PARENTHOOD 
                               by darkangel 
  
        "Delivery for Lucien LaCroix?" 
        Janette glared at the Fedex man.  "What is it?" 
        He shrugged.  "I don't know, ma'am." 
        She sighed.  "I'll accept it."  She accepted the man's pen and 
hurriedly scratched her signature onto the line he indicated. 
        He set down the box.  "Have a nice day, ma'am." 
        As he left, Janette stared at the box.  LaCroix often had his 
packages delivered her, but there was something strange about this one. 
It just felt... odd.  She picked up the box to carry it into her office 
for the next time LaCroix came by.  A strange noise came out of it.  She 
almost dropped it, startled, but caught herself and set it onto the bar. 
The strange noise came again, louder.  She heard something scratching at 
the lid.  What could LaCroix have ordered that sounded... alive? 
Whatever it was, it didn't sound happy. 
        She made the decision and sliced the packing tape open with her 
fingernail.  She opened the box to reveal a tiny coffin, maybe two feet 
in length.  The noise was definitely coming from inside.  She pried the 
lid open, slowly. 
        The baby inside quieted upon seeing her.  Baby?  What was LaCroix 
doing by ordering a baby, and who would be so cruel as to ship it in a 
Fedex box?  There was a note taped to the inside of the coffin lid. 
  
        Lucien - 
  
                Next time you decide to fuck mortals, use protection. 
  
It was unsigned, and the feminine handwriting didn't look familiar.  This 
must be some kind of joke, she thought.  Next to the infant was a pink-tinged 
baby bottle.  She sniffed it warily.  Milk and... blood? 
        The child noticed the bottle and began crying.  When Janette 
didn't feed it, its eyes turned gold and it snarled, showing fangs before 
it went back to screaming like a mortal child. 
        Janette started laughing.  This was too amusing to be true!  And, 
come to think of it, the brat did look kind of like LaCroix, even if it 
did have dark hair.  She stuck the bottle into its mouth to shut it up. 
"Alma?  Come here!" 
        The redhead came into the main room of the club.  "What?" 
        "Get LaCroix on the phone for me - and tell him it's urgent!" 
  
        "What is the meaning of this?"  LaCroix stormed into the Raven to 
see Alma cuddling a child, and Janette trying to wipe a smirk off her face. 
        "Someone sent you a gift."  She held the note out to him. 
        He snatched it from her and read it.  He looked up, bewildered. 
Janette pointed at the baby. 
        "Isn't she adorable?"  Alma cooed, holding the child out to LaCroix. 
LaCroix just stared at it, dumbfounded.  Suddenly his mouth fell open. 
        "It called me 'daddy'!"  He wasn't sure whether to wring its neck 
or cuddle it.  He compromised by holding it gingerly out in front of him, 
eyeing it.  The infant giggled and grinned, showing its fangs and its 
lack of other teeth besides the pointed eyeteeth. 
        He grinned, his eyes full of wonder.  "I'm a father!"  He held 
her close.  "And I think I'll name you after me.  'Lucy?'  Do you like 
that?  Are you thirsty?  Do you need anything?" 
        The baby giggled again. and grabbed at his shirt. 
        Janette was watching all this with a shocked look on her face. 
LaCroix?  Being cute?  With a baby?  She shuddered.  Now that she knew 
that the Eastern European myth of the dhampir was true, she would have to 
buy a supply of condoms...