Date: Tue, 1 Aug 1995 22:12:18 -0400 From: Chanda Keith Subject: I Did WHAT Last Night? Part 1 This is my second attempt at Forever Knight fiction. I hope you like it. If you don't know who Isis is, please look at my story "Janette and the Tax Man". Everyone else should be familiar. I Did WHAT Last Night? "What's going on here?" Isis said as she came into the Raven just after sunset. "I just tripped over two cops laying in the doorway. Someone ought to move them. I think they're a safety hazard." "Are some of them still here?" Alma said as she picked debris off the floor. I thought that Nick and that partner of his were the last stragglers. I'll call the cops and have them picked up right away." "Alma, what happened in here last night?" Isis said as she surveyed the wreckage of the club. Chairs were broken, tables were overturned and leftover food was everywhere. There were balloons dangling from the ceiling, half of the wall of chains was down and the bar was covred in toilet paper. "The party got out of hand. It got way out of hand. That's why we're closed tonight. They totally trashed the place! They drank everything too! I can't even find a bottle of blood for my dinner!" "The COPS drank Janette's blood supply?" "I think Nick did. Of course, the mortals were so wasted last night that they might have had some too." "Did they wake up Janette?" "No. Thank goodness for that. She's still asleep. It wa awful last night, Isis. The mortals wondered into the storerooms and started carrying things out. Briana and Miklos deserted for the quiet of a nice peaceful trunk someplace. I didn't get to go to bed myself until those mortals were about to pass out at and then when I got up I had to throw the stragglers out and clean up this mess. Janette's going to die if she sees this!" "I'm sorry I went to that play last night. Let me get a broom and I'll help you sweep up." "Thanks, Isis. I have got to get this straightened up before... Janette?" "Janette?" Isis said as her friend came in with a dazed expression on her face. "Janette, what happened to your neck? Those look like bite marks!" "Janette," Alma said, "isn't that Nick's shirt you're wearing?" "Excuse me," Janette said as she dropped into the nearest intact chair, "but could someone please tell me what happened to me last night?" *flashback* "Nick, could I ask what you're doing?" Isis said as she saw Nick Knight come into the Raven lagging a large cake. "We're having a bachelor party for Detective Philson." Nick said as he sat the cake on a nearby table. "Janette let us rent out the Raven for it. This is all Schanke's idea. I don't even want to be here. Where's Janette?" "She's upstairs asleep. A couple of days ago, Alma pulled the Folger's switch on her. Well, she pulled the Folger's switch with a vampiric twist. She switched the blood that Janette was drinking for another glass that had coffee added to it. The poor dear hasn't been able to sleep for three days. She finally drifted off a few minutes ago. Try to be quiet so she won't wake up." "We will. Where are you going?" "I found an acting troope that's puting on a twenty-four hour marathon of Greek plays. I can't miss it! I haven't seen some of those plays in three hundred years. Bye, Nick." Isis said as she hurried out. "This is going to be great." Schanke said as he came in with the balloons and streamers. "Just a bunch of guys gathering to say goodbye to one of our own. Hey, barkeep! Bring me a couple of bottles of your best and don't spare any expense. Tonight we are going to say farewell to a fine man, Detective Bob Philson! May he rest in peace!" "Oh, great!" Nick grumbled. "Schanke, calm down, would you? You promised that this would be a quiet, dignified affair!" "And it will be partner. Here. Have a drink." Schanke said as he shoved a bottle at Nick. End Part 1 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "I can't believe this!" Isis said as she inspected Janette's neck. "Look! At least SIX bite marks!" "SIX!" Alma said as she came over to take a look. "It's a wonder that she has any blood left. I'm wasted if a guy bites me twice so I can just imagine what SIX.... He must have done it after I went to bed. I knew I should have stayed up until they actually passed out but I was so tired and I didn't think! How was I to know that something like this would happen?" "It was't your fault, Alma. Janette?" Isis said. "Janette, do you remember seeing Nick last night?" "No. Was he here? I can't remember. Isis, what happened to me last night? I don't feel too good." Janette said as she swayed in her chair. She was even paler than usual and she had a dazed look on her face like she had been hit with a brick. "It's okay, Janette. You're going to be fine. Let's get you into bed." Isis said as she helped her friend to her feet. Janette wobbled unsteadily and looked like she was about to collapse so Alma quickly got on her other side to hold her up. A few minutes later they managed to get Janette into her room and deposited her on her bed. As soon as they let go of her, she fell back limply across the covers. "Isis, look at this." Alma said as she held up a pair of shoes. "He was definately in here last night." "I know." Isis said as she spotted more things. "There's his badge on the pillow and his wallet is wedged beneath the mattress. Is that one of his socks up on the light?" "Yeah." Alma said as she reached up and grabbed the sock. "What happened in here last night?" "That idiot got drunk and.... I can't believe this! I told him she was exhausted! I told him not to disturb her! I didn't think that I had to tell him not to bite her! How could he? Does he think that he's the only vampire with needs? I'm going to kill him! I'm going to get a nice sharp stake and... How could he? I am going to kill him!" "Can I help?" Alma asked. "Sure. It's always good to have help when you're doing something that is going to last a few days. We better go and find some blood for her. If she doesn't eat soon...." "Isis, I don't think there's a single bottle left in the bar. Those cops...." "I'll help you look. There must be something somewhere. Janette, you jus lay still and we'll be back in a minute with some nice blood for you. That ought to make you feel better." Isis said as she tucked the covers around her friend and hurried out with Alma. A few minutes later she came back in with a bottle of blood. "Janette!" she called "I have a bottle of blood for you. It's sort of old but I think it's still.... Alma, get in here!" "What's going on?" Alma said as she came hurrying in. "Where is she?" "I don't know! Nick's stuff is gone though. I'll bet she went down to the station to return all of it to him! Come on! We've got to find her!" "Isis, calm down. She couldn't have made it that far. She was too weak." "I know but I'm afraid that if she collapses.... Who knows what might happen? This isn't the safest neighborhood in the world and.... What was Nick thinking last night?" Isis said as they hurried out of the Raven in search of Janette. End Part 2 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeit@usit.net "Nat, how long do you plan on standing there watching me?" Nick said as he looked up from the report that he was filling out. "This is my first chance to observe a vampire with a hangover." Natalie said with a smile. "What happened last night?" "I had way too much to drink. That's what happened. I knew