Immortal Past
A Forever Knight Story by Christine Hantzopulos Hunt
erika1228@aol.com  

	*How long had they waited? How long had they *wanted*, desired, yet 
dared not hope for what was finally theirs tonight? Natalie trembled at his touch, 
the hands so warm now, so *human*, as he explored her with a wonder that he 
could do so without the beast intruding upon them. Passionate but gentle, erotic 
but loving, they held each other as if they would never let go.
	Never....
	And as they fell asleep in each other's arms, there were tears in her eyes. 
She had never been so happy, and never could be again. 	Never....*


	She awoke with a start, almost expecting to feel the warmth of his 
naked skin against hers, wanting him just as much as she had in the dream, her 
body physically aching for him, her heart crying out for him.
	Why now? Why, after all this time?
	She lay awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to focus on the here and 
now, the life that she'd struggled so hard to make for herself. She'd been happy. 
She *was* happy. And everything was as it should be.	
	As if on cue, her husband turned over, awake, throwing his arm gently 
over her to pull her closer. She snuggled next to him, and smiled. Even in the 
darkness of the early dawn, his blue eyes shone as he looked at her.
	"Are you okay?" he asked with concern.
	She smiled, running a hand through his tousled blond hair. "I'm fine. I 
just can't sleep."
	"Me neither," he replied. "But it's still too early to get out of bed."
	She smiled, catching his meaning, reaching up to kiss him tenderly.
	Later, she lay in his arms, safe, fulfilled, as the birds outside the 
window heralded in a new day. He'd found her so anxious for him, so 
passionate, so aroused....
	...and yet it filled her with guilt to know that she'd made love to him 
this morning with a passion that belonged to a specter of her past. A past she'd 
thought she'd escaped so long ago....
	"I love you, Natalie," he whispered in her ear.
	"I love you too, Steven," she said softly. And she meant it. She really 
did.
	But as he left her to take a shower, the tears still found their way to her 
eyes. And the dull ache in the pit of her stomach was back. When would she be 
free of it?
	"Never," she whispered.


	The morning sun seemed to send the shadows of her past cowering into 
the recesses of her mind. And as Steven came up behind her as she made 
breakfast, kissing her on the cheek, and whispering, "Happy Birthday, Hon," she 
knew. Of course! Didn't she always remember on this day? Didn't her thoughts 
always find their way back to that night so long ago, on her twenty-eighth 
birthday, when Nick had sat up on her gurney at the morgue....How long ago it 
seemed...seventeen years. It *was* long ago. But he had inexorably changed the 
course of her life. And maybe that was why every year, especially on this day, she 
thought of him....
	"I'll be home by six," Steven was saying, snapping her attention gladly 
back to the present. "Remember, we're trying that new restaurant downtown. 
And I thought then we could go to a movie..."
	"Which movie, Dad?" their daughter asked from the breakfast table.
	"Oh, I think Mom should decide," he said, sitting beside the twelve-year 
old. Her long blond hair and blue eyes were so much like Steven's, and Natalie 
couldn't help but smile at the adoration in her husband's eyes as he looked at 
her.
	"What do *you* want to see?" Natalie offered as she set plates of 
pancakes in front of them. She took her own seat beside her son, placing the dish 
and fork in front of the four-year old, watching out of the corner of her eye as he 
reached to feed himself. "Wait, let Mommy cut them up for you, Richie," she 
told him as she used the fork to cut the hotcakes into bite sized pieces.
	"Well, if you're leaving it up to me, I want to see Memnoc the Devil."
	Natalie froze, and looked up at her. Steven was simply regarding his 
daughter quizzically.
	"It's the latest Anne Rice vampire movie," she explained, as if she 
thought the adults were clueless. "You know, Daddy, we saw the other four on 
tape. Interview, LeStat, Queen of the Damned--"
	"No," Natalie cut her off suddenly and unequivocally, then, catching 
herself, said, "We're taking your brother..."
	"Oh, come on!" she begged. "What does that mean? We've gotta see a 
Disney movie...?"
	"No, just something else," she said, turning back to Richard's attempts 
to feed himself, not wanting to meet her daughter's eyes.
	"But Mom, vampires are so sexy!"
	Natalie shot her a glance, unable to control the concern that bordered on 
fear. "They are *not* sexy. They're monsters. They're dangerous. I told you no, 
Nicolette! No more discussion!"
	Her daughter was looking at her in surprise. It wasn't often that Natalie 
called her by her full name. For a moment, Natalie wasn't sure just what to say, 
and was relieved when her husband took over. 
	"Come on, Niki. You know your mother doesn't like that kind of 
movie. We'll see something else. Why not the new Star Wars sequel?"
	Nicolette was silent, preferring to sulk. After Steven had left, Natalie sat 
down again to face her daughter as Richie ran inside to get back to his video.
	"Niki, I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood tonight. How about if 
Saturday afternoon while Daddy's home with Richie, we go to see it--just you 
and me."
	Nicolette's face brightened. "Really?"
	Natalie nodded and smiled at her, guilty for having let her own anxiety 
make her snap at her daughter. How could Nicolette know? How could any of 
them know? Even Steven, in the ten years they'd been married, had never pushed 
her to talk about her past....
	Her daughter's hug warmed her. This was her life. This was her 
happiness. Not the ugly past that lived on in her nightmares....
	
	  
	The restaurant had only just opened, yet it had become one of the 
hottest spots in town. Natalie had argued against such an expensive dinner, but 
Steven had insisted, as part of her present. The dress code was formal, and 
Nicolette had been thrilled when they'd gone shopping that afternoon. The dress 
made her look at least fifteen, and Natalie had allowed her heavier makeup just 
for the occasion.
	Natalie herself felt marvelous. In a black silk dress, and with her hair 
down as she'd worn it when she was younger, she almost had trouble believing 
she was forty-five. At fifty, Steven was always telling her that she looked like she 
was still in her thirties. She smiled as he finished his meal and placed his hand 
over hers. How handsome he was, how stunning in his crisp new suit. And 
Richie, beside him, looked adorable in the tiny suit patterned after his father's. 
The dreams of last night, of that other life, seemed to melt into oblivion....
	"This is some place," she commented as she looked around. "And so 
busy. Whoever owns it must be making a fortune."
	"They say some woman owns it," her husband replied. "A rich heiress 
from France." He glanced around. "I think that's her over there," he said, 
motioning to the far end of the room.
	Natalie's eyes followed his to the dark-haired woman in black, talking 
to a waiter. Suddenly, Natalie felt her body grow cold. It couldn't be. The woman 
turned around, and as their eyes met, a glint of recognition, of surprise, greeted 
her. Natalie's lips parted in shock.
	It was Janette.
	"Nat? What is it?"
	"I...know her," she stammered. 
	"From where, Mom?" Nicolette asked.
	Natalie took a deep breath, bracing herself as Janette began to make her 
way towards them. "From a long time ago," she said softly. 



	"Natalie!" Janette's voice was pleasant, though her face betrayed an 
utter astonishment. And it was at that moment that the true meaning of 
immortality impacted upon Natalie.
	Janette had not changed in fourteen years.
	Still youthful, still beautiful, Janette had literally stepped out of a page 
of their past.  And suddenly, Natalie felt the passage of time, and the toll it had 
taken on her, both physically and emotionally. Janette still looked to be no more 
than thirty. And Natalie felt every one of her forty-five years as she looked at her. 
She knew it shouldn't matter. There was no more Nick to compete for. And yet it 
was painfully clear to her that if her life had gone differently, and she had been 
with him today, he would still be the same as he had been, while her own youth 
was slipping away.....
	"Janette," she found the voice to say. "It's been a long time."
	"You're looking well, Natalie," Janette said all-too-nicely.
	"And you haven't changed a bit," she replied with a wan smile. She saw 
Janette glance at Steven and the children, and quickly said, "Janette, this is my 
husband Steven. And my children...Nicolette and Richard. Janette is...an old 
friend."
	Steven stood politely. "Very nice to meet you. You have a lovely place 
here."
	"Thank you," she said, smiling sweetly, as if totally enchanted with the 
meeting. She looked at the children, her glance resting finally on Nicolette. 
"Hello. I've known your mother a very long time."
	And then, as Nicolette's eyes met hers with a cold stare, Janette let out a 
slight gasp. And though she tried to cover it quickly, Natalie had caught the 
strange expression, the complete wonder, the confusion...the fear? Natalie's heart 
skipped a beat as Janette tore her eyes from the child as if afraid to look at her. 
	Janette's facade kicked in. She turned to the waiter, who had just 
slipped the check in front of Steven. "No, this is on the house," she told the 
young man.
	"You don't have to do that," Natalie said stiffly.
	"That's not really necessary," Steven protested, but Janette wouldn't 
hear of it. 
	"Please. It's the least I can do. Your wife and I go back a long way." 
She turned back to Natalie. "I hope we can chat a bit before you leave?" Natalie 
knew it was more than a pleasant request and she nodded as Janette excused 
herself and left, as if afraid to stay at the table for too long.
	"I don't like her," Nicolette declared as soon as Janette was out of 
human earshot.
	"Shhhh," her mother admonished her, knowing that Janette had 
probably heard. "Why, Niki?"
	"I don't know," the girl replied honestly.
	But Natalie knew. And the knowledge terrified her.


	Saying she was afraid they'd miss the movie, Natalie stood, wanting to 
get her family as far from the restaurant as possible. But she knew she could not 
leave without the inevitable confrontation she'd hoped never to have, with 
Janette, or any other vampire she had known. Telling Steven and the children 
she'd meet them outside, she found Janette at the bar, drinking the same 
dreadfully familiar mixture she'd drunk so many years ago at the Raven.
	"I don't have much time," she told Janette as she came up to face her.
	Janette nodded, motioning for Natalie to follow her into her private 
office. She seemed so pensive as she sat down, but her smile for Natalie was 
genuine. "It *is* good to see you, Natalie. When Nicolas told me you'd gone 
away..." She stopped, and Natalie knew that her face had paled at the mention of 
his name.
	"I'd rather we didn't talk about him," she said quietly as she settled into 
a chair.
	"He always speaks of *you*. And I know he's tried so many times to 
find you...almost from the day you left Toronto."
	She didn't need to hear this. She didn't want to hear this. And yet she 
wanted to hear of him, his life....his progress.
	"How is he?" she asked softly. "Does he still...try?"
	Janette sighed, with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I don't see him 
often...perhaps every three or four years. But I know it's been difficult for him. 
He's been very unhappy...bitter...and he keeps to himself. Yet he hasn't tried to 
become mortal--not since that last time. It's as if he's accepted his damnation, as 
he sees it. And he just goes on existing, without really living...." 
	She could see the sadness in Janette's eyes, and could only imagine 
Nick's own sorrow. But she didn't want to imagine it. She couldn't allow herself 
to. It would only feed into her own. 
	"He misses you deeply," Janette told her honestly. And Natalie knew it 
was a difficult admission for her, that Natalie had left a void in Nick that Janette 
was unable to fill.
	"Why are you telling me this?" she whispered, feeling her emotions 
about to erupt.
	"Because you still care about him," she replied. Janette hesitated, as if 
searching for the right words, before she asked, "She's his daughter, isn't she?"
	A cold chill ran down Natalie's spine. She shook her head, praying 
Janette could not read the lie in her eyes. "Of course not. She's Steven's 
daughter. She has his eyes, his hair--"
	"And Nick's," Janette said almost in wonder. "That's why you left, isn't 
it? That's why he *let* you go. He never told me, but it all makes sense, now."
	Natalie felt tears welling in her eyes. The secret that she had shared with 
no one, not even Steven, wonderful Steven, who had adopted Niki without ever 
asking, ever pressuring her to tell him about her father... finally she could share it 
with someone who could understand her turmoil. And yet, the fact that Janette 
had guessed filled her with fear. If Janette could look at Niki and know, couldn't 
others? Couldn't LaCroix?
	"Janette, please. You can't tell anyone. I'm begging you. For my 
daughter's safety. For her life...."
	"I won't have to, Natalie. This city is filled with vampires. I knew when 
I saw her. Not just because she looks like Nicolas. But I saw it in her eyes--the 
way she looked at me--" 
	Now it was Janette who seemed stricken with fear. For herself, for 
Natalie, and the unknowing child, Nicolas' child.
	"Natalie, she is a dhampir. Half-mortal, half vampire. A hunter. She is a 
danger to every vampire, and as such in danger herself."
	"No," Natalie denied vehemently. "You're wrong. Nick was wrong. 
She's just a little girl. A normal, human child--"
	"A child who's growing into a woman," Janette warned her. "How old is 
she, Natalie? Twelve? Has she reached puberty yet? Because if she has, it has 
already begun."
	Natalie shook her head, refusing to accept what she knew in her heart 
she must. "She doesn't even know that vampires exist," Natalie told her. 
	"But she will. She sensed me. Just as I sensed her. And others will 
sense her..." She took a deep breath. "They may already have sensed her. You 
must take her away, Natalie. Because if others have seen her, they will call the 
Enforcers. A dhampir is rare. They will take her, and study her, and kill her!"
	"Stop it!" she cried, panic setting in. "Janette, she's just a little girl. She 
couldn't harm anyone. I'm warning you, if you tell anyone about her..."
	"I won't have to, Natalie. I told you, others will know." She put a hand 
on Natalie's arm. "Listen to me. I would not betray you or your daughter. For 
Nicolas' sake, as well as yours. But you can not stay in this city. There were 
dozens of vampires in here tonight. It's not so strong in her, because she's young, 
but soon it will become obvious. You must take her away!"
	The compassion in Janette's eyes was overwhelming, and Natalie knew 
that she was right. The moment she had dreaded, the day she had pretended 
would never come, had snuck up on her at the moment when her life had seemed 
most secure. And now that it had, she knew nothing would ever be the same 
again.
	"You're right," she said dully. "I know. I've always known. I just didn't 
want to accept it. We can't stay in one place. We can't be anywhere for too long 
where vampires might spot her. Nick told me that long ago, and yet--"
	"You thought it would never happen," Janette finished for her gently. 
"You thought if you forgot about us, and lost yourself in your mortal world, that 
it would all go away."
	"Is there anything so wrong with that, Janette?" she asked desperately, 
her large blue eyes brimming with the tears about to burst. "Wanting to live a 
normal life? To forget all the pain? The sadness? The fear?"
	"No," Janette said kindly, with understanding.  "But you can't escape it. 
Any more than Nicolas has been able to."
	Natalie stood from her chair, drawing in a deep breath to take control of 
her emotions. "Janette, I'll only ask you one favor. If you see Nick...if you talk to 
him before I have a chance to leave..."
	"What should I tell him?" she asked softly.
	"Nothing."
	Janette looked at her dubiously. "Is that fair?"
	No, it wasn't. But... "It's the only way."
	"Natalie, he has suffered for almost thirteen years. Alone. Without the 
joy of watching your child grow. Without knowing where you were, where she 
was. He probably doesn't even know if he has a daughter or a son."
	"We decided it would be better that way," she explained.
	"He may have thought that was the right thing to do, but I know he 
regretted it the moment you were gone.  And though he never spoke of the child, 
I understand now why he sank into the depths of depression that he did."
	"Please, Janette," she begged. She couldn't bear to hear this.
 	"He has never recovered, Natalie," Janette continued, not willing to let 
her walk away without knowing.  "You're going away. I won't be able to tell him 
where you are.  Can't you at least allow me to tell him that he has a daughter, and 
that the two of you are all right?"
	Natalie felt the tears coming to her eyes again. "Yes," she managed. 
"But give me a week, Janette. Time to get away."
	Janette nodded her agreement. "Is there...anything special you'd like me 
to tell him?"
	There was so much! A thousand things swirled through her mind, a 
thousand messages she'd secretly wished she could get to him over the years, 
along with the pictures of Niki so that he could be as proud of her as she was. 
Yet what could she tell him that would not make him yearn for more, for contact 
with her, with Niki, for a life they had been robbed of, and could never have? 
"Tell him, we're okay," she said simply, her voice choked with emotion. "And 
that...I want him to be happy." She bit her tongue, keeping herself from saying 
anything more. That she still loved him. That she missed him. That she needed 
him desperately now. That she was afraid....
	"I'll tell him," Janette promised.    
	Natalie thanked her and turned to go, but Janette called her back. She 
turned to see the vampire's face still filled with concern, with feeling.
	"Natalie...be careful."


	Natalie rushed from the restaurant trying desperately to compose herself 
before facing Steven and the kids. He knew her so well, they all did. They would 
sense something was wrong.
	And something *was* terribly wrong. The life that they knew was about 
to be torn apart by forces they could never imagine existed. And the past she had 
obscured from them, to protect them, to protect her very sanity, would now come 
back to haunt them, to plague them, perhaps for the rest of their lives. They 
didn't deserve this--not Steven, who had been so loving and supportive since the 
day they'd met. Not Nicolette, an innocent child who had no idea of her own 
nature. And certainly not Richie, a baby really, a human child whom she should 
never have had knowing what lay in store.
	But she *had* denied it, or tried to, all these years. She could deny it 
no more.
	"Sorry," she said with a smile as she met them outside. "I had to stop 
off at the ladies room."
	A lie. Another lie to compound the lie that her entire life with them had 
been.
	Steven looked at her strangely, and asked, "Are you okay?" as the kids 
walked ahead to the car.
	She couldn't lie to him anymore. "No. There's something...we need to 
talk about. Tonight okay? Let's not spoil the evening."
	Reluctantly he agreed, putting his arm around her shoulder, wanting to 
comfort her, as he always did, by holding her close.
	But there would be no comfort tonight. Not now. Not ever. And never 
again would she feel safe in his arms. Safety was something she had lost.


	He stood in the shadows, watching. He'd followed her from the 
restaurant, not sure.... But yes. She had aged, as all mortals do. But it was her.  
When he'd glimpsed her eyes, he'd known. His memory was perfect; but even if 
it hadn't been, he couldn't forget those eyes. Those beautiful wide blue eyes that 
he'd gazed into as he'd tried to control her mind all those years ago....
	And now she was here. In this city. Fate, wasn't it, that they should 
meet again? And how quaintly mortal she seemed, with her mortal husband, her 
family....
	They were insignificant. Specks of dust. But she, on the other hand....
	She was his. He'd wanted her since that night. And now, as providence 
would have it, here she was for the taking....


	Spaceships zoomed past each other at dizzying speed, as the Rebel 
forces and the Empire clashed in battle. On her left, Steven watched entranced, 
while on her right, Niki waited patiently for another glimpse of the young actor 
who was equivalent to the Han Solo of Natalie's generation. Natalie had made 
sure to sit next to Nicolette, and she could not help glancing around from time to 
time, wondering if anyone had followed them here. Richie had long since fallen 
asleep, and she held him protectively in her lap. How could she protect them? 
How could she protect any of them?
	She stared ahead at the screen, but the images went past her unseen. 
Another time, another galaxy far far away had captured her mind, as the images 
of the past danced before her....

	*"Are you sure it will work?"
	Nick's enthusiasm was tempered this time by the disappointment of his 
last attempt. Yet the hope that had left his eyes for so long had never seemed as 
strong again as it did today. 
	She looked into his eyes, knowing he could read her every emotion--her 
hopes, her fears....her love for him. "I can't be sure. It's a new strain. Your blood 
samples seem to have reacted favorably. The retrovirus hasn't mutated...but I've 
only been working on it for a month. If you build up a tolerance to the dosage..."
	She didn't have to finish. He could become addicted to the leitovuterine 
C just as he had to its predecessor. Or its effectiveness could simply wear off, 
cutting short his latest endeavor to become mortal. She didn't have the heart to 
see him disappointed again. Nor could she deny him what seemed a viable 
possibility of success. It was his decision. It had to be.
	He squeezed her hand, resignation in his eyes.
	"Let's do it."
	She hesitated. "Are *you* absolutely sure?"
	He pulled her closer, into his arms. "Nat, we've come so far since the 
last time...you and I. I want more. I want to be *with* you. If there's even a 
chance it could work this time for me...for us..."
	She could deny him nothing when he looked at her that way. And the 
mere thought, the mere possibility, of sharing a real life with him, was as 
intoxicating as his gaze. "Okay," she agreed.
	He smiled, giving her a kiss. "Okay, doctor. Whenever you're ready."
	She took a deep breath. "I guess now's as good a time as any." She 
reached for the syringe.
	Again, the excruciating agony on his face, crying out as the serum 
ripped through his body. Even knowing it would happen made it no easier for her 
to watch his suffering. She held his hand tightly, letting him grasp onto her as he 
rode out the wave of pain....
	And then, nothing. Peace flooded his face. Then relief, and wonder. 
"It's gone again, Nat. It's gone," he said in a broken voice.
	Tears filled her eyes as he rose from the gurney, reaching out for her. He 
took her face in his hands, kissing her passionately, with the freedom of knowing 
now that the beast would not intrude upon them.
	"I love you," he whispered in her ear as he held her tightly.
	"I love you, too," she responded, barely able to speak. And as they 
separated, she asked, "So, what's the first thing you want to do now that you're 
mortal again?"
	"I want to take you home," he said with feeling. "And this time, if you 
don't mind, I'd like to spend the day."


	He'd spent the day. And nights and days after that. And each time he'd 
made love to her had been as exciting as the first, each precious moment that they 
spent together more intoxicating than the last. She'd barely argued when he'd 
pleaded with her to call in sick for a couple of days. And when he'd surprised 
her a week later with plane tickets to Hawaii, it hadn't even occurred to her to 
debate him on their responsibilities to real life. Real life could wait. They'd 
waited, suffered too long for this. Simple pleasures that had eluded them were 
theirs now. And they would not take for granted one moment they could walk 
hand in hand in the sunshine. For them it had truly been the stuff only dreams 
were made of--until now.
	Three weeks later, they lay with their bodies entwined on the private 
beach in Kauai that had been their idyllic hideaway. Nick pulled her closer under 
the blanket that guarded them from the cool night air, and Natalie kissed him 
deeply as she ran a hand through his sand-filled hair, reveling in the delight of 
his naked body pressing against hers.
	"I want you again, Nat," he said softly, so that she could barely hear 
him above the breaking of the waves against the beach. He smiled, looking into 
her eyes as if all he could ever want in life were there. "And again...and again...."
	And she gave herself to him once more, relishing every caress, every 
sensation, as their bodies rocked gently together in their passion.
	Later, as he held her still in his embrace, he whispered, "I wish we 
could stay here for the rest of our lives."
	"So do I," she murmured, then looked up at him with a smile.
"But we have to go back sometime, you know. We do have our jobs..."
	"Nat, there's at least ten billion dollars in the bank," he teased. "We 
don't *have* to work another day in our lives if we don't want to." But at her 
admonishing look, he sobered. "Okay, okay, you're right. We do have to go back 
sooner or later. I'd just rather it be later."
	So would she, if the truth be known. But there was something else--
some apprehension she'd felt in him every time they'd spoken of returning to 
their lives in Toronto. "What is it, Nick? Why are you afraid to go back?"
	She'd hit the nail on the head. He *was* afraid. She could see it in his 
eyes as her words hit home. He'd tried to obscure it from her, but confronted 
now, he wouldn't pretend it wasn't there. He couldn't. They'd bared their souls 
to each other in these last few weeks, and it would have been unthinkable to keep 
anything from each other.
	"Nat, here we're away from it all. That other life." He paused. "LaCroix. 
I don't know how he'll react once he knows I'm mortal. And this time--I don't 
have the power to protect you."
	"Nick, he knew we were together again. He hasn't tried to come 
between us since that last time..." She tried to suppress her own involuntary 
shudder as she remembered their ordeal on Valentine's Day. A conflict long 
resolved--but never forgotten.
	He touched her cheek, warming her. "I know. But that was different. I 
was still a vampire--"
	"Nick, if he wanted to, he could find us wherever we are, eventually. 
We can't spend the rest of our lives running..."
	He looked down at her with profound sadness in his eyes, as he said, 
"It's so unfair of me to bring you into this...."
	"Shhh," she soothed him, placing her fingers over his lips. "I don't want 
to hear that. I'm in this for the whole nine yards. I'm ready to take the bad with 
the good. I always was."
	He kissed her fingers, then caressed them with his own. "I know. And 
that's what makes you so incredible." He kissed her. "I suppose I also find it 
hard to believe that this is real. That it won't fail again. That I won't go back--"
	Natalie reached up to run her fingers through his hair, kissing him 
again. There was nothing she could say to reassure him on that count. All she 
could do was show him that she would be there for him no matter what....
	When they had separated, he looked down at her with a new sense of 
peace. "You know, when we do go back, there is something we should do right 
away."
	"What's that?" she asked, smiling brightly at him, glad to see the lines 
of worry gone from his face. 
	"Well, I know it's a little backwards...I mean, usually people spend their 
honeymoon in Hawaii....but, um, will you marry  me, Natalie?"
	Her heart skipped a beat. She felt tears of joy rising to her eyes, as he 
looked at her expectantly. "Yes, Nick. I will..." she managed, though she was 
sure her answer was written all over her face.
	Relief flooded his face, as he brought his lips down on hers.


	Hours later, Natalie awoke to feel the first rays of sunlight touch her 
face. Still asleep, Nick was nestled peacefully against her, his face buried in her 
breasts. She smiled down at him, wishing he were awake to see the splendid red-
orange sky as the sun made its way over the blue horizon of the Pacific. How 
he'd watched his first sunrise in wonder, never losing his awe with each new 
dawn! But she decided to let him sleep. They'd have thousands of sunrises to 
share. 
	Gently, she slipped out from under him, rising to put on the bikini she'd 
discarded last night, not trusting the privacy of this beach as much as he did in 
the daylight. She sat down again beside him in the sand, looking down at his face 
as he turned in his sleep.
	And suddenly, something was terribly wrong. The soft tan he'd acquired 
had turned into a red burn, his face seeming to grow hotter as the sun rose higher 
in the sky. Suddenly, a wisp of smoke lifted up from his face. 
	"Nick!" she shouted in panic. But as his eyes opened tiredly, the sun's 
rays seemed to blind him. He cried out, sitting up, covering his eyes. And when 
he opened them again, they'd taken on an amber glow....
	"Nat, I can't see! I'm blind!"
	Without stopping to think, she grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around 
his body, covering his head, leading him back into the house. "It'll be okay," she 
kept saying over and over, though her voice betrayed her own near-hysteria. She 
led him into the bedroom, where the blinds were shut tightly, helping him onto 
the bed. "Lie down...you're safe now. It's okay...."
	Only when she'd pulled the blanket from him, did she see the full 
extent of his injuries. The burn on his face was matched by at least three more on 
his body. And as he looked up at her with unseeing, but terror-stricken amber 
eyes, she realized that his  fangs were protruding. "It'll be all right," she told 
him, squeezing his hand, unafraid. And she cursed herself for the tremor in her 
voice which he surely would not fail to notice.
	In a few minutes, his eyes had healed, and he'd willed his fangs to 
retract. But his face was filled with anguish as he begged her for another shot of 
leitovuterine. "Nat, please..."
	She had no choice. There was no blood for him here. And the trip home 
would never be accomplished before daylight came again. She found the syringe, 
injecting him, grief overwhelming her as his body was racked with pain as it 
hadn't been since the first time.
	When he had calmed down, he sat up to face her, his eyes filled with a 
horror he was not yet ready to express. "How long will it last?" he asked softly, 
his voice choked with emotion.
	"Just long enough to get you home," she whispered, letting him fall into 
her arms. She held him tightly as he buried his face in her hair, letting his silent 
tears fall. She wouldn't let him see her own. For God knew, she had enough for 
both of them.*

	The kids had fallen asleep on the car ride home, and an uncharacteristic 
silence had fallen between Natalie and Steven. She knew he was waiting for her 
to talk; to give him some inkling as to what had kept her so preoccupied all 
night. He reached over, putting a hand on her thigh, and she turned to offer him a 
reassuring smile. He seemed satisfied. But as he turned his attention back to the 
road, her mind sank once more into the quagmire of memories that tonight's 
events had dredged up from the pit of her soul....

	*The loft was dark, a telltale sign of the deep depression which had 
plagued him since their return. At first, Natalie thought he wasn't home. But then 
she saw the silhouette of his form against the backdrop of stars, as he stood in 
front of the window, immersed in his endless night.
	"Nick?" she said softly, though she knew that with his preternatural 
hearing he had to have known she was standing right behind him.
	He turned to her slowly, the shame of the bottle in his hand written on 
his face. She pointedly ignored it, pretended it wasn't there. This wasn't his 
choice, and she knew it. He needed his strength, and would have to maintain his 
diet of cow's blood for quite some time.
	She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to hold him. But he'd been so 
distant since they'd come back from Hawaii the day before yesterday, almost as if 
afraid to be too close to her. She wouldn't push him, no matter how badly she 
needed to feel his arms around her. "Hi," she said quietly.
	He took her hand and squeezed it. "Hi, Nat." A restrained desire, so 
much like her own.
	"Well, Sydney was glad to be home," she said conversationally. "Three 
weeks at the kennel is not his idea of a vacation. I think next time, we ought to 
take him."
	He smiled a painful smile. "Next time." As if there would be no next 
time. 
	She couldn't stand this anymore. "Nick, I know you're hurting. I...I am 
too. But please, don't shut me out."
	"What do you expect me to do, Nat? Can I kiss you when I'm like this? 
Can I make love to you?" He paused, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Can I 
marry you?"
	"Maybe not right now. But what are you going to do?" she challenged. 
"Pretend this last month never happened?!"
	He turned away from her, staring once more out the window. "It was a 
dream, Nat," he said bitterly. "A beautiful dream. But now I've woken up. And 
this is my reality. A reality that doesn't allow me to love you, and be with you 
like I want to. We're back where we started."
	"No," she told him, her face flushed with anger. "We can't go back. It 
happened. And I won't let you toss me aside every time you have a setback and 
start feeling sorry for yourself!"
	"Nat," he said, turning to her, anguish in his eyes.
	"No, Nick, I won't let you do this to me again! We either try to work 
this out in spite of your condition, or we end it. But for good this time! No 
turning back. Is that what you want?"
	It was an ultimatum, and she knew it. But her heart couldn't take the 
uncertainty her relationship with him had meant in the past. They'd come too far. 
And he had to be willing to work at it no matter what. 
	She was trembling from anger, from wondering just what he would 
choose. She couldn't go back on her word. She had to go on-- with him, or 
without him. There was no in-between.
	Suddenly, his face softened, as his eyes filled once more with the love 
that she knew was still there. He took her into his arms, kissing her softly on the 
cheek as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Oh God, Nat, no...I don't want to 
lose you," he whispered in a broken voice. "I don't want to lose you." He took 
her face in her hands, kissing her full on the mouth, with as much passion as he 
dared. 
	She was breathless when he pulled away. God, how she wanted him! "I 
told you...good times or bad...I'm here...." she said, burying herself in his 
embrace, feeling as if she would cry with relief.
	For a long time they stood there holding each other, drawing strength 
from the commitment that they would keep now no matter what the future held. 
Finally, when the separated, he looked at her with the impish grin she loved.
	"Hey, Nat, how do you think Sydney would feel about moving in here?"
	"I think he'd love it," she replied, moving to kiss him again.*



	Steven had carried Richie into bed, and Natalie had gone in to check on 
Nicolette. So much would happen, and soon her daughter would have the 
innocence of her childhood stripped away. So much to talk about, so much to 
explain....
	Like always, they could sense an apprehension in each other. "Are you 
okay?" Natalie asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, tucking her in needlessly.
	"I guess," her daughter responded, not too convincingly. "But you're 
not. I know. Ever since we saw that lady."
	Again, Natalie could feel the innocent hostility that Niki seemed to have 
felt towards Janette without even knowing why.
	"Who is she, Mom? Where do you know her from?"
	Natalie breathed deeply. "From a long time ago. Before you were born. 
When I lived in Canada, before I came here."
	Niki seemed to hesitate a moment, as if considering what her mother 
had said, and trying to formulate the next question. And then, there it was, as she 
blurted, "She knew my father, didn't she?"
	This took Natalie aback. Niki knew that Steven had adopted her when 
she was two. And she had always considered him her daddy, never asking about 
her biological father. To have guessed out of the blue....
	But Natalie couldn't lie to her. She never had, and never would. "Yes. 
She did know your father."
	Niki's eyes opened wide as if she hadn't really expected to be on the 
mark. She tried to take this all in, then asked, "Mom, what was he like?"
	Such an innocuous question, which could lead to so complicated an 
answer. But the many things she had kept from Niki would be revealed soon 
enough. A simple answer would do. "He was blond, and blue-eyed, just like 
you..."
	"Was he cute? Was he sexy?" she asked, with a typical pre-adolescent 
interest.
	Natalie smiled. "Yes. Very."
	Niki nodded, satisfied. "Do I look like him?"
	Her mother nodded sadly. "A lot."
	Niki sobered. "Was he nice? I mean, a good person?"
	"A very good person," she said honestly. What he had done in the first 
seven hundred years of his life could not change that.
	"Did you two love each other a lot?" Niki asked. Yet Natalie knew Niki 
must see it in her eyes as she spoke of him.
	"Uh-huh. A lot," she told her, feeling the pain crawling up into her 
throat.  "And we can, uh, talk about this all tomorrow, if you like. But you really 
should get to sleep."
	Natalie leaned down to give her a kiss goodnight, but Niki pleaded, 
"Wait, Mommy, just one more question, please?"
	"Okay, shoot," Natalie said, trying not to let her daughter see just how 
difficult this was for her.
	"Why didn't you two ever get married? If you loved each other I 
mean...."
	Natalie took a deep breath, composing herself. "We couldn't, Niki. 
There were a lot of other things going on--things that kept us from being 
together." She took her daughter's small hand in hers. "I promise you that I'll tell 
you everything. You're big enough to know. But tomorrow, okay? I really need 
to get to sleep, and this is too important. We have to sit down and have a nice 
long talk."
	"Okay," her daughter responded, seemingly satisfied that she would 
learn the truth. She reached out to hug Natalie, and Natalie held her for a few 
moments before tucking the covers around her again.
	"Good night, sweetie," she said, standing up.
	"Mommy...don't get mad...but there's just one thing I really want to 
know tonight."
	Natalie turned back to her daughter, not in the least bit angry, but afraid 
that she would break down if this went on much longer. "What is it, baby?" she 
asked softly.
	"Did he know about me? Did he know you were going to have me?"
	"Yes," she said quietly, glad for the darkness that obscured the tears in 
her eyes. "He knew about you, Niki. And he was very, very happy."


	*She came home from work to find him in the kitchen, flipping burgers 
in a frying pan as if he had been a short order cook in another life. "Thought I'd 
surprise you and have dinner ready," he said without looking at her. He motioned 
to the stove. "Burgers, vegetables..." He opened the oven, revealing the pan with 
his favorite delicacy. 
	"French fries," she said with a smile.
	Nick turned to her, looking into her eyes brightly as he caressed her 
arms. "I'm trying, Nat. I really am this time."
	"I know you are," she said softly, falling gladly into his embrace. Was it 
her imagination, or did his lips feel warmer as he kissed her? He *had* been 
trying in earnest, ever since she'd moved in with him a month ago. He'd come to 
realize that there might be no miracle cure...and giving up the blood, completely 
this time, might be the only way to come back across.
	"I never really gave it a chance before," he admitted, his enthusiasm 
brimming over. "But this time, Nat..." He kissed her again, more deeply. And as 
he separated from her, he said tenderly, "Maybe it won't be long before we're on 
that beach again."
	She knew as he gazed into her eyes that he could see her intense love 
for him...as well as the secret she was bursting to tell.
	"What is it?" he asked with sudden curiosity.
	"I have a surprise of my own," she said softly. She'd spent the last two 
hours envisioning all the ways she could tell him. And now, as she stood before 
him, it was all she could do to blurt it out. "I went to the doctor today," she 
began.
	Sudden concern crossed his eyes. "Are you all right?"
	She almost laughed. Couldn't he see how perfectly all right she was? 
She took a breath. "I'm fine...I went to him because I was late."
	Suddenly it seemed to hit him, and his mouth dropped open at the mere 
possibility. "Nat?" he whispered. "Are you telling me...?"
	"I'm almost six weeks pregnant, Nick."
	She held her breath for his reaction. But as his look of shock 
transformed itself into pure joy, she could feel her own tears of happiness 
beginning to surface.
	"But Nat, how?" he asked incredulously, grabbing her hands and 
holding them.
	"You were there," she teased him. "Don't tell me that after eight 
hundred years you don't know how babies are made."
	"I just can't believe this," he said, his voice filled with emotion as he 
looked her up and down, his eyes resting in wonder on her abdomen, then 
coming up to meet hers once more. And then he was scooping her into his arms, 
hugging her tightly, kissing her until she was breathless.
	"Are you all right?" he asked, leading her to the couch. "Is there any 
thing we should be doing...anything you need...?"
	"Maybe dinner?" she suggested, catching a whiff of burning meat. 
"Those burgers are probably charcoal by now..."
	He ran to the stove to find their dinner burnt beyond recognition. Even 
the fries were crisper than he could stomach. He shrugged at her with a sheepish 
smile and she laughed.
	"Don't worry about it," she assured him as he came to sit beside her. 
"We can order something in."
	"No," he told her, taking her hand. "The sun's almost down. We'll go 
out. Celebrate."*


	"Natalie."
	She hadn't heard Steven come into the bedroom, and as she looked at 
him now, the deep concern in his eyes, the present came flooding back. Janette's 
warning. Nicolette. They had to get away.
	But how would she ever explain this to a man who had no idea of what 
her life had been before she'd met him? How could she possibly convey the 
insanity that only years had helped her to accept herself? Yet she owed it to him. 
He'd given so much, to her, to Nicolette, asking nothing in return. He'd accepted 
them at face value, never prying, never pressing...perhaps hoping that with his 
love he could make whatever had hurt her melt into the past.
	And he had. For so long that Natalie had begun to believe in her mortal 
life, and its power to erase all that had come before.
	But it never had. Not really. And the time of reckoning had come, as she 
had always dreaded it would.
	"Steven, we have to talk." But how to begin? How to make the 
unbelievable sound real?
	"Okay. I'm listening." And as he sat across from her on the bed, she 
knew that he sensed this was more than just a passing problem. This was the 
moment he had waited for for over ten years. Patiently. Lovingly. He took her 
hand.
	"Nat, whatever it is--"
	"I just don't know if you'll believe me," she began, then took a deep 
breath. "But you have to. And you have to trust me."
	"I do...."
	"Steven, Niki's life could depend on it."
	His eyes opened wide. This was not something he had expected. "Niki's 
life? What's going on, Nat? Does it have to do with that woman in the 
restaurant?" At her nod, he paused. "Does this have to do with...her father?"
	"Yes," she said, feeling the pang that had gone through his heart.
	"Does he...want to see her? Are you afraid he'll hurt her?" he asked, 
possibilities racing through his mind that couldn't be further from the truth.
	"No. He could never hurt her. But there are people who might, if they 
knew about her. Niki...is very special. She's not like other human children."
	"What are you talking about?" he asked, as she saw the doubt cross his 
eyes.
	"You said you would trust me," she reminded him sternly. "This isn't 
going to be easy, Steven. God knows, telling you this is one of the most difficult 
things I've ever had to do. But we have to protect her."
	"Okay, Natalie." He squeezed her hand as he forced the uncertainty  
from his face. "Just tell me. Why is Niki...different? Does it have something to 
do with her father?"
	She sighed deeply, then looked into his eyes, knowing that only her 
steady gaze would convince him that she was serious...and sane. "Her father was 
a vampire."
	"Oh, Nat, you expect me to believe that vampires exist? That her father 
was one? This is crazy--"
	"I know it is," she told him, her glare unwavering. "You don't have to 
tell me. I lived through it. And I've lived with this secret--his secret--for 
seventeen years, never able to tell anyone..." She paused, her voice cracking with 
emotion as she whispered, "Not even you."
	Steven studied her a moment, his inner conflict played out on his face. 
Finally, he lifted his hand to her cheek, caressing her softly. "I'm sorry, Nat. I 
told you a long time ago that I would be ready to listen, whenever you wanted to 
tell me about your past. It just sounds so incredible--"
	"I know," she said, covering his hand with hers.
	"But I'm here for you, baby. Tell me now. Tell me all of it."
	Relief flooded her as she realized that he would listen. And believe. So 
she began. From the beginning.
	The morgue. Nick waking up. Trying to hypnotize her, but unable. 
Testing her. Their growing friendship. His quest for mortality. Her search for a 
cure. The cow's blood. Janette. The Raven. The Enforcers.
	Richard.
	Roger Jameson. Nick's jealousy. The closeness, becoming a love they 
dared not admit. Then Valentine's Day.
	Azure.
	LaCroix.
	A new beginning, once he'd decided to stay. The cure that failed. The 
cure that worked...for a short time. Kauai. Those beautiful days in the sun....
	Then disappointment again. But a commitment that could weather 
anything. And then new hope. Her pregnancy....
	For hours he'd listened, voicing only a question from time to time. 
They'd gotten past the point where she wondered if he believed her. He did. And 
his expression wavered between fascination...and jealousy. It was so difficult to 
talk about Nick...to tell Steven all Nick  had meant to her...to obscure from him 
the vestiges of those feelings that still lingered....
	"So why did you leave?" he asked quietly. "If everything was going so 
well...he was on his way to coming across...you were pregnant...with his child...."
	"I had to," she said emotionlessly. And as she retold it, it came back to 
her, as powerfully as if she had been transplanted into the past....

	*Dinner had been exquisite, although Natalie knew from her experience 
of the last few days that by morning she would probably be sick to her stomach. 
But it didn't matter. Their world was near perfect again, filled with a hope that 
grew even as the tiny life inside her. 
	"And you're sure everything's all right?" he asked again as he watched 
her undress for bed. 
	She slid in beside him, "Everything's fine," she yawned, closing her 
eyes as she snuggled against him. Peace and exhaustion enveloped her, and she 
let herself drift into sweet dreams of their child....
	His sudden cry of terror jolted her awake. She looked at him in fear as 
the blood tears dripped from his still-closed eyes, a crimson perspiration dotting 
his tortured countenance. "Nick, wake up!" she cried, shaking him.
	"No, LaCroix...I won't do it!" he cried hoarsely.
	"Nick!"
	Her urgency penetrated his nightmare, and his eyes snapped open. For a 
moment he stared at her, disoriented, then closed his eyes, heaving a sigh of 
relief as the past slipped back into its hiding place within his subconscious. 
	"Are you all right?" she asked, wiping his forehead with a tissue.
	The sight of the blood elicited a look of disgust from him, then 
embarrassment. "I'm sorry, this is really--"
	"It's okay," she said quickly. "What were you dreaming about?"
	"LaCroix. And something that happened a long time ago," he responded 
vaguely.
	She said nothing, waiting for him to go on, as he often had when he'd 
awakened from dreams of his tormented past. But a sudden uneasiness had 
descended upon him, as he said, "I don't want to talk about it."
	He seemed almost unwilling to look at her as he lay down once more. 
She didn't press him. She knew there were still some things he found difficult to 
speak of. Nick must have sensed that he was shutting her out, for he drew her 
close to him, and she gladly complied, silently comforting him with her light 
kisses.
	But when she awoke to find him gone, she knew that more than a 
nightmare was troubling him. This was something real, something now. She 
found him downstairs, staring at the pre-dawn sky. She whispered a silent prayer 
that there was no bottle in his hand.
	"Nick," she said gently, "I think maybe we'd better talk about it."
	She'd anticipated resistance, even anger that she was pushing him. But 
she hadn't expected him to turn to her with tears in his eyes. "I can't, Nat," he 
whispered. There are some things...I'm afraid to tell you. Afraid of what you 
might think of me."
	"Haven't we gotten way past that?" she said softly, taking his hand.
	He nodded, taking her into his arms. For a long time he held her tightly, 
and it occurred to her that he was afraid of much more than what she might think 
of him. "Nick, please tell me..."
	He looked at her with an almost timid fright. "Natalie, I need to know 
something...about my condition. You said it's a retrovirus--"
	"It behaves like a retrovirus," she corrected. "You know it's not that cut 
and dry; there's a lot we don't know--"
	"But when I was...human. When we made love...when you...conceived 
this baby...was I cured?"
	"Nick, where's this coming from? Of course you were cured...otherwise 
I wouldn't have gotten pregnant..."
	"Are you sure? The vampirism was gone? Not in my blood?"
	She didn't like the desperation in his voice.  "Well, it must have still 
been in your blood...because it came back...but it was dormant--"
	Sudden panic crossed his face. "Dormant? But doesn't that mean it was 
still in my genes? My DNA?--"
	Natalie could feel her heart beginning to pound. "Nick, you're scaring 
me now. Why all this concern? I've been to the doctor, I saw the embryonic sac 
on the ultrasound. The baby is *growing*, developing. It's human. It couldn't do 
that if it were a vampire--"
	He took a deep breath, as if some horrible fear had been confirmed.  
"Not a vampire," he said dully. "A dhampir."
	"What?"
	He took her hand, and led her to the couch, as if he had something 
awful to tell her. And Natalie didn't know why, but she was suddenly terrified. 
	"Part-human. Part-vampire," he explained. "With the heightened senses 
of a vampire...but without the curse of having to live off blood.  Because of their 
dual nature, they're attuned to vampires. They can sense us. But they have a 
natural aversion to us. That makes them hunters. And as such, a danger to us. 
Our aversion to them is just as deep as our hunger for blood. They hunt because 
they too are hunted. By every vampire who can sense them--"
	"Nick, this has nothing to do with our child," she broke in, trying to 
dismiss what he was telling her with every ounce of logic she could muster.  
"You can't pass down a retrovirus through your genes. A man with HIV doesn't 
pass it to his children, unless he infects the mother, and even then a baby 
wouldn't contract it in utero, only during childbirth, from the blood, or through 
breastfeeding...."
	She was rambling, and she knew it, but it was all too frightening to even 
contemplate. "And look, I'm fine," she told him, trying to prove it to herself as 
much as to him. "You didn't bring me across by making love to me...there's no 
way the baby could--"
	"But are you sure, Nat?" he asked desperately. "There's no 
way...medically...that this could be passed down...?"
	"Oh, God," she sighed, covering her face with her hands, trying to 
think. 
	"Are you sure?" he whispered again, taking her hands into his own, and 
looking into her eyes. "Are you really sure?" He needed to hear that she was.
	But when she looked back at him it was with a doubt that she could not 
obscure. "The only way," she began, "would be if the retrovirus were present in 
your primary spermatocytes...which is unlikely...especially because it was 
dormant..."
	"Is there a way to check...to find out for certain?"
	She hesitated. This couldn't be happening. "Nick, maybe it's just a 
legend--"
	"It's not," he broke in quickly. 
	She didn't dare ask for details right now. "It doesn't matter. You were 
human. It was dormant. The chances are so minuscule..."
	"Natalie, we have to know for sure. If our child is a dhampir...." His 
voice drifted off. But he didn't have to finish.  He didn't have to tell her the 
danger. She knew.
	"Okay. We could perform a test. To see if your gametes are infected." 
She paused. "But it wouldn't be accurate because we wouldn't be testing you 
under the same conditions. It's not dormant right now. The only way to really 
know--"
	This time it was she who didn't have to finish her thought. He knew. 
	"I'd have to take the leitovuterine again."
	She nodded. They had spoken of it. Discussed the possibility of using 
the drug from time to time to allow him even a momentary respite from his 
vampiric state, an occasional indulgence in humanity. Yet they'd decided against 
it, afraid of the side effects as his body grew accustomed to it, and the retrovirus 
mutated to stay alive. Natalie knew that the real reason Nick had rejected the idea 
had been the disappointment, the pain of regaining his humanity only to lose it at 
any moment. It wasn't something he'd wanted to put himself, or her, through 
again. 
	But the stakes were different now. "I want to do it, Nat. We have to 
know."
	She nodded. She knew in her heart they did have to know.
	But she didn't want to.   God, she didn't want to.

	
	There was no joy this time as he went through the transformation--just 
the urgency of the tests to be done, the truth that they would have to deal with. 
And not knowing  how long it would last this time filled each moment with 
apprehension. He hadn't even tried to make love to her, much as they longed to 
be together again as they had in Hawaii. He'd been too afraid that the beast 
would emerge. He wouldn't risk her life. He wouldn't risk their child's.
	They sat together now in the loft, waiting for morning, when she'd been 
able to schedule time on the University's electron microscope. The tests would 
have to be precise--there was too much riding on the outcome. But the hours 
seemed like days, and an uncomfortable silence had fallen between them. What 
was there to say?
	*A lot*, Natalie thought to herself. There had to be something he was 
keeping from her. She thought back to his nightmare, and his plea to LaCroix 
that he could not do it. Do what? What had he dreamed that had made him even 
consider that their baby might be....
	"Nick, you knew a dhampir once, didn't you?"
	It was more of a statement than a question, and it shook the hell out of 
him. He looked down at the protein drink he'd been nursing for the past hour, 
avoiding her gaze, as he replied, "Yes."
	Well, at least he hadn't said he didn't want to talk about it.
	He looked up, waiting for her to ask more, but this time she didn't.  She 
knew when to press him, and when not to. She could see that he realized now he 
could not avoid the topic any longer. He owed it to her,
	"It was in Spain," he began, "during the Inquisition. A vampire named 
Miguel had fallen in love with a mortal woman, Alicia, and they'd somehow 
managed to have a daughter...."
	Natalie suppressed the urge to ask him how they had been able to 
overcome the....logistics....as he went on.
	"She was a beautiful little girl named Milagros," he commented 
wistfully, as if seeing her in his perfect memory.
	"Miracle," Natalie murmured, and he nodded sadly.
	"With all the war and turmoil--King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella had 
just unified the country--" he explained, "her birth had gone unnoticed." His face 
grew dark. "Until she was about twelve. The Enforcers heard rumor of her 
existence....and sent LaCroix."
	He looked up at her.  "Janette and I went along, of course, I honestly 
didn't know what they would do with her. I thought maybe they would study her, 
or even try to bring her across..."
	He took a deep breath. "Are you sure you want to hear the rest?"
	She didn't. But she knew she had to. "It's okay," she told him, knowing 
that this was difficult for him.
	"We had only seen her from a distance. When LaCroix said that she had 
to be *destroyed*--that she was an *abomination*--Janette and I argued with 
him. He saw our compassion for her as a weakness. He told me that he'd thought 
that in almost three hundred years he'd taught me better."
	Nick looked into her eyes. "The one thing he hadn't taught me was 
about the effect that a dhampir would have on us. The feeling of dread, of 
terror... We'd always kept our distance, but he never told us why.
	"The next night, when LaCroix went out to feed, I went to Miguel's 
family's house. I wanted to warn them, hoping they could flee before LaCroix 
realized they were missing. And then Milagros came into the room."
	He paused as if wanting her to know without his having to say it.
	She already did. "And you killed her," she said slowly, reading the pain 
in his eyes.
	He nodded. "I couldn't help it, Natalie. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by 
fear. I didn't know what was happening. It was as if I were being attacked, and 
yet all she did was come towards me. And I could see in her eyes that she knew 
what I was. That alone intensified my feeling of being...somehow threatened...." 
He shook his head as if unable to describe even now the intensity of emotion that 
had assaulted him.
	"It wasn't your fault, Nick," she told him, taking his hand. "You had no 
way of knowing--"
	"I should have, Nat!" he cried, obviously still not having been able to 
forgive himself despite five centuries that had passed.
	"No, Nick," she told him sternly. "He was your teacher, and he 
deliberately kept that from you, as he kept many things, just to have more power 
over you. He knew what would happen, and probably took some kind of sick 
delight in it."
	"I can still hear Alicia screaming," he said wearily. "And I always will."
	She drew him near and he gladly fell into her embrace. And as she held 
him, her satisfaction that he had finally opened up to her was  surpassed only by 
her new understanding of why he was so terrified for their unborn child. And the 
only thing that kept her from succumbing to that terror herself was the conviction 
that there was no way on Earth this could possibly ever happen to them.


