Date: Tue, 27 Jul 1999 17:38:05 +0900 From: Cousin Raven Subject: If I close my eyes forever (1/2) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU All characters herein were borrowed, abused, and put back. Characters are owned and copyrighted by Sony Pictures/Tristar Corp and were created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen. I'm just borrowing them for awhile, I promise to put them back in relatively good condition. No copyright infringement is intended. Any similarity to any real persons, living, dead or undead, or any other fan fiction, is purely coincidental. Also, nothing in this story is intended to offend anyone. If I screw something up, please let me know. Permission to archive by Mel on fkfanfic given. *Warning* -- Last Knight story ahead. Get your hankies. =================== If I Close My Eyes Forever =================== By Cousin Raven (raven@naturesong.com) "Damn you, Nicholas!" LaCroix said as he drove the stake through his son's heart. Nick shuttered as it pierced his heart, and drove through Natalie as well. With his last bit of strength, Nick touched Natalie's face and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Natalie." Then he became limp. LaCroix screamed in rage. He hadn't meant to kill him, he hadn't meant to end it all. He tore the stake out and rushed to Nicholas' side. The blood poured from the gaping wound, still LaCroix tried to rouse his son. "Nicholas, Nicholas, " sterner now, "Nicholas, now is not the time for games. Nicholas, please?" But Nick stayed dead. All the rousing in the world would not bring him back. Blood tears formed at the corners of LaCroix's eyes. His only son was dead, and he had killed him. The guilt bore down upon him, and he flew from that horrid place, away from the pain and memories. ------------------------------ If I close my eyes forever Will it all remain unchanged If I close my eyes forever Will it all remain the same... ------------------------------ He originally planned to bring his few possessions with him, but he ignored them. He had to get away. It was torture just being here. All his children were dead or gone from him. He was living his worst nightmare, he was alone. The sun was coming up and he took shelter in a graveyard tomb. It had been centuries since he'd had to hide in a cemetery, but, thankfully, things had changed since the last time he had to do it. The stench of bodies did not float above the ground, the place was neat and tidy. He chose a small tomb and pried the lock off. He closed the door and noticed the only spot of light came from a small window in the door. He took a black handkerchief from his pocket and stuffed it into the hole. The tomb fell into complete blackness. LaCroix went to the far wall and went to sit down, but succeeded in only falling. The momentary pain washed over him and away, but he ignored it completely. The blood tears released then, and his face became a mask of pain. If anyone had dared to hurt Nicholas, he would've killed them. No questions, no explanations, just dead. Now, the anger he reserved for those who hurt Nicholas was turned within. How could he have hurt the one person he loved so much, the one who had been with him, had fed with him, had fought with him? How could he succumb to Nicholas' foolish games and lash out? He held his face in his hands, and felt the blood tears cover them. When he looked at his hands, the blood looked so fresh, so pure, like the blood that had poured from Nicholas. He saw it in his mind over and over again, each time he did he imagined a different way he could've handled it, a different thing he could've said. The day passed slowly, LaCroix finally fell into an exhausted slumber. The blood on his face congealed and crusted in his short hair, and in his eyes. Occasionally, he would whimper or mew and fresh blood would rise to coat the drying. Just as the sun finally set, LaCroix awoke slowly. He pried the crusted blood off his eyelids and jumped as a bright light assaulted him. He cowered down, afraid the sun had not yet set, then he straightened as he realized there was no pain. He blinked and looked up slowly, his ice blue eyes clouded with self-hate and guilt. Standing in front of him was a glorious crusader, Nicholas, as he was as a mortal. His armor shined with an unnatural sheen, his sword sharp and drawn, but his face expressed love. Everything glowed an unearthly blue and seemed to spotlight LaCroix himself. "No," LaCroix shouted, "I didn't want it to happen Nicholas, I didn't mean for you to die, please forgive me." Nicholas smiled. "Mon pere...You did nothing requiring forgiveness. You must forgive yourself, and that is