This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for
the TV series Forever Knight.

Rage (1/4)
by Carrie Krumtum
          
     
     He hung up the phone and flew from the loft. His speed hit maximum within
seconds and he was running through the doors of the emergency room within
moments. His voice sounded loud to him but he lacked the control to quiet
himself. "NAT!"
     Joe Reese met him the instant he yelled. Hands held up in non contact
restraint he tried to calm his detective, "Hold it Nick. She's with the
doctors now." He stepped in front of him to stop him. He recognized the look
in his eyes. Fear. Pure, unadulterated fear. 
     He had to calm down, he knew. Where was she? There were so many heart beats.
He couldn't distinguish which was hers. He had to calm down and concentrate.
"Where is she? WHERE!?" He didn't want to yell. The volume was out of his
control. Everything seemed out of his control. He looked at the captain. He
saw the compassion in his eyes. He didn't know if it was for him or for her.
He was shaking. Raising his hand to run it through his hair, an absent minded
gesture, he noticed it. He was shaking. Not just his hands. All of him. He
felt as if he would shake apart standing right where he was. The anger began
to rise then. Like leviathan from the deep. He took his captain by the
shoulders and centered his gaze on him. Fury for eyes, he dropped his voice
to the menacing tone he reserved for enemies, "Where...is...Natalie?" 
     Joe Reese winced at the pain generated by the grip on his shoulders. "Nick.
NICK!"
     The pained look in his captain's face registered to him finally. He let go
and turned away. Control, you must gain control! He closed his eyes to
prevent anyone else from seeing the gold he knew shone there. He was
breathing in deep gasps. He felt the gentle hand on his shoulder and tensed
for a moment. He froze in place and tried to clear his mind long enough to
settle down into a strong gale. To let the worst of the storm pass. He took
several measured deep breathes. "That's it." He heard his captain tell him.
"Take it easy Nick."
     He looked up at the now kind face of his captain. "Cap, please. Tell me
where she is." He was still shaking, but not as bad. He had to see her. To
make sure she was all right.
     "She's with the doctors now. They're taking good care of her Nick. As soon
as they're done, you can see her." Reese knew how this affected his
detective. He could see it in his face. He had seen it a hundred times
before. Sure, Nick would never admit openly that he loved her, but it was
there for everyone in the whole precinct to see. These two belonged to each
other. The first person she had asked for when they found her was Nick.
     When they found her...
     "What happened?" Nick had to know. The officer on the phone had said that
she was found, hurt and possibly assaulted, raped. NAT! No, God no. Not Nat.
She had been through so much. Not this. Not her. God. "Tell me what
happened!"
     Reese escorted Nick to the corner of the waiting room. Nick paced in the
corner. He was too unnerved to sit quietly. Reese let him pace. Nick needed
to expend some energy. He knew he would have to tell him. He hated telling
him. This was always the hardest part. Telling the loved ones. "She was
getting into her car at the grocery store. Headed home I guess. The bag boy
said he didn't hear anything. Just her car driving away. They found her in
the alley behind Wilcox. The uniforms called it in. She was unconscious." He
paused. Nick had stopped pacing and was so motionless he wasn't even sure he
had remembered to breath.
     At the pause he turned to look at the captain. "Was she...?" He couldn't say
it. The anger in him threatened to tear apart his resolve to maintain what
little control he had managed to achieve. The hurt and fear in his voice was
palpable. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists at the answer he knew
would come...
     "I'm sorry Nick." Joe Reese felt the restraint in his detective begin to
slip. "Right now, she needs you to be here. Nick, this won't help her. She
was asking for you. Can you be here for her Nick? Can you do that?"
     The questions hit him like physical blows. She needed him. Not his anger. He
turned his back to the captain. The room seemed to spin around him. Nat, oh
God Nat. I'm sorry. Nat... 
     When he turned back around he had regained his resolve. She was there and he
would be there for her. As long as she needed him. There was no where in the
world her attacker could hide. No where! It was only a matter of time...
     "Excuse me, are you Detective Knight?" A nurse had joined them seemingly
form nowhere. She was dressed in typical hospital scrubs, but, he could tell
this was no typical nurse. The kindness in her voice and the compassion in
her face spoke of her special roll. Her name tag said just what that roll
was, 'SAIT'. Sexual Assault Intervention Team. He had attended the mandatory
training as did every other detective in the precinct. He knew all too well
the significance of her roll with Nat. Her roll with all victims of rape. 