	Her hand was shaking as she took the slide from the microscope and 
involuntarily let it fall to the floor. The glass shattered, and with it her dreams.*


	Natalie looked up at Steven, knowing that she had told him all she 
should. Enough to be honest with him, at last. He deserved that. What he didn't 
deserve was to be hurt any more than he had been, and surely it would hurt him 
to know the details of what had followed. The heart-wrenching days of 
discussion and decisions, of desperate passion, the epilogue of her life with 
Nick, and prelude to her life without him. Natalie didn't want Steven to know 
the depth of the wound that had never truly healed. She couldn't bear for it to 
take away from the beautiful life that they had shared in the last ten years. She 
loved Steven, and until seeing the pain on his face as she had spoken of her past, 
perhaps she hadn't even realized how deeply. "I'm so sorry," she said softly. 
"This wasn't something I should have kept from you." 
	She could read in his face both the hurt and the anger he was trying to 
control as he said, "Natalie, I love you. You could have trusted me."
   	"I do trust you, Steven," she told him.  "But I was afraid of what you'd 
think...Afraid...of losing you."
	He shook his head slowly and sighed. "Nat, you're not going to lose me 
over this. If anything--"
	His voice trailed off.
	"What?" she pressed him.
	He shrugged. "I don't know. It just changes things, Nat."
	"Not between us," she broke in, feeling her heart begin to sink. "Steven, 
please, just try to understand how difficult this has been for me. If I had told you 
this ten years ago, you would have thought I was crazy. I wanted to start a new 
life with you, a normal life. I didn't want the past to interfere with that--"
	"But it's not in the past," he reminded her. "If it were we wouldn't have 
to leave town to keep Nicolette from being stalked by vampires! Did you think 
that would just go away, Natalie? Didn't I have a right to know that this might 
happen?"
	"Yes you did. You're right," she admitted guiltily. "I suppose Janette 
hit it on the head. She said that I must have thought that if I forgot about them, 
and lost myself in my mortal world, that it would never happen. I spent the first 
year after Niki  was born virtually in hiding. And then, when nothing happened, I 
thought we were fairly safe. Oh, for years it still terrified me when I thought 
about it, but Steven, we've even run into people that I'm sure were vampires, and 
no one ever gave Niki a second glance."
	He raised his eyebrow at that, probably wondering how she knew. But 
she'd dealt with them enough to know the signs, and from time to time had 
passed by a face with that familiar pallor, expecting at any moment to see eyes 
turn to amber, and fangs protrude. But it had never happened. And Niki had 
passed for a normal child. Only now did she understand why.
	"I began to think that Nick had been wrong. But now I see why we've 
been safe until now. Janette said it's her age. Puberty must have something to do 
with it. I don't think Nick knew that, because the dhampir he knew was Niki's 
age. It explains a lot."
	Steven shook his head. "I don't know, Nat. I'm a lawyer, not a doctor or 
an occultist. This is just too much to think about right now. All I know is that it 
changes everything I thought about Niki's father. I could never understand how a 
man could abandon a woman carrying his child. I thought he must be some 
scumbag that had dumped you, or hurt you so badly that you'd left him. It didn't 
matter to me, so I never questioned.  I figured he was just part of your past.  But 
that's not the case. He *did* want you and the baby, and probably still does--"
	"Steven, don't do this--" she begged. 
	But now that it had sunk in, he could hide his anger, and his jealousy,  
no longer. "Nat, you didn't leave him because you wanted to, and he didn't want 
to let you go. When I met you, you were still in love with him--"
	"Steven, please--"
	"Nat...are you still in love with him now?" he challenged.
	"I love *you*," she told him, with tears in her eyes. It was the truth, 
but she had pointedly avoided answering his question, and he knew it.
	"Nat, that's not what I asked--" he said impatiently, as if she had 
silently given him the answer he dreaded most.
	"But it's the truth, and it's what I need you to believe. Steven, what 
happened with Nick was a long time ago. And of course there are feelings that 
will always be there--he's the father of my child. But so are you--"
	"Oh, yeah, but it took five years before you would even consider 
having a baby with me, Natalie. Why was that? Were you still hoping that Nick 
would fly back into your life and take the two of you away?"
	"No, and I don't know how you could even think such a thing!" she 
cried in exasperation. "It was because that's how long it took me to feel safe 
enough to have another child. When Niki was little, there was never a night when 
we took her outside that I didn't look over my shoulder to see if someone was 
watching. Do you think I wanted to risk bringing another baby into a situation 
like that?! You have no idea what it was like, because I sheltered you from it!--"
	"I didn't  want to be sheltered, Natalie. I wanted to share everything 
with you, good or bad. I wanted you to trust me enough to be honest with me!"
	Natalie took a deep breath. She had been wrong, and she knew it. But 
how to convince him that she had only done it to hold on to all the happiness 
he'd given her?   "Steven, in everything else I've always been honest with you. I 
love you and I do trust you, more than anyone else in the world. Maybe I was 
foolish thinking that if I ignored the situation it would go away, but I swear to 
you, I never wanted to hurt you. You gave me and my baby a whole new life, 
filled with hope. I loved you for that, and I love you now, more than  you could 
ever imagine. Can't you please believe that and forgive me for not telling you the 
truth about Nicolette? Can't you see that I just didn't want to ruin what we had?"
	"Nat, I know your intentions were good--but I had a right to know 
what I was getting into!"
	His words struck her like a slap in the face. "So then I was right, 
wasn't I? You wouldn't have stuck around if you had known about Nicolette!"
	"I didn't say that--" he argued.
	"You didn't have to, Steven," she responded quietly.
	For a long moment he stared at her, as if not knowing what to say. He 
had hurt her with that, and he knew it. But his own pain was greater than his 
need to reassure her. "If you loved me, you would have trusted me," he said 
bitterly, then turned to leave.
	She didn't stop him. She didn't have the strength to. Besides, she 
couldn't blame him in the least if he never came  back.


	He had been watching, listening, observing with his preternatural 
senses. He'd followed them here and waited, perched above them, for something.
	A dhampir! he should have known. Why else would she have left so 
suddenly, abandoned her life, her vampire love, her *Nicholas*. It all made sense 
now. And what opportune timing. Here he was, just as she seemed  her most 
vulnerable.
	Again.
	He watched as her mortal husband stormed from the house, sat on the 
steps to their quaint little home, fuming in his anger and confusion. It would be 
so easy, wouldn't it? He was so weak, so pathetic, so....
	...vulnerable....



	For a long while, Natalie sat staring at the door that had slammed 
behind him. She wanted to go after him, beg him to come back, to forgive her for 
having kept him in the dark.
	But she couldn't. In all the years she'd imagined how to explain the 
complexity of her past, one thing had eluded her.
	She could not justify what what she had done. Not to him, not to 
herself. And the must unnerving aspect of it all was that Steven's words 
resounded in her head with a disturbing familiarity.
	*If you loved me, you would trust me.*
	How many times had she said just as much to Nick? Hadn't she 
resented the things he'd kept from her simply because he'd been afraid of her 
reaction? True, Nick's secrets had been far uglier, his deeds more horrible, more 
shameful. Yet how many times had she felt a wall between them just because he 
hadn't seemed to trust her enough to love him in spite of his past?
	She cringed too, at her own words. She had told Steven that she had 
sheltered him. Had *she* wanted Nick to protect *her* from the truth? No. Had 
she accepted that as a justification when he'd tried to make her forget meeting 
LaCroix at Azure?
	Absolutely not. She had felt betrayed. And far from protecting her, 
she'd felt that Nick had foolishly put her in worse jeopardy by trying to take 
from her her knowledge that LaCroix was a threat to her.
	*I had a right to know* she'd told him. He'd endangered her from the 
moment he'd told her that he loved her, by not letting her know that LaCroix had 
vowed to keep him from loving any mortal. Had Nick wanted to protect her? Had 
he really believed that it was even in his power to do so?  Or had he carelessly 
risked her safety out of his own need for love and happiness? 
	These questions had plagued her for so long. And now, she realized, 
she had been just as guilty as Nick, where Steven, and even little Richie were 
concerned. Had she had the right to become involved with Steven, to bring 
Richard in to the world, knowing that she and Nicolette might forever be targets? 
Or had she ignored the peril in her own desperation for happiness?
	She'd ignored it. As she'd ignored so much, overlooked so many 
things, where Nick was concerned. The danger of being with him, the times he'd 
lashed out at her, or gone to Janette in his frustration over their inability to be 
together. She'd pretended so much of it wasn't there, or that she hadn't cared, or 
been hurt by him over and over again. Yet always, in the end, she'd forgiven him. 
And she knew in her heart that she would have forgiven him almost anything, so 
great had been her love, so passionate her need for him.
	And now it was she who had endangered those she loved. And in a 
small way, she understood what Nick must have gone through, and how his 
anguished loneliness and desire for love had often corrupted his better judgment. 
And again, she mentally forgave him, for the wrong decisions that he had made. 
Whatever he had done, he had really loved her. He'd never meant to hurt her. 
She'd always known that, but perhaps now she truly understood it.
	If only Steven could be as forgiving...
	She didn't want to even think about the possibility of losing him, 
though she knew she very well might. And at once a deep foreboding overcame 
her.
	He was outside, alone.
	Suppose some vampire had followed them from Janette's restaurant? 
There were many, she knew, who wouldn't flinch at breaking their Code, 
especially if some mortal stood in the way of their real target...
	Natalie looked out the window quickly, scanning for him in the 
darkness of the new moon. She'd thought she'd heard him go outside, but had 
been too lost in thought..."Steven," she cried in a hushed whisper.
	The only response was the touch of cool hands on her shoulder.


	Natalie nearly jumped out of her skin, tensing, preparing for the worst. 
But as she swung around to face the intruder, her entire body nearly collapsed in 
relief. 
	"Whoa," Steven said, grabbing her arms to steady her. "I'm sorry. I 
didn't mean to startle you."
	Startle! What an understatement. She didn't want to explain that the 
night air had cooled his hands so, that she'd thought he was...
	It didn't matter. She threw her arms around him, heedless of whether 
he was still angry or not. She was too glad just to see him. "Steven, I'm so 
sorry," she whispered in his ear. "I was very wrong. Please, just forgive me and I 
promise there'll be no more secrets, ever. I love you so much..." She kissed him 
deeply to show him. And when he responded with the same warmth  as always, 
she said a silent prayer of thanks.
	"I know you've been through a lot," he said when they had separated. 
"And I can't pretend that I don't still wish you had confided in me. But I 
understand you had your reasons. I just want you to know one thing." He put his 
hand to her cheek, caressing her as he told her tenderly, "Even if you had told me 
all this years ago--it wouldn't have changed a thing. Not how I feel about you. I 
love you, Nat.." he said, his voice choked with emotion. "And I will until the day 
I die."
	"Oh, Steven," she whispered as their lips met. And he led her into the 
bedroom, making her forget, even if only for a while, about  vampires, dangers, 
and running away. And Natalie lost herself in him, in their love, as she had so 
many times before. 


	Outside, he watched, waited, remembering her scent, and the taste of 
the smooth satin of her neck.  He *would* have her. Her body, her blood...her 
soul. And no one would be able to stop him this time. Not this weak human. And 
certainly not Nicholas.

	Morning came, and with it the rude awakening of what had to be done 
today. Natalie would not let another night pass. Sundown was something she 
hoped never to see in this city again. She couldn't risk Nicolette's life by waiting 
even one more day.
	Aristotle would have to be contacted. He'd promised years ago to 
arrange for another identity whenever she `d have to move again. Actually, he'd 
probably expected to hear from her long ago. But years of safety had made her 
careless, even to the point that she'd allowed Steven to persuade her to move 
from the small town where she'd hidden Niki to the city she knew must be full of 
vampires. She and Steven had both agreed, though, that this move would have to 
be a drastic one. they'd go far away, to another country perhaps. Though it made 
him uncomfortable, she'd told him of the money in the bank, and he'd agreed to 
leave everything of theirs behind so they could not be traced. All it would take 
now was a phone call.
	But there was more urgent, personal business she'd have to attend to 
this morning.
	She had to tell Nicolette the truth.
	How would she react? A young girl who, ironically, had been 
fascinated by vampires in fiction and movies. She thought they were cool, even 
sexy. But to her they'd been no more than fictitious creatures, the stuff role 
playing games were made of . How would she feel to know that her father was 
one, that she herself was part-vampire?
	Natalie had known this day would come, but she had dreaded it. Just 
as she'd dreaded telling Nick thirteen years ago that the tests had been positive, 
that their child would indeed be a dhampir...

	*He'd insisted on coming with her to the University, but he'd had to 
wait outside the lab. Once she'd collected herself, she stepped through the door 
to be met by his questioning gaze...
	But she did not need to respond. It was on her face, she knew, in the 
tears that were threatening to burst from her. She saw him visibly pale, his hands 
almost shaking as he reached out to her. She fell into his arms, still trying to hold 
back her emotions until they could be alone.
	"Oh, Nat," he said softly in a voice filled with anguish.
	"Please, let's just go home," she whispered.

	They'd rode silently back to the loft. Nick had driven with one hand, 
keeping his other arm around her to hold her close, as if not wanting her, for one 
moment, to think that she was alone. Once upstairs, Natalie could keep her 
emotions in check no longer. She collapsed into his embrace.
	"Why, Nick, why?" she sobbed. "Why does everything have to be so 
hard for us?"
	"I'm so sorry, Nat," he responded, hugging her to him. "I should have 
known. I never should have--"
	She looked up at him, suddenly angry. "Never should have what? 
Made love to me? Gotten me pregnant? Don't you start pulling away from me 
Nick, not this time--"
	"I'm not, Nat," he promised, his voice choked with emotion. "I just 
hate to have caused you so much pain by involving you in my life. But I could 
never regret making love to you. Never!"
	Natalie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. The love in his eyes 
reassured her, but there was something else there, too--was it fear? "Okay," she 
said steadily. "So what do we do now?"
	"No one can know about this pregnancy," he said darkly.
	"I know, but in a couple of months I'll begin to show--"
	"You can't stay here, Natalie."
	She looked at him, suddenly afraid of where this was going. "So we'll 
go away," she told him, ignoring the nagging dread. "Find someplace where there 
are no vampires."
	He shook his head dismally. "There is no place where there are no 
vampires, Natalie," he said quietly.
	She pulled away to look him in the eyes. "Then we'll find a place...," 
she said, beginning to panic.
	"Nat--"
	"Hey, you've got to help me out here, Nick," she prodded him. 
"There's got to be someplace we can go, something we can do...We can travel by 
day while you're still on the leitovuterine, and then--"
	"Nat." His eyes were filling with tears.
	"I'll only take the baby out in the daytime, when it's safe--"
	Nick placed his hands on her arms. "Nat, listen to me!"
	"No!" she cried. "You're going to tell me there's nothing we can do, 
and I won't accept that!"
	"Natalie, you do have to go away," he said, choking on the words. 
"But I can't go with you."
	She hadn't expected that. Or maybe she had, but hadn't wanted to 
acknowledge even the possibility. "Are you crazy? I'm not going anywhere 
without you! we're not going anywhere without you!" she yelled, her face hot 
with tears.
	"Natalie, any vampire is a danger to that baby. And I am a vampire," he 
said, measuring every word.
	"But it's your child! You couldn't be a threat to your own child!"
	"I wouldn't want to be, Nat! But after what happened last time--"
	"Nick, that was different! You didn't know what to expect. This is our 
baby. I trust you..."
	"I don't trust myself," he admitted with abhorrence for his own state.
	"Nick, please, you can control it, just like you control your desire to 
take my blood. Please, don't do this--" she begged.
	"What about the baby? " he asked, his voice betraying his inner 
torment. "Don't you realize it will be born with a instinctual  hatred and fear of 
all vampires, including me?"	
	Natalie could see what the thought of that did to him...the prospect of 
instilling loathing and fear in his own child. She threw her arms around his neck, 
holding him tightly. "We'll work it out, Nick. I don't know how, but we will," 
she promised. "Just please, don't do this to me. I need you so much. More than 
I've ever needed anyone. Please, don't make me do this without you--" Her voice 
was lost in her grief, her words cut off by her own weeping. She was frantic now. 
This was worse than anything that could possibly happen to them.
	"Natalie, my love," he whispered in her ear. "I need you more than you 
could ever imagine. But I won't risk your life, and the baby's--"
	"Nick," she wept. She could barely speak.
	"You're forgetting something else," he told her. "LaCroix. In eight 
hundred years, there has been no place on this earth that I could go without his 
finding me. Without the Enforcers knowing my every move. If we went away 
together, how long before they found us?"
	"You could protect us," she said weakly, though she knew it was 
placing more confidence in his ability to do so than she realistically could.
	"Not against them," he said, his voice breaking with his heart. "And 
once they found the baby, they could take him...kill him...or worse."
	"No," she sobbed. "No..."
	For a long time they held each other, their tears intermingling, their 
lips meeting for tender kisses. But the emotional strain was too unbearable in her 
present state, and Natalie felt as if she would pass out. He carried her up to the 
bedroom, lying her down gently, settling next to her to hold her in his arms. And 
for hours they lay there, their bodies entwined, speaking softly of all the 
possibilities, the implications....discussing, searching, becoming resigned to the 
inevitable. Together they cried, holding each other, seeking comfort where none 
could be found. And by morning, they both knew there was no hope, no magical 
solution. Natalie had succeeded in convincing him that his fear of harming the 
child was irrational But the fact that his mere presence would always pose a 
threat, attracting those who would seek to harm their child, was undeniable. How 
could Nick suddenly find a way to do something he'd been unable to do in eight 
centuries? 
	"If you could become human, then they wouldn't be able to track you 
down. Your bond with LaCroix would be broken," she'd suggested, grasping at 
straws. But they both knew that the leitovuterine was not a cure, and with Natalie 
gone, his chances of finding a cure were near impossible.
	At least, in *her* lifetime.
	The sunlight peeking through the open shades was no comfort. Even 
his ability to feel the morning rays on his face was insignificant given the tragedy 
of their situation. His hopes of  becoming human, of enjoying simple pleasures 
such as the dawn, had, in the last few years, been inextricably intertwined with 
his desire to share these things with Natalie. Soon, their life together would be 
over. It was more than either of them could bear.
	Natalie lay against his chest,  her eyes closed, as he stoked her hair. A 
silence had fallen between them now, as they'd exhausted their possibilities and 
themselves. She had no tears left. Her emotion, her energy, was spent. All she 
wanted to do was stay right here with him like this, and pretend that she would 
never have to break away. That fantasy was all that was keeping her from falling 
apart right now.
	"Nat, honey, you must be so tired, " he said softly with concern. "Why 
don't you try to get some sleep?" 
	"I don't want to sleep. I just want you to hold me," she said, cuddling 
against him as if to keep him there.
	"Is there anything I can get you? Food? A drink?" 
	She looked up at him. "There's only one thing I want right now," she 
said. "Make love to me, Nick. Please."
	She could see the desire in his eyes that matched her own. But he 
hesitated. "Nat, what if the leitovuterine wears off...?" he began.
	"What if this is our last time?" she countered.
	It was an argument he couldn't refuse. Or didn't want to. Slowly he 
began to kiss her, tenderly at first, then more insistently. Hungrily she responded, 
his touch bringing back the life that had been drained from her tonight. It had 
been so long since they'd been together like this. Hawaii seemed light years 
away, and so far into the past, that tonight was as exciting as if it were the first 
time. Natalie gasped as his hands reached under her bra, cupping her breasts, 
rubbing, fondling, and finally exposing them to his hungry mouth. She closed 
her eyes, relishing every moment of his exploration as his hands gently worked 
their way down her body, his lips following not far behind. With a desperate 
passion he seemed to want to touch and taste every inch of her, commit every 
sensation to memory, as if this moment would have to last them a lifetime.
	It would.
	Each  caress of his fingers, the teasing of his tongue, the grazing of his 
stubble against the most sensitive parts of her, sent wave after wave of arousal 
through her being. She wanted him so badly, yet she didn't want this to end. No 
one had ever made her feel like this; no one else ever could. The agony of their 
wretched fate suddenly threatened to engulf her. She struggled against it, losing 
herself instead in the overwhelming love she could feel in his every touch, in his 
desire to bring her joy just one last time.
 	With no less desperation than  his own, Natalie reached for him, 
freeing him from his clothes, running her hands over the perfect body that she 
loved so much. And now it was her turn to touch him, taste him, tempt him as 
close to the brink of ecstasy as possible without letting their moment end too 
soon.  "Oh God, Nat..." he moaned in pleasure. "Please don't let this end..."
	She wouldn't. At least not before she had one final chance to melt 
away eight centuries of loneliness, to show him how much she loved him. No 
matter what happened to them now, he must walk away knowing that she'd never 
regretted giving herself to him, body, heart and soul. If she could bring him just a 
few last moments of joy...
	Suddenly he was bringing her gently back up to face him, kissing her 
tenderly, his blue eyes glowing with his love for her. Natalie lay back in 
anticipation as he brought his lips to hers, then lowered himself on top of her. 
She gasped as their bodies melded into one, reminding her how only he could 
complete her, and without him she would be empty forever...
	Together the shared the beautiful sensation of climbing to the pinnacle 
of joy. Then, as they lay together, still joined as one, Natalie could not help but 
feel that somehow destiny once more would smile in their favor someday.
	It had to. Because without each other, neither of them would ever be 
the same again.*


	She hadn't been the same, Natalie admitted to herself, even if she 
could confess it to no one else. She loved Steven. Of that there was no doubt. 
And Nicolette and Richard meant everything to her. She would die for them. Yet 
a part of herself had been left in Toronto. And it broke her heart now that she 
knew that Nick, too, had been lost, that he suffered still, without even the joy of 
knowing about the beautiful daughter he had fathered. Natalie was secretly glad 
that Janette had seen Nicolette, in spite of the way last night had disrupted their 
lives. At least she would tell him, and he would know. And then, maybe, he 
could find some peace.
	The thought crossed her mind that it would hurt him to know that she 
had married. She couldn't bear to cause him any more pain. She didn't want him 
to think that she had forgotten, or stopped loving him. But perhaps it would give 
him the impetus to get on with his own life. She had had to.
	Steven was in the shower, and she rose, wanting to check on Niki and 
Richie, although sunrise gave them some modicum of security. She smiled to 
hear them laughing and shouting outside in the back yard; Niki always took her 
brother for an early morning swim in their pool, as much as it made Natalie a 
nervous wreck. But her daughter was on a swim team, and had taught Richie to 
dog paddle when he was a year old. Finally, Natalie had relented and said she 
could take Richie in the water as long as she watched him every minute.
	Suddenly a scream that had nothing to do with playing. Natalie ran to 
the back door to find Richie running frantically to the house.
	"Mommy! Mommy! It's Niki!"
	She ran past him to the pool, where Nicolette was barely hanging onto 
the side to keep herself afloat. Her face was buried in her arms and she was 
screaming wildly. "Mommy! Daddy! I can't see! I can't see!"
	Natalie jumped into the water, coming up behind her daughter to put 
her arms around her waist. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm here!" she said, as Nicolette 
spun around to throw her arms around Natalie's neck.
	"Mommy, help me!" she cried. "Help me, please!"
	And as she looked up at her mother, unseeing, Natalie took in a breath.
	For Nicolette's beautiful blue eyes were a shimmering amber.


	*She'd awoken to find Nick gone from their bed. And as reality came 
flooding back to her, Natalie knew that she didn't want to be alone. She needed 
to hold him, to be held. Where had he gone?
	Hesitantly she walked downstairs, almost afraid of what she would 
find. He stood by the window, his back to her. The shades were drawn closed 
and she knew...
	He turned as he sensed her, his eyes glowing amber, defeat on his face, 
a bottle of cow's blood in his hand. In shame, he put the bottle down. "Nat, I'm 
sorry. I woke up and knew it was back. I didn't want to take a chance that I might 
hurt you..."
	His voice trailed off as unafraid she put her arms around him.
	"I'm sorry," he said softly.
	"It's okay," she told him.
	His will to control himself in front of her had brought the blue back to 
his eyes. "You were right," he said in a hushed whisper, his voice choked with 
emotion. "It was the last time."
	And she kissed him, heedless of the blood that still lingered on his 
lips....*
	


	How much Nicolette had looked like him at that moment! With her 
eyes aglow, her face filled with anguish....suffering Natalie had wished never to 
see in her child. Natalie had carried her back to the house, had lain her on their 
bed, and made a quick examination. The glowing eyes, momentarily blinded by 
intense sunlight, increased body temperature, sudden dehydration, sun-burnt 
skin...all symptoms Nick had displayed. Photosensitivity...but nothing else. No 
fangs suddenly sprouting, no desire for blood. Nick had warned her this might be 
the case, but it was the first time Niki had ever shown sensitivity to light. 
	She'd had Steven bring Niki lots of water to drink and aloe gel for her 
skin, and instructed him to close all the shades in their room. Then, she'd gone 
about the task of calming her daughter, not to mention her husband and son, who 
were absolutely frantic with worry.
	"Sweetie, can you see me a little better now?" she asked Niki, holding 
her hand tightly.
	Nicolette struggled, but breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah. A little. 
You're blurry, but...." She smiled as she looked to the side of the bed. "Yeah, 
and I see Daddy and the squirt too."
	"Thank God," Natalie said softly, then turned to Steven and Richie. 
"She'll be okay. It's just a little photosensitivity. The sun made her get too hot," 
she explained for her little boy to understand. 
	"But her eyes..." he began, still afraid.
	"That happens sometimes when you get a fever," she lied a little too 
easily for Steven's comfort. She gave her son a hug. "I promise she's going to be 
all right." She looked up at Steven and a silent understanding passed between 
them.
	He picked up his son. "Hey, why don't we let Niki rest, and you and I 
can go out to breakfast. Sound like a good idea?"
	The boy's face lit up. "McDonald's?"
	"Sure." Steven bent down to kiss his daughter's cheek. "Is that okay 
with you, baby doll? I think you and Mom have some things to talk about."
	Niki nodded, knowing precisely what her mother had promised to 
discuss today. She smiled at Steven. "Okay, Daddy. But you owe me dinner, 
okay? And no fast food for me!"
	"You got it," he promised, then bent down to kiss Natalie on the lips. 
"I'll call first, okay?" he said almost inaudibly.
	She nodded, smiling her thanks, then kissing Richard good-bye.
	When they had gone, Niki looked at her with a frightened expression. 
"I know you made it sound like nothing so Richie wouldn't be scared. But this 
isn't normal. John's little sister is photosensitive, or whatever it's called, because 
she has spina bifida. And nothing like this ever happens to her." She held out her 
arms. "Look, Mom, I'm burnt like I was out in the sun for a week! And Richie 
said my eyes were yellow!  What's wrong with me?"
	"Honey, don't be afraid," Natalie said in a soothing voice. "I promise 
it's nothing serious. From now on you may just have to wear sunglasses and 
sunblock when it's sunny out. But it won't get any worse than this..."
	"But how do you know?" she asked, still nearly frantic. "What is it? 
How did I get it?" 
`	Natalie took a deep breath. "It's a condition you inherited...from your 
father."
	Nicolette's eyes opened wide. "This happened to him?"
	Natalie nodded. "But his is much worse. He can't go out into the 
daylight at all."
	Her daughter hesitated as if not sure what to ask next. Finally, in a 
voice that reminded Natalie so much of her own, she said, "I think it's about time 
you told me all about him."
	Where to begin? The beginning.
	"Remember I told you that I used to be a coroner?"
	The girl made a face. "Yeah. Yuck. Dead bodies. Like that really old 
show *Quincy* you watch all the time."
	Natalie shifted on the bed to sit next to her daughter. "Well, one night, 
on my twenty-eighth birthday, they brought in  a body that had been in an 
explosion. They said there wasn't much left of his face, but when I looked at 
him, he looked like he'd barely cut himself shaving. And then, an amazing thing 
happened. He got off the gurney and was alive!"
	"Get outta town!" Niki replied, using the antiquated expression she'd 
picked up from her mother. "Then, he really wasn't dead to begin with--"
	"Oh, yeah. He was. But his wounds healed."
	"How?"
	Natalie hesitated. "Now Niki, I know this is going to sound crazy, but 
I swear to you it's the truth. I'll answer any questions you have, but you have to 
believe me."
	"I will, Mommy," she said in a small voice, almost afraid to hear it.
	"Niki, your father was--is--a vampire."
	"No way..." she  said slowly in shocked disbelief. "But you always 
said they're just make believe....I thought--"
	"I thought they were too," she admitted. "Until I met him."
	"And he--kills people--like LeStat?"
	God, this was a hard question. "He used to. For seven hundred years. 
But then he felt bad because he knew it was wrong. So he stopped. And he began 
to drink animal blood--cow's blood--because he still needed it to live. .."
	"So he wasn't like LeStat," she concluded. "More like Louis. He 
didn't want to be a vampire."
	Natalie smiled. Thank goodness for Anne Rice. "No, and I offered to 
help him. We became very good friends. And over the years....we fell in love."
	"Tell me all about him, Mommy," Nicolette pleaded with a mixture of 
fascination and sadness. "And tell me why you couldn't stay together."
	So she did. From the beginning. And in two hours she retold their tale-
-all  of it--just as she had told Steven. But no, it was different now. With Steven 
she'd had to obscure the full extent of her love for Nick, the hundreds and 
thousands of memories that still warmed her heart. But this was Nick's daughter. 
She deserved to know it all, and to know how much her parents had loved each 
other and wanted to be together. How much they'd wanted *her*.  
	Nicolette listened, enraptured, interjecting questions that alternately 
brought Natalie tears of sweet remembrance and sorrow, as she relived her 
relationship with Nick, uncertain beginnings to bittersweet end. And Nicolette's 
reaction ranged from excitement to sadness, from sympathy to fear, as she came 
to comprehend the burden her mother had carried.
	"Do you have a picture of him I could see?" she dared at one point.
	Natalie smiled and nodded as she silently went to dig out a small 
photo album from her closet, one of the few things she had taken with her when 
she'd left Toronto. She brought it back to the bed, and Nicolette snuggled next 
to her to see.
	The girl's eyes opened wide at the first shot--Nick and Nat together at 
the Department picnic, perhaps two years after she'd met him. She and Schanke 
had convinced him to come down at sundown. Natalie still remembered her 
excitement at seeing him arrive, the warm sensation as he'd come over to her, big 
smile on his face, sat down and started rubbing her calves affectionately. How 
much any physical contact at all had meant to her back then!
	"He was gorgeous," Nicolette exclaimed in surprise. Not what she'd 
expected a real creature of the night to look like, movies notwithstanding.
	"Uh, yeah," she agreed.
	"And Mom, you look so pretty! How old were you here?"
	"Thirty," she replied, it suddenly hitting her. "Oh my God, I've aged 
fifteen	 years since then," she said dully. Nick, on the other hand wouldn't 
have aged a day.
	"It's okay, Mom. You're still just as pretty," Niki replied, sensing her 
mother's insecurity. Natalie smiled and gave her a hug. "Thank you , sweetie. It's 
just that I was realizing that *he* must still look the same."
	"That's unbelievable," she responded, looking over the rest of the 
photos. Suddenly she sobered. "So, it's because I'm a...dhampir...that we had to 
go in hiding." She looked up at Natalie sadly. "You two looked so happy...and in 
love...it must have been really hard to leave him!"
	Natalie took in a deep breath, tears filling her eyes. "It was the hardest 
thing I've ever had to do in my life."


	*She stood at the foot of the bed, where he sat in perfect silence, his 
arms wrapped about her lower body, his head nestled against her growing 
abdomen, listening...
	"I can hear its heartbeat," he whispered to her in wonder. "Not just 
sense it, but hear it..."
	They stood there for a long moment, Nick listening to the child he 
would never know, Natalie running her fingers through his hair, trying to savor 
the closest they would ever come to being a family. Finally, with a light kiss to 
her belly, he brought himself up to meet her. His eyes were filled with blood 
tears. "Oh, Nat..."
	He crushed his lips against hers, and she kissed him deeply, neither of 
them really heeding the threat that his beast might emerge. He finally pulled 
away, his eyes amber, his face filled with anguish that mirrored her own. 
Reluctantly, he let go her hand, if only to calm himself and his need for her.
	Natalie wiped the tears from her cheeks, resisting her own urge to run 
back into his arms. She fumbled with her pocketbook, checking to see if she had 
everything--wallet, makeup, a small photo album she would not leave behind. 
Aristotle would provide the rest when he arrived. She was permitted nothing else 
that might link her to her past.
	She felt him come up behind her, wrap his arms around her waist, rest 
his head on her shoulder. "Nat, please," he begged her. 
	"Nick, don't make this harder," she pleaded. She could barely hear her 
own voice. She turned to face him, his eyes their normal sky blue, his lips 
catching hers once more. They kissed passionately, their tears intermingling, then 
fell into a tight embrace.
	"Nat, I won't accept  that l can never see you again...never see our 
baby..." he said softly in her ear. "Please, don't do this..."
	So much had changed in the past few weeks, as her impending 
departure had become a reality. Nick, who had been so sure of their course, 
could not bear to let her go.  While Natalie, growing more protective of the life 
she could feel growing inside her, had become convinced that there was no other 
way. She had to safeguard their child at all costs--even if it meant leaving the 
man who meant more to her than life itself.
	"Nick..." she began in despair.
	"We'll find another way. There's got to be another way," he cried 
desperately. But it was no use. He knew as well as she that they had considered 
every option. Only this path would secure the safety of their unborn baby.
	He took her face into his hands, looking into her eyes. "Natalie, I love 
you. I need you." The pain in his voice tore at her already breaking heart.
	"Nick, our baby's needs, its life, are more important than yours or 
mine," she reminded him. "Please, don't make this harder on me! Do you think I 
want to go? Do you think I want to...leave...*you*?" A new wave of tears burst 
from her, and he held her tightly as she sobbed in his arms.
	"It's okay," he said tenderly. "I'm sorry, Nat...I'm so sorry..."
	After a long while she separated from him, attempting a smile to show 
him that she was all right. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, 
and gave her a light kiss.
	"I, uh, have some things for you..." he managed, trying to keep his own 
control now, if only for her sake. He led her to the bed, where she sat beside him 
as he took two small boxes, and three envelopes, from his dresser drawer. He 
handed her the first, a small but thick manila envelope. She looked at him 
questioningly as she opened it to reveal a small fortune.
	"That's just some spending money to have on you," he explained.
	"*Spending* money? What am I buying, a car?" she replied. "Nick, I 
don't need--"
	"Nat, take it. You never know what you might need. It's only fifty 
thousand dollars. I've also arranged for Aristotle to set up an account for you in 
your new name--he'll give you all the papers--with ten million dollars--"
	"Are you crazy? What do I need with ten million dollars?"
	"Nat, I just want to make sure that you and the baby are comfortable, 
and taken care of. You'll need things...a nice house...medical care...the baby's 
education..." He put a finger on her lips to silence her protests. "Please Nat, if I 
can't take care of you myself...this is all I can do. And if there's anything left, it 
will be for him, or her, later on..."
	Her first thought was that the baby needed its father, not his money, 
but she would never say that. Her bitterness was at their situation, not at him, and 
he was hurting enough.
	"Okay," she said, putting the envelope into her bag. "Thank you."
	"I've also told Aristotle that if you ever need anything," he added, "--if 
you're in trouble, or you need help of any kind--you should call him, and he'll 
contact me immediately, wherever I am. Okay?"
	She nodded. "Do you think you'll stay here long?"
	Somehow it was less frightening knowing where he would be.
	"There's nothing for me here now," he said grimly. "But I'll stay for a 
year. Just in case you  want to reach me. After that, Aristotle said he would get a 
message to me. He'll always know where to find me." He paused. "But you'll 
have to contact me. Once, you're hidden away, he won't let me know where you 
are. That's the way it works. It's safer for you and the baby that way."
	She could see him hesitate a moment as if trying to control his grief 
once more. He obviously had more business to take care of, and wanted to stay in 
that mode. He reached for a second envelope, and a small box.
	"This is for the baby," he said. "This is a letter, for when he's older. 
Just some things...I wanted him to know..."
	She squeezed his hand as he gave it to her. How difficult this must be! 
At least she would have their child. He would have nothing but his memories and 
his pain.
	"Him...or her..." she reminded him softly with a smile. "I still think it's 
going to be a girl..."
	"Then I hope she's as beautiful as you," he responded, looking into her 
eyes with the only smile she'd seen in weeks.
	He opened one of the small boxes. "This is for him...or her," he added 
with a twinkle in his eye. "The only thing I have left from my family. My father 
gave it to me before I went to the Crusades. It was the last time I saw him before 
he died."
	The heirloom he held out to her was a large gold ring, with a blood red 
ruby inset in the shape of a cross. On the side was a family crest, and the name 
"Brabant". 
	"I don't wear it for obvious reasons," he said, not looking directly at 
the cross. "But dhampirs aren't affected by holy relics..." 
	"Nick, it's beautiful," she said in awe. "It'll mean a lot to your son or 
daughter. I know it will."
	"I hope so," he sighed. "And I hope between my letter...and whatever 
you tell him...he'll understand.  Not feel like I..." His voice trailed off.
	"This baby will know how much you loved him..." she promised. 
"Enough to stay away just to protect him..."
	"Or her..." he murmured softly. He smiled, then reached for the other 
envelope. "Oh, and I almost forgot...I think this is for you."
	She was about to open it, but he stopped her. "No, read this after the 
baby's born."
	She nodded, slipping it into her bag with the baby's present and letter.
	He handed her the box. "*This* you can open now."
	She pulled away the silver wrapping paper to reveal a velvet ring box. 
She hesitated a moment, not knowing if she had the strength for this. He helped 
her, opening the cover to reveal  a brilliant ring of teardrop-shaped diamonds.
	"My God, Nick, this is beautiful... Thank you," she whispered. She 
had never seen so many diamonds in her life, at least not on one ring.  The center 
stone had to be four karats, with four one-karat diamonds on either side. 
	"I had bought it originally as an engagement ring," he explained, 
obviously pleased that she liked it. "But then..."
	She knew. And she kissed him before he could say anything else. 
	"It's engraved," he told her after they had parted.  And he held it 
sideways so that she could see. *I'll love you forever, Nick*
	Natalie's lips parted, and she was speechless. He looked at her 
questioningly, and she reached into her bag to pull out the gift she had bought 
for him. Surprised, he opened it to find a thick gold band. Engraved inside, the 
words, *I'll love you forever, Nat*.
	"Thank you..." he managed. His voice was gone.  Solemnly, he took 
her left hand, slipping on the diamond ring, then brushing his lips against her 
fingers. Natalie took his left hand, slipping her gift onto his ring finger, 
completing the ceremony. One last passionate kiss as the doorbell rang...
	They walked hand in hand down the stairs, to find Aristotle already 
waiting. He gave Nick a silent nod, respecting the grief he could clearly see on 
their faces. He handed Natalie some papers--plane ticket, passport, driver's 
license, bank book--looking at Nick sympathetically as he fought the urge to see 
the name.
	"Ready?" he asked Natalie.
	She nodded. As ready as she would ever be.
	Nick bent down to pick up the carrying case where Sydney had been 
patiently waiting, and handed  it to Aristotle. "Thank you," he told him once 
more.
	Aristotle nodded, taking the case from him. The elevator door slid 
open and he stepped inside to give them a last moment together. 
	Natalie turned to him, and suddenly began to feel all hell break loose 
inside of her. There was no need to control it anymore. No use. This was it. 
	Forever.
	Their lips crushed together as they melded  for one last time. Her face 
was hot with tears, and the coolness of his skin gave a soothing comfort she 
couldn't let go. The eternity they seemed to hold each other--crying, kissing, 
with whispered, "I love you"s--ended too soon. Natalie stepped away knowing 
that if she waited any longer, she would never be able to let go.
	"Nat..." his voice cracked as she stepped into the elevator.
	"I love you," she mouthed again as the door slammed shut between 
them.
	The emotional force of it all nearly knocked her over. She stepped 
forward, reaching out as if she would open the door, go back to him for just one 
second more...
	But Aristotle's hand gently touched her arm, and she resisted.
	She knew what she had to do. And she lightly placed her hand on her 
abdomen to remind herself why, and to draw strength.*

	Nicolette's face was wet with tears. "Mommy, that's so sad," she said 
in a small voice. "I-I didn't know. You loved each other so much, and you had to 
go away because of me. It's all my fault--"
	Natalie didn't like where this was going. This wasn't what she'd 
wanted Nicolette to get out of her story. But unfortunately, their daughter shared 
Nick's propensity for feeling guilt, accepting blame even when there was no 
blame to be had. "Sweetie, none of this is your fault--"
	"It is! You'd still be together if it weren't for me, wouldn't you?"
	Natalie wondered. She'd like to think so. But that wasn't important 
right now. Nicolette's feelings, her beliefs about herself and her role in all this, 
were.
	"Niki, listen to me. Your father and I loved each other very much. And 
you came out of that love. We wanted you, and we made the only decison at the 
time that we could. We would have done anything to protect you. We still would. 
But that decision, and the responsibility, were ours. Not yours."
	Nicolette took a deep breath and nodded. "I understand.  I just can' 
thelp but think of how awful it must have been for you to leave him...and be 
alone when you had me..."
	"Oh, Niki," she said tenderly, hugging her. "But look what I ended up 
with--you! And then I met Daddy, and we had Richie. We're doing okay, aren't 
we? And even though we have to go away now, at least we have each other."
	"I know, Mom," Niki said wistfully, looking her in the eyes. "But what 
about him? He lost you...and he doesn't know anything about me. Don't you 
think he's awfully lonely?"
	The momentary cheer fell from her face as Janette's words came back 
to her. She didn't want Niki to know how desolate Nick truly had become 
without them. "I'm sure it's been very lonely for him," she managed. "But 
Janette--the lady in the restaurant--is going to tell him that she saw us, and that 
we're okay. And I'm sure he'll be happy to know that."
	Nicolette hesitated, parting her lips as if to ask a question, then 
stopped. Natalie waited patiently, but when she didn't voice her thought, asked, 
"Would you like to read your letter now? And have his present?"
	Nicolette nodded, then questioned, "Have you read it? Do you know 
what it says?"
	Natalie shook her head. "No, it's yours. You can take it to your room 
and read it alone if you want." Though she did want to see what Nick had written 
to his daughter!
	She was glad when Nicolette asked her to read it with her, and they sat 
together as the girl gingerly opened the enveope that had been sealed thirteen 
years ago. She read aloud:
	"To my beloved son or daughter,
	If you are reading this now, it means that your mother thought you 
were old enough to know the truth: about me, what I am, and what you are. 
Please don't be frightened. I know that you have the best of your mother in you, 
and all the good that she brought out in me. With her love and guidance, you will 
be just as strong as she is, and you will survive.
	Each day, as I've listened to your heartbeat, and felt you growing 
inside your mother, my love for you has grown. I don't know how I can bear to 
never see you. I'll never see you born, watch your first steps, or hear your first 
words. I won't be there to raise you, guide you, teach you all that I have learned 
in my eight hundred years. I won't see the person you will become. And the 
thought of this is  insufferable to me; just as unbearable as the thought of never 
seeing your beautiful mother again.
	In eight centuries, I have never loved anyone as I love her. And your 
life is the miracle that our love created. I hope that you will understand why we 
had to be apart. I would give my life to protect the two of you. And I would die 
of loneliness rather than  see any harm come to you. My only dream is that 
someday, we'll find a way to be together. It's that hope that will keep me going 
in the years to come.
	Until that day, don't be sad. I take comfort in knowing that you and 
your mother are safe and happy. That's the most important thing. Please 
understand, and forgive me for not being there. My heart, and my soul, are with 
you both, always.
	Love, your father,
	Nicholas de Brabant Knight"

	Nicolette's voice had begun to crack with her own emotion as she'd 
read her father's words; she finished in a whisper.  Natalie held her daughter as 
she wept in her arms, trying desperately to control her own emotions. "It's okay," 
she said softly. "It's okay..."
	Yet Niki's reaction had left her with a horrible sense of deja vu. 
Twelve years ago, as she had lain in her hospital bed, Natalie had held her 
newborn infant in her arms, and sobbed softly as the words of his letter to her 
had gone through her mind...
	*My beloved Natalie,
	Even as I write this, you are preparing to go away. I know it's a 
decision we both made, and I know it's for the best. Yet I can't bear the thought 
of losing you. And I can't bear the thought that I will never see our baby...
	By now, our child has been born. I wanted you to open this today so 
that in some small way I could be with you. This isn't right, Nat. I should have 
been there, to hold your hand, to comfort you through the pain...to share in your 
joy. Today, you've made me the happiest man on Earth; you've given me the kind 
of immortality that surpasses any I've known. You've given me a miraculous gift 
I never dreamed possible. Yet without you, without our baby, I am desolate and 
alone. 
	Please, Natalie....I couldn't convince you not to go. But perhaps by 
now you are feeling what I do. That this is wrong. That we belong together. That 
somehow we can find a way to protect our child without being apart like this. I 
love you so desperately, so passionately, as I have loved no other woman in eight 
hundred years. I don't think I can go on without you. You changed me, Nat. You 
took a cold heart and warmed it with your love. Without you, I'm nothing. And 
the only thought that keeps me from walking into the sunlight is the hope that 
you will come back to me. That someday we can be together, and be a family...  
	I know that day will come. Please call me, Nat. Tell me that you're all 
right. Tell me about my son or daughter. And tell me where you are. I'm lost 
without you, my love.
	Nick"

	She'd read it so many times, she knew it by heart. And she loved him 
so much, that she could die for want of him. Yet she hated him for torturing her 
like this when he knew that she'd only done what she'd had to, what he himself 
had convinced her she'd had to!
	She'd almost called him. In her thirty hours of labor, she'd whispered 
his name over and over. It had taken all her resolve not to call him then, not to 
beg him to come to her, to be with her. The demarol had done little to ease the 
pain; it had merely sent her into a dreamland where she almost felt him there, 
until the next contraction would bring her back to reality.
	She was alone. And as she'd seen couple after couple come into the 
labor room, she'd never felt so alone in her life.
	Then, her daughter had finally come. Nicolette. She'd decided on the 
name long ago. But she'd never imagined that looking into the tiny face, she 
would see him, so much of him. And as she held her daughter now, she wept, for 
the father she would never know, and for the miracle that she was. And she knew 
that she couldn't call him. Her mission in life was clear now. To protect this tiny 
wonder, this part of Nick that was hers no matter what....*
	"Mom?"
	Niki's small voice brought her from her reverie.
	"Yes, baby," she said, giving her one final hug before they separated.
	"Can I see...the ring?"
	"It's yours," she told her as she got up to take it from her jewelry box. 
"When I knew you were going to be a girl, I bought this chain for you to wear it 
on."
	Nicolette looked at the antique ring in wonder, reading the name 
aloud. "Brabant. So that's my real last name. My family name." She undid the 
clasp on the thick gold chain, and Natalie helped her put it on. It was perfect. 
Nicolette smiled through her tears, then sobered. "He must be so lonely," she 
said again.
	Natalie nodded, Janette's words haunting her.
	"Do you think...I could ever meet him?" she asked timidly, as if afraid 
Natalie would get angry with her for saying it.
	Natalie thought a moment before responding. She had known that this 
would come up, and it was a question she dreaded having to answer. "Right now, 
Niki, it wouldn't be safe. But someday...I'm sure you can."
	She seemed satisfied with that. She sat for a moment, playing with the 
ring, looking at it as she formed her next question. "It would...probably hurt 
Daddy, though, wouldn't it?"
	Natalie knew it would disturb him, especially if Natalie had to see him 
as well; but Nicolette had a right to know her father if she wanted to. "Niki, if 
someday you were to meet your father, even have a relationship with him...Daddy 
would understand. As long as he knew you still loved *him* too."
	"Oh, I'll always love Daddy," she assured her quickly. "I just feel 
guilty that...I really want to meet him, Mom. He's been so alone without us." She 
paused, not knowing how to formulate what she was feeling, until she blurted, 
"He needs me to love *him*, too." Then she added, "If that's...uh...okay. I 
mean..."
	"Niki, that's perfectly okay," Natalie promised her, taking her hands 
and squeezing them. "Nick is a wonderful man, and if you met him, you would 
love him. And there's nothing wrong with that. You can love both of them at the 
same time."
	Her own words chilled her, because she wondered if she were talking 
about Nicolette....or herself. That was why Nicolette's final question knocked 
her off guard.    
	"Mommy, do you still love him?"
	She didn't want to answer. She didn't want Nicolette to think for one 
moment that this threatened the life they had. It didn't. And yet, shouldn't 
Nicolette know that she was the product of an enduring love, and not just some 
fancy of Natalie's past? Natalie owed her the truth, for all that she had been 
deprived of. "Yes, Niki. I do. Very much," she confided. And she held out her 
right hand for Niki to see.
	And at once, Nicolette realized that the diamond ring her mother 
always wore was the very ring Nick had given her. Her mouth dropped open. "All 
these years you've been wearing that, I never knew..."
	"Nobody does," Natalie told her, and she took it off to let her daughter 
see the inscription inside. "When I got engaged to Daddy, I put it on my other 
hand." She paused, collecting herself. "I just...couldn't take it off."   And sensing 
her daughter's mixed emotions on that one, she quickly added, "Niki, I do still 
love him. I don't think I could ever stop. But that doesn't take away from the love 
I feel for Daddy."
	Niki nodded her understanding as she handed her back the ring. "Did 
you tell Daddy the whole story?"
	"Most of it. Not the last part, though. About the letters. And the 
presents. And not--"
	"--not the way you still feel about him," Nicolette guessed.
	Nat's face flushed. "Niki, I told you because I trust you, and because I 
want you to know that you came out of a very special love. But I don't want your 
Daddy to be hurt. I love him very much, and he's been so good to us. It doesn't 
change the way I feel about him, and I don't want him to feel bad and think that 
it does. He and Richie and you and I are a family. Nothing can change that."
	"It's okay, Mom," Niki told her. "I understand. And I won't say 
anything. I promise." And she hugged her tightly to seal the secret that would be 
between them.
	Just then, the phone rang. It was Steven, calling from the car on his 
cell phone.
	"Is it okay to come home?" he asked.
	"We're waiting for you," she said with emotion.


	Nicolette gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and a smile as the front 
door opened, then slipped the Brabant family ring into her shirt. Close to her 
heart, but out of Steven's view. Natalie followed her down the stairs, her heart 
warming as she saw Steven and Richie. The little boy ran into her arms and she 
picked him up, kissing him. And out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nicolette 
run to give Steven a big hug.
	"Did you and your Mom have a nice talk?" he asked, looking  over her 
shoulder into Natalie's eyes.
	"Uh-huh," she said simply, then  added, "I love you, Daddy."
	God, was that what Steven needed to hear! And at that moment, 
Natalie was so proud of her daughter, for the maturity and sensitivity that went 
way beyond her years.  Steven squeezed her tightly before lettting her go to look 
into her eyes. "And I love you, baby," he said with tears in his eyes. He wrapped 
one arm around her shoulders, drawing in Natalie and Richie with the other. 
Natalie kissed him on the lips, and he responded with more passion than he 
normally did in front of the kids. "What do you say we  get packed? This 
family's got a big day ahead."


	The kids were told to each pack no more than a bag of their most 
important personal effects. They were busy doing just that while Natalie dug out 
the phone number she'd thought she wouldn't have to use again.
	Aristotle.
	The phone rang a few times, and he tiredly answered.
	"Aristotle, I'm sorry to wake you in the middle of the day, but this is 
an emergency. This is Natalie Lambert..."
	She saw Steven raise an eyebrow. He'd never heard her real name. He 
came to sit beside her as she spoke.
	"Oh, Natalie...Nick's girlfriend. How are you? And the baby?"
	Nat was glad Steven couldn't hear the other end of the conversation. 
"We're fine. My daughter is twelve years old now."
	"A daughter. What Nick wouldn't give to hear that! He's driven me 
crazy the last few years. He must have come in a couple of dozen times trying to 
find out where you were, asking if you'd been looking for him. The first time was 
about a week after you left. He said he'd changed his mind, and wanted to get in 
touch with you...but you know the rules..."
	"I know," she said sadly. "You did the right thing." She was *very* 
glad Steven wasn't hearing this.
	"So what's up now? You want me to get a message to him?"
	"No," she said quickly. "We need to get away. We're right in the 
middle of Los Angeles, and made the mistake of walking right into--"
	"Bad move, Nat. I told you to stay in the suburbs. L.A.`s crawling with 
vampires. Believe me. I placed half of them there myself." He paused. "So you 
need papers for you and the kid--"
	"It's not just us. I've got a husband and a four-year old son." Aristotle 
paused and she felt almost guilty telling him this.
	"Okay," he said finally. "But I'll need pictures. And I can't get you out 
of there for another two days. At very least."
	"We don't have two days," she said, alarmed. "Someone could have 
followed us from the restaurant. I'm afraid to stay another night!"
	"Natalie, it takes a while to set this up! You need new identities. That 
can't be done overnight--"
	"I'll pay you whatever it takes," she said desperately. "I've still got 
over nine million of Nick's money--"
	"It's not the money," he told her.  "You know I don't usually place 
humans. All I want is fifty thousand for pulling the papers through. I'm doing 
this as a favor to Nick..."
	"Then you understand that if we're not out of here, our daughter's life 
is in danger," she said matter-of-factly. "Please, Aristotle..." she begged. 
	Finally he relented. "Okay, look. I'm not far from you. If you get out of 
there by sundown, you can make it here by morning. I'll have everything ready. 
Just bring pictures, and I'll have you set up by tomorrow evening."
	Natalie heaved a heavy sigh of relief. "Thank you. I owe you one."
	He laughed. "No. Nick does." Then he sobered. "Seriously, though, I 
won't tell him I spoke to you if you don't want me to. But I think he'd like to at 
least know about the kid." 
	"We'll talk about that tomorrow," she said to let him know that she 
wasn't free to speak.
	Aristotle gave her the address, and she hung up, looking over at Steven 
who had been waiting patiently. She relayed the plan to him and he nodded. 
	"The sun goes down by eight. We'll go for an early dinner, and be out 
of here before then." He shrugged his shoulders. "I promised my daughter, 
remember?"
	She smiled and kissed him, allowing herself to rest for a few long 
moments in his embrace. They had a lot to do. But as long as they were together, 
they could handle anything.


	He would have no sleep today. Not even the now-empty flasks of 
blood at his bedside had brought him satisfaction. He didn't want this bottled 
swill. He needed warmth, flesh, the sensation of his fangs piercing ivory skin, the 
scent of a woman's fear and arousal as he drew her life essence into him, the 
exhiliration of feeling her thoughts, her agony, her memories, her desire, her 
terror...
	He wanted *her*.
	His perfect memory recalled the taste of her neck, the scent of her fear, 
the warmth of her skin. She had almost been his that night. His to ravage, to 
violate, to destroy...
	...or make his immortal companion. He still could not say for certain 
what his intention had been, what he would have done.  Yet her bravery, her 
strength, had impressed him as much as her beauty. Somehow, it would have 
been a waste to drain her, to leave an empty husk where all that vibrance had 
dwelled.  He would have brought her across. He would have kept her for 
himself...
	...had *he* not come to her rescue. But Nicholas was not here this 
time. .
	He cursed himself for not destroying  her insignificant mortal husband, 
her Steven, last night. But he had hesitated  too long, and the moment had been 
lost. But then again, it hadn't been for naught. He'd found a perverse pleasure in 
watching them together. It had incited him, aroused him, elicited desires for 
*more* than her blood.
	He would have *that* too.


	Natalie laughed to see Richie make a face at his first taste of sushi--
then grab for another piece. He'd put way too much wasabi on the sliced tuna, 
and the hot spice had made him wince. But he loved it, just like Nicolette, who'd 
gotten to choose her favorite restaurant tonight. Things seemed so normal for 
them right now, despite the last twenty-four hours, and Natalie had finally begun 
to feel good again. Both Steven and Nicolette had digested her revelations with 
extraordinary ease, and it seemed that a family tragedy had been averted. Neither 
of them were angry at Natalie--on the contrary, she felt a real closeness with both 
of them, having once and for all confided in them what she should have long ago. 
And Nicolette and her Daddy, the only father she'd ever really known, were 
having more fun together than ever. Perhaps it was Steven's relief that her 
feelings for him hadn't changed; perhaps it was Nicolette's desire to show him 
that they hadn't. All Natalie knew was that  they truly were a happy family. 
Maybe things weren't as desperate as she'd thought...
	And in their desire to forget about the difficult transition they were 
about to make, they all quite forgot that sundown was quickly approaching....


	He watched with anticipation as the sun began to sink below the 
horizon, Venus brightly shining on its tail....


