Date: Sat, 8 Jun 1996 02:24:49 -0700 From: Julie Jekel Subject: Corrected "Graveside"--LK SPOILERS! I'm reposting this because of a little typo that causes a big problem with the story. SO please ignore the previous posting and read this one carefully. :) This story was inspired by the song "In My Life" but I'm not categorizing it as a song challenge story because of the way the song fits into the story. S P O I L E R S P A C E ! ! ! Graveside He stood at a distance, hidden in the shadows, watching the solemn assembly around the coffin. His roses, probably only accepted because he had sent them anonymously, joined the plethora of other flowers around the open gravesite. Two dozen fragrant white roses, a last gesture of love to the one person in his life that had remained untouched by his darkness, by the bloodstains on his soul. No...he could not say she had not been touched by it. The darkness had killed her, and not just in the moment when he felt her life slip out from under his lips, but from the day he had met he had poisoned her life. But even through that poisoning, she had remained a bright, pure, star of hope for him. Hence the white, as a symbol of what she had been to him. It was just like her to put it in her will that the funeral should be at night, so he, and others of the Community could attend. He knew she had never expected him to be unable to be among the mourners, because he was the only suspect in her murder. None of the mortals at the service knew that many of those circling them were vampires. The only one who would have known had already been buried, and the only vampires she would have known about were also hidden in the earth. Natalie's eulogy spoke only of the pathologist, the human, not of the woman who healed Immortals, and had helped him search for a way to leave the night behind forever. They didn't know that the reason she had asked that a cross not be put on her tombstone was so that he could visit her grave. He thought back to that last tragic evening, when grief and desperation had driven them to the rashness that had killed her. In the first moments after he realized he had stolen her life from her, his only thought had been to join her, so that together they could face whatever awaited them. But it was not to be... ******flashback****** "Damn you, Nicholas!" LaCroix grasped the ornately carved stake tightly, the knuckles of his already-pale hands turning whiter with each passing moment. He raised the wooden weapon above his head, trying to gather the strength to thrust it through his 'son's' heart, as he had been asked. His lips were tightly pursed, and his usually scornful eyes were filled with agonizing indecision. His hands hesitated, and in that moment of doubt, he saw Nicholas shiver, and knew what choice he had to make. With an angry howl, he turned, and threw the stake with all his strength through the window which was shuttered against the day to come. The >deadly javelin pierced both glass and wood, sending splinters of both crashing noisily to the ground outside. Stunned by his Master's betrayal, Nick sprang to his feet, his eyes gleaming golden with anger. "LaCroix--!" The older vampire cut him off sharply with a fierce glare. "I will not let you do this! I will NOT let you take the easy way out!" Nick just stared, startled by his master's words. "What do you mean?" "I'm surprised you want to die--you're so fond of your guilt. But the one time you most deserve that guilt you want to escape it by commiting suicide." The older vampire sneered. "I would never have taken you for a coward, Nicholas. Never until now." "What right do you have to say what I do and don't deserve?" Nick lashed out. "You wanted Natalie to die! And you wanted me to kill her! Well, she's dead now, and at my hand! Are you happy?" LaCroix's response, much to his protege's surprise, was softly sad. "You're wrong, Nicholas. I did not want her to die, at your hand or anyone else's." "Don't lie to me!" "I'm not. Oh, I admit, at first I wanted her dead. I wanted her to >die because I thought she was taking you away from me. I wanted her to die because she reminded me of Fleur, and I thought she didn't deserve to live if your sister had to die. I wanted her to die because she reminded me of the fact that you could never accept what I considered my greatest gift to you. And I wanted her to die because I could see that you loved her." "And you're telling me you changed your mind?" "Yes, I did. For some time now I have wanted you to bring her across, not kill her. I have no desire to see her die." "Because you knew bringing her across would be worse for me," Nick spat. LaCroix nodded in acknowledgement. "At first, yes. When I began to >see that you would rather risk her life than 'condemn' her to our kind of >life was when I first began to contemplate the idea. But that did not remain >my reason. I wanted you to bring her across because I began to realize what >a loss to the world it would be to not have her in it." "Then why didn't YOU bring her across?" "Because I knew you would only accept such an action if you performed >it yourself. If I brought her across, it would only drive you farther away from me, and you would take her with you." "If you didn't want her to die, why didn't you stop me?" he asked softly, a final challenge. LaCroix sighed. "I don't know." *****end flashback***** LaCroix had been right. As much as he wanted to be with her, to die would have just been another means of running away. But he had not broken his promise to her--she was still with him. He carried her memory close to his heart, and always would. But now, he had to find away to carry on the vision they had lighted together--to regain his mortality, to try to undo all the evil he had brought into the world by giving it something good. He was only here to say goodbye, from a distance, to the corporeal form of his beloved. The faint strains of a song drifted from the service, and Nick froze, dark red tears welling up in his eyes as he recognized it. There are places I remember All my life, though some have changed Some forever, not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places had their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life, I loved them all. It was their song. Nat must have asked that it be played, since no one else knew it's significance to them. Not even LaCroix. No one else knew that sharing that song with her was the closest he'd ever come to telling her how much he loved her. *****flashback***** It had been one of those rare times when Natalie had managed to talk him into doing more than just watching videos at the loft. They were actually sitting in a pizza parlor, waiting for the personal pan pepperoni that Nat had ordered. Nick had shifted restlessly in his seat, trying to ignore the nauseating smell of garlic that pervaded the restaurant. He hadn't wanted to come here, but for her sake he would endure it this once, even the garlic. "How are you doing?" she asked him with a hopeful smile. "All right, I guess," he replied. "Nick, my pizza won't be ready for a while yet. You don't have to stick to that seat as if you were glued into it." He looked up at her, surprised. Nat's smile turned impish. "Come on." She stood, grasping his hand and tugging him away from the table. "Dance with me." He followed reluctantly. "But there's no music." "So, put something on." Nat nodded in the direction of the jukebox. "Unless of course, you don't keep up to date on music..." He glared in her direction and bent over the brightly colored machine. Although he wouldn't have admitted it, there were very few tunes that he recognized. As his thoughts wandered, he let his fingers trace the glass above the song titles. Then he stopped. There was one title he recognized, though he thought it had been sung by the Beatles, not Bette Midler, whoever she was. His mind drifted back to the last time he'd heard the song, and smiled softly. If this was the one he was thinking of, he had to play it. He slipped a quarter into the box and listened to it clatter down to fall on top of a hundred others just like it before carefully pressing A63. The music began a few moments later. It was the melody he remembered, but softer, less hurried, perfect for dancing. Smiling, he took Natalie into his arms. But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them But in my life, I loved you more. "That's beautiful," Nat whispered softly, her eyes closed as he guided her gently in a simple dance. "It's you, Nat. It's for you." Her arms tightened around him, understanding. This song was the words he could never say. It was the promise he could never make. It was the love he could never express. And she would never listen to this song the same way again because of it. *****end flashback***** It was as though she were singing it to him now. And in the lyrics he had used to show her his heart, she was showing him hers. Showing him that she forgave him for bringing the darkness into her life, and for not joining her in death. And as always, there was her faith in him. Faith that he would find the object of his quest, his mortality, so that he could join her one day when the time was right. Though I know I'll never, ever lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think of them But in my life, I loved you more "I loved you more," he whispered softly in tune with the dying strains of the music. With one last lingering gaze in her direction, he turned and began to walk away into the night. Tomorrow, he would begin searching, searching for something to fill his life and give his future meaning, now that she was gone. Somehow, he knew that wherever she was, Natalie heard and understood. And on the wind he heard a faint echo of her voice, whispering the words back to him. "I loved you more." end Nightdancer JJ --> Leaper, Chancer, Knightie, developing X-Phile :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: MAKE THE LEAP IN FIVE--Help bring Quantum Leap to the big screen by 1998! SAVE STRANGE LUCK--It may be cancelled, but we can bring it back! :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: There are no coincidences in life, only connections we haven't yet seen.