     "I'm Detective Knight." He said. 
     Reese noted the control in Nick's voice. He's going to make it, he thought.
For a few minutes there he wasn't sure if Nick would.
     "Detective, could you come with me please? She is asking for you." She
waited for his response. She knew that it was very hard on the ones who loved
the victims. They never knew what to say. How to act. There just were no
rules.
     He nodded his head and placed his hand on Joe Reese's arm. It was the only
gesture of thanks he could give just now. He hoped it was enough. The nurse
led him down the hall and around a corner. The sounds of the waiting room
faded and he listened carefully. There, her heartbeat! He knew it was her.
How many times had he sat next to her just listening to that sound. Counting
the beats silently. Thanking God for each stroke. They were stopped outside
of the room where she had been examined. The humiliating gathering of
evidence that violated her body again. In the name of justice. The nurse was
talking to him.
     "The assault was pretty brutal. I just want you to be prepared. She will
have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Detective?"
     He nodded his head again. There was no need for words. He was a homicide
detective. He had seen brutal. Hell, he had been brutal... 
     The nurse opened the door. Nothing he had ever seen or been could have
prepared him for the sight of her. He took a step inside the door and froze
where he stood. He could barely recognize her. The bruises on her face and
neck darkened her visage almost completely. The broken lip and swollen eyes
made her look more like a heavyweight boxer after fifteen rounds rather than
the petite woman she was. 
     She was lying with her eyes closed when she heard him enter. He paused. But
just for a moment. It seemed an eternity and then he was standing next to her
holding her hand. His gentle whisper called her out of the darkness and she
slowly opened her eyes. The lights hurt them. She shut them again. He said
something to the nurse and the brightness behind her swollen eye lids dimmed.
She tried opening her eyes again and saw the hazy outline of his face. As she
continued to look his face became clearer.
      He was whispering to her, "Nat, I'm here. Your safe now. I'll be here as
long as you want." 
     The look on his face was like a balm to her. She was afraid that she would
find only rage, but, instead she found concern and caring. His face was
filled with the softness she knew she wanted to find there, she NEEDED to
find there. He was there. She felt the hand holding hers tighten. She was so
tired. So very tired. They must have given her something to make her sleep.
"Nick." Her voice sounded small to her. So far away. He was whispering to her
again. She couldn't keep her eyes open anymore but she tried to listen to his
voice. That voice that surrounded her in the dark. That protected her now. He
was there.
     "Nat, it's all right now. Just rest. Rest. I'm here. Just rest." The words
came from somewhere inside him. He wasn't sure where. From a place they had
created, together. All he wanted right now was to know she was safe. She
needed to rest and to heal. 
     He turned to the nurse again. "I want her in a private room. I'll take care
of everything. Please make what ever arrangements are necessary." The nurse
nodded her reply and left the room for a short time. She was asleep. The best
thing for her right now. The strains of a conversation caught his attention
then. The nurses who were tending the desk down the hall. No one was supposed
to be able to her them, but he could. The horribleness of the injuries.
Thirty-seven stitches on her chest from the slashing. Broken ribs. Multiple
sexual assaults. Fractured wrist from the wrenching of her arm in the
struggle. She had tried to resist. It was always worse when they try to
resist. He looked down at her battered body. Her left arm was indeed in a
cast. He could see the dressing that covered her chest from breastbone to
left shoulder. Her arms where bruised from attempting to ward off blows. Her
hair was matted in places where the blood had dried. He closed his eyes as
the tears came, unbidden, unwelcome. "Nat. I'm so sorry..."
     She remained asleep as they transported her to the private room he had
requested. He had asked them to provide a cot for him. He would not leave
her. The doctor had informed him that it would be hours before she awoke. He
should go home. It became apparent that he wasn't going anywhere. They left
him with her. 
     He was sitting in the chair next to her bed with her hand nestled into the
palm of his own when she woke. He felt her hand tighten around his and was
instantly alert. 
     Her eyes refused to do what she told them to do. They weren't opening on
command. She concentrated and they slowly began to open. It was painful. They
must be swollen pretty badly, she noted. She knew he was there. He had been
there when she fell asleep. She didn't know how, but, she knew he would be
there still. She was rewarded with his face after the effort to open her eyes
succeeded. "Nick?"
