This post-Last Knight story was originally written for the
"Shades of Eternity" charity 'zine created by Sue Clark and Barb
Goddeau. Although the setting may seem familiar, this isn't
necessarily a prequel or sequel to any other piece I've written.
There are many references assuming knowledge of the series.The
Forever Knight characters are the property of TPTB, Sony, James
Parriott, etc. No copyright infringement is intended. The story
is copyright to me.

"Journeys End...." 
By Mary Combs 
November 1998

Natalie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her
chin on her hands, and gazed into the lake. She paddled her feet
in the cool water, watched as the ripples spread wider and
wider, then waited until the surface resumed its glassy calm. In
the depths below, bright-colored fish moved about on their own
business. Occasionally, one would swim closer to investigate her
toes with tentative fishy kisses, and then return to its
fellows, fins flashing in the sunlight.

A bird's call sounded high above her, clear as a hawk's cry, but
sweeter. She glanced up at the summer-blue sky and then over her
shoulder at the road that wound along the edge of the lake. Half
a mile ahead, it veered off into the woods.

"So," she asked the fish. "What next?"

The question was purely rhetorical.

Actually, she would not have been terribly surprised if the fish
had spoken to her. She wouldn't have been shocked if they had
all come up to the surface and started singing. Not in this
place.

But she didn't expect an answer to that particular question. She
had learned many things on this journey, from many different
creatures — including the fact that the future was as much a
mystery to the dead as to the living.

The dead.

She was dead.

Scientifically speaking, there were alternatives, of course. She
might be dreaming, or in a coma — or insane. She had toyed with
those possibilities in the very beginning, but there was
something about this place that did not tolerate denial. There
was no room here for anything but the truth.

She had tried the experiment once, long ago — lying about
something utterly trivial. It was impossible, even to the empty
air. The words "I hate chocolate" had stuck in her throat....

And now — well, now she had been on the road far too long to
doubt its reality.

"How long?" she asked the fish, still expecting no answer.
Months, certainly. Years, probably. But how many years? There
was no way to tell. The seasons changed around her as she moved
through the countryside. As in Peter Pan's island in Neverland,
summer was a matter of place, not time.

She had tried to keep track of the passing days — collecting
pebbles, notching a stick — but the makeshift calendars
disappeared overnight. She had even tried plaiting her hair to
mark a day's passing. In the morning, when she ran her fingers
through flawless locks, she had taken the hint and let it go.

Her hair was the only thing about her that showed any sign of
passing time. It reached her waist, now, and would have been a
considerable inconvenience for Dr. Lambert of the Toronto
Medical Examiner's office. For Natalie, however, it was a secret
childhood wish come true. How many times had she sat obediently
while Nana disciplined her recalcitrant curls into braids,
dreaming of the day when she would be grown up and able to do as
she pleased....

She chuckled softly at the memory, lifted her head from her
hands and focused on her reflection. The face in the clear water
was essentially the same as the one that used to look back at
her from the bathroom mirror. The signs of fatigue and worry
were gone; there was color in her cheeks that had not been there
before. She looked... well if not exactly younger, certainly
more rested. And there was some other, deeper change......
something in the large blue eyes that stared back at her so
solemnly......

She burst into peals of laughter.

A half-dozen fish rushed up to see what was happening,
clustering about her feet. "Sorry guys," she said. "I was
getting just a little too self-absorbed there."

"Well," she observed to the rippling fragments of her
reflection, "Gotta go. See ya." She pulled her legs out of the
water, patted them dry with the hem of her long linen dress and
scrambled to her feet. She had no shoes or stockings -- there
was no need -- and she paused to luxuriate in the feeling of the
earth beneath her feet and the warm grass between her toes. It
never ceased to delight her -- probably because Nana had been so
very strict on the subject of going barefoot.