going to that party was a bad idea but Schanke insisted and you've been telling me for months that I need ti sicialize more. I can't even remember anything that happened after the fifth drink." "Nick, after eight hundred years, don't you know how much liquor you can handle?" "Oh, I know how much I can handle but Schanke kept making toasts and shoving drinks at me. Before I knew it.... I know I made a fool of myself last night!" "What did you do?" "I haven't the vaguest, but I know that it was awful. I would ask Schanke but I'm afraid that he would tell me!" "You could always ask Janette." "Janette slept through the entire thing last night. Frankly, I'm glad se did. If she had seen what a fool I made of myself, I would never hear the end of it." "Well, that's true an.... Nick? Nick, look over.... Oh my!" Natalie said as she pointed toward the door. "What in the world?" Nick said as he turned around and saw Janette come in wearing his shirt and carrying a paper bag. She swayed unsteadily and grabbed a desk for support as Nick and Nat came hurrying over. "Janette, what are you doing here?" Nick asked as he took hold of her arm and guided her over to his desk. "Where are your clothes?" "I don't know. Do you have them? I have your things. Here are your shoes and your wallet and your badge. We could only find one sock. Should we keep looking in my room for the other or do you have it? Oh, this is your shirt, isn't it? Just let me get it off and you can have it back." Janette said as she started to unbutton the shirt. "Janette, no!" Nick cried as he grabbed her hands. "You just keep that on! This is a police station! You can't undress in the middle of a police station! What's wrong with you?" "Look at her neck and you'll see what's wrong!" Natalie cried. "You were with her last night, weren't you? How could you, Nick?" "What?" Nick said as he looked at Natalie and then caught sight of the fang marks on Janette's neck. "Natalie, you don't think I.... That's ridiculous! I would remember if I did that no matter how drunk I got last night!" "If you weren't with her, then why were your things in her room?" "I don't know, but...." "If you weren't with her, then why does she have on your shirt?" "I don't know, Natalie! I can't remember anything that happened last night but I swear to you that I was not with Janette. Something like that is unforgettable." "Hi, Nick." Schanke said as he came hurrying over. "You won't believe what happened when I got home. Myra really let me have it and.... Hi, janette. What happened to your neck? You know, Nick, she looks even more wasted now than she did when you lagged her downstairs last night." "When I lagged.... Schanke, do you remember what happened last night?" Nick asked. "Yeah. We were all kidding you about not being maried and you told us that you could get married any time you wanted. The next thing we knew, you'd lagged Janette in in her pajamas and there was a judge there in his bathrobe and...." "Schanke, what did I do last night?" "You got married, Nick. You and Janette,.... Well, you married her." "I did WHAT last night?" Nick yelled End Part 3 Well, Nick is sure in trouble now. What do you think should happen next? Email me with your suggestions. Who know? I might just use one. Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? *flashback* "Hey, Nick." Schanke said as he looked around for the rest of the cake and finally spotted it on the bar. "So, tell us. Why haven't you ever taken the plunge? Tied on the old ball and chain?" "Don't know." Nick said as he poured himself another glass of 'something.' After ten glasses of the stuff, he couldn't tell if it was blood or wine. "I'll bet he's scared to!" Officer Donnelly yelled. "Yeah! Knight is a chicken!" Detective Philson called. "Hey! I could get married any time that I wanted! I could even get married tonight!" "Who are you going to find to marry you at two in the morning?" Schanke said as he stuffed a piece of cake in his mouth and then begin to lick the frosting off of his fingers. "Janette. She's upstairs asleep. She'd do it. Does anyone know a judge?" "My brother-in-law's a judge." Schanke said. Nick, are you really going to do it?" "Why not? I don't have anything else to do. Might be fun. There's a phone in the....uh...room with the desk. Call your brother-in-law, Schanke. I'll go get Janette." ************ "Janette, wake up." Nick said as he came into her bedroom and poked the sleeping vampire. "Who'sit?" Janette mumbled as she pulled the covers over her head in an attempt to block out the noise. "Go'way." "Janette, wake up." Nick saod as he flipped on the bedside light. "I want to get married. Do you want to?" "Wanna'leep." Janette murmered as she pulled the pillow over her head. "You can sleep after while." he said as he pulled her up. "Come on. I need you to do something for me." "Wanna'leep." she muttered as Nick helped her to her feet and started to lead her out. "You can sleep in a little while, Janette, after you say I do. Come on." ************* "Do you?" Schanke's brother-in-law said as he looked at Janette. He was standing in the middle of the Raven wearing nothing but his bathrobe and underwear. He looked decidedly unhappy about being summoned from his bed at two in the morning by his lunatic brother in law, Don Schanke, to conduct a wedding for a drunken groom and a not even half awake bride. "I'pose. Canna'leepnow?" "Is that a yes?" "Yeah." Nick said. "You can go to sleep in a minute after the judge is through, Janette." "Well, then, by the power invested in me by the province of Ontario, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may.... I would suggest putting the bride to bed. Don, I want to have a word with you!" End Part 4 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "Schanke, tell me that your brother-in-law isn't really a judge!" Nick yelled. "So, you finally remember what hapened? You know, you got me in quiet a bit of trouble with Myra, Nick. Her brother called to complain and, boy, did I get it when I went home! Let me tell you!" "Is he a judge?" "Sure he is. Judge Robert T. Bevington. He presides over small claims court." "A judge?" Nick gasped as the reality of what he had done started to sink in. "He was a real judge? You mean I'm really...." "Nick Knight, how could you?" Natalie yelled. "I thought that we.... How could you?" "Nichola, how could you?" Janette said as she tried to grab him but found that she was too dizzy to move. "You USED me!" "Janette, calm down! Nat, I can explain! Wait a minute! I just remembered! This thing isn't legal! I don't remember signing anything!" "Nick, you've forgotten a lot of what happened last night, haven't you? Schanke said as he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "Take a look at this. You signed it right after Bob finished the ceremony. Janette kept nodding off and you had to keep poking her." "Oh, no!" Nick said as he snatched the paper from Schanke and then threw it down a second later when he smelled an awful odor on it. "Schanke, why does this smell like garlic?" "I forgot what it was and started to wrap my dinner in it. Everything's perfectly legal, Nick. You're really married!" "Schanke, I can't be married! Call your broter-in-law! Tell him to get me out of this!" "Oh, it's too late to weasel out of this one!" Natalie said. "I am never going to forgive you for this, Nick, and if Janette is smart, she