     "I'm here Nat. I'm right here." His gentle voice filled her ears. 
     Her own voice still sounded far away and small. "I knew you would be." She
had to close her eyes again. It just took too much effort to keep them open.
"Nick." She heard herself say as she fell back asleep.
     He sat next to her throughout the remainder of that day and well into the
next night before she awoke again. He wished she were not a resistor. He
wanted to be able to tell her that this had never happened. That it was
nothing but a car accident, a fall, anything but what it was. Anything. As
she slept he listened to the nurses whisper at the station down the hall.
They had given her abortifacients to prevent pregnancy and antibiotics to
ward off infection. They would have to continue to test for disease for
months. The memory of the fear he had felt leap into his soul at the news of
the attack returned to him as he watched her sleep. He had been counting her
heartbeat and monitoring the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
Mechanical functions of the body that kept her with him. How was she going to
make it through this? He didn't know. What could he do to help her through?
He didn't know that either. Memories of the losses she had experienced
flooded him. Her brother, her godchild, her ignorance of the creatures of the
night. All gone. Now this. He knew it was irrational to blame himself. He
couldn't help but think that it was his fault. If he had been with her...he
could have protected her. 
     The sound of her breathing had changed and it brought his attention back to
her instantly. She was awake. "Nat?"
     She opened her eyes without quite as much effort as before. She even managed
a very small smile. "Hi."
     He marveled at her smile. He couldn't help but return it ten fold. "Hi." He
caressed her hair. 
     "You look like hell." She noted that he hadn't shaved in sometime, he was
extremely pale, even for him, and his clothes looked very slept in. It was
the pallor of his skin that worried her the most. "How long since you've
eaten?"
     He was dumbfounded at her concern for him after all she had been through.
"I'm fine." He could see a clearness in her eyes that hadn't been there since
he had gotten to the hospital. And along with the clearness there was the
haunted look as well. The terror that floated just below the surface.
     "You should go home. Get some rest. Eat." Her voice was stronger now. She
wanted him to take care of himself. She wanted him to stay with her. She knew
he should go home but prayed he wouldn't. It was important to her that he
stay only if he wanted to. She didn't want his pity.
     There was no pity in his visage. Only concern. He looked at her with the
healing tenderness she needed. She held to it like a lifeline. "I'll go.
Later. Don't worry about me. I'm fine." He could be stubborn. Thank God for
it.
     She tried to raise her head and was rewarded with a stabbing pain in her
left shoulder. She realized that every cell of her body hurt. She winced
involuntarily. 
     He cradled her head in his hand, "Nat, don't try to get up. I'll get the
nurse."
He rose and moved quickly to the door and said something to the nurse
outside. When he returned he stood behind the nurse who was checking the IV
tubing. She leaned down and quietly asked, "Do you need something for pain?"
     She didn't look at the nurse but over her shoulder to Nick standing behind
her. The concern on his face, it linked her to her reality. She nodded her
head. No use lying here in misery, she thought. The pain would only remind
her of...she closed her eyes. Not yet. I can't think about it. Not yet. She
struggled to keep the terror that lingered at the corners of her memory
submerged. She was loosing the battle. Against her very will the images began
to flood her, the smells, the sounds, the pain. 
     He saw the terror rise in her eyes just before they closed. The terror that
now washed across her face. She was trembling. The nurse left to get the
medication. He sat down on the edge of her bed and leaned down to hold her as
she lay. Her trembling became more violent as the sobs welled up from within
her. She was fighting with her attacker again. He knew that she was. "Shhhh.
It's okay. I'm here, Nat. Your safe. Shhhh." 
     She heard Nick's voice. It pulled at her mind. Bringing her back to the
hospital room and the cool touch of his hands. Nick's hands. Nick's voice. 
     The nurse returned and injected the medication into the IV tubing. She stood
just long enough to be sure the tubing was still patent and the IV fluid was
running correctly and then left. She couldn't do much else. Her patient
needed what this young man could give her far more than the medication.
     Natalie could feel the coolness of the drug enter the vein in her arm. It
burned a little. Just enough to tell her that it was there. In moments her
muscles began to relax, she felt the edges of her world become hazy. She
reached for him and felt him take her hand. She opened her eyes then to see
his face. The concern was there still, but, it was mingled with fear. Fear
for her, she knew. She felt the drug induced sleep tug at her. "Nick,
please..." her voice faded away from her. She wanted to ask him to make this
all go away. To take her way from here. She couldn't make her herself say
anything as she dropped into the sleep that awaited her.
