From: DanaKnight@aol.com Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1999 12:38:54 EST Subject: Devastation for archiving Here's a complete copy of Devastation for fkfanfic. Judy The poem "Portrait" by Katie St. James (katystj@usa.net) can not be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the author. Devastation by Judith Freudenthal Natalie arrived home after a long, tiring shift. A giant knot formed in her stomach upon seeing the blinking light on her answering machine. Her heart leapt into her throat, just as it had these past several days each time she saw the machine flashing. Flashed through her brain. She took a deep breath, pushing out the many horrible thoughts that filled her mind. She wasn't sure she was ready to listen to the message, and pressed the play button hesitantly. "Natalie, this is Dr. Banks. Call me as soon as you get in." She heard the concealed grimness in his voice and felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. Shakily, she dialed his office, fighting back her tears. She didn't want to call him, instinctively knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She knew that if she didn't call, she would be too preoccupied to accomplish anything, even sleeping. His secretary answered and put her through to him. "Dr. Banks." "Hi. This is Natalie Lambert." She bit her lip and pushed back the tears that fought for release. Natalie didn't want to say the words, but she had to know. "The results came back positive, didn't they?" "How did you know? Are you feeling okay?" He asked, concerned. "I feel fine. Somehow I just knew." "Can you come in tomorrow to be retested?" "What time?" "I'll be in the office until about seven pm." "I'll try to be there before then." She paused a moment before continuing. "I don't want anyone here in Toronto to know." "I understand. I'll keep the record separate." "Thanks." "No problem." They hung up. Natalie could no longer keep the tears from freely flowing down her cheeks. She knew the retest would show the same result, no matter how much she hoped it wouldn't. After a few minutes, she wiped away the tears and headed for her computer. She tried to access Collins' records but could not. They had been sealed. She knew it could only mean one thing. He had tested positive as well. She needed to know how far along he was, so she could know what to expect. "Damn you!!" She muttered, furiously. He had attacked her yet again. The next words out of her mouth would've shocked a sailor. She knew she had to talk to someone and headed for Nick's. Nick was awakened when he heard the elevator door open and the familiar beat of her heart. He threw on his robe and walked down the stairs. She was sitting on his couch staring at nothing in particular, the dried tear tracks still visible. The grief in her eyes was as evident as the anger. "You received the test results, didn't you?" He knew she had, but gave her the opening to talk about her feelings. "Yes. I'm going to be retested before I go in to work tomorrow. The test I was given is called ELISA. You don't want to know the full clinical name. It has been known to give false positives. The other test will be more sensitive. The Western Blot test does not give false positives. If I test positive there, I am infected with HIV." She tried to remain detached from what she was saying, knowing it was the only way she would be able to get the information out without breaking down. "What will happen then?" He asked, seeing her doubt. He also, somehow, felt the retest would come back positive, despite how fervently he wished he would be wrong. Her facade of detachment did not escape his notice. "I'll start taking AZT and another drug or two in the hopes of keeping the disease from progressing for as long as possible. Other than that, there isn't much that can be done until I start showing symptoms. When that happens, I'll just have to figure out the best way to handle each one. I'll do whatever I can to stay healthy," she said, the depression evident in her voice. Nick approached, arms outstretched but she backed away. She noticed the confused, hurt look on his face. "I'm dying from a disease that there is no cure for. How can you want to hold me? Or even touch me?" She asked, frustrated, angry, scared, and confused, yet needing his arms around her. Logically, she knew that neither HIV nor AIDS could be transmitted by hugging someone who was infected, not even a vampire. But at the present moment, Natalie couldn't think calmly or logically. "Because I love you. Because you need it." He sensed she was feeling tainted because of the disease and wanted to show her that it did not matter to him. Nick again approached, noticing that she didn't pull away, and took her in his arms. No sooner had she responded by wrapping her arms around him than she burst into tears. He held her and let her cry on his shoulder as he gently rubbed her back. A single blood tear traced its way down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, not wanting her to see it. He had to be there for her. She would need him now even more than she had during much of the last six months. Her tears escalated to sobs which wracked her entire body. He continued to gently rub her back, soothing her, feeling her relax as the sobs slowly eased. After a long while, she pulled back and dried her eyes with her sleeve. "Oh, my God!" She panicked. "Nick, we made love." She hadn't even thought of the possible danger to him, until just then. "It's okay. No disease has ever hurt me." He reassured her. When he saw the lingering doubts and fear he continued. "Not the plague or anything I've come across in 800 years." "I'm glad. It would kill me to know that this damn disease has harmed someone I...I..." Natalie's voice stumbled as Nick held her tighter, her sobs buried into the folds of his robe. She was tremendously relieved that her need hadn't infected him as well. "I know." "I hope I didn't wake you. I didn't want to be alone." "I had just gone to bed. It's no problem." "Whatever happens Schanke must never know. It would break his heart. Myra's too. I know you told him about my panic attacks. It was okay. He needed to know. Promise me you'll never tell him this. No matter how insistent he gets. I couldn't handle it if they turned on me because of this." She knew that was the real reason she did not want the Schankes to learn of her disease. "I promise." He wondered how his partner would take such news. Concerned, Nick asked, "do you want to stay here today? "Yes. Would you stay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked, wanting to feel his strong arms comforting her. The last time she had needed his strength and comfort so strongly was immediately after the rape. "Why don't we go upstairs? You'll be much more comfortable there." "I can't kick you out of your bed. I'll be fine here." "I insist." She reluctantly gave in, hearing the firm gentleness in his tone. They climbed the stairs, his arm draped across her shoulder. Just outside his door she turned towards him, giving him a chance to back out. He gently nudged her towards the door. She took the hint and entered with him right behind her. He handed her a spare pair of his black silk pajamas and left so she could change. As she slipped into the pajamas, Natalie caught her reflection in the mirror. She remembered just a few months ago thinking that she needed to shed a few pounds and gave an ironic grin as her thoughts turned to her future. Images of herself extremely thin, her skin blotched from the disease and medications bombarded her brain. She forced them out of her mind. Nick knocked on the door and entered at her invitation. He turned down the bed for her. She crawled under the covers, lying on her side. He sat next to her and gently rubbed her back until his hearing informed him that she was sound asleep. He continued to soothe her for a time then lay down next to her. Her rhythmic breathing lulled him to sleep. The next night Natalie went in for the retest before work, causing her to be a half hour late for her shift. She felt that everything would be okay as long as no one found out. She wondered what it would feel like if her coworkers found out, and she was no longer safe or welcome there. She didn't even want to think about the possibilities if the truth did come out. She felt people watching her, but knew it was only her imagination. She felt a little like someone who didn't quite belong, but knew that she did still belong as much as anyone else did. She pushed her uneasiness aside and prepared herself for her first autopsy. She wore two pairs of latex gloves as part of her commitment to be extra careful with all lab work or autopsies. She knew all it would take was one victim falsely showing up as HIV positive for tests to be run on the staff. She knew she might come in contact with something that would speed along the progression of her disease, if she didn't take extra precautions. After all, dead bodies were carriers for all sorts of bacteria, viruses and sometimes poisons. She put all her spare work time into Nick's cure. It helped keep her mind off the waiting, something at which she had never been particularly good. Nick was almost as worried as she was and helped keep both their minds occupied by letting her choose the movies they watched during the next week, when they were not being forced to work overtime. For once neither minded the extra hours. Natalie gratefully accepted Nick's offer to stay at his loft under the condition that she would sleep on the couch. She did not want to be alone. She was unsettled all week, knowing deep down inside that the results would again be positive. She tried to be optimistic, and found it to be very hard, if not impossible. Nick understood perfectly, not wanting to be alone either. He reluctantly agreed to her one condition, knowing that he would not be able to persuade her otherwise. Natalie entered her apartment just over a week later, after her shift had ended. She found her message machine blinking its red light at her. Fear gripped her as she reluctantly hit the play button, knowing this was it. Her life would be forever altered by the message awaiting her. A knot once again formed in her stomach. "Natalie, this is Dr. Banks. I need to see you as soon as possible." Her stomach started to flip flop. She looked at her watch, saw that it was after eight am. A part of her did not want to make the call and looked for any excuse to postpone it, but the other part knew that she had to if she wanted to be able to do anything. She also knew that the longer she put it off the harder it would be. She picked up the phone, her hand trembling slightly and dialed his office. "Dr. Banks, please," she said, hoping his secretary did not detect the slight shakiness of her voice. Natalie's call was quickly transferred. "Dr. Banks here." "This is Natalie Lambert. I just got your message." She had to work to get the next part out. "I have it... don't I?" "Yes. Can you come by? I have the next hour free," he said, sympathetically. "I'll be right over." She knew that she would not be able to get any sleep anyway. The trembling in her hand increased as the shock set in. Tears threatened to burst out as she hung up the phone. She pushed her tears back, promising herself to let it all out when she got home. She left her apartment in a bit of a daze. She walked to her car on autopilot, and was a little startled to suddenly find herself in the garage, right next to her car. Natalie entered Dr. Thomas Banks office suite and was shown to his private office. He saw her and motioned for her to have a seat as he shut the door behind her. Dr. Bank's fiery red hair passed Natalie's blurred vision as she sat. Looking up, she saw the concern in his green eyes and wondered how many times he had to look through them while delivering the bad news to other patients. It also occurred to Natalie at this moment that Dr. Banks appeared older than his age of thirty-nine. Pronounced wrinkles around his eyes and forehead told the story of worry and dead patients. His tall, athletic body awkwardly slouched in his chair as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He offered her a cup of coffee which she gratefully accepted. He let her sip it and gather herself together before he started. "What do you know about the disease?" Dr. Banks asked, respecting his patient's medical knowledge. He would try and make this session go as easily as he could, knowing that this diagnosis often overwhelmed the calmest, coolest and most educated people. "I do have some knowledge of it. I had a friend die from it. How soon will I get sick?" She asked with a clinical detachment, knowing it was the only way she could get through it without losing her composure. Her eyes betraying the emotional turmoil within. "As of your most recent examination you were perfectly healthy. Your CD4 level is 800, which is normal for a healthy immune system. For now, your immune system seems to be the only affected part. You are now in what is called the antibody positive asymptomatic phase. You can stay like this for months or years. The average time before the symptoms start is eight years. I've read about patients who are going on twenty years in this phase," he said, giving her a few moments for it to sink in. "I understand. What about my T-Cells?" Natalie knew that they played an important part in the immune system. "Your T-Cell count will start to drop at some point. The exact time when it will can't really be pinpointed. Once your CD4 level does drop, we will work together to manage it the best we can. Our goal for now is to keep you healthy, which should keep you asymptomatic for as long as possible. The healthier you stay, the better." "Okay." She sipped more coffee. Dr. Banks noticed that she seemed to be handling it well, at least on the surface. "How will I know when it's changed?" She asked with her same clinical detachment. "Your CD4 level will most likely have dropped to somewhere between 500 - 600. Around that time you might start having intermittent fevers without any other symptoms, begin losing weight for no reason, feel fatigued from non-work causes, or get Montezuma's revenge which does not go away." He paused a moment before continuing with the list of possible symptoms. "If you wake up soaking wet for no reason, have frequent, unexplained headaches, lack of appetite, trouble swallowing, any new skin conditions, confusion or trouble remembering, change in vision, sores or white patches in your mouth, chronic yeast infection, or any problem with your reproductive system. If there's a cough, shortness of breath, tightness or pressure in the chest. If you experience any of these I need to know right away." "How do I stay healthy?" Natalie asked, trying to keep some of her professional detachment intact. Hearing all those possible symptoms nearly overwhelmed her. She had to struggle to keep control over her emotions. She didn't want to break down and cry, not here, not now. "You need to eat properly, take a good multi- vitamin, make sure you get plenty of rest and exercise. A positive mental attitude is also very important." "What about medication?" She appreciated the way he was treating her as a colleague, not talking down to her. She couldn't have stood the condescension she'd received from that hotshot doctor after her rape. "I want to start you on the standard treatment. You'll be taking several drugs, AZT, ddI and ZDU. Do you have a preferred pharmacy?" "Yes, one outside of the area I live and work in. I don't want anyone outside of Nick to know." "No problem. I'll call it in now and it should be ready by the time we're finished." He called in the prescriptions to a pharmacy about half an hour from where Natalie lived and worked. "I think I'll start you on the medication now. When was the last time you ate?" "About four or five hours ago. Why?" "The ddI requires that don't eat sooner than two hours on either side of taking it. It has to be taken on an empty stomach." "Okay." He gave her almost a dozen pills to take along with a glass of water. Six of the pills were the AZT. She swallowed them, washing them down with the water. "The info sheets with the prescriptions should answer most of your questions. If not, let me know. I will also need to know if you have any adverse reactions to any of the medications." "I'll let you know." "The AZT has some toxic side effects, one of them being that it suppresses bone marrow. It helps keep the virus from multiplying as fast. It should keep you asymptomatic for as long as possible." She knew that bone marrow was where blood cells were produced, and if she suppressed that production, then her immune system would be further compromised. He told her about the other drugs he wanted her to take, ZDU and ddI. "Do you have any questions?" "Not at the moment." Her mind was spinning in a thousand different directions. The information she'd received still had not fully sunk in. "Feel free to call me whenever you have questions." "I will," Natalie said, a bit dazed. He kept her about twenty minutes longer. Once he determined there was no adverse reaction to the drug he allowed her to leave. Natalie left Dr. Banks office, picked up her prescription and was unsure whether to go home or to Nick's. Her need for a sympathetic, non-judgmental listener caused her to head for Nick's loft. Nick was about to head up to bed when she entered. From her expression and the prescription bags in her hand he knew the results. He felt that phantom stake slice its way through his heart yet again, but kept his reaction from his face. "Nick..." she said, trying to be strong. Tears welled in her eyes as she dropped her purse and prescription bags onto the kitchen table. She draped her jacket over the chair. Nick walked over to her, put his arm around her shoulders and escorted her to the couch. He noticed that the diagnosis was overwhelming her. He saw little of the calm, cool, confident Natalie he knew. Instead he saw a frightened, angry, stunned and desperately sad friend. She wrapped her arms around him and let the tears flow. Nick held her and let her cry, gently rubbing her back, knowing how much it helped. He was grateful she couldn't see the bloody tears which made their way down his cheeks. He wiped them away before she could see them. He held her as the sobs racked her body yet again. It seemed like forever before she had no more tears left to cry. "I'm sorry," she said, congestion marring her voice. "It's okay. I would've been worried if you had shown no reaction." "There is some good news. Even though I am infected I'm not showing any symptoms. I am in good health and intend to stay that way. My immune system is still as strong as an uninfected persons. Dr. Banks told me that there are people who are going on twenty years without showing any symptoms. He told me what to watch for," she said. She hated to see the sadness in his eyes grow as she listed off the symptoms. She knew he needed to know everything if he was to be her support system. She was everlastingly grateful that he was there for her as she didn't think she could do it on her own. "Promise me that you'll let me know as soon as your condition changes." He was relieved that she would have a few years before the symptoms started. "I promise," she said, before she told him what else Dr. Banks had told her. She looked into his eyes. "I want you to promise me, you won't treat me any differently." "I promise," He said, looking into her eyes, hating the sadness he saw there. "If you start treating me differently, others will wonder what's wrong. I don't want anyone else to know." "I understand. It's the least I can do, you've never treated me differently." "I guess we both have our secrets now." He sadly nodded. "Can I use your computer? There's something I need to check." "Sure." Nick answered, confused. Knowing she wasn't thinking rationally he decided against questioning her motives. Nick walked over to the laptop, booted it up and entered his password before moving out of the way. Natalie took a seat in front of it and accessed the medical program she had on her own computer. She was determined to access Sam Collins' records to prove that she had, indeed, been infected by him. Her hands shaking slightly as they hit key after key. She quickly grew frustrated as trick after trick failed to gain her access. Nick was surprised at her computer prowess then realized that he had never seen her on any computer outside of work or the medical program on her computer at home. She was on her last trick when she saw 'access granted' flash across the screen. A small grin of satisfaction spread across her face before she became serious again. She typed in Samuel Collins' name and waited for the information to be displayed. Her fears were confirmed. He had also recently been diagnosed as HIV positive and was asymptomatic as well. The next words out of her mouth shocked Nick. He had not thought she knew such language. She slammed her hand into the table so hard it made Nick jump. "You bastard!!!!" Natalie shouted at the screen, having calmed down somewhat and exhausted her vocabulary of more colorful words. "Nick, he did it to me again!" she exclaimed. "Wouldn't it be ironic for me to find your cure, and you to outlive me as a mortal!?" "I don't even want to think about that now. Let's not think about the future. We'll worry about it when we must." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Oh, that's easy for you to say. You have eternity!" She shrugged off his hand. Her jealousy over his immortality came through clearly, along with some bitterness. "You don't have to look forward to the pain or the endless medications just to be able to function. Me not worry about the future? What future?" She paused, her anger and frustration quite evident. "Nick, I have nothing! Nothing but the damn disease and death." "Nat, you have a few years before all of that will start." "Can you guarantee that?" She saw his silence. "I thought so." She took a deep breath to help her calm down. "Okay, so you'll get very sick. You can either do nothing and wait for it to happen or you can make the best of the time you have. If it were me..." "If it were you, you'd be in worse shape than I am. You'd blame yourself and feel that you were getting what you deserved." She angrily cut him off. He was shocked, but knew she was right. He hated that fact. "You're right. I'm sorry," he said humbly. He purposely gave her his biggest, best innocent childlike pout. The one she could never stay mad at. She knew it but could not resist him. "I don't intend to give up without one hell of a fight." "Don't I know it." He grinned. He was glad to see that her fighting spirit had returned. He knew she'd need every ounce of it to fight this horrendous disease. He couldn't deny that she was infected. He did not want to lose her. He knew he could not bring her across or even offer that option to her. It would be unfair to offer something he could not go through with. But, then Nick began to think about the suffering Natalie would have to endure when the disease progressed. How could he place one hell above the other? For the moment, he tabled the fears, knowing that this was not the time to voice them. He felt a surge of anger, not at Natalie, but at Collins for giving her this terrible disease. "Nick, we can't be afraid to talk to each other about our feelings." Natalie seemed to read his mind. "Especially since we're not telling anyone about my being HIV positive. It will add a lot of strain to our relationship. Can you handle it?" "Yes. I know it won't be easy. I will be there for you. Can you handle it?" "Yes." Natalie had a momentary doubt. "We are making the right decision, aren't we?" "I think we are. But it is really your decision." "I think we are too. At least I hope we are." "Nat, if things get too tough, there are people out there to talk to." "I know. I don't want to talk to strangers unless I have to." "Okay." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She enjoyed being close to him, knowing that whatever happened she could not pass the disease on to him. He could see the tremendous relief in her eyes that his vampiric nature gave him immunity. He also noticed the tiny part of her that wondered if their research did make him the least bit susceptible to the disease. He wondered too, but didn't let it bother him as he had more important things to think about, namely Natalie. She noticed he didn't offer to bring her across, which somehow didn't surprise her. She knew how he felt about his vampirism. She realized that she wasn't sure if she would've taken him up on it if he had offered. After a moment of consideration, she realized that she didn't want to be brought across as long as she was healthy. As for what happened once her health started to decline, she didn't know, but didn't bother to worry about it. She would deal with it when the time came. Natalie walked back to the table and removed the info sheets from the prescription bags. She took them over to the couch to read. "What's that?" "The information on the drugs I've started taking." After she finished reading one of the sheets she passed it over to Nick so he could read it. He read the information, wanting to know about every phase of her illness. He intended to be there for her as he had been throughout her recovery from the rape and trial. The pages he held in his hands made the fact that she was truly infected sink in. He did not want to lose her. During her shift that evening, Natalie went over her mental checklist of all the things she had to do, the changes she had to make to her life to give herself the best shot at healthy, long term survival. She knew she would need rest, the proper diet and exercise. Medications and vitamins would be vital to combat the effects of the disease. Also, she was determined to keep up on the latest research to ensure that she would have the most effective treatments possible. She looked in her PDR for all the available information on the drugs she was taking. Grace entered the room just as Natalie returned the book to its place on the shelf. "How about some lunch?" Grace asked. "What did you have in mind?" Natalie asked, a bit uneasily. She did a quick mental check of when her last dose had been and when her next dose was due, realizing she had plenty of time for lunch. "I thought we'd try the new cafe a couple of blocks over." "I don't know. I have a few files I want to finish." Grace noticed that something seemed to be bothering her friend, but didn't inquire, knowing that Natalie would tell her only when she was ready to. "It's a slow night. The files will still be there when we get back. You need to eat." "Okay." Natalie knew that if she didn't go, Grace might suspect something. She didn't want to risk losing her best friend (mortal one, anyway) by having Grace question her and possibly figure it out. Natalie and Grace were shown to a table and handed menus. Natalie knew that HIV/AIDS could not be contracted from going to a restaurant, yet the eyes of everyone in the place seemed to burn into her skin as if they knew her secret. "What are you going to have?" Grace asked. She noticed Natalie seemed a little too quiet, like something was wrong. "I don't know. I've been thinking of trying to eat healthier. Our hours don't always lead to the proper diet." "This is true." Grace said. "Is everything okay?" Grace's concern came through in her voice. "Yes. Why?" Natalie forced herself to relax. "You're too quiet." "Sorry. Nick and I had a fight earlier," She said, hoping Grace would believe it, as it was the truth. "Yes, we made up." "I'm glad. It's over, so forget it. Okay?" "Okay." Natalie wished all of it could be forgotten so easily, but knew the HIV diagnosis would always be there. Later in her shift she was checking through her recent journals for the latest HIV/AIDS research information. She found a few articles on the new drugs that were just now entering first trials. Drugs that would hopefully improve the quality of life for those with AIDS, as well as prolonging life. She found an article on the latest findings on the virus itself. After her shift was over, she went to Nick's loft. He had promised to cook her dinner. She couldn't wait to see this! He could barely boil water. She arrived at his loft before he did, quickly growing worried because sunrise was only a few minutes away. She settled herself onto the couch and heard the door open. The sight of a vampire carrying in bags of groceries made her smile. "Can I help?" "No. I've got it." She moved closer to watch him try and figure out what went into the fridge and what didn't. He did pretty well. "What's for dinner?" She asked, curiously. "I thought I'd start with a stir fry. It seems simple enough." Nick started preparations for dinner. He washed then cut up the vegetables before moving onto the meat. She remembered how he had fixed simple meals for her during that first week after the rape, when she didn't eat take out. "Can I help?" "No. I want to do this for you. Call it my part in helping you fight it." "Okay. Besides, it's nice not to have to cook for myself every day." "This won't interfere with your medication schedule, will it?" "No. It's fine." He set the table, quite elegantly, making sure that everything was in the proper place. She noticed, and was impressed.. "Will you join me?" She asked, trying not to be too pushy about it. "I will try a little of everything, just for you," he said with a small grin. "I now understand how you feel everyday. Trying to fit in, yet feeling like an outsider. Praying that no one discovers your secret." "Did something happen?" He asked, concerned. He thought it was interesting, and maybe a little strange, how she compared their secrets. In a twisted sense, he liked it. It did give them one more thing in common, things they both wished they didn't share. "Not really. Grace insisted that we go out for lunch. Since work was slow, I couldn't really refuse. While we were waiting to place our orders, it felt as if everyone was staring at me because they all knew. It was a most unsettling feeling." She shuddered as she remembered it. "No one here, outside of the two of us knows. Relax, or you'll end up like me." His tone lightening as he spoke about himself, trying to cheer her up. "We wouldn't want that would we?" She teased, going along with his attempt to make her feel better. About half an hour later they were eating a healthy, colorful meal. "This is terrific. I will have to let you cook more often. How did you learn to do this?" His culinary expertise had caught her completely by surprise. He was pleased she enjoyed the product of his effort. He found the few bites he ate to be barely tolerable. "I've watched a few master chefs over the years. Although, I didn't spend much time watching Italian cooks." "Because of their love of garlic?" She asked with a wicked grin. "Yes." He matched her grin with one of his own. "I've been reading cookbooks and watching cooking shows. I didn't want my first real effort to poison you." Natalie didn't know what to say. Instead she let her very large warm smile do her talking. She gently caressed the side of his face in a silent thank you, loving the smile it brought to his lips. After dinner and a killer chocolate dessert they cuddled up together on the couch to watch a movie. Both of them savoring their time together, knowing that her disease could worsen at any time. They had watched two movies before he noticed that she was yawning. "What?" She asked, curiously. "Nothing. I'm just surprised you're not asleep by now." "I don't seem to be able to sleep. I was warned that I might have trouble sleeping. A mild side effect of the medication, which should stop in a week or two as my body gets used to it. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind watching a lot of movies." "What if it doesn't stop?" "Then they'll play with the dosage. Or something." "I don't mind watching movies, as long as you're here." He knew he'd do anything he could to make things easier for her. A few nights later, Grace noticed that Natalie was a bit tired during her shift. "Natalie honey, is anything wrong?" "No. I didn't get much sleep." "Were you doing something..." Grace teased. "Nothing like that. I couldn't get to sleep. I tried every known remedy without success." "Everyone has nights where nothing seems to put them to sleep. This wasn't the first time either was it?" "No. I've been having trouble sleeping for the last few nights. I'm sure it will pass. I even tried reading the latest journals with no luck." "If you need to talk about anything, let me know." "I will. Thanks. Don't worry. I'm sure in a day or two I'll be sleeping like a baby again." After their shifts finished, Natalie once again stopped by Nick's loft. It had become a routine both enjoyed. She disliked cooking and eating alone, and he found he enjoyed cooking, even if he couldn't eat it. The pleasure of seeing her smile at each new creation made it worth the effort. She knew it was his way of feeling as if he were helping, and he was. She sat down on the couch and saw a small festively wrapped box on the coffee table. "For me?" "Yes. Open it." He sat down next to her and watched as she opened the present. Inside the box she found a beautiful sterling silver pill box. Every exterior surface was covered with an exquisitely engraved design. She opened the lid and saw the inscription which read 'Nat, don't forget to take these, Love Nick'. "It's gorgeous. It's nicer than the one I gave you. Where did you find it?" She was impressed that it said 'Love, Nick' and not his usual cop-out 'With Affection'. "I was digging through some of my old boxes and found it. I had it cleaned and engraved just for you. I thought you might like to have something nice to carry your medication in." "Thank you." She kissed his cheek as another way of thanking him. "So, did you catch any more cooking shows?" "Yes. I caught an Italian one this afternoon. She fixed a dish without any garlic in it." "When do I get to taste it?" "Maybe tomorrow night, if I can gather everything up, and not ruin it." Natalie smiled, knowing he was still a little unsure of his culinary talents, but enjoyed the challenge. "Did I ever tell you, I like having my own personal chef," she teased. "Wait until you see what Chez Nick's house special is," he teased back with a lousy French accent, which made her giggle. She headed for her purse and pulled a gift wrapped box from it. "I thought you might like this," she said as she handed the present to him. He ripped the wrapping paper off it like a child at Christmas. He grinned upon seeing that it was a cooking video. "Thanks. This is great. Didn't they have a chocolate one?" He teased. He knew Chinese food was her other addiction. "They were out of it," she said slightly blushing. "I thought you might like this one." "I'd like anything you gave me." He loved watching the blush deepen. Two weeks after Natalie had started on the medication she and Nick were watching videos again. Nick noticed that she had fallen asleep during the second movie as she usually did. He was pleased to see that she had been right, that once her body had adjusted, the insomnia had stopped. He knew she might be a little annoyed with him as he scooped her up into his arms, careful not to wake her, and carried her upstairs to his bed. He gently laid her down and tucked her in. He went back downstairs where he grabbed a blanket and pillow from the closet and soon was asleep on the couch. That afternoon Natalie dressed trying to look both professional and stylish. She had agreed to talk about her job with a group of high school students. The teacher thought his students might enjoy hearing about different careers from people who actually worked in the fields, rather than from some career counselor or public relations person. She made sure that her hair and makeup was just the way she wanted it before she left. She didn't wear much makeup to work, but did need a little since she didn't get out into the sun as much as she used to. Although she decided that she looked fine, Natalie did not feel fine. Physically, she was okay, but something inside her made her queasy as if she were going to be put on display. Natalie double checked that she had all the information she needed in her briefcase before she headed out. During the drive to the high school Natalie felt the butterflies in her stomach turn into elephants. She had given at least two dozen speeches in the last two years, but she hadn't been this nervous since the first one. Before long Natalie entered the high school and checked in with the office. They directed her to the classroom. Natalie entered the room along with the students, stopping to talk to the teacher as the teens found their seats. Natalie's butterflies were still there, but had eased slightly. Talking about her job was one thing she did well. She focused on that fact and felt the butterflies ease even more. Natalie looked at the full room of about sixty students and momentarily wondered if she should've held it in a bigger room. She hated to use a microphone as it limited what she could do during her lecture. She hated auditorium like rooms because then the lecture became too formal and that often intimidated the teens to the point where they were too uneasy to ask questions. She liked the more personal touch a classroom gave her. "Class, I'd like to introduce today's speaker, Dr. Natalie Lambert. She's one of the Toronto Police Department's top forensic pathologists." Natalie quickly set out her stacks of information for the class, as it helped her relax and focus. "Hi. I thought I'd tell you a bit about my job as a medical examiner and then answer any questions you might have. I brought along some info I thought you might find interesting and will be passing it around later." She paused for a sip of water from the Styrofoam cup that had been left on the table for her. Looking down at the water, she suddenly stopped, thinking that her germs would be on the cup. Her thoughts wandered to what the students would think if they knew that one of Toronto's finest was HIV positive. Seeing a raised hand gave her an excuse to set the cup down untouched. "Yes?" "Are you going to show any gross slides?" One blonde haired girl asked. "No, I'm not." Natalie watched as a mixture of expressions crossed the faces of her young audience, everything from relief to disappointment. That broke the ice and the butterflies disappeared. That night Grace entered Natalie's office and saw her friend filling out the paperwork for one of their recent cases. "You look better tonight." "I feel much better. I slept like a baby last night." "I'm glad. I was getting worried." "I know. Thanks." "By the way, how did your speech go?" "It went great. The students were quite receptive. They were full of questions. I stayed an extra hour talking with them. The teacher said he might have me back again sometime soon," Natalie said with a smile. She loved sharing her knowledge with others, especially students. Two months later was Natalie's thirty-fourth birthday. Nick knew how much she liked birthday parties and had decided to throw her a surprise party. He invited all her friends, both from work and outside it. Grace, Don and Myra Schanke were the first guests invited. He planned a very festive party with an elegance that even Janette would admire, which was good, because he had both consulted and invited her. Janette knew he was hopeless at such things and wanted the party to be a hit, so she made several suggestions. She said that she might stop by to see how everything turned out. Nick found the hardest part was finding two perfect gifts for Natalie. One to give her, publicly, at the party and a second he intended to give her when they were alone. Nick was glad that Natalie had errands to run that would keep her busy most of the day because he knew it would take that long to put up all the decorations, something he wanted to do himself, rather than hire someone to do it for him. The caterer brought the food right before he had to leave for his shift. Nick didn't trust his cooking skills enough to make party food for a large group. Cooking for Natalie was different. He remembered to place his food into a cooler on the far side of his bed alongside the wall where no one should find it, reinforcing the ice around the bottles with blue ice for maximum effect. Once he was satisfied with the way everything looked, he headed for the precinct, hoping Natalie would not stop by the loft and ruin the surprise. He thought about changing the door code, but knew it would make her suspicious and probably a bit angry. Nick entered the precinct and saw Natalie already there. "Natalie, what brings you by so early in the shift?" Schanke asked. "I found a few reports you had been waiting for on my desk and decided to bring them over." "Thanks." Natalie noticed that neither of them mentioned her birthday. It only added to the mild depression that had settled in that morning. She couldn't be happy because it meant she was that much closer to her disease progressing. Nick noticed the sadness in her eyes, and understood. He hoped the party would brighten her spirits and not backfire, forcing her deeper into her depression. During the night very few people wished her a happy birthday, which surprised her. At least this way she didn't have to force a polite smile as they offered her birthday greetings, sometimes a card as well. She wondered if those who had wished her a happy birthday, would've if they'd known her secret. Around the middle of Natalie's shift, Grace entered Natalie's lab. Natalie looked up just in time to see her friend pull a gift from behind her back. Grace was one of the few that could cheer her up, no matter what. "Happy Birthday, Natalie." "Thanks, Grace." Natalie unwrapped the box, and pulled out a mug filled with dark chocolate candies. 'In case of emergency, fill with chocolate' was printed on the white ceramic mug in a chocolate brown color. "It's great. Thanks." She smiled, handing a chocolate to Grace before consuming one herself. Dark chocolate was her favorite. Grace saw wisps of sadness cross her friend's eyes. "This is your birthday. You're supposed to be happy, not sad. Do you want to talk about it?" "Sorry. I think working on my birthday is getting to me. It seems like I wind up working this day every year." Natalie wondered how Grace would react if she knew. Would she still be there for her or would she turn on her? "Maybe you'll get lucky next year." Natalie couldn't help but wonder how healthy she'd be next year. "I hope so." She tried to think positively. A small grin crossed her face as she realized that if she hadn't worked late on her twenty-eighth birthday she wouldn't have met Nick. "That's more like it," Grace said as she left. Schanke stopped by the loft after his shift. He had been assigned the task of making sure everyone arrived before Nick and Natalie did. He punched in the alarm code, which hadn't changed from when he stayed there. When he entered the loft, he was impressed with the decorations. There was a very nice 'Happy Birthday Natalie' banner stretched across the railing on the upper stair landing, outside Nick's bedroom. Dozens of helium balloons of every color were anchored around the loft, their bright ribbons added to the very colorful, festive feeling. Red, yellow and pink roses decorated the table tops, since they were her favorite flower. Nick had purposely avoided the white variety, knowing the unpleasant memories and feelings it might bring back. The guests began to arrive a few minutes later. They too were impressed with the elegance of the decor. Back at the coroner's office, Natalie saw Grace passing by in the hall. "Grace, how about we go out to dinner tonight? My treat." "I'm sorry. I can't. I have a date." "Do I know this person?" Natalie asked with a grin. "Yes. I'm sorry but I've gotta run or I'll be late." "Go on. I want to hear about it tomorrow." "Sure." Grace was looking forward to seeing the expression on her friend's face. She hoped it would lift Natalie from her birthday funk. Nick called Schanke at the prearranged time to make sure everything was still on schedule, pleased when it was. After he hung up he slipped his phone back into his pocket and entered the coroner's building. Once inside he headed for Natalie's office. "Hi, Nat. You ready?" He saw the same sadness and depression in her eyes and wished there was something more he could do. Some way to ease it for more than just a few hours. "Sure." She tried to sound cheerful, but didn't fully succeed. She was a little surprised that neither he nor Schanke had mentioned her birthday. Nick had forgotten once before, she knew, but she was surprised that Schanke hadn't mentioned it. He had not forgotten her birthday once in the last five years. She wondered if something was afoot, but doubted it. Nick and Natalie quietly rode up in the elevator together, with little to say to the other. As she leaned against the elevator's back, she glanced sideways at Nick. When the elevator stopped, Nick opened the door. Before they could get more than a step into the room, the lights came on and Natalie heard "surprise" being shouted by at least a dozen of her friends. Natalie's eyes grew wide, stunned by the sight before her. A moment later she scanned the room, seeing almost all of her friends there brought a smile to her face. "Thank you all," Natalie said, overjoyed. Yet, there was a hint of sadness buried deep in her eyes. "The loft looks great!" She was impressed. "Happy birthday, Nat," Nick said, as he kissed her on the cheek. Her friends wished her a happy birthday as well. Several hugged the birthday girl. Natalie forced herself to relax when ambushed the first time, knowing the disease could not be transmitted that way. She knew that if she pulled back she'd have to explain and didn't want to go into that territory. It would only ruin the festive mood around her. Natalie began to wonder how many more birthdays she would see, how many before she would be too sick to care. She also wondered how they would react if they knew that she was HIV positive. Would they even be here? Would they want to touch her or consume the refreshments? She banished such thoughts from her mind not wanting to spoil the party. Nick saw the far off look in her eyes and suspected she was thinking about the future and if her friends found out. He wondered if she was considering asking him to bring her across, or when and if he would make the offer on his own. He didn't have an answer and hoped he didn't need one. "Nick, did you do all this yourself?" Natalie asked, pleasantly surprised. "I had a little help from Janette. I don't know anything about party planning." "It was all his idea, he just needed a little help in making sure everything turned out just so," Janette said as she entered. Natalie turned around and saw Janette stepping off the elevator dressed in an elegant red velvet dress that was quite flattering. "Welcome, Janette. Thanks for helping him. It's absolutely gorgeous." "Happy birthday, Natalie," Janette said as she handed her a small beautifully wrapped present. Nick escorted Natalie over to the couch where she found a mound of presents on the coffee table. The guests crowded around behind the couch. Janette took the chair near the couch and Nick sat on the couch next to the birthday girl. Natalie opened Janette's present first. She pulled out a sterling silver hair barrette with a very ornate and stylish design etched into the surface. It looked like an antique, yet it also had a modern look to it. She found herself wondering how old it was and where Janette had picked it up. "It's beautiful. Thank you, Janette." Janette saw the question in Natalie's eyes She gave a subtle nod to say that it was. Natalie gave a small grin in response. She hoped Janette would tell her where she had found it and when. Janette was surprised when she noticed a hint of depression in Natalie's large blue eyes. Nick handed Natalie a random gift from the table. She looked at the tag and saw it was from her friends at work. She opened the festive balloon and streamer print paper covering the box and found a black leather waist pouch inside. "It's perfect. Now, when I go for my walks, I won't have to drag my purse with me. Thanks, guys." "Exactly," Grace said, she'd been in charge of choosing the gift. Natalie was totally enjoying herself, momentarily forgetting about her disease. She was feeling like she belonged. Not an outcast, but a person simply enjoying the company of her friends. Next, Natalie was handed one of the three gifts Schanke had brought. It was tucked inside a gift bag that very colorfully said 'Happy Birthday'. FFrom his expression Natalie could tell he had picked it out himself. She reached through the shredded paper and pulled out a mug which said "Top Notch Doctor" on it and had a toy stethoscope inside. "Thanks, Schank. It'll come in handy. Mine always seems to be dirty." She playfully added the toy stethoscope to her attire, letting it hang down her front. She saw Grace's eyes twinkling and shot her a kind warning look. Grace got the message, but her eyes didn't stop twinkling. Natalie's repressed grin, didn't go unnoticed by Grace. The next brightly wrapped present Nick handed her was from Myra. She unwrapped it, finding a lovely royal blue silk blouse inside which would bring out her blue eyes. "It's beautiful. Tell her thanks. Where is she?" "She's sorry she couldn't be here, but Jenny has a few friends sleeping over. She didn't realize the conflict until earlier today. I'll tell her." "I'm sorry she couldn't be here." Next Natalie opened a gift from Jenny. It was a handmade paperweight that was star shaped. It was blue with silver and gold glitter sprinkled over it like stars in the sky. "It's lovely. Thank her for me, would you?" "I will. She'll be thrilled that you liked it." Schanke saw in Natalie's eyes that she really liked Jenny's gift. Natalie opened each present as Nick handed them to her, making sure she thanked the friend responsible. After going through the pile, she came to the last present, Nick's gift to her. Natalie noticed that everyone was curious to see what he would give her. They wondered would it be from a friend or something a bit more romantic. She was just as curious to see what he had chosen for her. Inside the box were a pair of tickets to 'Phantom of the Opera', very good seats. The perfect gift. It could be from a friend or a lover. Natalie's face lit up as she pulled the tickets from the box, showing them to everyone gathered around. "This is one of my favorite plays. Thank you, Nick." She rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek. "How did you get these? They've been sold out for months." "I bought them as soon as they went on sale. I knew it was one of your favorites." Nick picked up the pile of wrapping paper and was stopped by Nancy, one of Natalie's medical school friends. Nancy took the bows off the paper and headed for Natalie. Nick dumped the paper into the trash can. A frown crossed Natalie's face as her mind once again wandered. Natalie saw Nancy approach and attempted to back away. "Nat, you know the tradition." "Oh, all right," Natalie said, not wanting to disappoint her friend. At least now she could explain the somber look on her face, if she had to. Nancy proceeded to decorate the birthday girl with bows, putting most of them in her hair, and a matching pair on her shoulders. Natalie could hear the giggles coming from the guests, which lifted her spirits. "Back in med school we would have a party for each other and decorate the birthday person with bows," Natalie explained. "Did alcohol play a part in the start of this tradition?" Grace asked, teasingly. "Yes, we were a bit drunk the first time. Bonnie made sure that everyone else went through it each year on their birthday." "I like it," Nick teased. "A new fashion statement." "Nick, your birthday will be here in a few months, as will yours, Grace," Natalie said with a wicked grin. Mischief dancing in her eyes. She loved the panicked look that momentarily crossed Nick's face and the huge grin on Grace's. "Everyone eat, drink, have fun." The guests mingled, taking time to talk to the birthday girl. Nick received several compliments on the food and decor. Nick brought a plate full of goodies over to Natalie. She noticed he had a second plate with a few goodies on it causing her eyebrows to rise in the question 'are you going to try those?' Nick ate the three or four items on his plate eliciting a large warm smile from Natalie and a disgusted look from Janette. He ignored Janette's look, but did notice the surprise mingled with the disgust. "Janette, can I get you something?" Nick walked over to his old friend. "I don't suspect you have anything I might like?" "Actually, I did put something aside for you." Nick left, returning shortly with a wine glass full of Janette's preferred beverage. She graciously took it from him and proceeded to sip it. Natalie joined Nick and Janette, who had wandered from the main crowd. "Natalie, I picked up the barrette in a little boutique in Paris about fifty years ago." Natalie smiled, "I had wondered. Thank you for telling me." A short time later Natalie excused herself, needing to use the powder room, and take her latest round of medications. On her way back to the party she found herself staring out the window, once again lost in thought. Her eyes seemed to look through the window, yet they didn't see anything out there. Across the room Janette recognized the despondency radiating from Natalie's facial expressions and wondered why someone would feel like an outcast in the middle of their own party, especially someone that had been having a great time earlier in the night. Janette turned her attention to her brother, noticing a well hidden sadness in those immortal blue eyes, causing her to wonder why. Grace approached Natalie, concerned that her friend was too quiet and withdrawn in the middle of her own party. She didn't like the somberness radiating from her friend. She found herself wondering if this was somehow related to the emotional aftermath of the rape. "Natalie, honey, is something wrong?" Grace quietly asked. "What?" Natalie was startled back to the present by the familiar voice. "Are you okay?" Grace gently laid her hand on her friend's arm. "I'm fine." Natalie smiled, one that didn't quite reach all the way up to her eyes. "You sure don't look fine to me." "I'm fine. I think the last few cases are catching up with me, as are the extra hours." She smiled again, this time she was more convincing. "Thanks for your concern. It's nice to know you worry about me." Grace reluctantly accepted that answer knowing that she wouldn't get anything else until Natalie was ready to talk about it. "I know adults don't usually play games at birthday parties, but..." Grace said with a wickedly mischievous grin. One that didn't go unnoticed by Natalie. "This party needs a little spicing up. Natalie, come with me." Natalie was both curious and a little worried. She followed Grace to a spot by Nick's staircase. Nick was amused by Natalie's reactions. "Wait here." Grace walked over to Nick. "Now, it's your turn. Follow me." Nick allowed Grace to lead him to a spot by the elevator door. Natalie enjoyed seeing the mix of emotions which crossed his face. "Now that the umm, target is in place, as is the first umm, opponent, I will explain the game." Grace said enjoying the nervous looks on her friend's faces. "The game is pin the badge on the detective." Grace withdrew a kids police badge and showed the Velcro on the backside. "I couldn't have anyone hurting him, now could I?" Grace walked back over to Natalie, blindfolded her and pressed the badge into her hand. Next she spun the forensic pathologist around a few times. "Grace, one more spin and I'm going to be sick," Natalie said, gently warning her friend. Grace removed her hands from the rather dizzy coroner's shoulders and Natalie staggered towards the direction she hoped Nick was. "Nick?" Grace's glare kept Nick silent. "He's not allowed to clue you in." "How am I going to find him? This is a big loft." "Okay. I'll give you one hint. You're heading the right direction." Grace knew that left a lot of territory to cover. Janette found the whole situation most amusing, as did everyone else there. Natalie staggered less as the effects of the spinning wore off. Her hands were out in front of her as she moved, not wanting to smack into anything face first. She hit one of the dining room chairs and knew where she was. From there she knew exactly which direction Nick was in. She approached the door and was a foot too far to the left. A quick examination of the area showed her which way to go. A moment later an exploring hand found it's target. She ran her hands over his chest to the muffled giggles of her friends. She found where the badge would go on a standard uniform and attached it. She stepped back and pulled off the blindfold. "Very good job," Grace said. Nick saw that the game had indeed lightened her mood and was pleased. "Do I get a prize?" Natalie teased. "I think the physical exam you gave Nick is a good enough prize, but who was the main beneficiary of it?" Nancy teased. Natalie blushed. Nick grinned. Everyone else giggled. Several hours later the tired partygoers, said their good-byes and thank you's before leaving. Several wished Natalie one last happy birthday on their way out. Grace and Schanke were the last to leave. "Can we help you clean up?" Schanke asked. "Is there anything we can do to help?" "No, things are pretty much under control. Thanks for asking," Nick said. They took the hint and left, both wondering what was going to go on now. Nick heard the cars start and motioned for Natalie to sit on the couch. He made a quick dash upstairs and returned with another festively wrapped present. He joined her on the couch, handing the box to her. "Happy Birthday, Nat. Here's your real present." "You didn't have to." "I know. I wanted to." "You know for a moment today I thought both you and Schanke had forgotten." "Did we surprise you?" "I was surprised because he had never forgotten before, but I know you did once. The party took me completely by surprise. Thank you." "I wanted to make this a birthday you'd never forget." "I won't forget it." Natalie said with a smile that reached all the way up to her eyes. Natalie opened her present, seeing the look on his face, a mixture of curiosity and concern. Upon opening the box she found an old document inside. She lifted the antique wooden frame out of its tissue paper cradle. Upon closer inspection she discovered that it was an old medical license. The name on it was 'Nicholas Wright'. "Was this yours?" "Yes. I thought you might like to have it." "I would. But, I can't accept it. It must be worth a fortune." "Not really. The last I heard it was worth about a thousand dollars." "What was it like to be a doctor back in..." She looked at the date on the license and it said 1853. "It was quite primitive. Appendectomies and cataract surgeries had been done. We knew some anatomy, but most of it was still guesswork. Hypodermic syringes were used for the first time that year. The year before plaster impregnated bandages were invented. In 1851, the opthalmascope was invented." "This is the best gift I've ever received. Thank you," She said, giving him one of her warmest smiles and a hug. "I'm glad you like it," he said with that grin that always made her melt inside. They were drawn into a sweet, tender kiss. One that came from friendship more than passion. After the kiss broke off a thought occurred to her, "Nat, you can't hurt me," He said reassuringly, seeing her concern, as he gently caressed her cheek. "I know." She smiled, allowing his words to soothe her fears. "But sometimes I wonder..." "I know. The vampire would have to be a lot weaker in order for you to be a danger to me." A few nights later Natalie had decided to experience more of life, while she still could, and to drag Nick along for the fun of it. She entered his loft hoping her first attempt at this would succeed. She saw him finishing up a painting and approached. She couldn't wait to see what he'd created this time. "Nick, how about a concert under the stars? They're playing Beethoven." Natalie said as she caught her first glimpse of the work. It was a sun shining brightly over a field of wildflowers. "Sounds good. Do I have time for a quick cleanup?" He asked as he set down his paintbrush. "What do you think?" "Don't take too long. I like it." Natalie smiled as she continued to study the latest sun painting. A grin graced his lips as he cleaned up the essential items. He left his brushes soaking and quickly changed out of his paint spattered clothes. Moments later Nick and Natalie were out the door. She had him stop by the grocery store on the way to the concert so she could pick up some snacks and bug repellent. There was only one bloodsucker she would consider granting access to her body. Once they had parked and headed out to the concert grounds, they looked for the perfect spot. They found one that was centered and far enough away from the speakers that they would not feel like they were at a rock concert. Nick spread out their blanket, onto which Natalie set the picnic basket, before settling herself onto the blanket. He joined her. She leaned against his chest as the concert started. Nick