won't either! I do not want to see you in my morgue again for anything but police business! Come on, Janette. You just come with me and I'll find you some other clothes and something to eat." "That sounds lovely." Janette said as she started to leave with Natalie. "Nichola, you have not heard the last of this!" "Has the louse done something else? Isis said as she came hurrying in. "Isis, last night that bum, that...." Janette yelled as she lapsed into French. The angrier she got, it seemed, the stronger she got. "He did WHAT? Knight, you are a dead man!" Isis said as she grabbed him by the collar and hurled him across the room into Captain Cohen's door. The door broke when Nick hit and he came to rest on top of the desk. "I'll have to get back to you on that." Captain Cohen said as she hung up the phone. "Young lady, would you care to explain why you just threw one of my detectives through my door?" "He can explain what happened perfectly well by himself!" Isis said as she started to leave with Natalie and Janette. "By the way, Nick. I'm calling LaCroix when we get back to the Raven. I'm sure that he's just going to love hearing about this. See you later if there's anything left to see." End Part 5 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "What happened?" Alma asked as they came out of the police station. "Did you kill him? Why couldn't I watch?" "Because I wanted you to get a taxi for us." Isis explained. "No sign of one?" "Nope. Did you kill him?" "No. There wasn't a stake handy to drive through his no good, rotten heart. I'll kill him the next time I see him." "I'll bring the stake." Natalie said. "Do you ladies need a ride back to the Raven? My car's right over there and...." "That would be great." Isis said "We can plan what to do to Nick." "Right." Janette said as Isis and Natalie helped her into the front seat. Staking is too good for him!" ************* "Whoh!" Natalie said as they came into the Raven and she saw all of the destruction. "Did they do ALL of this at the bachelor party last night." "Oh, yeah." Alma said as she hunted down a bottle of blood and poured some into a glass. "Here, Janette. This ought to make you feel better. Isis, do you or Doctor Lambert want anything?" "I'm fine." Isis said as she headed towards the phone. "Natalie, watch out for that piece of cake." "Thanks for the warning." Natalie said as she looked down. "Janette, can I turn up the lights? I'd like to see if I'm about to step in anything." "You can turn them up if you can find the dimmer switch. I've been looking for it since I moved here and I still haven't found it. Isis, who are you calling?" "LaCroix." Isis said as someone finally answered the phone. Hello. Is this LaCroix? Lucius, don't you dare hang up on me. If you do, I'll have to come over there and.... That's better, dear. I have something important to tell you. Do you know what Nick has done? Last night that idiot attended a human bachelor party and had a little too much to drink. Anyway, the slimeball, in his drunken stupor, decided it would be a great idea to get married, so he.... Stop laughing! I haven't even told you what he did yet! If you don't stop that right now, I'll.... Thank you. You're right, of course. That's what he did and what do you intend to do about it? LaCroix, you brought that jerk across so it's your responsibility to deal with him. I want you to go over there and.... Oh, no. Don't try to weasel out of this. If you don't go over there then.... Do you remember what happened in Florance? Want it to happen again? Thank you, Lucius. I knew you'd see things my way." "Did she just THREATEN...." Natalie said as Isis hung up the phone. "I wouldn't call it a threat." Janette said. "I would call it persuasion that it's in the best interests of your health to do what she wants. It works every time." "Well, I sicced LaCroix on him," Isis said as she joined the others at the bar, "but somehow I don't think that's a big enough punishment. Anyone got any ideas for something else that we can do to him?" "There's his car. Natalie said. "If we did something to that then...." "The car." Janette said. "Natalie, what a wonderful idea! Someone get a piece of paper. We'll need paint and...." "Shaving cream." Alma said. "We have to have shaving cream. We can take some of the balloon and streamers left over from the party, too." "Feathers would be good." Natalie said. "Janette, do you have any old pillows around here?" "I'll find some. We'll need glue, too, and...." "Garlic." Isis said. "Natalie and I can put that in last." "Well, what are we waiting for?" Janette said. "I'll go and find the pillows. Alma, take down the balloons and streamers. Isis, go to the grocery store and get the garlic and shaving cream. Natalie, you can pick up some paint at the all night paint store. They ought to have glue, too." "this is going to be great!" Natalie said as she and Isis hurried out. "Nick is going to pay tonight!" End Part 6 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "I can't believe this!" Nick said as he came out of the police station with Schanke. "I'm really legally married to Janette! What am I going to do?" "Nick, calm down." Schanke said. "Just call the courthouse in the morning and I'm sure that you can get everything straightened ou. Man! My brother-in-law sure was upset about what happened last night! Some of the things he said when I called.... Nick, don't worry. Everything will work out." "Schanke, Janette is going to kill me when she sees me! Natalie is never going to speak to me again! How could I have got in such a mess?" "Nick, calm down. They aren't going to be mad. They're probably both laughing about it even as we speak." "If they're laughing, it's over plans to kill me!" "Nick,.... Uh.... Your.... Nick, look at your car!" "What? Oh, no! MY CAR!" Nick said as he ran across the parking lot to his beloved aqua Caddy. Well, it wasn't exactly aqua anymore. The car had been painted black and feathers were glued all over the body. Streamers and balloons were tied to the antanna and heaped in the back seat. The front seat was covered with at leat ten inches of shaving cream and a pungent odor was radiating from the disaster area. "MY CAR!" Nick moaned. "They got my car!" "Nick, I take back what I said. They are mad at you, buddy. You are in major trouble. Uh, Nick? Nick, stop beating your head against.... You're going to dent the roof, Nick." ************ "What are you doing here?" Nick said as he came into his house covered in shaving cream and spotted LaCroix standing in a corner. "Did Isis call you?" "Of course." LaCroix said as he came towards him and then backed away quickly when he caught a whiff of the garlic. "Nicholas, why do you reek of garlic?" "They got my car, LaCroix! They crept into the parking lot and.... They used spray paint on it! They painted it black! Then they glued feathers all over! There were balloons and streamers everywhere! The front seat was filled with shaving cream! They destroyed my car! I'm never going to be able to fix it after what they did!" "Nicholas," LaCroix said as he started to leave, "when I came over here tonight, I had every intention of punishing you but now I see that I don't need to. Nothing that I could think up would compare to what those women are going to do to you. I just hope that they let me watch." End Part 7 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? Good