     The fear nearly overwhelmed him. The terror was so clear on her face. He
felt a tear drop down his face and brushed it away with the back of his hand.
How was she going to make it through this? She wouldn't be alone. That much
he could promise. She wouldn't have to do this alone.

This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for
the TV series Forever Knight.

Rage (2/4)
by Carrie Krumtum

     He sat at her bedside until the nurse returned. 
     She touched his shoulder, "Excuse me Detective. We have to take care of her
now. With the pain medicine on board it will be easier to bath her, change
her bandages and change the linens. Maybe you should go home for awhile.
She'll be asleep for a few hours."      
     He didn't turn to face the nurse but heard the second nurse enter the room.
He would have to leave to give them privacy. He leaned to kiss Nat on the
forehead and rose to leave. "Please," he entreated the nurses, "call me if
she wakes before I get back." The first nurse said that they would. He left
the room then. Standing in the hall just outside the door her heard the
nurses begin their ministrations. They quietly told Natalie they were going
to bath her and change her dressings. He knew she was still asleep by the
sound of her breathing. The nurses told her anyway. They were caring for her
in the only way they knew how. Giving her advanced warning of every move they
made. Taking the fear away, giving her control. She had lost all of that.
Control. The attacker had taken it from her. His jaw tightened as his anger
returned. No one would ever take that away from her again. Not as long as he
lived.
     He arrived at his apartment with four hours of dark remaining. He fed first.
The long hours of hunger had weakened him some. That and the sleeplessness
made the whole thing feel like a sick dream. He sat in his kitchen with his
elbows on the table and his head in his hands. He knew that tomorrow would be
rough. Natalie would have to relive the attack, for the record. It was the
only way to catch the perp with human justice. He wanted to spare her that.
He wanted to make her forget. Her brutalized body became his vision. He tried
to close his eyes against it. He was unsuccessful. 
     He was shaking again. He felt the rage rise inside of him. He felt his eyes
blaze and his teeth ache as the fangs descended. The scream started at the
base of his very soul and grew as he through his head back to vent to the
night. He didn't remember standing but found himself on his feet clenching
his fists. The sound stopped. Leviathan had called and was now standing in
raging silence. His breath heaved in and out of his chest. And then, with the
waning of the scream came the tears. The ache. He felt as if his heart would
shatter any second. She looked so small, so fragile. Her bruises and casts
and bandages surrounding those terror filled eyes. Someone did this. Someone
did this to HER! That someone must pay. That someone must DIE!
     "Yes Nicholas!"
     He whirled to find LaCroix standing at the foot of the stairs. There was no
grin on his face. Uncharacteristically. There was, however, satisfaction in
his eyes.
     He liked this feeling he was getting from Nicholas. The rage had reawakened
the power in him. The hunter. The killer. It had reawakened the sleeping
giant. He closed his eyes to concentrated on the link they shared. He tried
to strengthen it. To broaden it. Nicholas was emanating such feeling, such
power. It surged in him. 
     He did not want to deal with LaCroix now. He did not want to listen to
LaCroix either. He wanted to be left alone. He would have to go back to the
hospital soon. Before dawn. He didn't have the time or the energy to waste
bantering with LaCroix. "Leave."
     "I know what you are feeling Nicholas. You cannot hide it from me. You know
that." LaCroix took a few steps towards Nicholas. His prodigal son. Now,
about to return. "Your rage burns hot inside of you. There must be
retribution. Yes. I can feel your power." He closed his eyes. "It rises from
the dark depths in you. From the true nature of what you are. Nurse it
Nicholas. Let it grow. Take your revenge."
     "LEAVE!"
     LaCroix looked back at his son. "As you wish Nicholas. But I am right. You
are more powerful now. Like this. You can feel it, can't you. The power you
have been missing. Your feelings have rekindled the need for the power. There
is a debt to be paid. For her, for you. Use your power Nicholas. Take your
revenge. Give in to what you are." 
     "LEAVE NOW!" He would not bear another sentence from LaCroix. Not one more
word!
He saw it then, the slow mocking grin that spread across LaCroix face. He
bared his fangs and growled low. He would not tolerate this intrusion any
longer. Even if that meant killing him. 