	They pulled into the driveway as the sky began to grow darker. "Let's 
get a move on, guys," Natalie said with a sudden sense of foreboding. They'd 
packed before they'd left for dinner, and had only to grab their bags, freshen up 
and leave. But as night time quickly approached, Natalie cursed herself for being 
lulled into a false sense of security.
	"Steven, let's get out of here," she said nervously as the kids headed 
upstairs to the bathrooms and to get their things. 
	"Nat, come here," he said, holding his arms out to her.
	She fell into them gladly.
	"Calm down, baby," he said tenderly. "I know this last day's been 
rough, but we're gonna be okay."
	"I love you," she whispered in his ear. "Thank you for making this so 
much easier."
	He kissed her deeply, then looked into her eyes. "Thank *you*"
	She smiled lightly. "For what? For screwing up your life with all the 
problems from my past?"
	He shook his head. "No. For loving me. And trusting me. And giving 
me the best family a man could ever hope for. I love you, Nat...." And he kissed 
her again.
	Reluctantly, they separated. "I'd better get my stuff," she said, giving 
him one last hug. "I'll be right down."
	Natalie grabbed her bag, nudged Richie along, and went to find Niki. 
The girl was having the hardest time fitting her most prized posessions into one 
tiny bag. "Niki, we'll buy all new stuff," she promised her. "The first thing we'll 
do when we get settled is go shopping. Only bring what you packed, the stuff 
you can't replace. Just hurry, please!" 
	Nicolette nodded, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "Okay, I'm 
ready."
	Natalie smiled, and turned to find her son....
	Suddenly, glass breaking. A whisk of wind. Muffled voices. Steven 
shouting....
	"Niki, get your brother and stay right here, no matter what!" Natalie 
cried as she ran down the stairs at the speed of light....
	Her pounding heart rose into her throat, nearly strangling her. She tried 
to scream, but her voice was lost in her fear.
	Her horror.
	Her grief.
	At the foot of the stairs, Steven lay still, pale as winter snow. His eyes, 
still open, transfixed in the terror and confusion of his last moments, were devoid 
of life.  
	"No..." she mouthed silently, as she knelt beside him. She felt in vain 
for the pulse that she knew wouldn't be there, then with shaking hands closed 
his eyes, cradling his head in her arms. "Steven, " she wept. And then, as the rage 
welled up inside her, her sob grew in intensity until it was a scream aimed at the 
heavens.  "No...no...no...NO!"
	She looked around, as fear for her children kicked in. Everything was a 
blur of tears. But she was still alone. At least, there was no one downstairs...
	"Niki!" she cried. "Bring Richie and come down here! Now, baby, 
now!"
	And she rose to meet them as they ran down, Nicolette holding her 
brother in her arms, her eyes opened wide as she saw Steven's lifeless body. 
"Daddy!" she shrieked, and tried to rush to him. But Natalie held her back. She 
didn't want them to see this. But she couldn't leave them alone either. Someone 
could be stalking them right now, watching their every move...
	"Mommy, what happened to Daddy?" Richie wailed in fear.
	"What happened?!" Nicolette cried, while Richie began to howl.
	"He's gone," Natalie sobbed, holding them tightly. "Daddy's gone..."
	For a long moment she clutched at them, as if afraid to let go. What 
was she going to do? Her maternal instinct told her to take them and run like 
hell. But whoever had done this could catch them if he wanted to. And she 
wouldn't, she couldn't, leave Steven like this....
	She thought she would lose her mind. Only the two children in her 
arms snapped her into a temporary sense of reason. She had to think quickly. She 
needed help. This was one time she could not  handle it on her own.
	She released Niki, who'd fallen into a quiet state of shock. "Sweetie, 
get me the phone, please," she told her. And as she held Richie in one arm, she 
reached with the other for her pocketbook that had fallen on the floor, fumbling 
for the number that she'd written down just in case....
	She dialed, waiting impatiently as it rang and rang. She didn't want to 
do this. It went against her grain. But she had nowhere to turn. And she had to 
seek out help before her sorrow immobilized her. If it hadn't been for the 
children, it would have already. Finally, a woman's voice answered.
	"Janette...this is Natalie," she said in a voice barely above a whimper. 
"I need your help...please..." And she broke down crying before she could hear 
the response.


	Janette had heard the desperation in Natalie's voice, and immediately 
thought the worst. No matter what competition she and Natalie had once shared 
over Nick, Janette had always admired the mortal woman for her courage, her 
strength. Janette feared to think of what could have caused her to so totally fall 
apart.
	She'd managed to get their address, and had promised to be there at 
once. Grabbing the bottle she'd been about to open and throwing it into her deep 
coat pocket, she flew into the night.

	Natalie put down the phone, still holding her son tightly in her arms as 
she sat at the foot of the steps, by Steven's body. Nicolette was kneeling over 
him, still shaking his arm, listening to his heart, refusing to believe that he was 
dead.
	"He's gone, Niki," her mother said gently. 
	"But why? What killed him? Who--?"
	Suddenly she saw what Natalie had known was there. The tell-tale 
wounds on his neck.
	A fury rose up in Nicolette that Natalie had never before seen. "It was 
one of *them*?!" she cried in disbelief. And in horror, Natalie watched as her 
daughter's anger brought flecks of gold to her eyes.
	But they were washed away in little girl tears, as a sudden, awful 
realization hit her. "Oh my God, this is all my fault..." she cried. "They were after 
me and they killed Daddy!"
	"No, Niki," Natalie told her as sternly as she could muster. "Baby, no, 
this isn't your fault--"
	"What if they come back?" she sobbed, looking around her, suddenly  
afraid. She moved closer to her mother. "Mommy, I'm scared!"
	"It'll be okay," Natalie promised, drawing her near and kissing her 
cheek.
For a few moments she held them both close, drawing strength from them even in 
her need to comfort them. She tried desperately to concentrate on Nicolette and 
Richard, pointedly looking away from Steven's still form. If she looked at him, 
saw him lying there, she would lose it again.
	Richard suddenly pulled himself away from her, turning to run to his 
father's body. It was as if the sight of Steven's lifeless form, and the cries of his 
mother and sister, had not been enough. He had to see for himself. Natalie's 
heart flew up to her throat once more as she watched her small son tugging 
frantically at his father's arm. "Daddy, wake up. Wake up, please!"
	She came up behind him, putting her arms around him, and 
whispereing in his ear, "Daddy can't wake up, sweetie. He went away. He died..."
	"No!" Richie wailed. He knew what death was. Natalie had explained 
it to him when they'd watched The Lion King, and Simba's father had died. But 
to a four year old who'd never really known death, understanding conceptually 
and seeing your father lying dead before you were different matters entirely.
	Richard buried himself in her arms once more, and she looked over to 
Nicolette, who was sitting silently on the foot of the stairs, staring at Steven as if 
in a daze. "What are we gonna do?" she asked in a tiny voice without even 
looking at her mother.
	"Niki, listen to me. It'll be okay. But I need your help. Get me my bag, 
please." 
	Nicolette obeyed, picking up her mother's pocketbook and handing it 
to her. Natalie searched through everything until she found it--
	"A gun?" Nicolette's mouth opened wide. "Where--?"
	"Nick gave it to me," she told her.  "In case we'd ever have to protect 
ourselves against vampires."
	"But bullets can't--"
	"They're wooden," she explained, checking to make sure everything 
was intact. God, if only her hands would stop shaking. "Look, Niki, if anything 
ever happens to me, I want you to know how to use this. This is the safety--"
	"Mommy--"
	Natalie realized she was frightening her even more. "Niki, nothing's 
going to happen to me. But I just want you to know how to protect yourself--"
	A noise outside drew their attention. Someone was there. Nicolette hid 
behing her mother, and Natalie aimed the gun with a trembling hand as a figure 
plunged through the window.... 


	Janette saw the shattered window and knew at once what must have 
happened. She didn't bother with the door, flying through the broken glass.
	She gasped as she saw them. Natalie's husband, lifeless on the floor. 
And Natalie, shaking with fear, clutching at her children as she pointed a gun in 
expectation.
	"Natalie, it's me!"she cried.
	She could see Natalie heave a visible sigh of relief as she slipped the 
gun back into her pocket. "It's okay," she told the children as she rose. "She's 
our friend."
	"Oh Natalie, I'm so sorry," Janette said with feeling, walking towards 
them. The agony on Natalie's face was all too familiar, and brought Robert's 
death, her own anguish,  flooding back to her. Her heart could not help but go 
out to Natalie right now. She had lived htis herself, not long ago.
	"Get away from her!"
	Janette and Natalie both turned in shock to see Nicolette, her eyes 
blazing gold. She'd grabbed the gun from her mother's pocket and was aiming it 
straight at Janette.
	"Niki, no!" Natalie shouted.  "Janette's our friend; she's here to help 
us!"
	"Can't you see she's one of *them*?!" her daughter yelled frantically, 
her face hot with tears, waving the weapon in Janette's direction.  "How do you 
know she didn't kill Daddy? She saw us last night at the restaurant! Maybe she's 
here to kill us now!"
	"Niki, it's not true! Give me the gun, *right now*!"
	No one had to tell Janette that the gun contained wooden bullets.  
She'd seen it in Nick's apartment; he had kept it for protection against LaCroix 
long ago.. Janette knew it wouldn't kill her, but she didn't think Natalie was 
exactly in any condition to dig wooden fragments from her chest. She could 
easily swoop over and grab the gun from the girl, but she didn't want to frighten 
her. And then there was that anxious feeling, that dread that  the young dhampir 
seemed to instill in her.  The mutual fear and distrust  were instinctual. She'd 
have to resist it, overcome it,  if she were to help them.
	  "Nicolette, listen to me," she told the girl calmly. "Your mother is 
right. I am your friend, and I'm only here to help--"
	"But you're a vampire! Like the one that killed Daddy!"
	"I'm a vampire like your father, and I'm his friend, as well as your 
mother's. I wouldn't hurt any of you," she said steadily,  stepping cautiously 
closer. "Nicolette, what you're feeling right now is part of your nature. Your 
anger and grief has brought it out. You fear me because I'm a vampire; it's your 
instinct. But I swear to you that I'm only here to help. Please, give your mother 
the gun."
	She didn't try to hypnotize her. Nicolette was part-vampire, and as 
such, immune. But her soothing voice had convinced the girl, at least long 
enough for Natalie to take the gun from her and put it safely away. 
	"It's okay, Niki," her mother said tenderly, putting an arm around her 
and kissing her cheek.  The gold had faded from her eyes, and Natalie eased her 
onto a couch next to her brother, who had been watching everything in silent 
terror. "Janette, I'm sorry," she apologized, walking over to her.
	"It's all right; she can't help it," Janette said, touching her arm. 
"Natalie, we've got to get you all out of here. As soon as possible. Tonight."
	"No," she whispered. "I want you to help him."
	Janette's mouth dropped open. She hadn't expected this from Natalie, 
not in a million years.
	Natalie made her meaning clear, measuring every word. "I want you to 
bring him across."


	She held her breath, waiting for Janette to respond. She had to 
understand! Hadn't she tried to do the same for Robert? Hadn't Nick brought her 
back across because he couldn't bear to see her die?  "Janette, please! You know 
what I'm feeling. I know you do. He doesn't deserve to die! You're the only one 
who can save him..." She was crying now, unabashed. She didn't care. Janette 
had to help her. She had to bring him back!
	Janette nodded slowly, as a look of empathy passed between them. 
Natalie watched as the vampire bent down to rest her hand on Steven's still heart, 
closing her eyes to sense whatever life essence was left in him...
	But there was none.
	"It's too late," Janette said sadly, shaking her head. "Natalie, I'm sorry. 
But whoever did this, drained him completely."
	"You've got to do something!" she cried, her tears almost blinding her.
"Please, Janette, I'm begging you..."
	"I'm sorry," she said again,  looking into Natalie's devastated eyes. "I 
truly am. I know what you're feeling, but there's nothing I can do."
	"No..." she whispered,her eyes dropping down to Steven's beautiful 
face, her hand brushing against his cheek. He was cold, so cold. Janette was only 
telling her what the doctor in her already knew, but the woman in her could not 
accept.
	He was dead.   
	She bent down to kiss his lips. "Oh, Steven..." she sobbed. Her last 
hope of saving him was extinguished, and with it, all self-control. Janette was 
there; she would safeguard the kids. And Natalie gave in to her grief, weeping 
bitterly over her husband's body. This was it. The end. She had fought tooth and 
nail, tried to be strong, to survive... But this was too much. Her strength was 
gone. Her resolve was gone.
	Steven was gone.
	How would she go on?
	For what seemed like an eternity she cried, until there were no tears 
left to fall. Suddenly she was aware of a small hand on her shoulder.
	"Mommy?"
	She looked up into Richard's frightened eyes, and wiped the last tears 
from her cheek as she rose to hug him tightly. She looked over to Nicolette, who 
joined in the embrace. And she knew that her own sorrow would have to wait. 
Her children, her only reason for going on now, needed her. She would grieve 
later.
	She looked over Nicolette's shoulder to Janette, who was waiting 
patiently, allowing them the time they needed as a family. "What now?" she 
asked quietly, quite willing to let Janette call the shots on this one.
	"I've called a coroner--a friend--who will make sure  no unpleasant 
questions are asked," Janette replied.
	How ironic, Natalie thought. How many deaths had she covered for the 
good of "the community"? But this went deeper than that, she knew. Keeping the 
cause of Steven's death a secret from not just the human authorities, but the 
vampire ones as well, was the only way to guarantee Nicolette's safety.
	"Then we've got to find a safe way to get you out of here," Janette 
added.
	"I've already called Aristotle," Natalie told her emotionlessly. "We 
were going to leave tonight."
	Janette was silent, taking in the tragic twist of fate and timing. Finally 
she said, "You still can. I can wait here until everything's taken care of."
	Natalie shook her head. "No. I can't leave him...like this. Not until 
he's buried properly. I owe that much to him." At Janette's dubious expression, 
she asked, "Do you think I'm pressing my luck? Staying here any longer, I 
mean?"
	Janette thought a moment before responding. "No. To be quite honest, 
Natalie, I don't think this attack had anything to do with Nicolette."
	"Yes it did," the girl told her, breaking into their conversation. "They 
were after me."
	"I don't think so," Janette told her. "If the Enforcers had been here, or 
anyone else out to get you..." She paused, trying to find a delicate way to say it. 
"I don't think they would have stopped at your step-father."
	"Then who?" Natalie asked.
	Janette shrugged. "I don't know. Some renegade, perhaps. In any case, 
I understand  why you want to stay. You can arrange for a wake tomorrow, and a 
funeral early Thursday morning. That way, you can escape by daylight on 
Thursday. In any case, I'll stay with you until then," she promised.  "If it is some 
young renegade, then at least I can protect you."
	Nicolette looked up at her mother, obviously not certain if she would 
let a vampire stay under their roof. But Janette's offer was more than generous--it 
would solve all Natalie's problems. She could fulfill her obligations to Steven 
without worrying that she was endangering her children by doing so. 
	"Janette, thank you. I don't know what to say." Her gratitude was 
heartfelt. 
	Janette gave a slight smile. "Just say you have dark blinds somewhere 
in this house." Her expression grew serious. "They will be here soon. You must 
get Nicolette upstairs, so that they don't see her."
	"Won't they sense her?" Natalie asked in sudden alarm.
	"No. I didn't until we were face to face. It's not strong enough yet."
	The doorbell rang, shaking them all. Natalie motioned for Nicolette to 
take Richard upstairs, and waited until they were out of sight before opening the 
door. Suddenly a familiar scene was alive in her living room. Only the coroner 
was a young man who seemed older than his years and very pale...
	Out of the corner of her eye she saw another young vampire arrive with 
two huge cartons for the coroner, out of which Janette discreetly slipped four 
wine bottles for herself....

	Natalie watched as Steven's body was neatly bagged and taken away. 
And she wondered how she had remained dispassionate all those years, 
examining dead bodies so clinically, almost forgetting that each one had left 
behind sorrow like hers. How many of them had been husbands, fathers, like 
Steven? How many had left behind a four year old son like Richard?
	As if sensing her thoughts as they went up to check on the children, 
Janette said quietly, "You know, no four year old child should have memories of 
such horror..."
	Natalie caught her meaning immediately, and nodded her permission.
	Janette sat on the bed, looking into Richie's sad eyes...
	"What is she going to do to him?" Nicolette asked her mother, 
suddenly worried. 
	"It's okay," Natalie told her. "Just watch, sweetie."
	Janette gently touched his temple, her face reflecting all the pain she 
could sense in him. "You saw nothing tonight, Richie. You went to sleep, and 
when you woke up, your Mommy told you that your Daddy had died. He went 
away, Richie. He's at peace. He is with God."
	Richie nodded slowly, closing his eyes. Janette lay his head on the 
pillow, covering him with the light blanket, and tucking him in.  
	Natalie sighed with tears of relief. "Thank you," she said gratefully. He 
had lost his father. But at least he would be spared the trauma of all he had seen.
	Nicolette just looked on in wonder.

	Later, Janette sat alone in the family's living room, where not long ago 
Steven's dead body had lain. She'd gone through two bottles of blood, forcing 
herself to drink more than she desired. She needed her strength. If the deviant 
who had broken the Code in so irreverant a manner were to return, she'd have to 
be ready to fight him. 
	The evening had taken its toll on her. Her perfect vampiric memory 
would not allow her to forget Robert's death. The details, the emotions, the 
anguish--each time she thought of it, she relived it. And seeing Natalie's agony, 
and that of her children, had brought her own pain flooding back to her. She 
*had* to help them. Not just for Nicolas, or for the friendship she and Natalie 
had developed in spite of themselves over the years--but for herself. In easing 
Natalie's suffering, perhaps she could ease her own.
	She'd finally convinced Natalie to get some sleep after the children 
had both been put to bed. And now, as she sat watch over them, she knew there 
was one more thing she could do to end the suffering. For Natalie...and for Nick.
	She picked up the phone. Natalie would likely be furious with 
her...but Janette knew that fate dictated no other course....
	And Nicolas would find his first peace in thirteen years. 
	For that alone she had to do it.


	He awoke from a nightmare he couldn't remember, to find that night 
had long ago fallen. Night and day had become so confused in the last few years! 
Ever since he'd left Toronto for this secluded house deep in the Rockies, he'd 
spent most of his nights locked away from civilization. Only his need for blood 
had taken him into Denver from time to time. It was difficult to be around 
people; pleasantries and social interraction were necessities he'd rather not deal 
with. it was much easier to be alone.
	If anything about his existence were easy these days.
	Only the blood-induced stupor and sleep that followed allowed him 
any modicum of peace. Yet from time to time, even that would be disturbed by 
the dreams. Dreams of desire, longing, frustration, and fear. And he would 
awake, as he awkened almost every day, with that sick feeling in the pit of his 
stomach, the anxiousness and depression that had plagued him for thirteen years, 
with the burning questions to which he might never know the answers.
	Where was Natalie? 
	Where was their child?
	He stumbled to the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of cow's blood, and 
ripped the cork out with his mouth. And as he drank, it slowly satisfied the 
hunger for blood...
	...but not the desire for answers. For *her*. That was a thirst he knew 
might never be assuaged. And the thought of an eternity without her, an eternity 
with this pain, was unbearable. Only the hope of seeing her again had kept him 
from ending his life. But he knew that as the years passed and the possibility 
became more remote, he would give in to his misery. He'd have to. He couldn't 
go on with this much longer.
	He lay back down, torturing himself once more with the memory. Their 
final days together. The taste of her lips, the scent of her skin, the sound of her 
voice. The beautiful sensations of their lovemaking. The completeness of being 
inside her warmth. The joy of holding her in his arms. The sound of their child's 
heartbeat as he sensed it growing within her....
	Saying good-bye. He had begged her not to go, though in his heart he 
knew it had been the only way. Yet despite all reason, he had still waited, hoping 
that she too would change her mind, throw logic to the wind, and come back to 
him. But he knew that if she had, their baby would have suffered. The thought of 
her safe somewhere today, with their child flourishing, was the only comfort he 
knew. For his heart, his very soul, had been ripped away from him on that day. 
And as he suffered her loss, grieved her even now, he knew with more certainty 
than ever that he had never loved anyone as he loved her. 
	His eyes snapped open and he went back to the refrigerator. The cow's 
blood wasn't doing it today. For some reason, the past two days had been more 
difficult than usual. Perhaps it was because he'd turned on the news yesterday, 
and seen the date. Natalie's birthday. That alone brought a plethora of memories 
rushing back to him. The day they'd met, the day that had inexorably changed 
their lives forever. The day he'd hurt her, two years later, when he'd forgotten, 
when his insensitivity had pushed her into the arms of a man who had nearly 
killed her. How much he had  hurt her over the years, with his inability to see 
what was happening between them, to accept it and work at it... His own fear of 
hurting her had injured her emotionally, as he'd avoided her, mistreated her...and 
gone to Janette in his frustration over not being able to have her. What a waste of 
precious time! If only he'd known how short their time would be...perhaps he 
would have lived to the fullest every moment he'd had with her.
	Only the human blood would drown his regrets right now. And though 
he knew that no one had been murdered for this, he still felt a pang of guilt as he 
drank it down. But he'd discovered shortly after she'd gone from his life that he 
needed it, physically and emotionally, to survive...even if it undermined what she 
had tried to do with him for all those years....

	*He barely moved from his chair as LaCroix walked towards him. He 
looked up only after his master had sat across from him, a concerned, though 
curious, expression on his face.
	"Drowning our sorrows, are we Nicholas?" he asked knowingly.
	Nick looked down. "Really, LaCroix, I'm not in the mood."
	"Actually, I was quite surprised to see that your doctor friend had left 
town. You seemed to be getting on so well together."
	Nick glared at him. "No thanks to you."
	"Oh, on the contrary, Nicholas. You owe me a great deal of gratitude. 
For releasing you of your vow to me...and permitting you to have your dalliance 
with your little mortal."
	"It was no dalliance," he snapped. "I loved her. I *love* her as I've 
never loved any other woman." It was pointless to hide that now. LaCroix was no 
longer a threat to Nat.
	"I know," LaCroix said with the slightest hint of compassion. "Why do 
you think I turned my back?"
	Nick said nothing. He knew that LaCroix had had the power to take 
Natalie from him at any moment. And after that fateful night at Azure, he had 
pointedly avoided Natalie to keep up the charade of his indifference. But for 
whatever reason, LaCroix *had* let it be known that he'd known all along that 
Nick had lied through his teeth--but that he would interfere no more.  It was the 
only thing that had given Nick the nerve to pursue his relationship with her once 
more. Yet he'd never understood the reason for LaCroix's change of heart.
	"I liked her actually," LaCroix admitted, as if in answer to his 
question.  "I *respected* her courage, her strength, her intelligence...and she was 
really quite beautiful. I knew you loved her...and despite your ridiculous quest to 
become mortal, she did make you happy. Besides," he confided, "I did owe her a 
debt of gratitude for finding the cure to that plague that would have destroyed us 
all."
	Nick was silent, taken aback for a moment by LaCroix's admission. It 
was more sincerity than he'd seen him display in quite some time. And he 
realized that what he'd always suspected was true. That although Nick had 
prevented LaCroix from bringing Fleur across, the love LaCroix had felt for her 
had softened his cold heart. He hadn't killed Natalie that night, he'd let Nick off 
the hook, not because he believed that Nick didn't love her, but because he 
believed that he did. And no need for revenge would bring him to senselessly 
destroy Nick's happiness.
	"Well, then I do thank you," Nick said with the antagonism gone from 
his voice. "It was the only happiness I've known in eight hundred years."
	LaCroix regarded him for a moment as Nick took another gulp of the 
blood. Finally, he asked, "So why did she leave, Nicholas?"
	Nick tried to hide his fear that LaCroix would guess the truth. He 
simply replied, "It was time...for her to go on with her life. I couldn't give her 
what she needed."
	LaCroix did not seem satisfied at that, but pressed no further. Instead 
he reached for a bottle from his coat pocket. Nick didn't have to ask what it was. 
He knew.
	Human blood.
	"A toast then to your new-found independence?" LaCroix suggested. 
When Nick hesitated he added, "Or perhaps just to east the pain?"
	Nick nearly grabbed the bottle from him, and drank it down, relishing 
the taste and the momentary escape it provided...*

	The escape had become far more fleeting. But it helped.
	LaCroix had basically left him alone after that day. And when Nick 
had moved on, they'd gone their separate ways. LaCroix had found him, of 
course--he always did. But his visits were few and far between. And though from 
time to time, he'd berated Nick for his unwillingness to pull himself from his 
despair, he'd respected it for the most part, as well as his desire to be left to 
himself. Nick was glad though that he'd secretly purchased his latest bit of 
property. No one would be able to trace him there, and he could truly isolate 
himself from everyone and everything.
	Only Aristotle would be told of his location. Just in case someday 
Natalie did try to find him...
	Yet he'd come to think that that day might never come. And Aristotle 
was immovable as ever in his refusal to tell Nick where she was. In the 
beginning, he'd gone to him at least once a month, begging him for some 
information, anything that would help him find her. But Aristotle had 
characteristically refused, reminding him of the rules, and the fact that his silence 
and discretion  were probably the only things  that would keep Natalie, and her 
baby, safe. Nick had known this was true, but still called from time to time 
hoping that she had been trying to contact him. Aristotle had promised to call if 
she did. But that call had never come.
	As if on cue, the phone  rang, and he nearly jumped out of his skin as 
it broke his reverie. No one ever called him. 
	"Hello?"
	"Oh Nicolas, thank goodness you're there!"
	"Janette?" he rarely heard from her, and the alarm in her voice worried 
him. "What is it? is somehting wrong?"
	"You've got to come to L.A. right away," she told him. "It's Natalie."
	His entire body tensed. "Natalie?" he whispered. "You've seen her? Is 
she all right? Where is she?"
	"She's fine," Janette assured him, then after a pause added, "And so is 
your daughter."
	Nick felt as if his heart had suddenly grown warm. "Daughter?" he 
asked with emotion in his voice.  "Janette, you've met her?"
	"She's a lovely child, Nick," she told him warmly. "And she looks just 
like you."
	He hesitated, taking this all in, then asked the inevitable. "Is she...a 
dhampir? Could you sense her?"
	"Yes, " Janette told him. "And so will every vampire in town if they 
don't leave immediately. They need your help, Nick. I'm staying with them right 
now, to protect them, but she's palnning on leaving town the day after tomorrow-
-"
	"I'll be right there," he broke in, already throwing some things into a 
bag as he spoke to her. "Just tell me where you are."
	"Nick, listen to me. A lot has been going on here. Things I have to 
explain to you before you see her. She doesn't even know I'm calling--"
	"What's going on, Janette?" he insisted, suddenly worried. "Are you 
sure they're all right?"
	"Yes, but they're in danger. And I must speak to you before you see 
her."
	He knew it was pointless to push her for more information. "I can be 
there by morning," he said.
	"You're travelling by day?" she asked in surprise.
	But his plan was already taking shape. "I will be."
	She breathed deeply, as if trying to think. "All right, then come here 
between two and four in the afternoon. She'll be out of the house then. We can 
speak before she gets home."
	He wrote down the address as she told it to him, and paused. "Janette, 
are you sure you can't tell me more? Why doesn't she know you're calling me? 
Has something happened?" Couldn't she hear his desperation?
	"Nick, we'll talk about it tomorrow. But I promise you, they're both 
perfectly safe. Just get here between two and four, all right?"
	"Okay," he relented. He was anxious to get underway anyway. The 
sooner he left...the sooner he would see them. "Janette," he said with feeling, 
"Thank you. Thank you so much. You don't know what this--" his voice trailed 
off.
	"Yes I do, Nicolas," she said tenderly, "Take care, and I'll see you 
tomorrow."
	He hung up the phone, paused a moment as his emotions overwhelmed 
him. He picked up the picture of her he alway kept by the bed, and tears of joy 
found their way to his eyes. "Not long now, my love," he whispered. "And we'll 
be together. Forever this time."
	He collected himself, and threw  a few things  into a bag. Change of 
clothes, wallet , cash, phone book, his silver pill box, some photos. He could 
leave everything else behind. Nothing else mattered right now. His future lie 
ahead. And with Natalie and his child--his daughter--in his future, he desired 
nothing more. 
	He hesitated, wondering if he should take a bottle of blood with him, 
then decided against it.
	He wouldn't be needing any more.


	
	Janette hung up the phone, and sat deep in thought. She had done the 
right thing, she knew. Natalie and her children needed Nick, in more ways than 
one. But how would she tell Nick everyhting she must? That things between him 
and Natalie could not automatically go back to what they had been. That she had 
loved someone else, and that even though Steven was dead, Natalie would need 
time to heal. Patience was not one of Nick's greater virtues. He had longed for 
Natalie, dreamed about being with her again, for so long. Janette knew that he 
would be hurt to know that Natalie had gone on with her life. Eventually he 
would understand, and they would be able to move on. Janette was sure of that. 
But the beginning would be difficult. And she hated being the one to have to tell 
him.
	But she had to. Just as she had to warn him that Nicolette might not be 
as thrilled to see  him as he would her...
	Suddenly, her senses were assaulted by a presence...and  an 
inexplicable feeling of dread. Footsteps behind her... Janette started, and swung 
around.
	...to see Nicolette standing behind her.	
	"I'm sorry," the little girl stammered. "I didn't mean to startle you."
	Janette heaved a sigh of relief and gave her a reassuring  smile. "That's 
all right. I'm just a bit jumpy tonight." She sat on the couch. "Shouldn't you be 
asleep? You've had a rough night. And tomorrow will be very tiring. You need 
your rest."
	Nicolette sighed. "I can't sleep," she said, and stood looking at Janette 
as if she had something to say but didn't know how to begin.
	"Would you like to sit down...and talk?" Janette asked, making a 
conscious effort to ignore the unpleasant sensation that the young girl's nature, 
her very presence, incited in her.
	"Do you mind?" she asked meekly. And in her innocence, in her blue 
eyes, Janette could see so much of Nick's gentler side. 
	She smiled warmly. "Not at all, Nicolette." She motioned for her to sit 
down. "Do you have something in particular on your mind? Any...questions?"
	"A lot, actually," she admitted after a moment. "But most of them are 
about things I don't want to think about right now."
	Janette nodded her understanding. Under different circumstances, there 
were so many things she would want to tell this child--about her father, about her 
nature--but in the wake of her step-father's death, none of these were things that 
should be addressed as yet. It didn't seem appropriate. "When you're ready," 
Janette said simply.
	"Thanks. I guess I really just wanted to say I'm sorry. For the gun. For 
being so nasty to you--"
	"It's all right. I understand. And there's no need to apologize," she 
said kindly.  "You were in shock, and rightfully so. And if I were you, I would be 
angry too. I probably wouldn't have acted any differently."
	"Really?"
	"Niki, you've learned a lot of disturbing things in the past twenty-four 
hours--about your father, yourself, and what you are. And you've had a terrible 
tragedy.  But your mother and father are both very strong, and so are you. And 
you will get through this." Janette saw her lower her eyes at the mention of Nick, 
and decided it probably would have been best not to speak of him. But he would 
be there tomorrow, and she wanted to prepare his daughter for the meeting. 
	"Not all vampires are monsters, you know," she said with meaning.
	"Oh, I realize that," Niki assured her, caught a bit off-guard by 
Janette's candor. "That's the other thing I wanted to tell you. What you did for 
Richie...it was so compassionate. I realized then that you really just wanted to 
help us. And I felt really bad about the way I'd acted. I'm really sorry," she said 
again. "I hope...we can become friends now."
	Janette squeezed her hand. "We already are."
	Nicolette smiled, visibly relieved.  It was then that she noticed 
Janette's glass. Janette had pointedly not drunk in front of her, but hadn't had 
time to hide the bottle and wine glass. Nicolette made a face. "Is that blood?"
	"Mixed with wine," Janette told her matter-of-factly. 
	The girl crinkled up her nose in disgust. "Yuck. Where does it come 
from?"
	"Oh, I have various sources. This is from a hospital. No one died for 
this, I assure you." She took a sip from the glass. She might as well. Niki would  
see her father do it soon enough. Better she should be used to it.
	Nicolette made a face but watched intently. Suddenly, her face paled  
as a thought occurred to her. "Janette, can I ask you something?'
	"Whatever you want."
	"Do you...I mean have you..." She was too afraid to finish her thought 
aloud.
	"Do I kill people for blood?" Janette voiced, making it easier for her. 
Nicolette nodded timidly and she replied, "No. Not any more. But have I in the 
past? Yes." Damn Nicolas! His guilty conscience had rubbed off on her over the 
centuries, and for the first time, in front of Nick's daughter, she felt ashamed to 
admit it.
	Nicolette said nothing; instead she looked away towards the spot 
where Steven had been struck down.
	"Nicolette, listen to me, " Janette said, and the girl's head snapped 
back to look at the her, her eyes filling with tears. "Vampires need blood to 
survive. But most of us find other ways to obtain it. The vampire who killed your 
step-father was not one of the Community here. This wasn't an act of hunger or 
necessity, but one of cold-blooded hatred and violence. Whoever did this broke 
our Code of discretion and secrecy by committing such an open and senseless 
murder. He will be punished."
	"You really don't think this had to do with me?" she whispered.
	"No. I told you before. If they had meant to come after you, you would 
be dead right now." It was harsher than she'd wanted to put it, but she had to 
help Nicolette to overcome this senseless guilt.
	Nicolette looked down. "I still feel as if it's my fault."
	This was Nick's child all right. "You and your father share a 
propensity for feeling guilty when you shouldn't," she observed. But she knew at 
once that she had pressed too far in mentioning Nick again.
	"I don't want to talk about him," the girl said firmly, rising angrily.
	"Why, Niki?" Janette asked gently. "If only you knew how much he 
has longed to meet you. How much he loves you."
	"I don't care, Janette. I can accept you and what you are. And I know 
you're trying to help us. But it's *his* fault that I am what I am, and it's my fault 
that Daddy's dead. I just don't want anything to do with him. Ever!" Tears were 
falling down her cheeks as she strode toward the staircase.
	"Nicolette, please, wait!" Janette called, standing to go after her.
	Niki turned to her. "This has nothing to do with you. All I wanted to 
do was tell you I was sorry. But I want to be alone right now. So good-night." 
And she ran up the stairs.
	Janette took a deep breath, collapsed back on the couch and picked up 
her glass. "Damn!" she cursed to herself. And as she heard Nicolette crying 
softly into her pillow, she wished she had handled the conversation differently. 
But she didn't even know what she could possibly say to make things better. 
	Tomorrow would not be an easy day.


	Nick drove into the Emergency Room exit just as the sky was 
beginning to turn a sapphire blue. He barely noticed the people he passed on his 
way through the familiar corridors of the hospital. For the past five years he'd 
come here for his "supplies". But there was something much different he needed 
right now.
	He found Barbara working in her lab as usual. The pretty young doctor 
had surprised him four years ago on one of his midnight raids. But rather than be 
repulsed by his vampiric state, she'd found it fascinating. In exchange for a 
sample of his blood to experiment upon, she'd gladly provided him periodically  
with bags of hemoglobin. 
	It wasn't difficult--her husband Phil was in charge of the blood bank.
	The couple were probably his only friends in Denver. And he was 
counting on their friendship now. His daughter's life might depend on it.
	"Run out already?" she asked cheerily as she saw him.
	"No. But something has come up, and I'm going to have to leave 
town."
	She sighed. "I wish you could take a cure with you. But I can't get the 
leitovuterine-C to work for more than an extended period of time before the 
retrovirus mutates. Then it's back to Square One."
	"I know," he said sadly. "But I appreciate your trying." He had told her 
of the temporary cure, hoping that she could perfect it. And when she had failed 
to do so, it had only added to his despair. It had been his only hope of being able 
to be reunited with Natalie.
	But for now, any cure, even a temporary one, would do.
	"I have one last favor to ask you, Barbara. I need a good supply of the 
Leitovuterine-C."
	Barbara looked at him with concern. "You know it won't last long. 
We've talked about this. Even if you try to take it as a maintenance drug, the 
effectiveness between doses will keep decreasing  until it has no effect at all."
	"I know," he told her. "But it could mean saving the life of someone 
who is very important to me. I'm begging you. I don't have much time--"
	"Okay, Nick. I guess you're old enough to know what you're doing."
	He smiled. "Not always. But in this case, I do."
	She put in the call, and as they waited they made small talk. He'd 
never been able to confide in the couple very much of his past. They knew 
nothing of  LaCroix, Natalie...or his child. Somehow it hurt him too deeply to 
speak of it. They'd respected his privacy. But now, as he was preparing to leave, 
Barbara couldn't hold back the one question that had troubled her.
	"Just one thing I always wanted to know, Nick. That ring you wear on 
your ring finger. It looks like a wedding band. Do you have a wife?"
	She must have seen the sorrow in his eyes, because she quickly said, 
"I'm sorry, if it's too personal--"
	"No, that's okay," he told her. "No, we were never married. But I love 
her very much. We just couldn't be together."
	At that moment, an orderly brought a package which she quickly 
checked out, then handed to him. "Well, then, I hope this helps bring you 
together," she said with a knowing smile.
	"I hope so too," he replied wistfully.


	Natalie stood staring at Steven's casket, oblivious to the people who 
swarmed around her.  She'd done her duty, graciously accepting their 
sympathies, hugging and kissing this or that relative of Steven's, giving a 
perfunctory greeting to his many friends. But each person who repeated what a 
shock this had been, or asked once more what he had died from, or had he shown 
any signs of heart trouble, or why didn't the ambulance come on time, brought 
her one step closer to falling from the precipice upon which her sanity was 
precariously balanced. Thank God for Nicolette, who stood by her side, 
responding from time to time when she no longer had the strength to do so. The 
worst was facing Steven's parents, who had always been too deliberate in their 
attempts to make Niki feel like one of their "real" grandchildren. Her mother-n-
law asked if she'd like them to take the kids for a few days, but she'd responded 
that she wanted to keep them close to her. That was the truth, after all. But there 
was no way she could tell them that tomorrow morning would be the last time 
they would see any of them again.
	She felt guilty for that, as she did so many things. But Nicolette's life 
was at stake. Janette's handiwork in covering the circumstances of Steven's death 
had not obscured the danger. If she could leave right now, she would. But as she 
stared now at Steven's still form, she knew that she couldn't leave, no matter 
what the risk.
	He'd died for them. And she would see him buried before she went 
anywhere.
	The last of the guests had gone, and they were alone now as a family. 
She stepped up to the casket, gently laying her hand on  his clasped ones. "I love 
you, Steven," she whispered, feeling the tears about to burst. "And I'm so 
sorry..."
	She cried over him until she felt Nicolette's hand on her shoulder, and 
felt Richie take her hand. She turned to hug them tightly, and walked away with 
her arms around them both.


	He found the address easily enough, though the bright afternoon sun 
was hurting his eyes. It was a beautiful house, idyllic almost, shaded under one 
of the huge palm trees that lined the street. He checked his watch. Three-thirty. 
He rang the bell, feeling his heart pump blood just a little faster...
	"Come in, Nicolas!' he heard Janette call. He tried the door, and 
pushed it open.
	Inside it was dark, with the curtains and vertical blinds drawn to  
prevent the light from shining through. As he closed the door, shutting out the 
brilliant sunlight, Janette came to meet him.
	"It's been a long time," she said as he gave her a light kiss on the lips.
	"Too long," he said, as he held her for a moment in a warm embrace. 
	"You'll forgive me for not answering the door," she said with a smile." 
I see sunlight isn't bothering you these days. The leitovuterine again?"
	He nodded. "And I have a big enough supply to last for months."
	"You just may need it," she said.  "It apparently works well; I didn't 
even sense you."
	"I'm hoping LaCroix won't either," he said dryly. Then his impatience 
got the better of him. "Okay, now will you please tell me what's going on?" He 
glanced around the house anxiously. "And where are they?"
	
	Janette took a deep breath. She hadn't slept much this morning, 
planning exactly what she would say. She was hoping for more success than 
she'd had with Nicolette. There was so much excitement in him, more life than 
she'd seen in thirteen years. And it had nothing to do with the drug. He had hope 
again. Something he had lost with Natalie.
	It was that hope that she feared she would dash when she told him 
what she must.
	"Nick, there's no easy way to tell you this."
	"Then just say it," he said in a low voice, lines of worry coming to his 
face.
	"About two years after your daughter was born, Natalie met a man 
named Steven. She married him, Nick."

	Nick felt as if Janette had kicked him in the stomach. He had never in a 
million years expected this. For a long moment, he had no voice. Finally he said, 
"She...she's been happy then."  He tried to veil his anguish in contentment that 
she had been all right. But he failed miserably.
	"He adopted your daughter, Nicolette," Janette went on.
	Even the pride in knowing that Natalie had named her for him was lost 
in the agony of knowing that she had another father. That someone had taken his 
place not just with Natalie, but with their child.
	"And they had another child, a little boy who's four named Richie."
	"For her brother," he said absently.
	Janette rose to take a picture from their fireplace. A family shot from 
last Christmas....
	Nick stared hard at the photo. Natalie, still beautiful as ever. His 
daughter, his *Nicolette*...absolutely lovely. An adorable little boy, her son that 
should have been his--named after the brother whom he himself had killed. And a 
tall blond man with his arm around Natalie--his Natalie. They looked so happy 
together. And for the first time, he felt utterly alone. Even in his desolation and 
despair, he had held on to the fantasy of them, of someday being a family. But 
they were part of a family in which he had no place. He wished the leitovuterine 
would wear off right now. If it did, he would have no compunctions about 
walking out into the sunlight....
	"This...is her husband..." he managed, not taking his eyes off the 
picture.
	"That *was* her husband," Janette replied with meaning.
	He looked up at her.
	"Two nights ago, they came into my restaurant, quite by mistake. I 
sensed Niki right away. And I warned Natalie that now that she had hit puberty, 
it would become strong in her. They planned to get away. They were going to 
leave last night." She paused. "Some vampire--a renegade, I believe--broke into 
the house and murdered her husband. He was drained completely."
	"Oh my God," he whispered, closing his eyes. His own jealousy was 
drowned in the horror of what had happened. "Poor Nat," he said with real 
sorrow. "She must be--" There was no word for it.
	"She called me because she was devastated--and terrified.  I had some 
friends cover it up, and I stayed here to protect them. But no one came back."
	He took her hand. "Thank you, Janette. For watching over them."
            "It was the least I can do. They are family, eh?" she said with meaning.
	He took a deep breath. "Where are they now? I have to see them. I have 
to speak to her.  There's a place I just bought--no one knows of it, and no one 
could find us there.  I could have them away by tonight."
	"Nick," she warned. "Don't get ahead of yourself. Natalie already has 
arrangements with Aristotle to leave town. You must be prepared for the 
possibility that she won't want to go off with you."
	Reality kicked in again. "I realize she no longer--feels the same way I 
do..." He couldn't say that she didn't love him anymore. It was too painful to say 
aloud.
	She took his hand, squeezing it a little too hard as she forgot that he 
was human at the moment. "Listen to me. Don't drown in self-pity yet. I know 
that's your favorite pastime. She does still care about you, Nick. I saw it in her 
eyes the first time we spoke, in the way her heartbeat quickened when we 
mentioned you.  I'm certain that in time she will want you back in her life...but 
you're going to have to be patient this time. You can't give in to your jealousy, 
or your desire for things to automatically be as they were thirteen years ago--"
	"They'll never be the same, Janette," he said dully. "If she had really 
loved me--"
	"Stop it, Nicolas!" she said almost angrily. "Stop feeling sorry for 
yourself, and imagine what she must have gone through. I'm sure that you 
yourself were the one to suggest that she leave to protect the baby. So that 
LaCroix and the Enforcers would never know by following you."
	He nodded reluctantly. "But as the time grew near, I changed my mind. 
I told her it was a mistake--"
	"But did you offer her any real alternative? Any other way to ensure 
that her baby would be unharmed?"
	"No," he admitted. "You know I couldn't."
	"So she went off alone to have this child of yours, to raise her by 
herself, knowing that if she wanted to protect Nicolette, she could never ever see 
you again. Is that right?"
	"Yes."
	"So after two years on her own, with no hope of seeing you again, do 
you blame her for trying to make a normal life for herself and her daughter?" She 
shook her head. "Really, Nick, if you can't understand what she went through 
and get past your own pain, she'll never be yours again."
	He knew in his heart that she was right. If only she could be right, too, 
that Natalie still cared for him...
	"Oh, Nicolas," she said, her tone much softer, as she touched his 
cheek with her cool fingers. "I know you have suffered, mon amour. But so has 
Natalie--more than you could ever imagine."
	"I  know. And I won't let her down this time," he vowed. He gave her a 
hug, drawing strength from her embrace. 
	"It'll be all right," she said, running her fingers through his hair. "Just 
be patient. And it will all work out."


	She'd known she wouldn't be able to drive home, and had gladly 
accepted when Steven's best friend offered them a lift. She opened the door 
slowly, afraid to let too much light in lest Janette should be on the other side.
	She was. Waiting for them. And Natalie knew from the look on her 
face that something was going on.
	"What happened?" she asked immediately.
	"Everything's all right," Janette promised her. "But there's someone 
here to see you. Waiting in the den."
	Natalie looked at her questioningly, but she offered no more 
information. Instead, the vampire greeted the kids and offered to get them a snack 
in the kitchen. Natalie stood for a long moment watching them head off with her, 
irritated that Janette hadn't been more specific. Hadn't she had enough problems 
today?	 She went to the den, opened the door, prepared for....
	...anything but what she saw.
	She stopped dead in her tracks. Her knees grew weak, and her heart 
skipped a beat. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be.
	"Nick..." A whisper of shock.
	There he stood, looking the same as he had thirteen years ago. Still 
young, still perfect, still looking at her with those blue eyes...eyes filled with 
anguish, as they had the day she'd left. For a long moment he stared at her, until 
finally he said, "Hi, Nat."
	And suddenly, it hit her. She had spent thirteen years away from him, 
raised their daughter without him, just to protect her. And now, an eternity later, 
in the midst of everything that had happened, as Steven lay dead,  here he was, 
like a trumpet call to LaCroix or any other vampire that might follow. This was 
it. She could not bear all that she had been through in the last twenty-four 
hours...and this. It was too much. And the rage that had slowly been building 
within her, erupted.
	"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

	Nick had known that this would not be the joyous reunion he had 
fantasized. But he had never anticipated this.
	"I came..when I heard...I just want to help you, Nat," he stammered.
	"Help me?" she cried. "How, by leading LaCroix straight to our 
daughter?!"
	"Nat, I just want to help you protect her.-"
	"I think it's a little too late, Nick! I've spent the last thirteen years of 
my life protecting her! And I did it alone, because *you* said that your presence 
would attract LaCroix, and the Enforcers. Well, unless the rules have changed, 
you've got some nerve showing up now! In case you didn't know, I've just come 
back from my husband's wake!"
	"I know, Nat," he told her, shaken. "I'm sorry--"
	"You should be sorry!," she cried, her face hot with tears.  "Because 
he was my husband, and I loved him, and now he's lying there dead because of 
you and your kind! I don't need your help! You've fucked up my life enough! 
And I didn't protect Niki all those years just to have you waltz back into our 
lives and bring LaCroix with you!"
	"Nat, please, listen to me--" he begged, reaching out to her. But she 
pulled away. 
	"Just get the hell out of here!" she sobbed. "Just leave us alone!"
`	He didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do. To pull 
her into an embrace, to hold her as she cried, to calm her with his kiss, to tell her 
how much he loved her, to promise that he would make it safe for all of them.  
But he knew that was impossible.  She would hear none of it. And her words, the 
venom in her voice, the anger that she had built up against him, were devastating.
	He moved towards the door. Her outburst was over, and she was simply 
staring at him, as if not sure what he would do. "I'm sorry, Nat," he said in a 
broken voice. When she did not interrupt, he prayed for the strength to say what 
he needed to. "You don't have to worry about LaCroix. I took the Leitovuterine 
to come here by day. I only wanted to help you. All these years I've dreamed 
about seeing you again...about meeting our child...when I heard where you were, 
and that you were in danger..." There were tears in his eyes and in his voice, 
choking him as he said, "How could I stay away?"
	She said nothing. He turned back toward the door. "I'll let Janette 
know where you can find me," he managed, and left without looking back.
	Janette was coming out of the kitchen as he closed the den door behind 
him. He knew that with her preternatural hearing, she had heard it all, whether 
she'd wanted to or not.
	"You were wrong, Janette," he said, struggling to keep back his tears. 
"She hates me. And she blames me for everything.
	"No, Nick, she doesn't," Janette tried to tell him, wiping his cheek 
with her finger.
	He pulled away from her. He didn't need to be coddled with lies 
anymore.
	"You've got my cell phone number," he said dully, and left.
	He collapsed in the front seat of his car, burying his head in the 
steering wheel. Damn this sunlight. Nowhere to hide his tears. Nowhere to be 
alone in his misery. 
	Yet he knew that sunlight was the only thing that would release him 
from his pain now.


	Natalie stared after him, then collapsed on the couch. She wanted to 
remain angry at him. She wanted to hate him for taking a risk like this. She 
wanted to scream at him until her voice was gone, until there was nothing left to 
blame him for. 
	She wanted him to come back.    
	And she realized that perhaps that was the real reason she had lashed 
out at him.
	She found Janette standing  by the front door, weary from daytime, 
from last night, and from what she surely knew had just happened.
	"Why did you do it, Janette?"  she asked, her pain overshadowing her 
anger. "Why?"
	Janette faced her, her own sorrow at what had just transpired, at her 
plan gone awry, clearly emblazoned on her features. "Because you need him, 
Natalie," she said passionately.
	"I don't need him," she lied.
	"Because you *love* him," Janette responded.
	She didn't have the strength, or the will, to deny it. She turned from 
Janette, not wanting her to see how right she had been.
	But Janette had seen.
	And so had Niki.


	Natalie pushed around the salad with her fork, conscious of the fact 
that Richie and Nicolette were watching her intently. Dinner had been a fairly 
silent affair. It was their first family meal without Steven, and his empty chair sat 
at the head of the table as a grim reminder.
	"I guess I'm not too hungry either," she said to them, pushing her plate 
away.
	"Mommy, can I go upstairs and watch a video?" Richie pleaded, his 
chicken fingers barely eaten.
	"Of course you can," Natalie told him, stroking his hair. She couldn't 
blame him for not wanting to sit here. None of them did.
	As he ran up the stairs, Nicolette turned to her mother. "You want me 
to go watch him and take care of his bath and stuff? You look really tired."
	Natalie gave her a weak smile. "You're an angel." She did need a rest.
Although she dreaded being alone with her thoughts. They hadn't been very kind 
to her.
	Nicolette stood to leave, but thought better of it. She turned back to 
her mother, bent towards her ear to whisper in a confidential tone, "I just want 
you to know, that I think you did the right thing."
	It took Natalie totally aback. "What do you mean?"
	Nicolette sat down next to her. "You know, throwing him out. Telling 
him he's messed up our lives enough." She shook her head. "He has no business 
being here."
	Natalie's heart sank. She had said those things in anger, and regretted 
them ever since. And now, Nicollete, having obviously heard it all, was 
attempting to add her stamp of approval. She couldn't bear to hear her daughter -
-Nick's daughter-- speak of him in this way. But how could she fault her when 
Nicolette had heard those very words out of her mother's own mouth?
	"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen," she apologized, reading Natalie's 
dismay as disapproval for her eavesdropping. "The last couple of days I've been 
hearing things...that were really low or far away. I didn't say anything because it 
scared me--I thought I was going crazy--until before, when I realized Janette and I 
were both hearing the same thing."
	Natalie breathed deeply, and looked into her daughter's eyes. "Niki, 
it's okay. I'm not mad at you for listening. Along with the other--abilities--you 
must have developed acute hearing, like *they* have."
	"I guess I'll just have to try not to listen to everything I hear," she said 
guiltily.
	"You can work on it," Natalie assured her. "But listen, sweetie, I want 
you to know something. The things I said to Nick--your father--I said because I 
was angry, and upset over Daddy. And because I was scared for you. But I was 
wrong. None of this is his fault."
	"Yes it is," she said bitterly. "Mom, listen to me--I know how you felt 
about him. But don't you realize that it *is* his fault? And that we're better off 
without him?"
	Natalie shook her head sadly. "Niki, you're angry. Like I was. Like I 
*am*. But we can't blame Nick. He...cares about us, and just wants to help."
	"We don't need his help," she said angrily, rising. 
	She started to leave, and Natalie went after her, just as Janette walked 
in, refreshed from her rest. 
	"It's sundown," Niki observed as she saw her. She turned to her 
mother. "I'm gonna go take care of Richie."
	"Niki, please!"
	But the girl was hurrying up the stairs.
	"Let her cool off, Natalie," Janette said, touching her arm to keep her 
from following.
	"It's all my fault," she fretted. "She heard every word I said to Nick--"
	"She has heightened senses now," Janette told her.  "But you musn't 
feel guilty. She already felt that way last night, when I spoke to her. I don't think 
hearing you made much of a difference." She went to the refrigerator, and pulled 
out two bottles, one of her own, and one Natalie recognized as White Zinfandel. 
Janette handed them to her. "Now where are your wine glasses?"
	At Natalie's questioning look, she said, "I think it's about time you sat 
down, relaxed, and had a drink. You could use it."
	Natalie didn't argue. At each turn things became more and more 
complex. Maybe she did need to loosen up a little...

