Date: Sat, 30 Sep 1995 02:48:37 -0500 From: Julie Randolph Subject: Can't live with em; can't kill em **Forgive me this please, it is about 2:20 in the morning and I don't feel like writing anything depressing.** JCR Can't live with em; can't kill em A very brief, and probably very strange little FK fiction Julie Randolph inspired by no one I can think of at the moment "Rome." "Rome? You're not serious?" Nat raised an eyebrow,"Rome, Wisconson." Nick nodded,"Five years on a cattle ranch, next." She laughed and picked her drink up off the bar, taking a large gulp and gasping as it burned its way down her throat. The scorching sensation was beginning to lessen as the alcohol took its toll on her body...she paused, trying to remember what she had been talking about. Oh right. "Okay....Egypt." "The pyramids? Cairo?" Nick took a sip of his own "drink" and looked over at his companion. What could possibly have compelled him to bring her here? She giggled and leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder, trying to shake it and making herself dizzy in the process," No, no, no, no, no silly...Egypt, Texas." "Forget it Nat, you'll never think of something, I worked in rice patty fields for almost 15 years." "Nifinck...uhm...Nick, thers gawt ta be somphwhere you hafnt been." "Not anywhere you can think of in your current state, how about I take you home now?" "NOW? It's early yet, and LaCroix promised to dance with me." "Uhm, Nat? I don't think..." She sort of staggered to her feet and stumbeled over to where the elder vampire was standing. Nick shrugged, he knew that LaCroix would never hurt her in this condition. He preferred his mortals to al least be coherent. Nick almost laughed as he watched her spit something into LaCroi's ea, and then pull the reluctant vampire onto the dance floor. His eyes wandered over to Nick, but the younger of the two was not at fault this time and he would be damned if he was going to take the blame. From somewhere out on the dancefloor he heard a voice scream,"Witichacthie, Indiana." Nick sighed...been there, done that, have the tattoo. He supposed she would be safe for a moment if he just slipped outside to make a brief call on his radio. He stood in the darkness, staring wantingly at his car...he REALLY wanted to leave, but she was his responsibility and he was bound to take care of her out of some strange sence of duty or friendship, or probably deeper emotions he had no desire to get into tonight. He picked up the CB radio through the open window of a car he never locked because "who would be stupid enough to steal a vampires car on this television show where everyone knew he was a vampire except the captain and the partner...go figure" and called dispatch. "What do you want Knight?" And darn, didn't they sound completely and utterly glad to hear his voice this bright morning? "There is a disturbance at The Raven, can you send down a black and white to pick her up and put her in the drunk tank for me?" "Who is it?" The voice on the other end suddenly sounded vaguely interested. "Dr. Lambert." "No kidding?" "Just do it." (I will refrain at this point from throwing in some stupid Nike pun) "On the way, boy is she gonna hate you." Nick smiled,"Oh, yep, she was...but it sure was going to be funny." The black and white arrived in record time, in fack, Nick was not sure he had ever seen a cop arrive faster to the scene of anything. (any cop that is besides him because, well, he flew...of course) the police officer he knew only as "Miller" because that is what she had said her name was on last weeks episode and he couldn't remember the names of anyone else, smiled evily at him and walked behind him back into the bar. Natalie was still hanging from LaCroix's neck. It was very probable that he would be choking to death were he not a vampire and Nick could tell he looked unamused. Lambert, for her part, was completely and totally plowed. Miller approached,"Dr. Lambert, I'm afraid you are under arrest for public intoxication." Natalie didn't actually strike out at Nick, but she did kind of heave her arm in his general direction. Miller cuffed her whileLaCroix watched with approval and Nick leaned against the bar heaving with laughter and with that, the trio of Nick, Nat and Miller, left the Raven. "Get you...yup...getttt you." Nick tried to say something, but he was unable to speak because of the peels of laughter that simply shook him to the foundation. He had been right, this was hysterical, a nice bright star in his otherwise boring and endlessly endless tirade of a life. Later that evening, he went to pick Nat up in the drunk tank. Miller was sitting outside listening to her moan and talk about having vampire steaks for dinner, but wasn't really sure what she was talking about. Natalie was holding onto her head freverently, as if afraid it might slip off if given the chance, and perhaps, it would have, she mused silently. Nick took her home and put her to bed as gently as he could. He was trying really hard to feel badly about this, but it was just so funny that he consistantly had to supress snickers of laughter. Natalie bided her time in silence, knowing that she would get him, she didn't know how..but it could be done and she would do it. Her thoughts on revenge, a satisfying taste in her mouth, she fell asleep. Tracy drove in Nick's pile of junk on her own after he silently dissappeared into the night after acting like a dog that had just heard a whistle. She was about to turn around when a voice came over the CB. "81 Kilo...81 Kilo, respond please." "81 Kilo, go." "The perpatrator has been sighted, somehow airborne on the corner of Jackson and Milton...if he has a jet or something he's going to be gone soon, I suggest you get there as fast as you can..." Tracey did a 360 and almost shouted into the CB in her excitement,"On my way...did you inform Knight?" "Oh, I think he;ll know in about 2 minutes..." tracey shrugged and headed for the site, hoping for her first collar. Nat put down the radio reciever in the police station and laughed...vampires, can't live with em, can't kill em. ***************************************************************** all responce, cheerios, definitions of "irony", letters of recommendation, or sightings of Elvis to randolph@tenet.edu "When it comes right down to it...I still win."--LaCroix *****************************************************************