Return-Path: Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 14:49:31 EDT Reply-To: Libratsie@AOL.COM Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories From: Libby Singleton Subject: MARY SUE SETS THINGS RIGHT (01/01) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Permission to archive to www.fkfanfic.com, the FKFIC-L ftp site, and the Ratpack 'Ome Page ONLY. All others please ask. NOTE: Obviously, this ... gem is in response to the latest Mary Sue craze and is dedicated to the N&Ners. I've "owed" them a story since War 8. There's another one for them that'll be posting in several weeks, but perhaps this will serve as an appetizer. Then again, maybe I ought to find a place to hide now. I haven't had this one beta read because I feared for my lil' Ratpacker backside. MARY SUE SETS THINGS RIGHT (01/01) by Libby Singleton Nat wetted the rag in the bucket, then softly, with gentle motions, wiped away the grime from his face. "You know, Screed," she said, "I really should give you time to clean up when you've been hunting." "Ain't it more fun tew dew the spic n' spannin' yewrself, me Natsie Ratsie?" Screed whispered in her ear. With one practiced finger, he brushed aside her hair and began licking her neck at that one spot all vampires, carouche or not, knew. "Mmmmm," Natalie moaned, tossing the rag behind her. It splattered against the wall, before falling to the floor of Screed's place. She pushed him back onto his cot as she undid his overalls. "You're right...." "Natalie!" Nick's shocked, grief-filled voice sounded from the entrance way. "I thought I might find you here with ... him, but still!!!!" "Buzz off, angst-boy," Screed snarled, not bothering to look up. "Yew're hinterruptin' a hintim-i-natin' momento." Nat, however, managed to untangle herself from Screed's ratly..., uhr, manly grasp. "But still WOT, I mean, WHAT?" she snapped with such force that even Screed scooted away from her. "We've been though this, Nick. A woman deserves certain things in life that you aren't willing to give me. I work night and day for a cure, and how do I get thanked?" "I... I sent you flowers on your birthday," Nick stammered. "And what about last weekend? I took you out to eat...." "Then we went back to your loft for yet another Saturday night of watching bad movies while you snuck blood from your refrigerator!" Natalie snapped. "Don't deny it - I SAW you, Nick. At least Screed DRAINS rats, not acts like one." "I try, Natalie! You don't understand...." "What's going on here?" a new voice said from behind Nick. Everyone turned to see the embodiment of the mass media's perfect woman - tall, with flowing hair and dressed in the latest style. "I could hear you all the way out to the sidewalk. Oh... hi, Nick, Nat!" "You know us?" Nick asked. "Of course! I'm Mary Sue," the woman explained matter- of-factly. "It looks like I arrived just in the, if you'll excuse the phrase, nick of time!" "What do you mean?" Natalie said, standing to approach the woman. "You know what's going on?" "Of course! I'm Mary Sue." She put her arm around Nat's shoulder, speaking to the doctor as if she was an old friend. "You're making a mistake here, believe me. Nick can be ... a brick at times, but he really does love you." Mary Sue turned her attention to Nick. "And you have got to learn where Nat's coming from! A woman's not going to wait forever, Knight. If Natalie can't get ... it from you, she's going to turn to the next available man... thing... uhr... vampire!" Nick looked down at his shoes, then at Mary Sue, his face betraying inner turmoil. "You're sure?" "Of course! I'm Mary Sue!" Removing her arm from Nat's personage, Mary Sue took Natalie's hand and placed it in Nick's. "Now why don't you two go ... well, somewhere romantic and talk things through. First, though, I want to see you kiss and make up." Nick smiled shyly as Natalie puckered her lips in anticipation. Nick leaned down slightly and kissed her forehead. "You've got more to learn that I thought," Mary Sue said with some annoyance. "However, I'm sure you'll get the knack of things." "You sure he will?" Nat asked in frustration. "Of course! I'm Mary Sue." Shrugging, Nat dragged Nick back out to the alley. Screed stood from his cot, rushing to confront the intruder directly. "Now tha's all 'appily-ever-afterin' fer them," Screed said. "But wot about Ol' Screed 'ere? Ain't ever'day a fiesty wench doc-type like Natalie Ratalie comes along, eh?!" "Don't worry," Mary Sue said, brushing her hand down the side of Screed's nose. "I ALWAYS get the hero, the REAL man in the end." "Yew're tellin' me the truth o' the matter-o-fact, ain'tcha?" "Of course! I'm Mary Sue." Mary Sue planted a lip-lock on the carouche, forcing him across the room and against the wall. Coming up for air, she whispered seductively, "Now, isn't that better than some stuffy coroner?" "O' course! Yew're Mary Sue...." Uhr, if you decide to flame me, send along some marshmallows too, 'k? Heheheheheh. Libratsie@aol.com