morning, Natalie." Janette said as Natalie came into the club's main room. "I trust that the couch was comfortable?" "It was fine. Thanks for leting me spend the night. If I had gone home, I would have spent the night thinking about Nick and sharpening stakes for the next time I see him. Oh, boy! This place looks worse now than it did last night! I think that you're going to have to call a cleaning service if you plan to have customers in here any time this year." "I know." Janette said as she picked up the phone. "I just hope that I can find one that can come today. Isis, would you hand me the phone book?" "Sure." Isis said as she looked up from the sketch that she was doing and searched behind the bar. "Here it is." "What's this?" Natalie said as she picked up the sketch book. "It's great!" "Thanks. It's for a friend of my twin sister. He needs a new stain glass window for his church and I offered to design it." "Are you a professional artist?" Natalie said as she handed the pad back. "From time to time." Isis said as Janette hung up the phone and joined them. "Did you find a cleaning service?" "Yes. They'll be here tonight. So, does anyone have any ideas for another punishment for Nichola?" "I'll try to think of something," Natalie said, "but revenge will have to wait until I run home. I've got to feed my cat." "You have a cat?" Isis said. "Why don't you bring him back with you? I like cats." "Would that be okay with you?" Natalie said as she glanced at Janette. "If I leave Sydney alone for too long he tends to start climbing the walls. Literally." "That's fine." Janette said. "Bring some more clothes over, too, and you can stay for a few days. We can plan more awful things to do to Nichola." ************* "I'm back!" Natalie called as she came into the Raven lagging a cat carrier in one hand and a suitcase in the other. "I'll take that." Isis said as she relieved Natalie of the cat carrier and lifted Sydney out. The grey-striped cat, relieved to be free of his confinement, begin to explore the club while Natalie talked to her two new friends. "Did you think of anything else to do to Nick while I was gone?" "Oh, yes!" Janette said with a big smile. "Husbands and wives should live together, right? I'm going to move in with him!" "How would that make him miserable?" Natalie asked. "You haven't seen Janette's closets, have you?" Isis said. "Go and take a look at them. Trust us. If she moves in with all of that stuff, he is going to be miserable." ************* "I have never seen such big closets in my life!" Natalie said as she came out of Janette's bedroom. "My apartment could fit into just one of them! You're right! He's going to be miserable! So, when are you moving in?" "Tonight." Janette said. "I called a bunch of other vampires while you were gone. They'll help lag everything over. We'll start right after Nick leaves for work. Hopefully, we'll be able to move everything over by the time his shift ends. Natalie, you're welcome to stay here as long as you want. I'll tell the other vampires not to bother you and Nick will never think to look for you here. You won't have to talk to him until you want to." "That would be great. When I went home, I had twenty messages from Nick on my machine. He'll probably drop by tonight, too, and I do NOT want to talk to him. Uh, oh. I think I better go and get Sydney. He's trying to climb your wall of chains." End Part 8 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "What in the world?" Nick said as he came into the Raven that night. Boxes were piled everywhere and vampires were busily carrying things out. In the background a human cleaning crew was attempting to work around everything to remove the remains of the bachelor party. "We're closed. Especially to you. Go away!" Alma said as she came in carrying a stack of boxes pilled so high in her arms that she couldn't see over them. "Alma, what is going on in here?" Nick asked as she sat the boxes down and glared at him. "Where's Janette? I need to talk to her." "She isn't here. Go away!" "Alma, I am not going anywhere until I talk to Janette." Nick said. "Now, where is she?" "I'll handle this, Alma." Isis said as she came in carrying two suitcases under each arm. "What do you want, Knight?" "Isis, where is Janette? I need to talk to her. Oh, by the way, I just loved what you two did to my car." he said as he glared at her. "We would have done worse if we had had more time to plan it. Go away, Knight. Janette isn't here right now." "Well, where is she? I need to talk to her about getting out of this mess!" "It isn't any of your business where she is. Janette will talk to you when she's good and ready. Go away, Knight. We're busy right now and you're in the way." "Fine. Before I go, I want to ask you a question. Have you seen Natalie? She isn't at work and she won't return any of my messages." "Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. I can certanly see why she wouldn't. Get out, Knight." Isis said as she grabbed him by the shirt collar and threw him out the door. He landed on the other side of the street and bounced once before coming to rest in a trash can. "Well, the garbage is certainly the right place for him." Isis said as she shut the club door. "Alma, what are you doing with Sydney?" "Briana found him in the basement looking for mice." Alma said as she handed the cat over to Isis. "Did Dr. Lambert leave any food for him?" "No. Why don't you run down to the market and pick something up? You can use this." she said as she handed Alma a roll of bills. "Buy the expensive gormet stuff. Janette called the bank today and had her name put on Nick's bank accounts. Husbands and wives should share their money, don't you think?" End Part 9 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "What the...." Nick cried as he came into his loft shortly before sunrise and tripped over something. He fumbled for the light switch for several minutes, tripping and getting tangled in various objects, before he managed to turn on the lights. "What...." he gasped as he stared at the loft in shock. Empty boxes were stacked haphazardly everywhere and heaps of dresses were piled in a chair. A large trunk was in front of the sofa, spilling out miles of petticoats. The case that used to hold Nick's DiVinci had been moved to a much more prominent place in the living room where guests couldn't help but see it. He checked the case and wasn't really surprised to see that Janette's portrait was back inside. "What happened in here?" Nick said as he went into the kitchen. He ignored the heaps of frilly lingerie on the table and pushed a stack of hat boxes aside to get to the refrigerator. There were more bottles of blood than there had been when he went to work and when he sniffed one, he could tell that it was human. He started to put it back, but then changed his mind and poured himself a glass instead. He figured that he would need it to face what was coming next. "Hello, Nichola." Janette said as she came breezily into the kitchen and kissed him. "Getting yourself a snack, dearest? Would you hand me the bottle, love? I need something, too, after moving all of these things." "Janette, what are you doing here?" Nick said as he handed her the bottle and she poured herself a drink. "What is all of this stuff?" "Nichola, husbands and wives should live together, shouldn't they? I'm moving in with you." "What? Janette, you