Date: Sun, 4 Aug 1996 16:52:00 EST "Enough" is my own Last Knight continuance. Thus, it contains spoilers for LK, as well as Ashes to Ashes and Fallen Idol. The characters belong to James Parriot. The story is my own creation. The time is after the end of Last Knight, but not immediately afterwards. LaCroix has already denied Nick his wish, and he now is trying to convince him to leave, to let time heal his pain. If LaCroix's opening lines or Natalie's remembrances of LaCroix's words sound familiar, it is because they were taken from Last Knight. Please send all comments to JStroud@IQuest.net or Katie_725@aol.com. Katherine Stroud Enough (01/15) By Katherine Stroud JStroud@IQuest.net Katie_725@aol.com "If we truly care for a mortal, truly love one,... then we must go. Isn't that something that you taught me? Leaving is the purest form of love," LaCroix's words hung heavily in his son's heart, the truth searing through Nick's guilt and regret that he so often tortured himself with. After a long interlude, Nick traced Natalie's features with his hands. So beautiful, her life so rich that even at the brink of death, her sparkle still lay on her features. He traced her jawbone with his cold hand. Warmth, surpassing his, still radiated from her body. He desired to kiss her lips, one last sign of affection. Madness, from death be borne. Madness, indeed, wanting to kiss her. She was dying and yet he had life. Life which he could no longer waste upon the dying. He did not kiss her. He said no parting words to fall on deaf ears. He simply left, as his master implored. End of Part 01/15 Enough (02/15) By Katherine Stroud JStroud@IQuest.net Katie_725@aol.com LaCroix watched his son go. It was difficult, every bone aching to call out, to follow, anything but watch his son leave him. It was as it had to be. Nick forced his burdens upon others, ultimately destroying his receptacle and his pain. Left alone, he was forced to face himself, no one to fault. He would purge himself of his angst when he could no longer blame it on another. LaCroix's attention focused from the elevator door to Natalie. Her heartbeat, her breathing, erratic. Death hung closely by. Her body could easily be disposed of with little question. A quick slice with a knife could easily conceal the true cause of death. As for the lack of blood, it would only support the theory that her body had been moved from the actual crime scene. A small tear coursed down Natalie's temple and lost itself in her hair. A small tear that may have gone unnoticed if LaCroix hadn't been obseving her so closely. All at once, LaCroix was assaulted with the emotions that fell behind tears, pain, misery, sadness. LaCroix was not immune to these emotions. After two thousand years, LaCroix had seen horrid displays of cruelty. Not all had passed LaCroix untouched. Divia's image formed in LaCroix's mind. So strange that a dying woman's last tear should remind him of a daughter so long ago lost to him. No, not lost to him, lost to herself. A dark destructive urge that everyone, every vampire, every human, held. Some could resist those impulses, turning them instead into healthy emotions. Others, naturally weak, or weakened by circumstance, allow it to overcome them, annihilating those around them, and eventually themselves. That is what had happened tonight. Events leading to events, and a breakdown of willpower as a result. This mortal will die as a result. This mortal did not deserve Divia's fate. Divia had always lacked a certain restraint. Natalie, on the other hand, was strong, running on promises and ethics, but those were not enough. She should not have to suffer a permanent consequence for a temporary lapse of good judgement. LaCroix rolled up his shirt sleeve. A quick nip at his wrist brought a small pool of blood to the surface. With his other hand, he dipped on finger into his blood and smeared a small amount on Natalie's bottom lip. A reflex forced her to lick her lips, taking into her body her savior from death, and sealing her fate. He glanced at his wrist, his fang mark already healed. Bringing his wrist to her lips, he allowed her to drink the remainder of his blood left from the wound. With ease, he lifted Natalie to Nick's couch. After a short search of the loft, he found a blanket which he quickly enveloped Natalie in. She now slept, death no longer an immediate threat. Not wishing to be trapped in Nick's loft for the day, LaCroix retreated to the Raven. End of Part 02/15 Enough (03/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com One question worked its way through Nick's mind as he steered the Caddie away from the city of Toronto: Where? His subconscious mind had steered him south, away from the long, chilly winters that Schanke had so despised. Other than that, he drew a complete blank. Where depended on his profession. He could not deny that he felt it redeeming to work as a detective, but too many bad memories lurked down that particular hallway of his mind. Writing was a passion he had held locked inside for far too long. Perhaps now was as good as any to write. He needed some place quiet, serene; his concentration was easily broken. Perhaps he could lock himself away in a small cottage for fifteen or twenty years while he pursued his writing. Nick eyed the eastern sky, knowing it would be impossible to leave Ontario until tomorrow night. The sun would be up within an hour. Taking stock of nearby buildings, he decided on an abandoned warehouses's parking lot. Double checking for No Parking signs, he pulled around to the back. After locking it up tight, Nick lowered himself down into the Caddie's trunk resignedly. Sleep would not come easily in the small quarters of his trunk, but it would do for today. End of Part 03/15 Enough (04/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Inundated