Date:         Mon, 6 Nov 1995 06:36:26 -0600 
From: Julie Randolph <randolph@TENET.EDU> 
Subject:      Not Nick (1/1) 
 
 
**We take this moment out of your regularly scheduled war to bring you 
this nice sappy story from the heart of a Cousin (of all people)** 
 
In loving dedication to the Natpackers and the Nick/Nat Pack before we, 
the Cousins united, whip your butt. 
 
Not Nick 
Julie Randolph 
one of one 
 
 Natalie was walking down the street headed for home.  It was unusual that she 
walked, but as her car was in the shop and Nick had left hours ago, she had no 
other recourse...it wasen't far.  She did not hurry, as she could see the dawn 
breaking over the horizen and any vampires that felt the need to attack her 
were well to sleep by now...including Nick. She sighed...Nick.  How often had 
she thought of him since the day they met?  Every hour,of every day, of every 
year of the last four years of her life and for what?  Miniscule moments when 
he dropped the barrier between them and admitted to feeling more than just 
friendship...was that all?  No, she decided, she had a friend.  A friend very 
few others could boast in the world, a friend who watched over her.  She 
paused, so where was he now?  Sound asleep in bed, dreaming those dreams only 
a vampire can possibly know, things she would never know or understand.  
Perhaps they were dreams of her...perhaps.

 She was so caught up in her own thought, she neglected to watch where she was 
going.  About two seconds later a loud,"Look OUT lady!!!" echoed over the area 
and then someone on a bike plowed into her, knocking her down in the process.  
Nat slammed her head into the pavement, and that was the last thing she would 
remember as darkness closed in around her.

 *******************

 She woke to unfamiliar sourrundings.  the room had been darkened, a cool rag 
lay over her eyes and she bolted up in a bed she did not remember getting 
into.  She instantly regretted that move as the world began to spin around her 
and a low soft voice resounded through the room,"Woah, take it easy.  Lie back 
down, you have a nasty head lasceration but no concussion from what I could 
tell."

 The voice was also unfamiliar, but the gentle prodding of its nature forced 
her back down onto the pillows and her head was instantly much relieved.

 "Where am I?"

 She pulled the rag fro her eyes, testing her sight at got a blur.  the blur 
moved closer with a small flashlight and shone it in her eyes,"Can you see 
anything?"

 Natalie sighed,"Yes, I see a bright light in my face, kindly remove it if you 
would."  The light was removed and the blur began to take shape as it sat next 
to her on the bed.  Slowly, the shape changed fro a blur to a man with a pair 
of twinkling blue eyes that shone with the brightness of the morning sky, 
black hair, cut military style covered his head and his smile was simply 
radient.

 "I did not meant to alarm you...erm...Ms..."

 "Lambert...Natalie."

 "Well, Lambert Natalie, I am Dr. Gregory Richards.  It would seem my son 
mowed you down on his bicycle this morning.  There was nothing I could do for 
you at the hospital, but you were still unconscience so I brought you to my 
home, Ihope you don't mind."

 "No..no, that was very kind of you Dr. Richards."  She started to get up, but 
Gregory put a gentle hand on her shoulder,'You need to rest Ms. Lambert."

 "I will rest better at home."

 He smiled, and Natalie could not help but fell a lingering attraction to that 
smile, and those eyes...eyes that were so very much like Nick's, but not 
his,"I understand.  Perhaps you will allow me to accompany you?  I gave you a 
sedative, it may take some time to wear off."

 "Yes, thank you, that is very kind."

 He shrugged, tossing her a lopsided grin,"Genetics I think."  They both 
laughed until a young boy of about 11 poked his head in the door. Natalie was 
struck.  He looked much like his father, his eyes the same sky blue, but his 
hair,something he must have inherited from his mother, was blond and hung well 
down past his shoulders in an unkempt fashion.

 "Dad?  Is she okay?"

 Father turned around to assess son with amusement and irritation, it was 
plainly obvious that he loved his son very much,"Yes, Mitchell,she's fine, 
come on in and say hello."