can't live here!" "Of course I can, dearest. You're my husband. Where else would I live but with you?" "Janette,...." "We can talk about it in the morning." she said as she kissed him again. "I'm so tired right now that I can't think straight. I'm going up to bed. Coming, darling?" "I will just sleep on the couch." Nick said as he sat down and then quickly jumped back up again. "What did I...." "So that's where they put the needlework." Janette said as she headed upstairs. "Don't mess it up. I've been working on it for over two hundred years and I'm sure that I'll get around to finishing it one of these days. Good night, darling. Feel free to come upstairs if you change your mind about the couch. After all, we're married now. Husbands and wives should share the same bed." End Part 10 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "Hi, Isis. What's Sydney eating?" Natalie said as she came into the club. Isis was perched on a bar stool working on a sketch while Sydney ate from one of Janette's best wine glasses. "He was hungry so I had Alma run to the market to get him something. She got the gormet stuff that costs five bucks a can. I think that your cat is going to be spoiled by the time that you leave. So, did Janette get moved into Nick's before he got back? He was over here looking for her earlier." "She was busily arranging things and making plans to make Nick miserable when I left. What's this?" Natalie said as she picked up the sketch pad. "It looks like...." "That's Nick in 1968. He drank a bottle of blood from a hippy and was as high as a kite from the PCP for three days. This is what he looked like after LaCroix and Janette cornered him and lugged him home. I remember every detail of it. Photographic memory is such a nice thing to have. I thought that I might take this over to the police station tomorrow so that all of Nick's friends can see it." "What a NICE idea." Natalie said with a smile. "What happened to his hair?" "He shaved it all off. He got a peace sign tatooed on his face, too. It took Janette two days to figure out how to get the ridiculous thing off after they found him. I don't know what she did, but he screamed for a week afterwards. Would you like a copy?" "Sure. I have a perfect place for it in my living room. Who's this?" Natalie said as she flipped throught the pad. "That's Jean-Philippe Descartes. He's a friend of mine. Handsome, isn't he?" "Oh, yes. Is he your boyfriend?" "No. He's just a good friend. He's a wildlife photographer. I've been to a couple of shoots with him. He does beautiful work. Are you interested in him?" "If he isn't taken, I am. So, tell me about him." "Well, he's extremely nice. Courtious. Well bred. Great sense of humor. A real gentleman. Nothing like Nick." "Wonderful. Do you have his number?" "I'll call him right now." Isis said as she picked up the phone. End Part 11 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "Where...." Nick muttered as he awoke. At first, he couldn't remember where he was but after a minute he realized that he was in his living room. He had just started to recall the circumstances that led to his spending the night on the couch when Janette came hurrying in in a filmy black nightgown carrying a tray with a glass of blood on it. "Good evening, dear." she said as she sat they tray down in front of him and kissed him. "Did you sleep well? I brought you something to eat." "Janette, what are you still doing here? What time is it? Oh, great! I'm supposed to be at work in an hour! I've got to take my shower!" he said as he darted into the bathroom. "Do you need any help in there?" Janette said as she came into the bathroom a few minutes later. "I could wash your back for you." "Janette!" Nick cried as he grabbed a towel and scrambled out of the shower. "Stop this right now! We are not married!" "Of course we are, dear." she said as he started to get dressed. "Be sure to eat before you leave. You shouldn't go to work on an empty stomach. People would think that I wasn't taking care of you." ************ "It was awful, Schanke." Nick said as he told his partner what had happened. "She's acting like we're really married! She moved in with me! I had to sleep on the couch! She won't leave! This evening, she served me my meal on a tray! She forced me to swllow every little drop! She tried to get in the shower with me! She wanted to help me wash! She kissed me passionately for twenty minutes when I was ready to leave and promised to wait up for me! It was horrible!" "If that's your definition of horrible, I would love to see what you think is wonderful. You're lucky, Nick. The only thing that Myra ever tells me when I leave is to be quiet when I come in. Nick, look over there. Your wife just came in." "Oh, no!" Nick moaned as Janette came hurrying over. "Hello, darling." she said as she kissed him. "After you left, I noticed that you forgot your jacket so I thought that I would run it over. It can get nippy at night after all and I wouldn't want you to get a chill, dearest." End Part 12 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "So, Isis, tell me more about Jean-Philippe." Natalie said. "What's he like?" "He's the greatest. You'll really like him, Natalie. He's nothing like Nick." "He isn't a mass murderer or anything is he? The last blind date I went on turned out to be with one so....." "He's definitely not a mass murderer. I feed any of them that I happen to go out with to Janette. It saves the tax payers the expense of a trial. I try to be helpful when I can. Hi, Janette." she called as her friend came hurrying into the club carrying at least twelve shopping bags. "Hello, ladies." Janette said as she sat down on a bar stool and poured herself a drink. "Such a nice night, isn't it? I just visited the police station to take my loving 'husband' his jacket and then I did a litle shopping." "You call this LITTLE?" Natalie said as she lifted a sleek black dress from the bag and then dropped it back in when she caught sight if the price tag. "This thing costs more than my car!" Maybe I did more than a little shopping." Janette admitted. "There are more things out in the car too. It's possible that.... Oh, well. It was only a hundred thousand. Nichola wasn't using that money anyway." "You spent how much of Nick's money?" Natalie said. "Just a hundred thousand. I'll spent some more tomorrow when the decorators come. I'm having the loft redone. That will be at least five hundred thousand." "Janette, how can you spend that much money?" Natalie said. "Nick has a few billion in various banks. I just called and...." "Wait a minute. A few BILLION?" "I forget exactly haw many. What's wrong?" "That JERK! He as a few billion in the bank and he gave me a six fifty bottle of perfume for my birthday! The nerve!" "That's Nick for you." Isis said. "Jean-Philippe is much more thoughtful. Very considerate about gifts. You're really going to like him." "Jean-Philippe?" Janette said. "Natalie, are you going out with him?" "Isis arranged a date for us when he comes to town next week. What do you know about him, Janette?" "I know that if he wasn't mortal, I would love to go out with him myself. You'll love him, Natalie. He's nothing like Nick. So, what are you going to wear for your date?" "I don't know. Maybe what I wore for Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. You know, I haven't felt right ever since