"Nana," she whispered. "Is this the beautiful dream you were
dreaming? Will I find you somewhere along this road? Or at the
end of it? I hope so." Memories of her grandmother and their
last, supernatural, meeting led her thoughts to.... Nick.

In a flash of memory, she was back in his arms, feeling the
ecstasy of her life and love pouring into him, the absolute
knowledge of his love for her..... and the overwhelming power of
the vampire as it came, ravening, out of the depths of his soul.

She had thought she understood. She had thought she was
prepared. "Idiot," she said to herself, not for the first time.
Nothing could have prepared her for such evil.

No wonder he had refused to bring her across. She had asked the
wrong question in the hospital that night -- or at least asked
it the wrong way. How could he possibly consider bringing Tracy
into that darkness? 

Well, she knew the answer to that. She had met the beast, its
dark insatiable hunger, and it had taken her life. 

But not her soul. It had wanted her, been eager to tempt her
with "forever" in an eternity of darkness. But Nick had spared
her even the temptation. "I can't condemn her..." Lying there,
on the brink, she had felt the tender pressure of his lips
against her cheek in a final kiss. And as her consciousness
faded, the last thing she had heard had been his voice, breaking
with grief, "She had faith....."

There had been no doorway, no guide, no choice to make between
death and undeath. The light had embraced her gently, silently,
and she had awakened in the green fields of Heaven -- or
wherever this was -- alone.

Natalie pulled herself back to the present and started off
toward the woods, pausing briefly to see if anyone was coming
behind her. The road was empty, save for a group of sparrows
having a dust bath. She was accustomed to spending long
stretches of time by herself, but she usually met a fellow
traveler every few days, and it had been a long while since she
had seen another person.

"'There is plenty of room for meeting in the universe.....'" she
whispered to herself, trying in vain to remember where she had
read that. It was truer than she had ever imagined, and she
marveled at the way perfect strangers and old friends -- yes,
and some old enemies, too -- had appeared along the way to touch
her heart or teach her an important lesson.

She dismissed with a laugh the idea that she had helped others
in the same way, but she could not absolutely deny it, because
it was true. 

Richie had been the first to find her.

************************* (flashback) 
She sat cross-legged in
the grass, waiting in the place where she had awakened, fighting
a deep yearning to follow the faint track at her feet. Like the
Yellow Brick Road in "The Wizard of Oz," it steadily widened to
a clear trail that stretched straight ahead over rolling green
hills, toward a range of mountains in the distance.

The mountains -- or rather, Something in or beyond them --
called to her, gently, inexorably, and it took every ounce of
her strength to keep from jumping to her feet and running down
the narrow path.

Closing her eyes helped a little, but not much.

"Hello, Sis."

"Richie? Richie!" She flew into his arms, holding him close. "Oh
Richie, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please forgive me."

"Shhhhh." he whispered comfortingly. "It's all right, Natty,
it's all right."

"But I was wrong, so terribly wrong. It was all my fault."

"Not all of it." He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed
her gently away so she could see his face. "It was Nick's
choice, too....."

"But I forced him to ...."

"....and mine. I didn't know exactly what I was accepting Sis,
but I knew it meant turning my back on the light. That should
have been enough." He smiled reassuringly and hugged her close.
"Of course I forgive you, Natty. I forgave you both long, long
ago -- the moment Nick set me free. Just as I've been forgiven."

"Long ago? It's only been a year....."

"Time's different here."

"Oh Richie...." She gasped slightly as she felt a tugging
sensation at her heart. Her hands gripped his shoulders. For a
moment, she felt that if she let go, she would go flying down
the path like a doll on a string.

"Why won't you go, Nat?" he said, gently, resting his hands
lightly on hers, but not trying to release their grasp.

"I have to wait. I have to wait for him," she whispered through
gritted teeth.

Her brother shook his head, and her heart sank. "It's not like
that. Every soul has its own road to travel."

"And that's mine?"

He nodded.