     LaCroix knew Nicholas well enough to know it was time to take his leave. The
rage had indeed made him powerful. Perhaps enough to inflict real damage.
Nicholas had very nearly killed him once with his rage. Now he was even more
powerful than before. His feelings for the coroner were quite strong. Yes.
Perhaps this was the straw that would lead his stray back home. He took to
the air as the growl grew more menacing. No use in pushing the issue now. The
rage would take care of itself. 
     He was alone again. He stood in his kitchen in the center of his loft.
Alone. He hung his head as the weariness overcame him. The rage began to
drain away after LaCroix had left. He was right. The anger had rekindled his
feelings of power. Bloodlust. Everything she had been trying to help him
overcome. Nat. Oh God, Nat. 
     He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there. His feet felt as if they
had been planted into the concrete of the loft's floor. He checked the time.
Twenty minutes until dawn. He would have to hurry.
     He showered and changed in less then ten minutes. He picked up the phone and
dialed. 
     "Reese," came the answer.
     "Yeah cap, it's Nick. Do you know who will do the interview with Nat today?"
Nick wanted to make sure it would be the right detective. There were a few he
wouldn't even let into the room. He didn't want to make an issue of it if he
didn't have to. But he wasn't going to let Nat be interviewed by an
insensitive and mindless idiot. She had been through enough, and this was
going to be hard as it was.
     "I've assigned Crosley." Reese knew why Nick had called. Hell, he would have
done the same thing. Make sure the interviewer had some compassion. Natalie
didn't need to be badgered about this. "She's the best Nick."
     Nick sighed silently. He should have known Reese would give it to Crosley.
Reese was right, she was the best. "Thanks cap. Thanks."
     "Listen, Nick. Are you okay? You sound whipped." He knew Nick hadn't left
the hospital. He would stay with Natalie until she didn't need him anymore.
Come hell or high water. 
     "I'm fine." Just like Reese to worry about ME. "Listen cap, I've got some
time coming and I was wondering..."
     "It's already taken care of Nick. You don't worry about things here. You do
what you got to do. Just let me know when you're ready to come back. Oh, and
Nick?"
     "Yeah?"
     "If Natalie needs anything, you let me know. Okay?"
     "Thanks. I will." He hung up. He had missed Amanda Cohen when she was
killed. She had trusted him, his instincts. Joe Reese also trusted him. He
was grateful for that. Very grateful. 
     He took to the air and arrived with only moments to spare. When he arrived
outside of her room the nurses were just leaving. "How is she?" He asked the
second one as she walked out the door to the room.
     "She's awake now. The pain is much better. She is asking for you." The nurse
was carrying the dirty sheets in her arms. She touched his arm as he turned
to enter the room. "Try and get her to eat something. She needs to eat." She
smiled at him. Any tool in the battle, she thought. Sometimes the loved ones
could do far more in some departments then any doctor or nurse.
     "I'll try." The nurse retreated down the hall with her burden and he opened
the door to her room and peeked inside.
     She watched as he poked his head in the door and then stepped into the room.
He looked some better, but not much. He had showered and shaved. His clothes
had been changed. His complexion was not quite so pale, he had fed. But, the
fatigue was written on the edges of his countenance. "You
look...some...better."
     "Well, I could say the same for you. Your sitting up." She was sitting with
the head of the bed up and her tray table in front of her. The food on the
tray was untouched. He moved the bed and sat down on the edge. He placed his
hand on top of hers as it rested on the bedspread. "You should eat
something."
     "I heard the nurse talking to you." She looked down at his hand on hers and
then up to the food on the tray. "If you think it's so good, you eat it
then." There was no anger in her voice. There didn't seem to be much of
anything in her voice. 
     He looked at her face. The swelling was a little better. Her eyes opened
completely now. Her affect was blank though. She must be in shock, he
thought. He had seen the terror in her eyes only hours before. It was still
there. Only now, it was hidden away. To give her room to process her pain. To
keep her from drowning. It wasn't gone. It would resurface. He again wished
she weren't a resistor so that he could help her to forget.