wrapped his arms around her. "Nat, this was a great idea. Thanks for dragging me out here." He gave her another of those grins where she felt the warmth all throughout her body. She smiled back at him. "I'm glad you like it." She wanted the moment to last forever. The peacefulness of the night almost made her forget she was HIV positive. A few minutes later she reached into the picnic basket for a snack. She had found what she wanted for herself and casually handed him something as well. He tried it, almost without thinking about it. This fact did not go unnoticed by her. Moved by the music he ate several bites of the sandwich before he realized what he was doing. She suddenly realized what they had been doing wrong all this time. They had focused on his eating, making too big a deal out of it. Nick had balked like a little kid forced to do something he didn't want to do, but would do if left on his own. She loved the surprised look on his face and fought to keep from giggling. "It wasn't so bad, was it?" She teased. "Actually, it wasn't," he said, surprised. Natalie had eagerly awaited tonight, as Nick would soon arrive to redeem her birthday present. She was glad that neither had been called in on their night off, and was just as glad that neither were on call that night. Natalie added the finishing touches to her makeup before slipping into her new black dress, one she had bought just for tonight. The dress had thin shoulder straps and a matching jacket. She gave her hair a final inspection before adding a pair of pearl earrings set in gold and a pearl necklace she had bought with part of her first paycheck from the Coroner's Office. She heard the doorbell as she stepped into her black heels. She grabbed her slim black clutch purse and headed for the door, and opened it, ready to go. "Wow! We should go out more often." Nick smiled, looking her over. She was stunning in the sleek black dress. It came to just above her knees as did the matching jacket. Her hair flowed about her shoulders. "You look quite handsome in your suit." Natalie smiled, noticing he wore a tie. Before long they entered the theatre and saw the available souvenirs. "Nat, do you have the soundtrack?" "I don't have the full soundtrack. They always seemed to be out of it, and ordering it was too much trouble. I've nearly worn out my other version." Nick escorted Natalie over to the table where he bought her both versions on CD. "Can I have a T-shirt?" She asked, hopefully. "You can have whatever you want." He grinned. She picked out an extra large T-shirt for herself along with a matching baseball cap. They would be useful for her workouts. She picked up a second extra large shirt and held it in front of him. His expression showed her he knew what was on her mind. "Nat, I'll never wear it." "Why not? It's your favorite color." "Okay. I'll try to wear it sometime." He was determined to make as much of life fun for her any way he could. And if wearing the shirt would help, he would do it. "I'll take a program too," He told the salesperson. The salesperson added up all the stuff, startling Natalie with the total. She began to feel a little guilty. She saw in Nick's eyes that he'd willingly buy her the whole table if it made her happy and felt the guilt ease. Nick paid the saleslady. "I'll be right back." Nick headed for the trunk to tuck their goodies safely away. Natalie moved aside, not wanting to block the table. She noticed all the patrons. She felt them all staring at her, whispering about her. She knew it was all in her imagination, but she couldn't help it. She had never felt so much like an outsider looking in, wanting to belong. Nick returned. He felt her elevated heartbeat and saw the tension throughout her body. It was very subtle, but it was most definitely there. "Nat, it's okay. No one knows." He whispered into her ear, startling her. "I know. I know I'm no danger to them." She whispered back. "I can't help it." He wrapped his arm around her waist and felt her entire body relax. A small grin brightened her face. She wrapped her arm around his waist and banished all negatives thoughts from her mind. She reminded herself. They headed into the theatre proper. An usher checked their tickets and handed them each a smaller different program from the one Nick had bought. "You weren't kidding, these are great seats," Natalie said from her front row center balcony seat. They were high enough to see the entire stage, but not so far back that they couldn't see it. The railing hadn't quite come to her knees when she was standing, which unnerved her because it was a long way down, but would not be in her way when she sat. Nick looked over at her from time to time during the performance and noticed that she was captivated by the production. She looked over at him once or twice, unseen by him, and found him hooked by the action on stage. The play made her both sad and happy at the same time. The death part of the story reminded her of her own, which would come much sooner than it should. She quickly banished all negative thoughts from her mind and focused on the play. The parts about love made her happy and reminded her of Nick. Nick's thoughts were very similar to hers. During intermission they stretched their legs by wandering out to the lobby area. "Thank you for the perfect evening." "It's not over yet. At least I hope not." A small part of him feared that something was wrong. "Of course not. I just wanted to thank you." Natalie missed his very subtle relief that she was fine. A chime announced that the second half would soon be starting causing everyone to return to their seats. The second half of the play was as mesmerizing as the first, captivating both Nick and Natalie. All too quickly the play ended. As they left the main auditorium, Natalie headed for the door to the street. Nick wrapped his hand around hers and gently tugged her away from the door. A little confused and definitely curious she followed his lead. "I have a little surprise for you." He grinned. "How would you like to go backstage?" "How..." was all she got out before he cut her off. "I know a few people." To her look he quietly said, "No, there are none of my kind in the cast, or crew." He raised his voice back to a normal tone. "You didn't answer my question." "Yes, I'd like that, very much." Nick escorted Natalie to the backstage door where he was stopped by the guard. As soon as Nick gave his name, the door was opened and he was directed to the dressing rooms. Natalie and Nick had to wait a few minutes while the cast changed out of their costumes. One of the costars opened the dressing room door and motioned for their guests to enter. Nick heard Natalie's heart rate increase as well as seeing the subtle signs of her nervousness as they entered. The cast members introduced themselves to their guests, shaking hands as they did so. "I really enjoyed the performance. Phantom of the Opera is my favorite show. Something about it hooked me the first time I saw it years ago and it's still as enjoyable as it was then." Natalie was surprised at how nervous she was. "I'm glad you enjoyed the show. I have to agree that there is something magical about it. Playing the Phantom is one of the best jobs I've ever had." Natalie, Nick and the cast talked for quite a while longer as everyone was having a good time. "Natalie, I have another surprise for you," Nick said as the male lead pulled a framed, autographed cast photo out from under a crumpled item of clothing and handed it to Natalie. Nick loved the slightly bewildered look on her face which was quickly replaced by a large smile as she examined the picture in her hands. She loved the fact that everyone was in full costume. "Thank you. This is terrific," Natalie said, still a little stunned. She knew how hard these things were to get and wondered how Nick had accomplished it. She hadn't decided if she'd let him keep that little secret or would ask him about it later. The cast and crew remembered Nick from when he had helped solve a series of killings at the theatre two years before. The owner had told him that if he ever needed anything to let him know, so Nick had arranged for the "package" he had given Natalie that evening. Nick had insisted on paying for the tickets and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. The cast was more than happy to meet with them and sign the picture for Natalie. It was the least they could do for him. The cast was pleased by Natalie's great enjoyment of the picture, as well as meeting them. When Nick and Natalie left the theatre about ten minutes later, they headed for the Caddie. "Nat, what do you feel like doing now?" "How about going somewhere for a snack." "Okay. Anywhere in particular?" "No." She had a hunch he might've planned something, and really didn't care where they went. Before long Natalie and Nick arrived at one of the nicest restaurants in town. He loved the look of surprise on her face. "Should I ask how many more surprises you have planned?" "No. Just enjoy them. Remember, I promised you a night on the town after the theatre." "That you did." Natalie smiled, causing Nick to smile in response. They entered the elegant restaurant and were shown to a quiet table. Nick surprised Natalie by ordering something without having to be prompted. "This has been the best evening I can ever remember. Would you be doing all this if..." Nick cut her off knowing where she was heading. "Yes, I would. I told you that I wouldn't treat you differently, and I'm not." Natalie took her handful of medication while she waited for dinner to arrive. She was a little self-conscious as she did so. Nick noticed this and took his vitamins so that she wouldn't feel so alone. She smiled, wishing the timing had been better, but knew there was nothing she could've done about it. She was glad that it had one good side effect, Nick remembering to take his vitamins. The food came and Natalie discovered she was hungrier than she had thought. Nick ate a few bites of his appetizer. It was all he had ordered. He watched as Natalie finished her main course and then hungrily eyed the dessert cart, debating what to have, as it all looked so good. As soon as the waiter mentioned the sampler plate, she knew her decision had been made for her. She finished most of the sampler plate before feeling like she was about to explode. After they left the restaurant Nick headed for the park, seeing how beautiful the night was. Nick and Natalie slowly strolled through the park, enjoying this rare time alone with no distractions. Nick saw the clear starry sky overhead and began pointing out the various constellations, pleased when Natalie seemed as interested as he was. Natalie debated whether or not she wanted to go dancing, but after a few moments decided that she really wasn't in the mood for that, so the question remained unasked. After their long walk Nick dropped Natalie back at her apartment. She thanked him for a perfect evening and invited him in. He reluctantly turned down the invitation and headed home. She took her last dose of medication, changed and crawled into bed. It had been a long day and night, but one she would remember for years to come. Her dreams were sweet that day due to the sheer enjoyment of their night out. Nick entered his loft, grabbed a wine glass and one of his green bottles from the fridge. He poured himself a single glass before putting the bottle back into the fridge. He took the glass with him as he went up to bed. He downed the glass' contents before changing into his black silk pajamas. He climbed into bed and was asleep within moments. He too had pleasant dreams and for the very same reasons. The next afternoon Natalie had a bridal shower to attend. An old college friend of hers was getting married. While she enjoyed herself at Teresa's shower, a part of her wished she and Nick would be able to marry at some point. All such wishes did were to bring more negative thoughts to mind. She forced all negative thoughts from her mind before anyone noticed. This was supposed to be a festive occasion. She didn't want to try and convince her friends that nothing was wrong. Several nights later she dragged Nick out for another adventure. He wondered about the two rather large duffel bags she on the back seat of her car. Natalie drove straight to the park, loving the growing curiosity on Nick's face. Natalie handed Nick a duffel bag right after they got out of the car. "Nat, what are we doing?" "It's a surprise. It'll be fun. Just follow what I do," she said. She sat down on the bench and unzipped her bag. Out of the bag she pulled a pair of inline skates. She had always wanted to try rollerblading but had been too scared... until now. she thought as a grim expression shadowed her face. Catching herself, she put on a painted smile for Nick. He noticed, but didn't say anything. He knew it would only lead to her insistence that nothing was wrong, and possibly a fight. He didn't want to upset her. She loved the mixture of emotions as he saw her skates, knowing that he had a pair in his bag. She untied her sneakers, took them off and stuffed them into the duffel bag. She reached in and pulled out the knee pads and slid them on. In place of her shoes, she put on and laced up the skates. Nick watched her and copied what she did. He had seen people doing this before and knew that sometimes they got hurt. She slipped on her elbow and wrist guards, not wanting to break anything and have her secret revealed. The last thing she donned was her helmet, knowing how important it was. "Do I have to wear the helmet? I feel ridiculous," Nick said, almost whining. "Yes, you have to wear it. I don't want you scrambling your brains." Once Natalie had everything in place, she zipped up the bag and headed for the car. Nick followed behind her. He had a bit of trouble with the skates, surprising them both. He wondered why she seemed to glide so effortlessly while his vampiric nature was the only thing keeping him from falling. They dumped their bags back into the car. She enjoyed watching him getting used to having wheels under his feet, and gloried in having found something she was better at than he. "Why do you want to do this?" He liked the joy he saw in her eyes. "I hear skating is an excellent form of exercise. It's supposed to be fun too," Natalie said, covering her true feelings. Natalie thought to herself. Although she knew that it might be years before she developed full blown AIDS, she was learning that time wasn't an item that could be easily tossed aside or wasted. He just looked at her with that 'you've got to be kidding' expression. She noticed and couldn't help but grin. "Try and catch me," she said with a wicked twinkle in her eyes as she took off down the sidewalk. He knew he could catch her in a heartbeat, but that would be cheating, so he took off after her mortal style. He let her have a good sized lead for a while before slowly closing in on her. He could see she was enjoying the chase as much as he was. As he started to catch up to her, she occasionally threw in an additional burst of speed, just to keep him on his toes. When he caught up to her, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her close to him. "Had enough?" She teased. "Yeah. How about you?" She checked her watch, seeing that they had been skating for forty-five minutes. "Yeah. Something to eat would be good about now." "Where would you like to go?" "I don't know. Somewhere different." "Have you ever tried Thai food?" "No." She was glad that she wouldn't have to take her next dose while out, this time. The teacher from Natalie's last guest lecture had arranged for her to speak to another group of students about a career in forensic pathology. She enjoyed doing it, but it always made her nervous beforehand. She made sure she had all her notes, handouts, everything she needed before she gave herself one quick last look in the mirror. Her suit looked nice, her hair hung down around her shoulders. She grabbed her purse, briefcase, and car keys on her way out. She still wondered what would happen if they knew she was HIV positive, but forced her mind onto other subjects. She knew that no one could tell just by looking at her. She thought. she thought, mentally scolding herself. Before long she entered the classroom. The usual butterflies hit her as she was introduced. "Class, this is Doctor Natalie Lambert. One of Toronto's top medical examiners." "Hi, I'd like to start by giving you a description of my job, and then I'll take your questions." She watched them all squirm around in their seats, trying to get comfortable. "I've been with the Coroner's Office for almost seven years now as a forensic pathologist. I am called out to the field whenever a dead body is found. I work closely with the police department to determine under what circumstances the victim died. I use the latest technology to help me in my search for the answers. I think I'll stop here and let you ask your questions." She paused to look through the handouts she'd brought with her. She approached one student, handing him the first stack, so that he could take one and pass it to the next student. "How did you get interested in forensic medicine?" "I've always liked challenges. Solving a case is very much like doing a puzzle. I saw forensics as a way to challenge myself." She handed the next stack of papers to the same student to share with his classmates. As she did so she noticed her initial uneasiness was gone. "What happens when you get into the field?" "Without disturbing the crime scene, I examine the body to see what the cause of death might have been. I note down any obvious wounds, bruises or anything that might tell me how the victim died, and when. Sometimes it can tell us if it is one of a string of similar crimes. I also examine the area around the body for clues. Once that is completed I give my preliminary report to the detectives in charge of the case. Then it's back to the lab." "Is that where you dissect them?" "Yes. The victim's clothing will have been removed and packaged as evidence before the body arrives on my table. Once it arrives, I do a thorough external examination of the victim both with and without the aid of magnification. I look for traces of evidence which might be the key to solving the crime. Once that's done I start the autopsy. I have a set procedure I follow to make sure that nothing gets overlooked. I dictate my observations into a tape recorder so that I won't have to try and accurately remember them later when I type up the report." She felt completely normal. She was just an average person answering the student's questions. Not someone who was left HIV positive by the man who both raped her and infected her. "Did you get sick the first time you saw a dead body? Or the first time you cut into one?" "Yes." She smiled. "The first time I saw a dead body I turned a bit green around the gills. I was sick for three days after I did my first autopsy in medical school. After that, I had less and less trouble with it. You learn to separate your emotions and feelings from the job. If you don't, you won't last long. Yet, you have to be careful not to completely cut them off or you're in as much trouble." She noticed a few students were looking a little unsettled. "Are there any types of cases that you have trouble with? What do you do then?" The brunette student asked curiously. "Yes. Everyone has problems with certain types of cases. For me, it is burn victims and children. I take a deep breath and push all thoughts not related to work out of my mind. It often still gets to me. It helps to have a friend you can talk to about it. Someone who understands." "Is it harder being a woman?" asked a female member of the class. "Yes, but once you prove yourself it often doesn't matter. Where I work, it's how good you are that counts." She smiled. "What happens after you complete an autopsy?" "I prepare my report for the detectives in charge while awaiting the test results. I generally run a full spectrum of tests covering everything from toxicology to PCR. I try to piece together the information I learn into a picture of the criminal. Once I've gone as far as I can, I hand over my completed report to the detectives in charge, answering questions as new evidence is found or theories come up." She liked seeing the interest showing on many of the faces, and understood the feelings of the few who were starting to look a little green. "What is your average caseload?" "I generally handle between six to twelve cases a night. Some are cases that the dayshift did not get to, and some are new cases that come in during the course of my shift." Natalie continued to answer questions for another hour before the class was over. She stayed after class talking to several interested students. She wondered if she was talking to future forensic pathologists or just curious students exploring their options. Before Nick and Natalie knew it, Thanksgiving arrived, reminding them that they both had much to be thankful for. One of those blessings being that she had passed her latest checkup with flying colors. Myra had invited them to Thanksgiving dinner, via her husband and would not take no for an answer. Nick and Natalie arrived at the Schanke's on time. Under their coats, Nick had on a dark suit while Natalie had on a stylish royal blue dress. Nick had a bottle of wine in one hand, as a gift for their friends. Don opened the door, motioning for them to enter. Nick handed him the wine as they entered. "Nice selection, partner," Schanke said, knowing it had cost a few bucks. Don was dressed in one of his nicer suits, for the occasion. "Make yourselves comfortable. Can I get anyone anything?" Don asked as took their coats. He lead them to the family room before heading off. "I'm fine for now," both Natalie and Nick replied. "Myra, can I do anything to help?" Natalie called out. "No. I've got everything under control. I'll be out shortly. Thanks for the offer," Myra responded. Nick and Natalie sat on the couch. Moments later Schanke returned and lounged in his favorite chair. Jenny bounced in and out of the room, talking with Nick and Natalie for a few minutes, then she grew restless and bored as the conversation became more adult. Natalie thought Jenny looked cute in her maroon dress, matching tights and black patent leather shoes. The youngster's long brown hair was nicely combed. Before long Myra announced that dinner was ready. Everyone gathered around the table. Jenny was pleased to be seated between Nick and Natalie. Schanke carried out the large, perfectly cooked turkey, setting it down in front of Nick. "Partner, I'd like you to do the honors. No offense, Natalie." "None taken," she said, lightly. "Dad, you forgot the tradition," Jenny reminded him. "Thanks honey. In our house before we eat we state at least one thing we're grateful for. I'll go first, if no one has any objections." Schanke looked around and saw none. "I'm grateful for my wonderful family, a great partner and a terrific friend named Natalie. And that everyone here is healthy." Myra was next, "I'm grateful for a wonderful husband, a great daughter and two very good friends. I'm also grateful that we're all alive and healthy." "I'm grateful to have two great parents and to know Nick and Natalie. Who are really cool." "I'm grateful to be surrounded by wonderful friends," Nick said, feeling more like he belonged than he had in a very long time. Natalie saw the happiness in Nick's eyes, something she didn't see there often enough. He had finally accepted that he belonged here, that he fit in, that he was loved. "I'm grateful to have such wonderful, caring friends and to be here right now," Natalie said. Both Nick and Natalie were grateful that she was still symptom free. "Natalie, you're looking better than ever these days. What's your secret?" Myra asked. "I've been eating healthier and getting regular exercise. If you stick to it, it's amazing how fast you can get into shape. I've only been at it for the last couple of months. I make sure I get a little each day, and a full workout three or four times a week." "I have to start doing that," Myra said. "Myra, I wouldn't mind the company," Natalie said, knowing it was more fun to exercise with a friend. "I might just take you up on that." "Natalie, I had noticed it, but didn't know if I should comment," Don said a little uncertain. "A woman always likes to know when she looks good," Natalie teased. She felt normal, a feeling which gave her a great sense of peace. It allowed her to enjoy the evening without worrying about the disease. This did not go undetected by Nick, who was pleased to see her relaxing and enjoying herself. Everyone at the table, with the exception of Nick, stuffed themselves until they thought they would pop. Nick had surprised everyone by trying a bite or two of everything Natalie ate. "I thought you were on a restricted diet, partner. I'm glad to see you at least trying to eat." "I am. It all looked so good I figured a few bites wouldn't hurt me. Besides, there's a doctor at the table," he said with grin. "It was delicious." They moved into the family room to talk. About an hour later dessert and coffee were served. Shortly thereafter, Jenny fell asleep curled up in one corner of the couch. "Let her be," Myra whispered to her husband. Myra knew that Jenny would feel like she was a part of things, even if she was asleep. Two hours later Natalie excused herself and headed for the bathroom. She was glad to see paper cups in there as it was time for her to take her medications. She took the handful of pills, including the drug she had to take either two hours before or after eating. A few hours later the adults were yawning. Nick and Natalie said good-bye and left. It had been a wonderful evening for everyone. Nick dropped Natalie off at home before heading for his loft. Nick entered his loft, heading straight for his fridge. He grabbed one of his wine bottles and a glass from the cabinet on his way to the couch. He flopped down, poured himself a glass, and relaxed against the black leather of the couch. Great sadness crossed his face as thoughts of the future came to him. He knew that it was only a matter of time before Natalie was quite sick. They were both trying to pretend that wasn't the case, for the other's benefit. Nick felt another's arrival and opened his eyes, hoping that it was not his father. "Nicola, what has you so upset?" Janette asked, concerned about her brother. When Nick didn't respond she continued. "Does it have to do with Natalie?" She approached him. Nick nodded, hoping Natalie would understand his need to talk to someone. Especially someone who had helped her after the rape. "Is she okay?" She liked Natalie and hoped it wasn't anything too serious, but knew that it likely was due to the concern on Nick's face. She sat next to him on the couch. "For now she is." Sadness coming through as he spoke. "The bastard who raped her also infected her with HIV." Nick noticed Janette was nearly as shocked as he had been when Natalie told him. "I am so sorry, Nicola. What are the two of you doing about it?" She laid her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "She doesn't want anyone to know. We're going on as normally as possible. So far she's healthy and asymptomatic, so there isn't much that can be done outside of medications to slow down the progress of the disease." "Have you discussed the possibility of her becoming one of us?" "Not really. They tested her for HIV after the rape. While she was awaiting the results, she asked me if I would consider it if the results came back positive. I told her I didn't know. The test came back negative, so we didn't have to deal with it. After six months passed, she took a follow up test to be sure, and it came back positive. She even had herself retested to rule out a false positive, and it came back positive again." "How are you both handling it?" Janette asked concerned. She knew how her brother tended to take bad news, especially where Natalie was concerned. She felt him tense up and removed her hand from his shoulder. Nick took a deep breath, and spoke. "Janette, when I found out about it, I wanted that rapist dead. It would be so easy for me to get him. In my rage I could taste his blood, see his crumpled, drained body at my feet. How dare he do this to her!" Nick's fists were clenched as he spoke. Then he continued. "But I knew in my heart that getting sick and dying of AIDS, alone, would be more suffering than I could ever inflict on him." Janette watched him. She knew he was speaking the truth, and how it hurt him to admit it. She saw his fists slowly uncurl as he took a sip from his wineglass. He offered it to her, but she shook her head. "How is she doing?" "She's doing okay, for now. They have her taking three different medications which are supposed to delay the onset of the symptoms and the serious illnesses. But the drugs aren't without their side effects. She takes a handful of pills several times a day." "How's she doing emotionally?" She had seen how much trouble he had with the fact that Natalie would come down with AIDS. "Natalie hasn't had an easy time of it. She tries to act like everything is okay, but I see the look in her eyes. It is the look of an outsider looking in, wanting to belong. When she first learned about it, she was devastated. First there were the tears, then the anger. She was mad at the rapist for infecting her, and at me because I'd live forever. I couldn't offer to bring her across then, she was too vulnerable and might regret making a hasty decision." Nick took another deep breath and continued. "The longer she stays healthy and symptom-free, the easier it is to believe that it will last for a long time." "Are you willing to bring her across?" "I don't know. I don't want to condemn her to this hell." He said, his heart breaking. "Then I think about the hell she'll go through as the disease worsens." Nick sighed, shook his head, then mumbled before taking a long drink from his glass, "Which is the lesser of two evils." Janette remembered when he had loved her this much, knowing that Natalie was a very lucky woman. "Listen to your heart. It will tell you what to do." Janette offered. "Listen to Natalie. Really listen." "Thank you." He said as he gave her a quick kiss. He loved the surprise his action brought to her features. "If you find that you can not bring Natalie across for one reason or another, I would be glad to do it for you. With her consent, of course." She wasn't sure how he would take that offer. "Again, thank you. I will keep it in mind," He said, knowing she was looking out for both his and Natalie's best interests. "Any time you need someone to talk to..." Janette said, knowing how hard it is to be alone. "I will." A few nights later, Natalie once again met Nick at the Caddie for their latest adventure. She couldn't wait to see what he thought of this one. He had the heater on making the car nice and toasty. She gave him the address and grinned at his surprised and slightly panicked look. They arrived at the skating rink and parked. She wondered if he would be any better on ice skates than he had been with the rollerblades. He too was curious about his abilities.. They entered the rink and headed for the rental counter. With skates in hand, they headed for the nearest empty bench and slipped into the skates. This time they both had trouble walking in them. As soon as they reached the wall outlining the rink, they grabbed hold. Cautiously, Natalie stepped onto the ice. It took her a few moments to get used to its slickness. Once she felt confident, she moved out of the doorway, still holding on to the wall for security. Nick was ready to catch her if she fell. He knew it was his turn to step out onto the ice. He stepped out and had one foot on the ice and was about to set the other down when his foot slipped out from under him. He landed right on his butt. Natalie almost fell as she nearly doubled over with laughter. The look on his face was priceless. She used her grip on the wall to stabilize herself while working to get the laughter under control. As Nick picked himself up, Natalie could tell how much he wanted to leave, but was determined to keep him on the ice with her. He wanted to be anywhere else, and stayed only for her. "I see I found another thing I'm better at," she said, having gotten the laughter down to a giggle. They both knew that laughter was good medicine. It was one of the main reasons why Nick tried again. He hung onto the wall until he got the hang of it. Natalie was skating around him without much trouble. She didn't try anything fancy, not wanting to fall and break something. Within a few minutes, Nick felt confident enough to move away from the wall, towards the outer edge of the main throng of skaters, where the slower skaters were practicing. He was tempted to hold onto Natalie for support. The ice skates felt even stranger than the inline skates had. He couldn't believe people enjoyed balancing on a thin metal blade. He couldn't believe that his vampiric abilities were totally useless here. "Come on Nick, you can't tell me you're not having fun," she teased. She marveled at how normal he made her feel. Maybe it was the fact that they were both outsiders, and by banding together neither was alone. They were insiders in their own exclusive little group. "I'm having more fun than I was a few minutes ago. I think I finally got the hang of it. Shall we venture into the crowd?" "Sure." Nick and Natalie moved into the main throng of skaters looping the rink, some at a rather fast speed. Neither had too much trouble keeping up with the crowd. Natalie and Nick watched the various skaters, taking note of a young hotshot speeding around the rink showing off. They enjoyed watching the more advanced skaters in the center of the ice, the ones who were doing fancy spins, jumps and whatever they felt like doing. About an hour later Nick noticed Natalie was tiring and motioned towards the edge of the rink. He saw her nod in response. They wove their way through the crowd, nearly reaching the edge of the ice, when the young hotshot slammed into them. The hotshot barely kept his balance while Nick and Natalie went down in a tangled heap. "Ow!" Natalie cried out, pain leaping into her left wrist as she fell with most of her weight on it. Nick offered his hand to her, pleased when she took it. His strong, steady support allowed her to climb unsteadily to her feet without using her injured wrist. He wrapped his arm around her waist and escorted her to the edge of the rink, stabilizing her as she stepped off the ice. Once off the ice they headed for the nearest empty bench. No sooner had she sat down, than he tried to squat down in front of her and found himself unceremoniously dumped onto his behind. She giggled despite her pain. He quickly untied and unlaced her skates before she could even attempt it. Her left wrist hurt so badly that she didn't want to move it or even touch it. It was already beginning to swell. "Thanks, Nick." He put her sneakers on for her and tied them, earning him a small, pain filled grin of appreciation. He took off his skates, slipped into his shoes and returned the skates. Natalie touched her wrist, nearly hitting the ceiling as she touched what seemed to be the most tender spot. A wave of nausea hit which she forced back. She continued to gently examine her left wrist, wincing whenever she touched it. She hoped nothing was broken, six weeks of paperwork would drive her crazy. Nick returned with a bag of ice and a couple of paper towels. He handed it to her, not wanting to hurt her by placing it on her injured wrist. She took the bag from him, wrapped one of the paper towels around it, and placed the icepack on her wrist for maximum effect, wincing when it made contact. The pressure of the ice hurt, but at the same time the cold felt good. "This wasn't the way I had planned for things to go." She frowned. "I thought that after this we would go somewhere and have some hot chocolate and relax. Maybe catch a movie or just take another walk through the park." She paused for a moment as if considering things. "We still can do that." "Nat, I think a trip to the ER is first. Then we'll see." "Nick, I don't want to spend all evening waiting for them to tell me I just sprained it." His look told her that he wasn't buying her excuse. "I don't think anything's broken. I would be able to tell if it was." "Natalie," He said firmly, before being cut off. "The ice will keep the swelling down. All it needs is an elastic bandage and rest." A large jolt of pain along with another wave of nausea hit as her left arm was bumped. "You're going." Nick said, seeing Natalie jump as the guy bumped into her. "I don't want to." "Don't make me pick you up and take you." "You would too, wouldn't you?" She knew if she continued to fight him, he would carry out his threat. "Okay. Let's go," she said reluctantly, hoping that her being infected with HIV would remain their secret. When Nick and Natalie entered the ER, they were pleased to see they had hit it during a brief lull so they only had to wait a few minutes before being seen. Natalie tossed the melted bag of ice into the nearest trash can. Natalie had a seat on the exam bed. A few minutes later the doctor entered. She nearly hit the ceiling when Dr. Vincent touched the most sensitive spot, and winced when he touched anywhere else in the swollen, discolored area. He suspected there might be a fracture due to the extreme sensitivity, high amount of swelling and the fact that it was already turning yellow, green and purple. Natalie was sent for x-rays. When she and the nurse entered the x-ray room, Natalie was directed to sit on the stool next to the machine and place her wrist on the top of the equipment's flat surface. A lead shield was draped across her midsection and she was asked if she were pregnant. The nurse seemed relieved when Natalie answered "no". The nurse gently manipulated Natalie's wrist so that it was in the proper position for the x-ray, stepped behind the shield and activated the machine. The nurse returned to her patient and changed the position of Natalie's wrist to get another shot. Once that x-ray had been taken, the heavy lead shield was removed from Natalie's midsection, and she was led back to the exam room where Nick was waiting. The nurse handed Natalie an icepack for her wrist before leaving. Natalie applied it. She and Nick talked to pass the time. Nick could see how uneasy she was and tried to keep her mind occupied. About thirty minutes later the x-rays came back, showing no fracture, not even a hairline one. The nurse applied a splint to Natalie's wrist which would keep it immobile as it healed. Natalie winced as the nurse fastened the splint, due to the pressure against her very sore wrist. Natalie was grateful that she hadn't cut herself or that no bloodwork had been necessary. "Dr. Lambert, your wrist seems to be badly sprained. You need to leave the splint on for the next three or four days. Then you can replace the splint with an elastic bandage." Dr. Vincent said. "Keep it elevated for the next twenty-four hours. Keep ice on it for the next twenty-four to forty- eight hours. I'm sure you know that drill. I'll give you a couple of Tylenol to ease the pain. Take a couple as you normally would for the next few days." "Okay, thanks." "If your wrist gets worse, I want to see you back here." Dr. Vincent knew that every now and then an injury was more serious than it appeared to be. Since she was a doctor, he didn't have to spell out the symptoms she'd display in that case. "She'll be back," Nick said. The nurse tried to get Natalie's injured wrist into a sling, but she refused. Nick knew that if she didn't want it, he couldn't change her mind, at least not without a fight. He didn't want to fight with her, so he let it go. He reminded himself that she was a doctor and a big girl. She knew what she was doing. Once Nick and Natalie were back in the car, Natalie could see the guilt written all over Nick's face. "It's not your fault. Besides, I'll be fine in a week, two tops. The splint is just to help it heal faster, that's all. The less it's moved, the faster it will heal. I've had worse injuries before." "But when we fell we got all tangled up. Maybe if that hadn't happened, you wouldn't be hurt. Will this affect your fighting the disease?" "No. It won't have any effect on that fight. Did you ever think that maybe our getting tangled up prevented me from getting hurt worse?" Off his confused look she continued, "Maybe if you hadn't been there I might have broken my wrist or maybe even my arm. Besides, if you don't lighten up we will be going back to the ER, and I won't be the patient." "I'll try." He got her message. "Besides it will look strange for you to be too worried over a rather minor injury." "What about work?" "Well, the criminals are behaving themselves due to the cold, so maybe I won't be busy for the next few days. If not, then someone else can handle the autopsies until my wrist feels better. At least it's not my writing hand." "Why don't you take some time off?" "No. I need to work. If I didn't, I'd go nuts." She had considered taking some time off, but knew she would need her accumulated time later when she began to get sick. She also knew that she would be bored staying home knowing she had chores to do, but wouldn't be able to do many of them. Besides, she wouldn't be in the mood for cleaning anyway. "The old saying is true. Doctors are the worst patients," Nick grinned. She playfully smacked him in the arm. They went back to the loft where he prepared her a mug of hot chocolate with lots of mini marshmallows, just the way she liked it. He fixed an icepack for her wrist. They popped in a movie and cuddled up together. Later when she fell asleep, he stretched her out on the couch, propped her splinted wrist up on a pillow, and covered her with a blanket. He brushed her hair out of her face being careful not to wake her and gently kissed her on the forehead before heading up to bed. Late that afternoon when Natalie awoke, Nick drove her back to her apartment. He offered to wait and drive her into work, but she refused, stating she could drive herself. The very first thing Natalie did was to take her medication and a couple of Tylenol. Then she stripped off her clothes, removed the elastic bandage and splint, turned on the shower, giving her wrist a quick examination while she waited for the water to warm up. It was about the same as the night before, the bruising was a bit more colorful, but that was to be expected. Natalie didn't realize how much harder everything was to do one handed. As soon as she finished in the shower and had dried off, she put the splint and elastic bandage back in place. She slipped into a silk blouse, her blazer and a pair of pants because they were the simplest things she could find. This way she could get away without wearing her pantyhose. She slipped into her low pumps, grabbed her purse and headed out the door. She decided she'd grab something to eat on the way in. It would be easier than trying to fix something. Grace entered Natalie's office shortly after the ME had arrived and saw Natalie working on a report. She also saw the icepack and splint on her friend's wrist. "Natalie, honey, what did you do to yourself?" Grace asked, concerned. "Nick and I went ice skating. You should've been there. As soon as he got onto the ice, he fell on his butt." She smiled at the memory. "We had been skating for about an hour and were heading for the edge of the rink when some young hotshot plowed into us. Of course he didn't fall. Nick and I wound up in a tangled heap. I sprained my wrist as a result." She saw the disbelieving look Grace gave her. "We went to the ER and had it x-rayed. The doctor said that it was badly sprained and would be fine in a week or two. The splint is to help it heal faster." "Uh, huh." Grace changed the subject. "So what made you decide to go ice skating?" "I don't know. I used to enjoy it when I was little. I guess I just felt like it." Later in the shift Nick and Schanke dropped by to pick up a few reports. "Hi, Natalie. What happened to your wrist?" Schanke asked, concerned. Natalie told him, leaving out the little detail of Nick's entrance onto the ice. "I'm glad to hear it isn't serious. Be careful. We're not as young as we used to be." "Thanks. I will try. What did you guys drop by for?" "The Porter and Lord cases. Have you finished the reports?" "I was working on them right before you came in. I have the Porter report done, and if you can wait about five minutes, I'll have the Lord report finished. "No problem," Schanke said. "So, Nick, whatever possessed you to go ice skating?" "It was Nat's idea. It was fun, until the mishap." "Natalie, did he take good care of you afterwards?" Schanke asked with a mischievous hint to it. "Yes, he did," she said. The quick look between Nick and Natalie and their small grins told Schanke all he needed to know. Natalie was glad that Nick was still cooking her dinner every night. She wasn't in the mood to try and fix some for herself one handed. Two afternoons later Natalie threw a birthday party for Nancy. Her splinted wrist hampered her decorating a bit but gave her the chance to drag Grace in to help. Grace and Natalie had fun decorating Natalie's apartment, talking as they worked. From the way Natalie avoided using her injured wrist as much as possible, Grace could tell it was still quite sore. When they finished, they stepped back and examined their work. The decor was lots of balloons with contrasting ribbons and a happy birthday banner. Next they set about putting out the food. They had chips and dip, finger sandwiches, cookies, and of course a birthday cake complete with the proper number of candles. There was soda, tea, and coffee to wash it all down with. Natalie invited Grace to stay and enjoy the party, which Grace did with a little encouragement knowing Natalie might need some assistance. Natalie had to answer the question "what happened" several times during the party. At one point she felt like making an announcement to get it over with all at once. She told her friends the same version she had used for Schanke. Nancy enjoyed all the gifts she received, especially the small crystal vase Natalie gave her. After the gifts had been opened Natalie enjoyed decorating Nancy with the gift bows, according to tradition. Most of the bows found themselves adhering to Nancy's hair with a matching pair attached to her shoulders. After the party was over, Grace stayed behind and helped Natalie clean up. Grace saw the gratitude in Natalie's eyes before her friend's thank you. After Grace left, Natalie's thoughts drifted to her thirtieth birthday party. She remembered her embarrassment when Grace and her fellow co-workers had given her the black teddy for her birthday, then Grace suggested she model it for 'that special someone'. Back then Nick and her were nothing more than friends, so the teddy was wasted. Now she had a lot more to worry about. Being infected with HIV sure puts everything into perspective. The only bigger problem she could think of at the moment was when the HIV became AIDS, and when she eventually would become too sick to do anything but lie in bed and wait for death. A few days later, Natalie arrived home after a long, tiring shift and found her answering machine blinking. Fear ran through her, causing her to wonder She knew she had to listen to the message before her imagination conjured up all sorts of things she'd rather not think about. She reluctantly pressed play. "Natalie, this is Scott Anderson. I'm calling to remind you that the opening of the new pediatric wing is next Friday at three pm. My number's 555- 4453. I look forward to seeing you again." Natalie breathed a sigh of relief as Scott's message played. She smiled remembering Scott. They had been in the same class in med school and were friends. He was a brilliant doctor and had a special gift when it came to dealing with children. They had celebrated his appointment as Head of Pediatrics with a top notch night on the town. She had let him smooth talk her into agreeing to attend the opening. He knew of her fondness for children and used it. Natalie was startled out of her reverie by her doorbell. She opened the door, allowing Nick to enter. She saw the grocery bags in his arms and followed him to the kitchen. It was then she remembered that he was going to cook here tonight so that she wouldn't have to drive home afterwards. She knew the other reason was that he had to work later than she had so it made more sense for him to come here than for her to wait there. Before Natalie knew it, she was picking out which dress to wear to the opening. She chose a simple, yet elegant royal blue cocktail length dress. Once that task was done she slipped into the shower. Her next task was to get her thick mane blow dried and looking as good as possible. After debating whether she should wear her hair loose, pulled back, or up in a bun, Natalie decided to let it cascade over her shoulders. It looked best that way with the dress she had chosen to wear. She was glad her wrist had healed well enough that she only needed the extra support of an elastic bandage when she was shopping or cleaning. She knew that it had healed quickly because she had put ice on it immediately after the injury and had followed the doctor's instructions. She applied her makeup, using a little more than she wore at work. She knew people would give her some scrutiny as she wasn't completely unknown. She had managed to develop a pretty good reputation for herself due to her excellent work as a forensic pathologist for the Toronto police department. Before the HIV she would not have minded the scrutiny, but now it made her nervous. She was always afraid that people would be able to tell. She reminded herself. The fact that the board members would be under even more intense scrutiny helped relieve some of the uneasiness she felt. She slipped on her pantyhose, slip and then finally her dress. She fastened her simple gold necklace and slipped her gold hoop earrings through the holes before giving her hair one final brushing. After stepping into her blue pumps, she examined the full picture in her mirror. She was glad she had left the elastic bandage off, as it did not go with her outfit. Once she was satisfied with how she looked, Natalie grabbed her coat and headed out. Before long she arrived at the hospital and was heading for the ceremony site. Due to the cold weather the ceremony was held in the first floor recreation area, as it was the largest space available in the wing. There was a raised stage with a neutral colored skirt covering its legs at the far end of the room. In the middle of the stage there was a podium with a microphone. Rows of hard folding chairs faced the stage. Some were already occupied. A banner sporting "Congratulations on the new Pediatric Wing" was hung across the wall directly behind the stage. Balloons and streamers tastefully decorated the ceiling and posts of the room. Natalie saw other invitee's there and was glad that she was not the first to arrive, nor the last. She noticed the wealthy society women in their diamonds and expensive, one of a kind, designer dresses. She also noticed those who worked for a living, just as she did. They looked nice in their cocktail dresses or suits, with more subtle jewelry. The men from both groups were decked out in their suits and ties, looking much the same. Across the room, Scott spotted Natalie and headed towards her, a large smile on his face. She saw him and returned the smile. They embraced each other. "Natalie, I'm glad you came," Scott said excited, and a little nervous. "I wouldn't miss your biggest and best achievement yet." "What have you been up to since the last time we saw each other?" "Pretty much the same. I'm still lecturing high school students, trying to explain to them what I do. And hopefully inspiring a few to be a part of the next generation of forensic pathologists. What about you?" "This project has taken up all my spare time. Parts of it were a nightmare, but other's were wonderful. The best part of it is that it will provide a nice comfortable setting for pediatric AIDS patients." Natalie started to panic and quickly slammed the lid on those feelings. She did not want to have to explain her reaction. She wanted to come up with any excuse why she couldn't stay, but knew that not only would it hurt Scott's feelings terribly, but he'd want to know why. He wouldn't settle for a simple explanation. "We'll treat a wide range of pediatric illnesses and injuries, including trauma. We have a state of the art wing. All the professionals here enjoy working with children, and are some of the tops in their fields." "I'm impressed. But then you never were one to do things less than the best." She was glad that he was too excited about his achievement to have noticed her slight panic. "Natalie, is there anyone special in your life?" Scott asked curiously. He was more like a big brother than a potential romantic suitor. "Yes. His name's Nick. He would've come with me, but he had to work tonight." A part of her was glad Nick had to work, yet a part of her wished he were here with her. "He couldn't get the night off? What does he do?" "He's a homicide detective. He and his partner had a few things that couldn't be put off until tomorrow night." "I never could understand how you could be so happy working nights. But, now I can see one of the attractions." Scott grinned. "I like the night. I'm not sure what it is about it that appeals to me." She grinned as she realized that her first sentence could also be taken as a pun. "What?" "His last name is Knight." He grinned, catching the pun as well. "Well, as much as I'd love to spend the whole afternoon talking with you, I really should mingle." "I don't want to monopolize you on your big night." Scott headed over towards a small group of guests. Natalie found a seat out of the way, but near enough that she was still in the midst of things. She knew she was not ready to deal with seeing the pediatric AIDS patients and their parents. She had enough trouble dealing with the fact that she was infected and would die much sooner than she should. She knew she'd do anything to get out of having to stay, and wished she hadn't left her beeper at home. She didn't want to hurt him, or have her secret accidentally leak out. It left her with only one choice, to stay and tough it out. Out of the corner of her eye some movement caught her attention. She turned to face it and saw several children playing and giggling. She estimated that they ranged in age from three to ten. She studied them for a few minutes, watching them act like the kids they were. The older ones were trying to play soccer with a fallen balloon while the younger ones were trying to grab hold of another fallen balloon which kept evading their attempts. Soon, their mothers came and led them away by the hand. Natalie looked around and saw that everyone was finding a seat for the presentation, and did so herself. Her seat was not among the dozen or so chairs that had been set out on stage for the ceremony, but among the audience instead. She was grateful that she did not have to be up there. Once everyone was seated, she noticed that there were families up on stage with Scott. Each adult on stage made a speech, some longer than others. The parents were there to give their support and thanks. They told their stories of how the new wing would help their families. Natalie found these stories much more interesting than the boring speeches by the hospital bigwigs. She enjoyed Scott's speech. Her heart went out to the families, especially those who's children had AIDS. One story really tore at her heart. The parents didn't know they were infected until their son was born. Now they're all battling different stages of the disease. For once Natalie did not mind the fact that her parents and brother were dead, at least she would not break their hearts as she progressed and eventually died. After the ceremony everyone crowded around the main entrance to the new wing for the ribbon cutting ceremony. Scott cut the ribbon and lead the crowd on a tour of the new area. He pointed out the high points as the tour progressed. After the tour, there was a reception. Food and drink was elegantly laid out. A band played softly in the background. Natalie filled her plate and looked for an available table. Scott motioned her over to join him. Moments after she had sat down, a family joined them. Natalie remembered hearing that their six year old daughter was a pediatric AIDS patient. Natalie wished she had some excuse to be anywhere but at the table. She mentally scolded herself, knowing that she of all people should not shy away from them. She decided it was because she wasn't ready to truly face having HIV. The little girl with curly light brown hair was a bit thin for her age, but other than that she showed no outward sign of the disease. Her parents were pretty average looking. The father was about forty with brown hair and seemed to be pretty fit. The mother was maybe a few years younger, with blonde hair and was also pretty fit. There was a definite sadness deep in their eyes, yet there was a joy there too. They knew that time was precious and savored every moment with their daughter. Natalie found she had a hard time feeling as sorry for herself as she had been. She saw the little girl before her, one who would never do the things she had done, go to her first school dance, go to college or fall in love. "Natalie, I'd like you to meet Kevin, Amanda and Christine Parsons. Kevin, Amanda and Christine, I'd like you to meet Dr. Natalie Lambert." "Nice to meet you." They said to each other. "Dr. Lambert, what's your specialty?" Amanda asked. "Natalie, please. I'm a forensic pathologist. I work with the police department." "I've seen your name in the papers a few times," Kevin said. Natalie hoped it wasn't only during that time she'd rather forget. The months that changed her life forever. "Yeah?" "You solved a few tough cases." "I didn't do it all on my own," Natalie said modestly. "I had a lot of help from the homicide detectives." "What's a forensic pathologist?" Christine asked, stumbling over the larger words. "I find out why someone died," Natalie said, trying to put it into words that the youngster could understand, yet not be patronizing. "Do you go out with the police?" Christine asked. "Yes, sometimes. Usually only when there's a dead body at a crime scene. A few times I've helped them because the case needed someone with medical knowledge." "Are you a real doctor?" Christine asked, not knowing exactly how to phrase it. Natalie understood her question. "Yes. I'm a real doctor." She answered with a grin. "Natalie, what did you think of the speeches?" Scott asked, trying to get off the subject of death. "I liked your speech, but then I am a little biased," she grinned. "I thought all the parents' speeches were quite moving. The brass' speeches were a bit dull." "See mom, she thought they were boring too," Christine said, making the adults smile. The next evening, at work, Natalie found a newspaper on her desk, her picture showing. She and Scott had been photographed during one of their chats that evening. Grace entered and saw Natalie examining the paper. "What drew you to the opening? I thought you hated those things more than paperwork." "I do. Scott is an old med school friend. More of a big brother. He talked me into attending before I realized it. It would've hurt him too much if I had backed out." "He's cute. Was there ever anything between the two of you?" Grace said, her tone curiously inquiring. "Nothing romantic. From the start we were friends. One day one of our other friends pointed out that we were like brother and sister. It was nice having a friend I could depend on, without having to worry about romance creeping in and ruining it." "When was the last time you saw him?" "A few months back. That's when he convinced me to attend the opening. I wouldn't have missed it, but I wasn't going to let him know." She grinned. "He probably knew anyway." "Yeah. There were few secrets between us. We knew each other too well." This thought scared Natalie. She knew the last time she'd seen him was after she'd started putting her life back together again, a few weeks after Collins' arrest. Later on that evening Natalie had to drop some files off at the precinct and had to answer the same questions from Schanke and Nick. Schanke observed Nick's reactions, pleased to see no jealousy. Nick actually seemed happy that Natalie had seen an old, male friend of hers. "Natalie, you looked beautiful as usual." Nick commented. "How was it?" He asked genuinely interested. "It was interesting, for the most part. Scott was so proud of his accomplishment. I'm quite proud of him myself," Natalie said beaming. Nick sensed there was more to it, and made a mental note to ask her about it later. He detected the slight sadness in the back of her eyes. Both Nick and Schanke enjoyed watching Natalie's face light up as she talked about Scott. Something about the pediatric AIDS patients Natalie had met at the wing opening had touched her deep inside. So deeply that she was on their floor of the new wing two afternoons later. Natalie looked around a bit nervously. She was still unnerved by being around them, but knew that she could no longer run