Date:         Fri, 8 Sep 1995 16:30:50 -0700 
From: Dianne Therese DeSha <desha@BCF.USC.EDU>

  Song Challenge:  LaCroix's Ditty
         by Dianne La Mercenaire  -*-  <maeve@gg.caltech.edu>

I want it on record that this is *All Lynn's Fault*! <g>  She suggested " 'A 
Modern Major-General' (or an 'Ancient General')" for LaCroix in the Song Title 
Challenge & caused this monster to mutate in my brain! It's *so* bad, I just 
*had* to share it with all of you (aren't you *lucky*? ;-)))  The first verse 
follows the original pretty closely, but then it just wandered off (and 
luckily hasn't been seen since ;-)

*********************************************************

LaCroix:I am the very model of an ancient Roman general,
         I've information sanguinary, lethal, and historical,
         I knew the kings of England, and I watched the fights historical
         From Marathon to Waterloo, in order parasitical;
         I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters exsanguineous,
         I've drained a range of nuns-- from the novice to the prioress;
         About hematoglobulin I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
         With many cheerful facts about the tasty Knighties I seduce.*

All:    With many cheerful facts about the tasty Knighties I seduce.*

LaCroix:I've tasted every vintage, from plain bovine to the AB types;
         I munch on hardened criminals; I've quite a taste for
           young pinstripes,
         I'll happ'ly suck dry any living creature with a corpuscle,
         (I've got a certain fetish for a lady in a large bustle).
         I have a son and daughter now; he's really quite the annoyance,
         (I'm rather fond of Janette, but she's sold the club and
           moved to France).
         Plagued with angst interminable; some people say I torture Nick,
         It's just not natural for him to be so ahemophillic!

All:    It's just not natural for him to be so ahemophillic!

LaCroix:I'm very good at bloodsucking; I hypnotized a coroner;
         I know the scientific names of every kind of blood and gore:
         In short, in matters sanguinary, lethal, and historical,
         I am the very model of an ancient Roman general.

ALL:    In short, in matters sanguinary, lethal, and historical,
         He is the very model of an ancient Roman general.


         ***Ta Da!!!***  <bows...*ducks*!>

________________________
*O.k., o.k.-- Knightie-friendly alternate line:
         "With many cheerful facts about the most scrumptious of de-ja vus."

 There! <vbg>

As always,
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
Praise, flames, bloopers &/or chocolate to desha@mizar.usc.edu
Dianne la Mercenaire...    -*-   <desha@mizar.usc.edu> -*-
"We must be powerful, beautiful, and without regret."-*-