Date: Thu, 16 Dec 1993 17:16:09 -0700 Here is the story that Jennise and I have collaborated on. (My first adventure into script writing!) Enjoy! margaret * * * * * * * * * * A Vampire In My Stocking A Forever Knight Christmas Story By Jennise Hall and Margaret Newman INT. RAVEN - NIGHT - December 22, 1993 Janette circles the room like a cat on the prowl. Her eyes search the crowd; she's searching for someone. She nods to the DJ as her eyes pass over him. She makes her way to the bar. JANETTE Aaron. The Bartender leans in so he can hear her over the loud music. JANETTE Where is Alma? A few of the regulars move a little way down the bar. Aaron looks at them, wishing he could join them. AARON (intent on the glass he's drying) She's not here tonight. She went out. JANETTE Did she? With whom? AARON Uh, a guy she met here last night. When you were gone. I figured you knew.... JANETTE What did this man look like? Was he... a regular? AARON Never saw him before. Little dude. Four foot five, maybe a little taller. Bright green suit. JANETTE I don't suppose you heard his name? AARON (stepping back a bit) Uhh, no. Janette wheels around. Aaron heads down the bar eager to deal with customers. As if they since her anger the partyers manage to keep their distance as Janette stalks back to her office. INT. RAVEN - NIGHT - DECEMBER 24, 1993 Music Blares. Punk kids dance, Spike among them. At the bar Janette accepts a glass of her special vintage. She takes a sip then spits it out as though it were milk (or one of Natalie's shakes). Across the dance floor the crowd parts for a spry little woman of at least 60, stylish grey hair, mid-calf red suede boots, green suede skirt, white silk blouse, red jacket and a small red purse. This is CLARA. She whispers a question to Spike. He points to Janette, who rushes to join them. Clara pulls a mint out of her purse, puts it in Spike's hand and pats his cheek. JANETTE Can I help you? CLARA Yes dear. I'm looking for the owner. JANETTE I am the owner. CLARA How wonderful. Is there some place, quieter? JANETTE Oui, of course. INT. RAVEN - JANETTE'S OFFICE - NIGHT Janette allows Clara to enter the office before her. Janette scowls as Clara examines the furnishings. JANETTE How can I help you? CLARA I'm Clara. Janette waits for Clara to say something, but Clara only stares back waiting for Janette to... JANETTE I'm Janette. And...? CLARA Oh, yes. I'm looking for one of my employees. Jemmi. He's four foot five, wears a lot of green. He hasn't been at work for nearly a week. His job is extremely important. JANETTE I'm sure I'd remember him if I'd seen him. CLARA Oh, my. His co-workers said he spoke highly of your...club. He wouldn't exactly stick out you know. Janette puts an arm around Clara's shoulder and escorts her toward the door. CLARA Do you know a young woman named Alma? Perhaps I'll try her. From what I understand she's not... Janette stops in her tracks. JANETTE Alma!?! CLARA ...exactly the type of young lady I'd choose for one of my boys. Clara suddenly realizes Janette spoke. CLARA You know her? Where can I find her? JANETTE She hasn't been for several days. She settles her necklace watch back against her formidable bosom. CLARA Oh, dear. Oh, dear. This will ruin the schedule. Nicky is so particular about his schedule. JANETTE Nicky!? (under her breath) Oh, Alma, if you think I was strict before! Janette suddenly realizes that Clara is sizing her up; the most devilish glint in her eye. For a moment Janette appears chagrined. JANETTE (regaining her composure) I think it's time you left I have a business to run. CLARA Now see here young lady. You are responsible for this, Alma. She has made off with one of my employees and I'm holding you accountable for the inconvenances she has caused. Clara presses an index finger to her lips. The twinkle in her eye makes Janette nervous. JANETTE Can't one of your other...? CLARA A splendid idea! JANETTE Why are you looking at me like that? CLARA Elves, dear. They're called elves. Yes, I think this is the perfect solution. Clara produces a tape measure from her small purse. She measures Janette's height, but when she tries to get a chest measurement