     He looked at the food on her plate. It was hospital food. It didn't look
very appetizing, but, she needed to eat. He looked over the fair and picked
up a piece of toast. He picked up the little jelly spread square and opened
it with his teeth. He upended the container and squeezed. The contents
dropped onto the toast with a nearly silent splat. Picking up the knife from
the tray he spread the jelly over the surface of the toast. He smelled of it
first. Wrinkling his nose and making the exact same face he used when
drinking one of her protein shakes he took a bite. He chewed the bite as if
being forced to drink poison and swallowed loudly. He was rewarded for his
efforts with a smile from her.
     She was smiling. His theatrics when drinking her protein shakes had always
made her laugh, even if they kind of annoyed her. He was trying to cheer her,
she knew. It was working. 
     He held out the toast to her mouth. "Your turn. Guaranteed not to kill you."
He was smiling now. It had worked, she took a small bite and then another. He
put the toast down and took the lid off of the coffee cup. He offered her the
cup and she took it from him. One sip and she set it down. "That's enough for
now." She was beginning to feel nauseated. Probably the pain medication, she
thought. 
     He didn't want to push it. He got up and moved the tray table back up
against the wall and decided to open the blinds of the window and let some of
the sunshine from the dawn in. He would just have to stay out of the rays. 
     She watched as he went to the window. He was careful to open the blinds to
shed the light away from him and onto the far wall from the bed. She started
to object, but then, thought better of it. As long as he stayed in the
shadows of the room he would be fine. She wanted to see the sunlight. He
returned to sit on the edge of her bed. "Thanks." Her voice sounded more real
to her now. 
     He would have to tell her about the interview. "Nat," he again laid his hand
on top of hers, "Detective Crosley will be here this morning to get your
statement." He looked in her face to watch her reaction. He waited. It was
slow in coming, as if the words he had spoken took a long time to register to
her.
     She heard him. It was so soon. She didn't want to think about it. Come on
Nat, she thought, you know the drill. She took a deep breath to steady
herself. She knew he was right. The sooner they started looking for him the
better chance they had of catching him. Him. She saw his face then. It was
before her so clearly. She looked at it without emotion at first. Then the
face began to laugh. That laugh. The fear began to rise in her. She didn't
want to think about it anymore. She closed her eyes and swallowed. "I know."
Her voice was a whisper again. She wanted Nick to hold her. She looked at him
then.
     He saw the need for him in her eyes and leaned in to hold her. Gently, he
put his arms around her and held her to him. She trembled in his embrace.
This was going to be rough. Really rough. "I'll be right here if you want.
The whole time." He felt her nod her head slightly against his chest. He
kissed the top of her head. He just held her then. Slowly the trembling began
to lessen and then to stop. He felt the dampness on his chest from her tears.
She made no sound. Just the tears. He held her. 
     He had held her for as long as she let him. Finally she pulled slowly away
and lay back onto the bed. She was still very weak. Her tears had stopped but
her face was still wet from the tracks they had made. Brushing away the
dampness with his hands he studied her visage. The shards of her strength
were becoming visible. That inner strength that so defined her to friends and
co-workers. He knew she had somehow been able to tap it now, steeling herself
for the ordeal ahead. "Get some rest. I'll be right here." He tried to smile
at her. To reassure her.
     The look on his face spoke of love, devotion and concern. He was doing all
the right things. He was more human than he thought. She smiled to herself.
Than we thought. Nick, if you only knew how much this means. She closed her
eyes. She WAS tired. He would be there for her. She knew that. He could be no
where else. Loyal and true. That was HER Nick. This new incarnation, this
current life. No matter what he thought he had been before, right now, he was
exactly what she needed. Loyal and true. She felt herself slipping into
sleep. She reached for him and felt him take her hand in his. Yes, you are
here. Thank God...
     She did not how long she slept. A few minutes? A few hours? She was wakened
by the gentle touch of his cool hand on her face. She heard his voice calling
to her from out of her sleep. She resisted the urge to go to him knowing what
awaited her in consciousness. She shivered involuntarily. His tender voice
spoke to her again.
     "Nat? Natalie?" He stroked the side of her face gently. The bruises were
beginning to pale slightly. Very slightly. Hers was a human metabolism. For
the first time in his current lifetime he wished he could give away a part of
his vampirism to a mortal. If only to allow her to heal quickly. It would be
weeks before all the wounds healed. And those would only be the physical
ones. The other wounds, the deeper wounds would take longer, and maybe never
heal. He swallowed down the fear that began to rise in him and spoke to her
again. "Nat?" He could hear her heartrate begin to pick up. She was waking.