with unfamiliar memories, Natalie fought to regain consciousness. Her inability to control them frightened her. In response to her fear, her mind conjured up an appropriate mental image. She could feel the fire before she could see it. Great towering flames, flicking haphazardly in her direction. Through the fire, she caught glimpses of Nick. Nick taking the life from a beauteous woman. Nick fighting with LaCroix. Nick kissing Janette. This last image somehow fixed itself in Natalie's mind. Just as she began contemplating her situation, a great wall of fire came tumbling down onto Natalie. She simultaneously smelled her own flesh burn as she felt it. Expending no energy to free herself of the flames, she fell to her knees and began crying from the excruciating agony. She had lost consciousness, and after several hours of uneasy sleep, Natalie was thrust into the land of the living. No flames to burn her, yet she felt a great fire running through her veins. Fire without heat, chilling her. Natalie tugged the blanket closely, her first perceptions of her surroundings forming. The sun was just setting, and Natalie was in Nick's loft, on his couch to be exact. Yet he was nowhere to be seen nor heard. Instinct told her she was alone, in both the physical and mental sense. Even Nick's pervading memories were fading into the foreground, no longer threatening to swallow her own thoughts. Suddenly, the blanket gave her no comfort. She thought back to her last memories. LaCroix, saying something. What was it? "Heaven makes means to kill our joy with love, and yet we must have it, at any cost." There was more, a lot more, but the rest didn't really matter. More of the same manipulative logic and philosophy which were LaCroix's defining characteristics. At least there was no doubt as to whom the monologues belonged to. Even on her death bed Natalie would never have such perverse and pessimistic thoughts. On her death bed was where she had been, wasn't it? She could still feel Nick, his memories and his flesh. His cold skin as he embraced her, his cool lips pressing against her neck.... He had nearly killer her, but where was he now? Natalie felt an urgency to find him, at any cost. Levering herself up from the couch, she was surprised that her body was considerably stronger than she expected it would be. No dizziness, no ache. She could still feel the cold fire burning through her veins, but it didn't harm her. A thought struck her as she regained her footing. Surely she must have fang marks. She would have to conceal them if she was going to walk out of this loft. Natalie clicked on the bathroom light. Craning her neck at an odd angle, she searched for the marks that had to be there. She found none. It was odd, but unimportant at the moment. Her first task was to find Nick. He could explain what occurred during the missing gaps in her memory. End of Part 04/15 Enough (05/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Nick's hand paused as he reached for the radio. Would LaCroix still be broadcasting from CERK? If he was, would Nick really want to listen? Nick had remained with LaCroix through the centuries due partly to LaCroix's manipulation, yes, but Nick was partly drawn to him of his accord. LaCroix exuded confidence, something Nick had always lacked and had always been drawn to. Janette, Natalie, LaCroix, all possessed self-assurance, in what they were, where they were going. So admirable the quality, that Nick couldn't think of leaving any of them forever. One glimpse, one spoken word could draw him back to them. Nick's hand decided for him, turning the dial to hear LaCroix's words, rich and melodic. "Silence, the music of the isolated, the sound of the dead. Are you dead tonight? Is your isolation pushing you to the brink of madness, where the song of silence brings you your only comfort? It need not be that way. Isolation is chosen, not forced. Yet, we turn our backs on friends, family, and loved ones for our precious silence, where thoughts become clear, and decisions selfish." A solitary tear streamed down Nick's cheek. The words held true, but there was no one to return to. Natalie, Tracy, Schanke, were all dead. Should he return to tend to their corpses? Light a candle for them, and torture himself in his own memories? Nonsense. Nick clicked off the radio and steered out of the parking lot. End of Part 05/15 Enough (06/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Natalie had been drawn here. "Like a moth's drawn to fire," she mumbled. Indeed, Nick probably would chastise her for coming to the Raven. An eerie sense of belonging penetrated her thoughts as she surveyed the Raven's interior. Shaking her head of such bizarre thoughts, she approached the bar. "Is Nick here?" Natalie addressed the young bartender. Possibly a vampire, she was... unnerving to say the least as she took in Natallie's looks. "No, but LaCroix would like to speak to you. Through the back hallway, second door on the left," the soft-spoken, yet harsh looking woman told her as she pointed in the general direction. "Thanks," Natalie responded, her mind frantically racing through reasons why LaCroix would like to speak with her. She entered a room she immediately recognized as a broadcasting booth. The last drifts of a commercial could be heard as LaCroix turned them lower than human hearing range. "Of course, he could probably hear them," Natalie thought. "Quite right, Dr. Lambert. May I call you Natalie?" Shocked at hearing her thoughts responded to before she voiced them, she could only mumble out, "Sure." "I have pertinent information for you. Last night I made a decision for you that may well have saved your life. I gave you my blood," he said with a delicious grin. Natalie swallowed hard, trying to deny what LaCroix