Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 12:29:49 PST From: Lori Dehn Subject: Joie de Vivre (01/01) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Hi all. This is another in my series of short POVs for each character. Thanks to those who have enjoyed A Richness in Her Smile, A Sweetness in His Pain, and In Perspective, all of which are archived at LeeAnn Pultz site. Permission for LeeAnn to archive this there as well, and as always, permission for Mel Moser to keep at www.fkfanfic.com. Anyone else, please ask. This time it's Janette's turn, people. Let me know what you think. The addy is ldehn@hotmail.com. Spoilers....hmmmm. Unlike the others in the series, this vignette is set second season, or at the very least, before Nick knows she's gone in the third. I definitely wanted Janette before Human Factor. Joie de Vivre by Lori Dehn "I have always loved the night. There is a comfort to darkness, a closeness that daylight does not have. I have always felt safe there, as safe as I could feel. "Later, I came to appreciate the beauty of the night. In the glaring brightness of daylight, one cannot appreciate the shine of anything else. But at night, the brilliance of beauty eclipses the velvet grasp of the dark. I have never seen a sunrise the equal of a full moon, or a sunset that rivaled the jeweled perfection of the constellations. Nightblooming flowers are rare and wonderful, and smell so much sweeter than their common day-blooming cousins. "No, I never for one moment regretted leaving the daylight behind me. I entered LaCroix's arms with uncertainty, but not fear, and not remorse. I did not know what I was embracing, but I did know what I was turning from, and I did so with open eyes. "For 200 years, I walked by LaCroix's side, his daughter, his lover, his companion. And while I did enjoy the position he had placed me in, the dais of power to which he had risen me, I always knew I was as much his possession as I was of the brothel keeper who was my first kill. I was his, body and soul, if we have souls, and yet, there was nothing of him given in return. It was not until I saw you, mon Nicolas, that I felt my cold blood race in my veins. It was only then that I learned the difference between hunger and desire. "We were so happy for so long. I know there was tension between you and LaCroix, but between us, there was passion, a warmth in our chill world that was delicious. And so I know how much it hurt you when I left so long ago in Italy. You did not expect it, for you did not see how you changed. "We should never have brought you across, Nicolas. You were not meant for our life. The more lives you saw slip away, the more precious each life became to you. And the more precious they were, the more it pained you to take them. I did not leave because I did not understand your pain, mon amour. I left because I could not bear to witness your pain, knowing that I was the cause, the lure that brought you to the darkness I love, the darkness you loathe. "I have never been able to keep from you for very long, no matter the sadness of causing you pain. But from time to time, it is necessary for me to distance myself from it. And now is one of those times. "I love you, mon chere, as much as I can, as much as I love the night I have given my life. But I must leave you once more to remind myself of the joy that I find in this life. "I do not know when I will see you again, mon Nicolas, but know that I carry you in my heart, still and cold as it may be. "Forever, "Janette." Silken gloved fingers caressed the pages, and she brought the paper to her lips, leaving a blood red print by her signature. She considered them for a moment, and nodding almost imperceptibly, she carefully folded the letter, slipping it into the heavy vellum envelope. Burning a wine colored stick of sealing wax in the thick, vanilla scented candle on the desk, she puddled the wax, stamping it with her golden raven seal. "Are you ready, my dear?" Looking up, she saw her master standing in the doorway. "Yes, LaCroix." Rising, she walked to him, pressing the envelope into his hand. "Will you give this to Nicolas, please? I do not want to hurt him, but there are so many things to be said." "Of course, my child." LaCroix slipped the envelope into his pocket. "I will see you again, Janette. You will always be part of our family." "I know...mon pere. I know." She touched cold lips to his, then walked out of her club for the last time. LaCroix sighed, and shaking his head, crossed to her desk. Removing the envelope from his pocket, he looked at it for a moment before holding it in the candle's flame. The rich paper resisted for a moment before catching in a red-gold burst of fire. "I am sorry, Janette. But I will explain to Nicholas. In my own way. In my own time." The end Lori Dehn Dark Knightie 'n Nat Packer with definite Ravenette and Vaquera tendencies and just a smackerel of Cousin for "flavor" Proud Member of the Forever Knight Writers List ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com