     She opened her eyes and was rewarded with his face. Again she noted the love
and compassion in his eyes. They were her lifeline. She reached up and
touched his face. He took her hand in his and kissed the opened palm
replacing it to the side of his face. Her lifeline. She would hold to it in
the coming minutes. She had to. The darkness of her terror threatened her
then. It clouded her face. She would have to do this. Get through it. He
would be there, she knew. "Is the detective here?" Her voice trembled
slightly.
     "Yes." He was frightened for her. This whole thing shouldn't be happening.
     She nodded her head to him. She was a ready as she would ever be. The sooner
this was over the better. 
     He rose from the bed and opened the door to her room to admit Detective
Julie Crosley. Julie was dressed in bluejeans and a sweatshirt with a
teddybear print on the front. Good, he thought. Casual and comfortable. No
business suit. She was good. He brought the now empty tray table back to the
side of the bed and Julie placed the face kit box on it. She produced a tape
recorder from her purse and set it on the table. No hand written notes. The
tape would be transcribed and Natalie could sign it later. Right now it would
be just them. 


Rage (3/4)
by Carrie Krumtum

     Julie watched as Nick sat down next to Natalie on the edge of the bed and
wrapped his arm around her. He would be her rock during the interview. She
had long ago learned the value of having support there for the victim. Nick
was a pro. Everything she had heard about him suggested a good cop with a
slight reckless streak, but a good cop. A caring cop. It was common knowledge
that he and the Medical Examiner where an item. The genuine love and
compassion radiating from him only confirmed the rumors. Her admiration for
him stepped up a notch. Being the significant other of a rape victim was very
difficult. Often the emotions are as bad or worst for them. Many
relationships never survive the attack. Guilt, regret, fear, even a sense of
loathing or blaming the victim overwhelms them. They feel as if the victim
was now damaged goods. The relationship falls apart as the guilt about how
they feel threatens to drown them. The victim is victimized again. Perhaps it
was too soon to tell about this relationship, but she got the distinct
impression that none of that was going on here. He felt guilt and fear. No
doubt about that. But not aimed at Natalie. It was the helpless cop who could
do nothing to change what had happened. He looked older than his years. Maybe
he had wisdom beyond his years as well. 
     She turned her attention full on Natalie then. This victim was exhibiting
the legendary strength she was known for. A female coroner with the smarts to
be successful at a very gruesome and demanding job. She worked daily with
death and loss. Julie noted that her face, while distorted from her injuries,
was resolved. She was as ready to do this as she could ever be. "Hi Natalie.
I'm Julie Crosley." 
     "Hi." The moment Julie spoke to her Natalie was able to place her, "I
remember you from the picnic last year. You pitched the winning softball game
didn't you?"
     Julie smiled at the kind memory, "Yes I did. You remember that?"
     "Yeah. I was on the losing side." She looked up at Nick then. He had missed
the game. She was sorry about that. There was so much of life that happened
in the daylight. And he had to miss it. She hated that. Julie's voice brought
her back to the matter at hand.
     "Natalie, I'll be taping our talk. Okay?" She waited and was given a head
nod. "When we're through we'll go through the face kit and make a composite
if we can. All right?" Again she received a head nod. Nick's hand tightened
it's grip slightly on Nat's upper arm where it rested off of her shoulder.
She was ready. Julie turned on the tape recorder and looked into Natalie's
face. "Now, just tell me what you can remember, anything at all."
     She was trembling as she closed her eyes. The sounds and smells flooded back
to her...
     He closed his eyes as he listened to her remember. Her trembling at times
became violent and at times seemed to disappear completely. Slowly he began
to see the scene as it was painted by Nat's words. Julie asked infrequent but
very relevant questions to clarify details. He fought done the rage that
swelled within. Now was not the place. He would see the face soon. The face
of his enemy. Control, he demanded of himself, control. 
     He listened to her voice. She spoke of the events as if she were speaking
blasphemy. The terror was mixed with a pain that made his heart ache to hear
it. It burned inside him. It was painful and agonizing to him. Me, he
thought. What must it be like for HER? 
     The interview lasted for over an hour. They all waded through the time as if
walking through a mine field. The concentration and emotion was physically
draining for everyone. When Julie was satisfied that she had all the details
and information necessary to fry this perp she clicked off the recorder.