'What about Nick? He said he couldn't bring me across. I heard
something about 'faith,' and that's all I remember......" She
looked at him pleadingly.

"I can tell you that he is dead. He chose to face judgment. He
asked LaCroix to destroy the vampire.... but I don't know any
more, Natty."

"My fault," she whispered, bowing her head as tears filled her
eyes. "My fault." She looked up at her brother, eyes wide, and
started to speak, but he anticipated the question, put a finger
lightly over her lips and shook his head.

"There is no Hell, not the way you're thinking of it, Sis. In
the end, we all have only two choices. We say 'yes' to light and
love, or we say 'yes' to darkness and everlasting hunger. A soul
that delights in the destruction of others makes a hell for
itself in the midst of Paradise."

"Delight in destruction.... Yes, that's the vampire.... but it's
not Nick. Not the best part of him." She spoke defiantly,
desperately. "There must be something I can do..... Tell me what
I can *do.*"

In a gesture that reminded her of their mother, he brushed a
lock of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I'm
here for *you.* To help you get started on your way."

"But what about Nick?"

"You know the answer to that. He told you, that night in the
loft before he brought me across."

"'Leave it in God's hands.'"

"Good answer." He turned her gently toward the path. "The rest
of your answers are there. Love and Faith are calling you, Nat."

She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry for being
so stubborn, Richie. My little brother, to the rescue. Thank
you. She turned and hugged him fiercely, then stepped away. "I
have a million of them -- questions, you know."

"You always did." He kissed her on the forehead. "See ya' Sis --
see ya' at the end of the road."

Natalie walked determinedly down the path. She didn't look back.

***************************** (end flashback)

She was high in the mountains now, climbing slopes that would
have left her breathless on earth. She paused and turned to look
down -- tracing her journey backwards, past lesser peaks,
through valleys, foothills and rolling meadows to the distant
plain glittering in the sun. A row of fruit trees marked the
edge of the forest, and she paused to pull a red-and-yellow
apple from a nearby branch.

There was a faint rustling noise and a flash of white in the
tall grass; she had the distinct feeling of being watched.
"Here," she held out the apple in the direction of the noise.
"Want a taste?" A blue eye peered through the greenery, and then
her observer shyly stepped forward.

It was a unicorn, a very young one, no more than 2 feet tall.
Natalie looked around for the parents and saw them further off
-- delicate creatures about the size of Great Danes. The baby
sidled up to her and tried in vain to nibble the apple. Nat bit
off a small piece and offered it in her open hand. After a
moment's consideration, the unicorn took it, softly nuzzling her
palm.

They shared the fruit in silence, until a whinny from one of the
parents summoned the colt, which went bounding away through
grass, tiny horn flashing like a diamond. Natalie finished the
apple, then followed the steep path up into the cool depths of
the forest.

If the road had been quiet, the woods were not. A convention of
unseen birds filled the green shadows with music. The path led
her toward a brighter spot -- a clearing certainly, but some
other source of light danced there. A brook, perhaps.... As she
approached, she heard the sound of laughter. It was a man's
voice, deep and rich and .... she cast about for the right
word..... *'Merry',* Nat thought. *Yes, that's it, 'merry.' *

She stepped into the clearing and found the source of the light
and the laughter.

It was an angel.

He was dressed in silver chain mail and a white tunic with a
gold cross embroidered over the left breast. The sun glinted on
his hair and his great golden wings, and Natalie thought that
she had never seen anything so glorious.

He looked very like the drawing of Michael the Archangel in her
mother's Bible -- only instead of brandishing a flaming sword
and staring down a horde of demons, he was lounging on a fallen
tree deeply engaged in conversation with.... a cat.

A large, gray-and-white cat.

"Sidney!" Nat cried out in surprise, and with a meow of delight,
the cat bounded from his perch and leapt into her arms, purring
madly. "Oh Sidney," she crooned as he nuzzled her chin.

She looked up at the angel.