then." "If you had a visit from Nick that day, he's probably the reason. You would think that after eight hundred years, he would know how to treat ladies, but.... Now, Natalie, you're going to need something new for this. I know a store that....." "Janette, I couldn't afford to shop in a store that you visit." "You can this time. It's my treat. I think I better arrange for a visit to my hair dresser as well." "Janette, I couldn't accept a gift like that!" "Why not?" Isis said. "It's only Nick's money after all. Natalie, after some of the things that he's done to you two, don't you think that you should be able to have a little fun?" "Well, when you put it that way.... Janette, what's the name of that store that you want me to go to?" "I'll take you myself tomorrow." Janette said as she gathered up her packages and started to leave. "Right now I've got to get home. After all, a dutiful wife should be waiting for her husband when he gets home from a hard night's work. Au revoir. end Part 13 chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net I Did WHAT Last Night? "What the...." Nick cried as he steped into the loft and was grabbed in a big hug from behind. "Janette, what are you doing? Why are you still here?" "Where else would I be, darling?" she said as she kissed him and pressed a glass of blood into his hand. "I told you that I would wait up for you. Now you can sit down and tell me all about your hard night at work." "You want to know about my night?" Nick cried. "Well, I'll tell you about my night! I was praying that someone would be murdered before my shift was over just so I could get out of the building! I even considered calling LaCroix and begging him to go out for a midnight snack! Everyone thought that it was just so funny that you came in and..... Janette, what are you up to?" "I'm not up to anything, dear." She said as she pulled him onto the couch and then settled down in his lap. "I'm just trying to be a good wife like I should be." "Janette!" Nick cried as he pushed her off of him and stood up. "We are not married! You are most definately not my wife! We just made a little mistake. That's all." "No we didn't. I like being married, Nichola. I want to stay married." "What? No! Janette, we are NOT going to stay married! Absolutely NOT! Do you understand that? Janette, stop kissing me! Let me go, Janette!" "Nichola, you're my husband." said as she kissed him harder and tried to lead him back to the couch. "I just want to show you how much I love you. There's nothing wrong with that." "Janette, have you heard anything that I've been saying? We are NOT married! I made a mistake, Janette! I was drunk! Do you understand that? If I had known what I was doing the whole fiasco would never have happened! Now what we need to do is just get out of this mess as quickly and quietly as we can." "I don't want to get out of it." Janette said as she turned and started upstairs. "I like being married. Are you coming to bed?" "I'll sleep down here." he said as he stomped over to the couch. "Janette, what are all of these bags?" "I did a little shopping, dear." "A little? Nick said as he pulled a dress out of the bag and looked at the price tag. "Janette, this costs....." "You want your wife to be well-dressed, don't you? It isn't as if you don't have the money, darling." "Janette, you mean to tell me that you used my money to finance this shopping spree? How did you get your hands on it?" "I called the bank and told them that I was your wife. They were very nice about putting my name on your accounts. Good night, dear." she said as she disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Nick to contiplate the mess that he was in this time. End Part 14 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net or cwkeith@cncacc.cn.edu I Did WHAT Last Night? "Perfect." Isis said as she slipped the sketch of Nick into the frame and adjusted it. "Now where did that bow go?" "Are you running that over to the station today?" Natalie said as she came in in her robe and slippers. "I am if I can find the bow for it." she said as she started to look beneath the bar. "There it is. Sydney, be a nice cat and hand over that bow. I need it to upset Nick. Good kitty cat." "He loves to play with string." Natalie said as Isis finally manged to persuade the cat to let go of the bow. "Is is okay if I turn on the radio? I'd like to listen to something besides the vampires' doom and gloom music for a change." "Be my guest." Isis said as she arranged the bow on the frame. "Perfect. I think that I'll stop somewhere on the way over and pick up something for that nice Detective Schanke to eat. He looks like the type that enjoys food. I'll bet that he would just love something that was loaded down with garlic." "Most definately." Natalie said as she finally found a suitable station. "Is this okay with you?" "Fine. Wait a minute. It's more than fine. Natalie, what's the name of that song?" "I think it's called 'Does He Love You?' It's by some American singer named Reba McEntire. Why do you want to know?" "Listen to it. Just listen to it and you'll figure it out. I've got to call LaCroix!" she said as she snatched the phone up and started to dial. "Hello. Lucius. It's Isis. Did I wake you? Don't growl at me! It will be sunset soon anyway. You needed to get up. Lucius, I need you to do something for me. I need you to play a song called 'Does He Love You?' all night tonight on your radio program. I also need you to find two tiny radio recievers for me. What do I need them for? Well, I have some very nasty plans for Nick. Yes, that's exacly what I'm thinking of. Of course I know that it will drive him crazy. Do you have some objection? I didn't think that you would. I'll be over afterwhile to pick them up. Thank you, Lucius." "Isis, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" "I figure a night of listening to that song played over and over at frequencies that can only be dectected by vampires should drive Nick up the walls. Don't you agree?" "Most certainly. You better get going if you want to get everything done by sundown." "I know." Isis said as she hurried out the door. "If Janette comes to take you shopping before I get back, tell her that I'll meet you two at the store. Se you later." ********* "Part one of my plan is accomplished." Isis thought as she hurried into the police station a little while later. "I hid the reciever on Nick's car where he will never find it. Now to take care of part two." "Hi, Isis." Schanke said as he came hurrying over to her. "If you're looking for Nick, he's not here yet. What's that you have there?" "Just a little something to beautify the station a little. I thought that you might hang it on a wall somewhere where everyone can see it. I have some souvlaki here too. I thought that you might like to have it." "That would be great!" Schanke said as he took the box from her and started to eagerly dig in. "Do you want some?" "No thank you. I have to be running along now. Tell Nick that I stopped by and be sure to hang that sketch." *********** "What's wrong, partner?" Schanke said as Nick came storming into the police station. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! Some joker hid a radio reciever somewhere on my car and I couldn't find the thing. I had to drive the entire way over being blasted by 'Does He Love You?' It was a nightmare and...... Where did that thing come from?" he said as he jabbed a finger at the sketch that Isis had dropped off earlier that was now hanging from one of the walls. "Isis dropped it off a little while ago. It's pretty good." "I am going to kill her! I am going to...... Oh, no! The music! It's starting again! She must have a reciever on the frame somewhere." He said as he jerked the sketch from the wall and started to search the frame. "It's not there! Where could it..... I've got to find it!" "What is going on out here?" Captain Cohen said as she heard several loud crashes and stepped out of her office to find Nick running frantically around the room tipping over desks and filing cabinets in the search for the reciever. "Detective Knight, what do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking for a radio reciever." Nick said as he started to dig through things. "Isis hid it in here somewhere as part of a plot to drive me crazy!" "I see. Why don't you come into my office for a few minutes, Detective and you can tell me all about this radio reciever." ******** "What happened?" Schanke said as Nick came out of the office nearly an hour later. "Did she suspend you?" "No, she didn't. She ordered me to see Dr. Stevens, the departmental psychiatrist. That's a million times worse. I've got to put an end to this, Schanke." he said as he picked up the phone and started to dial. "I'm going to call Isis's twin Talia. She's a nice polite girl. She's practically a nun. She'll make them drop this little game they're playing. Now how do I make a call to Bombey?" "Nearly five hours later, Nick's shift was about to end when he finally got Talia on the phone. "Hello, Talia. This is Nick Knight. Do you remember me? What? Talia, stop yelling at me! Whatever your sister told you isn't true! Talia, I need your help! Talia, will you stop yelling and.....Talia!" he cried as the phone was slammed down on the other end. "What did she say?" Schanke asked. "Is she going to help you?" "What did you say?" Nick yelled. "Speak up a little, Schanke. I think that she just ruptured my eardrum!" End Part 15 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net or cwkeith@cncacc.cn.edu I Did WHAT Last Night? "I can't believe what you did to Nick's loft!" Natalie called from the bathroom. "How did you get it done so fast?" "Alma works for a decorating company in her spare time." Janette said as she dug through a trunk on the floor. "They're used to doing rush jobs for me. Now where did I put those earrings?" "They certainly did a rush job this time. I would never have thought that you would like pink though." "I don't like it." Janette said as she pushed the trunk away and stood up. "Nick hates it even more than I do, though. I can stand the thought of having the entire loft painted pink, just knowing how unhappy it will make him. Maybe I left the earrings upstairs." "Which pair are you looking for?" Isis said as she hopped onto a giant green mushroom that had been arranged where Nick's couch used to be. "I love these mushrooms by the way. Where did Alma get the idea for it?" "Alice in Wonderland. Isis, do you know where I put my pair of sapphire earrings? You remember them. The ones that Amanda....." "Try the brown box with the silver clasp and the flowers on the cover." Isis called up the stairs. "Has the statute of limitations ran out on the earrings yet?" "I would hope so. After all, it's been nearly two hundred years since she made of with them. Ah ha! Here they are." Janette cried as she finally found the earrings and came hurrying back downstairs just as Nick came in. "Janette, what is going on here?" he cried. "What have you done to my home?" "I just did a little redecorating." She said as she kissed him. "I hope that you like it." "What happened to my furniture? What are these things?" He said as he jabbed a finger at the mushroom that Isis was sitting on. "I gave all of that old stuff to the Salvation Army. It isn't as if you need it anymore." "You did what? Janette, how could you?" "Well, we didn't have room for all of your old stuff and these new things that I bought. Something had to go." "My furniture. You got rid of my...... I need a drink." Nick moaned as he went into the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator. "What the...... Janette, there's a head in the refrigerator!" "I know, dear." she said as he came running out. "The theme for the kitchen is The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. There has to be a head in there somewhere, ne ce pas?" "I can't believe this." Nick said as he came back into the kitchen with a bottle of blood. He figured that the way his night was going he was going to need the whole thing. "Janette, could I just ask how you could do this? You painted the entire building pink! You can see it on the other side of town! You got rid of all of my furniture and replaced it with mushrooms! There is a head in my refrigerator! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" "I wanted to change things a little, dear." she said as she kissed him. "Why don't you come upstairs with me and take a look at the bedroom. It's theme is A Thousand and One Arabian Nights. I think that you'll really like it. I got rid of the bed and......" "You got rid of my bed? Where am I supposed to sleep?" "There are piles of pillows on the floor. You're supposed to sleep on them. It's very good for your back." Isis said with a smile. "Isis." Nick said as he spun around and glared at her. "I want to talk to you! I just loved coming into work today and seeing that embarrassing picture of me in the Sixties hanging on the wall! I just loved the music that you arranged for me to hear ALL night too! I tore the department apart looking for the transmitter! Now Captain Cohen is making me go to see a psychiatrist! I hope that you're happy! Where did you hide the blasted receiver, anyway?" "In the souvlaki that I took your partner for his dinner. He gobbled the entire thing right up." "You fed the receiver to Schanke? That means that I'm going to have to listen to that song over and over until..... How could you, Isis?" "So, how do I look?" Natalie said as she came out of the bathroom in a light blue dress with lace fringes. The dress clung to her hips and swirled around her legs to make them appear even more shapely than they actually were. "Natalie?" Nick said as he looked at her. "What are you doing here?" " It's perfect!" Janette said as she came hurrying over and turned her around so that she could inspect the dress from all angles. "Now we just need to add a little jewelry and arrange your hair and we'll be through." "I wonder if Amanda has a necklace to match the earrings?" Isis said as she came over and begin to inspect Natalie as well. "I suppose we could call and ask her." Janette said as she lifted Natalie's hair and held it on top of her head. "Do you think that her hair would look better up or down?" "Up, most definitely," Isis said, "with curls loose in the back and on the sides of her face. That's the way that my sister always does hers and they have the same type of face, don't you think?" "Definitely. I'll get some hairpins and we can see how it will look." Janette said as she went into the bathroom and came out a minute later with a cosmetics bag. "How is your sister anyway?" "I can tell you how she is!" Nick said. "She was most certainly fine thirty minutes ago when she bawled me out after keeping