from her fears. She was HIV positive and had to face it. She and Nick had been avoiding dealing with it because she was symptom- free. She saw the mothers and fathers rocking their sick children to sleep, being as tender and loving as possible. She saw the silent heartbreak in their eyes. She wanted children, but could not knowingly put them through this. She noticed a surprising number of fathers there, actively involved in their children's lives. She saw other children playing with each other. She could tell how sick some of them were. Some of the sicker children, who weren't in bed, were dragging their I.V. poles with them in a way that seemed very natural. They didn't allow the poles to bother them one bit. A very thin, blonde haired little girl about six years old approached Natalie. She wore a t-shirt, leggings and bunny slippers. Natalie noticed a few dark spots on her skin and quickly identified them as the legions from Karposi's syndrome, a cancer that AIDS patients sometimes developed. "Hi. I'm Anna. What's your name?" "Natalie." "Would you like to see my painting?" Asked the eager little girl. "Sure." Natalie followed Anna over to a table. There were three other children there painting. Anna proudly pointed to her picture. "That's very nice. Is that a policeman?" "Yes. That's what I wanted to be when I grew up." Natalie was surprised by the lack of self pity coming from Anna. It was as if she had accepted the fact that she would not live long enough to grow up. She seemed like such a contrast, a child with a very grown up streak in her. There was such optimism and hope coming from her, even with that knowledge. One by one the other children showed Natalie their paintings, each one was different. One little red headed girl had amazing talent. Natalie heard what each child dreamed of doing when they grew up. One wanted to be an astronaut, one a lawyer, and the other wanted to be a fireman. Anna seemed to be the only one of the four that truly knew she would never grow up. They ran off to do some other activity, having finished their picture. Natalie found a little boy over in the corner crying. He was about eight years old with light brown hair. She was drawn to him. "What's wrong?" She asked as she sat down next to him. "I'm scared. I don't want to die," the little boy said through his tears. "What's your name?" "Natalie. What's yours?" "Aaron. Why do I have to die?" Natalie was caught off guard. Her throat seemed to tighten as she fought back tears. "Everyone dies. It's a part of life. Some of us have to go sooner than others." When she saw that wasn't helping she tried another tact. "Maybe the lucky people get to die earlier. Maybe they get to go somewhere really neat. Somewhere where there is no pain, no sickness. Nothing but love and happiness." "Is that what happens in heaven?" Aaron asked, his features brightening slightly. "I believe so. My brother's there, so are my parents." "Who takes care of you when you're sick or just need a hug?" he asked, his tears almost forgotten. "My two best friends do. My other friends help too." "When I die, who will take care of my parents and my sister?" He wiped his face with the bottom of his t-shirt. "They will take care of each other. Your aunts, uncles, grandparents will help take care of them. Their friends will help, too. They will be okay." "Thank you." Aaron said as he gave her a hug. She held him tightly and stroked his fine, baby-like hair. Not wanting to let him go, Natalie gave Aaron a final squeeze and released the fragile, but active youth. "I'm glad I could help." She watched him run off to play with the other children. Scott approached her. "Natalie, that was beautiful. Would you like to help out whenever you can? I'm afraid I can't offer a paycheck or a staff position." "That's okay. I think I'd like that." She felt better about herself than she had when she arrived. "They're so optimistic, even the ones that know they don't have much longer. They're more worried about their family's feelings than their own." "They can be incredibly mature for their age, yet they're still kids. Sometimes we forget that." "We can learn a lot from them," Natalie said, realizing that she had no right feeling sorry for herself when these kids were in worse shape and didn't feel sorry for themselves. She noticed the same lack of self pity in the parents. As Natalie looked around the room she noticed the parents cherishing their time with their children, rather than feeling sorry because they'd lose them soon. There was a deep sadness haunting the eyes of those same parents, but it didn't rule their lives. That evening when Natalie entered Nick's loft for their movie night there was something different about her. Nick was painting and noticed her attitude was somewhat more positive. "Nick, I just had the most amazing afternoon." She said. "I found myself drawn back to the new wing. I spent the afternoon on the pediatric AIDS floor. I was nervous at first. I didn't want to see sick kids suffering. I did see that, but I saw such hope and optimism coming from them, even the terminally ill ones. Many of them were more concerned about how their families would take it, than the fact that they were dying." Nick enjoyed hearing the excitement in her voice as she told him about her visit. But, he could hear some sadness also. "I could never have a child knowing that they would go through all that. I watched the mothers and fathers rocking their sick kids to sleep. The little bundle in their arms was the most important thing in their world. I saw the heartbreak in their eyes, but it didn't affect how they were with their kids. The fathers were as involved with their kids as the mothers were." He loved her more than ever. She still managed to amaze him, time and time again. "Scott saw me helping a little boy overcome his fears of dying and leaving his family alone and was impressed. He offered me a volunteer position. I told him I'd take it. Being around him and the children made me feel better about myself." "I'm glad it helped. I think you'll make a great volunteer. You're good with kids." The next afternoon Natalie returned to the pediatric AIDS floor. She had a few hours before her shift. One of the first people she saw was a young girl sketching a mother rocking her child nearby. Looking at the girl more closely, she estimated her age to be around fifteen. She knew that was a tough age, especially when one is seriously ill. "That's very good," Natalie said as she approached. She saw the teen blush. "Thanks. I'm Katie. I'm sort of the senior resident here." "I'm Natalie. I'm sort of the new volunteer here." "The one who's an old friend of Dr. Scott's?" "That's me. Why?" "Just curious." Katie said with a grin. "We're just friends. He's like an older brother." Natalie caught the subtleness of Katie's response. "Does everyone call him Dr. Scott?" "Yeah. He likes to make his patients more comfortable. It's easier for the younger ones to pronounce." "What drew you to sketching?" "When you have full blown AIDS you don't have much energy, so it was either that, reading or watching TV. I found I was pretty good at it. It also gives me a chance to be around others." Natalie was surprised by Katie's openness. "What do you do with your sketches?" Natalie asked needing to get her mind off what Katie said. She wasn't ready to accept that the teenager before her was dying. "Sometimes I keep them, but mostly I give them away. Once in a while someone gives me a few dollars to make a sketch for them. At least this way I'll be remembered. I usually use the money to go to the movies with my friends, when I feel up to it. The few friends that weren't scared off, or were allowed to see me." "When you said resident... do you live here?" Natalie asked curiously. "It seems that way. I spend most of my time here. My parents both have demanding careers, and I have other siblings. I don't mind. I can come and go as I wish. I just have to check with one of the doctors first. I go to school when I feel well enough to. I usually spend the weekends at home, when I'm not sick. I figure it's like going off to camp or college. I'm trying to live one more year so I can get my diploma. I used to want to go to college, be part of NASA. Now, I just want to graduate high school. If I'm still alive, I'll apply to college." Katie realized she was rambling. "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize. I found it interesting." Natalie realized that Katie was going to graduate at sixteen. "I didn't graduate until I was eighteen. You must be pretty smart." "I've had a lot of time to read. My teachers have been great. They allow me to progress at my own speed, rather than having to wait for the rest of the class. I don't know if I'm all that smart, just determined. Some of them have given up afternoons and an occasional Saturday to help me. They say I inspire them and remind them what they got into teaching for, to help students learn." "I'd say that was pretty impressive. Not many fifteen year olds have that sort of determination. I hope you succeed." "Thanks." Katie finished her sketch, signed it and excused herself. She headed over to her subject and handed the sketch to her. Natalie saw the mother embrace Katie. Katie returned with a great big smile. "That's another reason I do it. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a forensic pathologist." Katie laughed. "I think you're a little early. And on the wrong floor." Natalie smiled. "I see someone else has as dark a sense of humor as I do. You did ask." She saw Katie grin. "What made you chose that field?" Katie started sketching again, changing her position slightly. "I don't know. I love a good challenge. In med school I didn't have a very good bedside manner." "What's it like working with stiffs all day?" "Actually, I work with them all night. It's interesting, except for the paperwork. That could bore a person to death. Each body is a mystery waiting to be solved. I use a mixture of investigation, low tech and high tech means to help the police solve their cases. I have access to the latest technology. You can learn a lot about a person from examining something as simple as a piece of hair under a microscope." "That sounds fascinating." Katie said before asking something she'd been wondering ever since she saw Natalie with Aaron. "What brought you here?" "I don't know. I was drawn to the place yesterday. After spending the afternoon here I felt better about myself." She didn't know why she was being so honest with Katie, but it seemed so natural. Katie knew she might offend Natalie with her next questions, but she had to know. "Can I ask you something really personal?" "Sure." Natalie had a hunch what Katie was going to ask. "Do you have it?" Natalie felt like someone had just kicked her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. "Yes, I'm HIV positive. I was diagnosed earlier this year. How did you know?" Natalie felt a great sense of relief. She had told someone and survived. Katie had not run away from her, but had actually helped her admit it. "I don't really know. I think it was seeing you here yesterday and again today. How you quickly lost your initial uneasiness. How you're not repulsed by this place, and by us. How helping Aaron made you feel better. The sadness hidden deep within your eyes." She saw Natalie start to panic. "Don't worry, only someone with it would recognize it. I noticed you were rather nervous during the opening. I take it very few people, if any, know? Don't worry, I won't say anything." "Thank you. I'm sorry, but I didn't see you there." "I wasn't actually at the ceremony, but I was watching. I like seeing everyone dressed up. You looked great." "Thanks. One of my best friends is the only one that knows. I needed someone to talk to..." "If you ever need someone else..." "Thank you. I'll probably take you up on that one day soon," Natalie said. She still couldn't believe the spunk and optimism Katie had. She was dying and had accepted it. Not only that, she was determined to enjoy what time she had left. She saw Katie smile. "Telling that first person is hard, isn't it?" Katie said remembering how hard it had been for both her and her family. "Yes. I didn't want anyone else to know, yet telling you seemed so natural." Natalie no longer felt sorry for herself, but was determined to be more like Katie, to make the most of her life. Natalie caught a glimpse of the time and realized that if she didn't leave she'd be late to work. "I have to leave. Work beckons." "Can you wait one more minute?" Katie asked, not quite pleading. "Sure." Katie quickly finished her sketch, checked it over to make sure she was satisfied with it and signed it. "This is for you." Katie showed Natalie the drawing. "Your face just cried out to be sketched." She loved the surprised smile that spread across Natalie's face. "This is beautiful," Natalie said stunned. "You have real talent." "Thanks." Katie blushed. "I'm glad you like it." As Natalie did her Christmas shopping, she found herself wondering how many more years she would be able to shop for presents. How many more years before she would be too sick to care if it was Christmas. Christmas had always been her favorite holiday. Natalie thought about Katie and how sick she was. Natalie knew she was lucky, compared to Katie and the other children she'd spent time with. At least she was still healthy. These thoughts perked her up, especially when she remembered their optimism. Natalie was glad that her wrist was pretty much healed. She had seen the relief on Nick's face as it healed. Shopping was one of the few times she still wore the elastic bandage, as her wrist was still a little tender when overused. Both Nick and Natalie wanted to find the perfect gift for the other, but didn't know what that was. She knew he had almost everything he wanted or needed, at least materially. Nick's eyes showed his determination to make this Christmas the best one ever for Natalie as he looked for the perfect tree. He had many of the same thoughts as she about how long she might remain well. Nick dug around in his crates down in the basement and found several boxes of trinkets from his past. He knew they had never, originally, been intended for use as Christmas tree ornaments, but, with a little creativity, they would make lovely decorations. He also found some modern ornaments Natalie had given him over the years to decorate his tree. Nick carefully set the last box he had retrieved from the basement on the floor of his loft then left to find a tree. Nick bought the biggest tree he could find and had just finished setting it into its stand, when Natalie arrived. He saw her surprised look at all the variously sized boxes littering the floor near the tree. "How about helping me decorate this huge thing?" Nick asked. "Sure." She tried to find the box containing the lights. "Do you remember where we put the lights? We're not going to have nearly enough." "I don't know about that?" Nick grinned and pulled a plastic bag from the far end of the couch. "I figured we might need a few more strings." He handed them to her, having to bend down to where she was comfortably seated on his floor. She smiled as she unpacked the new ones so they could be added to the older ones. A moment later she found the requested box at her feet. She opened it and frowned at the tangled mess within. Not wanting to deal with it she handed the box to Nick. "These need to be untangled. Carefully." Nick took the mass of lights and sat down on the floor near her and stared at the blob, hoping to figure out where to start. He found what looked like a good starting place and began untangling the lights. She smiled at the intense look of concentration on his face as he slowly made progress with the mess before him. Natalie checked the new light strings first, then the older ones as they were untangled and handed to her. She was careful to place each set in its own neat little pile so they wouldn't become tangled again. A curious, confused look on Nick's face made her grin. She loved how he could look very much like a little boy sometimes. It always surprised her how he could be so old yet get so young at times. "Nat, why are you checking the lights?" "I for one don't want to string the tree and then find out the lights don't work." "Good point." Natalie handed Nick one end of the first string of lights, instructing him on how to wrap them around the tree. They kept this up until they had gone as far as they could reach. She had just picked up another string of lights and was about to ask how they were going to do the rest of the tree when he slipped his arms around her and held her securely. Before she could blink, she was floating above the floor, her heart beating a little faster than normal. He had taken her completely by surprise, bringing a grin to his face. It was slightly disorienting at first, but she quickly discovered she liked hovering and floating while being securely held in his arms. He had expected a protest from her, but received none. In fact she seemed to be enjoying his little surprise. He loved being able to give her that little gift. She wrapped the light set around the tree, instructing him which way to move next. He would set her down only long enough for her to grab the next set. Before long they had all the lights strung on the tree. Natalie looked through the boxes Nick had brought up, finding the contents both fascinating and beautiful. She prodded him for the stories behind each fragile ornament as they hung it. She loved hearing each story as much as he enjoyed telling them. About half an hour later they had finished decorating the bottom third of the tree, as far as they could reach. She hoped he would again assist her as they decorated the top two thirds of the tree, and wasn't disappointed. Neither could believe the enjoyment they both received from this simple gesture on his part. He allowed her to do most of the decorating, offering a suggestion here and there so that each ornament would be hung in the perfect spot. About an hour later they had finished decorating the rest of the tree. She grinned as he flew them across the room so they could see the entire tree at once. She was surprised by her own reaction, knowing that normally she would've scolded him for using his powers, but somehow she couldn't do it this time. Maybe it was because he'd done it as a gesture of love. The grin he saw on her face and the slight rise in her heart rate showed him that she loved this surprise as well. The fact that she hadn't objected or scolded him meant that she had accepted it in the loving spirit it had been given, which made him feel great. Once the tree had been decorated, the aerial view checked out, she had him put her down so they could plug in the tree to see how well they had done lighting the tree. After she plugged in the tree, she walked back across the room to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. She found his arm wrapping itself around her shoulders. They admired their tree, glancing at each other from time to time, gauging their reactions to their efforts. "I'd say we did a pretty good job," Natalie said. "I'd have to agree." "How about we add the finishing touches?" She asked. "A few decorations around the loft would help make it cheerier." "What did you have in mind?" She once again looked through his boxes, handing him items from time to time. When she had found all she thought would be useful, she began to hang the various decorations throughout the loft, asking his opinion as she went. Before long they'd finished and examined their handy work from both the main doorway and the living room area. They were pleased with the tasteful arrangement of holiday cheer. A large wreath hung on the railing where the first landing was. Two embroidered Christmas stockings had been hung from the mantle, one with each of their names stitched across the front near the top. The next evening as soon as the sun had set they headed out to search for the perfect tree for her apartment. Because her ceilings were of regular height, they picked a much smaller tree. As soon as they had set the tree up in her apartment Nick excused himself for a moment, returning with a wrapped box in his hand. He handed it to Natalie. She set the box down on the nearest solid surface and opened it. Inside were some of Nick's best ornaments, their age and intricate beauty leaving her momentarily speechless. "Nat, I want you to keep these." "Thank you. They're beautiful." Again she asked him their history and he gladly told her. Nick helped her check out the lights before stringing the tree. Once that was done they set about decorating it. As they decorated her tree, he asked her about her older ornaments and delighted as much in hearing her stories as she did in telling them. "What about this one?" Nick asked as he lifted up a small ceramic star which had lost some of its glitter over the years. "This one was bought when I was born. My parents decided that they would buy an ornament when each child was born." She picked up a little ceramic boy and sadness momentarily clouded her eyes. "This one was bought when Richie was born." "What about this one?" Nick asked as she placed a miniature book on the tree. "This was bought when I started school. Our folks had expanded the tradition to include major milestones in our lives." The next one she selected had obviously been made by a child. He wasn't sure what it was supposed to be. "I made that in first grade." She hung the clay star on the tree with pride. It was a bit lopsided and barely resembled a star. Nick found a tree which had been cut out of paper, the green had faded a bit over the years. In the center was a picture of a young girl with curly brown hair, big blue eyes and that same smile that melted his cool vampiric heart. "You were cute." He grinned as he held the paper tree in his hand. "We used school pictures to make ornaments for our mothers. I was about eight when that was taken." She grinned as she looked at the paper ornament. "Why don't you pick a spot for that one." Nick studied the Christmas tree for a moment and found the perfect spot to hang the paper tree. Before long she pulled out the ornament that marked her beginning junior high while he carefully removed the high school ornament. "Let me guess, graduation?" Nick said as he held a little girl in a graduation cap." "Yes. My dad bought that one. My mom died a few days after my high school graduation. They discovered she had ovarian cancer too late to save her. They hadn't expected her to live to see me graduate. She did and somehow made it to the ceremony. She was in incredible pain, and yet she was there to see her baby girl graduate." Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I never meant for this to be so painful. You don't have to continue." He said as he wrapped his arms around her. He hadn't meant to make her sad, and was glad he was there with her while she faced these memories. She seemed glad too. Moments later she left his embrace to continue decorating the tree. He gently wiped a single tear from her cheek with his thumb "I like doing this. Some of it is painful, but a lot of it is happy. Like this one. Dad bought it the day I was accepted to college." She picked up a small plastic book. "And this one he bought upon my graduation." She picked up a brown haired girl in a cap and gown. "Dad bought me this one when I was accepted to medical school. He was so pleased," she said as she picked up a star which had a lab coat painted on it. Her eyes became sad again. "He was killed in a car crash during my senior year. Richie bought me the little doctor when I graduated." This time she wiped away the tear that ran down her cheek. "Was he the last of your family?" "Yes. Outside of Sarah and Amy there are no more of us." She frowned. She knew her sister-in-law and niece must miss Richard as much as she still did. "You won't be forgotten as long as I'm alive. Your family and your stories will live on through me." Natalie smiled knowing she would be remembered. A depression settled in as the thought of not having any family of her own to remember her, no children of her own, crossed her mind. The same thoughts made her a little afraid. "What about this ornament?" Nick asked as he picked up a little angel. He was surprised to see her tense slightly. "My grandmother gave me that one. I loved her, yet I hated what she did to me." A brief flicker of anger crossed her face. "What did she do?" He saw resentment and love in her eyes. Natalie grew silent, looking away, unsure if she wanted to tell Nick about this dark chapter of her childhood. One she worked hard to forget about. It was the concern she saw in his eyes that convinced her to tell her story. "When I was little, Richie and I used to go stay with Nana when our parents had to go out of town. She used to hit me when I made typical kid mistakes and messes." Natalie couldn't look Nick in the face as she told the story, choosing a floorboard to examine instead. Nick placed his thumb under her chin and tilted her face up so they were eye to eye. He saw a flash of anger in her eyes. Natalie wanted to see his reaction, yet she was afraid to look into his eyes. Reluctantly she did, seeing love and a hint of anger. She knew it wasn't directed at her but at her nana. "I always resented that. It got so I hated to go over there as I never knew when she would hurt me and when she wouldn't. When she didn't hurt me we had a great time. I loved those times. We would make cookies together and talk." A bittersweet smile spread across her face as she reminisced. "It sounds like she loved you, but her idea of discipline was harsher than most people's. Were you as spirited back then as you are now?" He grinned. "Yes." "Maybe she didn't know how to handle you." Nick knew all too well the sort of scars abuse could leave behind. A part of him wanted to hurt nana as much as she had hurt Natalie. "All I ever wanted to know was why. She died before I could ask her. By the time I was a teen she was sick and dying. I resented her too much to go see her, yet I still loved her because she was my nana. I wanted to hear her say she was sorry for hurting me, and mean it. I wanted to hear her say she loved me." He embraced her, glad she had been able to overcome the effects of her Nana's harsh discipline. That it had not prevented her from being the warm, giving woman he loved. His arms around her felt great, just what she needed. She returned the embrace, breaking it off after a few moments. She wiped away a stray tear with her fingers. Next, she added the ornaments Nick gave her earlier to the tree, making sure that each one had a special spot. Before long they discovered that her tree was finished. She plugged it in and they stepped back to admire it. Next they decorated her apartment making it quite festive, but not overdone. Talking about her past with him had brought them closer together, as sharing his past with her had done. This year they had been through so much together which had forged a new, stronger bond between them. Neither seemed to feel the aloneness and depression that they had sometimes felt during past holiday seasons. They had each found that special person with whom to share their lives. Natalie's friends all noticed a positive change in her. Nick noticed the most change. Natalie didn't feel sorry for herself as she had previously. Nick hadn't blamed Natalie for feeling that way, knowing he would've felt the same it were him. He was glad to see that she had moved past that into what seemed to be acceptance, yet she had the same fighting spirit in her eyes as always. Natalie was at Eton Center shopping for a gift for Jenny, one for Katie, and some for Amy. Natalie enjoyed doing it, yet it made her sad at the same time. Thanks to Collins she would never have any children of her own. She would not risk infecting an innocent child. She had never decided whether or not she had wanted to have children, but the option had always been there, now it wasn't. Seeing all the mothers shopping with their children hurt. A part of her wished she could be one of them, but she knew that was impossible. Thoughts of adoption crossed her mind and were quickly dismissed. She couldn't adopt a child when she knew she would die before the child was in high school. She could not knowingly put any child through losing another parent, especially after they'd already lost their birth parents. Natalie thought as she observed life around her. She knew that every parent with a child on the pediatric AIDS ward wished that their children could be as healthy as those in the mall. That their lives would be that simple once again. Natalie wondered as she continued to watch those around her. On her next day off, Natalie found her self with the sick children at the hospital once more. She didn't have any plans for that evening, so she thought she'd see if she could help out. While she consoled children, time passed quickly. Natalie hadn't even noticed that evening had arrived. Nick arrived at the hospital shortly after the sun had set, knowing he'd most likely find Natalie there. When he walked into the play area, he watched as Natalie read to a little girl. The small child's mop of black hair swayed back and forth as they rocked. Nick smiled as he stared in wonderment knowing that Natalie would have made a wonderful mother; she was a natural with kids. A pang of sadness hit him because she would never become a mother. Anger hit as well, but not aimed at her. It was aimed directly at Collins. Katie was busy sketching the various people and noticed Nick's arrival. She found herself hoping he'd stay long enough for her to sketch him. Katie thought to herself. A little girl wandered over to Nick. "Hi. I'm Lucy. What's your name?" Nick smiled at the tiny blonde before him. He squatted down to be at her eye level. "Hi. I'm Nick." "Do you want to see my picture?" "Sure." Kids scared him, yet at the same time they filled him with amazement. They were so little, joyous, generous and trusting. Nick followed the little girl over to a table where she had drawn a picture of her family. "This is my mommy, my daddy, and my brother." The blonde five year old said as she pointed to the three figures standing next to a house. "This is me," she said as she pointed to the figure up in the clouds. "I will be able to see them. I won't be sick anymore. They won't hurt as much." Nick was stunned. Here was a cheerful little person who knew she was dying yet had accepted it. She seemed way too mature for her years. Lucy wandered off to find something else that interested her. Nick looked around seeing the same things Natalie had described to him. He saw one very sick little boy of approximately four years old being rocked by his mother. In her eyes he saw such love and pain. Nick wondered. He didn't want to be caught staring so he continued looking around the room. He saw Natalie working her magic on the little one in her arms. Natalie had been too wrapped up to notice Nick's arrival. Moments later, the child hugged Natalie and scampered off to join the others. Natalie stood and looked around, surprised to see Nick. She headed for him. "Nick, what are you doing here?" She asked lightheartedly. "I thought I'd see what keeps you coming back here." "How'd you know I'd be here?" "I had a strong hunch I'd find you here." "I have someone I want you to meet. Remember the sketch I gave you?" "Yes. It was absolutely stunning." They walked over to where Katie was working. She smiled as she saw them approach. "Katie, I'd like you to meet Nick. Nick, Katie did the sketch." "It's nice to meet you. Your sketch was beautiful. It captured her perfectly," Nick smiled. Katie blushed. She loved the praise. "Thank you. You two make a great looking couple." Natalie blushed slightly. "Katie, I hope you don't mind, but I gave Nick the sketch you did. I didn't have a place to hang it, but he did." Now it was Katie's turn to blush, again. "You hung it on your wall?" She was a bit surprised, but most definitely pleased. "Yes. I hung it so I could see it from all over my loft." Nick loved the huge smile that crossed Katie's face. Her eyes were twinkling with delight. He thought she might bounce up and down, if it had been dignified for a fifteen year old to do so. Natalie saw Aaron pointing to her and talking to the woman next to him. She excused herself and approached Aaron. "Hi Aaron, how are you today?" "I'm much better. This is my mom." Aaron said as he headed off to play. "Hi, I'm Natalie." "I'm Belinda. Thank you for helping Aaron the other day. We thought he had accepted it, but we caught him crying a few times, wanting to know why he had to die, and who'd look after us. He wouldn't talk to the professionals here." "I'm glad I could help. He's a very sweet child," Natalie said. "I know. He seems as concerned about us as we are about him. He keeps surprising us." "I find all the kids here amazing." "They are amazing. They encourage each other, and offer sympathy when needed. They don't limit themselves to each other. I've seen them all, even the youngest ones, try to comfort us adults. They try to keep our spirits high." Aaron returned to tug his mother away. She happily went with him. Natalie wandered back over to Nick. She found the mixture of emotions in his eyes to be quite interesting. She saw sadness, happiness and confusion there. Katie approached Nick and Natalie, a newly finished sketch in her hands. "Here." She handed the sketch to Natalie. Nick and Natalie were stunned by what they saw. It was the two of them. They could see the love between them jumping out of the picture. "This is gorgeous. Thank you." They both stammered, overwhelmed by the depth of the sketch. Nick pulled five twenties out of his pocket and handed them to Katie. He loved the stunned look on her face. "I can't take it. No one's ever given me this much before." "We insist." Nick said. When she refused to accept it he asked, "is there anything you'd like instead?" "A new sketchpad?" "Okay." "If you'll excuse me, I need some sleep," Katie said, looking exhausted. "Good night. Sleep well." Nick and Natalie left, noticing that many people around them were falling asleep. Children and parents were asleep in the same beds, the children asleep in their parents arms, and the parents beginning to doze off themselves. During the drive back to his loft, Nick looked at Natalie, once again amazed by her. Here she was fighting the same disease yet instead of backing off from the kids, she seemed drawn to them. "I see why you like going there. I couldn't help but wonder which of us had it worse? Which of us were the truly cursed?" Natalie turned to look at him, caught off guard by his comments. She smiled one of her warmest smiles at him. The next evening Nick and Natalie arrived at the pediatric AIDS ward and saw Katie again busy sketching away. They headed for her, Nick carrying a good sized, festively wrapped box. Katie took the box and set it down on the nearest table. She eagerly unwrapped it and lifted off the lid. Inside were various sketch pads, and an assortment of pencils. She was overwhelmed. A huge smile lit up her face, reaching all the way up to her eyes which sparkled with delight. "Thank you. You didn't have to." "It was the least we could do. " Nick said. "I have another sketch for you guys." Katie retrieved the sketch from her book and handed it to Nick. Natalie looked over his shoulder. "I think you captured him perfectly," Natalie said, still amazed at Katie's talent. "Would you mind if I gave it to Natalie?" Nick asked. "Not at all." "I have a spot in my living room that needs a different picture and this will go perfectly." A few days later, Natalie had a baby shower to attend for an old college friend of hers. She was surprised when she felt sad during the party because she would never have children of her own. She pushed her feelings aside. It was a party, and she didn't want to spoil it for Helene. She enjoyed seeing her old friends again. She had lost contact with some of them. She was glad her wrist had fully healed so she didn't have to answer the "what happened" question any more. It had become tiresome after about the twentieth time. Natalie and Nick were doing the last of their Christmas shopping when they both saw the line of kids waiting to talk to Santa. Natalie turned to Nick, excitement sparkling in her eyes and radiating from her entire body. "I want to get something special for Katie and the other kids. It's awful to be in the hospital over Christmas." "What do you want to get?" Nick loved seeing the childlike glee coming from the woman he loved. "I don't know. I heard that Katie wants a notebook computer, and maybe a computer for the ward? How about a few video games? Can we do this anonymously?" "I think it's a wonderful idea! Make a list of what you want and I'll have it delivered as a gift from the deBrabant Foundation. Okay?" Natalie's smile got brighter as he agreed. Her love for Nick grew more and more each day. Both the Coroner's Office and the precinct threw their annual Christmas parties. Natalie and Grace exchanged small presents. Natalie had given Grace a mug with an angel on it, for always being there for her. Grace had given Natalie a candy jar in the shape of a skull complete with chocolates for Natalie to keep on her desk. Natalie had delighted in the morbid humor. Nick had arranged for a Christmas Eve movie to be shown to the children in the Pediatric AIDS ward. It was to be shown outside the ward, so that while the movie was being shown, the presents could be delivered to the recreation room and piled around the tree without spoiling the surprise. Nick wanted to be there to see this, so he rode in the trunk all the way to the hospital parking garage. The room with the tree had no windows, so he was safe. There was just over an hour left until sunset. Nick and Natalie were adding the final touches when they heard the sound of children's voices and the patter of little feet. Natalie and Nick loved the surprised looks, smiles and giggles the mound of brightly wrapped packages brought out in the sick little children. The kids started bouncing around excitedly. Things did not calm down when Santa entered, in fact the kids grew even more excited and animated. Nick and Natalie helped Santa pass out the gifts. They had tried to pick out something each child wanted, but the parents couldn't afford. Nick and Natalie felt great seeing all the happy faces, just the way it was supposed to be at Christmas time. Even the sickest little faces brightened up. The parents looked happy as well, both because their child was having a great time and because they were getting a gift they truly wanted. Katie was stunned to find a top of the line laptop computer of her very own inside her package, complete with a very nice bundle of software. Aaron was delighted to have his very own video game system along with several games for it. The presents around the tree contained two brand new top of the line computers with a large collection of CD ROM's, a video game system with game cartridges, and several smaller hand held video game units complete with a selection of game cartridges. Nick noticed the clock and nudged Natalie. She saw that they had to leave or they'd be late to the Schanke's, where they had been invited to spend Christmas Eve. In the car Natalie looked at Nick, seeing a peaceful happiness there. He glanced over at her seeing a serenely delighted look. She saw him watching her and gave him one of her warmest smiles, seeing a matching smile spread across his lips. "Thank you." "It was nothing." "You made a lot of seriously ill children extremely happy. Not a lot of people would've done that." "It wasn't all my idea, if you remember?" "I know. But, without your help it would still be only an idea," Natalie said. "Thanks to you I was able to give Katie a truly exceptional gift, rather than some small gift I would've picked out." Nick and Natalie arrived at the Schanke residence. With packages in hand, Nick rang the doorbell, and both were welcomed inside with warm embraces. Once their presents and coats had been deposited, they made themselves comfortable on the couch. Myra and Don noticed the great mood their guests were in and were pleased. "Hi Nick, Natalie," Jenny said, excited. "I bet you're looking forward to seeing what Santa's going to bring you," Natalie said, remembering her childhood. "I used to get so excited I had trouble sleeping. My parents used to tell my brother and me that if we weren't asleep when Santa came he wouldn't stop and leave presents. We had to stay in our rooms and be quiet until eight am." "That sounds like what I have to do." "If we didn't set a time she'd be up before the crack of dawn, that is if she went to sleep," Don said, lightly. The sadness again crossed Natalie's features as she was reminded that she would never be a mother. She wondered if Don and Myra knew how lucky they were that Jenny was a perfectly normal, healthy child. "Natalie, are you okay?" Don asked, a little concerned by her sudden mood change. "I'm okay. Having no real family sometimes gets to me around the holidays." "You're a part of our family, Natalie," Don said. "You too, partner." "Enough of this gloominess. Jenny, would you like to open your gift now, if it is okay with your parents," Natalie said. Don saw the eager little face of his daughter looking up at him and couldn't say no. He nodded his approval. Jenny quickly zeroed in on her gift from Natalie and tore open the wrap as quickly as she could. Her face lit up when she saw the doll inside. "Natalie, thank you. It's just what I wanted. How did you know?" "A little elf told me," Natalie said with a smile. "I'm glad you like it." "Why don't you go ahead and open the one from me," Nick said. Jenny quickly found it and ripped open the paper. Inside was an art kit containing paints, colored pencils and markers. Jenny was impressed that it wasn't a children's set, but one for any age. "This is neat, Nick. Thanks." "I'm glad you like it." "Would you two like to open your gifts now? At least the ones from me?" Jenny asked. "Sure," Nick and Natalie said at the same time. Jenny handed them each the gift she had made for them and wrapped all by herself. She was beaming with pride at her accomplishments. Nick and Natalie opened their gifts and were touched by the fact that they were handmade. They both received ceramic pencil holders which had a nice design carved into them before they had been painted. "It's beautiful. Thank you," Natalie said to Jenny. "It's very nice. Thank you," Nick said. Jenny's smile became even larger as they complimented her work. Copious tears began to slide down Natalie's face. She was completely unnerved at how hard being unable to have a child was hitting her. She thought she had accepted that part of her life. She wondered why it was bothering her so much and if spending all that time on the pediatric AIDS ward was part of it. "Natalie, are you sure you're okay?" Myra asked deeply concerned. Nick was worried as well, believing that she had accepted it. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect this reaction. I recently learned that I can't have children. I hadn't really even thought about having any. That's why I'm surprised by my reactions tonight," Natalie knew they expected an answer and would question her until they got the truth out of her. It was a slight manipulation of the truth, but it was the best she could do short of telling the Schankes that she was HIV positive. Nick wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. Don placed his hand on hers in a show of sympathy. "I didn't mean to spoil your evening." Natalie struggled to get her emotions back under control and quickly succeeded. Her tears stopped and she brushed the remaining wetness from her face with her fingertips, accepting a tissue from Myra. Natalie blew her nose then tucked the tissue into her pocket. "You didn't," Myra said, placing her hand on Natalie's to let her friend know she understood. Natalie saw the sadness in Jenny's face. "Hey, Jenny, it's not your fault. Okay? I want to see a smile on that pretty face of yours." Natalie forced a smile onto her face as she spoke. Jenny nodded. "But I remind you of what you can't have." "Yes. But that is okay. I have you for a friend, and that is good enough for me," Natalie said with a grin, this time it was a natural one. She didn't want Jenny to feel it was her fault. She knew that eight year olds sometimes thought such things were their fault. "I'm glad you're my friend, Natalie," Jenny said, happily. "Natalie, any time you have an overwhelming motherly urge, I'm sure Jenny wouldn't mind spending some time with you," Myra said, knowing how hard it must be on Natalie. She remembered when they had had trouble conceiving. "Natalie, I would like that," Jenny said with a smile. She had enjoyed the few occasions they had done things together. "Thank you," Natalie said, feeling lucky to have such terrific friends. Natalie wondered, before being snapped out of her reverie by Myra's voice. "Nick, Natalie, would you like to open your gifts now or after dinner?" "Now would be fine," Nick said, noting the avid curiosity on Jenny's face. Jenny passed out the gifts for her parents from Nick and Natalie and the ones to Nick and Natalie from her parents. Natalie received a beautiful beaded necklace from Don and Myra and thanked them for it. Nick received a red and black plaid scarf and thanked them for their thoughtful gift. Natalie had picked out a silk scarf for Myra and a pair of fine leather gloves for Don. She was pleased when they both seemed to really enjoy their gifts. Nick gave them a pair of tickets to the opera because he remembered Schanke once mentioning that they liked going there. Along with the tickets was an IOU for a night of baby-sitting. Their smiles pleased Nick, showing him that both parts of his gift were appreciated. After exchanging gifts they moved to the dinner table where all but Nick proceeded to stuff themselves with Myra's excellent cooking. Nick did try a few bites of everything Natalie ate, once again surprising everyone at the table. It nauseated Nick, but the smile on Natalie's face, and the surprise on everyone else's was worth it. Shortly homemade Christmas cookies and coffee were served, with milk for Jenny. Natalie excused herself and headed for the powder room as it was time for her next round of medication. She knew she could've explained away one or two pills, but not the handful she had to take several times a day. They soon relocated to the family room and visited for hours. Jenny curled up in a chair and was asleep within minutes. Before they knew it the wee hours of the morning were upon them. Nick and Natalie said their good-nights and headed out. Myra and Don picked up the dirty dishes and carried them into the kitchen. "Don, do you think that Natalie's problem is why they haven't gotten together?" Myra was concerned about her friends. She knew it would be a real shame if Nick and Natalie let that problem keep them apart. She had never seen two people so much in love, and so deserving. They were perfect for each other. "I hope not. Do you want me to see what I can find out?" "Would you, honey?" Don tenderly kissed his wife as they finished cleaning the dishes. Don picked his daughter up and carried her upstairs, being careful not to wake her. Myra was right behind him turning out the downstairs lights they passed. Meanwhile in the Caddy, Nick looked over at Natalie. She was staring out the front window gazing at the stars, a hint of a smile on her face. "Did you have a nice time?" "Yeah. Did you?" She looked over at him, seeing him watching the road ahead of them. "Yes." "I hope I didn't ruin the evening," Natalie said. "You didn't. They understood. Even Jenny did," Nick said, hoping his words were as reassuring as he meant them to be. "I hope you're right. I couldn't tell them. I didn't want to ruin their Christmas." "You didn't." Nick's expression brightened. "Keep this up and you'll be like me," he teased. "We can't have that, now can we?" She responded with the same teasing tone. "Thank you. I do tend to get wrapped up in the negative side. There's so much to think about, worry about, so much that can go wrong." "I know. If you spend all your time thinking about those things you'll wind up as big a mess as I am. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. You can either accept it to a certain degree, or be miserable like I was before I met you." His hand caressed the side of her face, making her momentarily smile. "I know. Sometimes it's so hard to look beyond it all. I wonder if it would be easier if I weren't a doctor? Probably not. Knowing what my future holds is scary, but I refuse to be taken completely by surprise. How do I plan? I have some plans, but will they work out?" "Nat, I'm 800 years old and even I can't fully plan for the future. No one can. Everyone has plans that don't work out, for various reasons." Nick knew it was good for her to be voicing her concerns, but he didn't want her wallowing during her favorite holiday. Changing the subject, Nick asked, "How about a little music?" "Sure. Can I pick the station?" She appreciated his attempts at lightening her mood. Thoughts of the kids at the hospital came to mind making her feel guilty for her indulging her angst side. She turned on the radio, not surprised to find it set to CERK. She quickly turned the radio's knob hoping to find some cheerier Christmas music knowing the Nightcrawler would do nothing to improve either of their moods. She started laughing at the song she found. "Nat, that's sick." He soon found himself laughing at the song as well. "I know," She said, her spirits lifted considerably from earlier. "What are the chances of reindeer running over someone? Especially if they're in a car on the way to visit relatives?" She said lightly. "That's what makes the song so funny." "You have a good point there." Natalie thought to herself, hoping Nick didn't figure out what she was thinking. Soon, they found themselves at Nick's building. Nick pulled the car into the garage and parked. They entered the elevator with their arms wrapped around each other's waist, and waited for it to reach his loft. When the elevator stopped, Natalie opened the door. A moment later, she noticed a sprig of mistletoe hanging just above the opening and smiled. Nick leaned in to kiss Natalie. She was surprised but definitely pleased, and gave in to his tender, passionate kiss. "Would you like to open your gift now?" Nick asked when he released her from their embrace. "Sure. How about you?" "Sure." They were both anxious to see if they had chosen the perfect gift. "Merry Christmas, Nat," Nick said with a smile. "Merry Christmas, Nick," Natalie said, returning the smile. They walked to the tree hand in hand where each picked up a colorfully wrapped gift before heading for the couch. Once seated, they exchanged boxes. "You go first," Nick said. Natalie carefully undid the paper and ribbon from the box. She opened it, pushed aside the tissue paper, pulled the garment from the box and saw it was a leather jacket. Tenderly, she touched the butter soft material. It was the softest black leather she had ever felt. She stood and tried it on. The jacket hung down to just above her knees. It fit like a glove and felt better than anything she had ever owned. "Thank you. It's lovely, and so soft." "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it." She took it off not wanting to soil it and carefully hung it over the chair next to the couch. She motioned for him to open his gift. When he did, Nick discovered a small sculpture which he recognized from her apartment. It was an interesting pyramid design, not an Egyptian pyramid as one would think at first glance. It was glass and had the most unique color combinations as an integral part of the piece. It was beautiful, yet unusual at the same time. There was some engraving on it, but nothing that could be read. "Isn't this your favorite piece?" Nick asked. "I know how much you like it." "Thank you. It's the best gift I've ever received," he said, touched by the gesture. "I'll keep it with me always." He set the sculpture on the coffee table far enough from the edge that it wouldn't accidentally get knocked off. Nick looked at the beautiful woman seated next to him. The woman who had captured his heart and soul like no other woman had before. "Nat, have I told you recently how much I love you?" He gently caressed her cheek. "No. And I love you too." She ran her hand across his cheek, admiring the man that had completely changed her world, showing her all that she had missed. At the same time filling a void in her that she never knew existed. Their lips were drawn together as if by a magnetic force. This time only a man and a woman kissed. Not a vampire detective and a mortal coroner. Just two souls in love. A few days later, it was New Year's Eve. Both Nick and Natalie had to work so they watched the ball fall on her portable television while listening to the celebration. Each held a glass of non-alcoholic grape juice with which to toast the new year. "Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday," Natalie said, knowing that it wasn't Nick's real birthday, but it was the one he celebrated in this life. Worry clouded her emotions as she thought about the new year and the uncertainty it would no doubt bring. "Thanks. Happy New Year." He suspected why she was depressed, even though she tried to hide it. As Natalie sipped her drink her mind wandered. The doctor side of her knew that it could be years before the AIDS virus would even be detected, but the vulnerable human side was terrified of growing very sick and dying. Nick took another sip which went down easier than he thought it would. He was concerned about her, knowing that the new year couldn't help but bring up the fact that at some point she would get sick. The sooner time passed, the sooner she would die. He saw the sadness and depression in her eyes and body language. She saw the concerned look in his eyes and hated that this damn disease caused him so much pain. Natalie began to think. But, through the disease, it had showed her how much he truly cared about her. Later that shift, Natalie decided to throw a party for Nick. She knew that he didn't like big fancy parties, especially those in his honor. She also knew that the sooner she did it the less able he would be to wriggle out of it. Natalie was pleased that both she and Nick had the next night off. She issued the invitations verbally to Schanke and told him to bring Myra along, Grace, who couldn't attend due to a previous commitment and finally she told Nick. Nick didn't want the party but saw how much she wanted to do it and agreed. Also because everyone had already been invited, which he wasn't happy about, but knew it was probably for the best. Natalie stopped by the Raven on her way home to invite Janette. Natalie was pleased when the raven haired vampire said she'd attend, and wondered if she would actually show. The next afternoon, Natalie told Nick that she had to run a few errands before coming over, which was partly true. She had to pick up a few last minute things for his party. She was glad he had a few errands to take care of so she wouldn't have to come up with some excuse to get him out of the loft for a while. Even though he knew about the party, she didn't want him there while she decorated. Natalie made sure he was gone before entering. Once there, she gave the loft a quick once over and started decorating. She discovered that it helped ease the remaining mild depression the new year had brought. Natalie loved being able to get her mind off herself for a while and do something to show Nick how much she appreciated everything he had done for her, not to mention all the wonderful things he still did for her. She wanted him to know how deeply she loved him. After the two dozen balloons with festive ribbons trailing from them were hung along with the birthday banner and the snacks put on the table, Natalie surveyed the room. The loft was quite festive, but the decorations were nowhere near as elegant or elaborate as they had been for her party. Natalie was pleased with how well it had turned out and stretched out on the couch with a magazine, awaiting the arrival of Don and Myra, as well as Nick's return. Nick arrived home a short time later to find Natalie waiting for him. He was surprised by the decorations and smiled. "You did a nice job decorating the place." He still didn't really want a party, but if it made her happy then he'd go along with it. "Nat, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble." "Thanks. I know. I wanted to. Don't worry I didn't invite many people." "When did you plan all this? How did you arrange it all?" He couldn't believe that she'd pulled it off with only a few hours time and effort. "Vampires are not the only sneaky people," she said with a wicked grin. They heard the elevator start. Moments later Schanke entered the loft carrying two gifts. "Natalie, the place looks good. Myra sends her apologies." Schanke noticed Natalie had set out some chips and dip, cheese, cold cut cubes, and store bought cookies. "How's Jenny?" Nick asked. "She's okay. The stitches come out at the end of the week and the cast comes off in about six weeks." "What happened? Why didn't I hear about this?" Natalie asked stunned, wondering how she had missed hearing about Jenny's accident. Schanke was quick to explain. "She was out sledding with some friends. Somehow the sled tipped over and caught her wrist the wrong way. It's a simple fracture. The metal edge of the sled left a gash on her chin that required four stitches. It happened the night before last. I thought I had mentioned it," Schanke said. "Myra freaked when Jenny came home bloody, cradling her wrist and trying not to cry. I helped keep everyone calm and drove them to the ER." Nick and Natalie knew it was more likely that Don had freaked and Myra was the calm one, but they weren't going to contradict him. "I'm glad she's okay. Tell her to get well soon. I remember that happening to me when I was little. Probably pretty close to her age," Natalie said. "What happened?" Nick asked, curious. "I was out sledding with my brother and some of our friends. The sled hit a bump, flipped over and somehow caught my wrist wrong too. I wonder how many kids have had that same problem? I have a small scar under my chin from the sled and four stitches. Neither my parents or Nana wanted to let me go sledding anymore. Finally my dad gave in, knowing that it had been an accident, and a fairly common one according to the doctor." "Nick, did you ever get hurt sledding?" Schanke asked, curiously. "I have a nasty scar on my knee from sledding, but never broke anything. Ten stitches." "Yes. I also broke my wrist when I was about eight or nine. Six stitches under my chin. I couldn't stop and hit a bump the wrong way," Nick said, knowing how much medicine had changed since the thirteenth century, in some ways, but not very much in others. Modern broken bones were treated not all that differently from way back then with the standard treatment being realignment and immobilization. He remembered the pain of his mom sewing up the gash in his chin without the benefit of modern anesthetics. "Happy birthday, partner," Schanke said, feeling a bit guilty about taking the attention away from Nick at his own party. "Thanks, Schank." The elevator door opened admitting Janette, who was decked out in a sleek black dress with every jet black hair in place. "I'm glad you could make it, Janette," Natalie said genuinely. "I couldn't miss Nichola's birthday, now could I?" Her voice carried a slight teasing tone. Schanke smiled at the sight, drawing grins from Nick and Natalie. Schanke didn't know why he found himself drawn to Janette's beauty, but would never cheat on Myra. He loved his wife too much. Nick cleared his throat breaking Schanke's admiration. "Sorry, partner," Schanke said a little embarrassed. Schanke handed Nick his two presents. Nick sat on the couch to open them with Natalie seated near him while Schanke helped himself to the food before taking a seat in the armchair. Janette took the remaining end of the couch as her seat, placing her wrapped gift on the coffee table. Nick was pleased to see that Natalie had not left his vampiric sibling out of the party. He was still surprised that they got along as well as they did, sometimes a little more than he would've liked. "Happy birthday, Nick," Natalie said, suddenly feeling much more in a party mood. Her brightened mood didn't escape Nick's notice. Janette echoed the sentiment. "Nick, how old does this make you?" Schanke asked. "Um, thirty-six," Nick said as he quickly glanced at Natalie for confirmation. She gave a barely noticeable nod. Both Nick and Natalie noticed Janette hiding a small smirk, that showed in her eyes, if you knew where to look. Nick opened the gift from Myra and Don. Inside the box he found a beautiful royal blue shirt in his size. He knew Myra had picked it out. "It's lovely, Schank. Thank Myra would you, please." "Sure. We thought your wardrobe could use some color." Next he opened the one that looked like it had been wrapped by a child. Inside he found a handmade paperweight. It had been decorated with glitter and paint. "Thank Jenny for me too. It's great," Nick said with a smile. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes. He had dreamed that Natalie would cure him and then they would be able to start their own family. Collins had ripped Nick's one dream from him. Natalie didn't want him getting lost in thought, so she handed him her present. Nick opened the gift and found a very stylish aqua blue silk robe wrapped within the box's tissue. Schanke's eyebrows shot up. As did Janette's. "It's not like she's never seen me in my robe before. She did stay here for a couple of weeks." Nick immediately realized he might've triggered memories of the rape's aftermath. He was relieved when Natalie placed her hand on his, reassuring him that she was fine. "I forgot that. So there's nothing..." Schanke wondered. "Only a deep friendship. Sorry, Schank," Natalie said. She wished they could tell everyone of their true feelings, but until he was cured or he brought her across, they couldn't. It would be too complicated. She silently cursed Collins for infecting her. He stole her dream to someday have a family with Nick. She quickly brushed those feelings aside, not wanting to spoil the party. Janette detected those quickly hidden feelings, but decided not to say anything, at least not for the moment. "Nat, it's beautiful. Thank you." The sincerity in his voice was not lost to those around them. "Nicola, here's a little something for you." Janette handed Nick a small box. Nick ripped open the paper, removed the top from the box and was quite surprised to find, resting on the cotton padding, one of his old rings. One which she had refused to return when she had left him almost 350 years go. He slipped the silver ring onto his finger, not surprised that it still fit. After all, vampires did not change that much over the years. "Thanks, Janette." Nick hoped he kept most of the surprise from his face. Natalie detected it and made a mental note to ask him about it later. Schanke and Natalie examined the ring, noting the simple elegance in the design work. There was some engraving which left an old French design around the band. "I must be off. After all, I have a club to attend," Janette said. "Thanks for coming," Nick said. Schanke watched Janette as she said goodbye to Nick, and Natalie, walked to the elevator, and entered. He was a happily married man, yet he couldn't resist watching her. Schanke noticed the subtle glances between Nick and Natalie, as well as the growing quietness of the room and realized they wanted to be alone. He saw the love between Nick and Natalie, knowing their relationship was something more than a deep friendship, but not quite romance. He had noticed some cool embers between Nick and Janette, and hoped they stayed that way. He was surprised by the lack of jealousy from Natalie. "I've gotta go relieve Myra. She has to do a bunch of errands and doesn't want to wake Jenny." "See ya, Schank. Thanks for coming. Tell Myra we missed her," Nick said as Schanke entered the elevator. "See ya, Schank." was all Natalie had time to say before the elevator door closed. Natalie walked over to where she had draped her coat over one of the kitchen chairs and removed a smaller box from its hiding place. She walked back to the couch and handed the box to Nick. "Here's your real present." She smiled at the excitement dancing in his eyes. "You shouldn't have." Nick opened the gift and pulled out a beautiful calligraphic note. She saw the question in his eyes and answered it with a simple nod of her head. It had taken her a few tries as she was a bit out of practice. "Nick, In honor of your birthday I will not make you drink a protein shake or eat for a week. I will also try not to get after you about your diet. Love, Nat." A large smile spread across Nick's face as he read the paper out loud. "I wanted to get you something really special, but I couldn't find anything suitable. I mean, what do you get someone who's 800 years old?" "I like this, just fine." He said as he kissed her. Natalie and Nick both continued to spend time at the pediatric AIDS ward, where they saw that their gifts were greatly appreciated by both the children and the adults. They felt great knowing they'd brightened several lives. The children never failed to make Nick and Natalie feel better. The kids optimism and endless hope, even that of those who knew they did not have much time left, was contagious. Nick and Natalie felt lucky to know their special friends. Natalie was grateful to still be asymptomatic, knowing how sick she could be. Seeing the children only reinforced the fact that time was a precious gift, one that should be savored, not taken for granted as too many people did. Natalie hoped that when she became that ill, that she'd have half the optimism of her young friends, and that Nick would handle it as well as the parents here did. During Natalie's next visit to the hospital she saw Katie anxiously awaiting her arrival. Natalie headed straight for the spunky teen. "Hi, Natalie. How are you tonight?" "Hi, Katie. I'm doing good. How about you?" "Good." Katie hesitated slightly before continuing. "If I can get permission, can I watch you work sometime?" "Sure. I think I can get my boss to agree. I can't make any guarantees as to what you'll see. I hope you have a strong stomach." Natalie didn't think Terri could turn down a dying teen's request. "I do. Thanks." Katie said. "How about some skating? You said we'd do it some day." Natalie couldn't turn down the eager face in front of her. "Okay. I don't have to be at work for a few hours yet." "Can we go?" Katie asked, hoping for a yes. "Sure." "Let me tell Pam where we're going." Katie scurried off to let the head nurse know where she was going, grabbed her jacket and duffel bag before heading back to where Natalie was. "All set?" Natalie inquired. "Yeah. Do you have your skates with you?" "They're in my trunk. I was going to do some skating either later today or tomorrow. Nick will be glad I'm not dragging him along this time." Natalie grinned. "He doesn't like it?" "He doesn't seem to like it much. Too bad, he's actually pretty good at it." Her grin broadened as she thought about Nick on skates. About ten minutes later, Natalie and Katie arrived at the park. They sat in the car to put their inline skates, helmet and pads on. "You ready?" Katie playfully asked as she started to skate around. "Yeah," Natalie said as she locked the car door. "Last one to the bench is a rotten egg," Katie said as she took off. "Cheater," Natalie called out teasingly. She took off after Katie. Katie just barely beat Natalie to the bench. "Did you let me win?" "No. You had a good sized head start," Natalie said. "How about a rematch?" "You're on." "First one to the ice cream vendor wins," Natalie said. "Go." She started skating, Katie right behind her. She barely won this time. "How about some ice cream?" "Sure." They skated while eating their ice cream. After they were done eating they talked, told jokes, laughed as they exercised. Natalie kept an eye on Katie so she wouldn't overtire herself. About an hour later they tired and returned to the car, where they took off their equipment and changed back into their sneakers. "Are you hungry?" Natalie asked. "A little." "Any dietary restrictions?" "Nope. How about some pizza?" Katie asked as she caught a glimpse of the time. "I missed dinner by about five minutes." "I'm sorry." "That's okay. The food stinks, but you sorta get used to it. Scary, eh?" Katie let out a small giggle. "Yeah. That is scary. Pizza it is," Natalie said with a smile. Natalie and Katie walked down the street about a block to the Double Diamond Pizza place. Natalie let Katie pick the toppings. The two of them enjoyed a medium pizza with everything but mushrooms, anchovies and peppers on it. Along with the pizza they had fries and large sodas. After they finished, Natalie drove Katie back to the hospital. After escorting Katie back to the ward, seeing that she told Pam she was back, and saying goodbye, Natalie left. When she got outside, she checked her watch, seeing she'd just have time to quickly shower and change before work. Natalie entered her office, checked her desk pleased to discover no bodies awaiting her immediate attention, and headed for her supervisor's office. Natalie knocked on Terri's door and saw her boss motion for her to enter. "Natalie, what can I do for you?" Terri asked as she looked up from her paperwork. "I have a rather strange request to make and would like you to hear me out." "Okay." "I know a teen who's dying, and she'd like to see what I do. Would you have any objection to her spending a few hours with me here during a shift?" "It is a bit odd, but I don't see what it can hurt, providing you get her parents and her doctor's permission." Terri said. "Does this have anything to do with your recent picture in the paper?" "Yes. I met her through my friend Scott, the head of the new children's wing." "It sounds like you're doing a bit of volunteer work there." Terri was curious but proud of her forensic pathologist. She knew how hectic Natalie's schedule was and for her to spend her little free time volunteering was surprising. "I am. The kids are amazing. They're so optimistic, especially Katie. They can teach us so much." "I think it's great. I wish more of my staff would do volunteer work." "Thank you," Natalie said as she headed back to her office. Later, Natalie was seated at her desk, the latest file open in front of her, but her mind wasn't on work. She was thinking about Katie. She realized that if things had gone differently, Katie might've been her daughter, following in her mother's footsteps. But, now she'd never know because of Collins. She would always be haunted by the question - would her daughter have followed in her footsteps? Two nights later, Natalie picked up Katie on her way in for her shift. Natalie found her teen friend's excited state to be rather amusing, and reminded her a bit of herself at that age. Natalie and Katie entered the Coroner's office, running into Grace in the hallway. "Natalie, please don't tell me she's a new intern. If so then I'm really getting old," Grace cheerfully said. "She's not. Grace, this is Katie. Katie, Grace is my assistant." "Nice to meet you," both Katie and Grace said at the same time. "Katie, would you like some hot chocolate?" Grace asked. She knew Natalie would be heading for the coffee pot in a just a moment. "That would be great. Thanks." Right on schedule Natalie headed for the coffee pot, needing the caffeinated fluid to start off her shift. Natalie dragged an extra chair into her office so that Katie could have a seat somewhere other than the steel autopsy table. While she sipped at her coffee and Katie drank her hot chocolate Natalie looked through the small stack of files on her desk, glad that there wasn't anything that couldn't wait until later. "How about a quick tour of the room before you examine some blood samples? Then if you're still interested, some tissue samples." Katie's grin and eager nod were her answer. Natalie showed Katie the various pieces of equipment, explaining what each one did, showed her the freezer where the corpses were stored and the computer. She enjoyed satisfying the teen's curiosity. Natalie fetched some blood samples she had finished examining just the other night and placed the first one under the microscope. "Take a look." Katie examined that sample and several others, asking questions as she went. Natalie enjoyed answering them and asking a few of her own. She liked challenging her bright new friend. Natalie wondered if experiences like this could've changed Katie's mind about the career she'd wanted. "Natalie, do you have any more slides?" Katie asked. "What?" Natalie asked, her reverie broken. "Do you have any more slides?" "I think so. Let me look around." Natalie checked around, but couldn't find any new ones. "How would you like to make some?" "Cool. Blood or tissue ones?" Katie eagerly asked. "I think we'll start with a few blood ones. If that goes well, then we'll move onto the tissue ones." Natalie enjoyed Katie's eager curiosity. She handed Katie a pair of latex gloves and donned a pair herself. Natalie guided Katie through each step, letting her do the work herself. Katie found it fascinating. "What do you see?" Natalie asked, wishing she had some abnormal blood for Katie to examine. "I see regular looking blood cells. Nothing unusual here." Natalie took a frozen specimen from the freezer. "You ready to try a few tissue samples?" "Yeah. What's that gross thing?" Katie asked totally disgusted, but not about to quit. "It's a lung. I'm not saying anymore now." Natalie walked Katie through the process of slicing the tissue and preparing it for the slide. Katie was a little hesitant, but only at first. Once they had several sections prepared, Katie took them over to the microscope. "It looks all stringy inside. All gross." "That's not very professional sounding," Natalie teased. Katie reexamined the first slide. "Please tell me this isn't what my lungs look like." "Don't worry, your lungs don't look like that. What else do you see?" "They look like they couldn't work, or work very well. They seem to be destroyed." "You're right. Do you have any guess as to what did that?" "No. What was it?" "I would guess two packs of cigarettes a day for about fifteen years." "Is that what killed him?" "No. He was shot in the chest." Natalie didn't want to make Katie sick with all the gory details. "Ready to try some more?" "Sure." Natalie looked around for any samples she had stored, or any tissues she could use. She found a few items from each category and was pleased. She loved watching Katie eagerly examining everything she was shown and giving her opinion on it. While Katie was examining the last slide, Natalie grabbed her mug, filled it with water and took her handful of pills, hoping Grace wouldn't enter. About an hour later, the phone rang. Natalie answered it and scribbled down the address before replacing the receiver into it's cradle. "You ready to see what field work is like?" Natalie asked. "Sure." Shortly, they arrived at the address Natalie had scribbled down. "You can watch, but I need you to stay out of my way and that of the cops. If one of us tells you something, listen. Okay?" Natalie said as they approached the scene. "Sure. No problem." Katie hoped she didn't sound too excited. She had never been to a crime scene and wondered what she'd see. Katie wondered. Natalie hoped it wasn't too gruesome a scene. The two ladies arrived on the scene and approached the victim. "Hi, Nat. Hi, Katie," Nick said. Natalie had told him Katie was joining her at work tonight. "Hi, Nick." "Katie, this is Det. Schanke, Nick's partner." "Hi, Katie. Nice to meet you." "Hi, Det. Schanke. Nice to meet you, too," Katie said. Natalie examined the body, pointing out various things about the crime scene to Katie. She kept a close eye on the teen, not wanting to overtire her or make her lose her lunch. Katie was fascinated, yet a little disgusted at the same time. She had seen death, but never like this. "I'd estimate time of death to be six hours ago, give or take an hour. Cause of death, gunshot wound to the chest, most likely at close range. From the noticeable bruising I'd say that the victim put up a struggle first. I'll know more after I get him back to the lab. Do we have an ID on him?" "From his ID it said that his name's Jim Porter and he's from Montreal." Katie watched Nick, Natalie and Schanke working. She watched the activity, noticing how everyone seemed to really know what they were doing, especially Natalie. Schanke was curious why Natalie had brought a teenager with her to work. Nick had only told him that it was a friend of theirs. Schanke noticed how Katie was watching everything, paying particular attention to Natalie and his partner. Natalie and her "student" went back to the morgue, where they changed into scrubs and gowns. Katie was handed a cap, a pair of protective goggles, mask and two pairs of latex gloves. Natalie slipped into her magnifying goggles, mask and two pairs of latex gloves. She saw the curiosity on Katie's face and handed her a pair of the magnifying goggles. "Don't touch anything. Look around and tell me what you see. Okay?" Katie nodded. "If at any time this becomes too much for you, don't be afraid to leave the room. Grace is around and will show you the rest of the labs." They examined the body. Katie watched as Natalie dictated her findings into her tape recorder, sometimes stopping her recording to point something out or further explain its significance. Once the exterior of the body had been thoroughly examined Natalie prepared for the internal examination. "This is where it gets nasty. I'm going to cut him open here to here." Natalie gestured from his breast bone to below the belly button. Then I will examine the internal organs. I will also remove and weigh them. One of the staff here will make tissue slides from them, like we did earlier." Katie was beginning to look a little green around the edges as Natalie made her first incision, but was determined to hang in there. Natalie looked up at Katie before continuing, wanting to make sure the teen wasn't about to become ill or pass out. When all seemed okay, Natalie completed the Y incision opening up the victim. She examined the chest wound, carefully removing the lungs. Katie left the room rather quickly, looking quite green around the gills. Natalie had a hunch that Katie wouldn't make it through the entire autopsy, but was impressed with how long she had remained in the room. Katie had lasted longer than some med school students did and most cops. Natalie completed her autopsy and finished dictating her notes. She stripped off her gloves, mask, gown and slipped into her lab coat before heading out of her lab. She found Grace seated at her desk, alone. "Where's Katie? Is she okay?" "She's in the lounge. She looked a bit ill, but soon recovered. I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did." "Me too. Did you show her around?" "Yes. She found the various departments quite interesting. She liked being able to fire the .45 into the collection tube." "Thanks, Grace." "No problem. She's a nice kid. It's too bad she's dying." "I wouldn't let her hear you say that," Natalie said lightly, yet there was a seriousness to it as well. Natalie headed into the lounge and saw Katie sound asleep on the cot. She hated to wake her but knew Katie would probably be more comfortable in her own bed. "Katie." Natalie quietly said as she gently shook the teen's shoulder. "Time to go home." Katie woke, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. "I don't want to go back. I want to see what else you do. I'm sorry I couldn't stay there." "You did better than I did my first time." Natalie said with a laugh. "The first time I saw a body I turned a bit green. The first time I had to do an autopsy I was sick for three days." "Really?" Katie asked, surprised. "Really. During my training I learned how to push my feelings aside and do the job. Yes, it still gets to me sometimes." Natalie said. "Since I don't think you'd be interested in watching me fill out paperwork, why don't we go over to the precinct, before I take you back to the hospital?" "Okay," Katie said. "Do cops ever watch? Do they get sick? Has Nick or his partner lost their lunch?" "Most cops don't last as long as you did. Some can get through a little more than you did, but they eventually bolt. Very few make it through the entire thing. Nick has seen one, and managed to make it all the way through. Schanke tries to avoid them whenever he can." Natalie said. "Are you ready to go?" "I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." She knew it was time for her next round of medication and went to take the rather large handful of pills. She took even more than Natalie did, due to having AIDS. She had to take drugs to fight off infections and deal with those she might have. Grace entered as Natalie was sorting out the files she needed to take over to the precinct. "What's Katie dying from?" Grace asked, unable to contain her curiosity any longer. Natalie suddenly became quite nervous and tried to keep it from showing. She fiddled with her files while trying to come up with another way of phrasing AIDS. "She's dying due to several systemic failures. One of which is her immune system." "I'm dying of AIDS," Katie said. She had entered right after Grace's question, but stayed out of sight. She wanted to observe Natalie's reaction and was disappointed with her friend's answers. Katie noticed that the M.E. looked like she was about to jump out of her skin. "I'm sorry to hear that," Grace said, sincerely. She was surprised, but didn't pull away from Katie. Instead her heart went out to the teen. "Thanks." Katie could see Grace's curiosity. "I contracted it from a bad blood transfusion when I was almost five. I had appendicitis. Back then blood wasn't as carefully tested as it is now, because not as much was known about the disease." Grace was a little curious as to why Natalie would chose a teen with full blown AIDS to befriend, knowing Katie would die within a year, maybe two. "Good-bye, Katie. I enjoyed meeting you. I hope to see you again sometime." Grace wrapped the teen in a big bear hug. Natalie nervously stacked up her selected files, wondering if Grace would treat her that way if she found out that she was HIV positive. "Grace I'll be at the precinct for a while. Then I have to take Katie back to the hospital. I may or may not make it back here tonight," Natalie said, hoping her growing unease didn't show. She hoped Grace wouldn't ask too many questions about why she and Katie were friends, why she had given the answer she had or why she seemed a bit nervous now. Natalie grabbed her coat and bolted, with Katie right behind her. Grace noticed something was bothering Natalie and suspected it had to do with Katie. Grace's mind began to wander and she let it. Natalie was trying to pay close attention to the road, but was distracted by what had just happened in the morgue. "Is Grace always that friendly?" Katie asked, liking Natalie's assistant. "Yeah. She loves to hug. She's great," Natalie said with a big smile. "I like how she wasn't afraid to touch me, even after she knew. It didn't seem to matter to her." When Natalie remained silent, Katie looked at the files, finding them rather boring, the exception being the photographs, some of which made her a little green. "You're afraid to tell your friends, aren't you?" Katie asked. Natalie's silence showed Katie she was right. "I don't want them to worry. There's nothing they can do to help. I couldn't stand it if they turned away from me." "Don't you know *they* are your lifeline." Katie said. "What if they couldn't handle it? I don't want to lose them." "If they're your true friends, you won't lose them. It may take a few of them some time to accept it, but they won't turn their back on you for good. There are always a few that can't handle it or are too afraid. Your real friends will be there for you." Katie said. "It will make life a lot easier and a lot more rewarding for both you and your friends. You won't have to lie to them, then remember which lie you told to who. Don't forget what stress can do." Natalie knew Katie was right, that too much stress could cause her condition to worsen quicker than she'd like. Katie knew the expression she saw on her friend's face meant that Natalie was listening and thinking about what she was hearing. "Look how well Grace accepted my condition, and she barely knows me," Katie said. "Would you want to know if your friend had HIV or AIDS? What would you do if you learned that about one of them?" "I would want to know. I would want them to know I was there for them. I would want to know so I could make time to spend with them, instead of saying 'we'll get together soon' and allowing it to be put off for no good reason, and then suddenly it would be too late." Natalie couldn't believe how the teen sitting next to her could reach into her soul and know exactly what her fears were. Not to mention getting her to examine them and try to help her overcome them. She contemplated telling Grace. Before long they entered the precinct and were approaching Nick and Schanke's desks. "Katie, how about a tour?" Nick asked, watching Natalie deposit a stack of folders on his desk. "Sure. I've never been inside a police station before." Nick took Katie on a tour of the precinct, stopping at the various departments. He explained what each one did. Out of all the departments, Katie especially liked booking. Since it was momentarily slow, the officer in charge told her about his department, took her mug shot and fingerprinted her. She got a kick out of that and thanked him for his time. Nick also showed her lockup, allowed her to try on a bulletproof vest, and then took her to the shooting range. While Nick was showing Katie around Schanke had a few questions for Natalie. "Natalie, how did you and Katie meet? How does Nick know her?" "I met Katie through Scott. I was touched by the stories I heard at the opening and decided to do a little volunteer work. The kids are amazing. We can learn so much from them. Nick saw how much I enjoyed my volunteer work and tried it one night." She paused for a moment seeing the unasked question on Schanke's face 'why did she come to work with you?', and thought a moment before continuing. "Katie's terminally ill and wanted to see where I worked." "Natalie, you are something else. I don't know many people who put in the kind of hours you do and then volunteer to spend your time off with sick and dying children. I would think that after spending all those hours around stiffs you would want to do something life affirming offshift." "The children are life affirming. They may be sick or dying but they are enjoying what time they have left, making the most of every day. They're refusing to go down without a fight. Their optimism is amazing, even from the sickest ones." "What are the kids dying from?" "Pneumonia, cancer, immunological disorders, encephalitis, massive systemic failures, take your pick." "What's Katie dying from?" Natalie wanted to tell Schanke, but the words just wouldn't come. "She's dying of several systemic failures, one of which is her immune system." "Should she even be here? There are so many germs around," Schanke asked concerned. "It's okay." Natalie tried to reassure him. Nick had to convince the range attendant to let Katie in. He handed her a pair of ear protectors and took one for himself. He also handed her a pair of protective goggles, which she put on. He put up a target for her and showed her how to shoot, then handed her his weapon. She was startled the first time she fired it as it had quite a kick to it. It was different from doing it in the forensics lab, where the gun was mounted on a frame so all she had to do was pull the trigger. Here she held the gun in her own two hands, feeling the force of the recoil all throughout her slender body. When she had emptied the clip he reclaimed his gun, ejecting the empty clip and inserting a full one, before reholstering it. He brought her target up so that she could examine it. Several of the bullets hit various areas of the human anatomy, and a few strayed outside the body outline. "Not bad for a first try," Nick said with a grin. Katie smiled. They headed back for the bullpen, Katie happily carrying her souvenirs with her. "So, how did it go?" Schanke asked. "I had my mug shot taken and my fingerprints done. Nick let me fire off a clip. See." Katie proudly showed off her goodies, starting with her target. "Not bad," Schanke said. "Natalie, have you ever shot a gun?" "I have. Since the ME's office is part of the police department we were required to learn how to fire a weapon. I have to practice a couple of times a year. I'm supposed to do it more often, but usually find some excuse not to." "Thank you all for giving me a night I'll never forget." Katie stifled a yawn. "How about I give you a ride back in my car?" Nick asked. "Cool. Can we run the lights and siren?" "For a moment or two." Natalie and Nick left with Katie out in front. She was surprised to see Nick's car. "This is your police car?" "Yeah. Would you rather ride in a squad car?" "No. This is a much cooler car. Too bad it's too cold to have the top down." "Thanks." Nick grinned. "Why don't you ride up front. Natalie will ride in the back." They piled into the car and pulled out of the lot. Nick allowed her to flip on the lights and siren for a moment, as promised. Her grin of delight brought one nearly as large to Nick's face. They were halfway to the hospital when they came across an accident. Nick and Natalie went to check out the accident while Katie remained in the car. A patrol car arrived and took over, allowing Nick, Natalie, and Katie to continue on their way. Within minutes they arrived at the hospital. They walked Katie up to her room and saw that she was checked back in by Pam. They said their good-byes and left. Katie quickly fell asleep, exhausted from her busy night. Later, when Natalie was getting ready for bed she found herself wondering how long she would be able to keep up the pretense. A deep sigh escaped as her thoughts stayed on the future. Two nights later a package arrived at the coroner's office for Natalie, piquing her curiosity. She opened the package and found several sketches inside, along with a note. "Natalie, thank you for giving me such a wonderful night. I did these from memory and hope you like them. I'm going home for a while and will see you soon. Thank Grace, Nick and Schanke for me." Natalie read the note silently to herself. She examined the sketches. She found two sketches of her and Nick, showing the love between them. They were the same picture, but two handmade copies. There was one of Nick and Schanke, and one of Nick, Natalie, Schanke and Grace in a group portrait because they had made Katie's evening so special. There was also a sketch of Grace by herself. Natalie was quite touched by all of Katie's hard work. Natalie had the sketches framed and passed them out according to Katie's note. She gave Schanke the one of him and Nick, Nick received a copy of the sketch of her and him, and Grace received her portrait. Natalie kept the group portrait for herself. Schanke and Grace had been blown away by the excellent likenesses in their sketches. Myra had been impressed when Don showed her the picture. Myra couldn't believe that the artist was only fifteen years old. Natalie continued to use her spare time at work in her search for Nick's cure. It helped her to feel like she was doing something positive. In her mind, she knew it was too late for a cure for herself, but it wasn't too late for Nick. She decided to see if she could find any useful clues to her disease, but did not know where to start looking. She had been doing her best to keep current, but there was so much to read in both her field and AIDS research. She read about the latest breakthroughs, but nothing that lead her to believe there might be a cure within her lifetime. "Is this how Nick feels?" she wondered aloud, pausing her reading. This realization left her feeling both powerless and helpless, feelings she despised. She wound up taking journals with AIDS information home with her to read, while she read the forensic ones at work. She didn't want to be caught reading too many AIDS articles as it might arouse suspicion, especially Grace's. When she had started reading the AIDS articles, she had bought a notebook where she frequently jotted down notes, ideas, or anything that was related to her disease, Nick's condition, or a cure for either one of them. While out on patrol a distressed Schanke looked over at his partner, "Nick..." He didn't know what to say next. "Yeah, Schank?" "Myra's concerned about you and Natalie. A person would have to be blind not to see how much you two love each other, and not in the platonic way you insist." He loved the stunned look on his partner's face. Schanke paused before continuing, deciding how to phrase his next question. "Is Natalie's inability to have children the reason you two haven't gotten closer?" Nick hesitated, then simply said, "No, it isn't." Not knowing what more he should say, Nick paused for a few moments. Nick knew his partner. Schanke would not let go of this until he had some answers. Focusing on the road before him, Nick stated, "I'm the reason." He wondered if their love was that transparent, at least to those who knew them well. "What do you mean? If it's your allergy, I don't see why it should keep you two apart. Is there more to it than you've told me?" Schanke asked concerned. Thoughts of all the things Nick wished he could tell his partner ran through his mind. Things like Natalie being HIV positive, his being a vampire, his and Nat's inability to consummate their love due to that. Nick knew he had to tell his partner something. "I don't want to take the sun away from her. If we did get closer, nights are all I'd be able to offer her." Nick's pain and love for Natalie came through as he tried his best to explain things, without giving too much away. He didn't have to say how much he loved her. It was clearly evident from what he was saying, as well as how he said it. It felt good for him to be able to trust his friend with the truth, even if it was only a tiny part of it. "She could still go out in the sun. In case you haven't noticed, she doesn't seem to mind the night, especially when you're around. She was working nights when I met her. It didn't seem to bother her. She seemed to enjoy it." Schanke offered this as a reassurance that Nick wasn't making Natalie do anything she didn't want to do. "Yeah, I guess you're right. She'd have to enjoy the sun all by herself." "Well, now that the problem of daylight savings time is solved..." Schanke said. He was pleased to see Nick's slight grin. "Have you considered adoption?" "Yes. Neither of us are really ready for a child anyway." "Myra had trouble conceiving. We were about to give up hope when Myra learned she was pregnant with Jenny." Schanke's slightly depressed tone cheered up as he told the story. His love for his family came through clearly. Nick thought to himself as the rest of Schanke's words flew by like the buildings they passed. Later that evening Schanke dropped by the morgue to see Natalie. She looked up from her paperwork, a little surprised to see him there by himself. "Schanke, how can I help you?" "I just came by to ask you something. Actually..." "What is it?" She knew his concerned tone of voice. A small wave of panic hit her, "I want to know the real story," Schanke said, too caught up in his concern to notice Natalie's slight panic. Before she could say anything, she heard his next words. "If I couldn't see the love between you and Nick, I'd have to turn in my badge and pick up one of those white canes the blind use." Once again he missed her relief that it wasn't about her condition. "Myra and I... hell, most of the precinct can see you two love each other. And not just what friends feel for each other." He liked her surprised look. He remembered Nick's being more of a stunned reaction. With hesitation, Schanke continued, "Myra's concerned that your inability to conceive is keeping you and Nick apart." Natalie tried to recover from Schanke's bluntness. "You can tell her that it has nothing to do with why Nick and I haven't gotten together. Neither of us are ready for that sort of commitment." She knew he was as concerned as Myra was, if not more. She liked that they considered her a part of their family. She knew it was a great confidence booster to Nick, that he too was accepted by the Schankes as a part of the family. Schanke could see that there was more to it. "Natalie?" "It's nothing really." She hoped she could stall him long enough to come up something believable to tell him. "Natalie?" "I know we could always adopt. Is it fair to adopt a child knowing that his father could be killed at any time in the line of duty?" Natalie said, somewhat bittersweet. Schanke was still concerned by the sadness he detected in his friend's eyes. "Besides, neither of us are ready for a family." Natalie knew there was a small bit of truth to her statement, so she didn't feel as if she was totally lying to her friend. Schanke repeated the story about his and Myra's trouble having Jenny, hoping it would help somehow. "Tell Myra I appreciate her concern. Yours too." She smiled, knowing they were only looking out for her. That morning Schanke arrived home and was greeted at the door by Myra. "Don, did you talk to them?" She asked concerned. "Yeah. They are something. Do I smell your special pancakes?" "Yes, you do. I was just about to throw yours on the griddle." They walked over to the table as Don relayed his chats with both Nick and Natalie. Myra was glad to hear that Natalie's problem wasn't the cause of their not taking that next step. She knew how hard it was on a relationship. "Honey, I know you want to help, but they have to work it out for themselves." Don said as he gave Myra a quick kiss, while eyeing his pancakes on the griddle. Myra knew her husband was correct. Only Nick and Natalie could decide when they were ready to make any sort of further commitment to each other. But, Myra couldn't help but wonder why she had the nagging feeling there was more to the couple's stories. Propping her chin in the palm of her hand, she watched Don devour the syrup drenched pancakes stacked on his plate. Myra thought to herself as she smiled at her husband. Before Nick and Natalie knew it the first anniversary of her diagnosis rolled around. Natalie arrived home after spending the afternoon running a bunch of errands. She entered her bedroom quite surprised to discover a stunning royal blue silk dress, it's hanger carefully hung over the slightly opened white folding door. She knew it had not been there when she left that afternoon. The sun had only been down a short while. A smile graced her face knowing who had placed the exquisite garment in her closet. Her eyes glanced downward, finding matching shoes on the floor below the dress. Excitedly, she took her next round of medication, hurriedly showered, then slipped into the dress, surprised to see that it fit her perfectly. She was putting on her earrings, three small single diamonds set into cascading gold strands and heard the doorbell. She answered the door, finding Nick there, right on time. He was decked out in a dark suit, crisp white shirt, and a matching dark tie, which was something he rarely wore. He was stunned when he saw her. She looked more beautiful and radiant than he had ever seen her before. "Is something wrong?" She motioned for him to enter, which he did, shutting the door behind him. "No. You look gorgeous." He smiled as the color crept into her cheeks. Her comment caused him to realize he'd been staring. "Thank you. It feels like a second skin. How..." Nick cut her off. "I've picked up a few skills over the centuries, besides I remembered your size from the few times I've brought you clothes. Are you ready to go?" He was pleased the tailor had been able to fit the dress so perfectly without her there to try it on. "Yes. I'm starving." He helped her into the long leather coat he had given her. The blue of the dress was a nice contrast with the black of her coat, as was the silk against the leather. "Nick, I want tonight to be as positive as possible. If I start getting all angsty, stop me. Okay?" "Okay. I expect you to do the same for me." "I will." About twenty minutes later, Nick and Natalie arrived at one of the finest restaurants in Toronto and had been shown to a prime table. Nick ordered a bottle of a sparkling non- alcoholic cider knowing that Natalie did not drink, mainly because she did not want to interfere with her medication. "You know, in spite of it, I feel better than I have in a long time. It's probably because I'm taking better care of myself," Natalie said. The waiter brought over the sparkling cider and filled their two champagne flutes with it before leaving. "You look magnificent. Here's to another healthy year," Nick said as he raised his flute in a toast. "I'll drink to that." Natalie raised her flute in acknowledgment. She thought before banishing that and all other negative thoughts from her mind. Nick caught her moment of angst, and knew what she was thinking. He wondered the same thing. "What do you think?" Nick said, making a small gesture to indicate he wanted her opinion of the restaurant. "I hear they have a chocolate dish that's fantastic." Natalie's answer brought a smile to Nick's face, which in turn caused one to form on her own face. He loved her smile. They both hoped it was another healthy year. They knew the longer she stayed asymptomatic the better. Natalie was pleased when he not only ordered without being reminded, but also ate a couple of bites. She knew his higher tolerance for food was a good sign. It gave them hope that maybe he would regain his mortality. But would it be before she was too sick for it to matter whether she found the cure? He knew it made her happy to see him eat, even though it often nauseated him. He also knew that if he ate he didn't have to drink those awful protein shakes of hers, even though she tried to make them tastier... without success. Later that evening they returned to his loft to watch a few movies. She changed into something much more casual and noticed he did as well. It was times like this that she almost forgot about being HIV positive. When she was with Nick, she didn't feel like an outcast and figured it was because he too was one. In between the first and second movies she had to take her medications. They were one of her frequent reminders of having HIV. She really hated the ones she had nicknamed "horse pills" because of their large size, as they were the hardest ones to get down. She refused to let her medication spoil her evening. Natalie noticed that Nick had started taking both his vitamin E and his garlic pills much more regularly. Sometimes when she took her pills, causing her to wonder if she was having a positive influence on him. A part of her hoped so. Two weeks passed. Natalie underwent another checkup. Both she and Nick still worried after each doctor's visit until the results came back, knowing that her condition could change at any time. Their friends noticed a slight uncertainty, often almost a slight edginess in the couple, but ignored it, knowing it was probably related to their relationship and really was none of their business. Two days later Natalie's test results came back showing no change in her condition. Both she and Nick were greatly relieved, dreading the first time they heard that her T-Cell count had dropped. Natalie and Nick knew they couldn't dwell on that aspect, but had to enjoy life here and now. Their friends were pleased when they noticed the couple's edginess was gone and the uncertainty was nearly gone. Natalie decided that she wasn't going to let the fact that she had HIV prevent her from living as normal a life as possible. She was healthy and hoped to remain that way throughout the year and for many to come. She allowed the fact that she was infected with the virus to fade into the background. Her medication schedule had become second nature and wasn't anything she paid more attention to than was absolutely necessary. She and Nick worked on keeping their new communication skills in tune, knowing they needed them now as much as ever, and would be needing them more than ever as her health deteriorated. During her second year with the virus, Natalie enjoyed trying new activities. Frequently, she dragged Nick along, sometimes kicking and screaming, but mostly he went willingly, knowing why she was doing it. He knew her adventures were very important to her and didn't want to hurt her. Also, he got a kick out of seeing what wild idea she'd come up with next as she savored each day, never knowing what the next would hold. Natalie enjoyed learning to line dance, something that Nick had been less than enthusiastic about trying. Once he knew what he was doing, he enjoyed it, much to his surprise. They went to festivals, carnivals, anything that appealed to her. One night they attended a local fair, where Nick saw the pie eating contest and knew it was his turn for some fun. "Nat, any interest in the contest?" Nick said as he pointed to the sign. "Maybe. Think I have a chance to win?" "Maybe. If its a chocolate pie, I'd say the odds are in your favor." He teased. She saw the wicked grin on his face and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and let out a quick giggle. "You don't think I'd enter, do you?" "No. I don't." Natalie pinned back her somewhat unruly mass of curls as she headed for the contest. She took her place on stage. The fact that she'd have limited contact with the other participants helped her relax and enjoy the contest. Nick almost exploded with laughter watching Natalie dig into the chocolate cream pie with a vengeance. The fact that she wasn't allowed to use her hands made it all the more fun to watch. She finished off five pies before time ran out. The winner finished seven. She gladly accepted the damp towel as her face from her cheeks down felt sticky. She even had some of the pie on the end of her nose. She cleaned the pie residue off her face and then used one of those premoistened wipes to remove the stickiness. She took her second place ribbon, the twenty dollar prize and headed for Nick. "Nicely done," Nick said, with a huge grin. "Thanks. I'm stuffed." "I'm not surprised. How many pies did you eat? Five wasn't it?" He teased. "Yes. If it had been a drinking contest, how many bottles would you have consumed? Probably at least that many?" She returned the tease. "You might have a point there," He conceded, playfully. The next evening, Natalie returned to her office having finished the latest crime scene investigation, only to find a chocolate cream pie on her desk. She wondered which of her friends had left it, and was determined to find out. Grace entered to ask Natalie a question and found the forensic pathologist doing a little pie dissection. Natalie noticed Grace's desire for a slice. "Did you leave this here?" The coroner inquired. "No. Why?" Natalie knew Grace had heard the story, due to the slight grin on her face. "Do you know who did?" "No." Natalie rewarded Grace's answers with a big fat slice, which Grace took and hurried off to consume. A few minutes later Natalie was finishing off her piece when Nick and Schanke entered. "Hi guys." "That looks good. You bought a whole pie? At least you're using a fork this time," Schanke teased. "It's quite good. Would you like a slice? I have Nick to thank for the pie, right?" "With deductive reasoning skills like that you should be a detective," Nick said. "A slice would be terrific. Thanks." Natalie cut Schanke a good sized piece and handed it to him with a fork. She then stuck the remaining half of the pie into the fridge, making sure the box lid was shut. "This is good. Nick, you'll have to give Myra the name of the bakery," Schanke said between bites. "Was there a reason you two stopped by?" "Do you have the Benson results back yet?" "No. They should be back any time now." Time flew by as Grace's birthday approached. Natalie felt like celebrating and Grace's birthday was the perfect reason for a surprise party. Natalie decorated her apartment quite festively with balloons in every color of the rainbow, with contrasting ribbons hanging down, and the requisite Happy Birthday banner hung from her living room curtain rod. After a final once over, she grabbed her jacket and headed out for work. During her shift she reminded Grace that they were having dinner tonight. Grace remembered, commenting that she was looking forward to it. Near the end of their shift Natalie called Nick, reminding him to go set out the refreshments and make sure all the guests arrived before she and Grace did. Natalie made a quick call home at the end of her shift to make sure everything was still on schedule, before she and Grace left, pleased when it was. Natalie told Grace that she needed to stop by her apartment first, if it was okay. Grace didn't find it too odd and told her friend it was okay. Grace was stunned when she and Natalie entered the forensic pathologists apartment and heard "surprise" shouted by Grace's friends. Natalie loved the huge smile that spread across her friend's face. Grace noticed her favorite foods laid out nicely on the dining room table. She really appreciated the effort Natalie had put into the party. Especially if her suspicions were correct. After everyone had a chance to eat, drink and mingle, Natalie escorted the birthday girl over to the couch where the stack of presents awaited her. Once everyone had found somewhere to either sit or stand, Natalie handed the birthday girl her first gift. Grace opened the festively wrapped present, finding a little ceramic figurine of a boy in bunny pj's inside and thanked Natalie for her perfect gift. It was one of the few she did not have from that collection as it was one of the harder ones to find. Nick handed her his gift, which she quickly unwrapped. Inside she found a baseball hat for her favorite team, tucked inside the hat was a pair of tickets to the next three games along with parking passes. Grace noticed that they were not the cheap nosebleed section of the stadium, but the best seats. She loved the tickets and promised she'd take them each to one of the games. Nick was glad she liked the gift, as he hadn't known what to get her. Grace continued to open gifts as they were handed to her, thanking the recipient. Grace blushed when she received a sexy teddy from her friends at work, knowing how Natalie had felt that time they'd given her a similar gift. She looked over and saw a mischievous grin on Natalie's face. That May Natalie and Nick were inside the high school auditorium for Katie's graduation ceremony. Since the ceremony didn't start until late afternoon, the sun would be low in the sky, and the overcast day helped even more. Natalie and Nick were as proud of Katie as Katie's own parents were, and as proud as Katie, herself was. Katie's condition had worsened slightly over the last eight months. The huge smile that lit up the teen's face as she collected her diploma was as bright as the sun. Her mom took several shots as the teen received the diploma. Her dad videotaped the entire thing. After the ceremony Nick and Natalie approached Katie. They exchanged embraces and smiles. "I told you I would do it," Katie said, bursting with excitement. She was a little tired from all the excitement, but refused to let it spoil her day. "I knew you would," Natalie said, lightly. "Me too," Nick said, cheerfully. "Congratulations!" Natalie handed Katie a small wrapped box. "Go ahead. It's from both of us." "Congratulations! You did great," Nick said with a smile. Natalie held Katie's diploma and hat while the teen opened the box. Inside was an elegant yet simple gold chain with a charm holder hanging from it. Hanging from the holder was a graduation charm, a medical symbol, a tiny pair of handcuffs, and an artist's palette. Katie's eyes went wide as she saw the necklace. "Thank you. It's gorgeous." She immediately knew the significance of each charm. The memories brought a smile to her face. "Nick, how can you be here?" Katie whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear. "The storm helps block out the sun, as does the time of day. We got a really good spot right outside the door." Nick left out the fact that he'd moved at vampiric speed so he wouldn't be exposed to enough sunlight to cause a problem. Katie's dad videotaped Katie talking with Nick and Natalie, as well as each of them alone with Katie. Katie's mom had her daughter, Nick and Natalie pose together for pictures. Nick took pictures of the family, knowing how important pictures were, especially when a loved one wasn't around anymore. Several days later, Natalie arrived at the pediatric ward and saw Aaron's mother in tears. Natalie approached. "Aaron passed away a few minutes ago," his mother said through her tears. "He went to sleep and never woke up." "I'm so sorry." Natalie took Belinda into her arms, seeing how much she needed it. Belinda cried on Natalie's shoulder, as tears ran down Natalie's face as well. Natalie felt like someone had hit her in the gut. She had gotten to know Aaron and his family over the last year. Natalie asked herself, surprised. She had seen him growing weaker each day over the last month and knew that death would come soon, but somehow it still managed to take her by surprise. She knew that a good many of them would. Slowly the tears stopped and both women separated. "He will be missed by all who knew him," Natalie said. "I know I'll miss him." "Thank you." Belinda wandered away and Natalie didn't follow, knowing that the grieving mother needed time alone to deal with her son's death. Natalie sat down on one of the couches, a part of her wanting to run and never come back, not ready to face the death of an innocent little angel, while the other part knew that death was inevitable, unless you were a vampire, and even they died. "Are you crying over Aaron?" Asked Cathy, a perky redheaded five year old. Natalie looked at the cute little face, and saw the sadness there. "Yes." "I'll miss my friend." Natalie saw the tears trickle down Cathy's face and scooped her up, settling the child on her lap. She felt the small arms wrap around her, once again reawakening her sadness over remaining childless. She wrapped one arm around Cathy and stroked the child's red hair with her other hand. "I'll miss him too." "At least he's not sick anymore. He won't hurt anymore either." A small sad grin spread across Natalie's face. She was amazed at how such a small person could be so wise. "I know." Natalie went straight to the loft about an hour later. She needed to get away from there, and all the unpleasant reminders of her future. Nick was doing some painting, surprised when he heard the elevator motor start, and then caught her heartbeat. Natalie stepped into the loft moments later, her cheeks wet with new tears. "What's wrong?" Nick asked fearfully, hoping she wasn't sick. "Aaron died a little over two hours ago. He was so little, so innocent." Nick put down his brush, wiped his hands and headed for her. He wrapped her in a loving embrace, feeling her arms wrapping around him. "I know," He said, the sadness clearly evident in his voice, as he gently stroked her chestnut hair, hiding the tears in his eyes. It was an unwanted reminder that some day, long before her time, he'd lose her to the same damn disease. Natalie pulled away and looked up into his face, seeing the tears in his eyes. She saw one make its way down his cheek. "It's so hard to see someone so young struggle so much for something we take for granted... life. Then to see it end." Nick wrapped his arm around her waist and escorted her to the couch. She sat next to him, her head resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her body. "He's now in peace. No more pain, or sickness," Nick said trying to reassure her. "I know. I feel guilty when I think that it is the best thing for him," Natalie said. "Every life is important. But how much should a person have to suffer before the end comes? Is a life of nothing but pain and suffering much of a life?" Nick asked, not having the answers. "I don't know. I think there has to be a balance between life and the amount of suffering. If there's nothing but great pain and suffering, then it's not really living, is it?" "No, it isn't." Nick and Natalie sat quietly on his couch. They grieved for those who were dying of AIDS, especially the children because they had not had the chance to grow and learn about the world and who they were as a person. They were grateful that she was still healthy, still asymptomatic. They knew not having children of their own was the right thing. The ten percent or higher chance that their child would be like all those on the ward was too high a risk. Nick made sure that Natalie ate a nutritious breakfast, cooked by her personal chef. He fixed her whatever she wanted to eat, knowing it was important for her to make sure she kept her body fueled with the proper foods. She yawned her way through breakfast, curling up on the couch afterwards. She was asleep almost as soon as she stretched out. He covered her with a blanket and very quietly cleaned up the few painting items that could not be put off until evening. Once that was done he headed up to bed. Three weeks later, Nick asked Natalie what she wanted to do for her second anniversary. A moonlight cruise was her answer. Nick rented a decent sized yacht for the evening and made sure that dinner would be nothing short of five stars. Natalie arrived at the pier expecting tickets on one of those harbor cruises. Nick loved the extreme surprise on her face as she saw the yacht. "Nick, once again you've outdone yourself," Natalie said, a bit stunned. "You said you wanted a cruise, and a cruise is what you shall get," he said with a large grin. The cruise was soon underway. Natalie looked at the skyline, noticing how it merged with the stars. She enjoyed the gentle breeze drifting off Lake Ontario. The steward brought them a champagne flute of the sparkling cider she enjoyed. "Here's to another healthy year," Nick said as he raised his glass. Natalie raised hers in support. As she sipped, she thought about all the little things in life that most people took for granted. She realized that this was what life was all about. It wasn't important how much time one had, but it mattered how that person lived. They had agreed to ban all negative thoughts of the future or the past for the evening. They knew that each anniversary brought more uncertainty with it. They knew they had to live for the present and not dwell on the what ifs and when was it going to happen or they would miss too much. A short time later, the steward returned to tell them that dinner was ready. Dinner consisted of prime rib, lobster tails, creamry potatoes drowning in melted butter, with a sinfully rich chocolate mousse for dessert. Nick watched Natalie take her time and enjoy her dinner. He tried a bite of everything to please her. He found the mousse too sweet for his taste and offered her his mousse, which she happily finished off, not wanting something that delicious to go to waste. Nick had his dinner put into the refrigerator for later, knowing Natalie would enjoy having it as a late morning snack or as lunch before she went in to work. After dinner they went back out on deck. The night was too beautiful to stay below. Natalie looked over the railing at the stars' reflections on the water. They sparkled like diamonds set against a black velvet backdrop. Nick loved the way the moonlight reflected off Natalie's hair, and lost himself in her bright blue eyes which sparkled in the starlight. Natalie looked deeply into his eyes thinking nearly the same thoughts as Nick. She too enjoyed the way the light played off his hair and handsome face. Nick leaned in, his lips gently meeting hers, finding no resistance. His nose gently rubbed against hers, between soft, gentle, passionate kisses. Her arms slipped around him as his wrapped around her. He buried his hands in her hair, caressing her gently. They looked as happy as any two people in love could be. Unfortunately, it did not last as the vampire threatened to overwhelm him. Nick broke off the embrace and moved back a step or two. Natalie understood and said nothing. Nick began pointing out various constellations, telling her the stories behind them. She loved hearing his stories. The next evening Grace entered Natalie's office to hand her the latest cases and saw the smiling, distant look in her friend's eyes. Grace was glad to see that any remaining traces of the rape's aftermath had healed. She knew that Natalie would never truly forget it, but now it was no longer in the forefront of her mind. Natalie had been able to shove it into the background and move forward with her life. She knew that Nick had been one of the main reasons Natalie recovered so well. He had made her feel safe and loved, which allowed her to deal with her grief and be able to face life again. "It looks like someone had a good night." Grace said, curiously, with a touch of teasing in her tone. "Yes. I finally got that moonlight cruise. It was lovely," Natalie said with a large grin. "Did a certain detective take you?" Grace asked, in the same tone, only this time there was a bit more teasing to it. "Yes. Nothing happened! We're just good friends," Natalie said, still smiling over the memories. "And I'm the Easter Bunny," Grace teased. "We do love each other, but as very good friends." Natalie said, hoping Grace would believe her. "Uh, huh," Grace said, disbelieving. Natalie knew it was hopeless to try and persuade Grace otherwise. Besides, she wasn't sure she really wanted to. Meanwhile, that same night at the precinct, Schanke saw Nick enter with a smile on his face and knew he had to get in some good natured partner ribbing. "Woohoo hoo! Well, well, Detective Knight. Had a late night did we?" "I took a friend on a moonlight cruise. She's wanted to take one for a while," Nick said hurriedly while busying himself with paperwork to hide his smile as memories of Natalie in the moonlight washed over him like a warm shower of water. "Someone we both know?" Schanke teased. "Yes." Nick saw Schanke's expression. "Nothing romantic. Just two very good friends going out for an evening." "Yeah, right." Natalie was filling out the latest batch of reports when her phone rang. She answered it, grateful for the distraction. "Lambert." "Nat, can you come by the loft after your shift?" Nick asked. "Sure. What's up?" Natalie heard something in his voice, but wasn't quite sure what it was. "Nothing." She heard it again that time. She suspected he had something up his sleeve, but decided to play along. Meanwhile at the precinct, Schanke watched his partner as he talked with Natalie. He had a hunch as to what Nick was up to and hoped he was right. Several hours later, Natalie arrived at Nick's loft. His shift had ended half an hour before hers did. He opened the door as soon as he heard the elevator stop. "Nick, what's up?" She asked concerned. "Nothing." He led her over to the couch. She sat down and waited for him to take the seat next to her as he often did. She saw a mixture of emotions on his face and grew a little more concerned. "Is everything okay?" "Yes... no... I don't know." He saw her growing concern. "I'm okay, at least I think I am." "Nick, you're losing me. What's wrong?" Nick got down on one knee before her. "Natalie, will you marry me?" Tears ran down her cheeks as a large smile crossed her face. Natalie held up a hand, her smile fading. Sadness taking it's place. "Nick, don't... don't say that." "Nat," he gently caressed her cheek with his hand, making her smile. "Remember, the wedding vows say 'in sickness and in health'. I want to be there for you. I want to show you how much I love you." Natalie's smile faded as she sifted through his words. She held a hand up, "Wait. Let me see if I heard you correctly." She walked over to the window and stared out it. After a moment of silence she sharply turned around. She tried to understand why a man who could want for nothing wanted to marry her. At the same time she was trying to understand why he wouldn't bring her across, other than her request to remain mortal. He hadn't even offered that option to her. "You want to marry me... a person who will end up not even being able to feed herself. Someone..." she began as tears fell, "Someone who is afraid to touch a human, who can't even tell her best friends that she is HIV positive." Natalie's thoughts were blackened with anger as she turned to look back out into the night's darkness. "Why now, Nick?" She turned to face him, wanting to see his face. "You have had years to show me your love. Is it out of some sense of duty, of honor?" Her next words stung his soul, "Or is it part of some great plan in your quest for atonement?" Nick fought back his own bloody tears as he stood and approached her. She saw the pain in his eyes. Tenderly he took one of her hands, "I love you, Natalie. So many times I wanted to ask you. I was afraid of the darkness I would be leading you into. I've since learned that I was only afraid of myself." He paused to examine her face for clues that his words were being heard. "I wanted to ask you after Collins was in jail. But, I could see how fragile you were and then..." Nick caressed her knuckles. Natalie swallowed hard then finished his sentence, "Then the test results came back." Nick nodded. "Natalie, Collins stole a part of our dreams. But it's not all gone. We're both still here, still alive. Let's not let him steal the rest." He saw her carefully thinking about what he just said and gave her a moment before he continued. "I love you, Natalie. Will you marry me?" Natalie tightly wrapped her arms around the man she loved, then looked into his eyes. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words." Tears streamed from her eyes. She wiped away her tears and nodded. "Yes, I'll marry you. I don't know what I did to deserve you." She grinned. "I love you more than you'll ever know." Nick pulled an antique ring from his pocket and slipped it on her finger. Natalie lost her breath when she saw the ring. The stone wasn't huge, but it came from him, and that was all that mattered. "Is it okay?" He asked a little uncertain. "It's beautiful. It looks old." Natalie saw the nervous joy in his eyes. "It is. It was my mother's, then my sister's and now yours. When I heard that Fleur had died, I arranged to claim a few of her possessions." He loved the surprised look on her face. "Why didn't she pass it on to one of her children?" "She had two sons who both died in service to their king before they could marry." "That's so sad," Natalie said. Gently, she caressed the ring with the tip of her finger. "I'll always cherish this ring. It's the most personal gift you've ever given me," Natalie said happily as a few more tears streamed down her face. Blood tears ran down Nick's cheeks, showing his overwhelming joy that she had not only accepted his proposal, but she loved his ring as well. Natalie was overjoyed that not only had Nick finally admitted he loved her, but he was making a serious commitment to her as well. It had been worth all their struggles. her mind asked. "Have you eaten?" Nick asked. "No, I thought I'd grab something on the way home," Natalie said as she wiped away her tears and then his. Her gesture made Nick cup her chin in his hands and kiss her thoroughly. "What would you like?" Nick asked. "How about some Chinese food. I know it doesn't seem like the right thing for such an occasion, but it's what I'm in the mood for," Natalie said slightly apologetic. "If that's what you want, then it's the perfect thing for this occasion," Nick said lightly. Nick called in the take out order and arranged for delivery. Nick noticed a sudden look of panic overtake Natalie's features. "What's wrong?" he asked concerned. "It just hit me how much work there is to planning a wedding. We haven't even picked a date yet." Nick laughed earning a playful slap on the arm for it. "Pick any date you wish." "How about an August wedding? I don't want a fall wedding." "Why not?" "It's too far away. Also, did you know June is the most popular month for weddings? That and Valentine's Day." "I didn't know that. August sounds fine. I don't want to wait until fall either." "How about an August twenty-seventh wedding? That should give us enough time to plan a small wedding." "You don't want a large, fancy wedding?" Nick asked, hoping he would have the chance to go all out to make their wedding extraordinary. She saw his expression. "Just because it's small doesn't mean it can't be fabulous," she said with a grin. She wanted something simple and elegant. But if he wanted to go all out, she'd let him... to a point. "First we need to make a list of everything there is to do, then decide where to start." Just then the Chinese food arrived. Nick let the delivery man up and tipped him. Nick set the container of beef lo mein on the counter, and Natalie quickly helped herself. She loved trying to eat with chopsticks, succeeding only about half the time. The other half of the time she wished she had a pair of forceps. Nick got too close and as soon as he opened his mouth to say something he found it full of beef and noodles. "Don't even think about spitting it out." Nick reluctantly chewed the mouthful before attempting to choke it down. "Very good." Natalie smiled at him. "Just for that you won't have to drink a shake today." She loved the surprised grin that spread across his lips. "How about trying another bite?" Nick reluctantly opened his mouth, so she could stick some more of the rather nauseating food into it. It wasn't that dish in particular, it was mortal food in general, that upset his stomach. He chewed it and swallowed it, barely managing to keep it down. "This is progress." She saw the slight signs it was making him sick and decided it wouldn't do to have him throw up by making him eat any more. The next evening Natalie entered her office, stuck her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk and headed for the coffee machine. She knew it was bad for her, but it was one addiction she couldn't give up. Slightly shaking her head, Natalie chided herself as she looked at the coffee cup in her hand. No sooner had Natalie settled herself in her chair, than Grace entered holding a bundle of folders in her arms. "Good evening, Grace." "You're in a great mood this evening. What's up?" "Not much," Natalie said cheerfully as she took the stack of files from Grace, curious to see if her friend would notice the engagement ring. "Natalie, is that what I think that is?" Grace asked as she waited for her friend to put down the files. "What?" Natalie teased. "Did he..." Grace asked as she took hold of her friend's hand to get a closer look at her ring. "He did... didn't he?" "Yes. He did," Natalie said beaming. "Did you two set a date yet?" Grace inquired quite curious. "Yes. August twenty-seventh." "You're not wasting any time are you?" Natalie's smile softened and a tear threatened to fall as Grace's question took hold of her thoughts. Natalie knew that would lead to uncomfortable questions. Taking a breath, she rose and walked around her desk to where Grace stood. "Grace, would you be my Matron of Honor?" Natalie asked, loving the stunned look on her friend's face. "I'd be honored," Grace stammered, still somewhat stunned from the whole thing. "I can't believe it." "Neither can I," Natalie said. Grace wrapped her friend in a big bear hug. Natalie was a little uncomfortable, but knew that she was just being silly. She couldn't hurt Grace by hugging her. When they broke off the embrace, Grace's eyes became fixed upon Natalie's ring. "Your ring looks like an antique. He must really love you." "It is. It was his mother's. It has been in his family for a very long time." Natalie loved how she could tell the whole truth about it, not having to fudge any of it. "Natalie, have you started making any plans?" "It's going to be a small wedding. I know Nick wants to make it something special." "You deserve it." Meanwhile at the precinct, Schanke looked up and saw the grin on his partner's face that was mirrored by a happiness he rarely saw in his partner's usually sad blue eyes. "What has you so happy tonight?" Schanke asked before it hit him. "Did you pop the question?" "Yes," Nick said, a bit surprised that Schanke had figured it out. "How'd you know?" "I thought so. Let's just say that I know the look of someone about to take a walk down the aisle." Seeing the questioning look in Nick's eyes, Schanke quickly answered before his partner had a chance to ask, "No, Natalie hasn't been here tonight, and no she didn't say anything about it" Schanke said. "Congratulations, partner! When's the big day?" "August twenty-seventh." "That's quick. Is there any special reason for it?" Schanke said with a hinting tone. "No reason. No, Nat's not pregnant," Nick quickly replied, answering Schanke's own unasked question. Sadness briefly crossed Nick's face. "Nick, I'm so sorry. I forgot." Schanke wanted to kick himself for that. "It's okay." Nick knew it was a lie, but he couldn't let his partner beat himself up for what was an innocent mistake. He decided to lighten the mood. "Would you be my Best Man?" A stunned Schanke was speechless for a moment. "You better believe I will!" He burst out. Then gathering up his dignity he proudly asserted. "Yes. It will be my pleasure." Later that evening Nick and Schanke stopped by the morgue to pay a visit to the bride to be. "Natalie, congratulations! It's about time you two finally figured out that you belong together." Schanke said as soon as he entered her office. He wrapped the coroner in a big bear hug before releasing her. The fact that she was still uneasy when hugged by her friends surprised her. She knew that she couldn't spread her disease that way. "Thanks, Schank," Natalie said, regaining her breath. "I have a really big favor to ask." "Ask away." "Would you do me the honor of walking me down the aisle?" Schanke was completely overwhelmed by her request. He stood there speechless. "Schanke?" Natalie asked amused and a little concerned. "Sorry." He mumbled as he snapped out of his daze. "I'd be glad to. I'm honored that you asked." "Outside of Sarah and Amy, you, Myra, Jenny, Grace and Nick are the closest I have to family. I couldn't get married without having a good friend walk me down the aisle, now could I?" "I guess not. Just wait until Myra hears this! Are you having a big wedding?" "No. I want it to be a small one with just close friends and family." Schanke approached his front door, tired from his shift, but in a great mood because he was going to be a very busy man in a month. Myra turned off the alarm system and opened the door for her husband. "What has you in such a great mood?" "Nothing," he said playfully. "Just the fact that I'm going to be both best man and give away the bride at Nick and Natalie's wedding next month." He loved the surprised and very pleased look on his beautiful wife's face. "That's terrific! I knew they belonged together! I can't wait to congratulate them." Myra smiled and giggled, "And they really thought they were fooling us." As she walked into the kitchen to make coffee, she wondered out loud, "I wonder if she needs any help with the wedding." Don yelled back, "I'm sure Natalie would love for you to help especially when she only has a month to plan everything." From the kitchen, Myra poked her head out and shook her head, "A month? That's not long at all!" Don walked to Myra and gave her a quick kiss. He smiled and said, "I guess they decided they'd waited long enough." Late the next afternoon Natalie was getting ready for work when her phone rang. "Lambert." "Hi, Natalie. I guess that will be changing soon, eh?" Myra said, joyfully with a slight teasing tone. "Hi, Myra. What's up? I see Don told you," Natalie said almost as cheerfully. "Yes. I am so happy for you and Nick. Which leads me to why I called. Do you need any help with the preparations?" "Yes. There's so much to do and not much time. I thought you, me, and Grace could meet at Nick's loft so we could get started planning. I'm going to try and drag him into it as well. How about tomorrow afternoon about two?" She purposely scheduled it during the day so Nick wouldn't be able to escape, unless he hid in his bedroom. "Sounds good. How long will we have?" "Several hours." Natalie stopped by Katie's house on her on her way in to work. It was somewhat out of the way, but she wanted to see her friend's face as she heard the news. Katie was busy sketching away as usual. A huge smile lit up her face when she saw Natalie. "Hi, Natalie. What brings you here?" Katie said very happily. "I thought you might like to come to my wedding," She said lightly. Natalie found it very amusing how everyone seemed to be left speechless. Did they think it that unlikely she and Nick would ever marry? "I'd love to. Thanks! When is it?" "August twenty-seventh." Katie jumped up and pushed through her stuff looking for something. "Here it is." Katie handed her friend a very recent issue of one of the bridal magazines. "I like looking at the pictures. Besides, if you two hadn't figured out you belonged together, I was going to send you both copies as a not so subtle hint." "I knew it, but he was the one who had to realize it. I think the fact that I'm not going to live forever hit him. He realized that he had better act now." Katie looked like she wanted to ask something, but wasn't sure how. Natalie knew what she was thinking. "How did I know that he wasn't doing it for reasons other than love?" She saw Katie nod. "I didn't." Natalie let out a small chuckle. "I blew up at him after he proposed, when he mentioned that the wedding vows said 'in sickness and in health'. He said he wanted to be there for me." "What happened?" Katie asked, her body leaning forward hanging onto Natalie's words. "I hurt him with the things I said to him, but he didn't turn away. Instead, he made me see that he was doing it out of love, that he wanted to be my husband, no matter how bad things became. Even after I told him how bad things would get. When I saw the sincerity in his eyes, I had to say yes. I had waited years for this, and sometimes wondered if it would ever happen." "That is so romantic," Katie said, in that way teenagers talk about love. Natalie paused, taking Katie's hand into her own with a gentle squeeze. Katie saw the engagement ring and pulled Natalie's hand up where she could examine it more closely. "I love your ring. It's so cool. Antiques are in right now." "Thanks. It's a family heirloom. He told me it was his mother's," Natalie said, beaming with pride. "That's so cool. It means that he *does* really love you." Katie loved seeing the glow of true love emanating from every pore of her friend's body. "Don't forget to bring your sketchbook to the ceremony," Natalie said. "You really want me to do a sketch of you on such an important day?" "Yes. I can't think of a better wedding present." Natalie smiled, loving the dazed look Katie had. "You really know how to make someone feel special." Natalie thought that the teen would start bouncing off the walls at any moment or explode out of joy. "Let me guess, Grace is your Maid of Honor and Schanke's the best man. Who's giving you away?" "Very good," Natalie said, surprised at Katie's guesses. She hadn't realized how much Katie had paid attention to her friendships with Grace and Schanke. "Schanke's doing double duty." "Cool." "Have you picked out your dress, invitations, place?" "Not yet. I have an idea of what sort of dress I want." Natalie quickly flipped through the book looking for one like she wanted and found it near the back of the book. "You'll knock them all dead in that one. It'll look great on you." "Thanks." Natalie smiled even though she knew her wedding might be one of the last big events in her friend's life. "You know a month is not much time to get everything done." "I know." Natalie put an arm around Katie and smiled. "But I know it will come together beautifully with help from my friends." The next afternoon Natalie arrived at Nick's loft early, purposely neglecting to inform him of the invading force that would soon arrive. "Nat, what are you doing here?" Nick wondered as he looked up from his paints, caught by the unexpected visit. "I...umm... invited Grace and Myra over here this afternoon." She noticed his surprised expression. "I hope you don't mind. I wanted you to be a part of all the wedding preparations and knew this was the easiest way to do it." "That's fine." He smiled. "You thought if you told me before now, I might find somewhere else to be?" "Yeah." "It would be tempting, but I'd probably stay awhile out of curiosity" Nick said. "This does bring up several questions we have to answer. The first being where are we going to live? And the second is what name are you going to go by?" Natalie started to say something and felt his cool fingers against her warm lips. "I have no problem with you keeping Lambert for work because you've worked hard on your reputation." He removed his fingers as he was finished. "I like the sound of Natalie Knight for personal things." She said with a large smile on her lips. "I was hoping you'd understand my not wanting to change my work name. Also, it will be less confusing at work. If we were both at a crime scene under Knight..." He cut her off, "then they'd have to use Doctor or detective..." "Yeah. Also, out of habit they'd still call me Lambert, then feel bad about it." "You're so smart," he teased, earning him a playful slap on the arm. "That just leaves the question of where to live." "I think my apartment is a little small for the two of us, and we don't have time to find somewhere else," She said. "I've grown to consider this a second home. Even with the bad memories," She watched his expression change. "There is room enough here for both of us. We can remodel it to suit our needs. There's plenty of room for expansion as I own the whole building. Don't worry, it's not under my name, only the loft is." "I don't think we'll need that much room. All we need is another bedroom, and more closet space." They both knew that they would have to live together, since it would look odd otherwise. They also knew that they couldn't share the same bed, her heartbeat and scent would be too tempting day after day. "We couldn't have guests sleeping on the couch." Natalie said. "Could we share a bedroom? Or should we add one for me?" "I honestly don't know. I think if we had separate beds, we could share a room." Nick knew he owed her complete honesty. Natalie was pleased that he didn't evade the question. "More kitchen cabinets are needed too. Maybe another bathroom. Wouldn't it be easier to move?" Natalie asked. "Yeah, it probably would be. Would you be happier somewhere new?" "I don't care where I live, as long as it's with you," she said, softly and somewhat seductively as she wrapped her arms around him. They were drawn into a kiss, which was quickly disturbed by the intercom's buzz. Natalie walked over to the intercom and heard Grace's voice. She pressed the elevator release button. Moments after Grace stepped off the elevator the intercom buzzer sounded again. Natalie released the elevator allowing Myra to enter. "Nick, I'm glad to see you finally realized what Don and I've known for a long time," Myra said, slightly teasingly. "I was wondering if the two of you would ever admit you loved each other as more than friends. I'm glad you finally did." The three women took seats around Nick's coffee table. Grace had several different bride magazines which she pulled out of a canvas tote bag and laid on the table. Myra pulled a notebook from her bag and opened it to a list she had made up of all the things they had to accomplish. Natalie pulled out her list, and they compared notes. Grace found the page she had marked in one of the magazines because of the wedding checklist. The three of them saw many things that they had forgotten to include among their individual lists. Nick watched them, and was surprised when it made him happy rather than bored. He couldn't understand why most men were bored by wedding planning, then again most brides weren't dying. Watching Natalie plan for an event they both thought would never happen made it all the more interesting. "Nick, aren't you going to join us? You are a part of the wedding." Natalie called out. Nick brought over coffee for his friends and took the empty seat on the couch next to Natalie. "Nick, thanks for having us over," Grace said. "It was all Nat's idea." "Let's start at the beginning. Have you decided on what sort of a dress you want?" Myra asked. "Yes." Natalie showed them a picture of the one she liked. "Great choice," Grace said. Nick knew Natalie would be stunning in whatever she wore. He caught a glimpse of the dress she wanted and smiled as it would be particularly flattering on her. As the afternoon sun melted into early evening, Natalie excused herself to the powder room. She had to take her latest round of medication. Moments later she returned, taking her same seat. Before long a location was decided upon, as was the time of the wedding. When the discussion turned to the location of the wedding reception, Nick insisted on the best restaurant in town and arranging the decoration of their wedding site. The women were impressed with how involved he became on his own. "When Don and I were planning our wedding, I practically had to tie him to the chair in order to get him to help pick the site, menu and time. He told me to take care of things. I'm glad you're taking an active interest in it, Nick. It will make the event even more joyous." Nick couldn't believe how much planning there was for a simple wedding, and found himself glad that she hadn't taken his suggestion for an all out wedding. Neither the ladies nor Nick himself could believe how involved he had become in the planning. He was determined to make the wedding as elegant and elaborate as Natalie would allow. Grace and Myra loved watching the two lovers debate each decision they made. Flower arrangements were discussed, and soon decided upon. They decided to see what the local card stores had for invitations as it would take too long to have them printed and they needed nowhere near the 500 minimum for printing. When the subject of a honeymoon came up, Nick said that he had already arranged it. When the ladies tried to question him, he told them that it was a secret, and no one would know until he and Natalie arrived there. Nick excused himself for a few minutes and headed up towards his bedroom. He hoped the women assumed he was going to use the bathroom, instead he was arranging a surprise. About an hour later the women were talking about wrapping up for the day and began thinking about food. "Ladies, I made dinner reservations at Chez Francais. It's on me." Nick loved their stunned expressions. "Nick, that's so sweet of you," Natalie said as she rewarded him with a very nice, long kiss. When they separated, they heard cheers from their friends. "Nick, I can't let you spend that much on dinner," Myra said, knowing what his salary was. "I insist. I have a small inheritance, so it isn't that much of a financial drain," Nick said with a big smile. "Okay," Myra said, giving in. She knew if she continued to protest, she'd only hurt his feelings, which was the last thing she wanted to do. "Thank you." "I thought you three might like a ladies night out." The next afternoon Natalie, Grace and Myra went dress shopping. They didn't spend much time looking at wedding dresses since Nick was having Natalie's dress tailor made. Natalie saw the slightly envious looks and grinned. The main purpose of this outing was for Grace and Myra to find something to wear to the wedding. They knew that shopping was more fun with someone than alone. Grace wanted to make sure her dress met with Natalie's approval as she would be standing next to the bride. Later that evening Natalie and Nick stopped by his tailor, who was one of the people Nick had helped in the past. Nick had helped him and his wife overcome an extortionist's threats. For this the elderly couple accommodated Nick's quirks and saw him whenever he needed new items for his wardrobe. They had become friends as well. Nick made sure that they always had enough money either through his purchases and tips, or referrals. Nick wanted his and Natalie's wedding attire to fit perfectly. He introduced Natalie to the tailor and his wife and explained what he wanted. The elderly couple were more than happy to help, acting a little like parents as they were excited about the upcoming wedding. "Nick, I won't have you here while I'm being fitted for the dress. Don't you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the wedding?" Natalie wasn't superstitious, but with the luck they had had, she wasn't taking any chances. "Okay. We do need all the luck we can get," He said lightly, knowing how bad their luck had been. They happily took Natalie's measurements so that the gown would fit her every curve perfectly. The next afternoon Natalie returned to the tailor to pick out the material for her dress. She brought a picture of the dress she wanted with her. When she showed it to them, they agreed that it was an excellent choice. Natalie couldn't believe how many different kinds of lace there were, as she tried to find the perfect one for her dress. When Natalie finished at the tailor shop, she headed for the loft because she and Nick had some remodeling to plan. Nick heard the elevator start and was waiting for her at the door, opening it when he heard the motor stop. "Hi. How'd it go at the tailor?" "Very good. Remember no peeking." "I promise I won't peek." Nick held up his hand in the way one does when giving an oath in court. "Where do you want to start?" "How about with the upstairs? I think the two new bedrooms should go there." Natalie pointed to the wall where Nick's bedroom was, she wanted all three rooms placed one after the other. "It will keep the loft nice and spacious. The kitchen definitely needs a major renovation." Nick just watched, nodding his approval. "Since the plumbing's there we'll have to keep the sink there. We'll stick a dishwasher next to it. There should be an island here with a cooktop and lots of counter space." Natalie pointed to a space in front of the sink. "The fridge will have to stay since it's built into the wall. The two ovens can go over here." She pointed to an area at a ninety degree angle from the sink. "Cabinets will go here and here. Under the island as well." She pointed to the spaces between the sink and future oven location, as well as what would be above the oven. "Maybe some more on this side." Nick grinned. "What?" "Nothing." Off her look he continued. "You know, you could have a second career as a remodeler or an interior decorator." She saw he was being completely serious. "Medicine's enough, but this is fun." She smiled. "Men don't understand the importance of enough storage space, vampiric ones especially." "I suppose that's true. I keep most of my stuff in storage, but I know what you mean." He knew she was talking about places to keep all the groceries, pots, pans, and dishes mortals required. "I forgot about that. Sorry." "No problem," He smiled and dropped a quick kiss onto the top of her head. The intercom interrupted them. "Did I tell you I arranged an appointment with an architect for tonight? "No, you didn't. Is that him?" "It should be." Nick walked over to the intercom. "Hello?" "Daniel Reade. I'm the architect you hired." Nick buzzed the man in. "Nick, are you sure sharing a room won't be too tempting?" "It'll be fine. I don't think I'd like not having you in the same room." The smile she gave him warmed his cold heart. "Can we remodel your room as well? If we're going to share it, it will need more closet space and a larger bathroom." "You can do anything you want to the loft." He dropped another quick kiss onto her on the cheek. Before long the architect entered the loft and was introduced to Natalie. Once the greetings were over Daniel set up his notebook computer on the kitchen table and was ready to work. Natalie described the changes she wanted to the architect and watched as he entered it into a computerized version of the existing floor plan. She started with the renovations to Nick's room. Nick insisted the room have both a shower and a Jacuzzi, which would double as a bathtub. She didn't protest because she had always wanted one of them. Natalie pointed out where she wanted the bathroom and closets in each bedroom, and the size of each item. She made all three bedrooms the same width, so that the rooms would line up smoothly from the downstairs view. When Nick and Natalie had finished with their ideas the architect double checked everything. Daniel showed a three-dimensional version of the finished product, pleased when they both smiled. "I don't see any problems with the design. Mr. Knight, I'll get back to you about scheduling." Nick had told Daniel not to mention the financial stuff, not wanting Natalie to worry about the cost. "Okay." The architect packed up his computer and left. Natalie waited until the elevator was well on its way down before voicing a concern she had. "Nick, this is going to take at least a month, probably longer. You know my place isn't sun proof." "I hope you don't mind but I arranged for them to come tomorrow night. I know you have to work. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible so that it won't hold up construction here." He saw the uneasiness throughout her body. "I'll stay with them as long as anyone's there." "Thanks." She knew he understood her apprehension at having strangers in her apartment. Ever since the rape she'd been even more hesitant to allow repairmen into her apartment, and never allowed them in when she wasn't home. When she was home she tried to have Nick or a friend with her. The next night Nick kept an eye on the workers who were installing his special shutters on Natalie's apartment windows. He read while he watched. The workmen had been used by the Community many times before. They were always very well paid for their work, and if something was stolen or the workmanship was shoddy the crewmembers responsible disappeared. Natalie stopped by her apartment on her dinner break to check up on things and saw that they were making good progress. Her living room and bedroom had been finished, leaving just the kitchen to do. Nick and Natalie stopped by the Raven the next evening, on their way to work. Janette spotted them as soon as they entered and was surprised to see them. Nick and Natalie approached Janette, who was seated at the bar. "Natalie, Nicola, what brings you by?" Janette asked quite curious. "We came to invite you to our wedding," Natalie said. She and Nick decided that she should be the one to offer the invitation, so Janette would know it was truly from both of them. "Congratulations." Janette motioned for drinks. Two filled champagne flutes and a wine glass with a dark colored substance were set upon the bar. Janette handed Nick and Natalie each a glass of sparkling cider while she took the wine glass, knowing that Natalie's medications prevented her from drinking champagne, or any alcohol. She raised her glass in salute. Natalie and Nick followed suit. "When is the wedding?" Janette asked. "August twenty-seventh." Natalie handed Janette an envelope containing the official invitation. "That's so quick." Janette examined the invitation. It was printed on white paper with wedding bells in one corner and a white ribbon trailing down the side. Janette figured that Natalie's condition was one of the main reasons for the date they'd picked. "We realized we'd waited long enough, and wanted to marry as soon as possible," Natalie said. At Janette's inquiring look, Nick said, "We finally admitted we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together." Nick saw Janette's eyebrows rise in surprise. "No, we're not ready for that step yet." Janette understood what he meant, and wondered how long before Natalie was brought across. Janette picked up Natalie's hand to get a close look at the engagement ring and recognized it. "Natalie, did he tell you the history of your ring?" "Yes," Natalie said with a smile. "He never gave this ring to me. I remember seeing it a very long time ago. I'm glad he finally found the right woman to give it to." "Thank you, Janette," Natalie said. "Can we count on your attendance?" Nick asked, hoping his vampiric sister would be there for him. "As long as it isn't being held in a church." Janette knew that they both wanted her there, and it did pique her curiosity. "It's not. Neither of us wanted it held there," Natalie said. She knew churches still bothered Nick. Also, she had trouble believing in any God after all the disasters in her life, especially the rape and now the HIV. Nick happened to glance at his watch, "Janette, we hate to invite and run, but we have one other stop to make before work," Nick said, uneasy. He knew the trouble this might stir up, but had to risk it. "You're inviting him? This will be most interesting," Janette said trying to keep from letting them know they had once again surprised her. She had detected her sibling's apprehension and now knew why. "Yes," Natalie said. "I know if we don't, he'll do something to ruin the day. Besides, he should be there," Nick said. "How I wish I could be there to see the look on his face," Janette said. "Don't worry, I won't go." Once out of the Raven, Natalie and Nick headed for CERK. Before long they arrived and were shown to LaCroix's private office. As they entered they saw LaCroix seated behind his desk, indulging in his favorite vintage. "What brings the two of you here?" "We came to invite you to our wedding," Natalie said, hiding the uneasiness she always felt around the ancient vampire. Both Natalie and Nick were rewarded with a split second look of complete surprise on the master vampire's face, before the usual neutral mask slipped back into place. "Nicholas, have you learned nothing?" LaCroix taunted. "I have. I won't be attempting to bring her across on our wedding night." Nick was glad he had told Natalie about Alyssa. Natalie handed LaCroix an invitation. He examined it with that annoyingly neutral expression of his. "Why so quickly? Did the good doctor accidentally wind up with child, and you're doing the honorable thing?" "No. I'm not pregnant," Natalie said, quite surprised and a little annoyed. "We're doing it out of love." Nick knew that this move might threaten Natalie's life, but it was better than having the wedding ruined by one of LaCroix's nasty scenes. LaCroix was most curious as to why Nick would do this, especially with the bargain still between them. LaCroix silently told himself. "Will you be attending?" Nick asked. His glare warning his master that he would tolerate no disruption of the event. "I will attend, out of simple curiosity." Natalie faked their blood test results to hide both their secrets. She didn't want any trouble because of her HIV status and Nick's blood would raise too many questions. They spent their nights off selecting a justice of the peace to perform the ceremony, a photographer, a videographer, and a band to play at the reception. They had to pick a song for their wedding and another one for them to have the first dance to at their reception. They had to pick a restaurant at which to hold the wedding reception, then figure out how many would be attending as well as the menu. They also had to order the wedding cake. Neither Nick nor Natalie realized how many different types of wedding cakes there were to chose from. The short time span between the proposal and wedding date created a few problems, some of which could not be solved with a heavy cash bonus. A few days later, Natalie arrived for her latest dress fitting. She was surprised by how much progress they had made. The body of the dress was sewn together. The sleeves had yet to be added. The lace and beading had yet to be applied. Nick met her there after her fitting because they were to go pick up their marriage license and pick out wedding rings. After looking in several stores Nick and Natalie found a pair of simple matching rings they liked. The ring had a gold band around the top and the bottom with a band of platinum in the middle. They skipped the engraving, neither feeling it was necessary as they knew in their hearts all they needed to know. There was also the time constraint, especially since the jeweler was backlogged for several weeks. During the week, Nick moved his furniture to the storage area in the basement of his building, packed up the rest of his stuff, most of which was carried down to the storage area. He set aside his clothing and his most valuable stuff to take to Natalie's apartment. While Nick had been doing that Natalie had been going through her stuff seeing what she could pack away to make room for Nick. He had offered to share his storage space with her, an offer she quickly snapped up knowing how hard it was to find good, safe storage space. Her own tiny storage space in the basement of her building was full. Nick and Natalie spent their next two night's dinner breaks carrying boxes from her apartment to his car, transporting them to his storage area and arranging them so she could get at them whenever she needed to. She had worn her scrubs so she wouldn't get her suit dirty. Squabbles broke out whenever he tried to give her only the easy things to carry. She protested, stating that she was still fully capable of helping. He knew she was right, but couldn't help himself. Natalie arrived at Nick's the next night, dressed in jeans and an oversized sweatshirt, sneakers completing the outfit. Her hair was confined by a scrunchi. Both were glad it was their night off so they could move Nick's stuff in one shot. "Nick, where do you want to start?" Natalie noticed the loft was almost empty. There were a few boxes scattered around the loft. "Where did the furniture go?" "I moved it to the basement storage area," Nick said. "How much room did you make for me?" "Enough, I hope," Natalie responded. "How about carrying that box to the car. It's not too heavy." Nick pointed to a box over by the kitchen Natalie picked up the box noticing that it was quite light. "Nick, I thought we settled this last night. I can carry heavier stuff." "I know. I don't want to tire you out on the first load. Don't forget what's loaded has to be unloaded." "Okay." About two and a half hours later, Nick and Natalie had both cars packed with the essential things he was bringing over to her place. Essential being clothing and his most valuable possessions. They headed for her apartment, Nick following behind Natalie. They parked, and started carrying the boxes to the main elevator. When they had a full load they took it up her apartment. Since it was late night, they knew they could tie up the elevator because not too many people would be using it at that hour. Natalie had forgotten how hard lugging such stuff was and tired near the end of the job. Nick noticed. "Nat, why don't you take some of the lighter stuff and keep an eye on the stuff inside." Natalie wanted to complain, and got as far as opening her mouth before realizing that he was just trying to look out for her. He was right, why shouldn't he carry the heavier stuff? He could do it much easier than she could. Natalie heated up a frozen dinner after she'd brought up her last load. Dinner had almost finished heating by the time Nick brought up the last of his stuff. "Where do I stow my stuff?" Nick inquired, as he looked around her box filled apartment. His clothes were draped across her couch. Natalie showed him the space she had made for him in the closet as well as the drawer space she cleared out for him. "Is that all the space I get?" He teased. "You try making space in a closet this size," she said, her voice holding the same tone as his had. "Have you ever thought about slimming down your wardrobe?" "I could ask you the same thing." Nick was enjoying their bantering and could tell she was as well. Natalie's dinner beeped. She was starving and quickly retrieved her food. She brought her dinner into the bedroom so she could watch him unpack and try to fit his clothes within the allotted space. His green wine bottles were stored in a small area off to the side of her fridge alongside her food. Two hours later Natalie couldn't keep from yawning, something which caught Nick's attention. "Nat, why don't you get some sleep. I can do the rest of the unpacking tomorrow." "Sounds good." Natalie stifled a yawn. "I hope you don't mind the couch." "I don't. We don't get sore from sleeping the wrong way." Natalie figured that was logical and headed into her bedroom. "Good night, Nick." "Night, Nat." She brushed her teeth and took her medication before changing for bed. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Nick grabbed the pillow and blanket from the coat closet and made up the couch. He didn't mind. He closed the shutters as the sky was just beginning to lighten and settled himself on the couch, falling asleep to the sound of Natalie's heartbeat. The next afternoon both Nick and Natalie awoke around the same time. Nick knew Natalie needed her coffee first thing in the morning and had a pot ready when she entered the kitchen a few minutes later. "Thanks." Natalie said as she poured herself a cup. "Who gets the bathroom first?" She sipped her coffee, needing the caffeine to jump start both her body and her mind. "Why don't you take it first. I'd hate to accidentally use up all the hot water," he said. A small grin spread across his lips as he looked at his lovely bride to be. "Thanks. I'll try to save you some." When he continued to stare at her, she had to ask "what?" "Sorry. You look great first thing in the morning." "I do not." She knew her hair was a mess, and cotton pajamas were anything but romantic. "I'm a mess." She said as she sipped more of her coffee. "No you're not." Nick kissed her on the forehead before nudging her towards the bathroom. Natalie showered and brushed her teeth before taking her morning pills. She hated the big, fat capsules as they were the hardest to get down, even with lots of water. The others weren't as bad, even though there were more of them, because they were much smaller. She let Nick have the bathroom while she dressed. They stopped by the loft on their way into work because construction had started that morning, and they wanted to check on how it was going. Over the next few days, Natalie signed up for the Bridal Registry in her favorite stores, remembering how she hated the times she'd been invited to friend's weddings where the bride hadn't done that, leaving her with no idea what to get the happy couple. Natalie mailed the invitations to her friends, hoping that the short notice wouldn't prevent them from attending. Nick arranged for Natalie's friends to stay at a fine hotel near the wedding location as well as transportation for them. Every night Nick stopped by the loft on his way to work, and at least once during his shift to check on things. If time permitted he also checked on it after work, on his way back to Natalie's. Natalie checked on it on her way home and again sometime in the afternoon. They wanted to make sure they caught any errors, hopefully, in time to fix them without causing any major problems or delays. Unknown to her, Nick had hinted at the fact that if the construction crew did a great job there would be a good sized bonus for everyone. He noticed the workers making sure they did their absolute best, wanting the bonus. They used the best quality materials, as specified in the plans, and didn't cheat as they often did on other sites. Nick made sure that all the wedding preparations went as smoothly as possible knowing Natalie had enough on her mind, but also knew that she'd worry about it no matter what he did. He and Natalie still had a lot to do. They had to finalize things with the photographer, videographer, band, the justice of the peace who was doing the ceremony. They also had to finalize the sites for the wedding and reception. She had to change her drivers license, bank accounts, credit cards, and social security to Natalie Lambert Knight. This way she could use either Natalie Lambert or Natalie Knight and be covered. It was a week before the wedding and both Nick and Natalie were showing signs of premarital jitters, not to mention cold feet. They squabbled with each other, and with those around them. Schanke laughed at them once and was nearly killed by the not so happy couple. He remembered when he and Myra were going through that phase. Whenever Nick and Natalie had a disagreement in Natalie's office, Grace made them kiss and makeup before she'd let either leave the room. Once or twice it took a bit of coaxing and once it took a threat before Nick and Natalie made up. Most of the fights were over trivial stuff, little things that were usually briefly mentioned and easily worked out. The next afternoon Natalie tried on her dress for the last time before taking it to Grace's. She didn't want Nick to accidentally see it. She still couldn't believe how beautiful she looked in her dress, and couldn't wait to see Nick's reaction. It looked better than any of the dresses she had seen in the magazines. It fit her body perfectly, which was the point of having it tailor made. The tailor and his wife were thrilled by Natalie's reaction to their efforts. They had to agree that the dress and her were perfectly matched. The following afternoon Grace held the bridal shower at her apartment. Paper bells and streamers decorated the room. The dining room table was covered with a selection of different foods, most of them Natalie's favorites. Grace had picked a few others that matched the occasion. Natalie's friends were there to celebrate the upcoming wedding. Most of them had no problem coming in early so they could attend the bridal shower. Myra and Katie were there as well. The first thing Grace did was to suggest that Natalie take a seat on the couch so she could open the small mound of gifts. Natalie opened the one from Grace first and found a really sexy royal blue nightie. Her friends grinned at the blush it brought to the medical examiner's cheeks. "Thanks, Grace," Natalie said, wondering if Nick would ever get to see her in it. Natalie opened Nancy's gift next and found a copy of "How To Have A Fun, Exciting Marriage" inside. Natalie's cheeks turned a bit more red, eliciting giggles from her friends. Nancy passed the book around so that everyone could check it out, especially the parts about keeping one's love life sizzling. "Thanks, Nancy. I'll remember this," Natalie teased, mischievously. Katie pouted because the adults wouldn't let her see the book. Natalie picked it up off the coffee table and handed it Katie, to the shock of everyone else. Natalie knew Katie would never get to experience any of it, so at least she could check out the book. That thought brought a sadness to her eyes as she was reminded that she too would be terminally ill at some point in the not too distant future. "Nat, is everything okay?" Grace asked, more curious than ever. She truly wondered if there was something seriously wrong with her friend. "I'm okay." Natalie knew the best way to change the subject, and felt a little guilty for what she was about to do. "Katie, how's the book?" She teased, loving the extreme blush that had spread across the her young friend's face. Grace knew Natalie had purposely changed the subject and wasn't going to spoil the party by upsetting the guest of honor. Her curiosity would wait until another day. "It... it's ... interesting," Katie stammered quite embarrassed. Grace remembered that Katie was dying and knew why Natalie had handed her the book. She found that scene amusing, and felt a little sorry for Katie. If she hadn't asked Natalie if she was okay then Katie wouldn't have been embarrassed. Natalie opened Myra's gift next, giving Katie a break. Tucked inside the gift box Natalie found a very sexy blue teddy and a very seductive pair of men's briefs. Both the teddy and brief's came with a matching robe "We can't allow him to have all the fun, can we?" Myra teased, seeing Natalie's slight confusion. "No, we can't," all the adults agreed. Natalie started to unwrap Katie's gift and noticed Katie felt a little out of place as her gift wasn't like the others. A large smile crossed Natalie's face as she found a framed drawing of Nick on his knee proposing to Natalie. Katie had kept the background plain so it wouldn't detract from the main action. Natalie and Nick's love clearly shown through. "Katie, this is gorgeous. Thank you." Natalie showed the framed sketch to the gathered group. She was deeply touched by the gift. "It's just like what happened. He was all nervous, had me concerned that something was wrong and led me to the couch. When I sat down he got down on one knee and proposed to me." "Cool." Katie said excitedly, nearly bouncing. Katie once again blushed as everyone complimented her work. They couldn't believe how talented she was. "I'm glad you like it. I didn't know what to get you. This is my first bridal shower." "The secret to a good gift is to either pick something from the bridal registry or even better is to give a gift from the heart," Natalie said. "I couldn't have asked for a better gift than this. I can't wait to show it to Nick." Katie heard the sincerity in the words, her smile growing until it could grow no further. Her eyes twinkled with joy. Bonnie's gift was a selection of lotions to make the honeymoon night special. Once again Natalie blushed. Natalie passed them around, while Bonnie told everyone to rub a little onto their hand, breathe on it and taste it. After watching the other's Katie even did it, and found it most interesting. She never knew lotion could heat up or be that tasty. Janette dropped by as soon as the sun went down with the explanation of business meetings keeping her swamped all day. Janette handed Natalie her gift, enjoying the surprised look on Natalie and Grace's faces. She knew that neither had expected her to come. "I couldn't miss the fun," Janette said. "Natalie's taking one of the biggest steps in her life and needs all her friends around." Natalie saw the wicked gleam in Janette's eyes and tried not to grin. She undid the velvety maroon ribbon holding the package closed and lifted off the lid. Inside was a beautiful wooden jewelry box. The top was covered with an exquisite inlaid design. It definitely was an antique, but was in pristine condition. "It's gorgeous. Thank you, Janette." "I do have one more gift, but this one is for both you and Nick." Janette said a she handed another gift to Natalie. Natalie noticed it was rather large and rather heavy. She removed the ribbon and bow holding the box closed. She opened the box, pushing aside the tissue paper. Her cheeks turned their brightest shade of red yet as she saw the title. She looked at Janette and saw a big mischievous grin playing across the vampire's face. "I don't know what to say." "Enjoy." Janette said as she watched Natalie's face grow even redder. "What is it?" Nancy asked. Bonnie pulled the box away from Natalie, which wasn't too hard to do as their friend was a bit stunned. Bonnie pulled the book out of the box and held it up for all to see. It was the Kama Sutra. Grins and some giggles broke out across the room, with the exception of Katie who looked confused. The book was passed around as everyone mortal was curious about this book. All the mortals but Katie had heard of it. No mortal there had ever seen it. This time they allowed Katie to see it, knowing that it was okay with Natalie. Katie was stunned by the pictures, as television and movies was the only sex she'd ever seen. Becky's gift was next. Natalie opened the small flat box and found a gift certificate for dinner for two at Azure. Natalie was momentarily stunned when she saw the name, wondering if Nick would take her there. She remembered her last visit there, even though Nick and LaCroix thought she didn't. "Thanks, Becky." Janette noticed the spark of recognition, wondering if either Nick or LaCroix knew Natalie remembered. She wouldn't mention it as it was none of her business. Natalie opened the rest of her gifts, thanking each friend. After all the gifts were opened, and Natalie had been suitably attired with the bows, the food table was descended upon by the hungry ladies. They chatted while they ate. Janette saw Natalie standing over by the food, looking a bit depressed and knew the best cure. Natalie saw Janette approach and wasn't sure what was coming next. "Relax. I'm sorry if my gift embarrassed you. I thought the two of you might enjoy it." Janette said as she mentioned a few of the better positions from the book. She loved watching Natalie's face turn red again. "Thanks for the gift. It took me by surprise. Who knows, maybe there's something in there Nick and I can use." "There are." Janette's wicked grin was back. She was glad to see that she had brightened her friend's spirit. Bonnie approached. "Natalie, you have to tell us how well the books and other gifts work." "Well, if she comes to work happy every night I'd say they work," Grace teased. "If she and Nick become parents, then it will work," Carol said. Myra knew that statement would upset her friend. One look at Natalie's face told her that she was right. "Did I say something wrong?" Carol asked as she saw the sudden sadness cross Natalie's face. "No." Natalie wasn't sure she wanted them to know she couldn't have children. When she saw that no one believed her she knew it was the best way to end the questioning. "I can't have children." "I'm so sorry. I never meant to upset you," Carol said, feeling bad for upsetting her friend. "It's okay. You couldn't have known." Grace knew it was time for a game. "I thought we'd have a little fun by having the guest of honor sing her favorite love song." Grace loved the horrified look on Natalie's face. "Just kidding." Grace enjoyed the tremendous wave of relief which swept over her friend, grinning at the light threat of revenge Natalie's eyes expressed When the party was over, Natalie thanked Grace, knowing the how much trouble a party was. Especially one that had to be thrown together without much notice. Natalie's friends helped her carry the gifts to her car since they were heading that direction anyway. The night before the wedding approached. Grace and Schanke were sure the couple would jump out of their skin before the happy event. Either that or call it off due to an extreme case of nerves and cold feet. Grace had invited Natalie to stay over at her apartment, which Natalie happily accepted as they hadn't had much time to talk outside of work. They relaxed, talked and enjoyed themselves. Grace made sure Natalie went to bed early enough so she wouldn't be overtired for her wedding. Meanwhile Nick was being escorted to his bachelor party. He hoped Schanke had the good sense not to do anything too wild. Both Nick and Schanke knew that Natalie and Myra, would kill them if they messed up the wedding due to being hung over or oversleeping. Nick entered a conference room at a local hotel. He saw a bar at one end and a small snack selection on a table next to the bar. There was a large screen TV at the other end of the room and several padded metal chairs in front of the screen. "Schanke, you didn't have to do this," Nick said. "Yes, I did. You're here to celebrate your last night of freedom." "Something I'm happily giving up for the woman I love." "Wise choice of words, but they're not needed here. After all, many of us have been where you are." Nick's coworkers congratulated him. Some patting him on the back while others just offered advice. They enjoyed seeing how nervous the groom was, as little seemed to faze Nick one way or another most of the time. Schanke shoved the videocassette into the VCR and hit play. Tacky music filled the air as an adult movie started. The mortal men made use of the cash bar and snacks. Nick had a glass of red wine so that he wouldn't look out of place. Nick felt a presence, he turned to see his father standing just inside the doorway. Nick's glare told LaCroix that he had better behave himself. Nick reluctantly introduced LaCroix as an old family friend. Schanke and the rest of the guys in attendance were surprised by this tiny glimpse into Nick's private life. LaCroix was very polite the entire evening, even joined his son in a glass of pure red wine. Later in the evening a chestnut haired lady in doctor's scrubs and a lab coat entered the room. Music played as she began to dance, slowly removing her attire. She focused most of her attention on Nick, who tolerated it because it was the mortal thing to do. LaCroix had a very small amused grin on his face. He enjoyed watching the stupid mortals with their mindless diversions, and his son trying to fit in with them. When Natalie and Grace awoke the next afternoon, Grace fixed Natalie a light breakfast, knowing that if she ate a heavy breakfast it might make her sick. She didn't want her best friend throwing up because she ate too much, Nat's stomach growling in the middle of the ceremony, or her own making that dreadful rumbling noise. When Natalie wasn't hungry Grace convinced her to eat, saying it wouldn't do for the bride to pass out at her own wedding due to lack of food. Natalie chuckled, having to agree with that. She was grateful to Grace for making her feel normal. For the time she was there she was able to forget about the deadly virus within and enjoy herself, except for the three times she had to take her medication. As they dressed that morning Natalie heard a knock on her door. "Natalie, you dressed?" "Yes. Come in." Grace entered with a small velvety box in her hand. "I couldn't let you get married without following the old traditions." Natalie looked at her confused, then it hit her. "I have something old, something new, I need something borrowed and something blue." "I can solve the something borrowed part," Grace said as she handed Natalie the box. Natalie took the box and opened it, a smile spreading across her lips as she saw the beautiful pearl earrings inside. "Thank you. They're gorgeous." "Don't worry about the something blue. That's easy enough to take care of." "Okay. I won't." Grace, Natalie, Nick and Schanke all arrived at the old building on time. Grace and Schanke had agreed to keep the happy couple apart until time for the ceremony. Myra and Jenny arrived a few minutes later. The outside of the building was rather drab, not exactly the cheerful sort of place you'd expect a wedding to be held. Natalie, Grace and Myra were surprised when they entered the dressing room, as it had been filled with a mixture of roses and wild flowers, white roses being absent from the arrangement. Against one wall there was a full length mirror so the bride could make sure she looked perfect before walking down the aisle. Jenny was thrilled she had been given the important task of helping Amanda Cohen greet the small number of invited guests. Jenny's job was to take their coats and show them to their seats. Amanda enjoyed watching the happy young girl eagerly doing her job. Bonnie, Nancy, Katie, Becky, Kim, and several other of Natalie's old friends arrived. Both Katie and Jenny were glad that there was another young person around. Janette and LaCroix arrived, her arm tucked through his. Katie had on a beautiful royal blue dress, with the necklace and charm holder Natalie and Nick