He smiled and said, "Hello."

Natalie burst into tears.

She buried her face in the cat's fur and Sidney, who was feeling
very nostalgic, meowed sympathetically and relaxed into the
once-familiar role of feline handkerchief. She felt strong hands
on her shoulders, and a kind voice said, "It's okay. Come over
here where you can sit down," and soon she was sitting on the
log, clutching Sidney close and weeping with abandon.

"I fffeel ridi-diculous..." she sobbed..

"Don't," the angel said soothingly, patting her gently on the
back. "It's perfectly normal. Sooner or later, everyone needs a
really good cry. That's why these are standard issue." From
somewhere he produced a very large white handkerchief and
pressed it into her hand.

They sat there -- the angel providing an apparently endless
supply of handkerchiefs, and Sidney occasionally licking her
face affectionately -- until at last the storm ran its course,
and Natalie straightened up with a deep, shuddering sigh. She
looked around, expecting to see a snowdrift of discarded linen
at her feet.

"Where....?"

"Trade secret," the angel whispered conspiratorily.

"I'm sorry... Poor Sidney." She sniffed and caressed the cat. "A
fine way to say hello -- a saltwater bath." She pushed her hair
back with one hand and grimaced. "I must look awful."

"No, you don't."

"Oh, I know what I look like when I cry. My face gets all puffy
and my nose turns bright red. Like Rudolph."

The angel shook his head. "It may be a little damp around the
edges, but I assure you your face isn't the least bit puffy, and
your nose isn't red." He touched the tip of it lightly with his
forefinger for emphasis.

And then he kissed it.

And he kissed the tears from her eyes and her cheeks and the
corners of her mouth, and as he drew her onto his lap, she
wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed, "Oh Nick....."

They held each other close, in a blissful silence broken only by
Sidney's contented purring. He hunkered down out on Nat's lap,
thoughtfully keeping out of the away while basking in their
happiness....

Nick pressed a kiss into her hair -- his cheek so warm against
hers -- and lifted his head to look at her, his face radiant.

"I love you, Natalie," he whispered, tracing the outline of her
jaw with his fingertips as if he couldn't quite believe that she
was real.

"I love you, too, Nicholas de Brabant."

He laughed softly and shook his head, "Just Nicholas, now."

"Just? Just?" Nat began to laugh, joy bubbling up inside her
like a fountain. The sound filled Nick with delight and
curiosity.

"What's so funny?" he asked, smoothing her hair where he'd
rumpled it in their embrace.

"Don't you know? Judging by appearances, I thought you'd know
everything," she teased, eyes sparkling..

"Hardly." It was Nick's turn to laugh, so merrily that she felt
she might cry again for sheer happiness. She had dreamed of
seeing him like this -- the capacity for joy that had flashed
all too briefly in the past pouring out of him like music... "It
would spoil the fun," he said. "He's big on surprises."

No need to ask Who he meant. "Yes, I'd noticed."

"So, my love, I ask again, What's so funny?"

"Me. Here I was, so... so worried about you, and...... well.....
look at you, Nick." she took his face in her hands and whispered
in loving awe .... "Just look at you."

"I'd rather look at you." He clasped her hands in his.

"You know what I mean."

He nodded, bending his head to kiss her fingertips, and Nat
thought she detected the faintest of blushes. For a moment, he
looked like a small boy who, with every reason to be proud of
himself, is trying not to show it too much.

He kept his attention focused on their clasped hands. "It was
quite a surprise," he said softly, almost shyly. "You could have
knocked me over with a.... well, it was quite a suprise."

"Actually, when I think about it, it doesn't really surprise me
very much. It's what you've always wanted to do, isn't it? From
the time you were a little boy.... 'To Protect and Serve.' " She
kissed his forehead tenderly and whispered. "I've missed you,
Nick."

"I've missed you, too." He said simply. "It's been so long." He
looked up, and he no longer reminded her of a little boy.