 The boy hesitantly stepped inside the room and stood at the foot of the bed.  
A thought flitted through Nat's mind before she had the chance to stop it,'If 
Nick and I had a son, he would look something like this boy.'

 'Oh gosh, Miss...I am so sorry."

 She smiled,"Call me Natalie, and it's okay...really,' she added to the struck 
expression on his young face.

 "Mitchell, I am going to take Ms. Lambert home, hold down the fort while I'm 
gone?"

 Gregory ruffeled his sons hair and the boy twitched,"Sure dad."

 ****************************

 "He gets into some trouble, but he's really a great kid.  I hope you know 
that," Gregory said as he drove towards Nat's place.

 Natalie smiledat him, this man, whom she had somehow become comfortable with 
in these few hours. "If he takes after his father, I can see why...I suppose 
his mother is just as kind as the rest of the family."

 A shadow crossed Gregory's features,"Well, his mother passed away about a 
year ago."

 Nat was stuped.  She had faced moments like this before and never knew what 
to say, this was no different,"I'm sorry.' Stick to tradidtion, she thought, 
thats always best.  Gregory didn't respond, he stared out the window, trouble 
and pain wasing over his face and Nat's heart went out to him.  How many times 
had she seen that same expession on Nick's face...but, this was not Nick, was 
it?

 "Right there...on the left."  Nat pointed and Gregory turned into her parking 
space, got out of the car and came around to open her door. Natalie almost 
laughed, she had a vampire from the age of chilvary who did not do these 
things for her, perhaps, she mused, Nick took her for granted.

 "Let me walk you up, Ms. Lambert."

 "Oh, please call me Natalie, and that is not really necessary," Even as she 
said the words, she stood and the entire world swayed around her.  If she 
could just get it to stop so she could get off, she'd be fine. Gregory caught 
her arm, laughing,"You were saying?"  His eyes twinkeled and natalie could not 
help but notice once again their resembalance to Nick's.  She balance on his 
forearm, trying to focus her mind. This was not Nick, this was another man who 
was kind, gentle and funny.  She looked into the sky and realized for the 
first time that the sun was high in the sky...and this was a moment she would 
never share with Nick.

 Gregory guided her up the stairs to her apartment, hesitating just outside 
the door.

 "Was their something else I should know?"  She swayed and yawned, whatever he 
had given her was taking effect and she needed to sleep.

 He paused, cleared his throat, uncertain and Nat found it incredibally 
attractive.

 "This is going to seem forward, I know, but do you suppose you would like to 
have dinner with myself and Mitchell this evening?"

 He included his son, and Natalie found that to be intoxicating as well,"I 
would really like that..." she paused.

 He flashed her that radient smile,"But..."

 Her voice was fading raidly,"I work nights...I'm the Chief Medical examiner 
down at Metro."

 He laughed,"You're a doctor??"

 "Yes, something wrong with that?" Natalie was having a hard time focusing, 
her brain becoming fuzzy.

 Gregory shook his head,"Absolutely not...it's not often that I can talk 
medicine with anyone without getting that perverbial stare of incoherence."  
Natalie laughed with him.  It was a stare she had seen before, many times from 
not only Nick, but Schanke, Tracy and all three captains.

 "I know exactly what you mean."

 Natalie grasped valiently to her doorway, before finally giving up,"I had 
better go lie down."

 "Sodium Mamethol, Dr."

 "That strong???"

 "I wasn't sure if you had a concussion....I didn't want to take any chances 
that your pretty head would slide off your shoulders."

 She nodded, he was flirting with her, and what was more,she was enjoying it.

 Gregory looked at her for a moment,"Okay, an idea."

 "Shoot."

 "Breakfast?"

 She smiled,"I would like that very much."

 They made the necessary arrangements for him to pick her up the next morning 
and then he was gone.  Nat leaned agains the doorjamb for a moment.  What was 
Nick going to think?  She shrugged, who cares, this is not Nick.