	An hour later, she was feeling a *lot* better.  She'd finished the White 
Zinfandel long before Janette had gotten halfway through her bottle of blood, 
and had gone on to the Absolut. She was already light-headed, and it occurred to 
her that she'd better not let the knife slip as she cut up chunks of lime to put in 
her vodka. Bleeding in front of a vampire wasn't the safest thing to do. "You 
know, I never could find good limes in Toronto," she commented as she refilled 
her glass
	"We didn't have much call for them at the Raven", Janette replied 
dryly.
	Somehow Natalie found that very funny and started laughing. "Oh 
God, I'm getting giggly," she said, pouring yet another glass and squeezing two 
pieces of lime into it. "Back then, Janette, would you ever have imagined that 
we'd be sitting here drinking	 together?"she mused.
	"Never," Janette replied and smiled. "Although I did once tell you 
we'd have to get together and talk. I think that made Nicolas very nervous."
	Natalie sobered at the mention of his name. "Yeah, well, I guess he's 
not an issue between us any more." Now she really needed a refill.
	"Natalie, he never really was," Janette said seriously. "What he and I 
had was over long before you met him."
	Natalie looked into her eyes with a hurt that had been hidden very 
deeply for a very long time. "Janette, I knew. I knew about all the times he went 
to you." It wasn't an accusation; it was a statement of fact.
	Silence fell between them for a moment. What more could be said 
about that? And Janette's very failure to coment deepened the wound, for it 
confirmed it.  But there was more to be said. "There's something else. When you 
came back to town, when you were mortal--"
	"You helped me, and I was very grateful," Janette finished, as if trying 
to avoid the direction where Natalie was headed.
	"I was nasty to you. I was rude," she admitted. "And I'm really sorry 
about that. I probably wouldn't admit this to you if I weren't tipsy, but I suppose 
it was because I was jealous. I was jealous of what you had been able to do with 
Robert. Make love to him. Become mortal. I wanted to be with Nick so badly. 
And we couldn't."
	"He was afraid to risk your life," Janette reminded her gently.
	"I know. But there's more to it. He and I had gotten so close in those 
months you were away. And then there you were. And you weren't a vampire 
anymore. You were on the same level as I was. Except that you had known him 
for eight hundred years. And I was afraid--"
	"But you didn't have to be, Natalie. Even before I left Toronto, I knew 
that Nicolas was in love with you!"
	"Then why did he always go back to you?" she asked, the alcohol 
beginning to hit her with all it's force as a depressant.
	Janette paused, and Natalie couldn't be sure for how long. She could 
hear herself speak, and yet it was as if it were someone else. And the rational part 
of her told her she was crazy to admit these things to the woman who had been 
her rival for Nick's love for so long. Yet the part of her that had been released of 
inhibitions told her that it didn't matter anymore. Nick was out of her life--she 
had seen to that herself this afternoon. And after tomorrow, she would never see 
Janette again. What did it matter if she appeared weak or jealous? Did any of 
these things matter anymore? No. So what the hell. Let it out.
	"Natalie," Janette finally said. "I loved Nicolas once. But *I* left 
*him* to go on with my life. And while there was still a bond between us, it was 
the bond of having shared blood, and of friendship. You were right. There were 
many times he came to me during the time he knew you--"
	Even having known it made it so difficult to hear....
	"But I will admit something to you now that I have never admitted to 
anyone. In a way, Nicolas used me. He would come to me when he was frustrated 
about his inability to be with you. Because I could assuage his hunger, and his 
desires, in a way that you could not without risking your life or being brought 
over."
	"I would have trusted him to try..." she said softly.
	"But he loved you too much, Natalie." She hesitated before going on 
and Natalie realized it was a difficult admission. "I could feel his love for you, 
his desire for you, in his blood. And I won't lie and tell you that at the time it 
didn't hurt me."
	"He hurt us both," Natalie mused with a new realization.
	Janette nodded. "But once he admitted to himself his feelings for you, 
and commited to beginnning a relationship with you--there was nothing more 
between us. And when I...fell in love with Robert," she said with a sad smile as 
she remembered him, "I knew...that  any romantic feeling I had had for Nick was 
gone. Just a pleasant memory. Nothing more."
	Natalie was silent for a moment, formulating the question she just had 
to ask. "Janette, after I was gone...in the last thirteen years..."
	"Natalie, we were never together like that again," Janette broke in, 
anticipating her concern. 
	"But he brought you back across," Natalie said, though she knew it 
must be a sensitive topic.
	"Yes," Janette said, taking a taste of her bloodwine, and clearly trying 
to repress the anger she still felt. "In time I forgave him for that. But we never 
shared blood again." She finished off her glass, dismissing the memory with the 
last sip. 
	"Janette, I appreciate your telling me this..but the truth is, none of it 
matters anymore."
	The vampire gave her a look of admonition. "We've been very honest 
to each other. Are you going to sit there and lie to me now, and say that you 
don't love him?"
	She was right. Janette had opened up to her--something she'd never 
imagined her capable of doing. Once more, the alcohol released her from the 
bonds of propriety and self-denial. "No. I can't. I do love him--" But she stopped 
abruptly as shame kicked in. "My God, listen to me! How can I be talking like 
this while my husband --?"
	"Natalie, you loved Steven," Janette told her. "And no one is 
suggesting you do anything to dishonor him or his memory. But you can't push 
Nick away in your grief, not when you and Nicolette need him so. Not when he 
needs to be here for you."
	"Today, when I saw Nick..." she began, wanting to organize her 
thoughts as much as confide them in someone, "I was so glad to see him. But at 
the same time,  I was angry at myself for that. I couldn't allow myself to be nice 
to him, to feel anything for him. I thought that if I did, it would be disloyal to 
Steven. And then when I heard Niki talking that way about him...blaming 
him...saying that I'd done the right thing..." She looked at Janette, teary-eyed 
from the vodka and from the stress of it all.  "I knew just how wrong I had been."
	"Nicolette is doing the same thing as you did, Natalie," Janette pointed 
out, although she'd already known. "She's afraid to care for Nick. She thinks 
that  would be disloyal to her step-father."
	"It's a little different for me," Natalie reminded her.  "Even if I wanted 
to, I couldn't just forget the past ten years with Steven--"
	"No one is asking you to. He only wants to help you."
	"I know." She shook her head. "I was so cruel to him. I wish I could 
take it all back."
	"Then tell him," Janette prodded.
	Natalie looked at her helplessly. "How? I sent him away."
	Janette motioned with her head to the door, and made a half-amused 
face. "I hate to tell you this, but he's been lurking around outside ever since dark. 
I don't think he ever left."
	"What?" And now, with this release of tension, she laughed.
	"I didn't sense him, of course. I heard him, and then when I stepped 
outside I saw him hiding behind a tree. It's quite pathetic actually. He's not quite 
as stealthy as he was as a vampire." And now Janette laughed with her. 
"Remember, Natalie. He's a thirteenth century man. He knows I'm protecting 
you, but he still must think that only a man can do the job right."
	Natalie rolled her eyes. "I think I'd better let him in."
	She stood and Janette stopped her, whispering, "You might want to 
speak more quietly this time."  She motioned to upstairs, where Nicolette was in 
her room.
	"Yeah, I have to get used to having a daughter with hearing like the 
Bionic Woman,"she joked. Then, at Janettte's puzzled expression, added, "You 
know, on TV. Didn't you ever watch TV when you were young--" She stopped 
herself and gave an apologetic expression. "Sorry, never mind."
	"They didn't have TV when I was younger," Janette confided with a 
wry smile.


	Natalie hadn't realized just how drunk she was until she stood up--and 
the room started to sway. She made her way to the front door, nevertheless, 
grabbing onto a piece of furniture here and there to steady herself. This wouldn't 
do. How could she talk to him like this?
	Maybe this was the only way she could.
	She hated losing control. Yet she'd done that with him pretty well this 
afternoon, and she'd been sober. 
	"Are you sure you're up to this?" she heard Janette ask in the 
background.
	"Not in the least," she replied, and opened the door.
	The cool evening breeze was great. For a moment she let it wash over 
her, waking her from what was quickly becoming a stupor. Feeling refreshed, she 
looked around.
	He wasn't there.
	More disappointed than she liked, she was about to tell Janette that 
she had been wrong. Instead she tried another approach, hoping no neighbors 
would hear her.
	"You might as well show yourself, Nick. I know you're there."
	He stepped from the bushes, and stood only feet from her. He was 
clearly embarrassed, and looked at her apologetically as he said, "I'm sorry, Nat. 
I just wanted to make sure no one--"
	"I know," she said wearily. "Come on inside, Nick."
	His face registered both surprise and relief as she turned to the door 
and motioned for him to follow. Janette had discreetly slipped away to leave 
them alone. Natalie only wished she hadn't taken the vodka with her.
	She led him back to the den, closing the door behind them. Somehow 
it seemed more private in a closed room, though she knew damn well that either 
Janette or Niki could hear them if they wanted to. She imagined that Janette was 
somehow occupying Nicolette to keep her from listening, and Natalie was 
grateful for that. She was uncomfortable enough without having to worry that 
their daughter might eavesdrop.
	"We have to talk," she said, turning to him.
	And looking at him now in the light, she couldn't help but notice how 
handsome he still was, how young, how...unchanged. It made her suddenly feel 
terribly self-conscious. What must he be thinking to see her like this, thirteen 
years older, and not exactly at her best? She dismissed those thoughts. They were 
irrelevant right now.
	And forbidden.
	"Nick, I--"
	"Nat, let me start," he begged, his eyes still filled with the same 
anguish she had left there that afternoon.
	She was silent. She wanted to apologize. But she'd said enough. Give 
him a chance.
	"Natalie, I just want you to know," he began in a broken voice. "I 
never meant to upset you. I know...you've been through a lot. I don't want to 
complicate your life. Just please, let me see you and the kids safely away from 
here...and I'll leave you alone."
	"Oh, Nick..." she sighed in despair. She hated to see him like this. 
Especially knowing that she had devastated him with her words.  
	"Nat...I can't walk away...without knowing that you...and my little 
girl..are safe..." Every word resounded his pain. 
	Tears filled her eyes. "Oh God, Nick, I'm so sorry....The way I spoke 
to  you...the things I said...I was so wrong!"
	He brough his hand up to her cheek. God, how his fingers were like 
fire on her skin! Was it the alcohol, or just his touch after so long? She found 
herself trembling at his caress.
	"It's okay," he said softly. "You were right, Nat. I've brought you 
nothing but unhappiness."
	"That's not true and you know it!" she said in a hushed whisper, 
hearing the passion in her own voice. Everything was coming to a head: Steven's 
death, Nicolette's anger, her own rage and sorrow...and Nick, here before her, 
after all these years, in anguish over her... If only she could tell him how much 
she did love him and need him...She hoped he could see in her eyes what she 
could not say. "Nick, please, just understand," she said with a tremor in her 
voice. "The last twenty four hours have been hell...I've been angry...and scared 
..." She couldn't go on. Her voice was already choked with emotions about to 
erupt. She clasped her hand over his....
	...and felt it there. The ring she had given him. She was overwhelmed 
at once with her love for him, a love that had never diminished no matter how 
hard she had tried to relegate it to her past...
	...and guilt. At least she had had Nicolette, and then a new life, with 
Steven and Richie. Nick had had no one, nothing but his hope of seeing her and 
their child again someday. He'd rushed to be with her at the first news of 
danger....And how had she greeted him? With animosity, anger, cruelty. All 
because she'd been afraid to admit how much she really did want and need him 
there...
	She looked into his eyes, blinking back the tears that threatened to 
blind her. And she realized that his attention had been drawn to something else: 
his diamond ring on the hand she had placed over his.
	A slight smile had crossed his lips, and his tear-filled eyes 
registered...relief? He took her hand, holding it between his for a long moment, 
then bringing it up to his lips, brushing them across her skin. Again, the warmth 
of his touch sent a shiver through her body. He held her ringed hand against his 
cheek, and she found herself running her fingers delicately  across his stubble, 
then back into his soft blond hair. His eyes shone his love for her as he said, in a 
voice still choked with feeling, "I guess...this means you didn't forget me."
	"Did you really think I could?" she rasped. Had he really believed that 
what she'd felt for him could ever be extinguished, even with time, even with the 
new life she'd been forced to forge for herself and her daughter? Yes. He had. 
And she had only contributed to his pain and desolation with her hateful words. 
"Nick, I--"
	But what could she say? What did she dare say? And it was then that 
she could control herself no more. And the emotions that had been bubbling 
within her for hours, for days, for years, burst forth. She fell into his arms, 
sobbing uncontrollably...for him, for her, for *them*. For Steven, who hadn't 
deserved to die; for Nicolette who had never known her father, and for Richie 
who would never again see his. For what she had done to Nick today...for the 
role she had played in leading Steven to his death...for the life she and Steven 
had had cut so tragically short...for the life she and Nick had been deprived of. 
And as the alcohol she had drunk brought her into new depths of depression, she 
clung to Nick, knowing that only here, in his arms, could she ever feel hope 
again. She'd been a fool to turn him away. And as he held her tightly, she knew 
that no one in her life had ever made her feel so safe, so loved....
	
	"It's okay, Nat," he whispered, hugging her to him, kissing her 
tenderly on the cheek. It was the most he dared. But right now, just holding her 
was enough, just knowing that no matter what had gone on in her life, he had 
always had a place in her heart... 
	"I'm so glad you're here, " she wept. "I was so afraid..."
	"Shhhh," he soothed her, kissing her on the forehead, relishing the 
scent of her skin, her hair, her perfume. Just as he'd remembered, but more 
intoxicating than he'd recalled. It was still so hard to believe that she was real 
this time, and not some fantasy of his blood-induced stupor....
	For too short a time she rested in his embrace. When she pulled away, 
he took her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. "You're safe now, do you 
hear me? I'm going to take you all away, and I won't let anything happen to you."
	She nodded weakly, her emotion evidently spent. He let his hands fall 
down to take hers, fighting the overpowering desire to kiss her full on the lips.
She was still so beautiful, the years making her only more desireable to him.
	"Nick, I can't go until tomorrow," she said slowly. "Steven's funeral...I 
have to be there. I *want* to be there. I can't go until I see him properly buried."
	"I understand," he said quickly, trying not to let her see how much the 
mention of her husband still pained him. "We'll leave right afterwards. Take 
advantage of the daylight. There's a place I bought in Europe. No one knows 
about it, not even Janette. No one will ever find us there...."
	She nodded briskly, not really seeming up to hearing the details. She 
was leaving it in his hands, entrusting their lives to him. 
	He would not let them down.
	He released her hand reluctantly. He could sense that the contact had 
made her uncomfortable, and wasn't going to push his luck. "You'd better...get 
some sleep," he said awkwardly, putting her need for rest ahead of his need to be 
with her.
	She nodded, then offered him a smile. "There's one thing I have to do 
first," she told him mysteriously.
	"What?" He had no idea what it could be.
	"I have to introduce you to your daughter."
	And his heart sang just in anticipation. He couldn't imagine how he 
had ever considered ending his life. It was just about to get good again.  


	Nick could feel his heart pounding as Natalie called their daughter 
downstairs.  With the excitement of an expectant father, he watched, waited...
	And there she was. So beautiful. Janette had been wrong. She didn't 
look like him. In her eyes, her lovely features, her step...she was Natalie. He 
smiled as she came towards him, wanting desperately to hug her, hold her, tell 
her how sorry he was for not being there for her all these years....
	"Nicolette, this is Nick. Your father."
	"Hello, Nicolette," he said, with tears in his eyes. "You don't know 
how happy I am to--"
	His words, and his joy, were cut short as she came to face him. Eyes 
filled with anger, face an emotionless mask, she looked at him accusingly and 
said, "You're not my father. My father is dead. And it's your fault."
	His heart rose into his throat. He could hear Natalie take in a breath, 
and moan, "Oh, Niki..." 
	He struggled to contain his disappointment, his anguish, as he said, 
"I'm very sorry about what happened, Nicolette. But I promise you I had nothing 
to do with it. I'm only here to help you."
	She seemed to hesitate a moment, as if trying to evaluate what he had 
said. But she simply replied, "We don't need your help." She held out her hand 
to him, and he could see that she was holding something she wanted to give him.  
He laid open his palm, and without touching him, she deposited it there.
	"I think this is yours," she said.
	His heart sank as he saw the Brabant family ring he'd given Natalie as 
a gift for their baby. He'd never imagined their baby would reject it...reject 
him...like this. "It's yours," he said softly, his voice beginning to break. "I 
wanted you to have it."
	"I don't want it," she replied stiffly.
	Nick took a deep breath as he slipped it into his pocket. "Well, I'll 
hold onto it for you then," he said, trying to obscure his pain from her. 
"Someday, if you want it back, it's yours."
	Nicolette seemed to falter for a moment, surprised by his response. But 
her facade of indifference returned as she said, "Don't hold your breath."
	"Niki, that's enough!" Natalie cried, flabbergasted. 
	 "It's okay, Nat," Nick told her, his gaze on her daughter unwavering. 
"She's been through a lot."
	Again, he saw a glimpse of the child within, hiding behind the tough 
exterior. How he longed to reach her! But in a moment she had turned on her 
heel and run up the stairs. He looked to Natalie, and could see the sadness that 
mirrored his own. This wasn't what she had planned either.
	"Nick, I'm so sorry," she said, clearly mortified. "I knew she was 
upset...and bitter...but I didn't think--"
	"It's okay," he reassured her, trying to force a smile. He felt physically 
ill, but now was the time to be strong for Natalie. "Give her time..."
	"It's my fault. She heard me today when I--"
	"Don't do this to yourself again, Nat. It'll be okay." He squeezed her 
hand.
	Just then, Janette came down the stairs. Nick knew she had heard. But  
her sympathetic expression did little to ease the ache in the pit of his stomach. 
"She'll come around, Nicolas. She did with me, even after she tried to shoot me."
	His eyes opened wide. "After she what?"
	"It's a long story," Nat told him. "I'm going to go talk to her--"
	"Natalie, wait, let me," Janette offered. "She was angry at you for 
letting him in.  It might be better if someone else spoke to her."
	Reluctantly, Natalie agreed.
	"Besides," Janette added, "I did want to say good bye. I'll be gone in 
the morning when she wakes up."
	"Then I guess I'd better say good-bye too," Natalie said. Did Nick 
notice a look of regret in her eyes? "Thank you, Janette," she said warmly. "For 
everything. I wouldn't have gotten through the last day without your help. And 
your friendship."
	Nick raised his eyebrows as the women gave each other an affectionate 
hug. When had they become friends? Had he missed something?
	"Just don't forget our "talk"," Janette said with meaning, shooting a 
playful look at Nick.
	Natalie nodded silently and Janette headed up the stairs.
	When they were alone, he turned to her "So, just what did you two, uh, 
talk about?" He tried to hide his apprehension under a veil of curious 
amusement.
	"Oh, just girl stuff," Natalie teased him, then grew serious.  "She really 
did a lot to help us--to help me. I don't know how I would have handled this all 
without her. She even took away Richie's memory of seeing--" She stopped 
abruptly, visibly shaken, and Nick knew that the image of Steven's body had 
swum before her.
	"It'll be okay," he assured her, touching her arm. How soft her skin 
was!
	She nodded and broke the contact, to his dismay. "I--I'd better get 
some rest," she told him. "Do you need anything--? There are pillows and sheets 
in the linen closet, over there-"
	"I won't be sleeping," he replied. "I'll sleep on the plane tomorrow." 
	"Well there's food--you *are* eating food now?--in the kitchen, and--"
	"Don't worry about me, Nat," he reassured her. "I'll be fine. Just get 
your sleep. You've got a long day tomorrow."
	She sighed deeply. "You're right.Good night, Nick." She took two 
steps up the stairs then then turned back to him. "Nick, my gun, with the wooden 
bullets. It's in--"
	"I've got my own," he told her. "Not to mention a few other supplies."
	Seemingly satisfied, and looking much more relaxed to hear of his 
preparedness, she bid him good-night once more, and went upstairs.
	Nick just stared after her, wishing he could follow, and ashamed of 
himself for his thoughts.


	Janette found Nicolette awake. The girl sensed her before she saw her, 
and sat up in bed, waiting for the reprimand she obviously expected.
	Janette wasn't about to disappoint her. "That wasn't very nice, Niki," 
she said quietly but sternly. "He's waited thirteen years to meet you. And you 
hurt him very deeply."
	Nicolette looked down. "I couldn't help it. I don't want him here. It's 
his fault Daddy's dead."
	"Niki, look at me. Tell me how it's his fault."
	Nicolette faced her, her eyes brimming with tears. "Because it's his 
fault that I'm what I am, and it's because of me that Daddy's dead."
	Janette shook her head. "I told you, I don't believe that Steven was 
murdered because of you. And regardless of that--you can't blame yourself for 
what you are. And you can't blame him or your mother for bringing you into this 
world. They both love you, and wanted to have you."
	"He should have known I would be like this."
	"Niki, if you're going to follow that line of reasoning, then you might 
as well blame LaCroix for making your father what *he* is. Or me, for leading 
him to LaCroix eight hundred years ago."
	"You--?" Her eyes opened wide.
	"Yes, I seduced him and brought him to LaCroix, " she told her, not 
without difficulty.  "But that was eight centuries ago. How far back are you 
willing to throw blame? Can't you just accept that this was a senseless act by a 
creature with no regard for human life? That the responsibility lies with no one--
not you, not your father or your mother."
	Nicolette nodded slowly. "I know...I guess. But it a just so hard to see 
him...right now...I mean, when I found out about him, I wanted to meet him. And 
I knew Mommy still cared about him, but that didn't bother me because I knew 
she loved Daddy, and we were all happy together. Now, him being here, and 
seeing my mom with him....there's something not right about it. And I can't 
just...accept him right now. Not while Daddy is lying there..." Her voice became 
too choked with her emotions to speak. And as she began to cry, Janette opened 
her arms to her, comforting her, wishing it were in her power to take away this 
child's anguish.
	"You feel guilty about his being here," Janette said softly, stroking her 
hair. "You think that if you accept him, then you're betraying your step-father."
	"I guess so," Nicolette admitted.
	"But that's not true, Niki. Steven knew how much you loved him, and 
nothing will ever change that. You'll always have your love and your memories 
of him. But Nick is your father, and he loves you, and just wants to protect you. 
Please, just try to give him  a chance."
	"Okay," she said after a long moment, her voice nasal from crying.
 She sat back against the pillows, bringing her knees up and hugging them. "I 
guess everyone is mad at me now."
	"No. No one is angry with you. It's been a difficult day for everyone. 
You all just need time.'
	She seemed satisfied with that, and Janette began to think that it might 
not be long before Nicolette was warming up to Nick.
	 "Janette, can I ask you something?" Niki asked suddenly in a 
confidential tone. "You said if I had any questions about him--"
	This certainly was a positive start. "Go ahead," she smiled. "What do 
you want to know?"
	"About him...and you. Were you ever boyfriend and girlfriend?"
	Janette hadn't expected that. or perhaps she had, but had still not 
figured out quite how to answer. 
	"Well, as I told you, I brought him to LaCroix. And later on, we did 
become as you say, boyfriend and girlfirend," she said, finding the terms totally 
inappropriate, but remembering she was talking to a young girl.
	Nicolette's face seemed to darken, and Janette saw Natalie in her 
expression. "Were you--when he met my mom?"
	And Janette smiled slightly. The hint of jealousy, of looking after her 
mother's interests where Nick was concerned, was a good sign.  "No," she 
assured her, "your father and I were--together like that--a long time ago. During 
the Renaissance, in Europe. Five hudnred years ago. But that ended, and we were 
just friends."
	"Are you sure?" she pressed, and Janette feared what she might have 
overheard of her conversation with Natalie. She would have to be honest if 
Nicolette were to trust her, trust Nick, and accept it if someday her parents were 
together again. 
	Janette looked into her eyes. "There were times, before he and your 
mother began a real--relationship--that he was very angry and frustrated that he 
could not be with her. He was afraid that he would hurt her if he could not 
control the vampire within him. Sometimes, he would come to me--to share 
blood, to assuage his hunger... But he loved your mother desperately. And once 
they were together, there was never anything more like that between us again."
	Nicolette considered her worrds a moment, then asked quietly, "Not 
even after Mommy left with me?"
	"No, Niki," Janette promised her.
	"Can I ask you something personal, Janette?"
	She nodded, waiting for the question, although she had already 
guessed it.
	"Do *you* still love him?"
	"Not in that way," she told her honestly. "You see, I too fell in love 
with someone else. His name was Robert..." And briefly, more briefly than 
something that had impacted so greatly upon her deserved, she told Nicolette 
about Robert. His death. Her newfound mortality. And how Nick had brought her 
back across.
	Nicolette's lips parted in surprise. "He made you a vampire again?"
	Janette tried to control her own feelings on that count as she 
explained, "It was to save my life. I would have died. And although at the time 
perhaps I would have preferred to die--I know he only did it because he cared for 
me. And I'm glad now that he did." It was the truth. And she had told Nick that, 
resolved it with him, long ago.
	"So if he brought you across, that makes him your--?" She was 
searching for the word. "--master?"
	Janette almost laughed at that, then became serious. "No, not quite. 
Tecnically I suppose, but he would never try to control me as LaCroix did. In our 
community, probably a more appropriate term would be--father." Even that 
seemed ludicrous after their long history together, but it was more accurate.
	"So, in a wierd sort of way, doesn't that make you my sister?"
	Janette smiled at her. "I guess so. If you'd like to think of me that 
way."
	Nicolette returned her smile, and it warmed Janette's heart as she said, 
"I'd like that."
	Janette nodded, her expression tender as she said, "So would I, Niki."
	For a few minutes more they talked, until Janette was certain that her 
new-found little sister was at ease. She was enjoying this immensely. Nicolette 
was really such a sweet young girl, having seemed to inherit the best of both her 
parents. It was with great reluctance that she finally said, "Well, you'd better get 
your rest. I came up here because I wanted to say goodbye. I'll have to leave 
before morning, and you'll all be gone before nightfall."
	Nicolette looked suddenly distressed, and Janette wished she could be 
there to help her in the difficult days ahead.
	"Can't you come with us?" she pleaded.
	"I can't, Niki. It wouldn't be safe for you. But we'll see each other 
again some day. I promise."
	Niki threw her arms around Janette's neck, and she hugged the little 
girl tightly.
	"Thank you for everything, Janette," she said, her words filled with 
emotion. "I'm really going to miss you."
	"So will I," she said softly.	
	She would miss them all.

	Natalie unzipped her overnight bag, repacking it for the third time, 
determined to fit everything she wanted into it. There were so many things now 
that seemed important to have with her. A small album of wedding pictures, 
jewelry and small gifts Steven had given her over the years....things she'd have 
willingly left behind...
	...if Steven were going with them.
	It seemed so important now to have these momentos. Besides her son, 
her most precious gift from Steven, they were the only physical reminders she 
would have of their life together. When she'd first packed her bag, they were 
going as a family. But now, he was gone. It still hadn't completely hit her until 
she'd seen him lying in the casket. Tomorrow morning she would say good-bye 
to him.
	Forever.
	What irony that Nick should be just downstairs. Thirteen years ago, it 
had devastated her to say good-bye to him, seemingly forever. Yet there was no 
permanence such as that of death. Nothing would ever bring Steven back to her. 
He was gone. Like her parents. Her brother. Her god-daughter.  
	Death had touched her so often in her life. But even her faith in 
something beyond offered little comfort now. This should not have happened. 
Steven should be here, alive, right now....
	She didn't know how long she'd been weeping over the photo she held 
clutched in her hand, when there came a knock at her bedroom door. She hoped 
it wasn't Nick. She didn't want to deal with him now. She wanted to greive. And 
she couldn't mourn for Steven, and deal with the myriad of mixed emotions that 
Nick's arrival had brought, at the same time. It was too much. And Steven came 
first. He had to right now.
	She went to the door, relieved when she found Niki standing on the 
other side. "Are you okay, Mommy?" she asked.
	Natalie nodded, trying to wipe away her tears. "How about you?'"
	Nicolette shrugged uncomfortably. She was on the verge of tears 
herself. "I just can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Daddy..." Her voice 
dropped to a whisper, and Natalie took her into her arms, hugging her tightly. 
	"I know, sweetie. Me too."
	"Do you think it would be okay if I stayed here tonight?" she asked 
timidly. 
	"I'd love the company," her mother told her honestly. She'd hated the 
thought of sleeping alone in that big bed, the bed she had shared with Steven just 
two nights ago.
	Niki smiled and got under the sheets. Natalie tucked her in, then lay 
down herself. Maybe now she could rest.
	She shut the light, leaving on a small lamp. There was something too 
frightening about the dark right now. She lay on her back, hoping the shivers 
she'd felt crawling down her spine would go away. Was it her nerves? A 
presence? Steven's spirit still among them? The thought of the latter gave her 
comfort, and yet....
	"Mom?"
	Niki's voice almost made her jump. She turned to her,  with as much of 
a smile as she could muster. "What is it, Niki?"
	"Are you, uh, mad at me?"
	How could she be? Niki was a victim in all this. "No, I'm not mad." 
She stroked her hair. 
	"I didn't mean to be so nasty," she admitted. "I just--" She didn't even 
seem to have the words or the strength to explain it right now.
	"It's okay. Niki, there's a lot going on. For all of us. We all need some 
time."
	Her daughter nodded. Not having her mother angry for her behavior 
had taken a load off her mind.
	"Let's not think about anything right now. Just Daddy. And how much 
we loved him. Because tomorrow...we have to say good-bye."
	"I miss him so much!" Niki said, tears filling her eyes. "I wish he were 
here!"
	"So do I," Natalie said softly, hugging her. And together they cried 
until they fell asleep.


	Ouside he watched, waited, cursing himself once more for not acting 
quickly enough. With Nicholas and Janette here, he didn't dare make his move 
on them. But the day would come. He would not rest until it did. 


	The morning sun was shining brightly, and although he was waiting for 
them within the confines of the limousine, he still needed the dark sunglasses to 
look out on the scene before him. Dozens of people were gathered in the 
cemetery, a great tribute to this man who seemed to be so well-loved. Part of 
Nick wished he had met him, that he had known the man who had loved Natalie, 
and been a father to his daughter. And yet he didn't know how he would react 
were Steven still alive. How would he feel to meet the man living the life that 
should have been his? Husband to his Natalie, Daddy to his Nicolette...
	His eyes were transfixed on Natalie's face. Her beauty. Her pain. Her 
love for this other man. He watched her as she cried, made the sign of the cross, 
and threw roses onto her husband's casket. His gaze followed her as she reached 
down to pick up her son, holding him in one arm, her other arm around 
Nicolette's shoulders, comforting the little girl who had wept the entire time. A 
man led them away, the funeral director perhaps. Natalie looked back, one last 
time.
	And Nick hated himself for what he was feeling.  He should be 
thinking of their grief now. And yet, all he could feel was his own. She had loved 
this other man so deeply. It was painfully clear. And while he should have been 
glad that they had had a happy life until now, all he could feel was his own 
burning jealousy to see them crying over another man. Another husband. Another 
father.
	Shame overwhelmed him. How could he be jealous of a man who lay 
dead? Yet it was the memory of Steven, of what he had meant to them, that he 
feared he could never compete against. And the thought of being so close to 
them, without being a part of them, was unbearable.
	But he could never let her know his feelings. Janette had made him 
promise to give them both time. To mourn. To recover. To start a new life. But 
his fear that he would not be a part of that life was almost crippling. He knew he 
would have to bury it deep within himself if he were to take care of them. And 
that was what he wanted to do. What he should have done all these years....
	The driver opened the door, and Natalie slipped in beside him, Richie 
on her lap. Nicolette collapsed into the seat next to her, staring out the window.
	"Are you all right, Nat?" he asked quietly, laying a comforting hand 
over hers. He was glad when she let it keep it there.
	She looked at him with reddened eyes and nodded, then turned back to 
Richie, who was snuggling against her, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
	Nick said nothing more, leaving them to their silence. He would be 
patient with them. He would be loving. And he would protect them.
	He must. They were all he had.


	They arrived at LAX forty minutes later. The limousine let them off at 
the TWA terminal. A skycap took their bags, and directed them to the check-in 
counter.
	"Where are we going?" Nicolette asked. It was the first time she'd 
spoken to Nick since last night.
	"Athens," he said simply.
	Natalie raised her eyebrows. "Isn't that too big a city?" she asked.
	"Don't worry, " he replied. "It's only the first stop."
	They were all too weary to question him further. And none of them, 
not even Nick, noticed the pale young woman listening to them with such 
interest.... 


	Nick had never enjoyed flying, unless it was under his own power. His 
first transatlantic flight in a mortal state only served to remind him of that. Now 
he knew where the myth had come from that vampires don't cross running water. 
But airsickness had been the least of it.
	He'd arranged for them to have the four front seats in first class, 
thinking that it might give them the privacy they needed. Nicolette had hardly 
spoken to him since her outburst of the night before. She'd treated him with a 
strained civility; but at least she wasn't being nasty. He'd hoped that during the 
ten hour flight they could get to know one another. But when Natalie had 
suggested Nicolette sit with him, she'd politely declined, saying she'd rather sit 
with her brother. Nick had tried to hide his disappointment, looking forward 
instead to the ten hours he would spend at Natalie's side. But he soon realized 
that this was neither the time nor place for them to talk.  And she'd finally 
succumbed to her exhaustion. She'd spent most of the trip asleep. Nicolette had 
alternated between sleep and reading a book she'd bought at the airport. And 
Nick couldn't help but feel that she was keeping occupied expressly to keep him 
from bothering her. So he'd kept to himself for most of the trip, with his 
loneliness and upset stomach as his only companions.
	Except for Richie. The little boy was a powerhouse of energy. And 
despite his lapses into quiet, when his father's tragic death  found its way into 
his thoughts, for the most part he was filled with excitement and wonder over 
what to him seemed a grand adventure. He'd never been in a plane before, and 
had wanted to run up and down the aisles, pouting when Natalie told him he 
couldn't. So  Nick had taken over. They'd gone upstairs into the first class 
lounge, where he could run around freely. He'd introduced Nick to all of his 
action figures, and Nick had learned that Batman was his favorite. Then, after 
pleading with a friendly stewardess, Nick had taken him to meet the pilots. 
They'd finished their play indulging in huge ice cream sundaes--Nick's first ever. 
It hadn't helped his stomach, but he didn't care.  Richie was full of life, of 
happiness, of affection. His vitality was infectious, and being with him made 
Nick feel alive, a part of humanity, a part of...a family. He hadn't known how to 
approach this child, afraid that Richie might think Nick were trying to take his 
father's place. But Nick realized now that the boy needed a friend, a male figure 
to look to, to keep his own grief from overwhelming him. And Nick loved being 
with him. He was like the son he had always wanted, but never imagined 
possible. And more than that. He was *Natalie's* son. He was a part of *her*, 
and Nick could love him for that alone.
	So as they finally walked through customs at Athens airport, Nick 
mused that perhaps the trip hadn't been so bad after all. 
	He'd made a friend.

	Janette stared absently at the patrons of her restaurant, sipping her 
blood-wine from a corner table. By now Nicolas, Natalie and the kids would be 
far away. A part of her wished she knew where. She was worried about them. 
Especially Nicolette, so strong and yet so fragile right now. She smiled to herself 
to think of her *little sister*. The little girl would forgive Nick, and grow to 
accept him. Janette knew it. And she hoped that the next time she saw them they 
would be a happy family. They all deserved that, after what they'd been through.
	But would they ever be secure enough to grab onto that happiness that 
had been so elusive? Even if they did let Nick back into their lives, the danger 
would always be lurking near...
	His shadow crossed the table before she saw him, and she started 
slightly. 
	"You no longer sense me." There was a tinge of regret in his voice.
	She looked up to see LaCroix, his icy blue eyes reflecting the same 
sadness. "It's been a long time," she observed. What a relief that he could no 
longer read her mind. She wouldn't have been able to keep her knowledge from 
him. She was grateful again that Nicolas had not told her where they were going. 
Ignorance, in this case, was bliss. "What brings you here?" she asked pleasantly, 
motioning for him to sit down.
	He slapped a newspaper down on the table. "I just thought it's been a 
while since you've had your news delivered to you."
	Janette stiffened. His tone had changed at once, and a feeling of 
foreboding came over her, as strongly as if she had felt it through their former 
bond. She looked down at the paper, folded to a small story with an 
accompanying picture. She gasped.  The headline read,. "Prominent Attorney 
Dies Suddenly. Wife and Children Disappear."
	"Do you see a familiar face?" LaCroix asked accusingly.
	She couldn't pretend that she didn't. "So. Nicolas' friend Natalie. 
She's led a full life since she left him." Did she sound casual enough?
	"I don't mean her," he said impatiently. "I mean the child. The girl."
	Janette pretended to study it, but shrugged. "I've never seen her," she 
lied, in a twisted way enjoying the fact that she could now.
	"Don't tell me you don't see it," he said. 
	"See what?" she asked, flashing her eyes at him innocently to maintain 
her facade.
	"Don't toy with me, Janette. The only thing that's changed between us 
is that you're weaker than you were."
	"I don't know what you're talking about, LaCroix. So Natalie had two 
children with this man. He died, and she apparently couldn't handle staying here. 
So? Your point?"
	"You know whose child that is, Janette. The only question is how long 
you've known--and kept it from me."
	"LaCroix, that's absurd," she answered quickly. "Nicolas could not 
have fathered a child. He could never have been with her without losing control. 
She most probably took up with this man out of frustration. Perhaps she was 
even pregnant with his  child before she left. That would explain why Nicolas 
sent her away--and refused to talk about  it. He was probably humiliated."
	Janette made a mental note that she should start writing fiction. She 
didn't know where she'd come up with that one--but it sounded so good that 
LaCroix seemed to consider it for a moment. But then he shook his head. 
	"No. I find that scenario highly unlikely. She was totally devoted to 
Nicholas. I don't think she would have betrayed him."
	"She was a *mortal* woman, LaCroix, running out of time. She had 
needs..." It sounded good to her.
	"But she also had principles."
	Janette said nothing, but her face must have registered her surpirse. 
Was that admiration for Natalie in his voice?
	LaCroix gave her but a second to attempt a response, but he had to 
know there would be none. Finally, he said, "No, Janette, I think you know as 
well as I that that's Nicholas' child. He sent her away so that no one would 
know. And now..." He motioned to the newspaper once more. "It would appear 
that he's gone off with them."
	"You don't know that," Janette protested. Perhaps too much.
	LaCroix looked her knowingly in the eyes. "Nicholas is gone. Are you 
going to try to convince me that this is mere coincidence?" His gaze became hard 
as she failed to respond. "I thought not."
	Janette felt utterly helpless. Even without his link to her, he knew her 
too well. Deceiving him would be impossible. Nick had known, and that was 
precisely why he had not told her their destination. She tried another approach. 
"All right, LaCroix. Let's assume for a moment that you're right--that Nick is 
with Natalie. That he's found her again after all these years. You know how he's 
suffered without her. Why can't you just leave them be?"
 	"Because this is not about Nicholas and his mortal love. I could have 
destroyed her years ago if I'd wanted. Instead, I indulged him. But this--" He 
pointed to Nicolette's photo. "This is a dhampir. You know that they present a 
danger to us. The Code calls for their extermination."
	"This *thing* you're talking about is a little girl," she reminded him, 
her voice filled with passion. "All right, possibly *Nick's* little girl. He is your 
*son*. I know you love him. *If* this is his child--doesn't that mean anything to 
you?"
	She'd struck a nerve in him, and she knew it by his hesitation. His love 
for his son was his greatest strength, and his most powerful weakness. He looked 
at the photo, and she knew that he was seeing Nick in the little girl's face. Not 
merely the resemblance, but the living being within . The quite mortal 
immortality that Nick had, against all odds, attained.  
	"The Code must be followed," he said absently, still gazing at the 
child.
	And Janette knew that she had to dare, "A Code you yourself have 
broken."
	He looked at her sharply.
	"What is the punishment for a vampire who tries to kill his master?"
	And LaCroix knew. It was death. Yet he had not killed Nick for what 
he had done to him fifteen years ago. He could not. And Janette was hoping to 
reawaken that love, that compassion, that had allowed Nick to live, that had 
permitted him to love Natalie...
	But LaCroix's defenses had shot up, and as he glared at her she knew 
that he would not be so easily won. "Your heart has grown too warm, Janette. 
Too soft. You must harden it."
	"No," she said softly. "After nearly two thousand years, *you* are the 
one who must stop trying to deny your humanity. It's in us all, no matter how 
deeply hidden.  It's the only thing that separates us from beasts."
	"And what is there to distinguish us from mortals then?" he challenged 
bitterly. "If we begin to think and feel as they do...what have we learned in our 
lifetimes?"
	"To love...and to put others before ourselves."
	"That's no way to survive," he said, dismissing her. He stood from the 
table, as if suddenly agitated by the conversation.
	Janette began to panic, wondering what he would do. She stood to face 
him. "Please, LaCroix, leave them in peace. I'm begging you."
	"You know where they are," he charged angrily.
	"No, I do not!" she responded with equal ire.
	"Of course not," he said snidely. "Why would they trust *you*?"
	She fumed silently, vowing not to let him see that he had hurt her.
	"It's all right, Janette," he snapped. "I have other means of finding out 
what I need to know. I don't need you--any more than Nicholas does. "
	And he was gone.
	She slipped back into her chair, finishing off her drink. And as she 
closed her eyes, she called out to Nick through their bond of blood, hoping 
against hope that he would hear her...For if he did not contact her, there would 
be no way to warn them.
	LaCroix was on his way. And she had no doubt that he would find 
them.


	They'd taken a flight from Athens to the island of Crete, the largest in 
the archipelago. Once at the airport near Iraklion, the capital city, Nick led them 
to the airfield where private planes were kept. 
	"You mean we're still not there?" Nicolette complained tiredly.
	"Almost," Nick told her. "Crete is probably safe, much safer than 
Athens. But we can't take a chance living here."
	Natalie waited until they were inside the small nine-passenger plane 
before asking  anything more. She knew that he hadn't wanted to talk about their 
final destination anywhere in public, lest someone should be listening. But once 
Nick took the pilot's seat, any other questions she might have had were thrown 
on the back burner. "*You're* piloting this plane?" she asked, showing more 
alarm than she'd wanted to in front of the children.
	"Do you know what you're doing?" Nicolette jumped in. 
	He turned around to face them. "Don't worry. I learned how to fly in 
the war."
	"Uh, what war would that be?" Natalie asked, not really wanting to 
hear the answer. She double-checked the seat belt on her sleeping son.
	"Desert storm?" Nicolette asked, that being the most recent she knew 
of.
	"Uh, no. World War I," he said sheepishly. 
	"World War I?! Are you crazy? I'm not flying in this thing if you 
haven't been a pilot for over ninety years!" Nicolette reached to undo her seat 
belt, but Natalie put a hand over hers.
	"Wait." She looked up at Nick. "Have you flown since then? I mean, in 
a plane?" she added, not without a tinge of amusement. The question was more 
for Nicolette's sake. Natalie knew that he wouldn't endanger them if he really 
didn't know what he was doing.
	Nick smiled at them reassuringly. "Yes. I had a plane in Colorado that 
I used to take out over the Rockies, just in the last five years. And I flew this 
plane when I bought it, the same time I bought the island we're going to."
	"You bought an island?" Nicolette asked in disbelief, her concerns 
about his flying now gone.
	"It's a private island. It was owned by some eccentric millionaire--"
	"It still is," Natalie said quickly, trying to keep a straight face.  
 	Nick shot her a glance, then laughed, glad to see her sense of humor 
coming back. "Very funny. Okay, are we all set?"
	"Wait. Can I ask you something?" Nicolette had been eyeing their 
interaction strangely, as if not sure how she felt about it.
	"Anything you want," he said warmly, and Natalie could see his eyes 
light up at the fact that Nicolette was actually talking to him.
	"Are you really a millionaire?"
	He considered it a moment. "I don't think of myself that way, but I 
guess you could say I've got a lot of money in the bank." And Natalie could see 
some discomfort as he must have thought about how it had all been acquired. He 
added, "Enough to make sure that you and your Mom and your brother will 
always be safe."
	Nicolette seemed to take some comfort in that, but asked, "Then 
why...if you had all that money...did you become a cop?"
	He glanced at Natalie as if looking for moral support, and she gave it 
to him with her eyes. "I wanted to try to do some good...to save lives...use my 
powers for good instead of evil." And then, as if realizing he sounded too 
altruistic, he added honestly, "It was a way to try to redeem myself for all 
the...evil I had done in the past." Somehow, he didn't seem to be able to say, "for 
all the people I had killed." It was something he must know his daughter knew, 
and yet he was ashamed to say it aloud to her.
	Nicolette was silent for a moment, as if taken aback by a candor she 
had never expected. Finally she asked, "Why doesn't Janette feel like she has to 
redeem herself?"
	"Janette never saw herself as evil," he explained.
	"And you did?" she asked, not understanding. 
	He nodded. "I...was." He'd lowered his eyes and Natalie's heart went 
out to him. How difficult it was for him to admit these things to his child! She 
wanted desperately to jump in, to explain, to make it easier for him--but she 
knew she had to let the scene play out between the two of them. It was the only 
way they could truly make any kind of connection.
	"But you're not evil," Nicolette said to him in a kind voice, and he 
raised his eyes to look up at her. "Maybe you did evil things...in the past...but 
just being a vampire doesn't make you evil."
	"Maybe, but--"
	"Does my being a dhampir make *me* evil?" she challenged.
	"Of course not!" he assured her, totally taken aback by what she had 
said, and not wanting her to ever think such a thing of herself.
	"Then you're not evil either," she concluded. "And anything bad that 
you did is in the past. And you're sorry about it. So don't you think you should 
stop beating up on yourself for it?" 
	   Natalie saw him smile through his pain, and thought he would cry. 
For her words, her compassion towards him, had warmed his heart in a way that 
nothing else could have. He seemed almost at a loss for words, until finally he 
said, "You sound a lot like your mother."
	"Maybe that's just because we're both right," she responded in an air 
Natalie recognized as her own.
	Nick nodded, looking too moved to say anything else. 
	"I guess we'd better get going," Natalie said softly. And as Nick turned 
back to the control panel, and Niki settled into her seat, she could see 
satisfaction on both their faces. It would take time for them to build a 
relationship. But this was a beginning. The start of something Natalie had only 
dreamed could happen one day. And for the first time in the last few days, she 
felt at peace.


	His eyes blazed golden as he drank the blood, and yet the glass gave it 
an artificial taste that ruined his enjoyment of it. He needed to feel the pulse of 
the blood as it escaped through  a young woman's veins, the taste of her skin as 
he sank his teeth into the smooth of her neck, the pounding of her heart, the 
smell of her fear....
	He set down the glass as her eyes met his. His hunger for her was 
stronger than ever, and yet the quest he had sent her on had to take first priority. 
For if she had found where Natalie was going, it was *her* blood that he might 
soon taste...that and the blood of her innocent young daughter....
	Yes, perverse as it might seem, for he knew she was only a child...he 
wanted her. And the mere decadence of his own thoughts aroused him. What 
would it be like to take her innocence, her body, her blood...her soul?
	"Did you find them?" he asked impatiently as she wrapped her arms 
around his neck.
	"Oh, I know where they're going," she murmured, bringing her lips to 
his.
	He kissed her, knowing this was part of the game. He gave her what 
she wanted...and  she did his bidding in the daytime, when he could not. "Where 
are they going?" he whispered, running his hands through her hair, to her neck.
	"No...first..." she breathed.
	And he sank his teeth into her, satisfying the hunger that had been 
gnawing at him all night. But this time, he imagined that it was Natalie, just as it 
might have been all those years ago if Nicholas had not come to her rescue. And 
he took just a bit, as he always did. That was the only way to savor her over and 
over again. She protested as he pulled away, then grabbed his wrist and  pushed 
it up to his face. He ripped at his own flesh, letting her feed from him. Again, 
just enough. Never to bring her across. Only to make her his. And it was this 
bond, this control, that made her vulnerable to his slightest whim.
	Although he liked to think his good looks and charm had something to 
do with it....
	"Now tell me," he said, looking into her eyes. "Where were they 
going?"
	"Athens," she said in a daze.
	And he laughed. He knew Greece like the back of his hand. This would 
be easier than he thought.


	"Okay, we're here," Nick announced. The small plane slowed to a halt 
after a smooth touchdown that had surprised everyone.  Natalie thought to 
applaud him, but she was too tired. Richie was awake, and cranky as all hell. Jet-
lag had finally caught up to her despite the much-needed sleep on the plane. And 
as the bright morning sun rose higher into the sky, all she could think about was 
going to bed. 
	Until she stepped outside, and saw paradise.
	Clear water ran up onto the shores of pure white sand. The sea air 
filled her lungs, invigorating her at once with its fragrance.  The tell-tale 
footprints of pelicans were the only sign of life. Few men had found their way 
here. And in the distance, an enormous two-story house smiled invitingly down 
upon them, the only indication that civilization had reached this remote Shangri-
La.
	It was the most beautiful beach she had ever seen.
	But no, she thought sadly, that wasn't true. And her heart filled with 
emotion as she realized why he had bought it.
	"It reminded me of Kauai," he said softly at her side. He had read it on 
her face.
	"I know," she said, keeping her gaze on the beach as she avoided his. 
And she couldn't tell him how much it affected her just to be here. How much it 
brought those moments flooding back to her at a time when she least wanted 
them to intrude upon her grief. "It's beautiful, Nick," she said, finally looking at 
him. There. That was innocent enough.
	"Well, it's your home. Our home. As long as you want it to be. And no 
one will find Niki here."
	She wanted to cry. In relief. In sorrow. In regret. For Nicolette. For 
Steven. For Nick. For herself. For all that had been lost. For all that had never 
been.  Natalie struggled to take hold of herself. She couldn't let loose her 
feelings now, not while Nicolette and Richie needed her to be strong. Soon she 
would be alone, and then she could indulge herself in the myriad of emotions
	that were threatening to erupt. 
	Suddenly Richie was running up to her excitedly. "Mommy, I love this 
place!" She scooped him up into her arms, hugging him tightly, burying her face 
in his neck. 
	"So do I, sweetie," she said softly. And over his shoulder, she allowed 
herself to look at Nick, watching them with such a bittersweet smile. What was 
he thinking now? What was he feeling?
	"Come on. Let me show you the house," he said simply.
	Richie scrambled to get down, running after Nick. Natalie turned to 
see Nicolette watching distractedly.
	"Come on, Niki," she said, and put her arm out to her.
	It was a mansion. At least, as far as beach houses went. It was split-
level, with a huge living room, dining area and kitchen on the ground floor, and a 
winding staircase leading presumably to the bedrooms. The entire house had 
been decorated with warm sea-blue rugs, and furniture in soft beige and blue 
combinations. And everything was showroom new. The sea air mixed with the 
smell of freshly cut carpets and fabrics. Richie was running around, touching 
everything. "Look, a TV...and VCR...and laser disc player...CD player...."	
	"Honey be careful," Natalie warned, but Nick waved her off.
	"Let him play," he told her. These were all of Nick's own personal 
"toys", and in his smile she saw the little boy within him that was enjoying 
watching Richie play with them.
	"You don't know how much destruction a little four-year old boy can 
do," she warned him.
	"I was pretty destructive myself when I was his age," he informed her.
	"You must have been the terror of the castle," she said wryly.
	"I was," he intimated. He made a sweeping motion over the house. "So 
what do you think of it, Nat? Do you like it?"
	"Do you even have to ask?" 
	He smiled, and turned to Nicolette. "What about you, Niki? Do *you* 
like it? I want you to feel comfortable here. And safe."
	Natalie could see how much her approval meant to him. Their daughter 
had said very little since their brief conversation on the plane, and Natalie knew 
that that small connection they had begun to forge had only made him long for 
more. But she also knew that it would take time. Nick would have to be patient.
	With all of them.
	"It's really nice," Nicolette replied, then glanced again out the window 
at the gentle waves washing over the sand. "Not exactly how I pictured Greece, 
though. I guess I thought it would be more like it was in *Hercules* and  
*Xena*."
	Nick looked at her quizzically. "I know who Hercules was, but who's 
Xena?"    
	Nicolette's eyes opened wide in amused astonishment. "You never 
heard of Xena: Warrior Princess?"
	He shook his head, looking at Nat helplessly.
	"They were TV shows in the late nineties," she explained, rescuing 
him. "Niki and I used to watch them when she was little. Xena was her favorite."
	"They've been on in repeats and out on tape for years,"  Nicolette told 
him, still not believing  his naivet‚. 
	"I never watched a lot of TV," he said, although Natalie could tell he 
felt like an utter failure for not being up on popular culture.
	"That's what comes from sleeping all day and working nights," she 
teased him. "Your father's never been much into TV, Niki. Although we used to 
watch a lot of movies on video..."
	Nicolette said nothing, and Natalie knew at once that her silence was 
in response to her having referred to Nick as Niki's father. *Don't push her, 
Nat.* she reminded herself.  *Give her a chance to get used to the idea...* But 
she realized that she wanted Niki to accept Nick, to grow to love him, just as 
much as Nick wanted her to. How many times over the years had she fantasized 
about what it would be like to bring them together? And yet she had never 
imagined that the circumstances would be as they were now. Niki's grief--and 
guilt--over Steven's death were as great as her own. How could either of them 
relate to Nick until they had overcome that?
	 Nick must have sensed the sudden tenseness in the air, for r he broke 
it with, "Well, you must be really tired with the time change and all. Why don't 
you come upstairs and I'll show you the bedrooms. There's four, so everyone can 
have their own. Just pick whichever you like."
	He started up the stairs when suddenly Richie came running over to 
him. "Nick! Nick!"
	Nick bent down to face him. "What is it, Richie?"
	He held out a videotape. "Your VCR doesn't work. I can't play any of 
my tapes."
	"That's because they use a different system in Europe," he explained.
	"How will I see my tapes?" The boy looked as if he would cry.
	Natalie could see how deeply her son's distress, even over so small a 
matter, seemed to bother Nick. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's okay. 
While you go to sleep, I'm going back to Crete to buy us some food and stuff. 
You just tell me which tapes you want, and I'll try to find them. When you wake 
up, they'll be waiting for you. Okay?"
	Nick's face lit up with Richie's, and the boy ran though a list of what 
he wanted. Nick listened carefully, and Natalie was sure that even in his mortal 
state he was easily committing it to memory. "Come on, now," Nick told him 
when he'd  finished. "Why don't you go pick out which bedroom you want?'
	Natalie watched her little boy as he ran up the stairs, looking back to 
see if Nick was following. And it warmed her heart to see how much they had 
taken to each other. Richie was too young to really understand the impact of 
what had happened. He would need a male figure to look up to. And Nick, with 
his great love of children, with his easy manner with them, would certainly fit the 
bill.
	"Why is *he* being so buddy-buddy with Richie all of a sudden?" 
Nicolette asked her in obvious annoyance.
	"Because Richie needs him," was her first response, but she added, 
"And because he cares."
	Nicolette did not respond. But Natalie was sure that only one thing 
had motivated her daughter's words.
	Jealousy.
	Not a desirable trait by any means. But in this case, it might just be a 
good sign.
 