told her. It made so much sense. The cold fire running through her veins, the reason she had woke with the setting sun. "Why have I not felt my first hunger?" "Direct, something I admire in a person. I only gave you enough blood to heal the damage inflicted by my misguided son. Surely you are familiar with the effects of small amounts of vampire blood?" It was not really a question. He knew about Joey, the final act of that horrid night being held in the Raven, LaCroix part of the audience. As to the rest, Natalie was unsure about how much he knew. Just as she was about to ask, LaCroix interrupted, "One more question, Natalie. Then my faithful listeners need attending to," pointing to his broadcasting equipment to accentuate his statement. "Do you know where Nick is?" she blurted out, surprising herself. Apparently LaCroix was taken back as well, pausing before answering. "Not for certain. He is nearby, but he is leaving you... us. It is as it HAS to be." With that he turned back to his equipment, a not too gentle statement for her to leave. End of Part 06/15 Enough (07/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Nick was heading nowhere with a reckless abandon. A sense of purpose had long been lost. He drove to drive, the changing skyline pulling him onward. Barely noticing crossing the United States border, he drove south and on, occasionally side-trekking to this or that city. He barely acknowledged the fact that he would be spending the day in Indianapolis. He simply parked the Caddie and scrambled into the trunk before the morning's first rays could touch him. Thoughts of withdrawing money from an Automatic Teller Machine and renting a decent hotel room didn't even cross his mind. End of Part 07/15 Enough (08/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com LaCroix sat on his bed, a gigantic mahogany four-poster dressed with red satin sheets. Sleep was the last thing on his mind, though it was well past sunrise. He could still feel his son, their link radically diminished, but still present. Nick was drifting farther away, a purpose in life being absent. A cure for mortality meant a cure with Natalie, as far as his son was concerned. This was as obvious. Nick had held a firm belief in regaining his mortality, up until he thought he had lost Natalie. For the first time in two nights, LaCroix began to doubt the wisdom of allowing his son to believe his lady friend was dead. End of Part 08/15 Enough (09/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Natalie groaned as she pushed the last vestiges of sleep from her head. She had been having a nice dream, but its contents no longer were clear. Glancing at the clock, she knew that if she didn't get ready soon, Grace would come by and drag her out of bed. A one-day vacation would be all she'd get. "Better to not have your work pile up on you, doctor," she thought morosely. As she was driving to work, she realized that somebody, certainly Captain Reese, would ask where Nick was. She quickly thought up a response and began reciting it silently. "Last time I saw Nick I was at his apartment to tell him Tracy had passed away. Nobody felt much like conversing afterwards, so I went home and got some rest. I didn't feel like working the next night, so I took it off. Nick nor I called or visited each other. I have no idea where he is." It sounded like a textbook response. Right up there with, "My name is ______. I'd like to speak to my lawyer before I say anything." Right now, she couldn't think of anything more creative to say. As she was sure it had, her work had piled up in her absence. Two shootings, a jumper, an assault and rape, and a possible poisoning, were her cases. She guessed that she could get two done by lunch break, and the other three afterwards. Her first indication of trouble started around the time she started on the second shooting victim, her third autopsy. As she reached for the scalpel, ready to open the chest cavity, she felt the strong urge to open her own wrist with it. Her hands shook as she brought the instrument closer to herself. Red was all she saw. Like a mad Picasso forced to use only red paint. She saw herself a contorted figure, a three-eyed gargoyle filled with pain. Blood red figurine against a blood red background. Tossing the scalpel across the room forcefully, Natalie took stock of her situation. She was in no condition to work. It had to be done, but she was dangerous to herself. "I'll just take this paperwork to Reese, then I'll book off. No sense staying here." End of Part 09/15 Enough (10/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com LaCroix felt Natalie's emotions, their link conveying every gory aspect. She held a semblance of control, but she was being torn apart by the desires of her darker self. A darker self that had emerged with help from his blood. Ironic, that the only solution for bringing her back from death caused the exact responses that led to her earlier predicament. Knowing that she would come to him, without his suggestion, LaCroix uneasily began his broadcast for the night. End of Part 10/15 Enough (11/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Reese knew that Dr. Lambert was dangling by a thread when she entered his office. She was jumpy, glancing furtively at shadows, and didn't make eye contact with anyone. Her hands shook as she handed him the autopsy results. "These are the autopsy results from the John Doe and Parkerson cases from last night," her voice lowering minimally at the words last night. "I expect the other three bodies will be finished sometime tomorrow, assuming we don't get more work." "And?" Reese knew there was something more behind just what she was saying. As to how long it would take to exact the reason it was anyone's guess. "I'm still not feeling