 ******************************

 It was about 6:15am, the usual entourage of people were around her. Nick, 
Grace, Tracy and a few other milled around.  Nat looked at the clock, giving 
Nick her 'I believe it's time you headed home' look and he sighed glancing at 
the clock with what one might call hatred.  He moved across the room to stand 
near her,"Can you come by later?"

 "Why?"

 He looked vaguely stunned.  She had never asked 'why' before, simply came,"I 
just want to talk to you."

 Nat pulled away from her microscope to look up at him, he eyes were not 
twinkling with the brightness of sunlight as Gregory's did,"I can't."

 His turn,"Why?"

 Natalie paused,she wanted to make a scene, to flaunt it in his face and send 
him home like a child without dinner,but she didn't.  Her voice came out in a 
flat monotone,"I have a date."

 Every head in the room turned to look at her,and a evil light twitched in 
Tracy's eyes.  It was apparent that the young detective was going no where 
until she had the low down on the new man in Nat's life.  Nick simply stood 
there in stunned silence...was she serious?

 "I..erm...I guess, well, I guess I'll go home them."

 Natalie smiled at him, she was not angry, in fact she was happier than she 
could remember being in a long time.  She knew that the moment he left the 
other women would accost her.  It was something normal, something everyday, 
something she had not been privy to in years.  It was the beginnings of her 
return to a mortal life.

 The moment Nick walked out Tracy was upon her,"Okay...spill it, who is he, 
what's his name, what does he do...." Natalie laughed, holding up a hand at 
the endless barrage of questions she was only too happy to answer.

 "His name is Gregory Richards, he's a doctor over at County General...I don't 
know him very well...sheesh, it's just breakfast."

 Grace moved in like a vluture,'Oooooooo...a doctor...is he cute?"

 Nat nodded,"Yes thank you, he is cute."

 "Cuter than Nick?"

 Tracy grimmaced,"Nick? CUTE?  You are joking, right?"

 "Oh come one Trace, admit it, your partner is hot stuff."

 Tracy shrugged,"He's old Grace."

 "You young people...age really isnt the issue here."

 "Whatever you say," tracy shrugged.

 Natalie listened to them banter with humor.  It felt strange, joking about 
Nick in this manner, and yet, somehow it relieved something inside of her.  
That perhaps she had taken their relationship too seriously, and she 
shouldn't.  And then there was Gregory.  How long had it been since she'd even 
considered looking at another man?  She smiled grimly, for all means and 
purposes she had been married to Nick and his quest for humanity since the day 
they met, and suddenly she was free of that burden. Certainly she would never 
give up on Nick, but their relationship was friendship and nothing more, and 
never could be.

 She laughed and picked up her jacket,"You continue to argue about Nick, Ihave 
a date."

 **************************

 Gregory proved to be excellent company, but as they walked toward her 
apartment she could see a worried expression on his face.  She gently 
touchedhis arm,"Are you okay?"

 "Do you think something is wrong with Mitchell?"

 She thought about it,"Perhaps he feels uncomfortable with another woman in 
his mothers house."

 Gregory nodded,"Yeah, maybe..." He looked so far away that Nat thought of 
Nick...no, she chided herself, this was not Nick.

 The got inside and Nat could see lights coming from her answering machine.  
she pushed a button to play them back,"Have a seat, coffee?"

 "Sure."

 She listened to the messages in the kitchen.

 "Hey Nat, this is Nick, are you home? *a pause and a sigh* Nat?  Okay, call 
me when you get in. *a click and a beep*"

 "Natalie?  Where in the hell are you?  Okay, it's Nick again, please call 
when you get home."

 "It's me again.  Did you plan on coming home sometime today? Nat? *a pause* 
All right, I'll see you at work or call me okay?"

 "Last message...I swear...Nat *a long pause and a sigh and a click*"

 With that the messages began rewinding and Natalie actually smiled.  Was he 
jealous?  Good.  She walked back out with two cup of coffee and handed one to 
Gregory, he laughed,'Your boyfriend?"