	Nicolette had chosen a large room with a view of the sea, facing west 
and away from the morning sun. The bright light still hurt her eyes, and she 
pulled the shades closed to shroud her little domain in darkness. Even then she 
could still make out the bright pastel bedspread, the light blue carpet, and the 
large painting of a small island town with tall white windmills. The huge queen-
sized bed called out to her. She knew she was exhausted enough to be out the 
moment her head hit the fluffy pillows. And yet as she changed into a long T-
shirt and fell back onto the bed, her mind was racing.
	She liked him. And a part of her hated herself for it. But she liked him. 
How could she not? He was everything her mother had described and more. 
Handsome, caring, strong and protective, yet gentle and, in some ways, shy.  He 
seemed the type of man any girl would be proud to have as a father. And  
knowing that he was her father, that he and Mommy had loved each other so 
much, that she was a part of their love...it was exciting, romantic....
	Yet even feeling that way filled her with guilt. She'd had a perfect 
father. And lost him. How would he feel if he were up in Heaven watching them 
now? How could she be loyal to him, to his memory, if she let this other man 
into her life, into *their* lives?
	But...he *was* her father.  And he'd lived without them, suffered 
without them, for the past thirteen years. How must it have been for *him*? How 
must it have felt to learn that Mommy had loved someone else, that *she* had 
loved another man as her Daddy? And how must she have hurt him when she'd 
told him that he wasn't her father, that her father was dead?
	Yet her guilt over hurting him went hand in hand with her own 
growing resentment. Had her parents really made the only choice possible? If 
being together would have been so dangerous, then why was he here now? And if 
it were all right for him to be here with them now...then why hadn't it been 
possible before?  
	And why was he here? To protect her? Or to be with Mommy? She'd 
seen the way they looked at each other, spoke to each other. In another time and 
place, it would have been sweet, romantic, but now, only two days since Daddy's 
murder...
	...it was simply wrong.
	And why had he grown so close to Richie? Did he really want to help 
him get through a terrible tragedy? ...Or was he purposely doing it to hurt her, to 
make her feel guilty for how she had spoken to him, to make her jealous...? She 
was jealous, though she hated to admit it.  He was *her* father after all, not 
Richie's...Why should he give Richie all the attention and love she had been 
denied....?
	But, then again, hadn't Richie's father loved *her*? And wasn't liking 
this man, longing for the time they'd lost, being disloyal to Daddy all over again?
	She couldn't think about it any more. And she couldn't sleep. Maybe 
Mommy was still awake. Maybe they could talk about it, and she could help her 
make sense of her feelings like she always did.....

	Nicolette tiptoed down the darkened hallway  to the large room her 
mother had chosen. Natalie had insisted on Nick's taking the master bedroom,  
and she'd chosen the one right next door, with pretty blue curtains and a flowery 
bedspread on the king-size bed.  Across the hall, Richie slept in the smallest 
room, close enough for his mother to hear him. Nicolette peeked in on him, to 
find him fast asleep. She turned to her mother's door, and the voices inside...
	He was there. Talking to her. Keeping a distance as she sat on the bed. 
Standing, watching her as she wrote something on a pad....
	Nicolette knocked on the open door, almost wishing she hadn't come 
here. She didn't want to see him. She couldn't even deal with her thoughts about 
him, much less look him in the eyes.
	"Come in, honey," her mother told her with a tired smile. "I was just 
making up a shopping list for Nick. He's going back to Crete to buy us some 
supplies. Is there anything special you want or need?"
	"No, I don't think so--" Suddenly it dawned on her. She turned to 
Nick. "Wait--why are you going to Crete? Isn't there a town or something here 
on the island?"
	But she knew the answer long before he could reply.
	"No, Niki--we're all alone here. It's a private island."
	How could she not have realized? How had she been so stupid? "You 
mean--no stores, no people...?" No escape. Nowhere to go alone. To not think of 
him. To not see him with Mommy, with Richie....
	"We can get everything we need on the main island. Or we can go to 
Athens. We've got the plane, and a yacht--" he tried to explain.
	Why couldn't he see that that just wasn't enough? "We can't spend the 
rest of our lives here--just the four of us! What about other people?!" She looked 
at her mother pleadingly. "How am I going to have friends--meet boys--go to 
school?"
	"Niki, it won't be forever," her mother promised, trying to soothe her. 
	"I'm not going to stay here! This is crazy!" she cried, her eyes 
brimming with tears of panic. 
	"You have to," her mother said sternly, her weariness making her seem 
a little less patient than usual.  She stood up to face her, placing her hands on her 
shoulders, measuring every word as she reminded her, "We're doing this to save 
your life."  
	"What kind of life is it if I have to live like a hermit on some island?" 
she yelled.
	"It's the only way right now!" Natalie replied sharply, matching her 
volume.  
	"Well, if this is my only other choice then maybe I'd rather be dead!"
	She watched her mother's face as it was drained of all color. Her lips 
were parted in a gasp, her eyes filled with pain. The anger was gone. But seeing 
the pain was much worse. Her mother hesitated, as if not sure what to say, and 
suddenly he was there, in her face, furious.
	"Don't you ever say anything like that again, do you hear me?!"
	For a moment she was taken aback, never having seen him enraged like 
this. But her surprise was replaced by sudden outrage. How dare he speak to her 
like this! "What right do you have--?"
	"Oh, I have the right, Nicolette," he broke in, not even letting her 
finish. "Because your mother and I gave up *everything* to protect your life! 
And I won't let you upset her by talking like this!"
	She had upset her mother, and she knew it. But his words, his anger, 
had brought her own bubbling to the surface. And now it would all erupt. She 
couldn't stop the flow of emotions that had begun to spill forth.
	"What did *you* do to protect me?!" she cried. "You took the easy 
way out! You just sent us off and let Mommy worry about taking care of me all 
these years! I don't even know why you're here now!"
	"Do you think it was *easy* to let her go, Niki?!" he responded, 
incensed by her words. "Do you think it was easy to live without her, wondering 
where she was, if she was all right...not knowing anything about my own child?! 
Do you really think that was the easy way out?! We did what we had to to protect 
you!"
 	She could see the tears coming to his eyes, hear the cracking of his 
voice. But she couldn't hold it back. It was too late for that. "Then why," she 
asked, tasting her own tears as they fell to her lips, "Why, if it's safe for you to 
be with us now...why couldn't you be with us then? What's so different now?!"
	She knew she'd struck a chord with him, as he hesitated before saying, 
"The truth is, Niki, it's just as dangerous now as it was then. The only difference 
is, that no matter how safe your mother and I thought you would be, you weren't. 
They found you. It's simple to say now that we should have done things 
differently. But we bought you twelve years of a normal life. If they had found 
out about you while your mother was pregnant, you might both be dead right 
now."
	"Then you should have run away with us back then," she wept, as 
much for his pain as for hers. "Then none of this would have happened, and 
Daddy wouldn't be dead!"
	Her mother had said nothing for the longest time, but now she stepped 
up to them, grabbing her by the wrist and bringing her to face her. "Don't blame 
him, Niki," she said, her own eyes filled with tears. "If you want to blame 
someone, blame me! He begged me to stay. *I* was the one who left! I've told 
you that."
	"Because he scared you into going!"
	"No! Because I thought it was what I had to do! But *I* was the one 
who left. And *I*  was the one who married Daddy knowing that I'd be placing 
him in danger. So if you want to blame someone for everything that's happened, 
blame me! Not your father!"
	"Nat, no--"
	"No, Nick, I won't have her talking to you like that, not after 
everything we've all been through." She turned back to her daughter. "You're not 
the only one this has been hard on--"
	Guilt was overpowering her now. For what they had endured for her 
sake. For what she was putting them both through now. Yet she was still too 
angry, too overwhelmed with everything that had happened, to even think of 
relenting. She hadn't asked for this. She hadn't had the choices they'd had. Her 
fate had been decided by them. And she was just as powerless now as before 
she'd even been born.
	"You knew what I would be!" she spat at them, blinded now by her 
tears. "You both knew! You should have just aborted me and been done with it, 
and then I wouldn't have ruined your lives like this!"
	She ran away before they could answer, and collapsed on her bed, 
crying. If she had been miserable before, this was much, much worse. Towards 
the end, she hadn't even known what she was saying. She'd merely lashed out in 
her own anger and pain, not caring if she hurt them. And she had. And she knew 
it. And she was sorry. But she didn't have the strength to face either of them. 
She'd escape in sleep. And if she was lucky, she'd never wake up. 



	Natalie felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. How had she 
let this happen? How had she been so absorbed in her own grief and confusion 
that she'd failed to see what had been brewing inside her daughter? She stood for 
a moment in shock at Nicolette's last words, until Nick's voice snapped her back 
to the urgency of the moment.
	"Oh God, Nat, what have I done?"
	She looked into his eyes, at the anguish that reflected her own. "What 
have *we* done, Nick," she corrected him.  "I've got to go to her," she told him, 
and began to follow her.
	"Nat, wait, I should go too--"
	She turned to him, feeling his helplessness at a role in life that eight 
hundred years had not prepared him for. She touched his hand. "No, Nick, I have 
to do this. She doesn't know how to deal with her feelings about you. Let me 
calm her down..."
	He nodded his understanding and she was out the door, knocking on 
Nicolette's a moment later. She could hear her muffled sobs, but there was no 
response. "Niki," she called. "It's Mommy. Please let me come in..."
	The crying seemed to stop for a moment as she considered it, and 
finally called, "Come in..."
	She was sitting on the bed, her face red from crying. For the first time 
in twelve years Natalie didn't know what to say to her. How to make this 
situation better? How to resolve issues that might take months, years, to be 
completely resolved? She sat on the bed, and was relieved as Nicolette reached 
out to her, throwing her arms around her neck. 
	"Mommy, I'm sorry!" she sobbed. "I didn't mean to upset you! Please 
don't be mad! I'm sorry!"
	"Oh, Niki," she whispered, her tears of relief falling as she hugged her 
daughter tightly. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I was so upset myself about 
everything, that I didn't realize all these things were going through your head."
	For a long time Natalie held her until she had cried it out. Just holding 
her felt so good, just knowing that what had happened in the last few days had 
not damaged their closeness. Finally, Nicolette pulled away from her slightly to 
look at her.  "He must hate me, doesn't he?"
	"Oh, Niki," she said, shaking her head, "Of course not. How could you 
even think that? He loves you just as much as I do. He thinks its all his fault that 
you're so unhappy."  
	"I ruined your lives," she said, measuring her words carefully. "If it 
hadn't been for me--"
	"You *are* my life," Natalie told her in no uncertain terms. "You and 
your brother are all I have."
	"You have him," she pointed out.
	Natalie tried to obscure from her daughter just how uncomfortable that 
topic made her as she replied, "Niki, I don't know if something will happen in 
the future between me and your father. That was all a long time ago, and right 
now, that's the last thing I want to think about. But I need you to believe me 
when I say that neither he nor I ever thought of *not* having you. We knew what 
you would be, yes, but we loved each other, and loved you, and wanted to have 
you, at any cost. And neither of us has ever regretted the decisions we made. 
What he said was true. If I hadn't gone away, they would have known about you, 
and at the very least hey would have taken you away from us. We couldn't let 
that happen then, and we won't now."
	Niki breathed deeply. "I know.  I just feel like it's because of me that 
you had to be apart--"
	"Sweetie, listen to me. You are the only one here who is totally 
blameless. I want you to stop feeling this way. And please, never say that you 
wish you were dead, or that you'd never been born."
	"I'm sorry...I know it upset you..."
	"It upset both of us, Niki. Just promise me that you'll never even think 
for one minute that we're sorry we had you. I swear to you that we're not."
	She nodded, and Natalie hugged her. "I love you, baby," she whispered 
in her ear. "I love you so much!"
	"Me too, Mommy," she replied, kissing her on the cheek. "Just please, 
don't cry."
	Only then did Natalie realize that there were tears streaming down her 
cheeks. She smiled through them at her daughter, satisfied that she had gotten 
through to her. "Why don't you get some sleep now," she suggested, brushing 
the hair from Nicolette's face.
	Niki settled back on the pillows. "What about...my father?" she asked 
slowly, as if trying to get accustomed to referring to him that way.
	"Do you want to talk to him now?" Natalie asked, hoping she would. 
She knew Nick was going out of his mind with worry.
	Nicolette thought about it  for a moment, then said, "Do you think I 
could wait until I wake up? I still feel bad about how I've acted towards him--but 
I'm not really sure how to tell him."
	Natalie was certain that anything she could say to Nick would make 
him feel better, but didn't want to push her. Better that Niki should speak to him 
when *she* was ready. "How about if I just tell him you're okay?"
	Nicolette was visibly relieved. "Thanks."
	Natalie hesitated for a moment. "Are you really okay now?"
	She nodded.
	"Just promise me that if you start feeling upset about anything--you'll 
talk to me."
	"But you've got your own problems--" she began to protest.
	"I don't care. You're more important to me. Do you understand?"
	Nicolette smiled for the first time in a long time. "Yeah,  I 
understand."
	Natalie breathed a sigh of relief.
	"Just one thing, Mommy. About my, um, father."
	"What is it?"
	"I just want you to know, that even though I haven't been too nice to 
him... I really do like him." She waited for a response, as if she had divulged 
something shameful.
	God, if only Nick had heard that! "It's okay to like him, Niki. He *is* 
your father. "
	She sat up in bed, bringing her head closer to her mother's in a 
confidential tone. "Do you believe that Daddy's in Heaven? That he can see us?"
	She did believe it. And that was what she had taught her children.  
"Yes."
	"Then if I like my father...if I start to love him....wouldn't Daddy be 
upset?"
	She was looking at her mother with such innocence, such expectation, 
as if her whole outlook on Nick, and her relationship with him, depended upon 
Natalie's response. Natalie took her daughter's hands in her own, and looked 
into her eyes as she said, "Niki, you loved Daddy. And he knew that. Nothing 
can ever change that. And no one can ever take that away from you. If you loved 
your father too, that wouldn't take away from what you felt for Daddy."
	"He...wouldn't be mad at me?" she whispered. 
	"No, sweetie. Of course he wouldn't." She paused, letting this sink in, 
before adding, "And Nick doesn't want to replace Daddy. He just wants to be a 
part of your life too." 
	"And yours?" Nicolette asked knowingly.
	It caught Natalie off guard, but she couldn't give her daughter anything 
less than a totally honest response. "I don't know," she said softly. "But that's 
something very different. And it's not something I think *I* can deal with 
anytime soon."
	Nicolette nodded her understanding. "Mommy, will you make a 
promise  too, to come to *me*, if you want to talk? I mean, I'm not a kid 
anymore..."
	"I know you're not," Natalie told her, not without a touch of sadness. 
Their situation had robbed her of any childhood she might have had left. She 
smiled at her tenderly. "I promise."
	Nicolette hugged her tightly. "Good night, Mommy."
	"Good night, Niki."

	Natalie closed the door behind her to find Nick waiting in the hallway, 
a nervous wreck. "Is she all right?" he asked, his forehead creased with worry.
	"She'll be fine," she assured him, then put her finger up to her lips and 
motioned for him to follow her back into her bedroom. She glanced in on Richie, 
relieved to see that he had slept through everything. Nick followed her, and she 
shut the door behind them.
	"Nat, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have said anything. But I just 
couldn't bear to hear her talk like that--and to see you so upset--"
	"Nick, it's okay," she told him. He was so distraught, and she wanted 
to calm him. But for some reason it had become so difficult to bridge the 
deliberate physical distance that they were keeping from each other. "Look, if 
anything it's my fault for being so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't 
see how upset she was. She's been through a lot, and she has a lot of issues to 
settle."
	"She hates me, Nat. I know it. She must."
	"She doesn't hate you, Nick. In fact, she told me that she was afraid 
you must hate her." Inwardly she smiled at just how similar they were.  Like 
father like daughter.
	"Doesn't she know how much I love her? Nat, I just don't know how 
to reach her. I'm not used to this. Please, tell me what to do--"
	"Just be yourself," she advised  him. "And give her time--"
	"What else did she say, Nat? About me? Anything?"
	"Oh, yeah, there was one thing," she said with a twinkle in her eye. 
	"What?" He was too tense to see her playfulness.
	"She said she likes you."
	His mouth dropped open. "Are you sure--she said that?"
	She smiled. "Excuse me--she said she *really* likes you."
	It warmed her heart to see his face light up.
	"She does?"
	"Yeah, and I think that's part of what's bothering her. She's afraid that 
if she loves you, that it's being disloyal to Steven. I tried to explain to her that 
it's not, and that you don't want to replace him, just be a part of her life--"
	She paused as Niki's question came back to haunt her.
	"And?" Nick asked expectantly, as if thinking she had something more 
to say.
	"She wants to talk to you, but she needed to clear her head and think 
over what she wants to say. She asked if it would be all right if she spoke to you 
when she wakes up."
	"It'll be more than all right," he said softly, his eyes moist. "Nat, do 
you think...maybe it's not too late...that someday she and I could be close? Make 
up for the time we've lost?'
	"It's never too late," she whispered. And she saw his expression 
change ever so slightly, and something in his eyes that she pointedly ignored.  
"I...really have to get to sleep now," she said awkwardly.
	"Nat, wait..." He reached out to touch her arm, and suddenly she 
cursed herself for having closed the door. She'd done it to keep the children from 
hearing them talk, but it had suddenly created an uneasy situation.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
	"What?" she asked, suddenly afraid to look him in the eyes.
	"It's about what you said to Niki...about your being to blame for 
everything that happened."
	She shifted uneasily, wishing he would take his hand off her arm, but 
not even thinking of how simple it would be to move out of his reach. "I've felt 
that way a lot lately," she replied. "Especially...responsible for Steven's death. If 
I hadn't involved him in my life--"
	"If I hadn't involved *you* in *my* life--" he nearly echoed her words, 
reminding her that she'd hated to hear him take on that guilt.
	"Oh, but it's different, Nick. I knew what I was getting involved in 
with you. I never told Steven until it was too late. I had no right to put him in 
danger."
	"And I had no right to put *you* in danger. When I told you I loved 
you, knowing that LaCroix would never let us be together. " She could see that 
the pain of that guilt still plagued him, and he had brought it up only to show her 
that he understood.
	"I did the same thing as you, Nick,' she admitted. "I loved him. And I 
wanted a normal life with him. I ignored the danger. I made believe it would go 
away--"
	His hand slipped down to take hers, squeezing it. "Nat, don't do this 
to yourself--"
	She looked into his eyes now. This was something he had to know. 
Something she'd hoped someday to be able to tell him. "I finally understand, 
Nick. If nothing else came out of this all, I finally understand you, and that 
desperate need to be happy, even if it means putting someone you love at risk. 
You did it with me, and I did it with Steven. And whatever else happens, I'll 
carry that guilt with me for the rest of my life."
	"It's not good for you, Nat. believe me. You have to forgive yourself 
sometimes."
	"Have *you*?" she challenged him.
	He couldn't answer. There was no answer. Finally he said, "I don't 
want to leave the island. Not with you like this...not with Niki upset..."
	She breathed deeply. "Niki's going to be fine. Really. Don't worry."
	"And you?" he asked tenderly, his deep concern written all over his 
face.
	"I need some sleep," she told him. She couldn't tell him she would be 
all right. She didn't know that.
	Reluctantly, he let go her hand. "I'll...be back in a couple of hours," he 
said, picking up the list she had left on her bed.
	And when he had gone, relief washed over her...
 	...and emptiness overwhelmed her.
	She lay down and closed her eyes, taking comfort in the fact that he 
would be back soon...and terrified at the realization of how much she needed 
him.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
            Nicolette was dreaming of a blue sea, and a hot sun bathing her in its 
warm glow. It was so peaceful in this place. Nothing to think of, nothing to fear, 
nothing to feel, but the cool water that enveloped her.
	Suddenly, the sun was much too hot. Her skin began to tingle, then 
sizzle with a searing pain. Her heart was pounding as she frantically looked 
about her for land, for a place to hide...But the sea was endless, and there was no 
sanctuary. A scream rose in her throat as even the water failed to extinguish the 
smoke that was rising from her body. Pain, such excruciating pain.....
	
	She awoke to find herself in the cool darkness of dusk. At first she 
forgot where she was, but anything was a relief from her nightmare. She jumped 
out of bed, ran to the window. The sea washed peacefully over the sand, as the 
sun sank safely below the horizon. She shouldn't fear it, but she did, and had 
ever since that morning in the pool. Her dream had evoked that fear, and she 
couldn't help but wonder if it had been an ominous omen of what was to come. 
Would her condition grow worse? Would her intolerance to the sun become so 
strong that she would be a prisoner of the night?
	She didn't want to think about that right now. No more than she 
wanted to think about the inevitable confrontation she would have to have with 
her father. Would he forgive her for the way she had acted, the things she had 
said? Was Mommy right? Would he still want to be a part of her life now, as 
miserable a start as they had gotten off to?
	She turned on the lamp to find her bag, and then she saw it sitting on 
the dresser.
	A boxed set of videotapes. A collection. "The Best of Xena: Warrior 
Princess." And with it, a note.
	"I hope maybe we can watch these together some time. I'm sorry I 
wasn't there to share this with you when you were little. But I'd really like to try 
to make it up to you, if you'll let me."
	It was unsigned. Perhaps he hadn't known just what would be 
appropriate right now. But it didn't matter. The sentiment was enough. And 
Nicolette wanted to cry. To think that she had been so mean to him, and still he 
reached out to her...
	She hurried to dress, knowing that the others must still be asleep. The 
timing would be perfect. She would talk to him. She was ready now. And she  
would set things right between them. Once and for all.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
	Nick squeezed the last of his purchases into the refrigerator, almost 
surprised when he was able to shut the door.   There. Enough food for a week, 
maybe two. He'd bought everything Natalie had requested, and chosen some 
Greek delicacies to treat them for dinner. He'd been gone four hours, longer than 
he'd expected. But the food shopping had been the least of it. There were the 
videotapes for Richie, the surprise for Nicolette...
	...and the supplies for himself that he'd slipped into the back of the 
fridge, in a plain brown wrapper. He'd been glad when the butcher had given him 
a strange look, though he'd made up a quite plausible lie to explain his need for 
animal blood. At least it was an uncommon request. It either meant that there 
were no vampires on Crete...or that they all fed on human blood. 
	He'd have to tell Natalie it was there; they might have to find some 
place to store the bottles to hide them from the kids. But the truth was, he didn't 
want even Natalie to see them. And he certainly dreaded for Nicolette to come 
across them.  But the time would come, wouldn't it, when they would all see him 
partake in his shameful nourishment? 
	Yes. He knew it would. But if he were lucky, it wouldn't be for quite a 
while. He needed time as a mortal. Time to walk in the sunlight with his 
daughter. Time to get to know her, and Richie, without the limitations of his 
vampiric form. Time to spend with Natalie....
	He could feel his heart beat faster just at the thought of her. How he 
wanted to hold her in his arms, kiss her deeply, make love to her as he hadn't in 
an intolerably long time...
	...and as he might not be able to for long, if the leitovuterine wore off.
	His body ached for her. And his heart ached for the emotional bond 
that had been broken between them--broken, but never severed completely. If 
only he could tell her how much he loved her, how lost he had been without her. 
Yet he dared not. Propriety, decency, begged him to wait. And wait he would. 
Forever if need be. 
	But even though he knew that *he* would wait, with resignation he 
accepted  that the beast would not. And if it should emerge before Natalie's 
wounds had healed, before she was ready to come back to him, then their 
opportunity to be together as they had been would be lost.
	He wanted her desperately. But he loved her even more. And so 
grateful was he to have her in his life again, that he would gladly repress his 
needs for the sake of hers. 
	Yet in the back of his mind, an errant thought continued to plague him. 
When time had dulled Natalie's pain, subdued her grief...would she still want 
him? Had his reappearance rekindled the love that had burned so brightly in her 
all those years ago? Or had her love for Steven extinguished the dying embers 
that she'd left behind her in Toronto?
	Seeing his ring on her hand had given him hope. And he held onto that 
hope, cherished it, as it gave him strength to be patient. Yet his desire to start 
anew with her was more powerful than his vampiric hunger had ever been. There 
were times when just being with her was painful. And the unspoken words 
between them left a silence that was deafening.
	A rustling of footsteps told him someone was coming. He looked 
towards the stairs to see Nicolette standing apprehensively, watching him.
	He smiled warmly at her. She was so beautiful. So precious. And no 
matter what happened between him and Natalie, Nicolette was proof of their 
love, the miracle that they'd created together. "Hi," he said simply. "I was 
just...putting some things away." She came towards him, and he knew that their 
angry exchange of last night was still on her mind. He wouldn't let her feel 
awkward because of it. There was still so much anger and pain she must deal 
with. He wouldn't add to it. "Are you hungry?" he asked pleasantly.
	She shook her head, and stepped towards him. "No, I just wanted to, 
uh, thank you... for the tapes. " She paused. "And the note."
	"You're welcome." He was glad his sentiment had gotten through to 
her. There were so many things he wanted to say to her. At least his written 
words had been a beginning.
	Nicolette eyed him, as if unsure of how to continue. "Do you think 
that maybe later...we could watch one together?"
	Nick could feel the warmth in his heart spreading throughout his entire 
being. "I'd really love that," he told her with feeling.
	She looked down. "This is really awkward, you know. "
	"I know," he said with understanding. "For me too. But I wouldn't 
miss a moment of getting to know you for anything."
	She looked into his eyes, the growing affection clear for him to see. "I 
don't even know what to call you. I mean, right now, `Daddy' is a little hard for 
me, because of--"
	"I know that, Niki," he broke in, wanting to spare her from having to 
explain it. "I only want you to do and say what feels comfortable. If you like, 
`Nick' would be fine to start with."
	"Are you sure?" she asked, though she seemed to take to that 
suggestion.
	He nodded, flashing her his most tender smile. "I'm sure."
	"Okay, then. Now that that's settled, there's something else." She took 
a deep breath. "I want to tell you that I'm really sorry. For last night...for the first 
time I met you...for everything." He could see a tear of relief in the corner of her 
eye as she said what had probably been very difficult.
	"Niki, it's all right," he assured her.
	"No, it's not," she told him, her voice shaky. 
	"You've been through so much in the last couple of days--"
	"But *you've* been through so much more," she said with feeling. "I 
was so mean to you...but I never wanted to hurt you. When Mommy told me 
about you, I *wanted* to meet you, to get to know you...But after my step-father 
was killed, I was just so angry...Please, don't hate me. Don't think I'm a nasty 
person, because I'm really not--"
	"Niki, listen to me," he said, in a voice filled with the emotion that her 
sadness had engendered in him. He put his hands on her shoulders. "I have loved 
you from the moment I heard your heart beating inside your mother's womb. 
Nothing could ever change that. Not the years when I couldn't know you, and 
certainly not a few angry words."
	"Then can we start over?" she asked hopefully.
	"This very minute," he told her, knowing that she must see the 
boundless love in his eyes.
	And then she hugged him. One moment they were speaking, and the 
next, her arms were around his neck. And he held her tightly, closing his eyes to 
blink back his tears, for all the embraces he had missed, and for this simple 
spontaneous act of affection that made up for everything. If only she could know 
what holding her like this meant to him. If only he had the words to express his 
joy.
	Even as she separated from him, he remained fulfilled. For it was a 
new beginning, and he would put more effort into being the father she needed 
than he had into anything before.
	"Maybe I am a little hungry now," she said, settling into one of the 
kitchen chairs. "Can you cook?"
	He gave her an apologetic face. "I haven't really had a lot of practice. 
But I brought some food from a restaurant--"
	When Natalie finally made her way downstairs they were sharing 
souvlaki and grape leaves stuffed with meat and rice.
	"Hi, Mommy," Nicolette said cheerily. "Nick and I were just having 
some souvlaki and...what are these called again?" she asked him.
	"Yapraikia," he told her.
	She repeated the word. "Practicing my greek. Nick said we can go to 
Crete tomorrow. And maybe Athens one day soon."
	Natalie raised her eyebrows, but her expression showed how terribly 
pleased she was to see them like this.
	"I was thinking, Nat," Nick told her. "As long as we get back before 
nightfall, even if there were vampires there, no one would spot us in the daylight. 
There's no reason why we can't do a little sightseeing--"
	"And shopping--" Nicolette reminded him.
	"Yes, shopping," he said. "After all, Nat, you guys didn't bring a lot of 
clothes...You don't even have bathing suits..."
	"Sounds great to me," she replied, sitting down and picking up a 
skewer of  lamb and vegetables.
	Nicolette jumped up from her chair. "Mommy, I want to show you the 
present Nick brought me--I `ll be right back..."
	Nick knew he was grinning from ear to ear as she left. "Well, Nat? 
What do you think?'
	She nodded to the souvlaki in her hand. "I think Schanke would be 
very proud of you..." she teased.
	He laughed. "No, I mean...you know what I mean!"
	She took his hand, squeezing it. "I think you and your daughter are 
going to be just fine."
	He put his hand over hers, then lifted it to his lips.
	He was already too high in the clouds to realize that she had let him 
brush his lips against her fingers without the slightest hesitation.


	Their first trip to Crete was purely a shopping spree. It was true that 
they had virtually no clothes, so Nick insisted they buy a whole new wardrobe. 
Iraklion, the capital city, was replete with quaint little shops where they could 
find almost anything, though one or two department-type stores offered a wider 
selection. They walked for hours through the narrow streets, both Nick and his 
daughter wearing dark sunglasses to protect them from what seemed to their 
sensitive eyes an overpowering glare. As far as her fear of being isolated, 
Nicolette seemed perfectly content, even finding young boys her age that spoke a 
bit of English.
	"Isn't she too young to be talking to boys?" Nick asked Natalie as they 
sat at an outside cafe sipping lemonade. Richie had run off to follow his sister as 
she traded language lessons with a dark-haired Greek boy who seemed to find 
her fascinating.
	"She's only talking, Nick," Natalie admonished him with a grin. "My, 
we've become an overprotective father in a short period of time. What are you 
going to do when she really starts to have boyfriends?"
	"I don't think I'm ready for *that*," he admitted, watching his little 
girl out of the corner of his eye. He turned to her mother. "She's really a terrific 
kid, Nat," he said, not without a sadness for the childhood he had not shared 
with them. Then he added, "They both are."
	"Nick, I want to thank you for giving so much attention to Richie," she 
said seriously.  "I don't know if this has all really hit him yet, but having you 
around has really helped."
	"You don't have to thank me, Nat," he replied. "I *like* spending time 
with him. Besides, Steven raised my daughter when I couldn't, and I'm grateful 
for that. The least I can do is look after his son." He'd tried very hard not to say 
it in a way that might make her feel uncomfortable, as if he were assuming 
something about their future together. He breathed a sigh of relief as she seemed 
to take it in the sense in which he'd meant it.  So he dared to go one step further 
as he said, "He's your son. How could I not love him?"
	He saw her shift uncomfortably, and he cursed himself for his 
boldness. He knew he'd said nothing wrong, and yet he'd implied something she 
wasn't prepared to hear.  He quickly changed the subject. "It's getting late. 
Maybe we'd better go."
	She nodded, standing up quickly as if she needed to get away. And his 
heart sank. He'd screwed up again. *Go slowly,* he reminded himself. Yet 
another part of him argued that time was running out. 


	Natalie stepped into the clear water of the Mediterranean, marveling at 
how warm the water was for this early in the summer. In the six weeks they'd 
been here, this was her first attempt at having a swim. In part this had been due to 
the way she'd steered away from beaches in general since that time in Kauai so 
many years ago. In part it was due to her bathing suit. The selection in Iraklion 
had not been extensive; even less extensive was the coverage that this particular  
style provided. Fashions were a lot less modest in Europe than in the United 
States. Then again, most women here, from what she'd heard, went topless. 
Natalie felt just a small step away from that. The bikini top barely managed to 
cover her breasts, and the bottom revealed a little more of her, uh, bottom,  than 
she'd like. She'd bought it just to have something, but had never had the nerve to 
wear it in front of Nick. Not that she was concerned about it having any effect on 
him. On the contrary, she simply was too self-conscious to let him see her like 
this. Thirteen years and two children later, she was still in decent shape. But 
even a few extra pounds made her uncomfortable. Especially when he still 
looked so magnificent.
	That was why she was here now, a little after midnight. They were all 
asleep, and she'd decided to take some time for herself. To swim. To relax. To 
think.
	The water was so shallow that she'd walked out several yards and it 
was still up to her knees. Nick had been with the kids whenever they'd gone 
swimming, but it suddenly worried her that they must have gone so far from 
shore. An image from her childhood, of the first scene in the movie Jaws, 
suddenly assaulted her. The young woman swimming at night had been the 
shark's first victim. There were no sharks here, were there? She didn't think so. 
But maybe she'd better not go too far, just in case....
	The water felt so good, so relaxing....and it was so calm that it was like 
swimming in their pool at home.
	Home. She wondered what had happened to their house, their things. 
How had Steven's family reacted to their disappearance? Were they worried, or 
simply furious at her for taking Steven's son away from them? She still felt guilty 
about that. But they'd had to leave, and it was something she would never have 
been able to explain to them. It had occurred to her once, for a fleeting moment, 
that maybe Richie would have been safer if she'd left him with his grandmother. 
But no, she could never have been separated from him. Not for a moment. He was 
her baby, and wherever she had to go, she would take him, protect him. That was 
what Steven would have wanted anyway.
	Steven. There wasn't a day when she didn't think of him. She missed 
him terribly.  Along with her children, he had been her entire life for the past ten 
years. She didn't think she could ever stop loving him, and missing him. She 
wondered if it were true, as she'd told Nicolette, that he could see them even 
now. It was that image that Nicolette had put into her head that had  come back 
to her every time she'd felt Nick getting too close to her. Steven had been jealous 
of Nick without even knowing that he would resurface in her life. How would he 
feel to see them now? Living, as it were, almost like a family?  Would he be glad 
that Nick had been taking care of them, had hidden them away where they were 
safe? Or would he feel hurt, betrayed, to see this man, this vampire, slowly taking 
his place?
	Knowing Steven, probably a little of both. But she knew that Nick 
could never fully take his place, with her or with the kids. No more than Steven 
had been able to completely fill the void that Nick had left in her life. They were 
so different, each so much a part of her life. And, as she had come to realize....
	...she loved them both. What she felt now, this guilt over betraying 
Steven by feeling so much for Nick...wasn't it the same thing she had felt when 
she and Steven had first started dating? Even as she'd begun to fall in love with 
Steven, she'd held herself back as she'd imagined Nick, alone, miserable without 
her and the baby, wondering where they were. She'd still loved him, but she'd 
known that they would never be together again. And only that knowledge had 
finally set her free to love again.
	Now they roles were reversed. It was Steven who would never be back. 
And it was Nick who was here, so loving, so attentive. Only in this case, she was 
not falling in love with him. She still did love him,  and had never stopped. She 
loved him, and wanted him. She could admit that to herself now. But she still 
wasn't ready to let him know that. It was too soon. And she still hurt too much 
over Steven.
	And there was something else. Things were not as they had been 
before, and never could be again. Because the inevitable had happened.
	She was aging. And he had not.
	Perhaps the difference was not so great now. But it would grow worse 
and worse as time took its toll. And though he might be attracted to her even 
now, how long would that last? She couldn't stand the thought that he might 
someday stay with her out of obligation. And it was this entire issue that made 
her wonder if she could ever become involved with him again. Perhaps...perhaps 
he didn't even want to himself. Perhaps he truly was here now just to protect his 
daughter, protect them all. And once they were secure, maybe that would be the 
end of it.
	She couldn't bear that. But it might be for the best.
	The thought of losing him again nearly brought tears to her eyes. 
Enough thinking for now. *Just swim*, she told herself.
	She looked around, realizing that the shore was much further than 
she'd wanted it to be. And as she started back, she realized that the night air had 
gotten chilly, and she had goose bumps on her skin. Even the water seemed 
cooler.
	Finally, she was standing again, the water dripping from her as she 
walked through the shallow part back to the sand. And it was only then that she 
saw a lone figure watching her from the beach....  


	"Nick..." she said in obvious surprise as she came towards him. How 
long had he been standing there silently, watching her?
	"I'm sorry, Nat, I just got worried when I realized you were..." He 
stopped midsentence, his distraction clearly making him forget what he was 
going to say. In the light of the full moon, she had just walked into his view, and 
he was staring at her unabashed. A smile crossed his lips as he brought his eyes 
up to meet hers. "I'm sorry, it's just that this is the first time I've seen you, uh, in 
a bathing suit, since we were in Hawaii."
	His attention to her body was making her terribly self conscious, 
though his obvious appreciation of what he saw hadn't gone unnoticed. Only 
then did she realize that her wet suit must be clinging to her skin, leaving even 
less to the imagination than before. She didn't have to look down to know what 
effect the cool air was having on her breasts. God, no wonder he was staring.
	"It's been thirteen years and I've had two children. Be kind," she 
managed, though it did not come out as light-hearted as she'd meant it to.
	"I don't have to be kind," he said softly. "You're just as exquisite as 
ever."
	She could feel her body flush at his words. Instinctivbely she crossed 
her arms in front of her breasts. "It's cold," she said, but he didn't believe her.
	"You don't have to do that," he said tenderly. And before she could 
protest, his hands were on her shoulders, pulling her gently towards him as his 
lips sought out hers for a deep kiss.
	He had caught her so by surprise that she responded without thinking. 
Or perhaps she hadn't wanted to think, just feel, and react with her heart. She 
laced her fingers around his neck, unconcerned now about what he might see or 
feel. And as his mouth explored hers, his hands caressed their way down her 
neck, to her breasts, rubbing her nipples through the light material. And then the 
scant garment had been pushed away as the touch of his hands on her bare skin 
sent waves of heat through her.
	"Oh God, Nick," she murmured between kisses. "I don't know if--"
	"Shhh," he whispered, then silenced her with his kiss. He was holding 
her now so tightly, as if relishing the contact that they'd both avoided for so 
long. His caress worked its way slowly down her back, to the soft flesh of her 
bottom.   He had only seen her from the front, and she could feel his hands 
trembling as he realized just how much of her was exposed to him.  Cupping her 
in his hands, he pulled her against him, until she could feel his arousal pressing 
into her, her tiny bathing suit and his light shorts barely seeming to prevent them 
from melding together.  Her own desire for him was almost painful now. But 
even as her body longed to have him complete her, a small voice inside her 
begged her to stop. She wasn't ready for this. At least, not emotionally. And if 
they went forward too quickly, it could ruin everything. Slowly, she pulled her 
lips from his.
	"Nick, please, I don't want this--"
	"Yes, you do," he whispered, nuzzling at her neck.
	"No. I'm not ready. It's too soon--" she said, with all the insistence she 
could muster.
	At once, he stopped, and looked into her eyes.  His expression was so 
hard to read. Was he angry? Hurt? "Are you sure?" he asked. 
	"Yeah," she said, not without regret.
	He nodded, taking a deep breath as if trying to suppress his desire, 
clear his head. 
	"I'm sorry, Nick," she said. And she was--in more ways than one.
	"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said tenderly, reaching to fix 
her bikini top, covering her. There was nothing but concern for her in his eyes 
now. "I'm sorry, Nat. I just couldn't help myself. I wanted you so badly..." He 
paused. "I still do."
	"Don't be sorry for that, Nick," she said softly.
	"I won't let this happen again--unless I know you want it to," he 
promised, then added, "I just don't want you to feel awkward around me now. 
Uncomfortable..."
	"I won't," she assured him. "I just...need time."
	"You can have all the time you need, Nat.  I'm not going anywhere." 
He gathered her into his arms, hugging her tightly, then released her with a kiss 
on the forehead and a smile that melted her.	She took his hand, and he led her home. Part of her was relieved. But another wished they were still on the beach, making love.

	In bed, Nick couldn't stop thinking of her. They'd said their good 
nights, and he was pretty certain that no harm had been done to their 
relationship. If anything, it had left him with more hope that things would be the 
same between them again. She'd responded to his kiss, to his touch; she'd 
wanted him just as much as he'd wanted  her. She just needed time, she'd said. 
Well, he would keep his vow to give it to her. She was well worth the wait.
	He *was* angry at himself for not having more control. But she'd been 
so beautiful, so ethereal as she'd walked towards him from the water. He closed 
his eyes and imagined her as she'd been, the wet bathing suit clinging to her 
body, leaving little to his imagination and memory of her. He thought of the 
warmth of her skin, her softness, the heat that had emanated from her as he'd 
held her against him...
	...and he wanted her so badly that it was physically painful. He reached 
down under the covers to his own arousal, imagining that she was there, touching 
him...
	Suddenly, she was at the door. Her hair still wet and falling about her 
shoulders, still wearing the tiny swimsuit that revealed more than she'd wanted. 
She walked towards him, and he sat up in bed. "Nat?" he asked, confused. "What 
are you--?"
	"You were right, Nick," she told him steadily. "I do want you. And I 
don't want to wait."
	In disbelief he reached out to her, and in moments they were locked in 
a hungry kiss. And she was touching him, just as he had fantasized, running her 
hand up and down the length of him. He lay back, immoblized with pleasure as 
she kissed her way down his chest, his stomach...And then her mouth took over 
where her hands had left off, her tongue fluttering against his most sensitve area. 
He moaned in pleasure, begging her not to stop...
	Suddenly, she did...and he opened his eyes to protest, only to see her 
lowering herself onto him. And then he was enveloped in her moist warmth....
	Nick could barely breathe as he thrust himself up into her with the 
urgency of a desire that had been frustrated for too long. And as he erupted into 
her, he could feel her quivering around him in her own ecstasy, hear the beating 
of her heart, smell the passion in her blood...
	And as she collapsed against him, her passion spent, the sensation of 
her naked flesh against his excited him once more. But the desire was not for her 
body....
	He could hear a faint gasp as his fangs ripped into her. And suddenly, 
he was assaulted with the sum of her lovely being. Past and present melded into 
one--her love for him, her grief for the years they had been apart, her joy to be 
with him again...
	Her fear. Her terror. Through her blood she cried out to him to stop. 
But he had wanted her for so long, dreamed of her...
	He could not.
	Natalie fell against the pillow, lifeless, as he pulled himself from her, 
her precious life force still on his lips. And in horror he realized that he could 
not hear her heartbeat.
	In anguish, his entire being screamed up to the heavens.
	"Noooooooooooooooooo!"
	And he cradled her head in his arms, blood tears streaming down his 
face.  

	He awoke feeling as if he wanted to die. His world had come to an end. 
	Natalie was dead.
	Or was she?  His heart pounding, he sat up in bed, looked around the 
room...
	And relief flooded him. It had been a dream.
	No, a nightmare. One that had left him emotionally drained. Each 
sensation had been so real! The beautiful lovemaking. 
	The vampiric hunger. The taste of her blood.
	The anguish of her death at his hands. The one act in his sin-filled life 
which would drive him over the edge. Give him the strength to end it all...
	He breathed deeply, rubbing his eyes, looking at the clock. He'd been 
asleep less than two hours. Would she still be awake? Was there a way he could 
check on her without alarming her? 
	Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He nearly ran to it, double- 
checking that his pajama bottoms were really still on.  "Nick, are you okay?' she 
was calling.
	He opened the door to see her standing before him in a long T-shirt, 
sleep and concern in her eyes. "Nat--"
	"Are you okay? I heard you scream--"
	He drew her into his arms, hugging her tightly, not really caring what 
she would think. He had to hold her, feel her, know she was alive. "Thank God 
you're all right, Natalie..." he said, his voice choked with emotion.
	"Me?" she asked in surprise, letting him cling to her. "But I heard you-
-"
	"It was a nightmare. That's all," he told her, giving her a kiss on the 
cheek.  The dream had scared the hell out of him. But here she was, so warm, so 
full of life. He drank in the scent of her skin, her hair, her blood....
	In horror, he realized that he could smell her blood--and hear her heart 
as it beat more quickly to be near him.  Gently he released her, struggling to keep 
any sign of it from her.  "Thanks, I'm really okay. Just shaken up."
	"What was it about?" she asked, looking at him strangely.
	"I'll tell you tomorrow. Go get some sleep." He kissed her lightly on 
the lips, almost afraid to. Natalie seemed too tired to argue, and bid him good-
night.
	He listened to hear her close her bedroom door, then turned on his 
light. He stood in front of the mirror, closed his eyes, and when he looked up...
	The vampire stared back at him. He could see his own distorted 
features crease in his torment.  Why now? Why when they were so close?
	He wouldn't let it emerge. His body wanted nothing moe than to seek 
out the blood he'd left in the refrigerator precisely for this eventuality. But he 
wouldn't give in. Not yet.
	Quickly, before the thirst for blood could overpower him, he fumbled 
in his drawer for the syringe, and one of the many vials his friend Barbara had 
willingly supplied. He fumbled to tie the rubber strip around his arm, bent his 
elbow, made a fist...
	...and injected the fluid into his artery.  An explosion of stars 
threatened to blind him as the searing pain ripped through his body. It took all 
his best effort to silence the scream that threatened to erupt from him. Such 
pain...but to be with Natalie, to hold her, to walk in the sun with his daughter 
and Richie, to be a family with them...
	The pain subsided, and with it his urges. 
	The first dose had lasted six weeks. So long that he'd almost dared 
hope that he was cured. But he'd known that eventually it would wear off. And 
with each dose, his respite from his vampiric state would grow shorter in 
duration as the retrovirus within him mutated to stay alive. All he prayed for was 
more time. To be with Natalie, when the time was right. To get to know Nicolette 
without his vampiric nature clashing with hers, and alienating him from her.
	To keep LaCroix from sensing him, and finding them.
	He hid the syringe wiht the rest of his miracle drug. Natalie could not 
know. He wouldn't upset her. But he would be ever vigilant now. Aware of the 
slightest change in his condition, the merest hint that the drug was wearing off.
	His nightmare would remain just that. He would not let it become a 
prophecy of things to come.


	Natalie had spent most of the night trying not to think of what had 
happened, and what could have happened, on the beach.
	She'd failed miserably.
	After she'd returned from his room, sleep had eluded her. Now that the 
sun hung high in the sky, she was exhausted. Frustrated. Confused.
	She'd wanted him so badly, though the physical urge was only a 
fleeting part of it.  She'd tried so hard for the past six weeks to repress her love 
for him. Yet it burned more brightly than ever. And though her love and grief for 
Steven was still a part of her, would probably always be a part of her, so would 
her love for Nick. And perhaps she had lied to herself, lied to him, when she'd 
said that she wasn't ready to be with him.
	She was. Her own physical and emotional reaction to him had been 
proof of that. But she was terrified. For although she had no doubt now that he 
did want her, the nagging fact remained that she was older, and would grow 
older, as he did not. Perhaps it was vanity. No, more of an overwhelming fear 
that she would give herself to him again completely, only to lose him to the 
enemy whom she alone faced--
	Time.
	Wouldn't it be easier to keep what they had had in the past? To remain 
nothing more than friends, close friends, parents to their daughter....
	Who was she kidding?
	Certainly not herself. And not Nick, who had felt her love, her desire 
for him. Nick, who had hugged her again last night as he'd sought comfort from 
his nightmare, and had kissed her on the lips, sending an undeniable surge of 
electricity through her body. It was natural, and right, and they were falling into 
it again. But each time she looked into the mirror, she imagined herself growing 
older and older as he remained so handsome, so young...
	Why hadn't this ever occurred to her fifteen years ago? Perhaps she 
had felt the immortality of youth. Perhaps she had believed they would find a 
cure long before it became an issue. Had she given up hope for a cure now? Not 
really. But the greater the urgency to find one became, the less likely they would 
find it in time.        
	Then there was the other factor that had kept her from losing hope 
back then. As much as he'd protested that he would never do it, she'd always 
held a secret hope that if it came down to it, he would have brought her across. 
Rather than lose her. Rather than let time and death take them away from each 
other. She didn't know if he actually would have done it. But it was no longer an 
option now. She had children to care for. She had a responsibility to more than 
just herself now. And she couldn't let her own needs, or his, get in the way of 
what she owed them.
	Funny. That had been the justification to leave Toronto--and Nick-- 
thirteen years ago.
	She wanted to protect herself from being hurt. And hurt she would be 
if he had to watch her slowly aging before his eyes. She knew the best thing to 
do would be avoid it altogether, avoid any involvement with him...
	But when had she ever thought rationally, or played it safe, where Nick 
was concerned? With the exception of leaving to protect their baby, she hadn't. 
And she'd suffered for it, suffered with him...
	...yet he'd brought her more joy and love than she had ever known.
	It was like a gothic romance, where love and suffering were inxtricably 
intertwined.
	She smiled to herself.
	She's always been a sucker for a good gothic romance.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
       	Nick had played it safe over the next couple of weeks. A stomach virus 
had hit all of them, and it had been a perfect excuse not to leave the island. Even 
suffering his first serious illness in eight hundred years hadn't fazed Nick in the 
least. On the contrary, it made him feel all that much more human. And as his 
third week on the second dose of leitovuterine began, he was feeling optimistic 
once more. Maybe it would last a while. Maybe it would become a maintenance 
drug which his body would not reject, and which his vampirism would not 
mutate to render useless. There was always hope, wasn't there? And spending 
more time with Natalie, his daughter, and the little boy he'd grown to love as a 
son, filled him with more hope than he'd felt in a very long time.
	He hadn't repeated his boldness of that night on the beach. Knowing 
now that she wanted him, that all she needed was time, had given him the resolve 
to wait. Yet he had been quite open wiht his affection, quick to show her any 
tenderness he could--kissing her cheek, squeezing her hand, rubbing the knots 
out of her tired shoulders. And each time she responded, and he saw the love that 
was still in her eyes, it warmed his heart.  *Soon,* he told himself. *Soon.*
	But would it be soon enough to make love to her before it was too 
dangerous to do so?
	He hoped so. God, he hoped so. Sometimes his desire for her was 
unbearable. And yet, he would rather lose the opportunity, than do somehting to 
lose her.
	"Nick?" 
	Her voice brought him out of the fantasy that was about to begin. he 
looked up from where he lay on the couch, and smiled. "Hi, Nat. Feeling any 
better this morning?"
	"Yeah, a hundred percent," she said with obvious relief.  He brought 
up his knees to make room for her, and she sat at his feet. "Nick, I was thinking, 
we all could really use a day away from here..."
	He'd avoided this, afraid of what might happen if the leitovuterine 
began to  wear off again while they were outdoors. But two weeks without a sign 
of his beast had made him feel safe. Hwe could bring along an emergency dose, 
couldn't he? besides, her eyes were sparkling with the hope that she coudl 
convince him. he couldn't disappoint her.
	"Something different," she pleaded, her hand resting on his knee. Now 
he really couldn;'t turn her down.
	He placed his hand over hers. "Okay. What do you want to do?"
	"Maybe some sightseeing?" she suggested. "I know Niki's been dying 
to go see the ruins at Knossos ever since you told her about them. And Richie 
wants to see the cave where Zeus was born--"
	He grinned at her enthusiasm. "What about you? What would you like 
to do?"
	"Just spend a nice day together. The four of us." She'd said it in a low 
voice, as if she still felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought of them as a family. 
Yet as time  passed, that was what they were were becoming. And Nick loved it. 
He was absolutely tickled by it.
	"Why don't you go tell the kids. I just need to go upstairs and change." 
He kissed her on the lips, allowing himself to linger a moment longer than he had 
the last time.
	She didn't seem to mind. And he loved that, too. 



	Niki had argued against the long pants and sleeves, but had given in to 
the large brimmed hat, sunglasses and 45 Sunblock. Natalie couldn't help but 
keep a nervous eye on her; the heat was deadly, and the episode of two months 
ago was still in the back of her mind. But despite that omnipresent concern, the 
day was going wonderfully. Nicolette had inherited his father's love of 
archaeology, and was fascinated by the ruins of Minoan civilization. Nick had 
even piqued Richie's interest by telling him the story of the Minotaur, the half-
bull, half-man that had been kept in the labyrinths below.
	"Do you think it was real?" Niki asked him as she stared at the pit.
	"Sure it was!" Richie informed her. "It must have been like the 
Centaurs on Hercules and Xena, except they were half-horse."
	Niki just shook her head at her little brother, then looked up at her 
father. "But those things were all make-believe, weren't they?" she asked him 
seriously.
	"I don't know," he told her. "Look at the pit. The labyrinths were real. 
They must have kept something down there--"
	"But maybe it's just a legend." 
	Natalie smiled to see that some of her scientific thinking had rubbed 
off on her daughter.
	Nick bent down close to his daughter's ear and said, "Lots of people 
think vampires are just legends too..."
	Her eyes opened wide at what he was implying, and she looked back 
into the labyrinths, swallowing hard.
	Later, as they sat in the taxi speeding much too quickly towards their 
next stop, Natalie was feeling pretty good. They *had* had a nice day so far. 
Except for the pretty young tour guide that had paid a little too much attention to 
Nick....
	How old must she ahve been? Twenty five? Thirty?
	*Younger than I am*, she thought grimly. she tried to push the thought 
from her head as she focused back on Niki's words. 
	"Mommy said you were an archaeologist too once," she was saying. 
	"I was an archaeology professor about fifty years ago," he told her, 
remembering it fondly.
	"Fifty years ago!" Niki exclaimed in shock. "Gee, that's liek five years 
before Mom was even born!"
	Natalie shot her a sharp look, and murmured, "Thanks a lot for 
reminding everyone of my age, Nicolette."
	Niki looked at her guiltily with a silent apology, and only then did 
Natalie realized how harsh she had sounded. Nick was oblivious to what had   
transpired--God bless him for being so thick sometimes! But Natalie shifted 
uncomfortably as she became painfully aware of how much the age issue was 
really beginning to bother her.