something I cannot do. Rest assured, there is a place for you here...when you're ready." Then the light and Nicholas faded. "No!" LaCroix said again. He reached for Nicholas where he once stood and said in a voice barely a whisper, "Come back..." And fresh blood tears coursed down his cheeks. ----------------------- Sometimes It's hard to hold on So hard to hold on to my dreams It isn't always what is seems When you're face to face with me ------------------------------ (End Part 1) (Disclaimers in Part 1) Darkness descended upon Toronto, and LaCroix tore out of the tomb, eager to be away from this horrid city, away from the pain and memories that plagued him. He turned south and flew most of the night. His tears flowed freely, whipped away by the wind. The pain in his heart grew as each tear erupted. His heart ached for his son. So many children, so many loves, why did this one hurt so much? The specter he dismissed as merely a creation of his guilt-ridden mind. Toledo was quite this early in the morning. Definitely a city with no night life. He sighed. He couldn't stay here long, but maybe just for the night. The sky was cloudless, the stars shown down brightly. A typical night. He could almost believe it had been a dream, a fantasy brought on by Nicholas' mortal longings...but the more he considered it, the more he was certain it was not a dream. He had killed Nicholas. He walked down the lonely streets. The hour was late, and he needed to find shelter soon. He slipped into a nearby alley and walked quickly toward the end. He intended to fly up and scope out a good place to rest for the day. He got to the end of the alley and looked up. His mind was muddled with feelings of guilt and hunger. Through the haze, he heard a single small heartbeat nearby. He looked around and saw a child. From the look of her, she was homeless and alone. He brushed her brown hair from her face. She stirred a bit, then went back to sleep. He looked her over and realized she was allot older than he'd first thought. She was tall, about 6 feet, and starved. Dirt covered almost every inch of her that he could see. If he cleaned her up she might be quite beautiful. He touched her face again, and this time her eyes opened wide. "Please, leave me alone...I don't want to...please..." she wimpered. LaCroix was appalled. She thought he was going to rape her. "Shhhh..." he said, "I'm not going to hurt you..." Much, his mind supplied. She did not move. He smiled, "Trust me. I can help you." This girl, tough as nails, said, "Prove it." LaCroix smiled and his eyes goldened. His fangs lengthened, and she shrieked, covering her own mouth with her hands. She scrunched up her eyes and tilted her head back. "Okay...but..." she said, "Be...gentle..." LaCroix attacked, sinking his fangs deep into her. She tried to pull back from the fierce attack, but he held her tight. Finally, weakened, she went limp. LaCroix picked her up and flew to the nearest cemetery, St. Vincent. ------------------------- You're like a dagger And stick me in the heart And taste the blood from my blade And when we sleep, would you shelter me In your warm and darkened grave ------------------------------- This tomb was beautiful, and airtight. No light seeped in from the sun, and LaCroix almost felt at peace. He stared at the girl, whose name he had yet to learn, and remembered all the wonderful times with Nicholas. The fights, the blood. All over now. His tears started again, and he let them fall with abandon, covering his face, making him seem like a clown in some grotesque circus. "Oh my God, are you all right?" Her voice squeaked when she was scared. He looked up and saw her, concern filling her eyes. She was an early riser. This was good. "My...my son died recently. It was...it was an accident. I miss him more than words can say." The girl smiled weakly. "So, am I now your daughter?" He smiled back. "Yes, you are. And your name is...?" "Megan." "Well, Megan, we've got a lot to do as soon as the sun goes down...get you dinner, and get out of town. Where would you like to go? The world is yours." ------------------------------- I know I've been so hard to you I know I've told you lies If I could have just one more wish I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes --------------------------------- You tell me. ---------------------------------- "Close my eyes forever" by Lita Ford and Ozzy Osborne ---------------------------------- ======================= All my fan fiction is archived at my site: http://www.naturesong.com/raven ======================== Cousin Raven (raven@naturesong.com) http://www.naturesong.com Fight Monotony -- Call in the enforcers!