Janette swiftly side steps her. JANETTE What are you doing?! CLARA The uniform can be a little binding if it's not the correct size. JANETTE UNIFORM!!!! CLARA Each elf has a specific job to do. I can't simply pull one off their job to cover for Jemmi. At least not at this late time. It would require to much shuffling. JANETTE I will not wear a uniform. CLARA Nonsense, dear. I realize your kind has no problem with the cold, but you have to admit that as, uh, lovely as that dress is, it is hardly appropriate for visiting little children. Janette's temper flares. Her eyes glow, her fangs extend. Clara wiggles her fingers at Janette and her sexy black dress becomes green laderhosen with green tights, green elf boots, and a neon green Jughead cap. Janette is shocked as she realizes her eyes and teeth return to normal seemingly of their own accord. CLARA That's really quite unbecoming. JANETTE (at the top of her lungs) I will not leave this office looking like this! CLARA You look lovely, dear. JANETTE I cannot do this. CLARA Don't be so worried. She pulls a giant neon green clipboard from her purse. CLARA All you have to do is make sure no gifts get mixed up. Oh, and occasionally Nicky may need some help setting up toys in homes where children were especially good this year. JANETTE Absolutely not! EXT. SKY - SLEIGH - NIGHT Janette sits, rigid with anger, atop a huge red velvet bag of toys. A jolly man in a red suit commands the eight tiny reindeer pulling the sleigh. CHRIS Ho! Ho! Ho! INT. HOWARD JOHNSON'S - NIGHT - LATER Giggling fills the room. A small figure, JEMMI, buried under the covers of the bed squiggles up for air. JEMMI You aren't tired are you, Alma? Alma rises up off the floor by the bed, until she's face to face with her adorable companion. She runs her fingers over his pointed ears. They wiggle at her cool touch. ALMA You have the cutest little ears. He wiggles his slightly arched eyebrows in response, driving her into another fit of giggles. JEMMI Shall we rest a while, m'love? Alma uses the bed to pull herself up off the floor. As she climbs onto the bed she plants a wet kiss on the tip of his nose. ALMA (kisses his right ear) I'm never tired, JEMMI. Elf blood is just... (kisses his left ear) so....intoxicating. She bursts into giggles again, then suddenly stops and looks at him seriously. ALMA Ohhh. you're gonna be late for work. JEMMI It'll be okay. Just this once. INT. MIDDLE CLASS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT It's Christmas! The tree is decorated in a whimsical style. Three stockings have been hung on the chimney with care. There's one for Mom, Dad, Olivia, and Robert. Janette appears with Chris near the fireplace. He carries the bag of toys, she carries a large teddy bear with a bow around it's middle. It's so big she's forced to hold it with both arms. JANETTE (sensing movement on the stairs) We'd better hurry. She plops the bear on the floor near the tree. It lands on it's face. Chris bends to straighten him. CHRIS We have time to make the presents happy, Janey. Janette (bristling) My name is not 'Janey'. These paltry materialistic items are not real. They cannot BE happy. He straightens, his eyes narrowing as he gazes at her. This makes her nervous, but she refuses to flinch. CHRIS It really is a pity I didn't have job when you were a child. There is movement on the stairs, to their left. Chris turns first to see a young girl, approximately 8 years old, watching them. CHRIS Hello, Olivia! Why aren't you nestled all snug in your bed? OLIVIA I heard noises. Are you really Santa? CHRIS (chuckling) Yes, dear. I really am Santa. This is my elf-helper, Janey. He motions with a gloved hand in Janette's direction. Janette, arms crossed over her chest, taps her foot impatiently. Olivia looks her over, and frowns slightly. OLIVIA She doesn't look like an elf. JANETTE I'm not. CHRIS She's new. (he shrugs, chuckling) How is your brother, Robert? OLIVIA He's fine, I guess. Baby brothers are boring. CHRIS Oh, but they can be a lot of fun! Do you think he'll like the teddy bear? The little girl seriously considers the bear with the ribbon around it's stomach. Janette exhales