   	A donkey ride up an extremely steep mountain did wonders to make 
one forget one's worries. Especially when your donkey's hoof kept flirting with 
the edge. Natalie was glad Nick had insisted that Richie ride with him. If her 
donkey were to miss its step, she didn't know if she would have the reflexes and 
strength to hang onto the edge of the mountain, much less do so with one hand, 
while hanging onto a four-year old with the other.  Nick and his daughter both 
seemed not in the least perturbed by the danger. *Damn it*, she thought, *maybe 
I am getting old...*
	At the top, Natalie heaved a sigh of relief.
	"How was that?" Nick asked with a grin as he helped her off the small 
animal.
	"I wish you could still fly," she whispered in his ear. "I don't know if I 
trust this little guy to make it back down. Did you see how his hoof kept 
slipping?"
	He kissed her on the cheek. "Where's your sense of adventure?"
	She peeked over his shoulder at the town below. "I think I left it 
somewhere down there."
	He smiled as he set her down. "But look at this view. Isn't it beautiful?"
	And it was. For a long moment they stood holding hands as they 
looked out over the mountain to see the tiny houses and windmills of the nearby 
village. In the distance, the calm waters of the Mediterranean lapped at the 
island's shore. "It *is* lovely. And I don't think I've ever been this high up," she 
mused. "This mountain is taller than the CN tower."
	"Are we going into the cave?" Richie asked excitedly.
	Natalie bent down to him. "Only if you promise to hold my hand. Nick 
said it's very dark and slippery."
	"I promise." He held out his hand to show her he was ready.	
	"Okay, let's just find Niki--" She turned around to where her daughter 
had been admiring the view. She wasn't there. "Niki?" she called, trying to keep 
the alarm from her voice.
	"Mommy..." 
	She was leaning against her donkey as if unable to stand. Pulling 
Richie by the hand, Natalie ran to her. "Sweetie, are you okay?" she asked in 
worry, touching her arm.
	"I just feel so hot all of a sudden..." And as her daughter looked up at 
her, Natalie could see the gold flecks that had made their way into her eyes.
	Natalie gasped, and her heart began to race. "Nick!" she called, but he 
was already at her side.
	"We've got to get her out of the sun," he said, taking the girl into his 
arms  to shield her. Though it was late in the afternoon, the sun was burning hot 
above them. And Natalie realized in horror that except for the cave, the 
mountaintop was completely open.
	There was no place to hide. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
           "Nick, do something, please!" Natalie said in a hushed whisper so that the 
other tourists wouldn't hear them. She could see that Nicolette's arms and legs 
were sunburned where they had been only lightly tanned just minutes before.
	"Please, I feel like I'm on fire!" Niki moaned, burying her face in her 
father's chest. 
	Nick scooped her into his arms, rushing to the cave entrance with 
Natalie and Richie close at his heels. "I need to get my daughter out of the sun! 
She's very sick!" he told the guide in perfect Greek. The young man eyed him 
suspiciously, but motioned for them to pass.
	Once inside the cool dark cavern, they heaved a collective sigh of 
relief. Nick hugged his daughter to him until she seemed able to stand by herself.
	"Please take me home," she whimpered, looking at them with fear in 
her  eyes, now back to their normal blue. "It hurts so bad--like I'm burnt all 
over!"                                                                                                                                                                                
	"I know," Nick said, soothing her. And he did know. More than he 
would let on. And he was grateful that in the darkness Natalie couldn't see the 
burns on his own face, wounds that would heal long before they'd have to step 
back into the light. 

	
	They'd stayed in the cave until near dusk, gone back down the 
mountain and rushed to the airport. Nick was sure that in his deteriorating state 
he would sense any vampires about--but as providence would have it, there were 
none. 	The flight back to their haven had been a silent one. Despair had fallen 
upon all of them, even Richie, who had realized now that the episode back home 
in the pool had not been a freak occurrence. Nick and Natalie had tried to calm 
his fears, but  seeing  his sister in pain had terrified him. Niki had finally 
convinced him that she was all right, and he'd fallen asleep at her side.
	Once home, Nicolette had run up to her room, allowing only her 
mother to come in to smooth aloe over her burns. Nick had peeked in at the door 
to see if she was all right, and she'd looked at him strangely before assuring him 
that she was, and saying that she'd rather be left alone. Natalie had attributed it 
all to her depression over her state, but Nick knew better. And the truth that he 
could not yet reveal to Natalie filled him with dread.
	As his vampirism slowly reawakened, so would  his daughter's 
aversion to him.
	It was instinctual. Unavoidable. Yet even as he'd realized that the 
leitovuterine would wear off, he'd hoped that the relationship he'd been building 
with his daughter could weather the storm of emotions that his nature would 
evoke in her. She'd become friends with Janette, hadn't she, overcoming the 
natural fear and hatred? And yet how much stronger her connection to her father 
must be! How much more attuned they were to each other's nature! Could she 
feel his hunger? Could she sense the desire for blood that had been slowly 
growing within him over the last few hours? Did that alone make her afraid of 
him?
	Alone in his room, he locked the door, found the not-so-perfect 
miracle drug, and had his fix.
	Six weeks. Then two.
	How long would this dose last?
	The pain subsided more quickly this time. And as he heard the knock 
at the door, he fumbled to put away the tell-tale signs of his addiction. "Come 
in,' he called, and turned to see her.
	Natalie. He smiled, confident that at least now he could be close to her 
without the beast emerging. He held out his arms to her, and tiredly, she fell into 
them. He hugged her tightly, relishing the scent of her skin, the feel of her 
warmth against him. With regret he let her separate from him.
	Her eyes were filled with worry. "Nick, what are we going to do about 
Niki?"	
	"She'll be okay, Nat," he assured her, wishing he could tell her just 
how he knew so. But with all on her mind, how could he burden her with more?
	"She's so depressed....she feels as if she'll never be able to go out in 
the daylight again--"
	"But she will!" he promised her. "It comes--in cycles, in spurts..."
	"She could have died, Nick," she said, visibly shaken.
	He shook his head. "No, Nat. She would have been badly burnt, but 
that's all. She's  not a vampire."
	"But how do we know when it will happen again?"
	He knew. And he wished he could tell her. But as he saw the fear in 
her eyes, an awful thought occurred to him. And telling her that his vampirism 
was returning, that this was the cause of Niki's illness, suddenly became a far 
more threatening prospect than he'd realized.
	What if she decided to take Niki away? What if she thought the only 
way to keep Niki from suffering these attacks was to get her as far from her 
father as possible? If she knew that Nick's vampirism was the cause of their 
daughter's pain, what could he possibly say to convince her to stay? 
	And within him, torment raged. He wanted to be honest with her. He 
wanted her to be able to trust him with their lives. But was he keeping something 
from her that she had a right to know?
	"What about you, Nick?" she asked suddenly. "You looked really pale 
today. Are you holding up? Is the drug working?"
	His heart missed a beat, and he had trouble looking her in the eyes as 
he replied, "I'm fine." Less convincing than he'd wanted. But then, maybe he 
wanted to tell her the truth.  
	But if she had seen hesitation in him, she'd ignored it. 

	He wasn't fine. She knew it. But she didn't have the strength to 
question him. About his condition. About what insight he might shed on Niki's. 
She couldn't deal with any of this right now. It was all too overwhelming. For a 
life that had begun to feel damn near perfect was overflowing with flaws today. 
And she didn't want to think about that either.
	He was afraid, she could tell. Of something. And yet at this moment 
she had no desire to know what it was. Whatever it was, he would handle it. He 
would take care of it. He would protect them. And she was perfectly happy to let 
him do it. Ignorance would be bliss. Her brain was on overload, and she wasn't 
about to push herself over the brink. All she wanted was to relax, forget...
	His arms were so strong yet gentle around her; his lips so soft as he 
began to kiss her. And as they fell down onto the bed together, she wanted 
nothing more than to surrender herself completely to him. But as they held each 
other, they both seemed to know that tonight would not be the night. It wasn't 
yet time. And she wasn't yet ready. Was it the thought of Steven, gone only two 
months now, and how it would hurt him to see how easily she was falling into a 
relationship with Nick again? Or was it her own misgivings about what kind of 
future they could have as she grew old without him? She wasn't sure. But for 
now, the tender kisses that lulled her to sleep in his arms, were enough.

	He didn't want to press it this time. Nothing to push her away. 
Nothing to lose the moment, the joy of just holding her, kissing her like this as 
she fell asleep in his arms...
	This was enough.

	Nick stepped out into the bright morning sun, lettering the no-longer-
lethal rays bathe him in their glow. Almost two weeks had passed since his last 
dose of leitovuterine, and the urgency of wondering when it would wear off had 
pushed him to enjoy his mortality to the fullest. Each day he would lay out on 
the beach, reveling in the warmth on his face, his body. Sometimes he would 
build sand castles with Richie, or swim in the Mediterranean with Niki, who had 
miraculously not suffered another bout of photosensitivity since their return. And 
each day, he would sit with them at the dinner table and stuff himself until he 
could barely breathe. It was wonderful, although Natalie had joked that he was 
actually beginning to get a bit of a stomach...
	But his most precious moments had been spent with Natalie, laying on 
the beach together, or cuddling at night in front of a video, just as they used to so 
many years ago in his loft. They still had not made love. But each day brought 
them closer to the physical and emotional union that had once been theirs. There 
was no doubt in his mind that it would be theirs again. But he knew that a part of 
her still grieved for her husband. Only she could set the limits of propriety, of 
what felt right as each day passed. And he was only too happy to respect those 
limits. If nothing else, perhaps it would reaffirm to her his boundless love. For as 
much as he wanted her, all he had to do was think of how tortured his existence 
had been without her. To hold her now, to steal a kiss now and then, was simply 
heaven compared to the hell he had lived without her.
	Suddenly, a shout brought him from his peaceful reverie. It was 
Natalie, calling his name. In a flash he ran to the house, his heart pounding.
	His first thought was of Nicolette. But no, *he* felt perfectly fine. If 
his instincts were correct, she should be fine, too. But as he reached the house, 
he found Natalie cradling a screaming Richard in her arms, while Nicolette 
looked on worriedly.
	"What happened?" he asked in panic, kneeling to her side to look at 
the boy. His paternal instincts were overwhelming him.
	"He tripped and fell, and broke his front tooth," she explained quickly, 
clearly distraught to see her son in such pain. "The raw nerve must be exposed--
I've got to get him to a dentist--"
	"Let's go," he said, but she hesitated.
	"I don't want Niki to go to town. If she has another attack--"
	"I'm fine!" her daughter protested.
	"I don't want to take the chance," her mother said firmly, over Richie's 
howling.
	"Mom, come on, it's been a week!"
	"Niki, this isn't up for debate! I don't want to deal with this right now! 
I've got to get your brother to a dentist!"
	"I'll take him," Nick offered, looking from one to the other to end the 
discussion.
	Natalie paused for a moment, as if not sure she wanted to be separated 
from her child right now. He had calmed down a bit, and she asked him, "Richie, 
will you let Nick take you to the doctor?"
	He shook his head, burying it in her neck, as he clung to her in 
response.
	She looked at Nick helplessly. "I've got to take him. I've gotta be with 
him."
	"But how--?"
	"I'll take the boat."
	Nick looked at her dubiously. He had shown her how to handle the 
yacht to give her a feeling of independence, and she'd actually taken it out two or 
three times herself. But in her present state, was it wise to let her go alone?
	"I'll be fine," she assured him, as if reading his concern in his eyes. 
"And the hospital was right near the port--"
	"Okay, go," he told her, giving her a quick kiss. "But be careful, 
okay?"
	In moments, she had pulled out, and for a long while he watched the 
boat move swiftly away from the tiny port in their back yard. He wished he could 
be with her. These were the times when he wanted to be there for her, to support 
her and the children in those everyday emergencies that were the essence of a 
normal human life. Yet not knowing when his medication might give out, he was 
secretly glad that both he and Niki would be able to stay on the island. He 
couldn't chance another episode like the one on the mountain. He shuddered 
whenever he thought of what might have happened had they not been able to seek 
refuge in the cave. At least here on the island, they were safe.
	Their haven.
	Their home.
	It was to him. To Natalie and Richie, too. But as he turned to his 
daughter, watching longingly as her mother and brother went out into the real 
world, he saw the sadness that seemed omnipresent in her now.
	She was an adolescent. She needed more than this. A real life. With 
friends, school, parties...all the things he had taken her away from when he'd 
brought her here. And though he knew that he had done it to protect her, he 
wondered if she could really accept that. For a while she'd been satisfied with 
their day trips to Crete, the excitement of new places, a culture to learn about, 
people they'd meet on the way. But the last week of seclusion had disheartened 
her, as she'd realized that isolation might be her fate.
	"If I can't go out at night because there are vampires," she'd 
questioned him, "and I can't go out in the sun because it makes me ill--then what 
am I supposed to do?"
	He'd had no answer for her. Just vague assurances he feared he would 
not be able to keep. For what would happen to her--to them--once he was off the 
drug completely?   He would be, for all intents and purposes, the creature she 
feared most--a vampire. Would his vampirism bring out her nature to its fullest? 
And if it did, would either of them be able to control the instinctual aversion that 
might inevitably come between them?
	The death of the little dhampir, Milagros, haunted him. She had been 
Niki's age. And just being near her had engendered  more raw terror than he had 
ever known. He had been unable to control himself. And the possibility that that 
could happen now---
	No, it couldn't. The mere thought of bringing any harm to his little girl 
was so morally repugnant to him that he couldn't even consider it. And yet, self-
doubt had always been his downfall. How many times had Natalie told him that 
he had to trust himself as much as she trusted him? 
	He looked at her now, her blond hair, the color of his, blowing in the 
breeze, her blue eyes staring out at the sea. She was so perfect. And with the 
exception of Natalie, he had never realized he could love someone so much.
	No, he couldn't hurt her. Never.
	"Hey, do you want to go for a swim?" he asked, smiling at her.
	She didn't look at him. "What's the point? It's not like I'm ever going 
to be on a swim team again."
	"How about a walk, then? See the other side of the island?" he 
suggested. He knew he was pushing, but maybe this would be a good chance for 
them to get to know each other.
	She shrugged, still averting his gaze. "What's there to see?" she 
replied dully.
	"Come on, Niki," he prodded her, touching her arm. "Let's do 
something fun--"
	He stopped mid-sentence as the sensation washed over him. 
	Confusion. Cold.
	Foreboding. Threatening.
	Fear.
	She swung around to face him, and as their eyes locked, he knew.
	She had felt it too.
	"You're changing back, aren't you?" she whispered.  
		

	"Niki..." He reached out to touch her face, and as she shrunk away it 
broke his heart.
	"I feel it..." she said, her voice shaking. "You're becoming a vampire 
again."
	"Yes," he admitted somberly. 
	"The medicine...it's wearing off?" she asked, trying to appear unafraid.
	He nodded. "It has been for a while. I've taken it twice already since 
we've been here. But each time..." His voice trailed off. He was suddenly feeling 
the heat, and knew she must be, too. "Let's go inside."
	She followed him into the living room, sitting what he knew was a 
deliberately safe distance from him.
	"Each time...it wears off just a little more quickly," he explained to 
her. "It must be time for me to take another dose. That's why you can sense me."
	"When was the last time you took it?" she asked.
	He paused. He didn't want to tell her. But she had her mother's 
intelligence, and he could see that she had figured it out already. "When we came 
back from Crete," he replied.
	She nodded knowingly. "I thought so. That's why I had an attack when 
we were on the mountain. Because it was coming out in *you*. You took the 
medicine, and I've been okay ever since."
	"I think so," he replied, wishing he could be more certain. But damn it, 
he wasn't.
	"Then all you have to do is take it now...and then we'll both be 
better?"
	"I hope so," he said quietly. But he knew the next question before she 
could ask. It was the one he had dreaded, for he had no answer.
	"What happens when the medicine doesn't work anymore?"
	He could feel the lump in his throat as he responded truthfully, "I 
don't know, Niki."
	He could see her thinking long and hard about that. And he came to sit 
beside her, glad that she didn't inch away.  
	"Niki...this feeling...it's something we can't help. But you're my 
daughter, and I love you. I would never hurt you. I know I can control it, and not 
let it stand in the way of our being together." And he did know it. As he looked 
into her eyes, he knew it with all his soul. If only he could convince her, if only 
he could drive the fear from her eyes.. .
	"But what about the rest of it?" she asked desperately. "If your 
vampirism has this effect on me...I'll never be able to go out in the daylight 
again." Her eyes were filling with tears, and he realized suddenly that she was 
not as afraid of him as of what his long-term effects on her might be. But then, 
she didn't know of Milagros. Why would she even think she had to fear him?
	He reached to touch her face. "Niki, we don't know that...." It was a 
feeble attempt, but he was desperate to reassure her. The truth was that he had no 
idea what effect his vampirism would have on her in the long run. And once more 
the ultimate fear began to grip him, that Natalie would decide it was best to take 
Niki away from him. "It'll be all right," he told her, words meant for himself as 
much as for her.  
	Niki nodded bravely, trying to smile. And knowing that she was doing 
it for his sake made it all the more sweet. 

	He seemed so sad, so terribly sad, she thought looking at him. And in 
his eyes she could see the suffering of so many lifetimes, of an existence he 
hated as much as she knew he loved his life with them. And suddenly she felt 
terribly selfish in worrying about how all this would affect her. His condition, 
his future, at once seemed far more tragic. She couldn't stand to see him this 
way. He had been the hope, the one bit of happiness, for all of them in the last 
two months. And she knew now, had known for a while now, although she was 
not ready to admit it, that she did love him. He was, after all, her father, and his 
love for her, for her mother, even for Richie, was so clear. Instinctively she threw 
her arms around his neck, fighting the facet of their conflicting natures that 
threatened to repulse her, conquering it with her need to hug him, and feel the 
comfort of his embrace. And it felt so good, so safe to have his arms around her, 
to feel his love...
	But suddenly, something was very wrong. She could feel his entire 
body tense, as an almost imperceptible moan, no, growl, seemed to escape from 
his lips... 
	And hard as she tried, she could not quell the fear that was rapidly 
growing inside her.


	Her hug had been so spontaneous, her affections so genuine, that it 
had overwhelmed him. How could he have imagined, even months ago, that this 
might be possible? And a lifetime of longing to have his child in his arms had 
found fulfillment in this one moment shared between them. Nick thought he 
would cry--with joy to hold her like this, with the sorrow of the time they had 
lost. And he held her tightly, in amazement of the miracle that his and Natalie's 
love had produced...
	But suddenly, something else came into play, as the beast within him 
sensed the part of her that was him. And as the smell of her blood reached his 
nostrils he knew it was all there--his curse, his condemnation, his salvation. And 
at once, it seemed so strong in her, that it nearly weakened him. Her blood was 
his, and yet something so different that it frightened him. He could sense her, 
feel her, and within her the good and evil in himself. And he understood then 
that between them there was an adversarial kinship, that both connected and 
repulsed them, drawing them together in a bond of mutual fear.
	So intoxicated was he by this new sensation that he didn't even realize 
that his fangs had dropped, until his lips parted above her neck. And suddenly, 
the horror of what he was about to do slapped him in the face. His entire body 
stiffened, and he held her close to him so that she would not see his 
transformation, whispering in her ear, in a voice lower than his own, "Niki, I 
have to go upstairs. Please--wait for me here..."
	"What is it?" she asked worriedly, trying to separate from him to see 
his face.  
	But he hugged her against him, struggling to keep his control as he 
said, "Trust me, please. Just stay here." And he turned from her at vampiric 
speed, making his way up the stairs.
	He wasn't sure if he'd run or flown. But he burst into his bedroom, 
fumbling for the syringe and vial he'd left in his dresser drawer, all the while 
avoiding the mirror that would confirm what had happened. Finding his elixir, he 
drew the liquid into the syringe, then set it down as he wrapped a rubber band 
around his upper arm. With a trembling hand he poised the needle above his arm, 
taking aim...
	"What's going on?!" Niki cried.
	He cursed himself for not locking the door. He kept his head turned 
from her as he growled, "Niki, please go. I need to take this now!"
	"But what happened? Were you going to--?"
	Her voice trailed off, but he could smell her fear, and it horrified him 
to know that he had frightened her so. But the beast was out of control now, with 
the voracious hunger of one not having fed for two months. And the closer she 
got to him, the greater the threat became, the more intense the fear that her nature 
instilled in him. Why wouldn't she go? Didn't she realize...?
	In desperation he turned to her, wanting to beg her to keep away. But 
his humanity was being slowly consumed by his primal instincts, and as he faced 
her, all that escaped his lips was a snarl as he involuntarily bared his fangs at 
her...
	The terror in her eyes startled him back to his senses. She opened her 
mouth to scream, but could not seem to find her voice. But he could see the 
flecks of gold that illuminated her eyes.
	"Niki," he managed, his fear for her overtaking all else. He reached out 
to her, but she ran...
	And he looked down at the syringe he had dropped, knowing that now 
was his chance to take it, to free himself of the hunger so that he could make 
things right between them...But as he heard the slamming of the door, he knew 
that there was no time.
	In her fear, she had run outside into the bright midday sun.
	With preternatural speed, he was down the stairs, out the door and into 
the blinding daylight. He squinted to see, searching the beach frantically. He had 
to find her. He had to bring her inside before...
	She was there. Lying still on the sand. Scared out of his mind, he flew 
to her, relieved to see her squirming on the ground.
	"Niki, it's all right," he said, his voice choked with emotion.
	"Nooo...get away from me..." she cried,  shielding her face from the 
light. Deep burns scarred her arms and legs, and she seemed barely able to move.
	"I won't hurt you...I promise," he said, blood tears falling down his 
cheeks as he scooped her frail form into his arms. This was all his fault. All his 
fault...
	Too weak to fight, she collapsed against him.
	He flew back to the house, just as smoke began to rise from his skin. 
He could barely see, and pain seared through his entire body where the radiation 
of the sun had burnt his flesh.  But the pain was irrelevant. Nothing mattered to 
him now, but the little girl in his arms. She was crying now, her arms around his 
neck. He held her for a long while, relieved at least that she knew he would not 
hurt her. Finally, when her sobbing had subsided, he set her gently on her bed, 
sitting down beside her. She looked up at him with blue eyes, devoid now of any 
hint of gold.
	"Where'd your Mom put that stuff for burns?" he asked as he looked 
her over with his rapidly returning sight.
	She motioned to the dresser and he found the bottle of salve, and 
began smoothing it over her arms and legs. She still seemed too stunned to 
protest, and he was glad that he sensed her fear too was gone. 
	"Does that feel any better?" he asked tenderly.
	She nodded. "A little. I didn't even think--I just--"
	"I'm so sorry, Niki. I'm so sorry I scared you." He didn't want her to 
see his blood tears, but he was sure one had escaped. He was just so relieved that 
she was all right...
	"No, I--I should have let you just take the medicine...I just got a little 
freaked out when I realized what was happening..." She stopped mid-sentence as 
she looked more intently at his face. "My God, you're hurt!"
	His failure to drink blood had slowed his healing process, and as he 
glanced into the mirror he realized that he looked like a wreck. The skin on his 
left cheek was raw as if it had been set on fire.
	"I'm okay," he promised her. "It'll go away."
	She looked at him in confusion. "But didn't you take the medicine?"
	It hadn't even registered to him until that moment that he hadn't, even 
though he probably could have since they'd gotten back into the house. But his 
daughter had been his first priority, and somehow, his love and concern for her 
had quelled the beast. And at that moment, he was glad that he hadn't taken the 
leitovuterine. For he knew now with certainty that despite his initial reaction, he 
*could* control it. 
	He squeezed her hand. "No, I didn't. But I will now."
	"But you could have died!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide with distress. 
And as the guilt crossed her face, he knew that she blamed herself for his 
injuries.
	"It'd take a lot more than that to kill me," he reassured her with a 
twinkle in his eye.
	Niki looked at him a moment, then hugged him tightly before he could 
even consider if it might be dangerous. "I'm so glad you're all right!" she said. 
	And that moment confirmed what Nick had only begun to suspect. 
That while his initial reaction to Nicolette's nature had been abrupt and severe, 
the more time they spent together, the less of a problem it would be. While he 
could still sense her, and feel his connection to her, the threat had become no 
more than a slight uneasiness. Yes, he could deal with this. He could definitely 
deal with this....
	He gave her a hug, then slowly released her, looking at her curiously. 
"Niki, do you still...feel something from me? Does being near me still make you 
feel afraid?"
	She shook her head. "Not really. It's kind of like it was with Janette. 
The first time I met her, there was something that made me really hate her... it 
was like I felt scared every time she came near me. But when I got to know her, 
and spent more time with her, it wasn't so bad." She paused. "Is that what's 
happening with us?"
	"I think so. When my vampirism came back, it was so sudden, and so 
strong, that it must have been like a shock to us both. But now---" He gave her a 
smile.   "I think things will be okay."
	"Do you think maybe the sun problem will get better too?" she asked 
hopefully.
	"For you, yes," he told her. He truly believed that now.
	But Nicolette frowned. "But you--won't ever be able to go out in the 
sun."
	He took a deep breath.  "I'm used to it," he said, trying to make light of 
it. 
	She was silent for a moment, then asked, "But how will we do things 
together?"
	"At night," he told her, trying desperately to veil his own despair over 
what they would lose. "But you know, I'm going to take the leitovuterine again, 
and I bet it'll work for at least a week. Maybe we can do some things we've been 
wanting to before it wears off again. You wanted to see Athens, didn't you?"	Her eyes lit up. "Could we go? Please?"
	"I think so," he told her, glad to see her excitement. "All we have to do 
is clear it with your Mom."
	And while Nicolette chatted excitedly of all the things she'd like to 
see, Nick knew that Natalie would have a real problem with leaving the island--
especially when she saw the shape they were in. And he didn't relish having to 
tell her what had happened. 
	How could he tell her that he had nearly attacked their child?



	Richie had fallen asleep in the yacht after an intolerably long day and 
incredibly painful extraction of his baby tooth. The pain killers had knocked him 
out, and Natalie was sure he'd sleep through the night. She was ready to pass out 
herself. Carrying him into the house, she heard someone in the living room 
watching TV, but decided to tuck Richie in first. Night had already begun to fall, 
and she made her way up the darkened stairway with her precious bundle  
without alerting them of her presence.  A few minutes later, she'd undressed him 
and slipped on his pajamas. He hadn't stirred. She watched him for a long 
moment, thinking of how much he looked like his father when he slept. She 
kissed him on the cheek, and slipped downstairs.
	She found Nicolette and her father  watching videos together. Nick had 
his arm around her, and she was resting against him contentedly. A rush of 
emotion nearly brought tears to her eyes. Had she ever thought this would be 
possible? And yet the fact that Steven's death had figured into the picture 
couldn't help but mar her joy at seeing Nick and his daughter together like this. 
Did the price of happiness always have to be so dear? Was there no joy without 
pain? 
	She collected herself just as they saw her standing there.
	"Mommy! How's Richie?"
	"Where is he?" Nick asked in obvious concern as he stood to meet her.
	"He'll be fine. They had to pull his baby tooth, and now he's out like a --
" She stopped abruptly as Nicolette came towards her, her arms and legs red with 
burns. "Oh my God, Niki," she said, her heart pounding. "What happened?!"
	"I'm okay," she told her, but Natalie would hear none of it. This was the 
worst she had ever been burnt.  How could this possibly have happened when 
she'd left her right outside the house?
	Natalie  threw herself into doctor mode, examining her daughter's raw 
skin. "Does it still hurt? How long ago did it happen?"
	"No, it's better now. Nick put that ointment on it, and then later I took a 
cold bath. It's all right, really."
	Natalie hugged her, being careful not to put pressure on her wounds. 
Then, angrily, she turned to Nick. "Where were you?" she accused. "How could 
you let her stay out that long?"
	"He didn't, Mom," Niki broke in quickly. "It was me--I ran outside and 
he came after me. I felt so sick I couldn't even move--if Nick hadn't carried me 
back in--" Her voice trailed off, and Natalie hugged her again, not even wanting 
to think of what had happened. And suddenly she felt awful for snapping at 
Nick.
	"I'm sorry," she said as he came up to them. And only then did she really 
look at him. And her mouth dropped open in shock. 
	The entire left side of his face had been burnt down to the pink raw skin 
beneath. "Oh my God," she whispered.
	"Nat, I'm sorry...I got her as soon as I could--" She could see by the 
pained expression on his face that she hadn't had to blame him--he'd felt guilty 
enough for allowing this to happen while Nicolette had been in his care. And 
again, she regretted her hastiness.
	"Nick, what happened to you?" she asked him, the tenderness in her 
voice conveying her concern for him.
	But as she looked into his eyes, she knew. "I guess I stayed in the sun 
too long," he said, trying to maintain a facade that things were not as bad as they 
seemed. But as their eyes locked, she could see the anguish that mirrored her 
own.
	"The leitovuterine wore off," she said matter-of-factly. But her voice 
was shaking. And in the wink of an eye a myriad of thoughts ran through her 
mind. That she should have known this would happen. That she couldn't let him 
see her disappointment. That there were so many things they hadn't yet done 
together in the daylight...
	That they hadn't made love.
	He took her hand, and her medical mind registered something that 
brought her back to the present. "You're warm," she murmured, not 
understanding.
	"I took another dose," he said simply.
	And suddenly it all made sense, like the pieces of a puzzle falling into 
place. "It's not the first time, is it?" she said, more a statement than a question.
	Guiltily, he shook his head, then said, "Nat, we have to talk."


	"Why, Nick? Why didn't you tell me this was happening?"
	He didn't know what to say. There were so many reasons.  Yet as he sat 
with her in his room now,  none seemed adequate. He should have been honest 
with her from the moment he'd known that the leitovuterine was wearing off. 
There really was no excuse.
	"I'm sorry," he told her once more. "I just didn't want to give you 
anything else to worry about. You were finally starting to feel better..."  He 
paused, trying to read her silence. "Natalie, please, don't be angry with me".
	She looked into his eyes, and he was relieved to see  that  she was 
totally devoid of anger.  "Nick, I can't be mad at you. Maybe it's intuition, and 
maybe I just know you too well--but I had a feeling this was going on."
	He looked at her in surprise. "Why didn't you say anything?"
	She considered it for a moment, before admitting, "I guess I just wanted 
to ignore it.... Pretend that the drug was working for good this time."
	"So did I," he said with a wan smile.
	For a long moment neither of them spoke. Finally, he said, "I also wasn't  
really sure until today how my condition was affecting Nicolette..."
	"Did this happen to you when we were on the mountain, too?" she 
asked.
	He nodded. "Yeah, but this time it was worse. Much stronger."
	She took a deep breath. "So what exactly happened today?"
	The question he'd dreaded. But he had to tell her. Everything.
	So he did. The sensations, the hunger, the bond of blood and fear 
between them.
	The fact that he'd almost bitten her.
	Natalie had been listening intently without saying a word, and only then 
did she react, her eyes opening wide in horror, her lips parting as if in a gasp. 
But she was silent, restrained. And that made it so much worse. He knew she was 
terrified inside over what he had almost done. He wanted her to explode at him, 
scream at him, punish him as he was punishing himself. She was holding back 
for his sake, and he didn't know if he deserved that.
	"Natalie, say something," he implored. "Be honest with me. I know it 
frightens you to think of what almost happened."
	"What do you want me to say, Nick?" she asked in exasperation. "Yeah, 
it scares the hell out of me. But it's my fault as much as yours. We knew the drug 
would wear off. I shouldn't have left you alone with her."
	"I almost--" He couldn't even bring himself to say it.
	"But you didn't," she said steadily, looking into his eyes.  
	And he could see the forgiveness and strength there that he needed.  He 
drew on it as he told her the rest... how he'd controlled it, gone for the 
leitovuterine; how Niki had followed him, and then run out in horror as she'd 
seen him in his bestial form. He'd forgotten the medicine in  his worry for her, as 
he'd chased after her in the blazing sun. And it hadn't been until much later that 
he'd remembered to take it...long after he'd held Niki in his arms, hugged her, 
cared for her wounds....and felt none of the hunger. The danger had passed.
	He could see the relief in her eyes as she said finally, "So maybe it was 
just the initial reaction you had to each other. Every time she's had one of these 
attacks, she's around vampires.  The first was after going to Janette's restaurant. 
And the rest, it looks like, have been whenever you started to revert back. But 
even with Janette, after the initial reaction, she seemed to adjust."
	"Maybe that explains what happened with Milagros," he said darkly. "I  
didn't understand what was happening...it overwhelmed me." 
	She nodded, and he took her hands into his.
	"Natalie, I know I can control it. You don't have to worry. I swear to 
you."
	But there was no concern in her eyes. Only tender reassurance for him. 
"Nick, I know that. I've always known. It's what I told you thirteen years ago. 
She's your daughter. I know you would never hurt her."
	He heaved a sigh of relief. He'd needed her to say this. To believe this. 
To believe in him. He took her into his arms, hugging her tightly. 
	"Now you know it, too," she said softly in his ear.
	"Oh, Nat," he whispered,  running his hands through her hair. "If only 
I'd believed you thirteen years ago...."


	*If only I'd believed you thirteen years ago...*
	If only...if only... His words brought back a flood of regrets and second 
thoughts, doubts and hopeless fantasies of what might have been. And though 
she could never regret her life with Steven or the beautiful child they had created, 
in her heart she had always mourned for the life she and Nick had been denied. 
What if Nick had not feared his effect on their unborn baby...would it have made 
a difference? Would it have diminished the danger of those who might have 
sought to destroy her--who sought to destroy her now? Would being together 
have made it all bearable?
	Yes. And the irony that he should know now that he himself was no 
threat to Nicolette, that they could have been together all along...was 
maddening...
	"Don't say it, Nick," she pleaded. "Don't say we could have been 
together all this time..." Her voice was choked with emotion, and she could feel 
her tears about to burst forth.
	His hands moved from her hair to her face as he stared into her eyes. "I 
won't," he said quietly. "Because we both know that we were protecting her from 
more than just me." Then his blue eyes smiled at her. "All that matters is that 
we're together now." And as his lips came down upon hers, she really wished she 
could believe that that was all that mattered...
	He kissed her deeply, utterly taking her breath away as he always 
could. And as he separated from her, he smiled. He had to see the love in her 
eyes. And yet as his expression darkened, she knew he had seen her doubts, her 
worries.
	"What is it, my love?" He hadn't called her that again since they'd 
been together, and her face flushed.
	"Nothing," she lied. He searched her eyes for longer than she could 
keep it from him. "Nick, I don't know if we can just go back to where we 
were...."
	"Of course we can," he said with certainty. "Natalie, I know you still 
need time. And I'm willing to give it to you."
	"Nick--"
	"That's one of the reasons why I didn't tell you that I was reverting. I 
wanted to be with you, Nat. I still do. I didn't want you to think time was 
running out. I didn't want you to feel pressured into making love before you were 
ready."
	"Oh, Nick..." Why didn't he realize this had nothing to do with it?
	"We have plenty of time, Nat. Now that we're together, we have the 
rest of our lives...."
	His words were meant to comfort her. To ease her. And yet he had no 
way of knowing that they were having precisely the opposite effect. For time 
itself was the issue.
	He reached down to kiss her again, and for a moment she allowed 
herself to revel in his taste, his touch, his fleeting warmth. But as they separated, 
she pulled away.
	"We don't have plenty of time, Nick," she said sadly. "Only you do."
	He looked at her in utter confusion. He had no clue. He reached out to 
her, but she stepped back. "I really have to go to bed. I'm exhausted," she 
managed. 
	"Nat?"
	She kissed him lightly on the lips, but did not let him linger this time. 
"Good night, Nick," she said, and turned to leave.
	With the restraint he'd been practicing since the moment they'd come 
together again, he let her go.



	It bothered him all night. What had he done? What had he said to 
make her distance herself from him all at once? Did it bother her so that his 
vampirism was returning? Had she so utterly given up hope of a cure?
	Or was she afraid to be close to him? Afraid *of* him?
	It didn't make sense. How often they'd lain together, holding each 
other, kissing, knowing that at any moment the vampire might emerge. No, it was 
something else.
	But he wouldn't press her. He couldn't. Things had been progressing 
too nicely for him to begin pressuring her now. He would wait....


	Natalie stepped from the shower, wrapped herself in a towel, and 
looked at herself long and hard in the mirror. She'd never eyed herself so 
critically before. But in the harsh morning light, every imperfection seemed to 
glare at her. The tiny crows feet at the corners of her eyes seemed so conspicuous 
today. And the few gray strands in her hair seemed to have multiplied 
geometrically since she'd last looked.
	She was getting old.
	It had never really bothered her before. At fifty, Steven had been so 
youthful, and she had looked younger still. And if the truth be known, she had to 
admit that she'd aged quite well. She didn't really look much differently than she 
had fifteen years ago.
	But how long would that last? How long before her skin would begin 
to wrinkle and sag, her hair turn white, her body lose its shapeliness?
	"Stop it, Nat. This is ridiculous," she told herself aloud. She was only 
forty-five. Those things might not happen for twenty years if she took care of 
herself. Maybe longer.
	But Nick would still be as young and handsome as he was now. And 
she would look more like his mother than his wife. She couldn't handle that.
	Was it vanity? Perhaps. A fear that he wouldn't want her anymore? 
Not really. She didn't doubt his love and desire for her; not for a moment. But 
the time would come when his attraction to her would wear away with her youth 
and beauty, and if he stayed with her, it would be out of obligation.
	It was that thought that she truly couldn't bear. And now that she knew 
that the leitovuterine had lost its effect, it was that horrifying image that haunted 
her. 
	Trying to push it from her mind, she dressed quickly, taking extra care 
to put on the makeup that she might not usually have bothered with for a day at 
home. She blew out her hair, almost pinned it up, and thought better of it. The 
style that had seemed so elegant years ago made her feel matronly now. Anyway, 
he liked it better down...
	He was already downstairs when she got there, and smiled as he saw 
her. And as much as she wanted to distance herself from him, she knew it was 
hopeless. Just being near him brought such a flood of emotions, that she couldn't 
help but be drawn to him. His hand came up to her cheek, and she felt a flush a 
warmth as he said, "You're looking very beautiful this morning."
	Thank God for Este Lauder. "Thank you," she said, sure she was 
blushing. "And how are you, today? It doesn't look like your skin healed too 
much overnight."
	"It's fine," he assured her. "Look at it as a good sign. If I'm not healing 
at a more than human rate, it means the leitovuterine is still holding up." He 
paused, bringing his hand down to take hers. "Which brings me to something I 
really have to ask you."
	She couldn't imagine what it was, but suddenly felt anxious just 
wondering about it.  "Okay," she said expectantly. "Out with it."
	"Do you think we could go to Athens today?"
	It was the last thing she'd expected. "Are you out of your mind? With 
you and Niki both nearly burnt to a crisp--"
	"Nat, I promised her we'd do it while we still could."
	"Out of the question," she said brusquely. "No way, Nick. I can't 
believe that you'd want to do this after what happened yesterday."
	"Natalie, it's because of what happened yesterday. Don't you see, this 
is the *best* time to go. While the leitovuterine is still working. The last time it 
lasted almost two weeks. There's no way it would wear off in a day."
	"You're probably right, but what if you're not?" she challenged. 
"Nick, I'm not willing to take the risk with either of you."
	"I wouldn't either, especially with Nicolette. But I really don't believe 
there's any danger. Especially if we go right away. Please, Nat."
	His blue eyes were begging her, making it difficult to turn him down. 
He was probably right. Now *would* be the safest time. But still..."Why is it so 
important to you that we go? Wouldn't it be safer--?"
	He took a deep breath. "Natalie, one of the reasons I kept taking the 
leitovuterine was because I wanted to spend time with you, Niki and Richie like 
a *real* family. In the daylight. Outside. Doing normal things. This has been one 
of the happiest times of my life. Once the drug wears off, I don't know when 
we'll have that again. Please, just this one last time."
	Could she deny him this? The last wish of someone who would be 
condemned once more to be a prisoner of the night?
	No. No more than she could turn her back on the chance to be with 
him again like that, sharing all the wonders of the daylight. One more 
opportunity to pretend that they could really have a normal life together....
	"You would bring a dose of the leitovuterine with you--just in case?"
	"Yes," he promised, his face filling with hope.
	"And the moment you feel anything strange--anything at all--you tell 
me, and we come right home. Agreed?"
	"Agreed," he said grinning.
	She smiled at his excitement, and at her own. "Okay, then. Let's go."
	He pulled her into his arms, swinging her around until she was dizzy. 
Then he kissed her until she was weak in the knees...

	He lay awake in his bed, the thick curtains of his hotel room pulled 
tightly closed to protect him from the blinding morning light. He was tiring of 
this. Days locked inside, evenings sitting in Constitution Square watching 
passers-by, waiting. And no sign of them. No sign of *her*. And each night, he 
would stalk the side streets of Athens for prey, fantasizing that each young 
woman was Natalie, that every child whose blood he tasted was her little 
dhampir. It had become an obsession for him. For like a gambler who couldn't 
tear himself away from a slot machine, knowing that the next person who came 
by would hit the jackpot,  he could not give up his search. The moment he did, 
they would come.
	He would not relent. After all, he had eternity. They did not. Sooner or 
later, they would  feel safe enough to come out into the night.
	He would be waiting. And he would have them both.


	Nicolette and Richie had gotten ready at what seemed vampiric speed, 
thrilled at the prospect of a day away from the island. Even Natalie, despite her 
initial reservations, was excited. She'd never been to  Athens, except for their 
short stop en route to Crete. There was so much she wanted  to do, so many 
places she wanted to see. Knowing this might be the last time they would all be 
able to share such a perfectly normal day together made each moment seem that 
much more precious. Nick had been right. It was, as the old Elvis song went, 
"Now or Never".  They'd have to live each day to the fullest before ...
	She shook those thoughts deliberately from her head. Tomorrow their 
lives might change irrevocably, but today Nick was human, and they were 
together. That was all that mattered.
	Nick squeezed her hand as he led her up the cliff to the ancient temple 
overlooking the clear blue water and white beach of Cape Sounion below. She 
glanced back at Richie and Nicolette, holding hands tightly as they followed in 
fascination.
	"This is the Temple of Poseidon," he told them, "god of the sea."
	Richie glanced down at the water. "Niki, don't you remember the time 
he came up out of the water to talk to Xena? It's in the beginning part, too. This 
is the same cliff!"
	"Not really, Richie," Natalie said gently. "They filmed that in New 
Zealand. It sure looks like it, though. But this is the *real* one."
	"Look here," Nick said pointing to a carving in the stone. "Lord Byron 
did this when he came to visit, " he said, then explained, "He was a nineteenth 
century English poet who came to Greece to help them in their battle for 
Independence from Turkish rule."
	"Are you sure that was really him?" Niki asked dubiously.
	"Oh, I'm sure, all right," he replied, and Natalie shot him an amused 
glance. It never ceased to amaze her how many historical figures he'd known., 
and how many great events he'd been part of. 	Richie was looking longingly at the beach. "It's so hot," he complained. "The water looks nice. Can't we go swimming?"
	Nicolette looked at her hopefully, but her mother's warning glance 
told her not even to broach the topic. With resignation, the girl nodded, 
understanding. She'd even consented to wearing the long cotton dress with three-
quarter sleeves just to assuage Natalie's concern. She herself had no desire to 
worsen her already burnt skin, and was just happy to be out in the sun.
	"No, sweetie, " Natalie told her son. "It's too sunny out, and we don't 
want Niki to get sick again." The little boy nodded, still remembering the last 
two episodes he'd seen.
	"Come on," Nick said, as if sensing that their time here was up. 
"Athens is only an hour away, and we still have lots to see..."
	As the children walked ahead of them, he slipped an arm around 
Natalie's back. "I really wouldn't want anyone else to see you in that bikini 
anyway," he said in her ear.
	"That bad, huh?" she asked self-consciously, remembering how 
uncomfortable she'd felt in it.
	"No. That *good*."
	And her face flushed at his words and the light kisses on her cheek.


	Nick had wanted this day to be the best possible for all of them, but 
especially for Nicolette. So they found themselves in the center of Athens doing 
what twelve-year old girls like best--shopping. Nick realized that he'd slipped 
into the typical "Daddy" role, entertaining Richie while Natalie and Nicolette 
tried on more clothes than they could possibly wear. And they bought more than 
they could possibly carry. But a few hundred dollars in drachmas bought them 
the loyalty and friendship of an ambitious taxi-driver who was only too willing 
to take them around town. A stop into an electronics store, and Richie was 
ecstatic over the Sony Play Station, not minding at all waiting for the women, as 
he got to pick out whatever games he wanted. It was a spree to end all sprees, but 
it was one that would have to last them a very long time. And Nick realized with 
chagrin that the next time his new-found family came here, it would most 
probably have to be without him.
	But he wouldn't think about that now. Not while they were having the 
time of their lives, doing such normal things...
	They sat later sipping lemonade and eating grilled corn on the cob at 
an outdoor cafe in Constitution Square, or the "Sindaghma", as Nick 
remembered it being called from his last visit. He'd almost forgotten the 
annoying propensity that corn has to get stuck in your teeth. But it was such a 
mundane concern that it delighted him. The lemonade was so cool, so tart yet 
sweet, so refreshing. His quite normal hunger reminded him that all was well, 
and the vampire was still dormant within.
	*Good. Please let it stay there just a little longer....*
	"This is great, " Natalie commented happily, taking in her 
surroundings.
	"Having fun?" he asked her with a warm smile.
	"The best time in a long time," she admitted.
	He put his hand over hers. He loved to see her happy. How little 
happiness he had been able to bring her in the time that he'd known her.
	"Where are we going next?" Richie asked anxiously.
	"You said we could go to the Acropolis," Niki reminded him. "I want 
to see the Parthenon."
	"That's our next stop," he replied, but Natalie shot him a worried 
glance.
	"Do we have time, Nick? It's already late afternoon. I don't want to be 
caught here when the sun goes down."
	Once more the omnipresent threat of vampires invaded their attempt at 
an ordinary life. Nick looked up at the sun, still high in the sky. "Don't worry, 
Nat. We'll do a little sight-seeing, grab some dinner, and head out by sunset."
	Reluctantly she nodded her agreement, but he could still sense that her 
mood had become somber. As they piled into their taxi, he slipped an arm around 
her. "Promise me you'll stop worrying. I want you to relax and enjoy yourself."
	"I am, " she assured him, resting against his chest and closing her eyes. 
Having her there felt so good. He kissed her chastely on the forehead, wishing 
the cab ride would never end....

	The great plateau sprinkled with ancient temples loomed above them. 
The most exquisite, known as the Parthenon, still stood in homage to the 
goddess Athena, patron deity of the city. War and time had taken its toll on all 
the temples of the Acropolis. The Persians and Turks had each taken their turn at 
destroying the temples, which the Greeks had relentlessly rebuilt. The Parthenon 
itself was two and a half thousand years old. Unfortunately, modern technology 
had done more to destroy than preserve the Doric temple, as pollution had begun 
to weather marble that had endured twenty-five centuries. But these vestiges of 
Ancient Greek Civilization still served as a Monument to its beliefs and 
accomplishments. For though modern Greece was an Orthodox Christian nation, 
its history and mythology were still deeply embedded in its culture and society.
	Natalie made Richie hold her hand as they made their way up to the 
peak of the plateau. Though it was an eight acre expanse, there was nothing to 
keep a little boy from accidentally running off the steep cliff. Natalie hadn't even 
realized she had a fear of heights until they'd come here. Beautiful as the view 
was of the city below, she felt dizzy just looking down.
	"Look at this," Niki said, pointing. She ran over to the remains of a 
huge amphitheater carved deep into the rock. Perhaps half of it was still intact, 
the rest being weathered by time. She sat in one of the stone chairs, beckoning 
them to join her.
	"What did they do here, have concerns and stuff?" Richie asked.
	"They gave plays," Natalie told him. "Theater was invented in Greece."
	"But where's the stage?" he asked in confusion. They'd gone to the 
theater before, and he couldn't imagine where the actors performed.
	"In the middle," Nick told him, pointing down. "It's called theater-in-
the-round. It was a lot harder because people were all around you." Nick grew 
silent and Natalie made a mental note to ask him if he had ever performed in a 
theater like this. Knowing him, he'd probably known Shakespeare...
	Suddenly, Nicolette stood up, looking across the distance. "That guy--
he looks like he's following us, and I just saw him take a picture!"
	Natalie looked to Nick in alarm, but realized it was ridiculous to be 
afraid. It was still daylight. No vampire could possibly be outside...
	Nick smiled and reassured them quickly, "It's only a photographer. 
They follow tourists around taking pictures, then try to sell them to them. It's 
very common here."
	There. A logical explanation. But Natalie heaved a sigh of relief 
anyway.
	Sure enough, as they headed back down the plateau, a young Greek 
approached them with a packet of pictures.
	"Buy them, Nick," Natalie urged him. "The one thing I forgot to buy 
was a camera. It would be nice to have a souvenir of today."
	The young man seemed surprised when Nick didn't even question the 
price--haggling was probably the custom, but Nicholas de Brabant was even less 
concerned today than usual over how much money he spent. Nicolette grabbed 
the pictures first to see, alternately oohina, ahing, and laughing at the candid 
shots. She handed them to her mother, and Natalie began thumbing through 
them, thrilled that they would have this reminder of a lovely day together. There 
were adorable shots of the kids, a nice one of them four of them in the 
Amphitheater....
	...a close-up of her and Nick. Not a bad pose, it showed them holding 
hands and smiling with a gorgeous view of the Parthenon behind them. But the 
bright sunlight was harsh on her features, showing every imperfection. And as 
she stared at the picture, it hit her once more like a ton of bricks...
	She did look unmistakably older than Nick. And the despair that 
engulfed  her all at once threatened to make her burst into tears. If she looked 
older than him now, how drastic would the difference  be in five years? In ten?
	Nick had noticed the sudden change in her demeanor at once, for he 
came to her side, looking over her shoulder. "What is it, Nat? That's a great shot 
of us. It's *my* favorite."
	"I look so...*awful*," she managed, swallowing her tears, not having 
the courage to say the word aloud--old.
	`What are you talking about?" he asked, as he slipped his arm around 
her waist. "You look great."  
	She looked up at him. He wasn't just being kind. He was sincere. *But 
love is blind,* she thought to herself. *He doesn't notice it right now. But he 
will.*
	She glanced at Nicolette, who was watching her sympathetically. She 
knew that her daughter knew perfectly well what was going through her mind. 
Hadn't they looked at old pictures together back home, and hadn't it made her 
painfully aware that she'd changed in the last thirteen years?
	A few minutes later, when Nick had gone to get them a table at an 
outdoor tavern, Niki whispered in her mother's ear, "Don't worry, Mommy. You 
still look beautiful. I swear."
	Natalie smiled at her efforts and gave her a hug. But it didn't change 
the inadequacy she felt every time she looked at Nick, still as youthful as when 
she'd first met him.


	Nicolette was in her glory. The stuffed vine leaves, souvlaki and 
pastitsio were the best she'd tasted since they'd been to Greece. Her mother had 
even let her try some of the red wine, her first ever. As the sun began to sink in 
the sky, she realized that she'd spent an entire day with no reaction whatsoever. 
And the Plaka, this large festive street of restaurants, bars and night clubs, or 
tavernas, as they were called here, was one of the most exciting places she'd ever 
been. Even as they sat at their outdoor table taking in the atmosphere and 
watching the people go by, the cool air brought the sounds of Greek music from 
the live band inside. Her father had promised that they would dance before they 
left, and she kept hoping her mother would forget the time and let them stay 
longer....
	She glanced at them now and again, excited to see how close they had 
become. And while a pang of guilt struck her each time she remembered  Daddy--
he would always be Daddy to her--she couldn't help but want to see her parents 
together. They had loved each other desperately, and watching them, she knew 
that they loved each other still. Knowing that she had come out of their love, a 
love that had endured time and insurmountable obstacles, made her feel part of 
something unique and special.
	She remembered her mother's reaction to the old pictures she'd shown 
her back home; how uncomfortable she seemed now at the fact that she had aged 
while he had not. Niki had told her the truth. She was still very beautiful. She 
need only look into Nick's eyes to see that he absolutely worshipped her. Why 
couldn't her mother see that? It was so obvious . So romantic.
	So *cute*. From time to time, he would steal a kiss, or squeeze her 
hand. He was being so careful, so patient, Niki could tell. Not wanting to push 
her, not wanting to do anything that might seem inappropriate given the 
circumstances. But although her mother had been slow to respond, in her natural 
grief over Daddy's death, she could not hide her feelings. Certainly not from her 
daughter. Niki knew too that her mom might very well feel the same guilt as she 
did. It was, after all, so soon. Under normal circumstances...
	But was there anything normal about all that had happened to them? 
No. And her parents being together seemed right. It seemed perfectly all right. 
And Niki was making sure that her mother knew she felt that way. She deserved 
to be happy. They all did. 
	"Do you want anything else, Niki?" her father asked as he stood to go 
to the outdoor bar. He'd broken her reverie, and she realized that she must have 
been staring at him, though her mind was miles away.
	"Uh, no, thanks," she said.
	She moved next to her mother, who was watching him as he walked 
away. She seemed so happy with him, and yet there was a sadness that kept 
creeping into her eyes....
	"Are you okay?" she asked.
	"Yeah, honey, I'm fine." Not too convincing.
	They were silent for a while, and then Niki said, "He loves you so 
much. The age thing doesn't matter to him."
	Natalie looked at her as if shocked that Niki had read her mind. Her 
face softened into a smile. "You like him a lot, don't you?"
	Oh, well. She wasn't going to talk about it. Niki knew better than to 
press it. "Yeah, I do," she admitted.
	Her mother looked like she would cry as she said, "I'm really glad. But 
I knew you would."
	Niki gave her a hug, hoping silently to give her the support she knew 
she needed right now. When they had separated, they both glanced over to the 
bar, where Nick was waiting for the bartender's attention. A young girl, maybe 
twenty, had pushed in next to him. As she leaned over the bar, her mini-skirt 
went so dangerously high that the men in back of her were staring at her, while 
those across the bar were engrossed in  watching her nearly fall out of her bikini 
top. Niki watched in annoyance as she appeared to try to start a conversation 
with Nick, who was too busy ordering his drinks to pay her much attention.
	"What a slut," Niki commented.
	"Niki, don't talk like that," her mother reprimanded, although Niki 
was sure she shared her sentiments. This was the last thing Mommy needed to 
see when she was already feeling terribly self-conscious...
	"I'll be right back," she said, standing.
	"Where are you going?" her mother asked, grabbing her arm.
	"I just decided I want something else to drink. So did you," she told 
her, and left before she could protest.
	As she got to the bar, the girl was inching her way seductively towards 
Nick. "Excuse me," Nicolette said, pushing her way in between them. "I'm with 
my father." She took his arm possessively as the girl's annoyance seemed to turn 
to surprise.
	Nick hadn't even heard her words, and that was just as well. He smiled 
down at her. "Hi, change your mind?"
	"Yeah, I want a soda, and Mommy wants another glass of wine."
	She'd spoken as loudly as possible without seeming too indiscreet, 
and as he turned to the bartender, she glanced to make sure the little tramp had 
heard her. She had, and had turned her attentions to someone else. Niki smiled to 
herself. Mission accomplished. And he hadn't a clue....
	Natalie accepted the glass of wine without giving her away, but gave 
her a glance. But there was more amusement than reproach in her expression, so 
Niki was satisfied. She'd done her part. The rest was up to them.


	Natalie hadn't wanted to dance. Her upbringing told her that despite 
everything else that was going on, this was one limit she would have to set. She 
was in mourning, after all, and her grief over Steven tempered any desire to be 
overly festive. As it should. Nick had understood without question, and had 
asked out of respect if she would mind if he danced with the kids. Of course, she 
didn't. They were kids. They needed this, after all they'd been through. And she 
was just as happy just to watch the three of them having fun together.
	What she did mind, was the hour. It was already twilight....


