Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999 23:08:05 -0700 From: clark Subject: "Fangthy That" (01/01) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU I got a little silly, again, and wrote this on IRC. Thanks to Laila for the idea, and to everyone for the reactions. Permission given to archive at fkfanfic website. No other permission is granted to repost/reprint/reuse. If you're interested, drop me a line. As always, feedback is welcomed. This story is based on characters and situations that aren't mine. Thanks to TPTB for their use. "Fangthy That" by S. Clark Natalie looked over a Nick Knight, couch lump. He'd invited her over to watch videos, but he fell asleep during the middle of 'Casablanca.' The good part, too, when Ilsa sneaks up to see Rick. Instead of a night of snuggling, she found herself stuck with a night of snoring. Nat didn't even know vampires could snore. From there it got worse. Nick was obviously having some dream about his past. Natalie wondered at this since he spent enough time during his waking hours lost in memories, it didn't seem like he'd have enough left over to dream about. But he kept muttering "Janette, ohhh, Janette." Only it started to sound like "Zahneht, ah Zahneht" as his fangs descended." Natalie searched the loft, looking for some way to show her displeasure. It was one thing that she and Nick weren't a couple. That was a fact she'd, unfortunately, learned to deal with. It was quite another to have to listen, and see, his reaction to his thoughts on the past. Searching around, she found a long, pointed stick in a stand next to the fireplace. That was a more permanent solution than she had in mind, but she left it in place, just in case it was really needed someday. She next searched around the mantle, but all the bricks were mortared in too securely to be pried out. Besides, she wasn't sure one would fit in his mouth, even if she did get it loose. Then, on the table back next to where she'd been sitting she spotted it. The perfect thing. Natalie took care to address Nick's current, 'pherthanal prawblemth', then headed up for Nick's room and went to sleep between his satin sheets. ### Nat awoke, startled, by the sound of a wild animal being tortured. She slipped out of between the sheets, literally, and found herself tangled among them on the floor. Rising to her feet, shrugging off the sheets, Natalie raced for the doorway She looked down from the balcony and there, lying on the couch, she saw Nick. The noise was emanating from his mouth. He looked up at her, eyes awash with fear. "N'ghunk!" Natalie tried not to laugh. Then she remembered what Nick had done to anger her the evening before, and burst out in a side-splitting belly laugh "N'ghunk! Ah ya ew?" Natalie started singing to herself, "Deck the fangs with..." Nick scraped at his teeth but the offending substance wouldn't yield. "...stale jujube's, falalalala lalalala." "Zhuzhubeh's? Wah a zhuzhubeh's?" "Just the superglue of the candy kingdom, Nick." "Ie?" wailed Nick in a forlorn tone. "Don't worry, Nick, you're immortal. It'll wear off, eventually." She giggled. "Maybe." Nick bit down hard, hoping that'd remove the sticky substance. It only glued the jujube's that were stuck on his top teeth to his bottom teeth also, making it impossible for him to open his mouth. He went to the mirror in the bathroom, and was glad that, at this point in his vampire mythology, he appeared within. On the left fang was stuck red candies, and green ones on the right. He found it very annoying, yet nautical and seasonal. Nick paced through the loft wondering not only how he was going to get out of this one, but also wondering how he got into this problem in the first place. He had a feeling Natalie was rather angry with him. Natalie, meanwhile, placed the satin sheets back on the bed and settled in to sleep for another few hours. Down below she could hear water running, and she wondered how hot he would have to run it before the candies would start melting. She got up and locked the door, then went back to sleep. She knew by the time she woke up Nick would have healed. She didn't want to hear the whining or screaming in between. As far as she was concerned, Nick had said enough for one night."