Disclaimers: The lyrics for "Your House" are by Alanis Morrisette & Glen Ballard. "Your House" is from Alanis' album _Jagged Little Pill_. (For those of you who don't know, it is "hidden" after the last track, "You Oughta Know" at the end of the album.) Lyrics indicated by **. None of the characters belong to me (though I wish they did!) WARNING: This is definitely not N&N fiction although I am an N&NPacker. It just didn't want to cooperate with me. Shall we see where it leads? This is my first attempt at fanfic, so any feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thanks to Pat for her input, and to my DSS Convent Sisters (Monique and Wendy) for betaing and support! [Hey Sunny, I finally got the courage to post it!] --------------------------------------------------------- Forgive Me Love (1/1) by Cj (c) 1997 --------------------------------------------------------- **I went to your house **I walked up the stairs **And I opened your door without the ringing the bell After signing-off of her shift, Natalie drove, to Nick's house. She did not realize her destination until she was there. It had been almost two months since he had moved out of the loft. He said it was time to move on. Natalie sighed and leaned against the railing. She knew that it had to happen sooner or later. After all, she was getting hints from him when he got those far-off looks on his face, and when he avoided answering her questions. Little did she know at the time, that he was only moving out of the loft and not out of the city. He said that the loft held too many "dark memories" and Natalie had agreed with him. Natalie took that as a hint that their personal relationship would be progressing as well, after so many frustrating physical, then emotional set-backs. She didn't bother to ring the bell. Nick had told her that he would be at the beach. He had managed to get the day off. Again. Another sigh escaped her. Ever since they had achieved his goal of being mortal again, he wanted to spend as much time as he could in the sunlight. Who could blame him? After 700 plus years of darkness, Natalie was sure that she would try to enjoy every second of sunlight that she could, if their situations were reversed. Then there was the fact that he had accumulated a *lot* of vacation time, working the night shift. **I walked down the hall **Into your room where I could smell you **And I shouldn't be here without permission **Shouldn't be here Her five senses took note of his room but, she was unsure if she should be here, invading his room. The room had a much more pleasant ambiance than the one at the loft. She was no longer drowned in darkness when she stood in his room. It was quite the contrary, this room had large windows whose drapes were never closed during the day. She sat on his bed, reflecting on the contrast between the darkness of his life as a vampire, and the light that had entered his life since becoming mortal. She ran her hands over the sheets and noticed they were still silk, but were not black. Another sign of contrast, the sheets were a light tan color. She went to the guest room to retrieve some clean clothes. Despite her protests, Nick insisted that she leave some of her personal belongings there since she was around so often. Natalie reflected on the last night she spent there. It was after Tracy and Nick solved a particularly grisly murder. They had watched "When Harry Met Sally" and Nick seemed to enjoy the movie as much as she did. His eyes even glazed over at the appropriate parts of the movie. At the ending, she had accidentally spoken her thought aloud, "I wish that were us." Nick was startled and told her, "Nat, it's too soon. I ... I ... " he stuttered," ... do care for you Nat. And I love you, my light, but ..." Natalie shook her head of the memory. Tonight though, he had promised that they'd talk. They would talk after he picked her up at her place for dinner. They needed talk about their relationship. **Would you forgive me love **If I dance in your shower **Would you forgive me love **If I laid in your bed **Would you forgive me love **If I stay all afternoon She decided to do a little exploring. After all, he wouldn't be back for a few hours. She spied his robe in the corner. It looked so inviting. She remembered the blush on Tracy's cheeks (which rivaled her own) when Tracy accidentally found her in Nick's robe. And Nick with just his pajama bottoms. Nat wished that whatever Tracy thought had happened, actually occurred. But as it was, Nick had spilled cocoa over her clothes and she hadn't any spare clothes there yet. Nick offered his robe while he put her clothes in the wash. That incident is what prompted her to keep some clothes in the guest room. Natalie cleared her head of the memory. **I took off my clothes **I put on your robe **and I went through your drawers **And I found your cologne Natalie took a deep breath and enjoyed the heady scent that was Nick. She turned the bottle, looking for a label, but didn't find one. Shrugging her shoulders, she put it back in the drawer. **Went down to the den **Found your C.D.s **And I played your Joni Joni Mitchell's magnificent talents rang true as she listened to "All I Want". She clicked the CD player off after listening to the song. **And I shouldn't stay long **you might be home soon **I shouldn't stay long **Would you forgive me love **If I dance in your shower **Would you forgive me love **If I laid in your bed **Would you forgive me love **If I stay all afternoon Her muscles ached from her day at work and decided a bath would be nice. Natalie realized she only had and hour and a half, before Nick came home. She still needed to pick up her dress from the cleaners. She saw that he had an incense holder by the bathtub. She went over to his desk. She remembered him mentioning that he kept some packages of incense in the top drawer. She debated over which to burn, "vanilla" or "jasmine." She chose "jasmine" and lit it, making sure that the splashing water would not douse the flame. She returned the packages to his desk. **I burn your incense **I ran a bath and I noticed a letter **That sat on your desk Natalie saw that it was addressed simply, "Nicholas." There were few people left in the city who would call Nick by his full name. Her curiosity piqued, she picked up the letter, noticing that it had already been opened. For a split second, her conscience whispered, "Don't open it." But her curiosity always got the better of her. She pulled the letter out and opened it to see graceful flowing script on the expensive stationary. **It said "hello love" **"I love you so, love" **"Meet me at midnight" **And no it wasn't my writing **I better go soon **It wasn't my writing Tears streamed down her face as she read the graceful script that could only be *her's*. Natalie would have screamed, but something inside her snapped and her scream became a soft coughing sound. Instead, she calmly blew out the incense and gently placed the letter back on the desk. **So forgive me love **If I cry in your shower **So forgive me love **For the salt in your bed **So forgive me love **If I cry all afternoon [End of Forgive Me Love]