	No roaming the streets tonight. He needed excitement, a sip of wine 
with his blood, dancing, music, young women to seduce...
	He showered, dressed, and waited impatiently as the sun fell below the 
horizon. The temples of the Acropolis were already illuminated with the artificial 
light that that went on each night. Below, in the Plaka, young women danced, 
waiting for him...
	Who knew? Maybe tonight, Natalie would be there waiting for him 
too.... 


	Nick hadn't had such a workout since battling in the Crusades. This 
dancing was *strenuous*! But he loved every minute of it; especially holding his 
daughter's and Richie's hands as they learned the new steps together, laughing at 
their mistakes. All that was missing from this family picture was Nat. But he 
understood and respected her reluctance to partake in the festivities. She still had 
feelings to work out, and he couldn't possibly complain about their day--it had 
been nearly idyllic.
	But as he caught a glimpse of her on the sidelines, he knew they'd 
spent enough time away from her. And his heart ached to be next to her again. As 
the bouzouki played the dance's final note, and the crowd paused collectively to 
catch its breath, he turned to Niki and Richie, and said, "I'm having a great time, 
but I don't want to leave your mom alone for too long..."
	Niki nodded her understanding immediately, and Richie was too tired 
to argue. Nick took their hands and led them through the crowd....


	The smell of human blood was intoxicating, the sound of their 
heartbeats exhilarating. He drank down the blood-wine mixture quickly, knowing 
that he'd need sustenance until he could choose and court his prey for the night. 
Young women swam before him, their bodies barely hidden by the summer 
evening wear. What revolutions in fashion the Millennium had brought about! 
Mankind had avoided the oft-predicted Armageddon thus far, but the 
omnipresent threat had ushered in a new Age of hedonistic pleasure. Did the fear 
of extinction always engender such reckless abandon?
	He scanned the room quickly, a perfunctory habit since he'd begun his  
obsessive search for her. He was beginning to think that Elaine had been wrong. 
Perhaps they hadn't come to Athens after all.
	Suddenly, he took in a breath.
	There she was. Could it be? All alone? As beautiful as she had been 
then, despite the passage of time. A little closer. He could almost catch her scent 
as it sent him reeling into memories of the past. And the hunger, the desire of 
that night, so utterly engulfed him that he had to struggle to maintain control.
	A little closer...
	Then he saw them. Coming towards her. Her lovely little dhampir, the 
human child, and....
	He stepped back. Surely *he* would sense him. And yet, as he reached 
out with his preternatural senses, there was nothing coming from him. Only the 
faint touch of anxiety from the girl whom nature would make a hunter.
	And he laughed. No wonder he hadn't run into them before. They'd 
probably come out only by day. Of course. It all made sense now.
	Nicholas was human. 
	He stepped back as the call of the dhampir became stronger. Out of her 
range. Out of their view.
	He knew what he needed to. And now, it would be so easy...


	Natalie stood to meet them. "Have fun?" she asked as Richie ran over 
to her.
	"It was great! Can we come back, Mommy?"
	"Sure we can," she said, smoothing his tousled hair.
	"I'm exhausted," Nick told her with a grin. "You may have to fly the 
plane."
	"Speaking of which..." she reminded him gently.
	His face grew serious as he looked outside to see the darkened sky. 
"God, Nat, I'm sorry, I didn't even realize--"
	"It's fine," she assured him. The truth was that they'd all grown 
careless in their desire to enjoy this one last day in the sun together. Nick was no 
more at fault than she. "Let's just get going, please. I'll feel a lot better when 
we're--"
	She stopped mid-sentence as she glanced at Nicolette. Her face had 
gone pale, and her expression was one of consternation.
	"What is it, Niki?" she asked worriedly.
	Their daughter looked at them, about to speak, then hesitated, as if in 
confusion. Finally, she said simply, "I thought I ...felt...I sensed... someone."
	Natalie glanced at Nick quickly, but he said, "It's not me. I feel fine."
	Niki shook her head. "No, it was different."
	Natalie's heart began to race. The stupidity of staying here so late. 
What if their recklessness cost them their lives? She picked up Richie, holding 
him as if to shield him from...whatever.
	"Come on," Nick told them. He put an arm around her, the other 
around Nicolette, holding them protectively as they made their way back to their 
cab.
	Thus ended their last night in Athens.

	The plane ride back to the island had been a quiet one. Richie had 
fallen asleep, Nicolette had sat deep in thought, and both Nick and Natalie had 
felt too guilty about their carelessness to speak about it. Once back at their 
haven, Natalie heaved a sigh of relief. They were safe, for now at least. And 
perhaps the vampire  Nicolette had  sensed had not even seen them, much less 
known them.
	Nick busied himself bringing all their packages into the house, and 
Natalie was glad to see Nicolette forget the evening's unfortunate end in the 
excitement of her new purchases. Richie had awoken with a second wind, and 
begged her to let him stay up and play with his new PlayStation. With the 
excitement of a little boy, Nick joined him in his entreaty. Could she turn down 
her two boys? No. She left them to their game while she went upstairs to unpack 
her new clothes.
	She'd chosen so many of these things with Nick in the back of her 
mind. The royal blue evening dress, the black bikini that fit a lot more 
comfortably than her last, the black silk and lace teddy with the long matching 
robe.
	She wanted to look good for him. More than that, she wanted to feel 
good about how she looked, to regain the confidence that the entire age question 
had slowly chipped away. Yet as she found the pack of pictures from the 
Acropolis, she tortured herself once more by scrutinizing that one photo that 
seemed to show the lines of age in her face. And with some masochistic tendency 
she didn't even realize she had, she pulled out her little album, looking once 
more at the shot of them together at the Department picnic, setting it next to its 
counterpart of fifteen years later. God, how she had changed! Was it just time? 
Or had the complex multitude of emotions that were wrapped up in her 
relationship with Nick simply worn her out over the years? That young thirty-
year old had thought a love affair with him was simply the stuff her fantasies 
were made of. If only she'd known!	
	Would it have deterred her from falling in love with him? No.
	Even as she thought back on her innocence, of her heart unscathed by 
the joy and suffering of loving him, she knew that she would not change the past 
for anything. It was part of her. *He* was a part of her. And yet, the past was not 
in question now.
	The future was.
	For as much as she could fall this moment into his arms, there was 
much more than mourning Steven which had begged her to hold back.
	She was afraid. Afraid of making him the center of her Universe once 
more. Afraid of growing old in his arms, of becoming an obligation to him, a 
burden, long after he needed to move on. And a part of her kept telling her that if 
it weren't for Nicolette, if things hadn't happened this way...
	...he would have moved on long ago. To another life, another love. And 
the fear, the indignity, of building her life and dreams around him when she was 
just another link in the chain of his many lives...
	...threatened to drive her insane.
	Wasn't it better to end it now? To release him of his obligation to be 
with her? To save herself from being devastated and humiliated when he finally 
did move on?
	She was reeling into the depths of depression. She had to stop this. He 
loved her now, he wanted to be with her...wasn't that enough?
	Could that be enough?
	She started as he knocked on her open door. His face was grim, and at 
once she knew that something had happened.
	"What is it? The kids--?" she asked in alarm.
	"Oh, no, no, Nat," he reassured her, coming to her side. "No, they're 
fine. But it's something else." He took her hand and led her to the bed, sitting 
facing her. "Nat, I just called Janette. I wanted to see if she'd heard 
anything...about who killed Steven...about if someone might be following us..."
	The thought of Janette, still young and beautiful and as immortal as 
Nick, grazed her consciousness. But there was a more pressing matter. "What did 
she say?" she asked, barely able to breathe from her own anxiety.
	"LaCroix was in there. Not long after we left. Apparently there was a 
picture of you, Steven and the kids in the paper--about his death and your 
disappearance."
	Of course! With Steven's prominence in the community, how could 
she have thought that either would go unnoticed? "And?" she prodded.
	Nick breathed deeply. "He suspects Niki is my daughter. And that 
we're together."
	His words echoed in her mind, as something there snapped.
	This was it, wasn't it? What she'd dreaded. What she'd pretended 
would never happen.
	What would make the decision for her. And every moment of 
happiness  she'd shared with him in the last two months faded into an abyss of 
fear and despair. She should have known. She should have known it couldn't 
last. It was never meant to, was it? 
	"So," she said dully. "We're back where we started."
	He looked at her in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
	"You're a vampire. I'm mortal. And LaCroix is after our child. The 
same place it started thirteen years ago. Or, I should say, the same place it 
ended." 
	He had caught her meaning, but was pointedly ignoring it. "Nat, we'll 
just go away. I don't think that was LaCroix in Athens--"
	"How do you know?" she countered. "You said yourself, you can't 
sense him like this--"
	"But he would have approached me. I know he would." He paused. "I 
don't think he was the one who murdered Steven. Neither does Janette. He 
seemed surprised by the picture. As if he hadn't known."
	"Oh, great," she said sarcastically. "So maybe there are two vampires 
after our daughter. At the very least--"
	"Natalie, we'll go away," he said again. "Before my vampirism comes 
back. He won't sense us. And we'll keep moving--"
	"Is that what *you* really want?" she asked.
	He looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean? Of course not! 
You know what I want. To settle down somewhere with you and the kids, to have 
a normal life--"
	It was an impossible dream. Couldn't he see that?  A part of her 
yearned for him to convince her that it could someday be, while another part of 
her despised him for perpetuating the fantasy. Her voice softened as she said, 
"Nick, we can't go on like this."
	His voice was trembling as he asked, "Nat...is there something I 
did...or didn't do?" He was grasping for a reason for her sudden change of heart. 
	She shook her head. "No. You've been...perfect," she said, for want of 
a better word. "To me...and to the kids."
	"Then why, Natalie?" he asked, his hand moving up to brush against 
her cheek. "You said you needed time. I thought I was giving it to you. But Nat, 
you can't tell me you haven't felt something between us these past two 
months..."
	"Of course I have, Nick!" she said in a hushed whisper, the touch of 
his hand drawing the tears to her cheeks.  "But we can't go back. Too much time 
has passed! It's been thirteen years. A lot has happened. A lot has changed..."
	"Not my love for you," he said passionately.
	"But *I've* changed, Nick! I'm not the same person I was then. And 
we can't go back--"
	"It's not going back! I've never stopped loving you!"
	And neither had she. But she couldn't admit that now. "Nick, please, 
try to understand..."
	"I do understand. You're afraid, Nat. That's all it is." She could hear 
the desperation in his voice as he sought for some motive, some reason. "You 
think LaCroix will sense me, and find us...But we'll just keep moving. I've 
evaded him for decades at a time. We could do it, I know--"
	"Nick, what makes you think things are any different than they were 
thirteen years ago? Why is it any safer for us to be together?"
	"It's not. But I know now--we know now--that we never should have 
been apart. We should have gone off together, and I'll regret that we didn't for 
the rest of my life, but Nat, we can't make the same mistake again."
	She wanted to believe him. And if her fear of LaCroix were her only 
concern, she could easily convince herself that he was right. But there was so 
much more that she couldn't even bring herself to tell him. "Nick, it's not just 
LaCroix. It's *us*. We've been trying to recapture the past, and what we had, but 
we can't.  Too much time has passed..."
	"Natalie, please!" The anguish in his voice was matched only by that in 
his eyes.
	"Nick, you and I will never have a normal life!" she found herself 
blurting.  "The sooner you get that through your head the easier this will be!"
	He looked as if she had slapped him. And as it began to dawn on him 
where this was all headed, his eyes opened wide with fear. "Natalie, what are you 
trying to say?" 
	She took a deep breath, praying for the courage to say what she 
thought she had to.  "That it's over, Nick. Tomorrow I'm going to call Aristotle, 
and make arrangements to leave with Nicolette and Richie."
	He simply stared at her for a long moment before whispering, "Without 
me?"
	She could feel her eyes burning with her tears. "Yes. Without you."
	He was utterly speechless. And she knew that she was hurting him, but 
perhaps this was the only way to break free.
	His hand dropped slowly from her cheek, as he searched her eyes for 
some meaning, for some hope. Finding none, he said, "So that's it? You're just 
going to walk away? Again?" His bitterness was seeping through. For this time. 
For the last. No matter what he'd said, he'd always blamed her for leaving. And 
that infuriated her.  She'd been frightened out of her wits. She was now, too. Yet 
in his eyes, she was simply walking away. Abandoning him.
	"Nick, I did what I had to do last time, and that's what I'm doing now. 
This is the best thing for all of us, believe me."
	"For whom, Natalie? For you?" he asked harshly. "Not for me. And 
not for Niki. What are you going to tell her?"
	She didn't know. "Nick, I'll never keep you from seeing her," she 
promised him. But it was so lame, and she knew it. He'd waited thirteen years to 
be with his child, and now she was taking her away from him again. Could she 
really justify that?
	For a moment, doubts overwhelmed her. Was this really the right 
course? Had she really thought this out, or was she reacting irrationally, out of 
fear and insecurity? But it was too late. It had gone too far, cascaded into 
something that she hadn't the strength to rein in. 
	"Natalie, this is insane," he said, one last-ditch effort as his panic crept  
in. "You can't do this. I won't let you! I can't lose you again! I can't lose both of 
you!" His desperation tore at her heart, bringing back similar images that had 
haunted her for over a decade.
	"I'm sorry," she said softly, not sure if she was apologizing for what 
she was doing to him, or for not telling him what was really tearing her apart 
inside. 	He stared at her silently, but the agony on his face spoke volumes.  He 
hadn't seen this coming. How could he have? At the moment, he was still reeling 
with disbelief. She had hurt him, betrayed him. She'd taken away every ounce of 
hope she'd given him for a future together. And he had no idea why.
	He turned to leave, and her face grew hot with tears. She couldn't help 
but wonder if it had been extraordinary strength or incredible weakness that had 
driven her to so utterly destroy him. And as she cried uncontrollably, she didn't 
know if she had just thrown away her happiness, or saved herself from even 
greater pain.
	No. Nothing could hurt worse than this...


	His world had fallen apart, and he wasn't even sure why.
	What had gone wrong? What had he done? He'd tried his best to be 
loving and supportive, showing her how much he still loved her while walking 
that fine line of propriety, giving her the time and the space he'd thought she 
needed. Hadn't time been the issue? That night on the beach, when they'd almost 
made love...hadn't she stopped because she'd needed time? His body ached now 
as he thought of how close he'd been to her, and the excitement of having her in 
his arms again...She'd felt it too, he knew it! And how many times after that had 
they held each other, cuddling, kissing , caressing,,,,? He'd seen the love in her 
eyes, felt it in her touch! Now, the memory of  those moments of tenderness 
tortured him. For what he'd thought of as a new beginning had been the dying 
gasp of a love that was not to be. What had gone wrong? Where had *he* gone 
wrong? How could he so totally have misread her?
	He couldn't have. No. He knew her too well. There had to be some 
other reason. Was it fear? Fear of LaCroix? That had to be it! It had to be!
	But no. She'd clearly said it was more than that; that too much time 
had passed. That things were different. That she had changed.
	But *she* hadn't changed. She was still everything he remembered, 
and more. With dread he allowed himself to consider the one possibility he had 
never permitted to even enter his thoughts since they'd come here. That it wasn't 
Natalie herself who had changed--but her feelings for him. Perhaps she *had* 
wanted to recapture what they'd had--but after two months of trying, had realized 
that the torch she'd carried for him had lost its glow. Perhaps ten years of loving 
someone else, a normal, mortal man who had given her the ideal life she'd always 
wanted, had made her long for something more stable than the danger and 
frustration of trying to make a life with him.
	Perhaps after loving her husband, her Steven, her love for *him* 
seemed nothing more than a wild fancy of her past. Not lasting. Not the real 
thing.
	Not forever.
	And at once the jealousy that he'd so carefully kept at bay came 
flooding back to him. He'd convinced himself of the foolishness of being jealous 
of a man who was dead. Yet perhaps Steven's memory and her love for him were 
more powerful rivals than the man himself could ever have been. She'd gone on 
with her life, hadn't she? While he had been mourning her, going out of his mind 
with his love and need for her, she had slipped easily into a life with another 
man. This Steven had replaced him completely, even raising his daughter as his 
own. And as his despair turned to anger, he wasn't sure if it was directed at 
Steven for taking what was his, or at Natalie for so easily letting him.
	The pain and the fury that he'd kept locked away welled in him now. 
Somehow it hadn't seemed so awful when he'd thought that she'd loved him all 
these years, that she loved him still, and would be his again. But now, her faded 
love  seemed to mock the depth of his. All the words of love she'd spoken to him 
in the past, all the promises to stay with him no matter what, seemed utterly 
meaningless....
	And yet, why did she still wear his ring?  Once more he thought with 
anguish of that night on the beach, of the passion in her kiss.... It had meant 
something, it had to!
	His mind was swimming, his rage drowning in a sea of misery. And 
yet, his heart grasped for the lifeline of hope in the many moments of tenderness 
between them. She *had* felt...something...for him. It was there. It hadn't all 
been one sided, the hopeless fantasy of his own desire. Had it?
	He needed to think. He needed air. Yet as he stood now on the beach, 
he realized that this was indeed the spot where he had first seen her that night, so 
enthralling in that bikini that had left so little to his imagination and memory. 
And as he allowed himself to dwell on the sensation of holding her, kissing her, 
Nick began to weep. He couldn't lose her again. He couldn't....
	"Nick?"
	He turned in surprise at the voice behind him. And as he saw her eyes 
open wide with concern, he cursed himself for letting her see him like this.
	"Are you all right?"
  	It wasn't hard to find a slight smile for his daughter. "I'm okay," he 
assured her, but the emotion in his voice belied his pain.
	"No, you're not," she said knowingly. "What happened? What got you 
so upset?"
	He hated having to be the one to tell her. But he knew that being a real 
father would mean dealing with the most painful and difficult of situations. More 
than anything he needed to make sure that no matter what happened between him 
and Natalie, nothing would harm the fragiole  new realtionship that he had 
fostered with his daughter. She had to know that she would always come first in 
his life. He took a deep breath and began. "Niki, I spoke to Janette tonight. 
LaCroix saw a picture of you in the paper. He suspects you're my daughter. He's 
looking for us..."
	Calm resignation in her eyes. "So we have to go away. Where are we 
going?"
	He knew that he could not betray his anger to her. He realized that the 
right way to do this would be to make it seem as if it had been a mutual decision. 
But he couldn't bear to let her think that he wanted anything less than to spend 
the rest of his life at her side. So as delicately as he could, he said, "Niki, your 
mom thinks it would be better if the three of you went away without me."
	Her lips parted in shock, as her blue eyes opened wide. God, she 
looked so much like Nat. "What do you mean? You have to go with us!" she said 
in alarm.
	"I want to. But your mom..." His voice trailed off. How to explain this 
without really laying blame upon Natalie? He'd try the safe tack. "Now that my 
vampirism is coming back, LaCroix might be able to track us down..."
	"Then we'll keep moving. Or never go out at night. There's got to be 
something! Don't you love us? Don't you want to be with us?"
	Her sudden outburst of panic tore at his heart strings. "Of course I do!" 
he said, his voice choked with emotion.
	"We've gotten to be like a family! You've got to come with us! 
Please!" she begged, tears beginning to fill her eyes.
	"I know we have," he said softly. "But Niki, sometimes as time goes 
on, people's feelings change. Your mother and I--"
	"What are you trying to say? That you don't love her anymore?" It was 
more a statement of disbelief than an accusation. And the irony of her words 
begged him to say to her what he had difficulty admitting to himself. 
	"I love her more than anyone I have in eight hundred years," he assured 
her, then added tenderly, "except you."
	He could see in her eyes the love she reciprocated, though she still 
found it hard to admit, as she implored, "Then don't let us go without you, 
please!" 
	"Niki, she doesn't want me to come," he said finally, his voice now 
barely above a whisper.
	Now she was incredulous. "That's not true. It can't be--"
	"Your mother doesn't feel the same about me any more. She doesn't 
want to go back to ...how we were..." There, he'd admitted it. To her. To himself. 
But the truth was not liberating. On the contrary, it filled him with agony to hear 
himself say it.
	"You're wrong," she said with certainty. "She loves you. I know it!"
	He knew the tears had returned to his eyes as he explained in as fair a 
manner as possible, "She did once, Niki. But she's been through a lot. She loved 
your...step-father...very much--"
	"I know, but she never stopped loving you! She told me!"
	For a moment this took him aback, but he couldn't allow himself to 
find any hope in her words, which were probably no more than her own wishiful 
thinking.
	She could see him hesitate, fo she said, "Really. It was when she first 
told me about you. The day before Daddy was killed. She admitted to me that 
she'd never stopped loving you. Didn't you notice that she's still wearing the 
ring you gave her?"
	He took in a deep breath. "Niki, maybe she thought she did, but I 
suppose that after spending time together, she realized that she doesn't--"
	"Did she tell you that?" she challenged. "You can't tell me that she 
actually said she doesn't love you."
	He shook his head. "No, but she told me that too much time has 
passed. That we can't go back. That she's changed...she's not the same 
woman...."
	Niki seemed to consider everything he was saying, as if searching for 
some answer to her mother's behavior. When the realization hit, her face lit up 
with understanding. "Oh God, don't you know what's going on here?"
	"What?" he asked, wishing that she could really shed light on a 
situation that seemed utterly hopeless. 
	She hesitated, and Nick wondered if she thought she were betraying a 
trust by confiding in him something about her mother, the one person in the 
world to whom she was closest. But her desire to repair an irreparable situation 
won out. "It's because you're still a vampire--and you haven't aged. She thinks 
she's gotten too old for you."
	His heart sank. He knew Natalie too well, and this had to be totally off 
the mark.  "What? Niki, that can't be. That's ridiculous--"
	"She's afraid that she'll just keep getting older, and you'll stay the 
same, and you won't want her anymore," she insisted. "I know that's it. Trust 
me."
	He shook his head in despair, utterly dismissing the thought. "No, 
Niki, I'm sorry. I wish you were right, and that it was that simple. But it can't be. 
Look at her--she's beautiful. She couldn't possibly think that."
	"I know she is, but don't you remember how she reacted when she saw 
that picture of you two?"
	"She just didn't like the picture--"
	"And how she got upset each time one of those girls started to flirt 
with you--"
	"What girls?" he asked, totally lost now.
	"And you called Janette, tonight, right? And she knows?"
	"Yes, but--"
	"Bad move," she admonished.
	"Why?" he asked, confused.
	"Because she used to be your girlfriend. And she'd still young, and 
beautiful--"
	"But they're friends now, " he argued.  "You saw them. She's known 
for a long time that she has no reason to be jealous of Janette."
	"That's true, but don't you think it must upset her to think that while 
she's getting older, Janette is still going to be young and beautiful, just like when 
you were together? It's got to make her feel self-conscious."
	He was convinced now of one thing--that his daughter, in her desire to 
see them together, was grasping totally at straws. "Niki, listen to me. Your 
mother has to know after all this time, after all we've been through, that I love 
her more than my own life. I can't even begin to believe that she would be 
concerned about getting a few gray hairs, that it would make any difference to 
me. I know her. She's not vain--"
	"No, she's not," Niki said, with conviction. "But she is afraid."
	Nick sighed. "Niki--"
	"How can you live eight hundred years and understand so little about 
women?" she asked in frustration.
	If he hadn't been in such a depression, he might have smiled at her 
impatience with him. But none of this was in the least bit funny. "Niki, I wish to 
God I could change her mind. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose you, 
or Richie. But I can't make her love me," he said bitterly.
	"You don't have to. She already does," she said, measuring every 
word. "You just have to convince her that nothing else matters."
	He was silent. She was so resolute in her belief, that he could almost 
hang his hopes on her words.
	"Just promise me one thing," she begged.
	His face softened with his tenderness for her as he raised his hand up 
to caress her hair. "I'll do anything you want," he said passionately.
	"Talk to her again. Don't let her do this without talking to her again."
	He nodded, and she fell into his arms, hugging him tightly, 
possessively. And he held onto her, relishing every moment. At least this was one 
love that he would never lose, no matter what. Tangible proof of his and natalie's 
love. She was their flesh, their essence. And he vowed silently that even if the 
worst happened, and Natalie did leave, he would let nothing come between him 
and his little girl. He would always be close by, no matter where she was. After 
all, without Natalie, Nicolette was all that he had--his only reason to go on. 	"It'll be okay," he whispered in her ear. And somehow, holding his baby in his arms, he couldn't help but feel that it would be.

	Natalie was numb. She lay on her bed in the darkness, knowing there 
were things she should do. Richie was up way too late playing computer games; 
she'd have to bathe him and get him to bed. Niki was off somewhere, and she 
didn't like the idea of her being alone outside, no matter how secluded they 
were. And Nick...
	She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to run to him and tell him that 
she had been wrong. It wasn't too late, was it?
	But it *was*. Too late for regrets.  Too late to take back the words that 
had hurt him.
	Too late for them.
	It was better this way, she argued. Yet the thought of him only 
footsteps away, wanting her as much as she wanted him...
	*You'll get over him.You did before.*
	But as the silent tears streamed down her face she knew that it was a 
lie. She had never gotten over loving him. She never would. Somehow the fear of 
growing too old for him paled in comparison now to the anguish in the pit of her 
stomach at the thought of never having him again. He was here. Now. No longer 
a haunting memory of the past. Why was she so afraid?
	*Because it hurt too much to lose him the first time*, she told herself. 
She couldn't go through that again. And yet the illogic of her own actions 
mystified her. She was pushing him away to prevent him from leaving her 
somewhere down the line? A small part of her told her that it made sense. Yet 
another cursed her for her foolish pride and insecurity. She would not be the 
only one hurt if she were to leave Nick now.
	As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. She sat up suddenly, 
automatically, her heart missing a beat. She couldn't possibly talk to him now. In 
her present state, she was so confused about what she should do that she might 
relent and be sorry later....
	"Come in," she called, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.
	She'd expected Nick. But it was the one person she wanted to face 
even less than him right now.
	Niki's eyes were ablaze with anger as she came towards her, and even 
in the darkness she could see the dried tears on her face. "Why are you doing this 
to me?!" she shouted.
	Natalie's eyes opened wide as she realized with sudden dread that 
Nick must have told Niki of her plans. She hadn't expected this. Or maybe she 
had, but hadn't wanted to deal with the complexities of her decision. How could 
she possibly explain to Niki now?
	"Niki, I'm not doing anything to *you*," she began, wishing at once 
she hadn't sounded so defensive.
	"Yes you are. I've already lost one father. And now you're taking me 
away from the other!" she accused.
	Perhaps the intensity of Niki's new-found feelings for Nick had not 
struck her until this moment. But with the realization came an overwhelming 
guilt. "Niki, I'm sorry," she told her, meaning it with all her heart. "But you'll 
see him again. I promise. It's just safer this way--"
	"Bullshit, Mom," Niki spat at her. "I know all about LaCroix. But it 
shouldn't make a difference. We can all go off together somewhere, and you 
know that. That's not the reason you said you don't want to be with him!"
	Natalie's face flushed. "And what is the reason?"
	Nicolette hesitated a moment as if not having expected to say it aloud. 
Natalie almost wished she wouldn't. But she had never lied to her daughter, and 
wouldn't start now. She waited to see if Nicolette was on the mark. And to her 
own embarrassment, she was.
	"You're afraid he's going to leave you when you get older," she 
blurted. 
	"Okay," she admitted calmly, "you're right. That is part of it. But Niki, 
you've got to understand something. Whether or not your father and I decide to 
be together like that again--has to be his decision and mine. And I know you 
want to see us together, but--"
	"But you're making the decision for him, too, Mom. That's not what 
he wants!"
	"I know," she said, unnerved. "But it's what I want."
	"I don't believe you," her daughter told her in no uncertain terms.
	Natalie didn't respond. Nicolette had never spoken to her like this, 
even in their worst mother-daughter fights. But she fought the urge to simply end 
the conversation on her authority as the parent. This was not a normal situation, 
by any means.
	"Mommy, he thinks you don't love him anymore! Please, tell him the 
truth!" she begged.
	Natalie looked into her daughter's eyes, seeing Niki's hurt...and 
Nick's. "I can't," she said feebly.
	The anger flared once more as Nicolette said, "Then you're just being 
selfish! You're not thinking about him, or me, or Richie!"
	"Niki, please try to understand!" she said in frustration. But even as 
the words escaped her, she wasn't sure if she, herself, understood. She reached 
out to her daughter, but Nicolette pulled away.
	"I don't understand," Niki told her. "But I will tell you this. I'm not 
going anywhere without him!"
	With that she stormed from the room.
	Natalie slowly sank back to the bed, numb once more. She wanted to 
be angry at Niki. She wanted to be angry at Nick for whatever he had told her. 
Surely if she had been the one to tell Niki, she could have explained it to her....
	No. She knew in her heart, she couldn't have. Just as she knew that 
every word, every accusation, her daughter had thrown at her, had been true.
	For a long while she lay on the bed thinking...trying not to think. 
Finally, when she heard the music from the computer game downstairs stop, she 
pulled herself from the bed. She went to the hallway, just in time to see Nick 
carrying a sleeping Richie in his arms. Nicolette's words haunted her. Seeing her 
son nestled against Nick's chest, his little arm around his neck, she didn't know 
how she could possibly take this new father figure away from him. And Nick 
seemed to adore him, hugging him to him as he brought him to his bedroom. She 
almost slipped back into her room, not wanting to interrupt the moment. But 
Nick saw her and stopped. "He fell asleep playing," he said in a whisper. "I 
thought I'd put him to bed."
	"Thanks," she said simply. She wanted to say so much more. And for a 
long moment he seemed to hesitate as if hoping for more. But then he turned 
from her, continuing on his task.
	She watched him carefully set Richie down, pulling off his shoes and 
socks, changing him into pajamas. She wanted to go help him, or offer to do it 
herself. But he was enjoying this, she knew, and had every time he'd helped her 
put the little boy to bed. She'd done so much to hurt him tonight. She couldn't 
take this from him too.
	And suddenly, seeing him like this, realizing how comfortably he'd 
slipped into the role of father for both of her kids, she was filled with such a 
renewed love for him that she started to cry. Nicolette was so right! She was 
being selfish. She knew it. And she was hurting all of them.
	Nick was about to turn to the door, and she quickly closed her own.
	"Coward," she whispered to herself. And she was. But she couldn't 
face him. Not yet. She had to think it out, be sure. She wouldn't torture him with 
any more of her indecision. And she would do whatever was best, not just for 
her, but for all of them.
	If only she could figure out what that was. 


	Nicolette was furious. With her mother for what she was doing. With 
Nick, for not putting up more of a fight. With herself.
	She'd never spoken to her mother like that. And she wanted to go back 
now, make up with her as they always did after a fight. She wished she could hug 
her, cry in her arms like when she was little, and convince her that she was 
making a mistake...
	But somehow, she could see why Nick hadn't even had the strength to 
press the issue further. Her mother had this stupid idea in her head, and she 
would stubbornly stick to her guns unless they could both convince her 
otherwise...
	Suddenly, it struck her how strange this all was...that it should be so 
terribly important to her that she stay with the father she'd known for so short a 
time. Hadn't it been only two months ago that she had told him those hurtful 
words?
	*You're not my father. My father is dead.*
	Loving him now, as she certainly had grown to, she was ashamed of 
herself for having hurt him so. She could see the anguish of years, no, of 
centuries, in his eyes, hear the love he had for all of them in his voice. She knew 
what it meant for him to be reunited with them. If only she could bring herself to 
tell him how much she loved him too. Yet there was still something which 
compelled her to hold back.
	Daddy. She missed him so much! Each hug that she shared with her 
real father, each moment of closeness, filled her with guilt. She shouldn't be this 
happy; she shouldn't let him into the heart that still ached for the man who'd 
been her Dad for ten years. It was disloyal. She knew that her mother must feel it 
too. She had no doubt that Mommy had loved him very deeply. Feeling as she 
did for Nick, agonizing over those questions about their future, had to make her 
uneasy, too. It had only been two months, and it was painful to think that if 
Daddy were watching them now from heaven, he would be hurt to see how easily 
Nick had seemed to take his place.
	Was that what was happening? Did she love Nick so much, so 
intensely, because she needed to replace the father she'd lost? Perhaps. But she 
knew it was more than that. He was her father. He was just as sweet, kind and 
loving as Mommy had said. Loving him just seemed right. And beyond even that, 
she had come to realize that there was a connection she felt with him, a bond that 
went beyond the mortal ties of blood. Each time he fell back into his vampirism, 
it grew stronger, until she could sense him, feel him, through the blood they 
shared. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, and served only to intensify 
her feelings for him. She was a part of him; everything that was him, the good 
and the evil, flowed through her veins. Finally she could define what she was, 
through him. For the first time since her frightening transformation had begun, 
she understood that, and somehow, being with him, having him there for support, 
made it a lot less scary. 
	She wondered now where he had gone, as she stepped outside into the 
cool night air. Probably inside. Maybe she'd knocked some sense into them 
both, and they were making up right now....
	Suddenly, Nicolette tensed as a chill ran through her, and she realized 
that she was not alone. That sensation, that fear began to grip her, as she felt the 
heat rise instinctively to her eyes. It couldn't be happening so soon, could it? 
He'd taken the drug....
	But no. She felt none of the warmth that came with her father's 
essence, the love that seemed to reach out to her beyond the instinctual fear as 
their natures clashed. Yet she'd felt this before....
	In Athens.
	She turned suddenly, her heart racing as she saw the man standing 
before her. And though his eyes were clear, and he smiled at her without any 
trace of his beast, she knew.
	He was a vampire. And he was on their deserted island.

	Nicolette's first instinct was to scream. For her mother. For Nick. Yet 
the vampire before her pointedly stood a safe distance away, as if sensing her 
fear. He raised his hands into the air in a gesture of surrender, though she knew 
that at any moment he could transform and kill her. Even if she screamed, she 
would be dead before they could reach her. No, whatever he wanted, it wasn't to 
drain her. That he could have done in the time it was taking her to think about it. 
	"I mean you no harm," he said in a kind voice.
	"I know what you are," she said, as if in warning.
	"If you know what I am, then you know that I could have killed you 
already--if I'd wanted to. I don't want to hurt you. There's no reason to be 
afraid."
	"I'm not," she lied, still keeping her distance.
	He was eyeing her in a way she didn't like, his gaze passing 
appreciatively over her body, then coming once more to rest on her face. She 
stared at him coldly, letting him know that if he tried to control her, he wouldn't 
be able to. Nick had taught her that.
	He laughed. "Come on, relax, I'm not going to try to hypnotize you, if 
that's what you're worried about." He paused as if seeing something familiar in 
her, though she knew she'd never seen him before. "Besides," he added as an 
afterthought. "Experience tells me it wouldn't work."
	"Who are you?" she asked, not breaking her glare.
	"A friend," he supplied readily, though it was clear he had no intention 
of giving his name. "I know your father, and your mother."
	"If you're their friend, then why didn't you come up to us when you 
saw us in Athens?" she challenged.
	He raised an eyebrow as if impressed that she had sensed him there. "I 
didn't want to cause a scene," he said with sigh, then added, "Besides, you're the 
one I wanted to talk to."
	"Why? Because I'm--?" She caught herself before she could say it. 
Suppose he didn't know? Though if he was a friend of her parents, he had to 
know of her dual nature.
	"A dhampir?" he finished for her,  as if just to tell her that he did 
indeed know what she was.
	She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that he was 
right.
	"I came to warn you," he said, taking a step closer. The sincerity in his 
voice, in his eyes, was overpowering. 
	"Warn me about what?" she asked suspiciously, although she did not 
retreat as he came closer. Her curiosity, about him, and what he was, not to 
mention what he had to say, was getting the better of her.
	"You're in grave danger," he told her, his dark eyes boring into her.
	"I've known that for two months," she said, dismissing it. "That's old 
news..."
	"I'm not talking about the Enforcers," he said confidentailly. 
	"Then who?" she asked.
	He took a deep breath, as if this were difficult for him. "Your father. 
Nicholas," he said finally.
	She shook her head in firm denial. "He would never hurt me," she told 
him with certainty.
	"You don't understand, Nicolette. He never told you the legend about 
the blood of a dhampir?"
	She wanted desperately to say that he had, to blow his accusation out 
of the water. But if she lied and said she knew the legend, this vampire would 
never tell her what it was. And something told her this wasn't something Nick 
had wanted to talk about. She shook her head.
	"Legend says, that if a vampire wants to become mortal, he must father 
a dhampir. And then, when she's of age, when she's hit puberty...he must drain 
her. Drinking her blood will transform him into a mortal. " He paused, letting 
this sink in, then said, "Don't you see, Niki? Didn't you wonder why it wasn't 
until now that he came into your life? He was waiting until the time was right--"
	"No!" she told him steadily, though the story had shaken her enough to  
bring an edge to her voice. "You're wrong. Even if that really is a legend, he 
wouldn't do it. He loves me--"
	"As much as he loves your mother?" he asked dubiously. "Niki, you 
saw him tonight! He's desperate to be with her. And the only way they can truly 
be together, is if he becomes mortal. But he's running out of time. She's getting 
older. He's going to have to make some drastic move to keep her..."
	This was all true. But the rest--it couldn't be! "If  you were really his 
friend, then you would know that he hasn't killed anyone in over a hundred 
years."
	The vampire shook his head with a sad expression of pity. "Oh Niki," 
he said, with a compassion that seemed real. "You really don't know, do you?"
	"Know what?" she asked, unable to hide her panic. She was beyond 
suspicion now. She had to know what he had come to say. Perhaps he was luring 
her in for some great deception, but for what purpose? All she knew was that his 
words had brought a dull ache to the pit of her stomach as her mind raced ahead, 
and she cursed herself for even daring to think the unthinkable.
	"To have her, he would kill anyone who got in his way." He paused, 
looking into her eyes as if to dare her to search his for the truth. "He already has 
killed, Niki."
	The ache became a stabbing pain as the horror of his revelation 
assailed her full-force.
	"He murdered your step-father."
	"No!" she cried, no longer able to maintain a facade of calm. "You're 
lying! How could you possibly know?!"
	"I was there," he told her with chagrin. "I tried to stop him. But he's 
insane. When he finally found out where you were, and saw that Natalie had 
remarried--he couldn't handle it. Something snapped--"
	"I don't believe you!" she spat at him.
	The vampire pointed to her neck, his cool fingertips brushing against 
her skin and sending a shiver down her spine. "The marks were there, right? He 
was found in the living room, at the bottom of the stairs. He was wearing beige 
pants, and a light blue button-down shirt..."
	"Stop it!"
	"Niki, I know every detail because I was there! I went with him to find 
her, and when he saw her husband, he flipped out--"
	"He was taking the drug," she argued, trying to think quickly enough 
to find holes in his argument. "He couldn't have drained anyone--"
	"He took the drug after he did it--when he knew he'd be going to see 
her, to offer to take you all to safety. Don't you see, Niki, he got rid of his 
competition, and at the same time created a perfect situation. Your mother would 
think you were all in danger and would let him take you away."
	"That's not...him. He wouldn't do that--" she faltered. "He's not a 
killer--"
	Again, that sympathetic yet condescending smile. "Niki, he was a 
killer for  seven hundred years--"
	"But he's not anymore!" She hated herself for even listening to this 
nonsense. And yet there was something sickeningly compelling about it. He did 
love Mommy desperately--but enough to kill her husband? *Enough to kill me?*
	"What is the life of one mortal, when you've killed hundreds of 
thousands? Especially when that one mortal stands in the way of you and a 
woman you've been obsessed with for fifteen years?"
	A depraved argument in the mortal world. But in the vampire world...
	"How do I know you didn't do it?" she accused, her last logical retort. 
:"Maybe you know what happened because you're the one who killed him!"
	"You don't," he said, all too patiently. "But consider this. Who had 
something to gain by your step-father's death?"
	She refused to answer. She refused to give him the only logical answer.
	"Anyone could have done it...Anyone who saw us the night before in 
Janette's restaurant, and knew I was a dhampir..."
	He shook his head sadly. "Niki, haven't you ever considered that if 
someone were out to kill you for being a dhampir, they would have killed you 
right then and there? Even if your step-father just got in the way, and they really 
were after you---why wouldn't they just go upstairs and kill you? No, honey. 
Killing Steven had nothing to do with you. It was about Natalie. That's it."
	She hated him for this. He had an answer, a seemingly valid 
explanation, for everything. It was maddening! He had taken the single most 
horrific event of her young life, and in moments led her from confusion and guilt, 
to a new, and more dangerous, suspicion and fear. It couldn't be true! And yet, so 
much of it seemed to make sense...
	"No one wanted to kill you, Niki, " he said, driving the point home. "I 
don't think anyone else even knows about you, except me. It was all about your 
mother. It always was, and it always will be."
	Niki struggled to take hold of her emotions as she formulated one last 
question. "So why are *you* here now?"
	"Just to warn you. The more desperate he becomes to have her, the 
more likely he'll try to become human--no matter what the cost."
	Niki looked away from him, swallowing hard. She couldn't let him see 
her fear, especially if that fear were of her father. She wouldn't give him that 
satisfaction. "I think you'd better go now," she told him as she looked back 
sternly into his eyes.
	He didn't resist. "You be careful," he warned, with a concern that 
seemed real. And he flew off into the night.
	Niki watched him until he was nothing more than a dot in the 
moonlight. The instinctual fear she had felt of him had dissipated with his 
departure. But the seed of doubt he had planted in her mind would be far more 
difficult to vanquish.
	
	Nicolette had closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses to make 
sure that the vampire was truly gone. 
	There was nothing. No one. She was alone.
	Suddenly the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach seemed to 
reverberate in her brain,  and the black sea looming ominously before her filled 
her with apprehension. Being alone had never seemed so terrifying before. But it 
was the threat of what lay in the shadows that unnerved her. For if this vampire 
had found them here in their private domain ...
	...anyone could.
	Nicolette ran, as if running for her life. Only when she'd shut and 
locked the door behind her, a futile precaution she knew, did she allow herself to 
breath. And with her gasp for air, silent tears filled her eyes.
	What was she going to do? Tell Mommy? No. She had so much on her 
mind right now, so much to deal with. Knowing that a vampire had found them 
here would scare her out of her wits. Besides, how could she tell her mother what 
this vampire had accused Nick of doing? If it were true, it would destroy her. 
And if it were a lie, she would be furious with Niki for even considering it.
	She could go to her father...but how would he react? If it were a lie, it 
would hurt him terribly to think that she might have believed it.  And if it were 
true....
	He could kill her.
	*No!* her heart cried out. *He loves me! He wouldn't hurt me!" Yet 
the vampire had so accurately described her father's desperation. Nick's deep, 
undying love for her mother had seemed so romantic, so beautiful. Was it 
obsession? An obsession so fierce, so perverse, that it would drive him to 
murder?
	The image of Daddy lying dead, a victim not just of some vampire but 
of the world of which she was a part, swam before her. For weeks she'd struggled 
with her grief, and her guilt, as she'd come to recognize and accept her growing 
feelings for her real father. Somehow, she'd struck a comfortable balance, 
finding that, like her mother, she had room in her heart for both of them. But if 
the worst were true, and Nick had killed Daddy in a jealous rage, she knew that 
she could hate him just as intensely as she loved him now. She knew that she 
could kill him. And just the thought of that scared the hell out of her.
	Could she have been so wrong about him? Could she have sensed so 
much good in him, and not recognized the evil deception lurking behind the 
gentle exterior? Had she, in her blind desire to know him, to love him, paid her 
stepfather the greatest disrespect of all, allowing his assassin to take his place in 
her life? The thought of that enraged her to the point that she could feel the gold 
flecks burning in her eyes....
	With the stealth of a vampire she made her way upstairs, peeking into 
her mother's room. Natalie was asleep, probably physically and emotionally 
exhausted from their day. Nicolette scanned the room quickly. Where had she 
put it?
	With a memory that seemed sharper than ever, she recalled her mother 
placing the gun with wooden bullets in the top drawer of her dresser, showing 
her first how to use it, saying that she prayed it would not come to this, but if 
Niki ever had to protect herself...
	She reached into the drawer, found the pistol, checked to make sure 
that everything was in place. Then she stole from the room, heaving a sigh of 
relief that she had gone in and out unnoticed.
	She would protect herself. Beyond that, she would protect her mother 
and her brother, guarding their lives with her own. She looked across the hallway 
to Nick's door, slightly ajar....
	She knew what she had to do. It was the only way to guarantee their 
safety. The only way she knew to protect them.
	After all, this was her purpose, wasn't it? Destiny had written the 
script, and given her the role. She was ready to play it out. 
	She was a hunter, wasn't she?

	She knew that Nick was asleep even before she slipped quietly into his 
bedroom. With her preternatural hearing, she had heard his steady breathing, had 
listened to his slow but regular heartbeat. It was too slow, she thought to herself. 
That could only mean that once more, the drug was beginning to wear off, as his 
body began the inevitable return to its vampiric state.
	Then, what?
	She forced herself to look at him, to try to imagine him doing the 
appalling deed of which he'd been accused. But as she watched his sleeping 
form, and the benevolence of his expression, she simply couldn't see it. No. He 
couldn't have done it...
	Yet he had killed hundreds of thousands by his own admission.
	Would he kill her too? Would he go that far to attain the elusive 
humanity he craved? As his nature returned, and Natalie began to slip away from 
him, would his desperation drive him to that?
	She wished she knew. She wanted to convince herself that he could 
never harm her, that he loved her as much as he said. But she'd seen the anguish 
in his eyes, the hopelessness...
	Nicolette remembered the gun in her pocket, and thought long and 
hard about if she would be able to use it against him. If her worst fears were true, 
and if he were going to kill her to achieve his mortality, could she find it in 
herself to kill him?
	With despair she realized that the answer was no. She couldn't. Her 
life was truly in his hands. All she could do was pray that the vampire's words 
had been some cruelly constructed lie to turn her against her father.
	But that wasn't all she could do. At once she remembered her purpose 
for being here. She scanned the room quickly until she found it.
	His cellular phone. She lifted it quietly from his dresser, leaving the 
room silently and hurrying downstairs.
	Alone, she turned it on, thankful that he had shown he how to use it, 
and told her his secret code. She knew the last person he had called--he never 
would have used the house phone for fear that someone would trace the call. It 
rang and rang. What time was it in California? Nine hours behind? Eight?
	"Hello?" A man's voice, with noise in the background. People. 
Laughter. The restaurant was open.
	"Can I speak to Janette, please? It's urgent."
	The man hesitated before asking, "Who's calling?"
	She thought of the wisest thing to say, then smiled slightly as it came 
to her. "Tell her it's her little sister."
	This certainly gave him reason to pause. But he mumbled for her to 
wait, and what seemed like an eternity later, Janette's voice greeted her with a 
mixture of surprise and concern.
	"Niki? Is that you? Are you all right?"
	She thought she would cry in relief to hear her. "Janette, listen. I can't 
talk long. But I need your help. A vampire came to the island tonight--"
	"Who was it?" she asked in sudden alarm. "Are you all all right?"
	"I don't know, and yes, we're fine. No one else saw him but me--"
	"Did you tell your parents? You must--"
	"Janette, I can't," she said, hearing the desperate edge in her own 
voice. "He said he's a friend. And he said that I'm in danger." She hesitated, 
finding it near impossible to voice the part that had terrified her. But this was 
Janette, her friend, her sister in blood. And with the relief that she could finally 
relieve herself of this burden, she blurted, "Janette, he said that Nick killed my 
step-father--that he was there, and saw him do it!"
	"Niki, that's impossible!"
	"He said that there's a legend that a vampire becomes mortal by 
fathering a dhampir and drinking her blood. Janette, I'm so scared!" she cried.
	"Nicolette, listen to me," Janette said sternly. "I've known your father 
for eight hundred years. He would never hurt you--no matter what!"
	"You haven't seen him, Janette!" she sobbed. "The drug isn't working 
anymore, and he thinks he's losing Mommy! Please, I'm so afraid! I need you to 
come here! Please!"
	"Niki, please, calm down and tell me where you are--"
	"An island. Ten miles south of Crete," she told her, remembering the 
directions from Nick's map.
	"Okay, Niki, I'll be there as soon as I can. But I've got to arrange for a 
private plane. It might not be until some time tomorrow. In the meantime, you 
must tell your father about the other vampire! Promise me you'll--"
	Suddenly a rustling of slippers on the steps. Niki's heart skipped a 
beat as she said in a hushed whisper, "I've got to go!"
	"Niki, wait!"
	She shut off the power, hiding the phone under the couch cushions, as 
she looked up in apprehension to see who was there.
	Her entire body sighed in relief. "Oh God, its you, Richie. What are 
you doing up? You scared the--"
	"Who were you talking to, Niki?" he asked, ignoring her query.
	"Nobody, what do you--"
	"I saw you. I saw you outside with a man."
	Niki's mouth dropped open. "You what?"
	"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, and when I looked out the 
window--"
	She grabbed his arms. "Richie, did you tell anyone? Tell me the truth."
	He shook his head vigorously. "No! I promise!"
	"I don't want you to tell Mommy or Nick." She hesitated, knowing 
that Richie had been taught not to keep any secrets from his mother, a natural 
precaution given the situation in the world today. "It's a surprise," she told him, 
hating to lie but knowing she must. "A friend of Nick's who's coming to visit. 
Please, promise me you won't tell them yet, okay?'
	"Okay," he agreed, non-plussed. 
	A while later, she had escorted him back to bed, waited until he was 
asleep, then come back downstairs. She double-checked the doors, then looked 
out the windows on all sides of the house to make sure that no one was lurking 
in the shadows. Sweeping out with her senses, she felt no one.
	They were alone. For now, at least. She glanced at her watch. Two a.m. 
Sunrise would be in about four hours. Grabbing a bottle of Coke purely for its 
caffeine value, she settled back on the couch, the wooden-bullet gun in her hand. 
Waiting.
	Janette would be here soon. She would straighten everything out. But 
until then, Nicolette would not sleep until the sun was in the sky. If any vampire 
dared come near them, she would be ready.


	Nick awoke to the sound of raindrops lightly tapping on his window, 
the first summer storm since they'd been here. It was just as well. The gray 
cloud-filled sky was so terribly apropos of his mood right now, that a cheery 
sunny day would have gone unappreciated.
	It was nearly ten, yet surprisingly, no one was up. He showered, 
dressed and went downstairs, switching on the television to find a ten-year old 
American show with Greek subtitles. He shut it off, for the first time in two 
months making a conscious effort to think of something to do.
	There was nothing. And the dull ache in his stomach that had gown 
stronger with each passing moment of anxiety reached a pinnacle of pain. He was 
hungry, he knew, and should take advantage of his last opportunities to enjoy 
food as a mortal man. But he knew that his nerves were about to break, and 
anything he ate right now would most probably make him feel even worse. In a 
moment of horrible clarity it occurred to him that he had not felt this physical 
and emotional pain since before he'd found Natalie and his daughter. But it was 
an all too familiar sensation that had plagued him on and off for years. And it 
would plague him again. For once Natalie and the children were gone, his life 
would, in effect, be over. Every ounce of fulfillment that he'd known was slowly 
being drained away. And the boredom, frustration, and lonely despair that he felt 
right now would once again become his only companions. 
	In nearly eight hundred years, he had found so many diversions, so 
many ways to pass time. Without the woman he loved, without the daughter that 
meant more to him than his own life, and the little boy whose innocence cast joy 
on his soul, what was there? What was the point of carrying on without them?
	He remembered his vow to Nicolette, and he would keep it. But two 
months of optimism and patience had been washed away by last night's changing 
tide. No matter what his daughter said, the truth was painfully clear.
	Natalie simply did not love him anymore. He could think it, admit it, 
had even said it aloud. But accept it? Hardly. Live with it? Impossible. Too much 
had happened; loving her had transformed him in a way he'd never imagined 
possible. He needed her now as he would once more need blood to survive. 
Losing her again  would be something from which he knew he no longer had the 
strength or desire to recover.
	Footsteps on the stairs brought him from his reverie. He smiled sadly 
to see Richie running towards him, with an enthusiasm he couldn't remember in 
himself.
	"Wanna play a game, Nick?" he asked hopefully.
	"Sure. But I think maybe we'd better have breakfast first."
	Minutes later he found himself sitting across the breakfast table with 
Richie, enjoying a bowl of cereal more than he'd expected he would. Somehow 
the boy had the power to bring him from his depression, and even this morning 
would be no exception. They spoke of the fun they'd had in Athens, the food, the 
dancing, and the computer games they'd bought. Nick almost allowed himself to 
forget last night as the fond memories transported them to a happier time of less 
than twenty-four hours ago. Suddenly, the boy's face grew serious.
	"Nick, can I ask you something?"
	"Anything you want," he told him.
	"Is it true that you're Niki's daddy?"
	Nick hesitated, not really certain how to respond, unsure of what 
Natalie had told him. But he had to answer honestly. "Yes. I knew your Mommy 
a long time ago, and we had Niki, before she even met your dad."
	Richie's face grew dark. "My daddy's dead, you know. He went to 
Heaven."
	Nick put his hand on the boy's arm. "I know," he replied in a low 
voice. What more could he say?
	The child paused as if trying o formulate a question, then said, "Do 
you think maybe you could make believe you're my daddy too?"
	Nick's heart rose up into his throat, and tears nearly filled his eyes as 
he said, "I'd really love that, Richie."
	Richie smiled, satisfied with that, then a frown crossed his face as if he 
remembered something. "But I heard Mommy and Niki fighting about us going 
away. Is that true? Are we gonna go without you?"
	"I hope not," he told him honestly.
	"Me too," Richie intimated, then pulled him by the hand. "Come on, 
let's play Tekken10!"
	And for the next four hours, Nick had something perfectly delightful 
to do.