gave her. She also had on simple gold hoop earrings. Jenny had on a fancy floral print dress with white tights and patent leather shoes, but she didn't look completely comfortable or happy in her attire. Janette was dressed in a sleek dark maroon silk dress. LaCroix was dressed in a sharp looking black tux. In the dressing room Grace helped Natalie zip up the back of her dress. Grace was already dressed for the ceremony, in a peach colored dress. The silky fabric fell to just below her knees. "Natalie, you are going to knock him off his feet," Grace said with a smile. Natalie's dress was white and came down to the floor, but was lacking a train. It was too formal for their occasion and always seemed to be in the way. The dress had a wide v neckline showing just a hint of cleavage. The entire body of the dress was covered in lace, tiny glass beads and pearls. The sleeves were lace and had a very slight puff to them at the top and then were straight, stopping at the wrist. Natalie had the barrette Janette had given her a couple of years ago for her birthday holding back some of her hair as the something old, Grace's pearls as the something borrowed, her dress was the something new. "Natalie, here." Myra gave Natalie a blue garter, causing the bride to smile. "Now I'm all set." Natalie said as she slipped the garter half way up her thigh. In the groom's dressing room Nick was a nervous wreck. It had been a very long time since he had last been preparing to wed. Schanke helped Nick tie his bout, a little surprised that Nick had opted for the real thing rather than a clip on one. "You ready, partner?" Schanke asked, already decked out in his tux. "Yes." Nick said. "Do you have the ring?" Nick started to panic, being unable to remember what he'd done with the ring. "It's tucked away nice and safe in my pocket." Schanke patted his pocket to double check for himself and reassure Nick. He saw Nick breathe a sigh of relief. "How about heading down to the Justice of the Peace and I'll go get the bride? Before long there was a knock on the door to the bride's dressing room. "Natalie, you ready?" Schanke asked through the door. Myra opened the door and stood back. Don's jaw dropped as he got his first look at the bride. "Wow!" was all he could say. He saw a slight blush creeping across her cheeks and grinned. "Thanks," Natalie said with a nervous smile. She felt the butterflies in her stomach momentarily ease before increasing in intensity. Natalie thought as she took a deep breath. Myra knew that was her cue to head out to her seat. As she entered the main room she motioned for the music to start. Grace headed down the aisle, her eyes filled with joy, and took her place. When Natalie and Don approached the main room she hooked her arm in his. She saw the pride on his face as he escorted her down the aisle. The wedding march playing in the background. He saw the sheer joy in her eyes during their walk to the groom. Her bouquet was the same mixture of roses and wildflowers that had been in the dressing room. She was stunned to see the two hundred lighted candles, their flames softly illuminating the room. Roses of every color, but white, decorated the base of each candle holder and the sides of the aisle. Wildflowers mixed with the roses decorated the arch under which the bride and groom would stand. Natalie thought. She now understood why Nick had said he'd take care of the interior of the site. All eyes focused on Natalie. All this attention made her a little uneasy, but she relaxed and enjoyed herself. She had waited far too long to let anything spoil this evening. As Nick saw his wife-to-be a look of complete joy overtook him. He was stunned at her beauty. She looked more gorgeous than he'd ever seen her before. Natalie's smiled widened and her joy grew as she observed her soon-to-be-husband's reaction. It was exactly the reaction she had hoped for. When the bride and Best Man reached the groom, Don took his place beside Nick. A different piece of music started. A young male friend of theirs sang 'More Than You'll Ever Know'. The Justice of the Peace began. "Dearly beloved we are gathered together today to join two people in holy matrimony." He paused a moment before continuing. "Nick and Natalie have chosen to write their own vows, and will now recite them." "Natalie, you are my one true love. I never knew I could feel such love before I met you. You filled a dark empty void within me. You touched me in ways I never thought possible. I love your smile, your laughter, your intelligence, your humor and your beauty. It is a beauty that comes from within as well as without." Nick paused a moment. "I will do everything in my power to see that your life is filled with the best I have to offer. You have me body and soul... forever." Nick, you are my soulmate, the half that makes me feel whole. You touched me in ways I never thought possible. I love your smile, your gentleness, the way you can always make me feel good about myself, your intelligence and your humor. I knew you were special from the moment I met you. It was then that I knew we were meant to be together." She paused a moment, wiping away a stray tear. "I will do my best to see that our every day is filled with love. I give myself to you body and soul... forever." Grace, Myra, and Katie found themselves wiping the tears from their eyes as they heard their friends' heartfelt pledges of love. Janette looked pleased while LaCroix had his neutral mask firmly in place to hide his true feelings. "Do you Natalie Lambert take Nicholas Knight to be your husband?" The Justice asked. "I do." Natalie took the gold band from Grace's hand and lovingly slipped it onto her husband's finger. "Do you Nicholas Knight take Natalie Lambert to be your wife?" "I do." Right on cue Don handed Nick the gold ring he held in his hand. Nick took the ring and lovingly slipped it on his bride's finger. "Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Large smiles spread across not only Nick and Natalie's faces, but those of their friends as well. All but LaCroix's. Nick and Natalie met in a tender, passionate kiss. One that went on for at least a minute before they parted. "I now announce Mr. and Mrs. Knight." The Justice said as his last official act of the ceremony. Nick and Natalie walked down the aisle towards the door. Rice was tossed at them as they walked out the door towards the horse and carriage awaiting them. It was a little cool outside but neither minded. Nick helped Natalie into the horse drawn carriage, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. The back of the carriage had a colorful sign reading "just married". "Nick, thank you for the perfect wedding," Natalie said, tears streaming from her eyes. "You're welcome." He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. About twenty minutes later the carriage arrived at the restaurant which was the reception site. Nick and Natalie noticed their friends' vehicles in the parking lot on their way in. When the Maitre'D saw Natalie in her gown and Nick in his tux they knew which room to lead them to. Nick and Natalie entered their reception to the cheers of their friends and family, all but LaCroix. "Thank you. Eat, drink, enjoy," Nick said. The newlyweds headed for the buffet line as they were supposed to take the first servings. Natalie filled up her plate with her favorites as well as a few of the other items while Nick only took a tiny bit of a few things. Once the couple had served themselves everyone else filled their plates, noticing that there were a few of everyone's favorites as part of the selections. The buffet had been chosen so that the guests as well as the happy couple could mingle as they pleased rather than being tied to a specific seat at a certain table. After everyone was finished with dinner the wedding cake was brought in. It was three tiers of white frosting decorated with perfect red, yellow and pink frosting roses. The figures on top of the cake had a little badge on the blonde groom and a caduceus on the brown haired bride. "Okay, who did this?" Natalie inquired playfully. "It's cute." No one owned up to modifying the cake figures, which was no surprise to the group. Nick and Natalie approached and were handed the knife. Natalie gripped it with Nick's hand over hers. They cut the first slice. Natalie scooped it onto a plate held by Nick. Each took the fork handed them and dug into the cake. They fed each other a bite of cake, Nick missing Natalie's mouth the first time, leaving a blob of frosting on the tip of her nose. Her smile turned mischievous as she allowed the fork to find it's mark the first time, Nick's mouth. Her other hand grabbed a bite and before anyone knew it, Nick found the handful smashed into his face. Nick wasn't about to let that go unchallenged and grabbed a chunk from the plate and was about to get revenge when he heard. "Don't you even think about it," Natalie warned. She grew concerned when it only caused his grin to grow even more mischievous. Before she could say anything else she felt frosting and cake making contact with her face. She kissed him spreading the mess further across their faces. When the beast threatened to surface Nick broke the kiss and tried not to pull too far away, not wanting to draw attention to it. He grabbed a napkin and began wiping the cake off his lovely bride's face. They both excused themselves a moment and headed for the restrooms. "Now don't be gone too long," Grace teased causing the couple to blush. Nick and Natalie returned a few minutes later with no traces of frosting or cake remaining. They were pleased to see their friends eating the cake. A few minutes later the band began to play. Natalie gathered all the single females in the room for the bouquet toss. They all gathered with Grace and Katie up front, along with Nancy and Bonnie. Janette hung in the back, having been coaxed into playing along. Natalie turned her back to the crowd and tossed the bouquet over her shoulder. When Natalie turned back around she saw the huge smile on Katie's face and the flowers in her hand. She was glad her aim had been accurate. The other ladies congratulated Katie and teased her. Katie looked over at Natalie, who had big grin on her face. A chair was placed near Natalie, which she sat on. Don was blushing as he was supposed to remove the garter belt. Natalie wore a wicked grin as well as a slight blush. Don was a little embarrassed as he reached up to remove the garter, accompanied by stripping music from the band. A moment later he had the garment in hand, to his great relief. Nick led Katie over to the seat which Natalie vacated and motioned for her to sit down. She had a vague idea what was going to happen and turned bright red. Schanke took pity on her because she was only a few years older than his daughter and placed the garter belt just above her knee. Next it was time for the bride and groom to have the first dance. 'Love of My Life' played and Nick escorted Natalie out onto the dance floor. They danced as if they were one, their love radiating from every pore. After the song was over everyone paired up and hit the dance floor. LaCroix approached Natalie drawing the concern of both the bride and groom. "Natalie, would you honor me with a dance?" LaCroix said being the perfect gentleman. "I'd be honored," Natalie said, playing along with him, hoping he wasn't going to do anything to ruin the celebration. Janette distracted Nick with a dance while Natalie and LaCroix danced. LaCroix was nothing but the perfect gentleman. Grace and Myra noticed the chemistry between Nick and Janette but weren't too worried because they saw much more love between Nick and Natalie. Nick danced the next song with Katie while Natalie borrowed Don for a dance. Nick loved Katie's expression as they danced. The teen was having the time of her life, one that was much too short. Nick disappeared for a moment. As he returned to his bride, the song "Can I Have This Dance For the Rest of My Life" began to play. Nick looked at Natalie, who nodded. They danced, totally lost in the other. Their friends looked on, quite pleased. During the evening Nick danced with Jenny, Myra and Grace. Natalie talked with those around her, loving the chance to chat with her out-of-state friends. LaCroix and Janette danced. When the band took a break, LaCroix raised a champagne flute. "I'd like to propose a toast," the ancient vampire said, greatly enjoying the worried looks of the newlyweds. "I hope Nicholas and Natalie's love lasts forever." "Hear, hear," came from the crowd. Nick and Natalie knew the hidden message in the completely innocent sounding toast. "Thank you." Shortly, Natalie and Nick left to change into more appropriate clothing for their trip home. Nick was in his black leather jacket, blue silk shirt and black slacks. Natalie wore a royal blue suit with a plain white silk blouse and matching pumps. Out in the horse drawn carriage that would take newlyweds back to Natalie's apartment, Natalie asked Nick, "are you going to tell me where we're going tomorrow night?" "No. I told you it was a surprise." He recognized her expression. "You know that I'm not going to tell you." "I know. And you know how much that frustrates me." "Yeah. It will be worth it, trust me." "Like I have a choice?" she teased. "I'm glad that everyone's having a great time at the party." "Me too." "I have to admit I'm a bit surprised LaCroix behaved so well," Natalie said. "Me too. Either he's playing a new game with us or he knew ruining our night would drive me further away." "I hope it was the latter, although I suspect it might be the other one." "I don't think we'll know one way or another until he makes his next move. I for one am not going to worry about it." "Neither am I." Each knew the other would worry about what LaCroix was up to. Before long they arrived at her apartment building. They climbed out of the carriage and headed for the door. Once inside they took the elevator up to the apartment and walked down the hall, stopping at the apartment door. Natalie unlocked the door, pushed it open and was about to enter when she felt herself scooped up into Nick's arms as he carried her across the threshold. Once they were inside he closed and locked the door, all the while still holding his wife. Both had huge smiles on their faces, but uncertainty danced in their eyes. This was something neither had expected. They never thought they'd be husband and wife. They also never expected her to by dying of AIDS. At that thought, both were glad that her HIV was still asymptomatic. "Are you going to stand there holding me all day?" Natalie said lightly, trying to break the gloomy mood which had settled in. "I wouldn't mind, but I suppose I should put you down." He said matching her tone, as he set her down. "Umm..." Natalie nervously said before being cut off by a cool finger across her lips. Nick knew what was supposed to happen on the wedding night and could tell she wondered what was going to happen tonight. He didn't think he could make love to her, which saddened him. "Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable," he said with a grin. "Okay." As soon as he saw her door shut he headed for the kitchen. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle he had tucked into the back of his supplies. He popped the cork and took a long drink, feeling the thick salty liquid slide down his throat. He enjoyed the taste of the human blood, yet despised himself for drinking it. He knew he'd need every ounce of control he could master if he was to be that close to her tonight. He hoped the blood would help him with his control. It would ease his nearly constant hunger, even if only for a little while. He took one final swallow as he heard the door open. He quickly stuck the mostly empty bottle back into it's place in the refrigerator. She knew that while the night had been joyous it had also been hard on him. She knew how hard it was for him to be close to her without the beast trying to break free and knew that he would have to drink if they were to have any sort of a pleasant evening. She hoped the outfit she had slipped into didn't make matters worse. It was what she suspected he wanted to see her in. Nick reentered the living room just in time to see her approach. She was a vision of beauty in the royal blue teddy and matching robe that hung open. The color of the teddy brought out the blue of her eyes. Nick just stood there staring. He loved her nervousness as they'd never been this bold before. "You'd better not be lost in the past." "What?" When he saw the slight annoyance in her eyes he knew the reason. "I wasn't lost in the past. You look stunning. That's what had me so captivated." He enjoyed watching the color creep into her cheeks as he spoke. "It's your turn to change. I left your clothes on the bed." He loved the wicked grin she wore, yet a part of it worried him. That grin often meant she was up to something, or had done something that he probably wouldn't like. He headed into the bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the outfit awaiting him. It was a smallish pair of men's briefs and matching robe. They too were in the same royal blue as her outfit. Natalie was seated on the couch when she heard the door open. She stood to meet him and felt the smile spread across her lips as she saw him. He too was nervous, both because of the outfit and because he was afraid he might accidentally hurt her, or worse. "I'll have to thank Myra for her gift," Natalie said as she blinked. It was then she realized she'd been staring. She swore she saw him blush ever so slightly. Each knew the other was posing the unasked question, 'what next?' "Why don't you go get comfortable and I'll be right in." Nick said, knowing he needed the rest of that bottle if he were to make it through the day without bolting. "Okay." She could see that he was already fighting the beast and wouldn't question him. Once Nick polished off the rest of the bottle of human blood he felt mostly satisfied and grimaced as he downed half a bottle of cow blood. He hoped that would be enough as he returned the half empty bottle to the fridge, rinsed out the empty one and stuck it in the recycling bin. On his way to the bedroom he grabbed one of the lotions from the stack of gifts piled on her kitchen table. He hoped the smell of it would help keep the beast at bay. He entered her bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed waiting for him. He heard her heart beating faster than normal and sensed her nervousness. "Before we begin there are a few things we have to discuss." He pulled her to her feet and lovingly wrapped his arms around her, seeing the radiant happiness in her eyes along with the uncertainty. But there was no real fear. "I know." She wrapped her arms around him. "My eyes will very likely change and my fangs will most likely drop. It happens when we're aroused." "I know." "I didn't want you to be scared when it happened." "I won't be." "I don't know how much control I'll have. I may have to leave suddenly. I don't want to hurt you, tonight especially." He gently caressed the side of her face as he spoke. "I know. If you have to leave, I'll understand." Her warm hand caressed his face. She knew that this would be very difficult for him, if not impossible. He was very hesitant to voice what he had to ask next. He couldn't look at her. He felt her warm fingers lifting his chin up to face her. "If you lose control, I would rather come across than die." She placed her finger on his lips to silence his protest. "I know you fear that, but if it happens we will deal with it. Okay?" She left her finger in place so he could only nod. "I know I said I wasn't ready yet, but I would rather become a creature of the darkness than die. If I die then there's no future for us. That would hurt me too much. I can't leave you alone like that." He felt her finger leave, and grabbed hold of her hand, placing a tender kiss on the palm of it. "I will honor your wish, if it should come to that." He knew that hadn't been any easier for her to say than it was for him to hear it. He gently pushed her silky robe off her shoulders, his hands gently caressing the bare skin. She followed his lead and pushed the robe off his shoulders as well. They just stood there taking in the beauty of each other's body. "Nick... ummmm... we need to practice safe sex. I don't know..." She felt his lips covering hers, drowning out her protests. When he broke off the kiss he said "I have that covered. Anything else?" his tone turning teasing. He showed her the little foil envelope. "No," she said in the same tone. They both knew they were charting new territory, and there were bound to be dangers as well as frustrations along with the pleasure. They knew that the last time they'd made love was completely different because it was done as much out of need as it was support. This time it was pure passion, which made it all the more dangerous. They both knew that the more they kissed the more dangerous it was so they worked on other ways of pleasuring their mate. She felt his cool touch as her straps were pushed off her shoulders. She smelled the coconut scent of the pina colada lotion as his hands tenderly rubbed the lotion onto her shoulders. He felt the silky smooth skin under his fingers, smelling her own cinnamon apple scent mingling with the coconut one from the lotion. Natalie's hand caressed his cool, smooth chest. She played with the few blonde hairs on his chest, feeling his body involuntarily tense. Nick eased his wife down onto the bed and lay down beside her. He gently ran one of his hands down her front feeling the silky material of the teddy as it hugged her figure, noticing she tensed slightly when he caressed her breast. He wondered if she'd always react that way, hating how the memory of the rapist doing that to her would always be there in the way back of her mind. Natalie ran her hands down his back ever so slowly and gently, stopping to explore a scar she found there. "Battle wound?" She asked quite curious. "Yes. My opponent's spear." He pushed down the teddy exposing more of his bride's beautiful smooth skin. He squirted more of the lotion onto his hands and gently caressed the newly exposed area, loving the feeling of her warm skin against his cooler one. She picked up the bottle and squirted some onto her own hands, testing it on a small area of his chest. When he didn't seem to have an allergic reaction she rubbed it into his chest as she worked her way down. His eyes changed. He tried to close them so she wouldn't see it and become alarmed. "It's okay. I want to see." It still spooked her when he changed so suddenly, but was determined to overcome it. They both knew they had to deal with it if their relationship was to grow and thrive. He looked at her seeing only love reflected in her eyes. "How can you look at me when I'm like this?" "It's a part of who you are. Just like the rape and HIV are a part of me." "Once again, you're right." He knew she hated those parts of her as much as he hated his vampiric nature. She felt his cool hands slowly pulling the teddy off her body and lifted herself off the bed just enough to assist him. Her hands went to the top of his briefs and slowly worked them down. She didn't need her hands to notice his arousal. She saw the small bulges in his upper lip and knew his fangs had descended. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss someone with fangs, but didn't act on it knowing it would be too dangerous. Maybe in the future as they grew more accustomed to living together. She felt his cool hands spreading the lotion where ever they explored. With her teddy having been dropped onto the floor there was nowhere that couldn't be explored. She worked his briefs down to his knees and watched as he did the rest himself. Their nervousness grew as they had only bared themselves to each other once before and knew that a different kind of appraisal was going on this time. Their eyes lovingly studied their mate as they'd longed to do for so many years now. Hands followed where the eyes led them. Both could tell the other was deeply aroused. Natalie's natural scent grew stronger the more aroused she became. Natalie was startled as she noticed the fine sheen of blood sweat here and there on his anatomy. She knew they sweated blood but somehow she'd never paid it much attention before. Nick felt the beast straining against his willpower and fought back. He wasn't sure how much further they could go without the vampire posing an unacceptable danger. Natalie sensed that he was nearing the limit and wasn't sure if she should let him pull away first or if she should. Nick forced himself to the other side of the room and grabbed his robe from the closet. "I'm sorry," he said as he left the room. "It's okay," she said, understandingly, knowing he would be able to hear her in the other room. She stood up and headed for the bathroom, needing a cold shower. A glance at the clock showed that it would soon be time for her next round of medication. Nick headed straight for the fridge, yanking a cork out of the wine bottle he retrieved. After finishing the bottle he headed for the closet to grab the pillow and blanket. Natalie laid in her bed staring at the door wondering what Nick was thinking. Nick stretched out on the couch and stared at Natalie's bedroom door wondering what was going through her mind. Later that afternoon Nick heard movement inside Natalie's room and lightly knocked on the door. "Come in." "I'm sorry about last night. I wanted so much to make our wedding night special. I wanted..." "It's okay. You did make it special. Except for that one time, we've never been able to go that far." When she noticed he seemed unconvinced she continued. "I wouldn't have traded last night for anything." The certainty and love he saw in her eyes convinced him that she was telling the truth. He walked over to her, sat on the edge of the bed and drew her to him. Their kiss threatened to ignite the sheets beneath them. When she reluctantly broke away needing to breathe she smiled her warmest smile as she looked into her husband's eyes. "What time's our flight?" "In about two hours. Are you packed Mrs. Knight," he smiled loving the fact that she was now his wife. "I'm all set, how about you?" "Same here. Why don't you get dressed." Half an hour later it was safe for Nick to be outside so they headed for the airport. They drove Natalie's car for the simple fact it was the easiest and fastest way to get to the airport. While waiting in the airline's private club area, they sat on the couch holding hands. It felt great to no longer have to hide their feelings from the world. "Why are we going to Belgium?" Natalie asked. "You'll see." She knew she wouldn't get anything more out of him, on that subject and found herself actually enjoying the mystery. Natalie was surprised to see they were on the Concord. Natalie enjoyed flying first class, something she could never afford to do. The few times she could she found it to be a waste of money, but this time was special. She and Nick enjoyed the movie as the plane crossed the ocean. Many of the passengers slept as it was a night flight. Natalie took her medication, right on schedule, unnoticed by anyone. When they landed and had claimed their baggage they headed out to find the car Nick had rented. "Are you sure you can drive over here?" "Don't you trust me?" He asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "It's only been forty years," he whispered into her ear causing her to grin. They quickly found their car, loaded the trunk with the bags and were off. A while later Natalie spotted a sign welcoming them to Brabant. He loved her expression as she figured it out. They checked into their accommodations as the sun would be rising soon. Nick had booked them a room at a small inn. Unknown to her it was one that catered to both the living and the undead. Nick carried Natalie over the threshold of their room, setting her down on the other side. Nick tipped the bell boy, who quickly left. "Why don't we unpack and then see what we feel like doing." "Sounds good," Natalie said. They hung up their clothes, sticking their other items either in the drawers or the bathroom. Natalie caught Nick trying to hide a vial and syringes from her. She approached. "What is that?" Nick knew she'd be extremely angry if he lied or beat around the bush so he handed her the vial. He expected some sort of explosion from her. "Nick, are you out of your mind?!" Natalie said, her anger growing. She couldn't believe he had brought Lytoveuterine B with him. "What are you doing with this? You know what it does to you!" "Nat, I was only planning on one dose. I wanted to be able to show you where I grew up." Nick hoped she'd understand. "It's a really sweet thing you want to do, but is it worth the risk?" She was both deeply touched and equally concerned, something that wasn't lost on him. "Yes, it is. If you think the risk is too great, we'll go at night, but you won't be able to see much." "One dose?" "Yes." "Okay. When do you want to do it?" "If you're not too tired, how about today?" "I'm fine. I caught some sleep on the plane." Natalie motioned for Nick to get comfortable on the bed. She positioned a wastebasket nearby, just in case it made him sick. "At least we know what to expect, I hope." He stretched out on the bed and rolled up his sleeve as she filled the syringe, both hoping they weren't making a huge mistake. "You have to make me a promise, first," Natalie said completely serious. "What?" "While the effects of this drug last we can not be intimate. I don't want to risk infecting you." "Nat..." "No," Natalie said deadly serious. "We don't know for sure that when the drug wears off, you'd be cured. I won't risk your life for one afternoon's pleasure." "I promise we won't do anything that would put me at risk, okay?" He knew she wouldn't budge on this one, and wasn't going to anger her by further questioning her. "Okay. Thank you." Natalie's expression asked him if he was ready and his said he was. Natalie inserted the needle into a vein and pushed down the plunger. They both awaited the nasty side effects as the drug began to work. Moments later Nick curled up in a ball, wicked pains and severe nausea wracked his body. Natalie gently stroked his hair as she kept a close eye on him for any unexpected complications. Both were extremely relieved as the pain and nausea tapered off and then stopped completely. "Is everything okay?" Natalie asked, concerned. "I'm fine. Shall we go?" "I need to take the next round first." "Okay." She quickly downed her handful of pills and grabbed a light jacket. She tucked Nick's drug and a few spare syringes into her purse, just in case. After an hour's drive through the beautiful scenery they arrived at the castle which used to be Nick's mortal home. "The scenery is absolutely stunning." "I'm glad you think so." "So this is where you grew up?" She grinned. "Yes. I've made sure it was properly cared for all these years. Care to go inside?" "Yes." "I've thought about turning it into an inn or maybe opening it to the public." Nick said. Nick and Natalie entered the ancient castle. He loved the look of awe on her face as he showed her around, pointing out what each room was used for. The castle was devoid of furniture or tapestries. "What was it like growing up here?" Natalie asked quite curious. "It was a simple life, at least compared to today. From the time I was about four or five I had chores to do. Simple ones at first, but as I grew older they changed accordingly. When I was about ten I started training to be a warrior." "How? Did you like it?" "I was trained in the weaponry of the day, but not until I was old enough to handle each weapon. I learned how to defend myself and my family. I learned hand to hand combat, how to use a knife and a bow and arrow. The training wasn't too intense until I reached thirteen. Then it was several hours a day." Nick said, remembering his childhood like it was yesterday, not almost 800 years ago. " I did enjoy most of it. It made me feel like an adult. My father and I used to go hunting with the other men. It was how the children practiced and refined their skills. "What did you do for fun?" "We would play with the others in the town. We didn't have too many toys, just what we made for ourselves, or what someone made for us." Nick reached the room that used to be his bedroom, Natalie at his side holding his hand. "This was my room," He said. Nick moved in front of Natalie and took both her hands in his. He looked at the beautiful face of his wife and smiled. "I Nicholas deBrabant promise to make each day of your life special. I want you to know that you touched this dark ancient soul in a way I never thought possible. You brought light into it and showed me that there was hope and love out there. You showed me that there was goodness in me. That there was humanity there as well. You've stood by me through my worst times, reminding me that there's more to life than feeling sorry for myself. You accepted me for who and what I am. You refused to let me use the vampire as an excuse for feeling sorry for myself or for any of my failures." Nick wiped a tear from her cheek as he continued, "You gave me this day in the sun. I want to devote the rest of my life to making you as happy as you've made me. I know things will not always run smoothly but it doesn't matter as long as we're together." Natalie had tears streaming down her face, having waited so many years for him to express his feelings for her and now he no longer seemed afraid to do so. She wiped the wetness from her face, hoping he knew they were tears of joy. From the peacefulness she felt radiating from him she knew he understood. "You taught me how to love again, something I thought had been driven out by the vampire. Thank you for not giving up on me when I couldn't express how I felt. I was afraid that if you knew, you might run away. I didn't want to hurt you. I still don't. I'm afraid I will without meaning to. Losing you will hurt more than a stake or the sun could ever hurt." He noticed how his honesty brought a new round of joyous tears to his lovely wife's face. "You taught me a lot too. You showed me there was more to the world than most people realized. You've shared your deepest thoughts and feelings with me. You gave me a unique view of history, which I shall always cherish. You brought excitement, danger and mystery to my dull life. Or at least dull compared with yours. You showed me there were still gentlemen out there. I was so afraid if you knew how much I loved you, you'd leave without saying goodbye. That you'd do it to protect me from yourself. I didn't need protection from you. Somehow I knew you'd never hurt me." She saw the tears welling in his eyes. "Somehow I knew we belonged together. That we were each half of a whole. There were times I almost gave up, but then you did something totally unselfish and I couldn't stay angry with you. I knew that you'd express your feelings for me when you were ready to and hoped they would match my feelings for you. You made me feel beautiful, something I never believed of myself. You appreciated me for what was inside, and not just what I looked like. I too want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. How could I not love all of you? It's who you are. It's the man I fell in love with," Natalie said seeing the joy in his eyes from her complete honesty. She saw a clear tear run down his cheek and was quite surprised. She wiped it away and showed it to him, surprising him as well. "As I got to know you I saw someone who needed a little kindness to bring out the goodness within. As I learned of your past I knew that I had been right, you had endured a brutal father and yet you could still love. You still had your humanity after nearly 800 years." "You are an amazing woman Natalie Knight. I don't know what I did to deserve you." "You are as amazing Nicholas deBrabant. I too don't know what I did to deserve you. I think we were destined to be together in this lifetime," Natalie said. They both knew she generally didn't believe in the supernatural, at least outside of the vampiric parts of it. Nick drew his wife closer, wrapping her in a loving embrace. One that she happily responded to. "How about we go explore the rest of the castle?" Natalie said lightly. Nick smiled and led her to the next room. Again they walked hand in hand. They explored the last few rooms of the castle, Nick telling stories as they looked around. When they finished the interior of the castle, they started walking around the grounds, looking at all the beautiful flowers, trees, green grass, and enjoying their day in the sun. They knew that it would all be over way too soon. "Nick, how are you feeling?" "Okay. How about you?" "Okay. I think we shouldn't overdo it. I have no idea how long the Lytoveuterine will last." "There's just one more thing I want to do, then we can go back to the hotel. Okay?" "Okay. Do I get a hint?" "I'll be right back." Nick said as he kissed her cheek before heading back the way they had come. Natalie examined the plant life around her, enjoying the beautiful flowers. She liked how the setting had been kept very natural, yet well maintained. About twenty minutes later Nick returned. "Close your eyes," He said hiding behind a large bush. "Okay," she said, hearing the slight mischievousness in his voice. She closed her eyes and heard rustling in front of her. "You can open them now," he said. Natalie opened her eyes, stunned to see a gourmet picnic laid out on the cloth before her. There was a bottle of sparkling cider, various cheeses and crackers along with strawberries dipped in chocolate. "How? When?" Natalie asked before being cut off by Nick. "I arranged for it to be loaded into the car before we left. I wanted to surprise you." Nick said. "I've dreamed of sharing a sunlit picnic with you." Nick motioned for her to have a seat, which she did. He sat opposite her and opened the cider, pouring it into two wine glasses. "I too have dreamed of spending a day with you in the sun and sharing a picnic basket." "To my beautiful, intelligent wife. May we remain in love for a long time to come. May we never forget that our love is more important than any outside problems." Nick raised his glass in a salute. "To my handsome, intelligent husband, with whom I totally agree. At least on this toast," Natalie said, grinning, a slight hint of mischievousness creeping into the last sentence of her toast. They ate the cheese and crackers while sipping at the cider. Each offering a new kind of cheese for the other to try. She enjoyed watching his expressions as he encountered all these new taste sensations. Nick enjoyed trying all the new foods, not knowing if he would ever get the chance to do so again. Natalie took her next dose right on time, pleased with the coincidence. Slightly wondering if it was truly one or if the timing had been planned. When they had finished with the cheeses Nick picked up one of the strawberries and teased her lips with it. She playfully took a bite. She picked a berry up and traced his lips with it, enjoying his reaction. He ate half the strawberry, discovering that he liked it, not to mention the way it had been presented. They took turns seductively feeding each other the berries, stopping only long enough for sips of cider to wash the chocolate dipped strawberries down. After they finished off the strawberries they rested a few minutes before packing up the empty dishes and heading back for the car. Once they arrived back at the inn, they cuddled up on the couch with a movie. Halfway through the movie Nick felt the vampire returning and headed for the mini fridge in the room. Natalie watched him but didn't say anything. Nick returned to the couch, coffee mug in hand to retake his seat behind his wife. She was only too happy to let him back into his spot. After the movie ended they headed for the bedroom, wanting to know if they could share a room, and even a bed. Nick slipped into his black silk jammies while Natalie slipped into a long t-shirt and a pair of leggings. "Aren't we the romantic duo," she joked. Natalie took her final round of medication before crawling under the covers. Nick crawled into the other side of the bed. They were unsure whether they should attempt to cuddle or remain on their own sides, and decided on the latter to be on the safe side. Nick found it hard to sleep because it went against the vampiric nature to sleep at night. He was tempted by Natalie's scent and how close her blood was, but pushed any thoughts of hurting her from his mind as he watched her sleep. Before long he was asleep. Late the next afternoon, Nick awoke before Natalie and slipped out of bed carefully so he wouldn't wake her. He headed for the living room. He made a few phone calls and had breakfast before settling on the couch with the newspaper. About an hour later Natalie entered the living room and joined her husband on the couch. "Good afternoon. How'd you sleep?" She asked. "Good. How about you?" He asked. "Like a baby." "What would you like to do this afternoon?" Nick asked. "Do we have plans for tonight?" "Yes. I thought we'd spend a few nights in Paris before returning home." He loved the surprised look that spread across her face and the smile which formed as well. "I take it you approve?" He teased. She nodded. "As for this afternoon, I thought maybe a nice lunch and another video?" "Sounds good to me," Nick said. After their movie they packed and left the inn, once again heading for the airport. They boarded their plane a short time later and before they knew it they landed at Orly airport in Paris. As soon as they entered the airport arrival area Natalie was surprised to see a man dressed in a chauffeur's uniform holding up a sign that read "Knight". They approached the man and followed him to the baggage claim area. There he took their luggage claim checks, retrieved their bags from the conveyor belt, and took them out to the sleek black limo waiting by the curb. Nick loved the smile Natalie gave him as they walked to their transportation. The driver opened the door for them. Nick motioned for Natalie to enter first, which she did. Nick slipped in next to her. As they approached their hotel Natalie turned to Nick and quietly asked, "when was the last time you were here?" "About seventy-five years ago," Nick replied quietly. "Do you mind coming back here?" "Not at all. If I did, I wouldn't have brought you here." Nick knew it would bring back memories of that night in 1228 as well as others, but he didn't mind because they were in the distant past. "I can't wait to see the city through your eyes. In a way it will be like seeing it for the very first time." "Can we start as soon as we check in? There's so much to see." "Sure. You don't have to try and see everything at once. Remember we have the rest of week." A thought hit her. "How long do we have the limo?" "The limo is ours for the week." "It doesn't seem like enough time, does it?" Nick and Natalie arrived at the hotel. Natalie wasn't surprised to see that it had a five star rating, everything so far had been first rate. A bellboy showed them to their suite. Nick tipped the man as he left. Natalie looked around the one bedroom suite, stunned by the sheer elegance of the place, yet it also had a cozy, intimate feel to it. The furnishings were a mixture of the old and the new, both looking like they belonged there. She saw the antique dining table off to the far right side and the bedroom off to the left. The middle had two very comfortable looking modern couches, end tables and a coffee table. There was also a television, VCR and stereo in a large, ornate, dark wooden cabinet against the side wall. The back wall was taken up with the large sliding glass doors. "Shall we head out?" Nick asked, seeing that his lovely bride was eager to get her first look at Paris. "I want to show you something." Nick headed for the balcony, pulling open the drapes to show Natalie the beautiful lights of Paris. Curious, Natalie approached her husband, smiling as she saw all the gorgeous multi-colored sparkles lighting up the city. "It's beautiful." "Shall we go?" Nick asked. "Yes." Nick and Natalie spent the rest of the night walking through the streets of Paris, stopping whenever something captured her attention. They stopped at a cafe so that Natalie could try the different pastries they offered. Nick loved the look on her face when the first cup of coffee she ordered arrived. It wasn't the standard mug or coffee cup she was used to but something much smaller, like a large thimble. He worked to keep the grin from showing. Natalie had two more thimbles full of coffee before she was ready to continue on with their explorations. Natalie did have to pass on one batch of goodies due to her medication schedule, promising herself that she would return there first thing the next evening. It was times like this that she really hated the ddI as she had to take it on an empty stomach and couldn't eat for two hours either before or after taking it. Nick enjoyed watching Natalie every time she found something new to examine. He had been right, seeing the city through her eyes was indeed a special treat. She saw things that he had never noticed. When the cafes and the few open shops closed, Nick and Natalie headed back to the hotel. Back in the room Natalie realized she was tired, but wasn't quite ready for bed yet. She entered the bedroom saw the large, very comfortable looking king sized bed, with it's much more plush comforter than the ones she was used to in hotels. In the bathroom she saw the marble Jacuzzi and couldn't wait to use it. There was a telephone there as well as a small television set. She changed into her pajamas and robe, noticing that Nick did the same. She took her final round of medication for the day and went out to watch some television. She flipped through the available channels surprised by the racy and freaky things she saw, so she turned it off. Nick came out and sat next to her on the sofa. Natalie started to giggle, drawing a confused look from Nick. "Sorry. Back home they probably think we're only doing one thing. Imagine their surprise if they learned the truth." "I'm sorry I can't..." "None of that. It's okay." Natalie saw that he didn't believe her. "Honest." "Are you sure?" Nick said, still not fully convinced. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She loved being in his arms, resting against his chest. She felt his cool breath on the top of her head and the gentle kiss he planted there. "I'm sure. No one said a honeymoon had to be nothing but non-stop lovemaking. Even if you were mortal and I was healthy, I don't think we'd be doing that. I think we'd be doing just what we're doing now." "I think you're right," Nick said, having been convinced by the way she had given her explanation as much as what she said. "Did you sample enough chocolate tonight?" He teased. "One can never sample enough chocolate. Especially the delicious ones here," Natalie said, returning the tease. "How many chocolate shops did we visit?" He grinned. "I don't know, maybe six. Which reminds me... where did we put my goodies?" "Check on the bar." Natalie headed for the bar and returned with a decent sized shopping bag. She sat down next to Nick and unloaded smaller bags onto the coffee table. Each bag contained a different assortment of chocolates. She picked up one of the small bags, opened it and sampled one of the pieces. Nick loved the contented grin that spread across her face as she ate another piece. Nick turned the TV on and, after flipping through the channels, found a movie they both thought looked interesting. Natalie couldn't understand the French, but loved the sound of Nick's voice as he translated it for her. The soothing sound of his voice quickly lulled her to sleep. Nick still marveled at how she could be so trusting as to fall asleep in his arms, knowing full well what he was. He loved how peaceful and beautiful she looked as she slept. Before long he himself grew sleepy, and he carefully picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. He pulled down the covers, being careful not to wake her, gently placed her on the bed and tucked her in. She rolled onto her side and continued with her deep, peaceful slumber. Nick headed out to the mini fridge, pulled out one of his dark green wine bottles and downed half of it. As much as he was enjoying spending this much time so close to her, it was also difficult. The hardest part was sleeping next to her. He feared what might happen in his sleep. He knew that they would have to sleep in separate beds, as planned. Even that would be tempting, but tolerable, as long as he didn't starve himself. After he finished dining he headed back into the bedroom and climbed into bed, being careful not to wake Natalie. The next afternoon Natalie awoke first and was in the living room looking at the newspaper that had been slipped under the door. She could make out some words here and there, but most of it she couldn't understand. she thought, knowing that medical school had left her little time for French lessons. Nick woke and silently watched Natalie from the doorway, amused as she studied the paper. "Good afternoon," Nick finally said. "Hi. How'd you sleep?" Natalie asked. "Good. And you?" "Great." Natalie looked at the newspaper, then at her husband. "Can you teach me some French?" "Sure. What do you want to know?" " I remember a little from school, but not much. I want to be able to handle a simple conversation. You do know modern French, right?" Natalie asked, that thought just occurring to her. "Yes, I know modern French," Nick said, with one of the warm smiles she loved so much. "Shall we start now?" "Please." Nick started by teaching her a few very basic phrases such as "my name is", "how are you" and so on. When she caught onto those, he taught her some new ones. The phrases grew more complex each time she mastered the previous ones. By the time the sun had set, Natalie had a handful of phrases she could confidently use. They weren't the perfect French you learn in school, but the real French spoken by the natives. She knew how important it was to attempt to speak their language, to say Bonjour when you enter somewhere and Au revoir or Bonne nuit when you left. Also, to address people as Monsieur or Madame/Mademoiselle. After dinner they continued with their window shopping. Natalie enjoyed using the few phrases she had learned earlier in the day. As the night wore on, Nick taught her more phrases while they walked down street after street. They started the night with dinner at the cafe she had to pass on the night before. Natalie found a heavenly dessert. It was a rich chocolate cake with sinfully delicious chocolate mousse spread thickly between the layers of cake, a dark fudgy frosting covered the cake with dark chocolate shavings across the top of the cake. Large, thin dark chocolate wedges stuck up from the top of the cake. Nick loved watching his wife's expressions as she savored her dessert. After dinner they strolled down one of the more scenic streets so she could walk off the calories from that heavenly cake, looking in the shop windows along the way. The limo met them at the end of the street because their next destination was too far to walk to. Natalie was amazed to see cars pulling onto the sidewalk for a quick fill up of gas. She couldn't believe that the gas station buildings looked like a regular store front, and often were right in the middle of a bunch of stores. The pumps at the curb did not resemble ours at all. They were dropped off at Eiffel Tower, it's size catching Natalie off guard. She had seen pictures of it, but seeing it in person was very different. The beauty of the 1,050 foot tall monument aglow with the 292,000 watt illumination took her breath away. She found the electronic sign which hung from the second level, showing how many days were left until the year 2000 fascinating. They approached the entrance and were disappointed to see that the tower closed at midnight. Nick wrapped his arm around her waist, escorting her deeper into the shadows. He wrapped his arms around her waist, looked around, and took to the air. He loved his wife's startlement. Moments later he set them both down inside the railing of the second deck, almost halfway up the tower. "I thought you'd like to see the city lights from a new perspective." Natalie playfully smacked his arm. "Warn me next time. Okay?" She said with a hint of teasing in her tone. "Sorry," he said, giving her his best puppy dog look, knowing how it melted her. "It's gorgeous up here. Thank you." She couldn't believe how wonderful the city looked with all the lights sparkling below them. He loved watching how all the things he took for granted were brand new to her. Her joy at seeing all the city had to offer brought a deep contentment to his ancient soul. "Would you care to see the sights from the top level?" He asked. "This is perfect." When she had enough of the view, he lowered them back to the ground, warning her this time. Nick had the limo driver head for Montmartre so that he could show her another view of the city. He knew one of the buildings, Sacre Coeur, was white domed old church, that was no longer used as such. Once they arrived, they had to climb the very long set of stairs to the top. Once Natalie saw the view, she knew why Nick had brought her here. They admired the artists' paintings and other items for sale, complimenting them on their work. They once again returned to the hotel when the city began to shut down for the night and she tired. Back in their suite, Natalie noticed a tentative look on Nick's face and had an idea what he wanted. "Nat, I want you to see Paris in the daylight. I want you to be able to visit places that aren't open at night." Nick hoped what he was about to propose wouldn't turn into a major fight. "I want one more day in the sun with you." "Nick, I want that too. What about the risks? You know each time you take that stuff it will be less effective." "I know. I'm prepared for the risks. It's been three days since I last took it. I promise this will be the last time I will ask this." When he looked at her with that super boyish charm how could she refuse him? She couldn't. "Okay. But, I want to know the second there's even the slightest hint of a problem. Understand?" "I understand. Thanks!" He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her as passionately as he could, thrilled when she responded with an equal passion. He knew it was the best way he could thank her for once again granting him his wish. When she broke away, only because she was in serious need of oxygen, she saw the joy in his eyes. "Remember the rest of the deal?" She asked, seeing him nod. "I'll need a few hours sleep first. You should get some too." "Fair enough." Natalie took her medication and curled up in bed. Before long she felt Nick join her. She found it interesting that he managed to drop the temperature under the covers by several degrees. She mentally giggled at the fact that his feet were literally cold and startled her every time they brushed against her. The next morning after they had showered and dressed, Natalie dug the Lytoveuterine B out of Nick's shaving kit and prepared the injection, once again hoping nothing unforeseen went wrong. Nick made himself comfortable on the bed, knowing the nasty side effects he'd feel as the drug took effect. Natalie injected him and kept a close eye on him during the transformation. They had breakfast together at a little cafe Natalie had taken a liking to. She had learned to order several coffees, especially first thing in the morning. During breakfast, Nick taught her more French, pleased with how quickly she picked it up. That surprised her as well, as foreign languages had never been her best subject. The first place Nick insisted they go was a walk through one of the many beautiful parks located around the city. He used it as a living classroom, teaching her the names of things that they passed. After that the limo took them to the Arc de Triomphe where they climbed to the top. Nick and Natalie walked out onto the observation area, glad it was a nice clear day so they could see incredibly far into the distance. They saw the Eiffel Tower some distance away. On the way down they explored the small museum inside the Arc. Next they again strolled the streets, looking in the various shops as they headed for the Eiffel Tower, her lessons continuing. Nick teased Natalie whenever they entered another chocolate shop. After a few streets the limo met them for the short drive to the Eiffel Tower. They toured the Eiffel Tower, browsing in the shops and having a late lunch in one of the restaurants there. Natalie enjoyed being able to order in French and understand almost all the waiter's questions. After lunch, they walked to one of the edges of the tower's second level. Natalie loved the view as she could see most of the city from there. It was so different than it had been the night before. This time they went all the way up to the top observation level, so she could have a bird's eye view without leaving the ground. Natalie enjoyed watching the various street performers whose talents spanned the arts of juggling, mime, music, serious drama and magic. Nick dropped a few bucks into each performer's contribution container be it an open guitar case, a hat or just a simple jar. Nick loved seeing the city through Natalie's eyes, it made the ancient city new again for Nick. When the afternoon was wearing on towards evening, he felt the first stirrings of the change and didn't want to return to the hotel. Which she would insist upon, if she knew. "How about we visit the Louvre next?" He inquired as they entered their limo. "Sure." She noticed that something seemed to be on his mind. "Is the Lytoveuterine wearing off?" "Not yet, but real soon." "Can you be in the museum safely? If not I don't have to see it." "I'll be okay." By the time they arrived at the museum Nick looked slightly sunburned. Natalie realized that they had arrived just in time. She was surprised by the huge glass pyramid that was the entrance to the museum. "You okay?" She quietly asked. "I'm okay," he responded just as quietly. They entered the pyramid knowing they had to get out of there as soon as possible. Nick paid their admission and led Natalie to the entrance of one branch of the museum. There was no direct sunlight coming in as they walked through the history of the museum exhibit and headed for the restrooms. Once there, Natalie handed Nick a flask she had tucked into her purse that morning, knowing he might need it later. "Thanks," Nick said as he quickly drained the metal container. "Will that be enough? We can always go back to the hotel, and return later." "It's enough." Nick lead Natalie towards the Medieval collection so he could show her things from his time, including a real moat. He told her stories about the items that weren't known to most scholars, careful to keep his voice at a level that couldn't easily be heard by others. She grinned. She loved hearing Nick's special details. When they had finished there, Nick asked Natalie if she had anything in particular she wanted to see. "I'd love to see the Mona Lisa. Other than that, there's really nothing I have to see." "Then you will see it," he said with a grin. He led her towards the statue of Venus de Milo on the next floor. Natalie was surprised by the beautiful marble floor and the intricate, colorful patterns underfoot. He made sure she saw the most famous French sculptures, wanting her to have as full an experience as could be had in one afternoon and evening. They moved onto the next floor where Nick showed her some Italian paintings from the thirteenth to fifteen centuries on their journey toward the Mona Lisa, as promised. They spent several minutes admiring the painting before moving on to some large- format French paintings. Natalie loved her personal tour of the museum, especially knowing that he had probably seen many of the paintings, sculptures and other artifacts when they were first created. She was amazed at the enormous amount of history she was seeing. She was viewing the masterpieces she had only seen in photographs, or heard about, or read about in books. Nick enjoyed being able to share his stories about each artist with her, making sure they could not be overheard when it came to facts that weren't generally known to historians. He loved her grin each time, indicating she enjoyed those facts best. Nick escorted her to the apartments of Napoleon III so she could see firsthand what the living conditions of the very wealthy were like then. He answered her questions as she asked them. They looked at a few Renaissance works before heading up to the next floor. On the top floor Nick wanted Natalie to see the Medici Gallery. He told her a few stories about the famous family, enjoying her pleasure in his tales. An employee told them that the gallery was closing because the museum would be closing shortly. Nick and Natalie were glad they were able to see so much of the museum before closing time. "Did you know it would take at least three months to see the entire museum?" Nick told her. "I'm not surprised." When they arrived back at the glass pyramid, Natalie was pleased to have a few minutes to look in the gift shop. She picked up a few items for both herself and certain friends. They stopped by a cafe so Natalie could have a bite to eat. She surprised herself by how hungry she was. She had a large snack, more of a meal, than dessert. Nick teasing her about it. She quickly shut him up by sticking a fork full of food into his mouth when it was open. He knew he had better swallow it or be faced with even more to eat. She had a few pastries wrapped up to take back to the hotel, for breakfast. Afterwards, they headed back to the hotel. Nick knew Natalie's feet must be tired and sore from all the walking they had done. As soon as they entered their suite Nick disappeared for a moment. "Did you have a nice time?" He asked his beautiful wife as he reentered the room. "Yes, I did. My feet are killing me." She looked him over, trying to guess what he was thinking. "Did you?" "Yes. It's been a long time since I saw Paris in the daylight. I couldn't have asked for a better companion to share it with." "I couldn't ask for a better tour guide." She smiled. Nick led her over to the couch where he removed her shoes and massaged her feet, one at a time. Her sighs of relief and contentment brought a smile to his face, knowing it had been exactly what she needed. When he was finished, he took her hand and led her to the bathroom. The marble Jacuzzi had been transformed into a scented bubble bath. Steam wafted up from the tub, frosting the mirrors and leaving its mark on the air. "Jasmine, my favorite," Natalie said. "Join me?" She asked with a wicked grin, noticing how the tub was big enough for two. "Maybe later. I want you to relax," he said. She pouted, causing him to grin. "Okay, okay. You soak for a few minutes, then I'll join you." He was rewarded with one of her smiles. Nick left her alone to enjoy her bath. Natalie took her latest dose of medication before stripping off her clothes, pinning up her hair and slipping into the warm water. She lay back against the smooth marble, closed her eyes, let her body relax and her mind go blank. Out in the living room Nick was at the bar downing an entire bottle of human blood, hoping Natalie did not pick that moment to come out of the bedroom. He needed to feed well if he was to be as close to her as she wanted. Natalie sighed and said to herself "perfect," as the water began to bubble, this time from the air jets imbedded along the walls of the tub. About twenty minutes later, he heard the sound of the faucet running and knew that was his cue to join her. He quickly gulped down half of another bottle before he entered the bathroom. "I thought you'd forgotten," Natalie said. "No. I thought I'd let you enjoy the peace and quiet until the water cooled down. Then I'd join you and keep you busy while it warmed up." Nick said as he removed his clothes. "Scoot forward," he said loving the questioning look on her face as she did so. He slipped in behind her, finding the bubbling water a little strange against his skin, but pleasant, relaxing even. He grabbed the washcloth from the edge of the tub. Once the cloth was nice and soapy he gently washed her neck, shoulders and arms, drawing sighs from her, before moving on to her back, drawing more sighs from her. "Very nice," she said, totally relaxed, enjoying his attentions. When he had tenderly caressed as far as he could go, she turned around, taking the wash cloth from him. She lovingly ran the cloth across his neck and shoulders, down his chest, stopping at his waistline, not ready to go any farther at the moment. Nick kissed her tenderly at first. As he felt her fire growing he increased the passion of the kiss to match the heat he felt from her. He scooped her up and stood, climbing out of the tub. He grabbed the nearest clean towel, drying her off with gentle care. She reached for another towel, drying him off with equal tenderness. They walked into the bedroom, arms wrapped around each other's waist, wearing nothing but their towels. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer as his lips met hers. Her arms wrapped around him as she returned his kiss with an equal passion. She resented her body's need for oxygen which forced her to break their kiss. When she looked into his eyes, she was momentarily startled at the golden ones staring back at her. Nick was pleased at how well she accepted both parts of him, especially at these times. He knew there was a little fear, and a part of him was glad. Her love for him was what shone the brightest. "We don't have to go further..." Natalie said, knowing how much control he must be exerting. She knew that she could either press him and spend the night alone, or end things now and spend some time just being with him. "I think it would be for the best." "If you were to taste someone's blood, but not directly from their body... would it still cause the same reaction?" She asked, her curiosity in full gear. "It would be strong, but not as overpowering." "Would it increase your desire to take the person?" "I don't know." "I want to know if the drugs I'm taking would act as an appetite suppressant." "I've never thought about it that way." "There's only one way to find out," Natalie said as she entered the bathroom. She retrieved a syringe from Nick's shaving kit and withdrew enough of her blood to fill the syringe. She knew the drugs had been in her system long enough to be in full force. She carefully set the syringe down on the counter and used a cotton ball to apply pressure to the puncture site. It quickly stopped bleeding, and she covered it with a small plastic bandage. She picked up the syringe and squirted the blood into one of the unused glasses by the sink. Taking a deep breath, she reentered the bedroom and handed him the glass. He took it, savoring her apples and cinnamon scent before drinking. A peaceful expression spread across his face, a huge smile on his lips, as he savored the memories, feelings, and especially her tremendous love for him. "Well...?" Natalie asked. "The drugs do help, but not enough to make it safe." He tried to find words to express their effect on him. "It's like eating something bitter, yet knowing there is a wonderful sweetness there too. Knowing that makes the bitterness tolerable. In larger doses, that bitterness might make me nauseous, but there's no way to know." He saw her biting her lower lip, as she often did when trying to work out a puzzle. "I will not risk your life to test the theory." "But if it works..." "It's not worth it." Off her hurt look he continued. "Maybe after we're more used to living together. But for now, it's too dangerous." He didn't want to have to tell her how hard it was on him. He suspected she already knew. "I know. I was just hoping..." Natalie said, not wanting him to feel badly, or think she was upset with him. "I know how hard this is on you. I don't want to make it harder." "I do have to thank you for your special gift," Nick grinned, and gave her a quick hug and kiss. The next evening Nick was the first one up and made a few phone calls, wanting to surprise Natalie. Before long she awoke and headed for the living room. "Are you hungry?" Nick asked. "Yes. Where should we dine tonight?" "I have that all arranged. We're dining at one of the finest restaurants in town." He saw her questioning look. "Yes, I will try to eat." He loved the grin that brought out. "I didn't pack anything that fancy." "Check your closet again," he said with a devilish grin. Natalie did as she was told and was surprised to find a gorgeous dress hanging in the closet. "How did you do that?" "I know what you like and your size. The rest was easy." "What time is our reservation?" "Nine-thirty." "I have to get ready," Natalie said as she headed for the bedroom. Nick followed her in, wanting to dress at the same time so they could take in one museum before dinner. Before long Nick was attired in a dark suit and tie. Natalie's emerald green dress looked wonderful on her. The silk of it flowing beautifully right down to her knees. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, the soft curls framed her face beautifully. They left for the Rodin Museum, making it there with half an hour to spare. Natalie enjoyed seeing The Kiss, one of the more well known pieces. After the interior closed, they strolled through the garden taking in the 200 different varieties of roses. They saw The Thinker, who was quite at home in the breathtakingly beautiful garden. After they had wandered through all the beautiful flowers for about half an hour, they had to leave in order to make it to the restaurant on time. The restaurant was elegant. The low lights made it seem quite cozy. The waiters walked the fine line between excellent service and being a nuisance. Nick and Natalie had a non-alcoholic wine with dinner. Natalie was surprised by the volume of food that came with the three course dinner. She was almost too full for dessert. Something Nick delighted in teasing her about. She ordered the most decadent looking chocolate dessert they had, and made Nick order something. He choked down a bite of his dessert before setting his fork down. Natalie ate hers and half of his, because it's a crime to let good chocolate go to waste. She sipped her coffee as she savored the goodies before her. After dinner the limo dropped them off a few blocks before their destination, a midnight cruise on the Seine. They enjoyed their walk. The path took them over one of the bridges to the departure point for the cruise. The boat had a roof over part of it, but most of it was open. Nick and Natalie sat in a middle row, not wanting to be at either end, their hands intertwined. The tour guide pointed out the sights, including Notre Dame, as they passed. After the cruise they walked for a while before meeting the limo at the prearranged location. "Nick, thank you for a wonderful night." "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I too had a great time." "Thank you for a wonderful week." "I couldn't have done it alone," he said as he kissed her cheek. Natalie had learned enough French to hold a conversation, and enjoyed doing so. She and Nick practiced as they walked through the streets during their last two nights in Paris. She enjoyed being able to confidently talk to store owners, waiters, anyone she wanted to, in their native language. All too soon it was time for the honeymooners to return to the real world. They packed their suitcases and headed for the airport. They were both a little sad to be leaving, but they were also looking forward to being home again. At the airport things went smoothly and several hours later their plane touched down in Toronto, right on time. They picked up their bags from the luggage area and headed for her car. Nick wished he had time to stop by the loft on the way home from the airport, but that would be cutting things too close. "Nick, I'll drop by the loft and let you know how things are, okay? You can wait until tonight." "Thanks." Natalie dropped Nick off at her apartment before heading for the loft. She found the crew arriving for work. They greeted her before going on with their work. Natalie looked around, pleased with the excellent progress they were making. They had the kitchen almost finished, the cabinet fronts were missing. She walked up the stairs to check out the bedrooms and saw that they were nearly completed. The master bathroom needed the tile floor and the countertop then it was done. The other two needed a bit more work. The foreman approached. "Welcome back." "Thanks. It's good to be back." "Unless any unforeseen problems come up, we should be able to finish right on schedule." "That's great news." Natalie headed home for some much needed sleep. She entered her apartment and found Nick waiting for her. He set down his coffee mug. "Well?" "Rick said that they should be finished on schedule. They seem to be done with the heavy construction and are doing the finish work. I know you'll stop by later." "Probably on my way to work." Nick saw she was tired. "Why don't you catch some sleep?" He approached her, wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. She kissed him passionately, pleased when he responded with an equal passion. Before long the vampire once again came between them forcing them to break off the kiss, and Nick to pull back. They were used to this happening, knowing it was the price they had to pay for their relationship. Nick turned her around and gently nudged her towards the bedroom, knowing she was exhausted from the flight and all the activity from the last week. Natalie took the hint and headed into her bedroom where she took her last dose of the day before crawling into bed. That evening Nick and Natalie had to return to work, which neither minded. They stopped by the loft on the way in. Nick was pleased at the progress, noticing that it wouldn't be more than another week before the renovations would be finished. Grace was doing chores which kept her near the door to the Coroner's Office. She was anxious to hear how the honeymoon had gone. "Hi, Grace," Natalie said with a smile as she entered. "How are you doing?" "I'm fine. You look like you had a great time." "I did," Natalie entered her lab and took off her coat before pulling an elegantly wrapped box out of a dark canvas tote bag. "This is for you. Paris is a great city for shopping." "Paris is such a romantic city. How was it?" Grace set the box on the table and quickly had it unwrapped. "It was beautiful. The view from the Eiffel Tower was spectacular. I even brushed up on my French." Grace was glad to see Natalie had a great time. Grace thought. "Well...?" Natalie teased as Grace seemed to be too busy questioning her to finish opening her gift. "Sorry," Grace said as she blushed slightly. She pulled the stunning pair of antique silver earrings out of the box. "They're gorgeous. Thank you." Grace wrapped her friend in a huge bear hug. Natalie was pleased Grace liked the gift. "Nick helped pick them." "I'll have to thank him the next time I see him." Grace had so many questions she wanted to ask. "Grace, why don't we go out for lunch later and I'll tell you all about it. Okay?" "Sounds great!" At the precinct, Schanke was working on a report while awaiting Nick's arrival. He didn't have to wait too long. "Welcome back, Partner." Schanke grinned as he slapped Nick on the back. "Thanks." "So, how's married life treating you so far?" "Great." "You look well rested." Nick cut his partner off. "We explored Paris." "Yeah, what about during the day?" "We watched movies together." Nick knew what his partner wanted and was going to have some fun teasing him. "You went to the most romantic city around and all you did was look around and watch movies?" Schanke said stunned by his partner's seriousness. "Now did I say that was all we did?" "That's more like it." Several hours later, Grace stuck her head into Natalie's office. "You ready for lunch?" "I'm ready." Natalie knew that if she didn't tell Grace all about her honeymoon soon her friend might just explode from curiosity. They walked to a nearby restaurant. They were shown to a table and talked while they waited for their lunch. "So..." "It was fantastic. Paris is great. Very much like what you hear." "You know that's not what I'm asking about." "He was great. Very romantic." Natalie smiled remembering her wedding night and her honeymoon. Grace loved seeing her friend so happy. After all Natalie had been through, she deserved to be happy. "So, how much of the outdoors did you see?" "Grace!" Natalie said, chuckling. "We saw enough of the outdoors. "But more of the bedroom?" "We did see quite a bit of the bedroom. No, we didn't spend all our time working undercover." "And why not?" Grace teased. "Because we had to get some sleep. Not to mention eating to keep up our strength," Natalie said returning the tease. She was enjoying having a little fun while Grace tried to get all the details. "Also, it would be a shame to go to such a romantic spot and never leave the room." Later in her shift, Natalie had to bring some files over to the precinct. She knew Schanke was going to want to know all about the honeymoon, even after quizzing his partner about it. She didn't mind. Natalie entered the precinct and dropped off the files before heading to see her husband. "Hi guys," Natalie said. "Welcome back, Natalie," Schanke said. "How was Paris?" "It was very nice," Natalie said with a smile. "I picked up a few things for you, Myra and Jenny." Natalie handed the tote bag to Schanke, after pulling his gift out. Thanks." He eagerly opened his gift, finding an embroidered patch for a French police uniform in a small plastic bag taped to a very fine bottle of French wine. "Thanks, guys. I'll save it for a special occasion That weekend on their way in to work, Nick and Natalie examined the loft for any problems, pleased when the craftsmanship was excellent. The renovations looked better than they had imagined. "Nick, when can we move in?" Natalie asked anxiously. "How about Friday? We both have it off." "Okay. How are we going to get all our furniture in here?" "I arranged for movers. All we have to do is tell them where to put everything." Nick knew it was the easiest way to prevent disagreements about her ability to help with the move. He knew she was still healthy and was fully able to help. "What about packing up my place?" He didn't see why they had to do it themselves when they could hire movers just as easily. "I arranged for them to do that. I thought you'd like to do the unpacking yourself." Nick took her hand in his. "I want to show you something. Nick led Natalie upstairs and into the middle room. A good portion of the far wall was covered with shelves. "These are yours to put whatever you want on them. You can utilize these and the ones downstairs however you wish. I thought you might like having your books nearby." "Thank you. This is so sweet." Before they knew it moving day arrived. Movers arrived mid morning and began to pack. Natalie felt a little uneasy having someone else pack her stuff while she was still capable of doing so herself. By nightfall her apartment had been packed and the truck was being loaded. Natalie stayed in the apartment to monitor things while Nick monitored it from the street. Three hours later the truck was on its way to Nick's loft. The movers were pleased to see that the elevator went straight to his living room, but weren't at all happy with the narrow stairs leading up to the bedrooms. Nick watched as the boxes and furniture were removed from the truck. Inside Natalie directed each item to it's proper location. When the bedroom furniture and accessories were being brought in she stayed upstairs and directed the movers from the walkway. When the movers left Nick ordered dinner. Once they had eaten, Natalie started unpacking her clothing. She wanted to be able to find what she needed for work tomorrow night, without having to dig through a dozen boxes. She saw that Nick wanted to help and let him. She knew that with the two of them working, things would get done twice as fast. She had the bedroom and bathroom boxes unpacked before she tired. She took her medication, crawled into bed and was soon asleep. She fell asleep wondering if the separate beds would work, or if she'd wind up moving into the next room. Nick climbed into his bed and fell asleep wondering the same thing. The next evening, Natalie arrived at her office and quickly checked her desk to make sure no new crucial cases had come in. When none had, she switched to her research projects, vowing only to spend an hour, two tops, before doing the work the city paid her to do. She reread her latest notes on Nick's cure and started where she left off. After their shift was over they arrived home, each driving their own car. They both enjoyed the fact that this was no longer his loft, but their home. It was a little strange, but it also felt great. After a quick dinner they unpacked a few more boxes, starting in the kitchen. Eating out of whatever they could find, using paper plates and cups or the takeout containers were okay for a day or two, but it would get annoying quickly. Nick now had to share his fridge with her food, as well as his own. He enjoyed seeing real food in there. It would help with his cover as well. The next afternoon Natalie headed over to Katie's house, knowing her teen friend would enjoy hearing about Paris. She also had a few gifts for her, as well as something for her parents. Katie was thrilled that Natalie was home and lead her to the family room so she could hear all about Natalie's trip. "I brought you something," Natalie said as she handed Katie a heavy box. Katie eagerly ripped the paper off and opened the box. Inside was a very nice full color book about the Louve. "This is so cool! He took you to Paris?" "Yes. It was great." Natalie gave Katie her other two gifts. They spent the entire afternoon talking about Paris, Natalie showing off the pictures she had done the one hour developing on, not wanting her film out of the store, for fear it might get lost. By the end of the week they had unpacked and put away all of her things as well as his boxes he retrieved from storage. The loft now reflected both their tastes and no longer looked like "a fortress of solitude". It looked warm and inviting instead. This gave their marriage and new living arrangement a certain finality, making it seem more real. Both were glad that they were able to share a bedroom. They knew that as long as he didn't starve himself, and ate before bed it would work. They decided not to put the second bed into the master bedroom until after their housewarming party, not wanting to answer the awkward questions that would result from it. Natalie slept in the middle bedroom until after the party. On their first night off they threw a small party, knowing their friends were curious too see what the renovated loft looked like. Grace, Katie and the Schanke family came. Don enjoyed teasing the newlyweds about how it took Natalie's touch to change the "high tech dungeon of doom" into a warm inviting home. Everyone was impressed, especially when Nick gave the "grand tour", explaining that his lovely bride designed it all. Natalie loved all the compliments she received. On their next night off, Natalie and Nick were watching their first video in the newly remodeled loft. He noticed that something was bothering her and knew to wait until she was ready to talk about it. "Nick. I want you to teach me how to ride a motorcycle." He was quite surprised. He studied her face, thinking she was joking. When he saw she was serious he said, "You can't be serious. Do you know how dangerous it is?" "It can't be that dangerous. Millions of people do it. Besides, I didn't say I wanted to turn into a biker." He knew that he couldn't change her mind. "Okay. When do you want to do this?" "Tonight if possible." She didn't want to give him the chance to talk her out of it. "Okay. Let's see if we can find a place." After checking out a few shops they found one that would rent them a new bike. They rode to the shop on his bike, both decked out in jeans and leather jackets. She held onto him, her arms wrapped around his waist. She was a little nervous about being on a bike, but loving it at the same time. He made her wear sunglasses and his old helmet, not wanting her to be injured by any flying debris that the bike or passing vehicles kicked up. Natalie picked out the bike she wanted, with some guidance from Nick, a smaller Harley. Before Nick paid the rental fee he made sure she would be able to handle the bike. Nick insisted that she have a proper helmet, not the old one she had used earlier. There was an empty parking lot two doors down. He had her walk the bike there. Once in the lot, he had her climb onto and start the bike. Once that had been accomplished he showed her how the controls worked and had her try it. He was ready to help her if she needed it. After a slightly wobbly start, she quickly got the hang of it. When she could successfully circle the parking lot a few times, he reluctantly let her out on the road. She loved the feeling of the wind against her body and the feeling of the bike under her. She felt free, understanding how people became addicted to it. When it was time to turn the bike in she found she couldn't. "Nick, I want to keep it. I know I probably won't ride it often." She said, hopeful. "You can't keep it. We'll order you one, Okay?" He hoped his answer would be good enough, as there wasn't anything else he could do about it. "Okay." She reluctantly accepted the fact that she would have to wait until her bike came in. "Is there room to store two bikes at the loft?" "Yes." Several nights later Natalie's car was giving her trouble, and the perfect excuse to ride her new bike, if it had come in. She called the dealer, pleased when it had arrived. She hoped they could pick it up on their way in for their shift. She couldn't wait to see her co-workers reactions. Nick found Natalie's decision quite amusing and couldn't wait to see their reactions either. He happily gave her a lift to the dealer and paid for the bike. About half an hour later Natalie arrived at her office about the same time as Grace. Grace did a double take when Natalie took off her helmet and shook out her hair. "Natalie, what's gotten into you?" Grace asked, quite surprised. "Nothing. I thought it looked like fun, and it is. Besides, my car refused to start this morning." She pulled off her gloves, stuffing them into the pocket of her old beat up waist length leather jacket. She had found it stashed in the very back of her closet during the move. "How long have you had this thing?" "I picked it up on the way here. Isn't it great?" Natalie said, quite enthusiastically. "I think you need a long vacation. This isn't you," Grace said concerned. "I didn't think so at first either. Then curiosity got the better of me and I was hooked," she said with a smile. "I still say you're nuts. You could kill yourself on that thing." Grace said, trying not to sound too much like a mother hen. "Don't worry, I'm not going to take up biking full time," Natalie said with a grin. "Natalie, you okay?" Grace saw the sadness flickering in her friend's eyes, and grew concerned. "What?" Natalie asked as her mind snapped back to the present. The concerned look on Grace's face made her uneasy. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about Katie. She'd probably love a ride on this." "You'd take Katie on that thing?" Grace said quite surprised. She loved the surprised look on Grace's face. "Yeah, I would. If her mother okays it." They walked into the building together and entered Natalie's office. Natalie set her helmet on the file cabinet, pulled off her boots and exchanged them for a pair of low pumps she left in her bottom drawer where the boots were now tucked away. Grace saw Natalie's joy over her new vehicle and knew she wouldn't be able to convince her friend of the dangers. She hoped Natalie would use caution riding that thing. "Grace, don't worry. I'll be fine." Natalie saw the slight worry that still lingered on her friend's face. "Well, just be careful motorcycle mama." Natalie laughed. Later, Schanke and Nick came by just as Natalie was preparing to leave. She was changing into her boots and stowing the shoes in the drawer again, ready for the next time. She had her leather jacket on. "Who's Harley?" Schanke asked. "That is one fine piece of machinery." "Mine," Natalie said, totally serious. "No way." Schanke was totally confused, sure it was some sort of a joke. "You're not the biker type." He noticed her helmet on the file cabinet. "Why not?" Nick asked, getting in on the fun. "She's too..." Schanke tried to find the right words. "Intelligent, classy. It's just not her." "Thanks, Schank. It's fun. You should try it sometime." Natalie smiled at him. The conversation continued as she gave the guys the file they wanted. She grabbed her helmet as they headed for the parking lot still discussing it. Schanke saw her slip on her gloves and strap on her helmet before starting her bike. Somehow he still couldn't accept it. He could believe Nick rode one, but not her. Schanke wondered. He hoped it was just a phase and that she'd outgrow it. The next afternoon Natalie dropped by Katie's house as promised. Katie was waiting on the front steps when Natalie pulled up on her Harley. Natalie turned off the motor, stuck her helmet on the handlebar, and headed for the front porch. Katie saw the beat up waist length leather jacket, jeans, high top sneakers, and teal t-shirt Natalie had on. "I can't believe that's your bike. It's so cool!" Katie was dressed for the occasion in her own leather jacket, t-shirt, hi top sneakers, and jeans. "Why does everyone sound so surprised?" Natalie asked. "I'm just following your advice... to live each day to the fullest." Katie smiled, loving the idea that a grown up, especially one that wasn't related to her, was following advice she'd given. At that moment Katie's mom, Stephanie, walked out onto the porch. "Hi, Natalie. Katie, be careful and do whatever Natalie says. Okay?" Steph said as she fooled with her daughter's ponytail and kissed the top of her head. "Hi, Steph." Natalie noticed Steph was a little worried, then again she too would be worried if her terminally ill fifteen year old were hopping onto the back of a motorcycle. "I promise to take good care of her." "I know. It's a mother thing," Steph said with a grin. "We'll see you later," Katie cheerily said as she hugged her mom and headed towards Natalie's bike. "Don't stay out too late." "She won't," Natalie said, knowing that Katie tired quickly these days. She enjoyed spending time with her young friend, but hated the fact that she would die soon, probably within a few months. She also hated how she was seeing her own future. Katie strapped on the spare helmet Natalie handed her and waited until her friend had started the bike. She climbed onto the back of the bike. Natalie had shown her where to place her feet, and where not to because she'd get burned. Steph pulled her camera out of her pocket and snapped off a few shots. She wished she had the videocamera, but knew Katie wouldn't like that. Steph was amused at how Katie was at that age where she didn't want her mom taking pictures every time she did something or videotaping it. Despite her daughter's illness, Katie was very much the typical teen. Katie tolerated her parent's frequent picture taking and videotaping only because of her terminal illness. "Wrap your arms around my waist and hold on tight," She shouted so that Katie could hear her over the sound of the motor. She felt Katie's arms grip her tightly, a little too tightly. "A little looser will be okay. The driver needs to breathe." "Sorry." Katie loosened her grip. "Is this better?" "Yes. You ready?" "Yes." Natalie took off gently so she wouldn't spook her passenger. As soon as they were out on the road Katie had a huge smile on her face, loving the adventure. The next evening Natalie's car was working again so she took it to work. Her first stop was the precinct as she had some paperwork to drop off. She approached Nick and Schanke. "How's our very own biker M.E.?" Schanke teased. "Just fine. I drove my car to work today, for your information." "So when do you get the biker jacket and the tattoo?" Schanke teased. "I already have a leather jacket. I'll skip the tattoo." "You need a biker jacket to go with the bike," Nick said, joining in. "Oh, yeah!" Schanke agreed. Natalie just chuckled. A few nights later Natalie entered the precinct, wearing her waist length black leather jacket, helmet in one hand, reports in the other. She loved the surprised looks she received, and thought most of the precinct and Coroner's Office already knew. She headed straight for Nick's desk, where she set down her helmet. She didn't leave it outside, not wanting it stolen. She knew the parking lot was safe, it had become a habit to take it in with her where ever she went. Cohen came out of her office at the same time, having heard about Natalie's bike, but didn't believe it, until now. "Knight, Schanke, do you have the Bronson report for me? Hello, Dr. Lambert." "Not yet, Captain. We're still waiting on forensics," Nick said as he saw Natalie pull a folder from the middle of her stack and hand it to him. When he saw the name of the folder, he responded, "We'll try to have the report ready by the end of the shift." "Okay." Cohen turned her attention to Natalie. "Dr. Lambert, is it true? Have you become a biker?" She asked both curious and amused. "I do own a Harley, but I don't think I'm a true biker. It's a great backup vehicle," Natalie said, grinning. "I don't know what inspired me to buy one, but it's fun." "I never pictured you as the type," Cohen said. "No seems to be able to. I think that's part of what makes it so much fun." "Just be careful, okay?" Cohen said lightly. "Okay," Natalie said with a grin. Five weeks later, Natalie arrived at Katie's house to take her out for another motorcycle ride. It had become a weekly ritual both enjoyed. They would go to a movie, to the park, grab something to eat, shop, whatever they felt like doing. This time it was special, as it was Katie's sixteenth birthday. Natalie had noticed the decline in her friend's health, seeing how she was weaker each week and knew she wouldn't live more than month. This deeply saddened her, but she quickly shoved it aside, not wanting Katie to detect it. Katie hugged her mom and eagerly headed towards Natalie. She was quickly settled with her helmet securely in place. "Where to today?" Natalie said before starting the motor. "How about the mall? Mom gave me some money for my birthday." "Sounds great." Natalie started the engine and they were off. They spent the next two hours looking around the mall. Katie bought a few CD's, a couple of books, and a hot pair of sunglasses. When Katie had to use the ladies room, Natalie made a phone call, pleased with what Nick told her. She barely got the phone tucked away before Katie approached. "What now?" Natalie asked. "I don't know. Any ideas?" "How about going back to the loft and talking?" Natalie saw Katie was beginning to tire. "Sounds good. Should we grab something to eat?" "Nah. Nick will probably want to fix us something. He's become quite a good cook." "Okay." Natalie secured Katie's packages before they headed out. About fifteen minutes later Natalie and Katie were in the elevator, quickly approaching the loft. Natalie opened the loft door. "Surprise!" everyone inside shouted. Natalie loved the stunned look on Katie's face. "Now I know why you wanted to come back here. Very sneaky." "Thank you," Natalie said with a grin. "Happy birthday, Katie." Natalie embraced her friend. Katie took in the decor, noting the three dozen or so balloons with their colorful ribbons, the 'happy 16th birthday' banner draped over the railing where the upstairs landing was. There was a mound of presents on the coffee table. The kitchen table was completely covered with all of Katie's favorites. She saw all her friends there. Nick started the CD player, which had been loaded with Katie's favorite music. "Does the birthday girl want to eat first or open her gifts?" Nick asked. "Tough choice. I think I'll have a quick snack then open the presents. Then I'll eat more." As soon as Katie had filled her plate with food, everyone else helped themselves. Nick even took a small amount, not wanting to look out of place. Katie talked with her teen friends while she ate. Nick, Natalie and Steph sat off to the side and talked. They also watched Katie animatedly talking with her friends, and them responding just as enthusiastically. About twenty minutes later things quieted down slightly as the teens put aside their snacks to get down to the serious business of Katie opening her gifts. Susan handed Katie her present. Katie tore off the wrapping paper pleased with the CD inside. "Thanks, Suz." Next, Jennifer handed her gift to the birthday girl. Inside was a colorful t-shirt. "Thanks, Jen." Katie opened most of her other presents and thanked the friend responsible for it. She was accumulating a nice stack of CD's, bracelets, earrings, and a t-shirt or two. Katie loved how her friends bought stuff for her, knowing she was terminally ill, yet it didn't seem to affect the gifts. Katie picked Natalie's next. She ripped off the colorful paper, lifted the top off the medium sized box only to find it full of colorful Scrunchi's. Katie laughed at the gift. "There's more," Natalie said. Katie curiously rifled through the box, looking to see what goodies were hidden below the mass of colorful hair ties. Her fingers felt something solid and carefully brought it to the surface, spilling only a couple of the Scrunchi's onto her lap. "Oh my God!" Katie squealed excitedly as she examined the two concert tickets. "Natalie, how'd you get these? They're sold out?" "Open Nick's," Natalie said. Next Katie opened the gift from Nick. Inside the small box, resting on a bed of tissue paper were two more tickets and four backstage passes for the concert. Katie's excitement grew to the point where everyone thought she might explode or bounce off the walls. "How... how... did you get those?" Katie said, nearly speechless. "Some friends of mine are doing security. I told them I wanted a special gift for an important person in my life. They gave me the tickets and backstage passes. Natalie heard that they were in town from one of the new interns and knew how much you liked the band." "I can't believe it." Katie gave both Nick and Natalie a hug, not caring what her friends thought. "We're glad you like them," Natalie said. Katie immediately asked her teen friends if they wanted to go. Squeals of delight rang through the room as her friends all said they would go. They couldn't wait until tomorrow night, and hoped they would get to meet the band. Nick and Natalie had offered to play chaperone for the evening, knowing Katie would probably find that more acceptable than having her parents do it. Katie happily accepted, knowing they would keep an eye on them, but wouldn't be overprotective. Nick and Natalie were amused at the excitement level of the teens. Natalie remembered back to her first concert when she was young. Each teen purchased a t-shirt as a souvenir. The teens were escorted to the VIP section, while Nick had managed to get him and Natalie seats nearby. Close enough to keep an eye on their charges, but far enough away so it wouldn't seem like they were being too parental. Nick and Natalie enjoyed the concert even though it wasn't really their style. Most of the people around them were screaming, cheering and having a great time. After the concert, Katie and her three friends were allowed to go backstage. A few minutes later they were escorted into the band's dressing room. Katie and her friends were quite nervous as they entered. "Katie, isn't it?" Max said. As he shook her hand. "Yes." Katie couldn't believe that the lead singer was talking to her. "Nice to meet you." "Happy belated birthday." "Thanks." Katie felt a finger poke her in the side, reminding her that she hadn't introduced her friends. "This is Susan, Jennifer, and Amy." "Hi ladies. Nice to meet you," Max said as he shook their hands as they were introduced. He loved the stunned looks on their faces, remembering having a similar one on his when he'd met his favorite musicians. The rest of the band introduced themselves. Once the formalities were over the four teens were escorted to the couches on the far side of the room. Once all were seated they talked for a while. Their manager entered and let Max know that it was safe for them to go back to their hotel. "Would you ladies like to join us? Your escorts are welcome as well." Max knew they hadn't driven themselves, and as a parent himself wouldn't want his child going off with strangers. "We'd be honored," Katie said, trying to sound as normal as possible, even though she was about to bounce off the walls. "Why don't you go get them and bring them back here. Give them these." Max said as Mel handed Katie a pair of back stage passes. Katie and her friends left the room, waiting until they got outside and the door had closed to happily bound off in search of Nick and Natalie. None of the band could believe that Katie was terminally ill. She was so spunky and full of life. They remembered agreeing to meet her and her friends, and in doing so had taken a liking to Katie. Max and Mel knew that they had to make this night truly special for her, that's what they would want for their children, if God forbid one of their kids were that sick. Meanwhile, backstage, Katie, Susan, Jennifer and Amy found their escorts talking to one of the security people, the one responsible for making this a memorable night for Katie. "Nick, Natalie. Max invited all of us, you two also, back to his hotel. Can we please go?" Katie asked, trying hard not to beg. "Sure." He knew how much Katie and her friends wanted to go. "Oh, these are for you," Katie said as she handed Nick and Natalie the passes. "Thanks." Katie led the group back to the dressing room, knocked on the door, entering when the door was opened by Mel. "This is Nick and Natalie, our escorts, and my friends." "It's nice to meet you," the adults said, shaking hands as they were introduced to each other. Katie really enjoyed the ride in the limo, as did her friends. They'd never been in one before. Before long they arrived back at the hotel and were escorted to their suites. The four teens were surprised that they took a back elevator up to the band's floor, and that a special key card was needed for access to the floor. Mel explained that it was for both their safety and that of their families, not to mention the fans as well. Max and Mel greeted their wives and kids, surprising the teens. Max and Mel introduced the teens and their escorts to their families. A few minutes later dinner arrived, having been ordered on the way to the hotel. Katie and her friends joined the group, as did Nick and Natalie. After dinner, pictures were taken, autographs given, and then the six guests said good night and thanked the band for their generosity. In the Caddy, Katie and her friend animatedly squealed, chatted about their night. They couldn't believe all the goodies they'd left with. They had crew shirts, autographed CD's, pictures to be developed, and lots of great memories to treasure, not to mention stories to share. Nick received lots of thanks for the special night. Katie quietly reminded them that it was as much Natalie's doing as Nick's. Natalie received lots of thanks as well. Katie was the last one dropped off. She hugged her friends, again thanking them for the wonderful evening. "Did you tell them..." Katie had wondered, and knew she had to ask. "No." Nick knew if the was honest that Katie would think it was all planned because of her condition. He knew that only the initial meeting had been planned. "They did everything on their own." Katie hugged her friends again thanking them for the perfect evening before she tiredly, yet excitedly headed for her front door where her mom was waiting. Both Nick and Natalie saw how exhausted Katie was, and were very pleased she'd had such a good time. They were also glad the band had been so generous with themselves. Two weeks later, Natalie received a phone call at work. "Lambert, forensics." "Natalie?" The female voice on the other end said. "Yes." She grew concerned by the sadness she heard through the phone line. "This is Steph, Katie's mom. Can you and Nick stop by later?" "Sure. We don't get off until four am." Natalie said, not wanting to wake them up. "That's okay. We'll be waiting." Natalie sensed that Katie was dying, if she hadn't died already. She had seen her friend grow continually weaker as the days had passed. Katie had remained at home, as that was where she wanted to die. As soon as Natalie hung up, she called Nick and filled him in. Nick heard the slight sadness and concern in her voice. He hoped his suspicions were wrong. Neither could fully concentrate for the rest of their shift. Nick and Natalie knocked on the front door of Katie's house shortly after their shift had ended. Within moments Steph and Rick ushered their guests in, embraced them, and lead them to the family room. Katie's parents and their guests seated themselves on the couch and surrounding chairs. "Katie died earlier this afternoon. She went to sleep and never woke up. She didn't want me to call either of you until after sunset, but she wouldn't say why." Steph said, her voice thick with grief. She had shed her tears earlier that afternoon. Nick and Natalie exchanged a quick glance. Both thought. "I'm so sorry," Natalie said, tears running down her cheeks. "You have my deepest condolences," Nick said, fighting the blood tears that were aching to be released. He wrapped his arm around Natalie's shoulder and felt her arm go around his waist. "Rick and I will never be able to thank you enough for your friendship with her. It meant so much to her. Every time she'd go somewhere with either of you, she'd talk about it for hours, sometimes days. Seeing where you worked and attending your wedding were two of the best nights of her life. We're all pleased you came to her graduation." Steph knew she had said much of it before, but it needed to be repeated. "It let her do more than she could've otherwise." Steph knew she had to mention one other thing. "Because of your birthday present to her, two of the band members wrote to her. They thanked her for the nice thank you note and the sketches. She talked about the night of the concert and the letter for days. Thank you." Rick momentarily left the room, returning with a package for their guests. He handed it to Natalie. "Katie left this for the two of you. She said that you weren't to open it until you were home." "Did Katie ever tell you..." Natalie couldn't finish as the sadness totally overcame her. "I know, she'd hate my crying over her death like this." She tried to muster a weak grin. Natalie took a deep breath and slowly let it out before continuing. "Did she ever tell you that I'm HIV positive?" "No, she didn't. I'm sorry. If I could have one wish, it would be that no one else would lose a loved one to this damn disease." "That's a wonderful wish. Maybe someday no one else will," Natalie said, a small grin poking through as her tears eased. "That would be my wish too," Nick said. "If either of you ever need someone to talk to, I hope you'll contact us." "Katie helped me see that I had so much living to do. That I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy each day as a gift. And that I should let my friends in as they're what makes life special." "She showed me that there are people out there who have terminal illnesses yet go on with life, savoring each moment. That what seems like a major crisis is really relatively minor when compared with her and the others on the pediatric AIDS ward." Nick said trying to express the hope and light Katie brought into his dark world. "It's late. We really should be going," Natalie saw how exhausted the parents were and didn't want to overstay their welcome. Nick and Natalie were walked to the door by Rick and Steph. The foursome embraced before the guests left. Before long the Caddy pulled into the garage. As soon as they entered the elevator, bloody tears streaked their way down Nick's cheeks. Natalie's cheeks were wet fFrom her own tears as they poured down her cheeks. They embraced each other, needing to feel that closeness. The elevator stopped. Nick opened the door and they entered the loft, heading straight for the couch. Once seated Natalie opened the package Katie had left them. Inside was the necklace she had received as a graduation present, her mug shot, a bunch of other photos, and a videotape. Natalie fingered the necklace and it's charms, remembering when she picked it out for Katie. Nick remembered having the handcuff charm made for the necklace, when none could be found elsewhere. She noticed three additional charms, which she had not given to Katie... a simple gold band, a small motorcycle, and a music note. She showed it to Nick. Both were touched by the new charms "I never realized how much those events meant to her," Natalie said, her voice choked with emotion. Nick wrapped his arm around her and kissed her cheek. "I guess she wanted to make sure you didn't forget." "How could I?" Nick leaned forward, picking up the mug shot while his mind went back to that night and the joy on her face as it was taken. "It was amusing to see someone so happy to have their mug shot taken." Nick wondered if she might've become a cop, if she had lived long enough to become an adult. They looked through the pictures, remembering each event forever captured on paper. There were graduation pictures, wedding pictures, ones of her and Natalie on the motorcycle, and from the night of the concert. Nick turned on his entertainment system and inserted the tape into the VCR. Katie's face appeared on the screen. "Hi, Natalie, Nick. I wanted to say good-bye and knew this was the only way to make sure I could." Katie was dressed in her favorite blue and white tie- dyed like t-shirt, and blue jeans. Her hair was held back in it's usual ponytail. Her skin was blotched from the medications she took. She looked weak, pale and tired, but her fighting spirit showed in her eyes. Natalie rested her head on Nick's shoulder while he leaned his head against hers. Their arms wrapping around the other. "I want to thank you for being my friends. You made the last year of my life special. I never forgot the night I spent with you at work, attending your wedding, the ride in the Caddie or on the back of the Harley. Not to mention the concert and surprises afterwards. Those were the coolest nights of my life. Thank you." Natalie sniffled. "Nick, it took me a long time to figure out your secret. I figured it out a few days ago while watching a movie. Very cool. No, I never told anyone." "I'm glad you came to my graduation. It meant a lot to me. Being invited to your wedding also meant a lot to me." "We wouldn't have missed it," Nick said, his voice not much more than a whisper. "Thank you for not treating me different because of my disease." "Thank you for all you taught me about living with it." Natalie whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Nick, Natalie, I want you to remember how precious life is, and how short it is, especially for those of us with this disease. I hope you'll be there for each other until the end. You two belong together, more than any other couple I've ever seen." "We will." They both quietly said at the same time. "Enough of this depressing stuff. Natalie, I hope you continue to enjoy life to the max. Nick, don't give her too much of a hassle when she wants to try new things." There was a light teasing tone to her voice, one that was shared by the twinkle in her eyes. As the tape continued, Katie made them laugh. Nick and Natalie watched the rest of the tape cuddled up together on the couch. One night few weeks later, Natalie and Nick were watching TV, when she grabbed the phone book during a commercial break. The rather intense concentration on her face as well as her biting her lower lip told him that she was searching for something. She soon found the page she was looking for, and a mischievous grin spread across her face. Nick scanned the page before realizing why she was grinning so hard. "No way, Nat," Nick said, slightly panicking. "Why not? It'll be fun." She inquired playfully. "I'm sorry, but I don't consider jumping off a tower with a rubber band strapped to my ankles fun." "Party pooper. It can't hurt you to give it a try." She pretended to pout. "No. But it could hurt you," He said concerned. "I'll be careful where we go." "Where *we* go?" He asked, cutting her off. "You don't think I'm going to do this alone do you? Hmmm?" Her voice had a mischievous tone to it. "Nat, this is crazy." "I want to know what it feels like to soar through the air." "That's not soaring. That's a suicidal plunge." The show came back on disturbing their discussion. During the next commercial break the discussion continued. "Nat, I'm concerned. You seem to have turned into a wild child. I'm afraid that you're going to hurt yourself," he said concerned. "I know what I'm doing. I'm finally taking risks and enjoying life to the fullest. It feels great." The next evening found Nick and Natalie at the only licensed bungee place that agreed to be open late, providing Nick supplied the proper lighting equipment and overtime for the employees. "Nat, are you sure you won't reconsider?" "I'm sure," she said, hoping she was. She wanted to do it, but was getting more nervous as she got closer. "I don't want you trying to rescue me unless something unforeseen happens, which I don't expect." "All right, whatever you say." They were helped into the harnesses, which wrapped around their waist and butt, taken by a lift up to the top of the tower where each had the bungee strap attached to the harness, and then around their ankles. Natalie noticed that it was an awfully long way down to the bottom. The airbag below did little help her growing case of nerves. Nick and Natalie strapped on their helmets and stepped over the protective rim, grabbing hold of each other. Upon mutual agreement, they leaned over, letting gravity do its job. They plummeted towards the ground. Natalie's scream turned into a laugh as the cord jerked them partially back up and then let them fall again, more softly the second time. They were each caught by two employees and the cord was quickly disconnected from the harness before they were helped with righting themselves so they were standing back on the ground again. They were helped out of the harnesses before they headed back to the chairs they'd left their shoes under. "That was fun," Natalie said with huge grin. "Don't tell me you want to do that again?" "I might." Her eyes twinkled with mischief. "What did you think of it?" "Not something I'd particularly want to repeat. It reminds me too much of when I first learned a certain skill." "He didn't?" She was somewhat stunned, yet she could picture LaCroix doing something like that. "He did, and without the cord." "Figures. I told you it would be fun." "Do you really want to go again?" "Yeah. This time I want to try it on my own. Okay?" "That's fine with me." Nick could see in her eyes how much she wanted the second run. "I'll be waiting here for you." He knew he was fast enough to catch her if anything went wrong. Natalie was quickly reharnessed and before long the elevator had her at the top of the platform. She was excited and nervous. Somehow it seemed different, scarier without Nick next to her. She slipped on her helmet. Once they reattached the cord, she stepped over the safety lip and once again let gravity do it's job. This time her scream was one of celebration. She had done it all by herself and it felt great. They caught her and unhooked the cord before helping her out of the harness. She hurried over to Nick, a huge smile lighting up her face, her eyes twinkling with delight. "That was fun." Off Nick's look she chuckled. "No, I don't want to go again. You ready to go do something else?" "Sure. What did you have in mind?" "I don't know. How about we discuss it over a snack?" "Sure." The next evening Natalie was changing into her scrubs when Grace entered the locker room. She saw several small bruises on Natalie's back which looked disturbingly like fingerprints. "Natalie honey, how did you pick up those bruises on your back?" "It's not what you think. Nick and I went bungee jumping last night. I had this strange, overwhelming desire to try it. Must've been the show we watched. He was scared and must've held on tighter than he thought he did." "Uh, huh." "It was the greatest feeling to soar through the sky." Upon Grace's look she continued. "Okay, to plummet to the ground in freefall. The weightlessness was a wonderful feeling. It was exhilarating!" "Natalie, what has gotten into you?" "Nothing. I decided to try a few new things to spice up my life. Come on, haven't you ever wanted to try something wild?" "Yes, but..." "What would you do?" Natalie cut her friend off before she could finish her protest. "I've always thought it would be fun to try karaoke sometime," Grace said, shyly. "Then let's do it. I believe our days off match next week." "Why not?" she shrugged, smiling. Nick and Schanke entered Natalie's office, talking. "Bungee jumping? No way." "Yes." Natalie couldn't resist joining the conversation. "Schank, it was breathtaking. It was the most exciting thing I've ever done." "A friend of mine told me you and Nick were at his place last night. I can't believe it." "Why not? I just wanted to try something different," Natalie said. "I don't know. Isn't it dangerous?" Schanke asked. "If you pick someone uncertified, it can be," Nick said. "Natalie, are you okay?" Schanke asked. "I'm fine. I just needed to do something wild. Something to show that I'm still alive. I spend so much time surrounded by death, and it finally caught up to me." Schanke thought about that a moment, accepting it as a logical reason for Natalie's recent behavior. He remembered that Katie had died only a few weeks ago, wondering if that was one of the factors in his friend's wild behavior. A few days later, Natalie sat behind her desk and what once was an endless sea of files. With a sigh of relief, she unbuttoned the top of her white blouse and looked at the finally finished pile of paperwork that had desperately needed her attention. Although the tedious work had cost her her day of, she had no doubts that all her new adventures had been worth the price. She started to file the old paperwork, letting her mind wander as she did so. Her mind was hurriedly brought back to the present as Grace, Nick, and Schanke entered the room. "Natalie, what's on your shoulder?" Grace asked, seeing the back of her friend. She noticed there was something under her friend's shirt. "You didn't get a tattoo did you?" Natalie blushed, feeling it go all the way down to her toes. She had been running late and forgot to check if it was noticeable when she dressed. "I want to see it," Grace said with a large grin. Nick was enjoying it all as he loved seeing her turn bright red like that. "Me too," Schanke said. "I thought I saw your bike outside this evening." Natalie lowered one side of the back of her blouse just enough for them to see the tattoo of a bright, colorful bird perched on a branch full of equally vibrant flowers that covered about half of her left shoulder blade area. It's long tail hanging down, curving just below the main group of flowers. Grace and Schanke were stunned, as Nick had been stunned that morning when he saw it. "Isn't that risky?" Grace asked, knowing that both hepatitis and HIV/AIDS could be contracted from dirty needles. "I can't believe it." "What do you guys think?" Natalie asked, touched that her friends worried about her. "It's pretty, but I have to admit I'm amazed. What has gotten into you lately?" Grace asked. "Katie's death reminded me of how short life could be. She made me realize that I wanted more out of life than work." Natalie saw the sadness creep into her friend's faces. "We deal with death every night and it got to me. I've decided to live like she did and celebrate life. Is there anything wrong with that?" She saw her friends shake their heads. "It's a nice choice," Nick said, worried. Not just because she had done something so out of character, but she could catch something her immune system might not be able to handle. He didn't know when she had had the work done as he had seen her in her towel just the other day. "When did you get it done?" Grace asked. "Nick, what do you think of it? Why did you let her do it?" "I like it." He grinned. "She's a big girl and can do whatever she wants." Schanke wasn't sure what to say. He, too, was concerned about her. She was doing too many things that were very unlike her. "Relax guys, it's only temporary. It'll come off in about a week. I passed by a display rack and couldn't resist. I don't know why. I thought this was a really cool design." She saw her friends' obvious relief. "Grace, I would never get a real one. First off there is the risk of infection, not to mention the pain and healing time. I don't have that high a pain tolerance." "Don't scare us like that," Grace admonished, but there was a lightness to it. "A temporary tattoo could be fun." "It is, at least judging from your reactions." Natalie's smile curled into an evil grin, "How about it Grace? Maybe a dragon?" Waving her hands, Grace laughed. No, no, no. I think I'll leave it to the pros." "Guys, how about you? Nick, how about a nice sword design? Schanke, how about a small pair of handcuffs? Or maybe a heart?" She loved the stunned look on their faces and how Schanke seemed to take a small step back. "I don't think so," both men said at the same time. "I think they'd look cute with tattoos," Grace chuckled. "So, Natalie, when are you going to join a biker gang?" Schanke asked jokingly. "How do you know I haven't?" Natalie asked with mock seriousness. She saw the shock on Schanke's face. "Just kidding, Schanke. I have no intention of joining any biker group. It is nice to have a back up vehicle, especially since my car has been acting up again." She saw the relief on everyone's face. She wondered what they'd think if they knew that she had considered getting a small tattoo that could be easily concealed. She was disappointed