loudly, unable to hide her impatience. JANETTE You should be in bed, little one. It's late. OLIVIA I slept a long time already. She continues to hold Janette in suspicion. CHRIS But you are going to have a long day tomorrow. Your grandparents are coming, and your aunt has a special surprise for you. Why don't you sit up here, and rest? Chris takes Olivia up, and settles her in the armchair that faces the tree and fireplace. She yawns, and rubs her eyes though she hadn't been sleepy a moment ago. CHRIS You can dream about candy canes and sugarplums... Janette tilts her head and watches him work the child. JANETTE You hypnotized her. CHRIS (chuckling) Power of suggestion, my dear. She'll remember us only as a dream. He looks at Janette, a true smile on his face. CHRIS You'll do the suit justice yet, Janey. JANETTE (as they disappear) My name is not Janey! INT. NATALIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT The room is filled with Christmas decorations, topped off with the largest Christmas tree that would fit. On the television the last few frames of "It's a Wonderful Life" roll. Nick's attention is obviously not on the television screen. He watches Natalie sleep, in her oversized Christmas sweatshirt and thick comfy red and green socks. He gently removes her feet from his thigh and heads into the kitchen. INT. NATALIE'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT Nick opens the refrigerator, pulls out a bottle, uncorks it (with his teeth), and pours a small glass of dinner. Suddenly he hears voices. He heads into the living room to check it out. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Nick pokes his head out of the kitchen. He sees Santa nip Christmas candy off a small silver tray. Then Janette, cursing under her breath, shoves presents under the tree as quickly as she can. NICK Janette? He double over with laughter. JANETTE Nichola. NICK Natalie. You have to wake up. JANETTE (to Santa) I have finished! Lets go! Natalie stirs. CHRIS It's a shame you can't try these candies. They're delicious. With his vampire quickness Nick joins Natalie on the sofa. NICK Nat! She opens her eyes. NATALIE Santa Claus. Nick, I out grew this a long time ago. NICK (barely able to speak through laughter) He's real. Look who's with him. NATALIE My Camera! She bounds up off the sofa. NATALIE You don't mind do you Santa? CHRIS Of course not. She returns from the bedroom a moment later with her camera. Chris sits in one of the dining chairs and pats his knee. CHRIS Just sit right here and let your young man take the picture. Janey why don't you take my other knee? JANETTE Never! Nick is barely able to hold the camera steady. NICK Janette, you're going to have to explain this you know. NATALIE Hurry with the picture, Nick. They've got a busy night. JANETTE Please, Chris. Chris smiles gregariously at Janette, who surrenders and plops forlornly on his knee. JANETTE You will pay for this, Nichola. NICK I'm sure I will. Natalie melts into gales of laughter. Santa wiggles his fingers and the two disappear. INT. HOWARD JOHNSON'S - LOBBY - night - DECEMBER 25, 1993 - 4:30 AM The Night Desk Clerk, LEWIS, looks up at the sound of the door opening. He sees an older woman dressed in a casual Christmas outfit with heavy, fur lined coat. LEWIS May I help you, ma'm? CLARA Why, yes, young man. You certainly can. I understand a particular couple rented a room here a few days ago. LEWIS That's private information, ma'm. CLARA Good, this is a private problem. The boy I am looking for is about four feet tall or so. They do grow so fast! She walks around the counter so that she can see the computer better. LEWIS You can't come back here! (losing his cool) This is private information, the safety and security- CLARA Oh, tut, tut! Nicky rarely loses his temper. Jemmi's in no real danger. Neither is that floozie he's run off with. Ah, (tapping a key) Here we go! LEWIS I'm going to have to call the cops! CLARA Now, Lewis, that isn't anyway to behave. Your mother taught you better. Oh, look, Highlander is on! That Adrian is such a nice, well mannered young fellow... INT. HOWARD JOHNSON'S - ALMA AND JEMMI'S ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER The place is a mess. Blankets over the window. Remains of meals for Jemmi are on the floor around the door. Pillows are tossed about the room. A bundled lump is in the center of the bed. Knock at the door. Clara can be heard from the other side. CLARA(O.S.) Jemmi? Jemmi, dear, this is Mrs. Kringle. Do open the door, sweety! The lump in the middle of the bed jumps. There is a struggle to find an opening. JEMMI's head pops out the end, hair dishelved, eyes bleary. JEMMI Mrs. Kringle? Mrs. Kringle?? He says her name repeatedly, stunned that he has been found. And found by *her*. EXT. JEMMI AND ALMA'S ROOM - SAME TIME Clara looks around. No one is watching. CLARA Oh, bother! She blinks out of sight. INT. ALMA AND JEMMI'S ROOM - A MOMENT LATER CLARA There you are, you naughty elf! The lump wriggles more and Alma's head appears at the other end. She is pale, hair a mess. ALMA (in her best Janette tone) Who are you?! JEMMI This is Mrs. Kringle. THE Mrs. Kringle. CLARA Janette has been quite worried about you, Alma. You both have been very bad, and very insensitive. Now put a rush on Jemmi. Clara starts going about the room, straightening it up, and collecting clothes. She clucks her tongue occasionally. The two in the bed start to unwind, and sit up -suddenly quite modest about their bodies. JEMMI Uh, how's Mr. Kringle doing, ma'm? Alma is the first off the bed, wrapped in one of the sheets. CLARA Oh, just fine! That dear Janette helped out. She covered your disappearance, so we never missed a beat with the schedule. Alma freezes. ALMA (shoves hair out of her face) Janette? Janette helped pass out presents? CLARA Yes, and she did an excellent job! Alma begins giggling again. Then suddenly stops. ALMA She's going to push me into the sunlight.... JEMMI swallows nervously, the weight of his actions settling heavily on his narrow shoulders. INT. RAVEN - DAY The club is empty. Alma blinks into the room. She's dressed. Her hair is a bit less disheveled, but her makeup is slightly smeared. In the background Spike, saunters down the hall. He sees Alma and rushes forward. SPIKE Hey, Alma! You missed a killer party last night. This old lady came in. Oh, yeah, Janette was looking for you. ALMA I told her to send me to Nick's. Janette blinks into the room. Spike and Alma's jaws drop at the sight of Janette in her elf uniform. JANETTE Alma. You and I are going to have to have a... Janette suddenly notices their expressions. She looks down; realizes she's still in uniform. She stomps off toward her office. Alma and Spike look after Janette then at each other. They jump at the sound of the door slamming. SPIKE Man, I could swear I saw smoke coming out of her ears. JANETTE(O.S.) GET ME OUT OF THIS COSTUME!!!!!!!!! ALMA Maybe I should find somewhere else To sleep for a while. EXT. NORTH POLE - DAY Lots of snow. Buildings in the distance. A large man in red and a tiny man in green walk towards a large warehouse seperate from the other buildings. The man in red takes out a key ring, unlocks door of warehouse, and they enter. INT. CAVERNOUS WAREHOUSE - DAY To the left of the main door is a huge stack of blocks, 2 inches x 2 inches, that stretches down the length of the building. Several cans of paint stand in the middle of the warehouse with one lone, three legged, stool. CHRIS This is what we've decided, Jemmi. Mrs. Kringle was determined you learn the error of your ways. Chris sighs, shaking his head. Jemmi's shoulders slump. He knows what is coming. CHRIS You are to paint these blocks. All of them. No mistakes, no creative bursts of style. Just plain and simple, m'boy. Red, blue, green, yellow, white. Set them on this side when you're done. Chris points to the empty side of the warehouse. JEMMI Sir- CHRIS Now, Jemmi, this isn't negotiable. It was this or, (he pauses, JEMMI flinches) JEMMI No, sir, really- CHRIS Yes, it's this or painting the faces on Cabbage Patch Dolls. JEMMI shudders. JEMMI I like painting blocks. I'll do a very good job, sir. (sighing) A very good job. Chris patts Jemmi on the shoulder. CHRIS I know you will, son, I know you will. FADE TO BLACK - PERRY COMO SINGING IN THE DISTANCE THE END