 
	Natalie had hid her face in the pillows and avoided getting out of bed 
one too many times. She was wide awake. No longer could she escape into the 
nothingness of sleep, where life was surreal, and no action irreversible. 
Tomorrow had come. The day when she would have to make the decision that 
would affect them all. 
	She'd thought she'd made it.  She'd been so certain...yet now, nothing 
was certain except the uncertainty of their future. Could she really be doing what 
was best for them when both Nick and Niki were miserable? Had she felt any 
better deciding to break her ties with Nick? No. She was just as disconsolate as 
they were. No, this couldn't be the answer....
	But what was, then?
	She showered, dressed, and passed by Niki's room, concerned to see 
her door closed. She knocked. "Niki, are you okay?" she called to her daughter's 
sleepy response.
	"Yes, I just need to sleep!" she moaned tiredly.
	She left her alone, suppressing her own desire to resolve things 
between them. 	They'd always been so close; Nicolette had been her best friend. 
It pained her to be at odds with her. But what could she possibly tell her 
daughter anyway, that she hadn't said last night? She could admit that Niki had 
been right, of course. But until she was ready to act on that, there was no point in 
discussing it.
	Natalie could hear the thwapping sound of computer animation 
fighting from downstairs, and followed it to find Richie and Nick engrossed in 
battle. She smiled wistfully to see them together like this. Perhaps Richie, in 
losing his father, had been the greatest victim of all in this awful mess. He 
needed Nick in his life, perhaps even more than she did--if that were possible. 
Both Richie and Nicolette would love it if they could all go on as they had been. 
But they couldn't, could they? The emotion, the desire, the sexual frustration, 
had been building up between her and Nick since the moment they'd met again. 
They'd come to the fork in the road, the point at which they would have to take 
the relationship to its natural conclusion...or let it go once and for all. If only she 
knew which path would be best for them all. If only she knew where she wanted 
it to go.
	She knew. Without doubt, she knew. But no matter how much she 
wanted him, no matter how miserable she knew she'd be without him, she could 
not shake the fear of what would become of them as time took its toll on her....
	"Hi, Nat," Nick said awkwardly, looking up as Richie delivered the 
final blow to Nick's character.
	"Hi," she responded, then offered, "Can I make you guys some lunch?"
	"I'm starved!" Richie told her, rising from the floor.
	"Sure," Nick replied neutrally. So cool. So hurt. Did she really want to 
do this to him?
	Lunch was uncomfortable at best. Her son did most of the talking, and 
they each interacted with him, safely avoiding each other. But when Richie 
excused himself to go back to his video games, they were left facing each other 
with so much, and yet absolutely nothing, to say.
	"Have you see Niki?" he asked finally, breaking the silence.
	"I knocked on her door--she said she wanted to sleep." She paused, 
then admitted, "I think she'd just mad at me."
	Nick obviously didn't have to ask why. He merely nodded his 
understanding, then said, "She shouldn't be. You can't help the way you feel."
	She looked into his eyes to see the thinly veiled anger. "This has 
nothing to do with how I feel, Nick."
	"What then?" he challenged.
	She couldn't answer.
	After a long moment, he asked, "Have you called Aristotle?" 
	She shook her head. "No."
	"Why not?" he asked, not even trying to mask his bitterness.
	His question took her by surprise, and any hope there might have been 
that they would seriously discuss the issue was lost as his almost accusatory tone 
put her on the defensive.
	"Why, are you in a sudden hurry now to see us leave?" she snapped at 
him.
	She could see his face visibly pale, and she was sorry she'd let her 
nerves speak for her as he faltered, "Nat, I didn't...mean it that way..."
	She sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, it's just--" Her voice trailed off. "I have 
to go," she said, averting his eyes, and left the room.
	She hurried to her bedroom, closed the door, and grabbed her 
pocketbook. This wasn't working. It just wasn't working. The sooner she did call 
Aristotle, the better...
	She found his card, reached for the phone, and began to dial. It rang 
once, but she slammed the receiver down before he could pick up.
	Tears of frustration filled her eyes. She'd never been so confused in 
her life. What was worse, she was hurting everyone around her, Nick and the 
kids, with her indecision. She'd wanted desperately to talk to Nick, to let him 
convince her that she was making a mistake. But she feared now that it was too 
late. The damage had been done, and he was too hurt to even try. Could she 
blame him? He'd been patient, sweet and understanding with her from Day One. 
She, in turn, had pulled the rug out from under him without even having the 
nerve to let him know honestly what was bothering her. How could she? How 
could she admit what would sound like pure vanity? How could she expect him 
to ever admit that there was validity to her concern? Surely he had watched those 
around him grow old and die before. But in his desire to be with her now, would 
he even admit to himself that this could be a problem between them?
	She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She'd just avoid him. 
That was it. She wouldn't face him again until she was ready to either tell him 
the truth...
	...or make a clean break once and for all.
	She might be in this room forever.


	Nick hesitated before Natalie's door, raised his hand to knock, then 
stopped himself. What was the point? Communication between them now was at 
an all-time low. As soon as he'd cursed himself for making matters worse, he'd 
decided that probably the only thing he could do to change her mind was keep 
his mouth shut.
	That didn't fit in with his vow to his daughter, though. He'd promised 
her that he would try, and he knew in his heart that he would fight with his dying 
breath to keep Natalie and the kids from leaving. But he was rapidly losing both 
his patience, and his faith. That was why he found it so hard to obscure his 
bitterness. Natalie had gone on with her life. She'd loved another man. What was 
worse, even with Steven dead, she *still* didn't want to come back to him. He 
knew he could be thick sometimes, but this time he was really beating his head 
against the wall, wasn't he?
	Yet why hadn't she called Aristotle if she really wanted to go?
	That one glimmer of hope had kept him from completely sinking into 
despair. 
	He forced himself to walk away from her door, heading towards 
Nicolette's instead. He needed her love and support right now. Only that would 
get him through this.


	The sun was shining brightly as her father walked towards her. With 
outstretched arms, with that handsome, boyish smile, he welcomed her. She 
really did love him. And things were so difficult now, so confusing; she needed 
to feel him holding her, soothing her in his protective embrace. She smiled at him 
with her eyes as she ran towards him...
	But *he* held her back. The other vampire. It was night time, now, and 
as she struggled to break free, he told her insistently, "No, Niki, don't! He wants 
to kill you. He'll kill anyone who gets in his way!"
	Her father had heard, and his eyes reflected his sadness to see her 
hesitate. She couldn't hurt him like this! She fought against the being who held 
her for her own good.
	"Don't listen to him, Niki. I love you!"
	"Don't listen to him. He's lying!"
	Their voices reverberated in her mind. Suddenly, someone else was 
there. Her heart rose into her throat, and tears filled her eyes as she realized that 
this had to be more than a dream. So much more!
	"Daddy!" she wept, running into his arms. 
	"Everything's going to be okay, Niki," he promised her, smoothing her 
hair. "Just trust Mommy to do what's right..."
	He was so real, an unearthly presence visiting her in the only realm 
possible. She knew this as surely as she knew that the rest was a dream. And she 
wanted to stay in his arms forever, to never let go, lest he slip away into that 
other world beyond her reach.
	"Daddy, don't go!" she begged. She could swear she was speaking out 
loud.
	"I have to, baby doll," he said softly, kissing her on the cheek. His lips 
were so warm,  just as when he'd been....
	...alive. "Don't leave me alone," she pleaded again, clinging to him. 
But even as she grasped at him he began to slip away....
	"Don't listen to him, Niki. He's lying. He wants to hurt you," he 
warned.
	"Who?!" she cried.
	He was gone, and all that remained was emptiness where his spirit had 
warmed hers.
	Then *he* was there once more. Nick. Smiling, reaching for her, 
taking her into his arms, kissing her on the cheek, moving towards her neck...
	"I'm sorry, Niki," he whispered in a voice lower than his own. "I have 
no choice..."
	Searing pain ripped into her as his fangs pierced her flesh. "Daddy, 
help me," she whimpered, though she knew he was beyond her reach by now. 
Even as her life essence began to ebb away, she concentrated every ounce of her 
will on moving her right hand,  reaching into her pocket, pulling back the safety 
as she shoved the gun into her father's chest and fired...
	A shot rang out, and Nicolette gasped with fright as she sat up in bed. 
Only then did she realize that the sound that had brought her from her nightmare 
was not a gunshot at all, but the knocking of the door.
	"Who is it?" she called, only then realizing that she was 
hyperventilating.
	"It's me."
	Nick. "Just...a minute," she called, trying to catch her breath. God, it 
had been so real. And Daddy *had* been there! She knew it! He was warning 
her--but about whom? 
	Nick's face was filled with concern as she invited him in. She made a 
mental note as the bright sunshine from the window hit his face, bathing him in 
its light. He was still mortal. One less thing to worry about at the moment.
	"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her strangely.
	"Yeah," she told him, trying to seem casual. "I was just...having a 
nightmare."
	As soon as she said it she realized how stupid it was to have even 
mentioned it. For his next question was logical.
	"About what?"
	"Lots of things," she said vaguely, then added, "My, um, step-father 
was in it. But it was so real...like he was really here."
	"You miss him," Nick told her sympathetically.  "When we lose 
people we love, sometimes they visit us in our dreams."
	It struck her at once that he must be an expert on the topic of losing 
those he loved. To have lived for eight hundred years...how much pain of loss 
had he suffered? "Do you think...do you think it's just a dream because we miss 
them? Or do you believe their spirits really visit us?"
	She sat on the bed as he seemed to contemplate the answer.
	"I don't really know," he told her, sitting beside her. "But I can tell 
you this...I've seen spirits. I know they exist. And maybe when we're asleep 
that's one of the ways they can come to us."
	Her eyes opened wide. "You've seen ghosts?" Somehow that was even 
harder to believe in than vampires.
	He nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. Then, as he came back to the 
present, he asked, "Did he tell you anything? Anything you remember?"
	She could see this made him uncomfortable. Talking about Daddy 
always seemed to. She'd always assumed it made him jealous, but with the 
vampire's accusations in the back of her mind, she took special note of his 
reaction. Was there more to it?
	"He told me everything would be all right. To trust Mommy to do the 
right thing." She conveniently left out his warning. 
	He sighed deeply, considering her words.  "Well, I hope that's a good 
sign. Maybe that means she'll change her mind." His troubled expression and 
deliberate silence pointedly ignored the other possibility--that Steven was saying 
that leaving *was* the right thing to do.
	She looked at him intently. "Can I ask you something?"
	He smiled at her. "Anything you want."
	Nicolette took a deep breath, trying to find the most innocuous way to 
ask what she knew she must. "Would you do *anything* to get Mommy back? 
To be with her?"
	He shrugged, smiling strangely as if surprised by her question. "Of 
course I would." But then, his smile faded, as almost imperceptibly, his face 
darkened.
	"What?" she asked breathlessly.
	He looked at her, almost surprised that she had noticed, then said, 
"There's only one thing I wouldn't do. I wouldn't bring her across."
	 "Bring her across? You mean make her a vampire?" The thought had 
never occurred to her, although it almost seemed to make perfect sense. How else 
to solve the problem of her mother's aging while he did not? 
	Her father nodded. "That's the one thing I don't think I could ever 
bring myself to do."  
	"Did she ever ask you to?"
	He seemed to hesitate, making her more curious than ever. This was 
definitely not something her mother had related to her when she'd told her of 
their relationship. Finally, he said quietly, "Yes. Once."
	"Go on," she prodded gently.
	"About fifteen years ago, an astrophysicist pulled a hoax, making 
everyone think that an asteroid was going to hit the earth--"
	"Oh, yeah, I learned about that in Social Studies," she said. "That's 
right! It was in Toronto. That's where you used to live."
	He nodded. "We were on the case. Something didn't seem right to me, 
but everyone was convinced the world was going to be destroyed. Your 
mom...was afraid to die. She thought that if I brought her across, she would have 
a chance to live." He paused. There was more to it than that. "She thought it 
would be a way we could finally be together."
	"So why didn't you do it?" she asked. "If she was going to be killed 
anyway--"
	Nick shifted uncomfortably. It was clear this was a delicate topic, 
probably for both of them, since her mother had never even mentioned it. "Part of 
me still had hope that it wouldn't happen.  But even so, I couldn't condemn her 
to be what I was--what I am. I loved her too much to see her become--"
	His voice trailed off. What would he have said? A monster? A killer?
	"I turned her down," he said grimly.  "And it hurt her very badly. She 
didn't understand. She must have thought it meant that I didn't really love her."
	Nicolette could see the memory still haunted him.  "What happened?"
	"She went to the Raven, Janette's club. The vampire community was 
running wild on a killing spree. She met a young vampire named Spark." In his 
hesitation she could see the anger building in his eyes. At last, he continued, 
each word coming out with difficulty.  "She took him to her apartment, and 
offered to let him feed off her if he would bring her across."
	Nicolette's jaw dropped open. "She just picked this guy up? Didn't 
she realize he could kill her?"
	"She was afraid, Niki," he told her in Natalie's defense. "And it was 
my fault. If I had stayed with her, if I had explained to her why I wouldn't do 
it...if she hadn't felt so rejected--"
	"So what happened?" she broke in. Obviously her mother had 
survived, but she couldn't imagine how.
	"Janette warned me, and I got there in time." His eyes were averting 
hers as he looked off at the far-away memory. "He was practically...on top of her. 
About to bite her. I went crazy. We fought, and--"
	Niki turned cold as she realized what he was about to admit to her.
	His gaze locked with hers. "I killed him."
	Her heart was pounding. "But I thought you said you haven't killed in 
a hundred years..."
	She could see the guilt in his eyes as her words and expression 
conveyed her disappointment in him.
	"I haven't. I haven't killed a human...fed off a human...in over a 
hundred years. But there have been times when I've had to destroy another 
vampire..."
	She didn't want to even ask how many. It was clear that this Spark was 
not the only one. She fought the urge to shrink from him as he put his hands on 
her arms, staring deeply into her eyes as if opening his soul for her to see. 
	"Niki, he was going to kill her! I couldn't let him hurt her!"
	She knew he was telling the truth on that count at least.  Yet she could 
see so much more than what he was saying. The anger. The guilt. The jealousy. 
She was silent, and he released her, obviously troubled by her reaction, no matter 
how hard she had tried to control it. She *was* appalled. And she was afraid. 
She hoped that at least she could hide that from him.
	"So I hope that answers your question," he told her in sum. "I love her 
enough to do anything to have her, and to protect her--except bring her across."
	Niki nodded her understanding, though what she had gleaned from the 
story was probably more than he realized. 
	He would do anything for Natalie. Including murder.
	Had Steven been a threat? Had that overwhelming jealousy emerged 
then? 
	Was her life, her blood, the thing that could bring Nick and her mother 
together? And if so, would he be willing to spill it?


	That wasn't what he'd planned, not at all. And Nick left his daughter's 
room in greater despair than ever.
	No matter how he tried to justify destroying that piece of slime, the 
result was the same. He'd come across as the worst part of himself. A beast. A 
killer. And he'd only told her of Spark, the one he'd destroyed to save Natalie. A 
life he wouldn't have had to take, a situation he could have avoided, if he'd 
shown Nat more love and understanding in the first place.
	What did Niki think of him now? What would she think of him if she 
knew of the others? Divia...
	...her uncle Richard.
	He was losing Natalie. He'd lost her love. Now, he feared, he'd lost his 
daughter's respect.
	Things could not possibly get any worse.

	Natalie closed her eyes with exhaustion as she left Richie's room, 
shutting the door behind her. He'd been a handful tonight, full of energy, 
questions and concerns. He knew what was going on--how could he not? And no 
matter how much time he'd spent playing games, and watching videos, she knew 
that  he'd been troubled all day. Tonight, as she'd given him his bath, he'd asked 
if they were really going to have to leave without Nick; why couldn't Nick go 
with them? Why couldn't he be *his* Daddy, too? It had been all Natalie could 
do to keep from breaking down in front of him. She'd reassured him as much as 
she could that things would be all right, but she feared she would break her 
promise to him. She and Nick hadn't spoken since that afternoon. He'd kept to 
himself, wallowing in the despair for which she was to blame. Things had even 
seemed strained between him and Niki, despite their growing closeness. 
Something had happened today, she was sure of it. But neither of them would 
talk about it.
	Niki. Natalie was so worried about her. She had never seen her 
daughter so withdrawn, so out of sorts. She'd risen as the sun had set, and that 
too unnerved Natalie. It reminded her too much of Nick as he had been in his 
vampiric state, sleeping by day, coming to life at night. Even in her uncustomary 
quiet, Niki seemed utterly alert, even vigilant, as if something were about to 
happen. But she refused to speak of it. She'd assured Natalie she wasn't angry, 
had had a light dinner, and gone to sit by herself in front of the TV. There she 
was still, even as the rest of them got ready for bed, as if she would be awake for 
hours yet.
	Everyone was falling apart around her, and Natalie could blame only 
herself.
	Should she stay with Nick because it would make them all happy? If it 
wasn't what she truly wanted, wouldn't it all fall apart eventually anyway? 
Would that be fair to them? No. No more fair than leaving now, destroying their 
lives for her insecurity.
	She needed Nick to reassure her, to convince her that it would all work 
out, that the age problem wouldn't matter. She needed that desperately, and yet 
she'd given him no indication of what the real problem was.
	That wasn't fair either, she knew.
	Maybe it *was* better just to go away. The kids would recover. So 
would Nick, eventually. Wouldn't he?
	In frustration she grabbed her bag, started packing away the few things 
she would want to take with her. It *was* better this way. Save Nick the pain of 
watching her grow old and die. Save herself the humiliation of becoming an 
obligation to him....
	A knock at the door brought her to a sudden halt. Maybe it was Niki, 
coming to confide in her. She needed her daughter's support  right now...
	She opened the door and caught her breath as Nick stood there.  His 
face was so tired, filled with defeat. His eyes were red, as if he'd been crying. 
She fought the urge to throw her arms around him. God, she wanted to.
	"Nat, could we please talk?" he asked weakly.
	She nodded, motioning for him to come in.
	He seemed relieved as he stepped inside, as if he'd been expecting her 
to turn him away. "I've been thinking all day," he began, looking into her eyes. 
"Trying to convince myself that you just don't care anymore. That I should let 
you go. But then I think of what's happened the last two months...the time we've 
spent together..." He took her hand in his, caressing it. "Nat, I just refuse to 
believe that you don't love me anymore.  Somewhere, inside, I know you still 
have feelings for me--"
	Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he saw the bag she'd been 
packing. It seemed to hit him like cold water. He let her hand slip from his as a 
mask of hurt settled over his features. "So, you *have* decided to go," he said 
stiffly. "I'm sorry. I guess...I was wrong."
	"Nick," she said painfully, suffering with him. "Please, try to 
understand. This is really the best thing for all of us." But even as she said it she 
knew how empty it sounded. 
  	"No," he said, turning back to her angrily. "I don't buy that, Nat! 
Don't presume to say what's best for anyone but yourself. This isn't what's best 
for Niki, or for Richie, and certainly not for me! Maybe you can just forget 
everything we've meant to each other, but I can't!"
	"Is that what you think?" she said hotly. "That I've forgotten? That  
walking away is easy?"
	"You're the one who went on with your life," he said bitterly. "How 
long did it take to get over *your* pain, Natalie? Six months? A year?"
	His assumptions infuriated her. She understood his anger, but he had 
no idea what she had been though. "That's not fair, Nick--"
	"I've never gotten over mine!" he shouted at her with more rage than 
she'd ever seen in him.  "I loved you, Nat! I would have died for you! I still can't 
even imagine ever loving another woman!  How long was it before *you* fell in 
love with another  man?!  You were making love to him while I was tortured with 
dreams of you! So can you sit there and tell me you know what's best for me?"
	She'd always known how hurt he would be to know about Steven, but 
as all his pent-up rage of the last two months exploded at her, she  still couldn't 
believe what he was saying.  Did he have any idea how much she loved him? 
Could he even fathom what a struggle it had been to go on without him? "Do you 
think it was easy to go on with my life?" she cried.
	"Much easier for you than for me," he replied in a hurt tone.
	"Oh really?" she asked, her anger flaring. "And do you think it was easy 
to go through the last few months of pregnancy alone--*totally* alone--in a 
strange place?"  He'd opened a can of worms, and she didn't care right now if it 
hurt for him to hear it. It had hurt her enough to live it. She wasn't in the mood 
to spare his feelings right now. Let him know what he had done to her, what he 
had put her through, before he dared to accuse her of forgetting, of not loving 
him enough....
	"I went into pre-term labor--you didn't know that. I almost lost her. And 
there was no one there to reassure me, no one there to help me through those last 
six weeks that I was in bed, thinking at any moment that my baby might die. And 
then thirty hours of labor--alone. No one to coach me, hold my hand, watching 
all those other couples come in and out of the labor room together, while I had 
no one...."
	"Nat, I'm sorry..." he began, his face growing  pale.  But she wouldn't 
spare him.
	"You know, I read your letter, the night she was born. And I cried 
myself to sleep, wishing you were there, wishing you could see her, and hold 
her."
	"Then why didn't you call me, Nat? I begged you to. I waited for you 
to..."
	"And I almost did," she admitted bitterly. "You see, I had this 
fantasy....From the time I left until Nicolette was over a year old...In it, I call you, 
and you're there in minutes. And you're holding the baby, and playing with her, 
and telling me that you've found a cure...and we're going to be a family....but you 
see, Nick, that's where the fantasy becomes more of a nightmare. Because 
LaCroix walks in, and he's followed you, and he takes Nicolette and drains her. 
He kills her. And that's the part that always made me put down the phone. 
Because I couldn't bear to lose her. Not for you, not for anything."
	Nick swallowed hard, the image she had created horrifying him. "I 
know...you did the right thing..."
	"Then why do you begrudge me the only bit of happiness I managed to 
find for myself? Why are you trying to make me feel guilty for trying to give 
myself and our daughter a normal life? I loved Steven! And I'm sorry if that hurts 
you, but I was tired of suffering. Maybe you can spend a decade or two in misery, 
but I don't have the time to spare. My life is more than half over, and if you must 
know, and if it makes you feel better, I *have* spent the last thirteen years of my 
life missing you, and loving you, and wishing things could have been different! 
Yes, Nick, even after I married Steven, you still haunted me--every time I looked 
at Nicolette, every time I closed my eyes. For God's sake, I even dreamed we 
were making love two days before Steven was murdered.  Your memory has 
tormented me, and I've never been over you! Does that make you feel better, to 
hear me admit that, while Steven is lying dead and it's my fault? Is that what you 
needed to hear?!"
	Her face was hot with tears. She didn't know what she was saying 
anymore, and yet she did, and was glad that she was letting it out. He reached out 
to her, but she turned away. "Leave me alone!" she cried, but it became a sob. 
"Leave me alone..."
	He wouldn't. As his memory never had. From behind her, he slipped 
his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "Nat, I'm sorry," he 
whispered in her ear, in a  broken voice. "If only you knew how much I wanted to 
be there for you...how many times I wanted to die because it hurt so much to be 
away from you. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that someday we 
would all be together again...."
	"I know," she admitted softly.
	"I can't help being jealous of the years he spent with you, Nat. I can't 
help feeling that it should have been us together."
	She knew that too, although she couldn't bring herself to say it, for 
Steven's sake.
	"But I understand, Natalie. No matter what I said, I really do. And I'm  
glad there was someone there to love you and Niki, and take care of you when I 
couldn't. I swear to you."
	She knew he meant it. And she appreciated the fact that he was saying 
this now. It felt so good to have him so close, to feel his body against hers, the 
warmth of his breath against her skin.
	"The only thing I don't understand, Nat, is why you want to leave. If 
you still love me..."
	She closed her eyes, trying to stop her silent tears. "I do love you, 
Nick..."
	She could feel his entire body heave a sigh of relief, as he nuzzled 
against her neck. "Then tell me, Nat. Please tell me why you want to go..."
	"I can't," she said in a broken voice.
	Slowly, he turned her around to face him. "Natalie, please..."
	"Oh God, Nick," she wept. "Look at me. It's so obvious. Are you 
really going to make me say it?"
	"Say what, Natalie?" he asked desperately. "Please, we can't resolve 
this if you don't even tell me what the problem is,"
	She knew he was right, but it was so humiliating to have to say it 
aloud. Yet there was no getting around it now. She breathed deeply. "Nick, look 
at me. I'm forty-five years old."
	"And?" he asked, as if waiting for more.
	"And I'm getting older every day," she said impatiently. Why didn't he 
get it? 
	"Natalie, that's life," he said matter-of-factly.
	"For a human. But not for a vampire. Look at you, Nick. You still look 
the same as you did the day we met."
	He shook his head, as if not understanding. "Nat, I was brought across 
when I was thirty-seven. That makes a whole eight years difference. That's 
nothing!"
	"Eight years now. But in five years? In ten?" Why was he being so 
thick? Did she have to spell it out for him? In frustration she grabbed a picture 
from her dresser, the one of them at the Department Picnic in 1992. "Look at me, 
Nick. This was two years after we met. I was a kid! Are you going to tell me that 
you don't see a difference? That it doesn't matter to you?"
	She knew she was flushed with embarrassment. Surely he understood 
now, and it was humiliating to think that he was now comparing her to that photo 
of her youth. Why was he doing this to her? Why was he making it so difficult?
	But all he could seem to do was smile at her with those deep blue eyes. 
"Nat, do you mean to say that this was all that was bothering you?" he said with 
obvious relief.
	"You make it sound like I'm being foolish," she said defensively.
	"No," he assured her. "I understand why you might feel that way, but 
there's no reason to--"
	"Nick, don't try to tell me that you can't see the difference--that you 
can't see what thirteen years has done to me--"
	"Nat, you're still the same woman I fell in love with. You're just as 
beautiful as you were back then--"
	He was trying to make her feel better, but his words were having the 
opposite effect. "You can't tell me that it won't matter to you when I look old 
enough to be your mother!"
	He stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his. "Natalie, we always 
knew this might happen. It didn't seem to bother you back then. Why should it 
make a difference now?"
	"Maybe then it seemed like we had all the time in the world. Maybe I 
thought we would find a cure before it ever became a concern--"
	His face grew somber. "Does that mean you've given up on a cure 
now? Given up on me?"
	She shook her head. "No. Of course not. But what are the chances 
we'll find one before I'm too old?"
	"Natalie, why can't I make you see that it doesn't make a difference to 
me?"
	"Nick, you love beautiful young women--"
	"I love *you*," he said, caressing her hair. "And you *are* the most 
beautiful woman I've ever known. A  few gray hairs and wrinkles won't change 
that."
	"Oh, Nick," she sighed. She wished she could believe him,.
	"Besides," he continued. "Do you think it was your beauty alone that 
made me fall in love with you? Do you think I'm that shallow?"
	"No. But you've been in love before--"
	"Not like this," he broke in. "You know that."
	"--and you've had to move on before. Think about it, Nick. If I had 
never gotten pregnant, if it hadn't been for Niki, do you really believe we still 
would have been together?"
	"Do you doubt it?" he asked in disbelief.
	"I have to. I have to question if you would have moved on once it 
became clear that you weren't going to become human while I was still young--"
	"I can't believe you would even think that," he said in a wounded tone. 
"Natalie, I've waited eight hundred years for you...for our family. What we have 
right now is all I've ever wanted. I was lost without you, without our child. If you 
leave me now, I might as well just walk out into the sun and end it all. There's 
nothing else for me."
	His warm blue eyes, the sincerity of his voice, the tenderness of his 
caresses, were all making it so difficult to think straight. But she had to get it out 
into the open. She had to be sure.  "Nick, I know how you feel about me now. 
But someday, you *will* want to move on--"
	"Never," he said with a certainty she could almost believe.
	"If you did, it would devastate me. And if you stayed, I'd know it was 
just out of obligation. I couldn't stand knowing that I was tying you down like 
that."
	"Natalie, I'll be with you out of love and commitment. Isn't that what 
keeps people together as time goes on? More than the physical attraction?"
	"When they grow old *together*, Nick. I'm the only one getting old," 
she said sadly.
	"Oh, Nat." He shook his head. "So let me understand this--you're 
afraid of what might happen in thirty years...so you'd rather throw away 
everything now?"
	It sounded totally illogical when he said it like that, and yet she 
couldn't help feeling that way.
	"Natalie, you once told me that you would stay with me, good times or 
bad. Do you remember that?"
	She nodded. Of course she did. It was when they'd returned from 
Hawaii after the leitovuterine had failed. He'd wanted to push her away and 
she'd given him the ultimatum--to make their relationship work in spite of his 
condition, or to end it.
	"I didn't want to lose you, Nat. And you were willing to work at being 
together in spite of everything--the fact that I was a vampire, the danger to you..." 
He paused, then added, not without difficulty, "the fact that we might never be 
able to make love again like a normal couple...."
	"I remember," she said softly, knowing where this was headed.
	"You were willing to accept me as I was...all the risk...all the 
problems, and frustration that it would entail...because you loved me. Because  
you'd rather be with me than without me." He hand reached up to brush her 
cheek. "Do you still feel that way about me, Nat? About us?"
	For the first time her lips formed a slight smile. "You know I do," she 
said tenderly.
	He took her face fully in his hands. "Then why do you find it so hard 
to accept that I love you just as much...that time, that something as natural and 
unimportant as age, doesn't  make a difference to me?"
	She looked down, closing her eyes. "Nick, I want to believe that. God, 
how I want to believe it."
	"Then believe it, Nat. Believe in me, in us," he said softly, raising her 
chin to look into her eyes. "The only way time can be our enemy, is if we waste 
any more than we already have." He brought his lips to hers, hoping to convey 
with his kiss what he hadn't with words...
	And as she lost herself in him, she did believe it. Truly and completely, 
for the first time. *This* was right. *This* was where she belonged. Now. Years 
from now. Forever.

	Nick thought he would cry.
	The unspeakable anguish that had devastated his soul was swept away 
in moments as her lips sought his in a passionate kiss. And as she wrapped her 
arms around his neck, running her hands through his hair, he knew that against 
insurmountable odds, Natalie was his again.
	He held her tightly, still afraid she would change her mind. He had to 
let her know how much he loved her; he had to erase all her doubts, insecurities 
and fears. How could she have ever imagined that his love and desire for her 
would ever diminish?
	If anything, he loved her more now than he ever had. And his physical 
need was excruciating. How often had he thought back to that moment on the 
beach when they'd almost made love? And now, holding her so close, as she 
pressed her body deliberately against his, he could literally feel the heat 
emanating from her. So long they had waited. So long...
	His lips found her neck, tasting, nibbling, but with a hunger so utterly 
human it delighted him. The beast was still dormant, and he knew that only 
natural desires coursed through him now. So long since he had felt this way...
	Then, as if reading his thoughts, she whispered, "I don't want to waste 
any more time, Nick... Make love to me, please..."
	He looked up at her, and now there *were* tears of joy in his eyes....

	He smiled at her through his tears, then brought his mouth to hers once 
more. And now, as months, no years, of desire were about to be fulfilled, she 
knew that all the pain and suffering would be washed away forever. God, she had 
wanted him for so long! Could this really be happening? But as his mouth 
explored hers with a hunger equal to her own, she knew that this was no dream, 
no fantasy. She could already feel herself being swept away in the passion of his 
kiss, and she wanted nothing more than to lose herself completely in his love, his 
body, his soul....
	His lips were tracing a desperate path down her neck, as his hands 
found their way to her breasts. Even as he hardened her nipples through the thin 
barrier of her clothes, she could feel the waves of arousal coursing through her 
body. So lost was she in the sensation that she barely realized that he was 
opening her blouse and pushing aside her bra, until she felt the warmth of his 
hands on her flesh. His mouth had soon joined in the exploration, and she could 
hear herself moan in pleasure as his tasted her, tugged at her playfully. She ran 
her hands through his hair, holding his head right there, letting him know just 
how much she loved what he was doing to her.
	His hands had moved down to her back, to her skirt, pushing it 
effortlessly away.  He reached into her panties, kneading the flesh of her bottom, 
then finally pulling down the last encumbrance that would keep him from her. 
Slowly, his lips left her breasts, moving down her stomach, leaving a trail of heat 
in their wake, as his destination became clear.
	His hands had parted her legs slightly, his fingers teasing her as they 
grazed dangerously close to the source of her desire, moving in finally between 
her warm, moist folds of flesh. She smiled to herself as she realized that he 
would have no doubt now how much she desired him. His fingers slid easily in 
and out of her, as his mouth completed its long journey, finding the nub of her 
pleasure. And as his tongue circled her engorged arousal, rubbing, flicking, she 
felt as if she were on fire. She gasped as he worked at her, pushing herself 
against him, holding his head there with her hands as the flames of excitement 
threatened to consume her. How long since she had felt this way? Oh, God....
	She cried out as exploded from within. And still he held her, touching, 
tasting, letting her contract around his fingers as her orgasm flowed from her.
	She thought she would collapse when it was done. He took her into his 
arms, hugging her close to steady her. "Oh, Nick, that was amazing," she 
whispered in his ear. But even as she said it she could feel his arousal straining 
against his shorts to find her warmth. She smiled. She would rest later in his 
arms. Now was the time to make up for all the anguish she had put him 
through....
	He'd already pulled off his shirt, wiping his mouth so that he could 
kiss her again. She did so, running her hands along the firm muscles of his still 
perfect body. Just as he had, she worked her way down, first to his neck, where 
centuries of blood lust had made this one of his erogenous zones. She could feel 
his entire body tense with desire as she brushed her lips against his skin in a trail 
of kisses. She licked at his nipples, relishing the taste of his skin, the softness of 
the hair on his chest against her face. She made her way down to his stomach, 
not so firm as it had been before he'd learned to eat again, but tensing as she 
drew near to where she wanted to be. Through his shorts, she took him into her 
hand. He was bulging out of them, and she hesitated for a moment, relishing the 
excitement at the thought of seeing him again.
	"Nat, please..." he murmured.
	She smiled up at him, then looked down as she gently pulled the shorts 
over him, releasing him.
	He was even more than she remembered, engorged now to his full 
extent with his need for her. And even in the aftermath of her own climax, she 
could feel her desire for him building all over again. Lightly, she licked at the tip 
of him, moistening him slowly, teasing him with a twirling of her tongue.
	"Nat..." he begged.
	"Is this what you want?" she whispered. With that she took him into 
her mouth as deeply as she could, warming him , sucking on him, tasting him, 
loving him...
	"Yes," he moaned. "Oh, yes..."
	As she worked on him, she cupped his scrotum in her hand, holding, 
squeezing ever so slightly, loving the cry of delight it elicited from him. Then, 
her hands found the smoothness of his buttocks, so firm and beautiful, squeezing 
him as she pulled him closer to her.
	She could feel his momentum building as he moved in and out of her 
mouth, and just as she thought he would climax, he gently pulled away from her. 
She looked up at him in surprise until he reached down, pulling her up to face 
him. 
	"I want to be inside you," his said tenderly.
	He would get no complaints from her. She kissed him deeply as he 
lifted her into his arms, gently setting her on the bed, lying on his side to face 
her. He looked down on her, taking in the full length of her naked body. And this 
time, she felt  no self-consciousness as he did so. His eyes held no 
disillusionment, only adoration, as he said softly "How could you have thought 
that I wouldn't want you as much as ever?" 
	She smiled, reaching up to him invitingly as his lips crushed against 
hers again, and his hand caressed her breast, then moved slowly down to prepare 
her for the next stage of their lovemaking. For a few moments her body moved up 
in time to meet the playful thrusts of his fingers, until finally he realized that she 
was more than ready for him. He withdrew his hand, eliciting a gasp of 
disappointment, until she opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her lovingly 
as he lowered himself on top of her.
	Natalie could barely breathe with anticipation as she reached up 
anxiously to guide him into the void that his fingers had left behind. He was so 
full in her hands, so engorged with his passion...
	Slowly he began to slide inside of her, and then suddenly she let out a 
cry as with one swift thrust he filled her completely....
	
	Nick moaned in pleasure as her warmth enveloped him. For a long 
moment they held each other tightly, reveling in the sensation, the fulfillment of 
their union. All his years of longing, of loneliness, seemed to melt away in the 
instant that she took him inside of her. Here he was safe, warm, loved. Here he 
belonged, completing her as she did him. He took a deep breath, controlling his 
passion as he had so often controlled his less natural urges. He wanted this to 
last. He wanted this to last forever....

	The emptiness of the last thirteen years,  the void in her soul that had 
never been filled, seemed to vanish in the instant that they became one. How 
could she have ever doubted that this was their destiny, that being together was 
the only thing that would ever fulfill them both? She wanted this to last forever. 
And yet her body ached for the physical fulfillment with him that had haunted 
her dreams. She was burning inside, on fire. The only thing that could soothe the 
need was to have more of him, all of him...
	Holding him close, she propelled herself against him, spreading her 
legs to take him more deeply into her.  She couldn't get enough of him, and he of 
her. With an urgency equal to her own, he slid his hands under her bottom, 
lifting her up to meet each thrust, pushing himself further into her, deeper into 
the core of her very being...She was burning up...further, further...
	The world seemed to explode around them. Natalie was sure her heart 
stopped beating as she reached the greatest pinnacle of ecstasy she had ever 
known. Far away, she heard herself cry out his name as she clung to him, shock 
waves wracking her entire body. And as she contracted violently around him, she 
could feel him erupting inside of her....
	When the room had stopped spinning, they were still holding each 
other. He began to lift himself off of her, apparently afraid he was crushing her 
with his weight, but she whispered," No....stay inside me. Please..."
	He smiled at her with the greatest expression of peace and fulfillment 
she had ever seen, brushing his lips against hers gently before rolling them over 
so that she could be on top of him, careful not to break their union.
	"I love you," she said, looking down on him.
	"I love you too, Nat. So much," he said softly, then kissed her again, 
running his hands through her hair.
	For the first time in years, they both enjoyed a peaceful sleep.


	Downstairs, totally unaware that her parents were together again, 
Nicolette remained vigilant, the gun in her hand. And the sense of vampires 
drawing near was stronger than ever....

	They'd awoken during the night and made love again. Then, Nick had 
fallen into a blissful sleep where in his dreams he danced inside her over and 
over again. He awoke in darkness, and reached for her, wanting her once more...
	She was gone. In a split second of panic he feared that it had all been a 
dream, and that she had left him forever. But as he looked bleary-eyed about him, 
he knew that he was in her room, in her bed. And relief washed over him as the 
door creaked open and she came towards him.
	"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," she said, sliding in beside 
him. 	"I just got a little nervous when I woke up and you were gone," he said 
sheepishly, pulling her into his arms.
	"I just went to the bathroom, silly," she teased him, looking into his 
eyes, then in a serious tone said, "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. At least 
not without you."
	He kissed her deeply, then held her body against his for a long time, 
relishing her warmth.  "I just never want to wake up without you again, Nat," he 
said softly. 
	They kissed again, and then she lay back on the pillows. To his dismay 
she'd put on a bath robe, but he noticed looking at it now that it was actually 
quite sexy. The long black silk molded against her body, and he could still 
imagine every line as it had been last night. He ran his finger lightly down her 
neck, bringing his hand to rest on her breast, feeling her nipple harden at his 
touch, even through the thin fabric. "What would you say if I said I wanted you 
again?" he asked, smiling down at her.
	"I'd say you have a lot more energy than I do," she replied, lacing her 
fingers around his neck. 
	"Not really," he admitted. "You've worn me out." He kissed the tip of 
her nose. "I just can't get enough for you. I guess I want to make up for lost 
time."		
	As her smile faded her realized that that had been a stupid thing to say. 
Could they ever make up for the years they had been separated? He didn't want 
to remind her again or her mortality, of how precious every day, every year was. 
But she must have sensed his concern, because she reached up to kiss him. 
"From now on," she promised him, "we're going to live every minute to the 
fullest. And that means not wasting time on regrets."
	He nodded, gazing into her eyes, still incredulous. How lucky could he 
be....?


	Nicolette yawned tiredly as she glanced at her watch. Only about forty-
five minutes to sunrise. Then she could rest....
	But could she ever  rest? Would she ever be able to relent in her vigil 
to protect herself, her family, from those who would seek to destroy her? The 
long night had convinced her that she would never feel safe. Each moment the 
sensation of vampires looming near grew stronger. It wasn't Janette; her presence 
would not engender such fear. Was it the mysterious vampire from last night? 
Perhaps. She wasn't about to go outside and look. But no, there was someone 
else, someone she'd not yet met, pursuing her, drawing near...
	Her panic had escalated so, that she'd found herself constantly looking 
behind herself. The feeling was so strong, as if someone were in this very house. 
Was it her father? Had the medicine given out once and for all, robbing him of 
the last bits of humanity that had softened the impact of his essence upon her?
	Dawn would quell her fear of the others, but her apprehension around 
*him* would not be suppressed so easily. He was here, with them, with *her*, 
twenty-four hours a day. If he wanted to, he could come to her as she slept by 
day, drain her of blood and thus attain the mortality that he wanted so badly....
	*That's stupid*, she told herself. *What's he gonna do, kill me right in 
front of Mom?*
	No, a small, frightened voice told her. But he could take her off 
somewhere, kill her, and  then pretend that he had found her that way, a victim of 
those other vampires from whom they were so desperately hiding. Mommy would 
believe it, too. She'd have to. She'd never believe that he could do such a thing.
	Could he?
	Would he?
	Her conversation with the vampire haunted her, but her discussion with 
her father had only fueled the flame of her doubts. He *had* murdered.  At least 
once to protect Mommy.
	Would he do it just to have her for himself? In a sick way it made 
sense. Kill the husband to create fear, then waltz in like the great protector. It 
was devious. It was evil.
	But so had he been, by his own admission.
	Yet the part of her that had grown to love him could not accept that he 
was capable of such an act. That he would assassinate Mommy's husband, cause 
her such pain, just to have her. That he would kill *her*, his own daughter...
	He wanted Mommy desperately. That part had rung true. He was 
devastated that she wanted to leave without him. Yet on the other hand, he had 
done nothing to seduce her mother into a relationship she wasn't ready for. 
Everything had seemed fairly platonic. He had been kind, gentle, patient, and 
loving with all of them. No, he couldn't have done it...
	Nicolette jumped with the sound of the toilet flushing, and the rustling 
of footsteps upstairs. Maybe Mommy was up now. Maybe she could do what she 
should have done all along. Confide in her mother; tell her of the vampire, of his 
accusations. Mommy would reassure her. She would make her feel safe. She 
always did...

	She loved the way he gazed at her, as if she were everything to him.
	"I never stopped hoping, Nat," he said, kissing her hand. "Especially 
when I saw that you were still wearing this."
	His ring that she had never been able to take off. The one symbol of 
her inability to stop loving him. The ring he had meant for an engagement that 
had never taken place.
	"You know what we have to do now," he told her tenderly. "Get a 
wedding band to match this--"
	He stopped mid-sentence as he glanced down at her other hand. Her 
diamond ring and wedding band from Steven still remained as a reminder of the 
last ten years of her life. She saw the color drain from his face as he realized that 
she might not be ready for what he was saying.
	"Nick, I--"
	"No, Nat, it's okay," he said quickly. He looked deeply into her eyes, 
with a calm meant to reassure her.  "I do want to marry you. It's all I ever 
dreamed of. But I understand if you want to wait a proper amount of time." He 
stroked her hair. "Really. I'm okay with that. As long as I know that you love 
me...I can wait."
	"Nick, I really appreciate that...but it's okay. I loved Steven, and I miss 
him. A part of me always will. We had a good life together, and a beautiful son. 
Maybe if the situation were different, I would want to wait. After losing you, and 
then him...I probably wouldn't want to get involved with anyone at all. But you 
and I have waited too long to be together. I think Steven would understand that. 
He'd want me and the kids to be happy." She brushed her hand against his cheek. 
He closed his eyes, enjoying her touch, then covering her hand with his own as 
she said, "The one thing that will make us all happy is to be a family, as soon as 
possible. If I weren't ready for that...last night wouldn't have happened."
	He smiled at her blissfully. "Does that mean you accept my proposal?"
	She looked at him strangely. "Did you ever actually propose?" she 
teased.
	"I am now," he said softly. "Natalie, this is long overdue, but...will you 
marry me?"
	"Yes, " she whispered, as he covered her face in kisses.
	A knock at the door broke their idyllic mood.
	"Mommy, it's me...are you awake?" Nicolette called.
	Nick looked at her in panic, whispering, "Nat, what are we--?"
	She cupped one hand over his mouth motioning to her ear with the 
other. With Nicolette's newly sensitive hearing, she was surprised she hadn't 
already heard him in here. She knew her daughter had wanted them to be 
together, but this wasn't the way for her to find out! Especially given the fact that 
it was less than three months since her step-father's death....
	"Just a minute, sweetie," she called, jumping from the bed. She slipped 
on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, motioning for Nick to stay where he was. Poor 
Nick! He looked embarrassed as hell. It was a good thing Niki hadn't just walked 
in...
	She opened the door a crack, stepping outside, hoping that her face 
didn't have guilt written all over it. She wasn't good at hiding things, especially 
from Niki. But her daughter's appearance made all other concerns fly out the 
window.
	She looked awful--pale, haggard, her blue eyes haunted by something 
unseen. "Niki, are you all right? Have you been up all night?" she asked with 
sudden worry.
	"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Mom, we have to talk. It's really important. 
Can I come in?"
	She stepped towards the door as if the question had been rhetorical. 
Natalie thought quickly, then placed her hand on Niki's arm, as she said, "Let's 
go downstairs, so we don't wake anyone else up."
	She thought she'd sounded completely nonchalant, but Nicolette knew 
at once that something was afoot. She looked at her mother questioningly, then 
her head snapped towards the door as if she were reaching out with her senses to 
confirm her suspicions. Her mouth dropped open with her realization and she 
turned to Natalie, accusation in her voice as she said, "He's in there, isn't he?"
	Natalie was glad her daughter couldn't see her face flush in the dark. 
Well, honesty was the best policy, wasn't it? "Yes, Niki, he is."
	Niki was aghast. "You slept with him, didn't you? Oh, Mom, why?" 
She looked and sounded as if she would cry.
	Natalie put both her hands on her daughter's shoulders, looking into 
her eyes. This should be a happy time, and though she'd expected some 
awkwardness, she didn't understand why Niki was so horrified. "Niki, listen to 
me. Your father and I have worked out everything--all our problems. We love 
each other, and want to be together. All of us. A family. Isn't that what you 
wanted?"
	But her enthusiasm was lost completely on Nicolette, who shook her 
head vigorously. "No, you don't understand!" she cried.
	At that moment the door opened, and Nick stepped out, fully dressed. 
Niki's outbursts had been far from quiet, and he apparently felt that he should 
help to explain to their daughter what was going on. But Natalie knew at once 
that his presence would only serve to exacerbate the situation. Nicolette backed  
away as soon as she saw him, and Natalie realized there was something far worse 
going on than a resentment of her being with Nick so soon after Steven's death.
	Nicolette was scared of him. 
	"Niki, please don't be upset," he was telling her gently, but she 
seemed afraid to even look at him now.
	"Mommy, you don't understand," she insisted again.
	"What don't I understand, Niki?" Natalie asked, trying to step closer 
to her.
	"He's a murderer," she said angrily.
	Natalie glanced at Nick, whose face was stricken with anguish at his 
daughter's words. He was, for the moment, speechless, but Natalie would not 
stand by and let her hurt him like this. "Niki, you know that's not true--"
	"He killed Daddy!" she blurted.
	Natalie gaped at her daughter in shock. She couldn't believe her ears. 
The very thought was obscene. What had possessed her? "Niki, how the hell 
could you even think such a horrible thing?" she managed. 
	"He did!" she said, with a certainty that was frightening.  "He killed 
him to be with you! He just let you think it was another vampire so that you'd be 
so scared that you'd go off with him!"
	"This is insane, Niki," her mother said, flabbergasted. 
	She looked to Nick, who was recovering from his initial shock. "Niki, 
I don't know how you could think me capable of that," he said finally, his voice 
reflecting his pain. "After all the time we've spent getting to know each 
other...do you really believe I would do something so evil?"
	She seemed to hesitate a moment, but responded, "You told me you'd 
do anything to be with Mommy, didn't you? Anything but bring her across--"
	Natalie shot a glance at him, wondering where *that* had come from.
	"Not murder, Niki," Nick replied.
	"You murdered that vampire, Spark," she retorted.
	And suddenly Natalie knew precisely where that conversation had 
come from. Why on Earth had Nick told her about *that*? She wasn't 
particularly proud of her actions...
	"I killed him to save her life," Nick reminded her, moving towards her. 
	Niki backed away.
	"Niki, I didn't kill Steven," Nick told her again firmly.
	"Yes, you did!" she said in a panic. "And now that the medicine is 
wearing off you're going to drain me so that you can become human!"
	Nick and Natalie were both dumbfounded. "Niki, where are you 
getting these ideas?" Natalie cried.
	"It's part of the legend, Mommy," Niki told her. "If a vampire fathers a 
dhampir, he can become human by drinking her blood.
	Natalie looked at Nick desperately. Their daughter's accusations were 
destroying him, as every bit of progress he had made in getting to know her 
seemed to have been swept away in her inexplicable fear. 
	"It's true, isn't it?" Niki dared him to answer. "Isn't that part of the 
legend?"
	Natalie held her breath waiting for him to answer, praying he had never 
heard that particular part of the dhampir legend. It wasn't that she doubted him 
for a moment--but he would have to convince Nicolette just how ludicrous the 
idea really was.
	"Niki, I don't know if it is or not," he said calmly, trying to control his 
emotions. "Everything I know about being a vampire I learned from LaCroix. He 
wouldn't have told me about anything that I could possibly use to become human 
again." 
	Natalie could see his control failing rapidly as tears filled his eyes. Her 
heart was breaking for him as he said, "Niki, do you really believe I could ever 
hurt you?"
	She seemed to hesitate, as if moved by his words. But whatever fear 
had taken hold of her would not relinquish its grip. "All you want is to be 
human, so you can be with my mother."
	He shook his head. "Not at that price," he said passionately.
	"Niki, what's wrong?" Natalie implored her. "Where are you getting 
these awful ideas?"
	Nick had been studying his daughter's face, trying to make sense out 
of her sudden fear of him. And as the realization struck him, Natalie saw his eyes 
fill with anger. "Someone's been telling her these things, Nat," he said, trying to 
maintain his calm. "What I want to know, Niki, is who."
	He stepped towards her, but Nicolette shrank from him. And at once, 
Natalie knew that the impossible was true. Someone had intruded on their safe 
haven, and had poisoned their daughter with these accusations. The mere thought 
that another vampire had gotten close enough to speak to her made Natalie grow 
cold with terror.
	Nick kept his distance, not wanting to frighten her any more, but 
repeated sternly, "Who was it, Niki? Was someone here?"
	Nicolette looked as if she would die from fright, but suddenly her eyes 
took on an amber glow as she cried, "They're all around here! Can't you feel it? 
They're coming closer, and they want to kill me! And so do you! He told me so!"
	"Who?" Nick demanded.
	"He said he was your friend! He saw you do it! He saw you kill Daddy, 
and he warned me that you're going to kill me, too!"
	"It's not true!" he shouted in desperation, trying to grasp at her arms. 
But the contact meant to reassure had quite the opposite effect.
	"Get away from me!" she sobbed, and ran from them.
	She fled down the stairs, her parents chasing after her frantically, 
shouting her name in vain. Before they could stop her she'd run outside, and 
Natalie's heart leapt into her throat at the thought of what dangers could possibly 
lie in wait.
	But as they reached the door, danger stepped in to meet them.
	Natalie gasped to see LaCroix standing before them, a sickening 
expression of amusement on his face.


	"Domestic problems, Nicholas?"
	Before Natalie could stop him, Nick lunged at LaCroix, quite 
forgetting, in his anger, that he was no match for his master. The older vampire 
barely blinked as Nick grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, shouting, "What 
lies have you been feeding my daughter to turn her against me?!"
	LaCroix glared at him coldly as he grasped Nick's wrists to loosen his 
grip. He threw him off easily as he replied, "I assure you, Nicholas, I've never 
even met the girl." 
	"You lying bastard!" 
	This time, Natalie put her hand on his arm to restrain him.
 	"You followed us from Athens, didn't you?! You're the one she 
sensed--"
	At this LaCroix raised his eyebrows. "On the contrary, Nicholas, I 
sensed *you*. How else would I have found you?"
	"That's impossible--" Nick began, but stopped as the same realization 
hit all three of them.
	LaCroix's eyes belied a smile of satisfaction as he surmised, "Your 
mortality drug is wearing off again, isn't it?"
	Natalie could see Nick pale visibly with the guilt of having led 
LaCroix straight to them. Her hand slipped down to his, squeezing it to let him 
know that it was all right. It had to happen sooner or later.
	LaCroix's eyes met hers. "I must congratulate you, Doctor. Not only 
did you accomplish the near impossible with Nicholas, but you managed to keep 
your secret hidden from me for thirteen years. I must tell you that I never believed 
Nicholas when he said that you'd decided to move on. I always thought you were 
much too devoted to give up on him."
	There were a hundred responses on the tip of her tongue. But with 
Nick in his present state, they were powerless against him. The only thought that 
kept her from being utterly terrified of LaCroix was knowing that if he'd wanted 
to kill them all, he would have done so already.
	Having paid her all the respect he intended to, LaCroix had turned 
back to Nick. "*You*, on the other hand, disappoint me. This *is* something I 
should have known about."
	"Why? So you could destroy her?" Nick nearly spat at him.
	LaCroix shook his head in disgust. "Your pathetic search for mortality 
is one thing, but *this* is insanity. You must have known what the Enforcers 
would do if they ever found out about her. And they *will* find out. You know 
that."
	Nick had no response, and Natalie could see that LaCroix's words 
were affecting him.
	There was almost compassion in LaCroix's eyes as he said, 
"Destroying her yourself would have been far more merciful than what they 
might do to her."
	The fury seething in Nick erupted once more as he cried, "I won't let 
you touch her! You've already done enough damage--"
	"I have no idea what you're talking about," LaCroix insisted.
	And only then did Natalie find the nerve to ask what had been on her 
mind since LaCroix had first darkened their doorstep. "Are you the one who 
killed my husband?" she demanded, trying to keep her voice steady.
	LaCroix's blue eyes seemed almost to belie sympathy as he replied, 
"No."
	"And yet you dare to try to convince Nicolette that *I* did it!" Nick 
accused. "Will you stop at nothing to destroy my happiness?!"
	At this LaCroix seemed nothing short of confused. "Nicholas, I 
already told you, I haven't even met her--"
	Nick groaned in exasperation, clearly convinced that LaCroix was 
lying.
	But all at once, Natalie wasn't so sure. And if he were telling the 
truth....
	Suddenly the door flew open, and Janette stood before them, deep 
lines of worry on her face.
	"Janette, what are you doing here--?" Natalie began.
	"Niki called me last night, pleading me to come. There was someone 
here, telling her that Nick was going to try to kill her--" She looked at LaCroix, 
surprised less by his presence than by his apparent actions. "It was *you* she 
was talking to last night--?"
	Her voice trailed off as their attention was drawn to the small footsteps 
on the