me on hold for five hours!" "She bawled you out?" Isis said. "Isn't that nice? I always knew that she had it in her. What did she say?" "Something unspeakable in Hindu! Natalie, what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you to explain about what happened the other night. It was all just a mistake, Natalie. I never meant to marry Janette. Can you forgive me?" "It's okay, Nick." she said as Janette finished with her hair and she hurried over to the mirror to inspect it. "Everything worked out for the best anyway. You have Janette now and I have a date with the nicest man next week. His name's Jean-Philippe Descartes. I'm really looking forward to it. It was all for the best that things happened the way they did, it seems. I love this hairstyle, Janette." "You're going out with WHO? Natalie, you can't do that! What about me?" "What about you, Nick? You're a married man now. You have Janette and I have a date with one of the most charming men in Canada. Everything worked out for the best, didn't it? I'll see you later, Janette." she said as she hurried out the door with Isis, leaving Nick standing there in shock. End Part 16 Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net or cwkeith@cncacc.cn.edu Here is the last part of my story, 'I Did WHAT Last Night?' I hope that all of you have enjoyed it. Please email me with any comments. I Did WHAT Last Night? "Can you believe that jerk?" Natalie said the next afternoon as she sat in the Raven dangling a sting for Sydney. "He still thinks that he can have his cake and eat it too. The nerve of him! Hasn't he learned anything from what we've done to him?" "Apparently not. Here. Have an orange." Isis said as she shoved a bowl of the fruits across the table. "Maybe we should do something else to him." "More shopping?" Natalie suggested. "I love that shop that Janette took us to yesterday. We could go in there and....." "That won't really bother him until he gets his credit card bill." Isis said. "I could always do another portrait but, coming so soon after the one yesterday, it would lose a lot of its shock value." "What are you talking about?" Alma said as she came in. "By the way, how did Nick like the little redesign that I came up with for his loft?" "We're planning what else we can do to Nick," Isis said, "but we can't seem to think of anything awful enough." "Why don't you jab him with toothpicks?" Alma suggested. "Toothpicks?" Isis asked. "Sure. It's what I do to keep my dates under control sometimes. A few toothpicks in the right place and the jerk will never step out of line again." "Toothpicks." Natalie said. "What a lovely idea. Thank you, Alma. Isis, does Janette have any in the bar." "There's a case in the back room. I'll go and get them. I hope that Nick hasn't left for work yet." Isis said as she hurried out. *********** "Hi, partner." Schanke said as Nick came hobbling into the police station. "Where have you been? You're two hours late for your shift." "Where have I been? I'll tell you where I've been! I just spent the last two hours at the emergency room having a thousand toothpicks that somehow found their way into the driver's seat of my car extracted! That's where I have been, Schanke!" "Ouch! Sounds painful!" "Trust me. It was. Of course last night was even more painful. I finally saw Natalie and she told me that she's seeing another guy!" "Nick, you're married now." Schanke reminded him. "Surely you didn't expect her to keep seeing you." "My getting married was an accident, Schanke," Nick said, "and now all three of those women are out to get me for it. They're all in some sort of plot against me." "Nick, don't you think that you're being sort of paranoid? A plot?" "You haven't seen some of the things they've done." Nick said as the phone rang. He picked it up and listened in shock for several minutes before finally hanging up. "Who was that?" Schanke asked as Nick put his head down on the desk and started to moan. "Mother Theresa." Nick whimpered. "She called all the way from India to tell me what a jerk I am. They're getting nuns into the act now, Schanke!" "Mother Theresa? Nick, are you trying to tell me that you got a call from Mother...... Wait right there for just a minute, Nick. I'll be right back. I just have to tell Captain Cohen something." A few minutes later Captain Cohen came hurrying over with Schanke right behind her. "Detective Knight, what is going on here?" she said. "You partner says that you have a problem." "Captain Cohen, you've got to help me!" Nick cried. "They're out to get me! Janette and Natalie and Isis are involved in some sort of plot to drive me out of my mind! They trashed my car! They redecorated my house with mushrooms and heads! They rigged music to play so that only I could hear it. They put toothpicks in my seat! Just now they had Mother Theresa call to tell me that I'm a jerk! You've got to help me, Captain. I can't take it anymore!" "Of course, I'll help you." Captain Cohen said. "Let me just make one phone call and you won't have to deal with any of those women for a very long time." *********** "What's going on, Schanke?" Natalie said as she, Janette and Isis came into the police station just as Nick was being led out by men in white jackets. "Nick cracked up tonight." Schanke said. "He started ranting and raving about how all of you ladies were plotting against him and trying to drive him crazy. Captain Cohen's arranged for him to get a nice long rest in the funny farm." "Now I wonder why he would think that we were plotting against him?" Janette said. "After all, it isn't as if the wedding was legal. No one signed the license as witnesses after all. Now if we were really married, it would be a different story but....." "You mean it wasn't legal? Schanke said. "Then why have you been acting so lovey-dovey for the past few days." "I was just being friendly to Nichola. I certainly hope that he didn't think differently." That was when Nick started screaming. ************ "A toast." Natalie said as she poured glasses of wine for herself and Isis and a glass of blood for Janette. "To Nick. May he learn the error of his ways during his stay in the mental home." "Here, here." Janette said as she sipped her drink. "Natalie, do you have a safety deposit box?" "Yes. Why?" "Could I ask you to guard this for me?" she said as she passed a piece of paper down the bar to her. "Safety deposit boxes are one thing that vampires can't have. Banks keep such terrible hours." "The marriage certificate?" Natalie said as she looked at it. "Why do you..... Wait a minute! Janette, witnesses have signed this thing! I know both of these officers! This is perfectly legal! Why did you say that...." "Let's just consider it insurance for the next time that Nichola decides to pull a stunt like this." Janette said with a smile. "What a lovely idea." Natalie said. "I'll drop it by the bank tomorrow when I go to get my grandmother's necklace out of my box for my date with Jean-Philippe. Uh, Isis, did Nick really get a call from Mother Theresa or did you....." "I guess it was really her." Isis said. "She knows my sister. Talia probably told on him. If my sister wanted, she could have the Pope call to complain about Nick." "Why don't we save that for the next time." Janette said. "That is, if we ever decide to get Nichola out of the funny farm." Chanda Keith Ravenette ckeith@usit.net or cwkeith@cncacc.cn.edu