There had been times in the past when he'd let his guard down,
and she had seen the weight of centuries in the depths of the
blue eyes. The shadows of pain and struggle were gone, and the
glow of wisdom and hard-won peace had taken their place,
but.......

"Nick," she whispered, searching his face, "it's been longer for
you than it has for me, hasn't it?"

He gave her a sideways smile and shrug -- a familiar gesture,
now accompanied by a rustle of feathers and flash of gold as his
wings moved in the sunlight.

"How much longer? Years?... Decades?...." He didn't answer, but
she read the truth in his eyes. . "Centuries?" she whispered.

He smiled and took her face in his hands. "It doesn't matter,
Nat. We have forever now....." Their lips met in a long, sweet
kiss...

"Poor Mrs. MacNealy." Nat sighed contentedly and rested her head
on his shoulder.

"Who is Mrs. MacNealy and why are we sorry for her?"

"Mrs. MacNealy was my 5th-grade Sunday School teacher. She had
very, very definite ideas about Heaven and... angels... and so
forth. This is *not* what she expected."

"Well, I imagine she's recovered from the disappointment by
now." Nick laughed softly and drew her still closer.

The bright beauty of her spirit was as palpable to him now as
the touch of her hand or the scent of her hair had been to him
in that other life. He had never doubted the promise of this
reunion, but now that it was here at last, his heart soared with
joy -- a joy tinged with wonder that this gallant soul should
have loved him, should have chosen to be his companion for
eternity.

"Nick?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Were we... 'meant to be'?"

"We were meant to have the choice."

"You would have found your way, Nick. Even if you'd never met
me."

He nodded. "But the truth is that you were there, with me, for
me. To deny that would be as wrong as denying that He was with
me. All the 'might-have-beens' are past and done, Nat. Whether
they would have taken us down better roads or worse..... we'll
never know. No one gets to know what would have happened. And in
the end, all roads come to the same place, to the same
choice...."

"Remember," he whispered softly, "Remember with me, Nat.
Remember us.... From the beginning...." Natalie felt herself
falling into the deep blue of his eyes, falling back into the
past. She relived it all, this time seeing it through Nick's
eyes as well as her own....

***************************** 
He woke on the cold steel table,
ravenous, aware of the sole human heartbeat, the temptation of
her blood.... His awe at her approach -- such courage, like Joan
-- as she reached out to touch him.... the urge to bite so
powerful that he snatched her hand away.... then another desire,
even more deep, to feel the warmth of her hand pressed against
his cheek, the wrist turned safely away...... "You're so cold."
"I'm dead." But the warmth of her touch plucked some invisible
thread to his cold heart and it beat, twice, giving the lie to
his words......

"Just friends..."

"Yeah, like a sister...." Oh, she wanted to laugh and kick her
then-self for not seeing the patent falseness of it, it had been
written all over his face.....

"Some friendships you trust your soul to..."

"An apple a day keeps the coroner away." "... I wouldn't want to
do that..." "I knew there was something between us, something
very special.." Bereft of memory, his life had seemed full with
her in his arms......

Desperate fear as he broke into the operating room, fighting not
to unleash the vampire..... Relief as she stirred, the warmth of
her face against his....a silent prayer of thanks.

Intoxicating joy, holding each other in the morning sun...... a
glowing memory to take back with him into the darkness as the
drug failed.....

"What are we going to do about this? About how we feel?"
Serenely sure of her answer...... "Are you afraid?" "No." All
the dreams shattered that night at Azure..... his struggle, once
the vampire was set loose, to keep from tasting her. Anguish
clasping her in his arms, knowing what he must do to keep her
safe...

"I thought you .... *No, don't say that, mustn't remind her*...
the work we were doing.... was my wish..."

"Talk to me, Nick...."

Terror as the demon seized her, eager to bring her across.....
*God, help us....*

His dream of their child..... "I can't take that chance with
your life...."