that the virus had prevented her from seriously considering a tattoo. She knew the instruments were sanitized between uses, but she also knew that tattooing drew blood and did not want to expose the person doing the tattooing or any future clients to the risk of contracting HIV. There was also the pain factor. She handed the guys the files they needed and watched them leave. Her mind wandered back to that afternoon. ******** Natalie awoke to the sound of the alarm clock and hit the off button. She noticed Nick wasn't there, and figured he was downstairs. She grabbed her handful of morning medications and headed for the bathroom, where she downed them with a glass of water. She hated the large ones as they were hard to swallow. Once that had been done she stepped into the shower. After her shower she headed for her dresser, clad only in her towel, her hair wet. She rummaged through a drawer before grinning triumphantly. She returned to the bathroom, opened the small plastic package in her hand, withdrew the sheet. She neatly cut between the two designs, slipping the extra one back into the package. Grabbing a clean washcloth she wet it down before peeling the backing off the temporary tattoo. She carefully placed it on her shoulder, making sure it was straight. She wet the backing until it slid off the tattoo on it's own. She lightly washed the design with soap and water to make it look more realistic, grinning as she examined it. ********* Nick and Schanke were in the Caddy on their way back to the precinct. "Nick, is she okay?" Schanke asked concerned. "She's okay. I think Katie's death shook her up more than she realized." "Keep an eye on her, okay? I don't want her accidentally hurting herself." "I will, Schank." Nick's mind wandered to earlier that afternoon. ************ Nick entered the bedroom, having heard the shower go off. He had finished breakfast and needed a quick shower before dressing. Natalie headed for her closet, still clad only in her towel. "It's all yours," she said smiling. She couldn't wait to see Nick's reaction to her body art. "Natalie, when did you get that?" Nick asked, stunned. He couldn't believe she had a tattoo, and such a large, elegant one. "Recently," she teased. "Do you like it?" "It's lovely. Isn't it risky? You could..." "I know. I couldn't resist," Natalie said, cutting him off. She knew she'd have to tell him it wasn't real, sooner or later, but was going to have fun meanwhile. "I'm worried about you. I'm afraid you're going to hurt yourself." "Don't worry. I won't. I just want to have some fun," she said. "Are you going to let Grace and Schanke know?" Nick asked, curiously. "Maybe," Natalie said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. "You'd better get in the shower or you're gonna be late." ******** Nick was snapped out of his reverie by Schanke. "Earth to Nick." "What, Schanke?" "I was just asking if you wanted to stop off and pick up some lunch? I know you don't eat, but I'm hungry." "Sure. Where do you want to stop?" Nick asked. "I do eat, but it's a very restricted diet due to my allergies. It's easier to eat before work and after I get home." The next evening Natalie entered her office as usual and was quite startled to find a nameplate on her desk that read "Natalie Lambert, Biker Doc". She smiled, wondering who's idea it was. She figured it was either Schanke or Grace. Times like these made her feel normal again. For a short time she was able to forget about the time bomb inside her waiting to go off. She didn't feel like an outsider. She had friends who loved her like family. During Grace and Natalie's next night off they went to a bar with a Karaoke machine. Natalie saw the nervousness throughout Grace's body mirrored on her face. "Natalie, I'm not sure I'm ready for this." "Grace, you'll do just fine." "Would you do a duet?" "Maybe, after you do one by yourself." Grace chose Alabama's 'Forty Hour Week". When the music began she started singing, right on cue. When no one booed her off the stage she felt nearly every muscle in her body relax. Natalie watched her friend letting loose and having fun. She was surprised at Grace's talent. She knew that Grace would probably succeed in dragging her up there. Before long Grace finished to a round of enthusiastic applause, Natalie's being the loudest. "Natalie, how did I do?" Grace asked as she rejoined her friend. "You did great. I didn't know you could sing like that." She saw Grace blush slightly, causing her smile to grow. "How about the two of us doing a duet?" She saw the uncertainty in Natalie's eyes. "Come on. It's fun." "Okay. One song," Natalie said, a little reluctant, yet curious. She knew that Grace probably wouldn't give up until she'd won. They quickly picked Rick Springfield's 'Celebrate Life', walked up on stage and began to sing as the music played. Natalie was nervous at first but relaxed as she quickly discovered how much fun it was. Before long the song was over and applause echoed through the place. The two ladies headed off stage with large smiles on their faces. "You're not so bad yourself." Grace said. "Thanks. It was fun." Natalie stunned Grace and Schanke by coming into work a month later in a serious biker jacket. One that belonged to the Victorious, a local club. "I thought you weren't going to join up?" Schanke asked. "Well, so did I. They're really not a bad group." "They're doing a bikeathon to raise money for a local children's shelter this weekend." Nick said. Natalie had told him about it, unsure if she wanted to get involved. Once she did get involved she kept him updated on what they were doing. "I thought it would be a fun way to ride and help a worthy cause." Natalie said with a smile, which was lost when she continued. "The shelter houses children who have either lost their parents due to AIDS or are suffering from the disease themselves." Natalie saw them examining her jacket and turned in a slow circle, pretending to be a model so they could get a good look at the wonderful artwork on her jacket. They smiled at her mock impersonation of a model, which made her smile. "Where'd you get the jacket?" Grace asked. "And when?" "Last night during the last planning meeting. They had the jacket specially designed for me and told me I was an honorary member. I've worked with them for the past month, helping them set up the bikeathon. Can I count on all of you for pledges?" "Of course," her friends said. "I think it's great you worked with them to make the idea a reality," Grace said. "The artwork's beautiful." Natalie was pleased to see her friends take one of the flyers she left on the corner of her desk. The flyers contained all the information about the bikeathon, the shelter and the reasons the shelter was needed. The shelter was needed because the number of children who have lost their parents to the horrendous disease or were infected themselves was going to double, or even triple in the years to come. It mentioned how many foster homes will not accept children with either HIV or AIDS, and there was no where near enough shelters that would accept them. Before Natalie knew it, the weekend she had been anxiously looking forward to had arrived. Around 200 bikers showed up on a wide assortment of bikes, both old and new. Natalie was there, dressed in her jeans, t-shirt, boots, and the jacket her biker friends had given her. Most of the bikers wore helmets, including Natalie as she was not about to splatter her brains all over the pavement if she should have her first mishap. Grace came to watch as well as Schanke and his family. Standing next to her husband, Myra tried to control their ecstatic daughter. Jenny stood as close as her parents would allow and peered at the bay of bikers trying to find Natalie. "There she is! Over there," the excited child whooped and pointed to Natalie. Myra noticed that Natalie looked quite natural and at home on her Harley. Glancing over at his wife, Don was surprised to find that Myra didn't think Natalie's biking all that strange. Then he remembered that his dare-devil wife liked to do things such as rock climbing. As the sun rays' danced off her bike, Natalie's thoughts drifted to Nick alone at the loft. She wished Nick could've been there but the daylight made it impossible. Before sadness could firmly get its grip into her, the announcer's voice caught her attention, "Welcome to the first annual Victorious Biker's Run for The Sheridan Children's Shelter. A big thank you to all the bikers and the audience for your participation." The announcer paused then raised a cap gun in the air, "Biker's start your motors!" A bang, then hundreds of bikers roared by Grace, Jenny and her parents. Jenny had her fingers in her ears, startled by how loud all the bikes were. The route Natalie and the Victorious members she worked with had laid out would take them on a grand tour of the city before returning to their starting point about three hours later. By the time it was all over they had raised $65,000 from individual and small businesses. From larger businesses they raised another $750,000. Natalie had raised about $1,000 from her coworkers while Nick had raised about that much from his. After Natalie had returned, she was surrounded by friends and questions. One of those questions Natalie never expected. "Natalie...um...could you take me for a ride?" Grace asked, a bit uncertain. Up to now she had never had the courage to ask, but had been curious for a while and wanted to ask before she lost her nerve. "Sure. Hop on. Be sure to keep your feet on this thing here and hold on." Grace climbed onto the bike behind Natalie. One of Natalie's biker friends handed Grace his helmet, which she put on before wrapping her arms around Natalie. Once Grace was all set Natalie set the bike into motion, slowly at first so she wouldn't scare her friend. She circled the block before returning to the rest of her friends. Grace climbed off and handed back the helmet. "So, what did you think?" Natalie asked curiously. "It sure is noisy. It was interesting, but I think I'll stick to my car." "Anyone else want a ride? How about you, Schank," Natalie asked teasingly. She wished Nick could be there to see this, then realized Myra was catching it all on her videocamera. "I don't know." "Oh, go on Schank." Grace encouraged. "Okay." "Daddy, can I ride?" "Maybe later," Schanke wasn't sure he wanted his daughter riding on a motorcycle. Schanke had trouble getting on and wasn't sure where to put his hands. Schanke plopped the helmet onto his head before fastening it into place. "Wrap your hands around my waist. Trust me. You'll be glad you did." Schanke did as instructed. Natalie took off slowly, knowing he was probably a little easier to spook. Again she circled the block before returning. "That was fun. I don't think I could handle one on my own. I don't think I have that good a sense of balance." "Daddy, can I ride?" Jenny asked, nearly begging. "I don't want you riding without a helmet and I'm afraid this one's too big." Jenny pouted. One of Natalie's new biker friends saw Jenny's reaction and approached Natalie. "She can use my daughter's helmet. I had hoped she would come today, but she had other plans. She's about her size." "Daddy, can I?" Jenny asked begging. "Okay. I want you to do everything Natalie says." Jenny smiled as she put on the helmet and approached Natalie. Schanke helped her climb onto the bike and made sure she was properly settled. Once Jenny was settled and ready Natalie again took off slowly and cruised around the block. When Natalie returned Schanke helped Jenny off the bike and couldn't miss the large smile on her face. It reminded her of Katie, and how much she had enjoyed their rides. "That was really cool. Thanks, Natalie. Can I have another ride sometime?" "That's up to your dad." "Wait till I tell my friends." Jenny was quite excited about the mini adventure. Natalie was happy as she watched Jenny's eyes glimmer with excitement. She smiled thinking that for this one day, she was normal, if there was such a thing. Quickly, she banished any negative thoughts and chose to enjoy this day with her friends. "Can I have a ride?" Myra asked, curiously. "Sure. Hop on." Myra handed her video camera to Grace, strapped on the helmet handed to her, and wrapped her arms around Natalie's waist. Natalie again took off carefully. She knew Myra would probably be the hardest to spook, but didn't want to scare her. After a trip around the block, Natalie returned, Myra hopped off and returned the helmet. "That was fun. Can we do it again sometime?" "Sure," Natalie said, pleased. That evening Natalie and Nick watched the tape. The happiness he saw in her eyes filled him with a rare joy. They laughed watching her and Grace convince Schanke to get on the bike. Then watching him mount, grab on as if it was a bucking bronco, and then later dismount. Myra had done an excellent job of capturing the event. Grace also did just fine when she captured Myra's ride. Nick noticed the excitement of the day had tired Natalie, and now that it was all over, she stifled a yawn, not wanting Nick to know that she was sleepy. He was worried about her taking on too much and didn't want her new enthusiasm for life to have an adverse effect on her health. "Natalie, I'm glad you had a great day, but I don't want you to take it so far it hurts you." "Oh, excuse me. That's right you're the expert on my disease. The very one that doesn't have to worry about dying!" Her heavy, nasty sarcasm turned into a genuine hurt mixed with anger as she continued. "Can't you just be happy for me, that I actually had *one day* where I felt normal!" "I'm sorry. I just don't want to see you accidentally hurting yourself. I'm very glad you had such a terrific day." She saw the sincerity in his face, his eyes especially, and heard the sentiment echoed in his voice. How could she stay mad at him when she knew he was only looking out for her. She loved him even more for it. "I'm sorry, too. I know you're just looking out for me. I'm glad, too." She smiled. "Did you remember your pills?" Nick asked, hoping it wouldn't ignite another fight. "Yes. It was hard taking them without being spotted, but I did." Natalie understood and didn't make a big deal of his question. Nick was amazed at the things he did not know about his wife. He was surprised to learn Natalie was a hockey fan. A fact he discovered when he entered her office while she was watching a game during lunch. A few nights later she surprised him with tickets to a night game. They both enjoyed the game and decided to catch any night games being played on their nights off. Nick usually picked up the tickets. By the time the third anniversary of her diagnosis arrived, she was still healthy and asymptomatic. They began to truly believe she would go on for many years before the symptoms would start. They rarely thought about her disease anymore. Her health kick had become a way of life that she did not give much conscious thought to. Her CD4 level had remained stable, right around 800. Natalie knew too much about the disease to be overly optimistic, but was determined to try anyway. She saw the hope and uncertainty in Nick's eyes and remembered when he did not have any hope at all. She could tell that sometimes he felt badly being about being the one who would live forever. That he wished he could share that with her without turning her into what he was. Natalie and Nick had become used to the strain of her extra doctor visits, blood work, the waiting to see if her T-cell level remained stable and she remained asymptomatic. This strain, added to the regular problems of life, caused them to have disagreements from time to time, but they could not stay mad at each other for long, knowing how precious and short life was. They were surprised by the fact they were still making adjustments to being husband and wife. They figured they would've had most things worked out by now and life would be pretty routine, at least the marriage aspect of it. Disagreements about who was driving when they went out, or where they went or wouldn't go, purchases for the loft and things like that caused a few disagreements. Natalie's continuing wild streak also caused some arguments as Nick still worried that she'd try to do too much and cause the disease to progress faster. He understood why she was doing all she was, but it also made him wonder how far she'd go. She understood his concern and tried to reassure him that she was being careful, that she had no secret death wish. Some of the toughest times for them were right after each doctor's visit while they awaited the latest results. They were surprised how little interference they had from LaCroix. They figured that he was watching and waiting for the right opportunity to try and convince Nick to bring her across, or possibly do the job himself. Her sometimes outrageous ideas for new adventures had been tamed somewhat by the passing time and the fact that Grace and Schanke, even Nick to some extent, were beginning to wonder if she had lost her mind. Nick knew why she did most of the stuff, but still had a little trouble believing that she was capable of dreaming up some of the ideas she did. Natalie's wildest adventures that year had been water sports: riding a jetski, windsurfing and water- skiing. It had been a hot summer and the cool water had felt great. Since these things can only be done during the day, she was forced to do them without Nick. She had dragged Grace along to videotape her escapades so Nick could enjoy them as well. Grace thought Natalie had lost her mind, but on the other hand she was glad Natalie was enjoying life, and was getting out of the lab more often. Nick loved watching the tapes, watching his wife slowly getting the hang of each activity, glad he wasn't out there with her. This fact did not go unnoticed by Natalie, but she couldn't get mad at him, she couldn't blame him either as she had startled herself a few times with her ideas. One afternoon during the early fall Natalie called the Schanke residence. "Hi, Myra. Do you have a few minutes?" "Hi, Natalie. What's up?" "Do you still have your mountain climbing gear?" Natalie asked, hoping Myra did. "Yes. Are you taking up climbing?" Myra asked, curiously. "I'm thinking about it." "Natalie, are you free this afternoon?" Myra asked, more curious than ever. "I don't have to be at work until seven. Why?" Now it was Natalie's turn to be curious. "Meet me at the Shamrock Gym in thirty minutes. Okay?" "Sure." Natalie couldn't wait to see what Myra had planned. "Come prepared for a workout." Myra said before she hung up. Half an hour later Natalie entered the Shamrock Gym, dressed in leggings, sneakers and a long t- shirt. She had a lightweight windbreaker over her shirt. Natalie saw Myra just inside the entrance and approached her. "Hi. Why are we here?" "Hi. I thought you might like to learn how to climb in a safe environment." "Thanks." Natalie motioned for Myra to lead the way. Natalie followed Myra into one of the large rooms, where she noticed that one wall was covered with a rock like surface. "Myra, good to see you again. It's been a while," Kevin said. He was about Nick's height with dark brown hair and looked to be quite fit. "Thanks, Kevin. This is Natalie. She wants to learn to climb." Kevin explained the fees and how the lessons were structured. Natalie had to fill out a form listing her name, address, phone number and who to contact in case of an emergency. "Myra, are you up for a climb?" Kevin asked. "Sure." "Do want someone to supervise you?" Kevin asked, knowing Myra was a capable climber. "I think I can handle things." "Okay." Kevin motioned for Natalie to follow him as he headed for the beginner's section of the climbing wall. As soon as both he and Natalie were at the wall he handed her a safety harness. She fastened the belt around her waist and felt him clipping a safety line to the back of her belt. "All you have to do is climb to the top. Look for the best hand and foot holds you can find. The safety line will catch you if you fall." Natalie hesitated a moment, watching Myra scaling the intermediate part of the wall. Natalie noticed that Myra also wore a safety harness. Natalie knew she had to start and looked for her first foot and hand holds. The first step was easy. The further up she climbed the harder it was. The cracks became harder to find, and the spacing was more awkward as well. About half way up she lost her footing. The safety harness caught her. Kevin lowered her safely to the ground. "Not bad for a first try. Care to try again?" "Sure." Natalie said as she started back up the wall. This time she knew one pitfall to avoid. Natalie was a little more sure of herself this time. She was careful when she reached the spot she fell from. She made sure she found a secure hand hold and foot hold before progressing. The last third was the most difficult part of the climb, forcing her to look around for her next foot and hand hold. By the time she'd reached the top of the fifty foot wall she was tired and felt great. She couldn't believe she'd made it to the top. Natalie was glad she'd be repelling down, rather than climbing as it would be a very difficult climb. "You climbed up here and now you're going to repel down." She whispered to herself. She grabbed hold of the rope, made sure it was in place, her grip was correct and then pushed off from the wall. She was surprised at how fast she went down. She pushed off the rock each time she found herself close enough to touch it. She didn't land as well as she hoped to, frustrating her. Kevin saw the frustration playing across her features. "Don't worry about it. That's why we use the safety line." "Thanks. The line made me feel more secure. I knew that I could try harder and not have to worry about getting hurt when I fell." "Are you up for another go at it?" Kevin asked. "I think I've done enough for today. I don't want to overdo it the first time out." Natalie knew she would likely be sore either later or tomorrow. "That's very wise. You wouldn't believe how many people overdo the first time and then don't come back." "I can believe it. I'll be back." Myra approached. "Natalie, how about a quick bite before heading home?" "Sure. What do have in mind?" "How about the diner on third street?" "Sounds good. Let's walk. It's only two blocks," Natalie said, feeling great. "That's fine with me," Myra said. "I saw some of your climb. You did well." "Thanks. I saw some of yours too. You're much better than I am." "I fell the first time I tried, both going up and coming back down. You'll get the hang of it in no time." Natalie arrived at work right on time. Nick and Schanke were awaiting her arrival as they needed a few test results before they could finish up some paperwork. Grace entered with Natalie. "Hi guys. What's up?" Natalie asked. "Where'd you go this afternoon?" Nick asked. Natalie was gone when he woke and she didn't return before he had to leave for his shift. "Myra and I went out." "Myra said something about meeting you at the gym," Schanke said. "Have you taken up pumping iron?" Grace teased. "No," Natalie said. "I went mountain climbing and didn't do half bad." Natalie loved the stunned looks on her friend's faces. "The gym had a climbing wall so I could practice with a minimum of risk." Off her friends disbelieving looks she continued. "They hook you to a safety harness so when you fall they lower you safely to the ground. It felt great when I reached the top of the fifty foot wall." Natalie noticed her friends still seemed to be unconvinced. "Schank, Myra does it and you don't think she's nuts." "I did at first, but I get your point." Natalie was a little sore when she changed for bed, but it wasn't anything she hadn't felt after a long, busy shift. Nick noticed. "Why don't you stretch out and I'll give you a massage." Natalie smiled, loving the sound of that. She stretched out and soon felt his cool touch through her nightshirt. His touch was magic. She completely relaxed as she felt the soreness easing. Before long she fell asleep. Nick finished the massage and then went to bed himself. Natalie awoke the next morning feeling great. She rewarded Nick with a passionate kiss and matching embrace. Natalie and Myra went climbing at every opportunity they had. Both enjoyed it, especially since they had each other. By the fourth anniversary of her diagnosis they both strongly believed that she might be one of those who went ten or even twenty years without any symptoms showing. They began to relax. Although the thought of the next phase was never truly out of their minds, especially since they both knew women became sicker sooner than men. Thoughts of her future tended to stay in that dark corner where they had been pushed. That year they celebrated their second wedding anniversary with a night out on the town. She had let him pick how they were celebrating that year. Nick had booked them reservations at the finest restaurant in town as well as excellent tickets to the hottest play, after that it was up to her. Her zest for life and adventure had been contagious. Nick tried his best to fulfill all her desires. They both knew there was still a wish neither one could hope to fulfill. Grace teased Natalie every time she came into work with one of those 'cat that ate the canary smiles' on her face. Grace made sure Nick received his fair share of the teasing. She was pleased to see the thriving relationship between Nick and Natalie. She was pretty sure this would be one marriage that lasted until they died. Or until one died well before her time. Schanke enjoyed ribbing his partner whenever he arrived in an usually good mood. Nick let Schanke get in his teasing. Schanke enjoyed seeing the thriving relationship between his partner and the forensic pathologist. He too was sure the marriage would last for the rest of their lives. He too didn't know how short one of those lives would be. Schanke enjoyed seeing new sides to his partner, and was a little surprised by a few of them. Schanke did his fair share of ribbing Natalie as well, especially after he'd heard about her latest outrageous activity. Natalie's growing wild streak had him concerned as it was so different from the reserved woman he had known. In the time he had known her, he had never seen her act as she had in the last few years. He was glad to see her get out and enjoy life, especially when she dragged Nick with her, kicking and screaming. He couldn't shake the feeling that this new zest for adventure was somehow a residual effect of the rape. Her recovery amazed him, and he knew that Nick's support was a large part of it. Or that it was related to Katie's death. A nagging feeling in the back of his mind told him that there was something not quite right with the picture. He felt like he had a puzzle with a few crucial pieces missing. Pieces that only Nick and Natalie had. Natalie kept up her mountain climbing with Myra. Both had worked their way up to the advanced wall. It was an accurate simulation of a real climb. It was the hardest climb the club offered, and was rated as extremely difficult. Natalie enjoyed the muscles it helped her build, as well as helping her keep her body in shape. She felt great. She also found it easier to lift the corpses to and from her autopsy table, with someone to help her. Both she and Myra enjoyed each other's company as they climbed. They started investigating local mountain climbing groups. Both were unsure if they were ready for a real climb but were intrigued by the idea. Before they could do anything further about it Natalie became preoccupied with work. She had to help the police track down a serial killer. On the fifth anniversary of her diagnosis, Nick and Natalie entered the elevator with movies and dinner in hand, as they had decided to spend this one at home. As they approached the loft, Nick noticed the presence of another vampire and went on the alert. Natalie noticed and grew tense, awaiting the unknown danger. As soon as the elevator door opened they discovered that an unwanted intruder had made himself quite at home on the couch. "What are you doing here, LaCroix?" Nick asked, not at all pleased to see his master. "I came to have a talk with you. You look quite well Dr. Lambert, considering your condition that is." "How did you find out?" Natalie asked, curiously and a little angered that he had invaded this very private part of her life. Both she and Nick were surprised that he knew, or more particularly, had bothered to find out. Nick wondered if Janette had been forced to betray him, yet again. "I have my ways, lest we forget," LaCroix sneered, then remembered the purpose of his visit. "Nicholas, I trust you have considered the possibility of bringing the good doctor across?" LaCroix slowly walked behind Nick and spoke as if Natalie was not there, "The hour glass is running short of sand, Nicholas. You have the power to cure her. You must know she will not stay healthy forever." An evil smile crept onto LaCroix's lips as he reveled, "My poor son. Choices. They are your downfall." Nick fought to keep his composure. He took Natalie's hand into his and answered. "We have, and I will not do it. I won't condemn her to this existence." "I have not asked him to. I am well and plan to stay that way for many years to come," Natalie added, finally making her voice known. "Nicholas, you are willing to watch her suffer? To watch her slowly fade away? Are you willing to stand by and do nothing as she suffers one agonizing moment after another until the painful end, knowing that all that time you had it within you to stop it?" LaCroix paused to see what effect his questions were having. Nick looked unhappy but resolute. Underestimating his son's stubbornness once more, LaCroix shifted his attention to Natalie. "Dr. Lambert, do you really want to suffer the ravages of this disease when you could so easily escape?" "Yes." "We have made our decisions. She does not want to be rescued," Nick interjected. "I want to live each day to the fullest for as long as I can. Even when this damn disease robs me of life's simplest tasks." LaCroix knew he would likely fail in this attempt. He knew that Natalie would one day be very sick. It would be in those days, his son would grow weak and then maybe Nick could be convinced to bring her across. He was curious as to how long it would take for them to agree that she should join their family, and how much persuasion it would take. LaCroix thought. LaCroix took off through the skylight. A moment later Natalie let out a sigh of relief and relaxed. Confrontations with LaCroix always made her tense and edgy as she had to be completely on guard, never knowing what he would try. Nick took her in his arms. He felt the slight trembling of her body. "I'm surprised it took him so long to find out. Why did he even bother?" Natalie said curious and annoyed. "Because he knew it would annoy us. Because messing up my life is his hobby." Nick said. "He must've sensed something." "But what? Maybe it was the fact that we've remained happily married for three years now? But why tonight?" Natalie couldn't figure it out. "Why this night out of all the other nights of the year?" "I don't know. Maybe he grew curious as to what we celebrate on this night?" "Do you think he'd..." Natalie's thought's trailed off. "No. I don't think he'll bring you across against your wishes." Nick said. "Remember the story I told you about him and Fleur?" "Yes. But..." "I think he's using this as fulfillment of that promise. That's why I believe he won't bring you across..." Nick's voice trailed off. He knew he had to voice the other option. "Or kill you." "Will he keep showing up to taunt us?" Natalie suspected he would, when it suited his mood or purpose. "Probably. He does seem to enjoy making my life miserable." "And he wonders why no one likes him," Natalie joked trying to lighten the mood. Nick felt her slight trembling cease. "Go figure," he said, playfully sarcastic. "Are we going to let him ruin our evening? I, for one, am not!" Six months had passed. At five of twelve, Natalie was once again in Dr. Banks office, filling out the standard paperwork. She dreaded every appointment, fearing the news that the disease had progressed. It was harder this time because her appointment was on the same day as the anniversary of the rape. Natalie still wasn't sure why she had agreed to come. Maybe she needed to know that she was okay, or as okay as she could be under the present circumstances. The nurse stuck her head out the door, "Natalie, your turn." Natalie walked into the hallway and down to the empty examination room. "Dr. Banks will be with you shortly." Natalie knew the routine. She reluctantly changed into the paper thin gown that was open in the back and sat on the exam table. Her legs swung back and forth, trying to disguise her nervousness. A few minutes later Becky entered the room. She put on latex gloves, picked up a needle, unwrapped it and cleaned a spot on Natalie's arm. Natalie nervously bit her lower lip. Although she was in the medical profession, Natalie had despised needles sticking her ever since she was a little girl, and she despised them even more now. Now, instead of providing helpful inoculations each needle would tell her if she'd moved closer to her death. "I'm not thrilled by them either." Becky grinned. Natalie couldn't help but grin back. Then she flinched as the needle punctured her skin. She could feel it inside her. She knew the answer to the last question was no. Her questions surprised her. "How's married life?" Becky asked with a slight teasing tone. "It's great." Natalie's smile lit up her eyes. "There are the little things that creep up now and then, but they keep life interesting." "That they do," Becky agreed, knowing exactly what Natalie was talking about. "I wouldn't trade any of the little problems for anything." "Me either." She loved Nick, even when he was at his most exasperating. She wouldn't trade anything of their life together, except maybe not having this disease. Becky drew four large tubes of blood for testing. Natalie always dreaded this, fearing that the test might come back showing that her CD-4 count had dropped and soon she would no longer be symptom free. She knew Nick was not looking forward to it either. He was a tremendous support, one she didn't think she could do without. Becky removed the needle and had Natalie hold a small gauze pad over the puncture to stop the bleeding. It quickly stopped, and Becky covered the spot with a plastic bandage. Dr. Banks entered shutting the door behind him. He knew this day was never easy for her and had wondered why she had agreed to come in today, rather than waiting until her scheduled appointment at the end of the week. "Hello, Natalie. How are you?" "Okay. And you?" "Pretty good. Do you have any medical complaints?" "No," Natalie said. She liked him. He had never judged her. Never made her feel badly about being a rape victim. Or because she was HIV positive due to the rape. He was very supportive. "How are you doing emotionally?" He asked as he slipped into a pair of latex gloves and began the examination. He knew that emotions played an important part in a patient's well being. . "I'm fine. Nothing really to report." "I hear you've been trying to get more out of life. What's this about you taking up motorcycling and mountain climbing?" He asked with a grin. "That doesn't seem much like you." "I didn't think so either, but when I tried both I became hooked. My old car's temperamental, so it's nice to have a back up vehicle. It's also fun to see people's reactions as they discover that its me on the Harley," she said with a grin. "The climbing is a great workout. I feel great when ever I make it to the top of the advanced wall." "What do you think of married life so far?" "I'm enjoying it, even the little hassles." He continued with the thorough examination as they talked. She made sure he always had a copy of her gynecological results. "Well?" She asked, a little anxiously. "From what I can see here, you're in good health. I'll know for sure when the test results come back. I'll call you when I get them." "Thanks, I appreciate the way you always call me yourself." "You'll be getting some new information this time. We've started tracking each patient's viral load. It's a clearer indication of the amount of viral activity in the bloodstream. Several days later, Natalie arrived home to a blinking light on the answering machine, her stomach suddenly developed a giant knot. "Okay Lambert, we can't go through this every time that light is blinking. Just push the play button and what ever happens, we can deal with it..." She pushed all negative thoughts aside and listened to the messages, prepared to write down any that were for Nick. Most were sales pitches, but the last one caught her attention. "Natalie, this is Dr. Banks. Call me as soon as you get in. I have good news." She was relieved and dialed his number. "Dr. Banks." "Hi, this is Natalie Lambert." "Are you feeling okay?" He heard the nervousness she tried to keep from her voice. "I feel fine. It hasn't progressed has it?" "No. You're still quite healthy. The latest blood tests showed no changes in your T-cell level. Your viral load is still low." "Thanks for letting me know." She hung up, greatly relieved. Suddenly she needed to get out of there, but she did not know where she wanted to go. Nick was working so she had to find someone else to go out with. She went into her bedroom and slipped into a sleek black dress which came to just above her knees. She added a black blazer and called Grace. "Hi, Grace." "Natalie, what's up?" "I thought I'd call and see if you wanted to do something tonight. I thought maybe we'd go dancing." Grace was quite surprised. She didn't think Natalie was into the night club scene, but then again the last few years had been full of surprises. "Okay. Do you want to meet somewhere?" "How about I pick you up? That way we only have to take one car." She knew Nick would kill her when he found out where they were going. It was the best dance spot in town, or so she'd heard. A part of her didn't care. About twenty minutes later they were off to the Raven. Dressed in a black dress which came down past her knees, Grace shifted her black jacket as they sped past downtown. Natalie had told her that dark colors were best where they were going. "So, where are we going?" "A place that's a little different. The Raven." "Have you ever been there before?" "Only on business. I do have to warn you that a rather strange crowd has been known to hang out there, so watch yourself." Natalie knew Grace deserved a warning. That was the best she could do without saying that it was a vampire haven. "Are you sure it's safe?" "Janette's the owner. She keeps a close eye on things." She knew that Janette would do her best to see that no one hurt them. "She's the owner? I'm not sure if I should be surprised or not," Grace said. Natalie couldn't help but grin at that remark. "This isn't the best part of town." Grace noticed the area as Natalie found a parking spot right in front of the club. "It isn't the worst either." They approached the bouncer and were allowed to enter, much to Grace's surprise. Not to mention the surprise of the rather long line waiting to get into the bar. "Are you sure you haven't been here before?" "Okay, I've been here once or twice, but only to speak to the owner." Natalie wasn't ready to tell Grace about the twisted web she'd wound up in since she'd met Nick and other members of that community. She also wasn't sure Grace would believe her. Grace noticed the dark atmosphere of the club. The clientele and the chains didn't do anything to reassure her. She wasn't sure she either of them should be here. She drew her jacket closer around her as she stuck close to Natalie. She watched Natalie as they made their way through the club, noticing that her friend was on the alert, but no where near as uneasy as she was. Natalie lead the way over to one of the few empty tables. No sooner were they seated when a waitress approached, looking like a cross between punk and gothic. "I'll have a non-alcoholic wine," Natalie said. "I'll have the same." Grace said. She'd never tried one of those, but it sounded interesting. She was curious as to why Natalie would chose that, wondering if the club had something to do with it. Natalie saw Miklos at the bar. He saw her and nodded. Grace carefully let her eyes peer over one shoulder then the other. A feeling that countless eyes were staring at her was giving her the creeps. After a moment she had a distinct feeling that a few were watching Natalie closely. The wine arrived and Natalie took out her wallet to pay for it. "It's on the house." "Tell Janette thanks." "It is my pleasure," a French accented female voice responded. "Janette, it's nice to see you again." "Same here," both Grace and Janette said. "Natalie, does Nicola know you're here?" Janette saw Natalie's quick expression change. "I didn't think so." Grace was wondering why Nick didn't want Natalie here, outside of the strangeness of the place. "Natalie, what brings you here?" Janette asked. "I needed to do something different. Nick had to work, so I brought Grace." She had seen the unasked question in Janette's eyes. Janette looked most amused but said nothing. She had heard about Natalie's excursions on the wild side from Nick. She found his participation in them to be most amusing. "If you need anything let either Miklos or myself know," Janette said, directing it to Natalie. "Enjoy your evening." Janette headed back across the room to the bar where she found a filled wine glass awaiting her. She thought Natalie looked quite good despite what Nick had told her. She would never have known otherwise. It did make Natalie's wild streak understandable. "Natalie, why doesn't Nick like you coming here? If it's the crowd, I can understand that." "That's the reason. That and the location." Natalie knew she couldn't say anything about the clientele. "You should listen to him. By the way, who's Miklos?" "Miklos is the bartender." Natalie finished her wine and stood. "Care to join me on the dance floor?" Grace was unsure, but somehow she felt safer sticking with Natalie. Natalie knew that Janette's appearance had been only partially social, the rest of it was to show the others that she and Grace were not on the menu. Natalie enjoyed the music the club played and made a mental note to ask Janette about it. Once on the dance floor, Natalie and Grace had no trouble finding dance partners. Natalie kept an eye on Grace, just in case. She saw Janette still seated at the bar watching over the crowd, two of the patrons in particular. Natalie smiled and nodded to show her appreciation. After several songs Grace tired and headed back to their table, wondering where Natalie found the energy. Grace knew she weighed about forty pounds more than Natalie, knowing that was why her friend had so much more energy. She watched Natalie enjoying herself and grinned, remembering back a few years to when Natalie jumped whenever any man but Nick or Schanke were around. Now, there was no visible trace of that fear, although she knew that there were some invisible ones buried deep in Natalie's mind. A couple of songs later Natalie tired of dancing and headed for the bar. "You won't tell Nick, will you?" Natalie asked, uneasily. "No." Janette saw her friend relax with the reassurance. "Thanks." Natalie smiled and thought of how times do indeed change... She and Janette had become friends over the years, something she would never have believed if anyone would've told her. "How are you doing?" Janette asked. "Any marital problems?" "Nothing out of the ordinary, except for our sleeping in separate beds. I thought we might have a few more adjustment problems, but things are going pretty smoothly. I'm doing okay. My condition hasn't changed, and I hope it doesn't for a long while yet." Natalie was a little surprised not to detect any jealousy from the vampiress. She truly was happy for them, as she had said the last time they talked. "I'm glad Nick turned to you. He needed someone to talk to." "If you ever need someone to talk to..." "Thanks." Natalie said, sincerely. Janette nodded and seemed to consider something. She nodded, then lightly took hold of Natalie's hand preventing her from leaving. Looking into Natalie's eyes, Janette's voice carried a sincerity her face mirrored, "If you ever decide you want to join us, and can't get Nicola to do it, call me." Natalie was quite surprised by the offer. "Janette, thank you, really. But you and I both know he..." "Actually, he might not have that big a problem with it." Off Natalie's slightly confused look Janette continued. "I mentioned it to him and he didn't seem too upset by it. He loves you and I think he would honor your decision." "I know." Natalie grew silent for a moment considering how hard it must be for her once rival to make such an offer. Then she smiled and said, "Thank you, Janette... for everything." Natalie picked up her two non alcoholic wines. "I have to get back to Grace before she gets curious. She doesn't know about my condition and I don't want her to." "Yes, of course. Do not worry. I will keep your secret, just as you have kept mine and Nicola's." After bidding Janette a good evening, Natalie headed back towards Grace, setting the wine glasses on the table. "What was that about?" "Nothing, just chatting." When Natalie arrived home Nick was seated on the couch, reading a book. "Did wait up for me?" Natalie asked curious. She took off her coat, hung it over a kitchen chair, and walked over to the couch. She sat down next to him. "Yes. I was worried. You were out so late, and you didn't say where you went." His arm went around her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I never meant to worry you. After the latest results came back I had to get out of here. I had to do something physical." Upon seeing his concern she quickly continued. "I'm fine. There's no change in my condition." She saw his sigh of relief. "Did you have a nice time?" He asked before he recognized a scent on her clothes. "Grace and I had a great time." "How could you take Grace to the Raven? How could you go there?" Nick asked furious. He didn't want her pulling stunts like that, which endangered both her and Grace. Especially Grace, who was completely unaware of the dangers there. "Relax. I needed to do something different, and it was the first place that came to mind. The atmosphere matched my mood. It's a great dance spot. Grace doesn't know that it's a haven for your kind. I went there to dance. Janette came over and talked with us. She was at the bar the whole time we were there." It hit her that she hadn't told him where she'd been. "How'd you know?" "I smelled Janette's scent on you." Nick was calming down as she explained things to him. He knew she was level headed and trusted her judgment. He also knew she would never purposely endanger Grace. "You and those vampiric senses," Natalie said rather amused. "We talked a little, while I waited for Grace and my wine refills." She saw his expression change. "Don't worry. I made sure they were non alcoholic wines." She headed for the kitchen as she needed a snack. Before long she returned with a bowl of prepopped white cheddar popcorn and a glass of ice water. She plopped herself back down next to him. "It's not like I've never been there before." "What?" Nick asked, startled. He was making a mental note to question Janette about this when her voice and a gentle finger in the ribs broke through his thoughts. "I've never gone dancing there, but how many times did we go there for work reasons? Or to update Janette on how I was doing? Not to mention the few times I had to go there because you'd had too much to drink and were acting crazy, out of control." Nick realized she was right and calmed down. Natalie had been there numerous times, a few of them without him. "In a way, Grace is probably safer now than she was before. The Community now knows she's off limits, where before she was just another mortal." Once again Nick realized she was right, and the remaining tension dissipated. "Try and stay away from there, okay? I worry about you." "I will. I like that you worry about me," Natalie said with a slight grin. "I didn't really think of the benefits of it until just now." Natalie changed the subject. "How about some inline skating tomorrow night?" "Um, I have a mountain of paperwork to do." Natalie saw the slightly panicked look on his face and giggled. "It wasn't that bad, was it?" "Actually, the ice skating was worse." He saw her grin grow. "Okay. I'll go by myself." Nick didn't want her out by herself, especially at night. "I guess I could keep you company. I have heard that exercising is supposed to be more fun with a friend." The next evening, before work they slipped into their skates. He followed her, passing her from time to time. Natalie noticed that Nick looked more comfortable this time. They skated around the park, racing each other from time to time. After they finished skating, He bought her dinner before they returned to the loft to shower and change for work. A few months later, Natalie was one of the speakers at the annual forensic pathologists' conference. She had been asked to give a paper on some of the innovative solutions she had come up with for her most difficult cases. She was nervous, even though she had thoroughly prepared herself. Nick, Schanke and Grace had reassured her that she would knock them dead as they had all read her paper. She had used them as guinea pigs for her lecture. Some of the ideas in her paper had amazed her friends with their creativity. Nick knew the secret behind them, and liked how she had concealed the real reason, yet let the beauty of the ideas show through. Nick gave her a simple gold bracelet as a reminder of his love and faith in her, since he couldn't be in Seattle with her. The first morning of the conference was Natalie's session. Dr. Lambert nervously stood at the podium, yet a part of her was quite calm. She was very good in her field, but hated having to speak in front of large groups, or to the press. She looked down at her bracelet and felt Nick's loving support. She took a deep breath and started. As she spoke she saw various emotions play across the faces of the other forensic pathologists there. She surprised, amazed and impressed her colleagues. She surprised herself with how much she was truly enjoying the experience. After she finished with her paper she answered their questions. As she did this she found herself wondering what her colleagues would think if they knew what had sparked her creativity on more than a couple of occasions. She and Nick spoke on the phone each night, missing the company of the other. Nick loved hearing her tell of the day's events, and Natalie enjoyed hearing him do the same. During that week many of her colleagues approached her with questions and stories of their own. She was flattered by the interest and enjoyed hearing the stories from her peers. She attended a few classes to keep her knowledge up to date, knowing how crucial it was. A few of the other lectures she attended were incredibly dull, some due to subject matter and at least two due to the speaker's flat monotone voice and lack of a sense of humor. She also collected a ton of printed matter, everything from sample copies of journals to new books. She even managed to find a journal with some cutting edge AIDS information that she had not yet heard about. Just over week later, Natalie arrived home from testifying in court all day and decided it was time to access Sam Collins' records again. She was glad Nick wasn't home yet because she didn't want him to know. She sat down, booted up her computer and accessed his file. The file showed he had been exhibiting symptoms for the past ten months, and some of the nastier ones too. Ones she hoped to avoid. She realized that this was only the fourth time she had checked his records. The second time since her wedding. A small sense of relief spread through her as she realized that he was not getting off easily, that he would pay for what he had done to her. At the same time it terrified her. She knew she could get that sick, or sicker at any time. Again, she cursed Collins for giving her the damn disease. Two months later, Natalie arrived home from work, set down her briefcase, took off her coat, and kicked off her shoes. The answering machine was blinking. She nervously hit the play button. She felt her stomach once again knot up as the message tape rewound. "Natalie, this is Dr. Banks. Drop by my office later." Natalie's heart sank. Her shoulders slumped. Tears welled in her eyes. The disease had finally progressed. Just under six years was all the time she would have symptom free. Tears ran down her cheeks, but were quickly brushed away. "Damn you!" Natalie said, angrily. She erased the message, not wanting Nick to find out about it that way. She changed into something more casual before calling Dr. Banks office. Relief swept over her as she learned he could see her. She headed out, knowing she would be unable to sleep, or accomplish anything until she knew how much her condition had deteriorated. She hated the fact that women usually became sick sooner than men did. She also wanted to get out of the loft before Nick arrived, which he would be doing any time now. She couldn't face him now, not knowing exactly how drastically her condition had changed. Natalie arrived at Dr. Banks office and headed straight for the receptionist. "Natalie, he's expecting you. Go on in. He's in his office." Natalie headed for his office and knocked on the door frame. "Natalie, have a seat," Dr. Banks said as he closed the door behind her. He saw the sadness in her eyes, along with anxiousness and a slight touch of depression. "It's progressed hasn't it?" "Yes. Your T-Cell count has started to fall. It's currently just under 700. Your viral load has increased as well. Have any symptoms appeared yet?" "No. Or at least none that I'm aware of." She knew the symptoms would start any time now and that it could be months or years before she had her first opportunistic infection. "I know you're probably aware that Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia is the most common opportunistic infection." He knew she most likely had read up on HIV and AIDS and knew what was in store for her. He saw the depression the news had brought to her eyes, even as she tried to keep it off her face. "How's Nick handling it all?" "He's been amazingly strong. He's there whenever I need support. I can see he does have trouble with it all from time to time. He does talk with me about it. And when he can't do that, he has a friend he turns to." "Does he know you're here?" "No. He wasn't home when I left. I wanted to see you before I told him." "Do you have any questions?" "So, what now?" She knew there wasn't really anything more that could be done, other than joining first trials, but needed to hear that from Dr. Banks. She knew her viral load level would be very closely tracked as it showed the amount of viral activity in her bloodstream. "Other than tracking your CD4 and viral load levels, there isn't anything we can do. Keep doing what you've been doing and let me know of any changes." Dr. Banks wondered if she'd considered her other alternative. "Have you considered first trials?" He knew it went against medical advice, but had to offer it as an alternative. "Yes. They go against everything I ever learned." She knew that they were necessary for speedy drug approval. As soon as Natalie left the doctor's office she headed straight home, knowing Nick would be there and was grateful. Nick was working on a painting when she arrived. He grew concerned upon seeing the expression on her face. "What's wrong?" "My T-Cell count took it's first fall. It's down to just under 700. My viral load is up. I don't have any symptoms yet." She despised seeing the sadness which crept into his eyes as he heard the news. He walked over to her and wrapped her in an embrace. Her arms wrapped around him. They just stood there consoling each other. When they finally separated he said, "We knew this would happen one day." "I know. I had hoped to have a few more years." "I know. So did I." Nick gently caressed the side of her face. "We'll get through this like we have everything else." "I don't know what I'd do without you." The next evening at work Schanke noticed that both Nick and Natalie seemed to be a little down, but didn't know if he should say anything about it. He saw the tiny flickers of sorrow in their eyes. He knew that if they didn't want to talk about it he would get absolutely nothing from them. He hoped they weren't having marital problems. Natalie rode her bike to work more often, needing the sense of freedom it gave her. The breeze made her feel more alive. When questioned about it, she said that her car was acting up, often refusing to start. She liked wearing her biker jacket with it. When asked why she didn't ride in with Nick she commented that she needed a way to get to crime scenes. Natalie continued to use whatever spare time she had at work for research into Nick's cure. Nick sometimes complained about feeling like a pin cushion, but she knew it was all talk. She made no major progress, only a few minute discoveries. She also had yet to find a protein shake formula he would drink. She had tried at least two dozen recipes in the last two weeks. Once she thought she had been close, but she couldn't get him to drink that formulation a second time. She thought he seemed to like it well enough the first time. she wondered. He had seen how hard she worked at coming up with new formulas and would sometimes force himself to drink them without complaint, even though they often nauseated him. She finally asked him what he thought was missing from them, other than blood. He couldn't really answer her as he himself couldn't figure out what was missing. Natalie arrived at the crime scene and approached the victim, a woman in her mid forties who had been brutally beaten to death. As the M.E. examined the victim, she knew that the pale, thin woman was not a vampire because there was a body to examine. She couldn't give any other reason for the woman to be that thin, as there were too many medical conditions that it could be a result of. Back at the office, Natalie slipped into her scrubs and began the autopsy on the woman, sending out the blood and tissue samples for testing. Grace entered with the first test results as Natalie finished the autopsy. Grace left the files on the desk, as, she noticed her friend was a little busy at the moment. After Grace left, Natalie read the report, her face growing grimmer the further into the report she read. The victim had Retrovir, ddI, SMP-TMX, and ZDU running through her system, making the forensic pathologist wonder how far along the woman was and if the disease was the real cause of her violent death. When the blood test results failed to show the CD4 Lymphocyte level Natalie ran a quick and somewhat crude T-Cell count, finding the level to be just under fifty. This told her that the victim had AIDS and her nearly non existent immune system suggested, she probably had only a few months to live. She wished she could've done a viral load count, but knew it would be very high from the indicators she'd already noticed Natalie wasn't looking forward to the near future when she would have to take more drugs to try and prevent opportunistic infections. She knew that when she did, it would mean she would probably be almost too far along to continue working. She wiped away the single tear which ran down her cheek and forced her mind back on her work. Natalie found her mind wandering. The days passed. Natalie continued to enjoy life, knowing that some time in the not too distant future she would slowly become too ill to do so. That life would become a struggle just to live. She was grateful that her T-Cell count was still high enough that she felt as good as ever, and that her viral load was still relatively low. She and Nick still visited the pediatric AIDS patients. She found herself there more often than Nick, and figured it was because she wasn't strictly limited to nighttime visits. The children still amazed her. It hurt to watch some of them grow sicker. She cried when those she had grown to know well died. Even Nick shed a tear for them, because they were the true innocents. The one thing that helped Nick and Natalie accept the death of those so young was that the kids would no longer suffer, nor would their families. Once they had grieved for their losses the families would go on with their lives, always missing their lost child, but relieved that their loved one was no longer in pain and would never have to deal with sickness again. It also reminded Nick and Natalie how precious life was. It was something to be savored, not postponed until it was more convenient. It helped them put their problems and disagreements into prospective. One afternoon when Natalie awoke, she sat down, booted up her computer and accessed Collins' file. She saw that he was dying from AIDS. As she read his records, terror and a grim satisfaction crept into her. He had had Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, subacute encephalitis, and was now suffering from Karposi's syndrome and another case of Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia. He had only days to live.