well, Captain. Could I book off the rest of tonight?" she finished timidly. "Of course. Take all the time you need." Natalie turned on her hell and advanced toward the door. A thought flickered through Reese's mind. "Have you seen Knight?" That was what was bothering her. He noticed her shoulders droop as she turned to face him. Whatever it was concerned Detective Knight, as if that was news. "The last time I saw Knight was two nights ago when I stopped at his apartment to tell him Detective Vetter had passed away. No one felt much like talking afterwards, so I went home. The next day I felt sick, so I took off work. I haven't seen him," she said monotonously. "And I haven't heard a more rehearsed speech in my entire life," Reese quipped back before his common sense could stop him. That broke the barrier. Natalie made eye contact with Reese for the first time upon entering his office. Tears were welled up in the corners, and he noticed dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and crying. His fatherly instincts took over as he covered the distance between himself and Natalie. Enveloping her in an enormous bear hug, he allowed her to cry without explanations. Explanations weren't needed, not really. She didn't know where Knight was, and that worried her. He had seen it countless times, often the ending being murder. He didn't like the miserable hopelessness in strangers, and hated it even worse in a friend. Knight better be kidnapped, or he will have me to face when he gets back...." he thought. End of Part 11/15 Enough (12/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Natalie felt uneasy as she surveyed the Raven. It was empty, no patrons, vampire or human, darkened the nightclub's doorstep. As if sensing her arrival, LaCroix stepped out from the back hallway just as she entered. Running her hands through her thick mane of hair, she could hear his low voice command her to come. Hesitant at first, still eyeing the Raven in all its emptiness, she crossed the room. "I have prepared this night for us. There will be plenty of patrons tomorrow night, and the night after that. This is for us." "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to seduce me," Natalie joked back. He stepped dangerously close to her, and as if on cue, Natalie punched him squarely in the jaw. Shocked by her own behavior, she apologized, "I... I just... it was nerves, a mistake. I didn't mean it." Rubbing his jaw in a mockery of human pain, he responded, "That is why we are here alone. You will be dangerous to yourself and others tonight. If you survive tonight, which I fully intend to achieve, my blood will no longer affect you. Now...," his voice lowered in pitch, the rhythm of his voice matching her heartbeat, "You will experience the most restful sleep you have had in years." She shook her head as the words permeated her thoughts. "No," a bare whisper, but easily heard by LaCroix. "NO!" anger reared its ugly head as she realized he was trying to hypnotize her. She began to feel doubt about coming here, and she turned for the door. LaCroix easily caught her in his arms, and he hauled her toward the back of the Raven. Releasing her into a room she could identify as a bedroom, his bedroom, he clucked disparagingly. "Too bad we couldn't do this the easy way," LaCroix said, feigning disappointment. End of Part 12/15 Enough (13/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com Nick had driven all night, his thoughts becoming crystal clear in the simple action of driving. LaCroix was his only family now, Janette wishing to be alone and his mortal family long dead; he had to be with his family. As the familiar skyline of Toronto emerged, so did the morning sun. He was forced to wait one more day for his reunion with his master. End of Part 13/15 Enough (14/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com After several hours of violence on Natalie's part, any serious damage to the room being prevented by LaCroix, she collapsed into LaCroix's arms. Her breathing was labored, her heartbeat fast-paced. LaCroix's words were barely a whisper, "Sleep now, tomorrow the demons will be gone." He took her over to the bed, where Natalie soon fell into a deep sleep. LaCroix, on the other hand, could not rest. He simply smoothed back Natalie's hair and whispered quietly into her ear. His words soon formed into song, and he kept her company as she slept on. End of Part 14/15 Enough (15/15) Katherine Stroud jstroud@iquest.net Katie 725@aol.com As promised by LaCroix, Natalie woke up at complete peace with herself. Faintly surprised that she was in LaCroix's arms, but content to be there, she shifted slightly to gaze up at LaCroix. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely. Just as LaCroix was going to respond, the door opened to reveal Nick, slightly disheveled. Natalie quickly left LaCroix's arms to join Nick. Anger was already transforming his features. "You betrayed me!" his voice containing an immense amount of grief. "No. If you'd had your way, we would both be dead. Is life such a horrible thing to contemplate that you would throw it away? I chose life, the life LaCroix gave me," her words resolute as she tried to not blame Nick for the last three days. "You do not love me." Nick's statement was not a question. "I've thought about that a lot, not just for the last three days, but for the last six years. I finally realized that I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with the concept of being in love. I never loved the man," she met his eyes, hoping he could understand what he meant to her. "I am still your friend. Is that enough?" Nick seemed lost in thought as he contemplated her words. Finally, with no wavering in his response, he said, "Yes." End of Part 15/15 Coming soon: Forgiven Sins (A sequel to Enough)