That last night.... "I trust you...."

This time she remained aware of the room and the two still
figures locked in mortal combat..... She saw Nick let go, at
last, of everything except his faith in God and his love for
her..... She felt the pain as the stake plunged through his
heart, sending him falling forward into darkness.... never
hitting the floor, just falling into the dark.

He saw a distant point of light and yearned toward it.... It
burned, as LaCroix had said it would, burned like 10,000
suns.... agony flaming through every fiber of his being..... His
eyes glowed, his fangs dropped, he howled with anguish....and
embraced the pain with a fierce joy. For a timeless eternity it
blazed through him, and then it stopped, and there was only
joy....

He woke to find himself standing on a great, empty plain, the
rising sun sending his shadow stretching long before him toward
the distant mountains that were only a smudge of darker blue
against the horizon.....

As soon as he got his bearings, he began to run.....
*************************** 
"Oh my darling," Natalie asked, "Did
you run the whole way?"

"No," said Nick, shaking his head. "After about a mile I tripped
and fell flat on my face. Lesson number one.... "

A meow from Sidney drew their attention back to their furry
companion.

"So," Nat said, not quite sure where to direct her question.
"How long have you two guys been hanging out together?"

"Awhile."

Sidney, who was kneading his paws on Nick's forearm, added a
somewhat plaintive comment.

"What's the matter?" asked Nat.

Nick chuckled and looked down at the cat. "It's the chain mail.
He doesn't like the feel of it in his claws. He always gives me
a hard time about it when he's hitching a ride on my shoulder..."

"Hmmm. Well, it is a little......" She tapped her fist lightly
against his chest.

"What? And here I got all dressed up in my best to impress you. "

"Oh, I'm impressed, all right. But I still agree with Sidney,"
she said.

"As my lady wishes." He kissed the palm of her hand. She felt a
slight movement beneath her, and the bright metal and silk
shimmered and disappeared, replaced by white linen and soft,
deep-blue wool. So far as she could tell, since she was sitting
on a good deal of it, it was the same style of shirt and long
tunic Nick would have worn in his mortal life. Nat looked down
to see that his boots had vanished with the mail, and she found
herself staring in a preoccupied fashion at his bare feet.

"Penny for your thoughts." Nick whispered in her ear.

"Oh, nothing important... sort of a scientific question. It'll
keep.... ." Actually, she had been wondering if angels' feet
were any more ticklish than vampires'. She lightly ran her
fingertips along the edge of his wing and smiled again. "I
wonder what Schanke would think about this."

"Schank? Well, he doesn't call me 'Wonder Boy' anymore."

"Doesn't he?" Nat asked in awed delight.

"Nope. Now it's 'Fly Boy." Nick shook his head sadly, twinkling
blue eyes belying his doleful expression. "I get no respect," he
added, with a deeply contented sigh.

"Awww. Poor baby." She patted him soothingly and pulled his head
down to her shoulder in mock consolation. Nick smiled into her
neck as she ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her
arms around him.

She looked over his shoulder at the path leading through the
clearing and into the forest and was suddenly sober. "Nick?"

"Mmmmhmmm?" he replied, still not looking up.

"This isn't the end of my road, is it?" she asked quietly,
anticipating another parting.

"No, not quite." he said, lifting his head to follow her gaze.
He pecked her on the cheek to get her attention and smiled
gently at her wistful expression. "But I'll walk the rest of the
way with you, Nat. Or, if you like, I could....." he raised an
eyebrow and nodded at the circle of blue sky above them.

She put one arm around his neck and gathered Sidney close with
the other. As he cradled her in his arms, the cat settled into
her lap with a small sound of feline content. "Take us home,
Nick."

"Home." He kissed her again and with one, smooth, graceful
motion, rose, spread his wings and soared to the light beyond
the mountains.

Finis ------------------------------------------------
"Journeys end in lovers' meeting" -- William Shakespeare