 "No, just a friend."

 "A bit overprotective isn't he?"

 She sat down next to him on the couch,"You have no idea."

 Gregory looked into her eyes.  They were beautiful, coupeled with having her 
this close, he was overcome and took the glass from her hand, plaing it on the 
table next to his own.  He leaned forward slowly, their lips met and Nat 
sighed. His kiss was warm and soft, gentle.  As his hands started straying, he 
pulled away from her,"I better go."

 Natalie opened her eyes, and blinked, she had been thinking of Nick...but 
this was not Nick.

 Gregory went to the door and kissed her softly,"I'll call tomorrow."

 Nat smiled,"Okay."

 ************************************

 She had been at work for perhaps six minutes when Nick stormed in, he looked, 
to say the least, unamused,"Where were you all day?"

 "Out."  For some reason she did not feel the least bit guilty, remourseful or 
upset that Nick was obviously jealous, in fact, she was happy of it.

 "With that new guy?  What's his name?  Tracy won't stop talking about him, as 
if he's a bona fide angel from heaven...is that what he is Nat?"

 "My, my, my...but don't we sound just the tiniest bit jealous?"

 Nick paused, but she did not raise her eyes from the microscope,"And if I 
was?"

 And that did cause her to finally look up into his face.  She could tell he 
was not joking.  His eyes did not shine, his normally well kempt hair was 
touseled as if he had not slept well, she sighed,"I don't know."

 He approached her hesitantly,"Nat?"

 "What?"

 "If I were to ask you to stop seeing this man, what would you say?"

 'Go to hell' passed briefly through her mind, along with 'Kiss my ass, leave 
me alone, get out of my life and give me a break' but she settled on asking 
the question bothof them had always tried to avoid,until now.

 "Why?"

 Nick stammered.  He didn't really know why.  He did know that seeing her with 
another man, someone she could talk to, someone she obviiously respected, 
someone she could share her days with,and perhaps one day even have children 
with was eating away at him from the inside out.  It hurt him inside, in a 
place deep in his heary he could not heal, and it ached with every breath he 
took.

 Natalie did not expect to hear what he said next.  She had expected 
anything,"He's not right for you, or I don't like him, or He might be 
dangerous," anything except the softly spoken words that practically tore her 
heart out.

 "It is hurting me."

 She stood facing him, the sadness in his eyes apparent,"Our relationship was 
your decision."

 "I was wrong."

 With that he swept her into his arms, oblivious to the consequences of 
beingthis cloe and uncaring of anyone who saw them.  their lips came together 
in desire, they held back nothing and the eternal love, the love tha would 
somehow always be there, crashed over them in a tidal wave of emotion and 
passion.  All held dormant for so long, suddenly allowed to burst forth, and 
it took their breath away.  He pulled back to star into her face, unsure, 
uneasy and then crushed her to his chest, holding on for dear life and willing 
to God or whatever being might be up there that he did not lose this, his last 
remaining joy in his forever dark world.

 His voice was barely a whisper,"Please don't leave me."

 She looked up into his face, seeing love there in his eyes that perhaps she 
had never been able to see until now,"Do you understand Nat?  I need you...I 
need you...I cannot..." his voice faltered and he kissed her again, feeling 
everything about her in that moment.  Allowing feelings he knew could destroy 
them both to unfold in her mind.  She was his world, he could not allow it to 
slip away from him.

 She smiled into his eyes,"I won't leave you Nick, never."

 The words came easily, for in that time she realized what she had been 
unwilling to accept before now.  There could never be anyone else, because no 
matter who they were...they were not Nick. 
 
***************************************************************** 
all fake id's, definitions of "irony", oreos, letters of recommendations 
or Geriant Wyn Davies home address to randolph@tenet.edu 
 
"You didn't have a cat named fluffy, didja?"--Nick to Tracy, 
Blind Faith 
*****************************************************************