Date: Wed, 25 Oct 1995 14:01:38 -0400 From: maddog Subject: Get Your Hands Off My Fantasy (1/1) This little piece of silliness was inspired by a interview with Lisa Ryder (Tracy) in the latest issue of "In The Dark", the newsletter of the Forever Knight Canada fanclub, in which she states that one of her favourite movies is "The Sound of Music". WE DO NOT LIE!! JOIN THE CLUB AND CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF!! (P.S. The LaCroix-finds-out-Nat-likes-SOM story was supposed to be posted before this, but it isn't finished yet. Sorry.) **** "Get Your Hands Off My Fantasy!" - more inspired silliness by The Lurkers (Rastro and Maddog) Nick's caddy screeched to a stop in front of the apartment building, joining the mess of police cars and emergency vehicles blocking the street. Tracy was out the door before Nick had turned the engine off, bounding over to Captain Reese with far too much enthusiasm. /Ah, youth/, thought Nick affectionately, trying to remember what it was like. He climbed out of the car and headed over to join Tracy. "Neighbors reported a disturbance. When the officers got there they found that," the Captain indicated a body on a stretcher. Natalie was bending over it, finishing up her preliminary examination. "Well, he's dead," she concluded. Nick looked at the large butcher knife sticking out of the guy's chest and agreed that this was probably a valid diagnosis. "All right, you lot. Off you go and investigate the crime scene," ordered the Captain. "His apartment is on the thirteenth floor." He started to turn away, then added with a grin, "Apparently the lift is out." Natalie groaned, Nick rolled his eyes and Tracy smiled happily. "Great! I won't have to use the StairMaster tonight!" **** "C'mon Nat, it's only the fifth floor!" Nick urged her on, oblivious to the evil glare being directed at his back. "Yeah, but it was supposed to be my night off and I just had half a tub of Rocky Road," grumbled the Coroner. Her bad mood was not helped by Tracy continually running up and down the flights of stairs. /Ah, youth/, thought Natalie unkindly, remembering that hers was slipping away. She hoped Tracy would fall and break something. Nick reached the landing for the sixth floor and stopped to let Nat catch up. Tracy was running up and down on one stair, humming something. It sounded familiar. Tracy felt him staring at her. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" "That song you're humming. I know that song." Tracy smiled happily (she did that a lot). "Well, of course you do! It's from the greatest movie ever made, 'The Sound of..'-" "- Music', I know, I know." Nick sighed in resignation. "Don't tell me, you love it and have watched it two dozen times." "Three dozen actually," enthused Tracy. "You like it?" Nick shuddered. "I loathe it. Especially that little goatherder song." "Oh, I love that one." She broke into song, "Yodel-he, yodel-lay-he-ho.." Nick grimaced and covered his ears. He looked around for Nat, belatedly realising she wouldn't be any help. She loved the silly thing too. "Natalie," he complained, "she's another one of your lot." Nat slapped his hands away from his ears. "So I heard. Tracy, I wouldn't sing that song around him. He gets decidedly pissy when he hears Julie Andrews." "Why? I don't understand. He doesn't like the Sound of Music?" Nat shrugged. "What can I say, he's just not human." Tracey stared at Nick a moment, then ran on up the stairs, singing "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" at the top of her lungs. **** "So what are you doing later?" Nick asked Natalie as they searched the apartment, looking for evidence. He was still in a bad mood - Natalie and Tracy having done nothing for the past hour other than to wax lyrical about Captain Von Trapp's "assets" and sing 'Sound of Music' songs together. Natalie was happily humming 'Do Re Mi' as she put bits of evidence in her little plastic baggies. "I thought I'd invite Tracy back with me to watch a movie. And you're not invited", she added. Nick was obviously still pissy and would be no fun at all. "I assume you'll be watching that movie," he said. "Maybe you should invite *LaCroix*, since he seems to enjoy your company so much." Nat looked at him thoughtfully. She didn't think this would be a good time to mention that she'd actually been spending her evening off sharing the 'Sound of Music' experience with LaCroix (well he did have a big screen TV, a laser disc player and surround sound, plus wonderfully comfy leather couches, and he thoughtfully kept her supplied with Ben & Jerry's and Cadbury chocolate). When her beeper had gone off he'd stopped the machine and promised not to watch any more till she returned. She wondered if he'd mind if she brought Tracy back with her. "Nick, that's a great idea! I'll call him right now!" "Nat, that was a joke!" Nick stared in disbelief as Natalie flipped open her phone and called the Raven. Unfortunately his vampire hearing had been temporarily nullified from exposure to Tracy hitting the high notes in 'Climb Every Mountain' and he missed most of the conversation. Nat flipped the phone shut and smiled at Nick. "Hey Tracy," she yelled, "wanna go watch a movie?" **** "You know," Natalie said to LaCroix, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea." She had her feet up on the couch and was halfway through a tub of Mocha Chocolate. Tracy had already polished off the remains of the Rocky Road and had gone to the kitchen for another. "If she'd just stop singing!!" LaCroix was forced to agree. He didn't mind when Natalie sang along with Julie, and he didn't think she minded when he accompanied Christopher, but neither of them was tone deaf. Tracy apparently was. Either that or she just couldn't sing. Natalie came to a sudden decision. "LaCroix, you have to get rid of Tracy for me." "What?" LaCroix started in disbelief and spilled the AB-negative down his shirt. "Why? I thought you liked her!" He mopped at the blood with a napkin. "You told me I had to stop doing that sort of thing or you wouldn't sing the duets with me! Besides, she's Nick's partner and he'd be very annoyed with me. And she shares our passion for the 'Sound of Music'. We can't get rid of a fellow fan! Even if she is tone deaf." Natalie tried to explain. "LaCroix, with her around I have to share Captain Von Trapp! I don't want to share Captain Von Trapp. He's mine! I saw him first! She probably wasn't even born when The Movie was made! Imagine how you would feel if Nick had a thing for Maria! You'd get rid of him yourself!" LaCroix quite understood. He nodded slowly. "You're right. Nicholas should think himself lucky he doesn't feel the way I do about certain governesses." "Okay. You get rid of Tracy and I'll stop helping Nick." Natalie's eyes were unnaturally bright, probably due to way too much caffeine, sugar and Christopher Plummer. "Then I'll have Captain Von Trapp all to myself. Deal?" Once more LaCroix was forced to agree. "I see your point about sharing. Okay, the bimbo is toast. Now can we fast forward to the bit where I - I mean Captain Von Trapp - yells at you? I mean, at Maria?" Nat smiled at him. "Of course." She dug out another spoonful of icecream. "And thank you for dealing with the skinny blonde. Can you make it look like an accident? We wouldn't want to upset Nick, would we?" **** ***************************************************************** Rastro and Maddog We're Lurkers, We Lurk In Corners We Do Our Little Thing In The Background