Natalie had held up well. Nick looked worse for the wear but was remaining
solid for her. Julie sighed. "I think you could use a break before we open
the face box." She stood and moved to the door. Turning back she spoke to
Nick, "I'll be in the cafeteria when she's ready." He nodded his reply and
she left them alone together. Natalie needed space. Space and Nick. 
     He moved to sit facing her. Her face still held traces of the horror and
pain he had heard in her voice. She had wept. The tears had made already
swollen eyes more puffy. The pain had returned. He stared at her as if his
look could somehow draw the pain from her. He would give his life to take
this pain from her. 
     She could not look at him. All the dirt in the universe seem to infest her
soul. She was unclean. Unworthy of him. She shook her head. She knew it was
not her fault. How many times had she heard this spoken to someone else? How
many times had she said those words to him? She couldn't help what she felt.
Every fiber of her being screamed her guilt at her. She didn't want him to
see her like this. The filth of her soul exposed. She didn't want that for
him. The sobs welled out of her and she turned her head away. She wanted him
to go. She needed him to stay. God. Why? Why me? God.
     He moved to take her in his arms. She held him away with one hand. The pain
and guilt poured out of her. "It wasn't your fault Nat." He gently told her.
"It wasn't your fault. You are not responsible for this." He gripped her hand
and gently pulled her to him. Her resistance began to soften. "Shhhh. It's
all right. It's not your fault. It's all right. Nat, I'm here. It's all
right." She collapsed into him then, her body racked by the sobs. "Shhhh.
Shhhh." He whispered into her hair. Rocking her gently, he just held her.
God. Why? Why her? God.
     As the sobs subsided the numbness began to envelope her. It was the emotion
draining that brought on the numbness. She noted it with clinical interest.
Numbness was good. She felt his arms around her. How long had they been
there? She didn't know. It wasn't important she decided. She opened her eyes
while still in his embrace and saw the face box on the table next to the bed.
She pulled away from him and reached to bring the table closer to her.
     He released her and helped to bring the table over in front of her. Her
affect was unreadable. Blank. He had felt her emotions begin to pull away
from him. He didn't know how to prevent it or even if he should. It was a
defense mechanism. Survival. She needed to deal with this in her own way. He
feared her closing him out. He wouldn't let her go through this alone, but,
he was not making the rules here. She was. Whatever she needed he would give
her. It was going to be a rough ride irregardless. How could it be anything
else?
     She opened the face box and let the lid fall back. She had seen this done
with witnesses at the precinct. The box contained clear plastic cards that
contained different aspects of facial features. They could be laid one on top
of another until all the various aspects of a face were represented. The
finished product was a composite of the person being sought. In the front of
the box was a template holder. She removed this and leaned it into the
notches on the front of the box designed to hold it. Flipping through the
first section of cards she picked up and drop individual cards searching for
the facial outline that matched the closest to her memory of her attacker.
     He watched as she went through the cards one at a time. She showed no
emotion now as she went about the work or reconstructing the face. It was the
clinical coldness of her actions that bothered him. She had walled herself
off. Completely, for the time being. He decided he should go get Julie. "I'll
go get Detective Crosley."
     "Okay." She didn't look up at him. She stayed focused on the task at hand.
Making the face. She picked up another card.
     Standing he moved to leave. He knew he would see the face soon. He clenched
his fists and fought the urge to open a new hole in the wall of the room with
them. Control. Control the anger. He would not get away. There was no where
to hide from a vampire. He left her to go find Julie.
     Nat had been able to distinguish the facial shape and the nose by the time
Nick returned with Julie. She was going through the cards that showed the
eyes. 
     Julie noted the absence of emotion on her face. Nick had been very disturbed
when he had arrived in the cafeteria. It was a normal reaction to hearing the
details of an attack. Now she knew it was more. Natalie was in complete
emotional shock. It was helpful for the investigation but very hard on Nick.
The information Natalie had given her already gave her several leads. If she
could make a clear composite of the perp Julie was sure they could get him.
Natalie would come out of the shock. That was always the case. It was unclear
if she would be able to deal well with the emotions or not. Julie had seen
even the most intelligent and caring people so devastated by this kind of
attack that they never recovered. Especially if they were abandoned by their
significant other. Nick didn't appear to be contemplating anything like that.
On the contrary, he radiated love and support for her. But he was fighting
something. Something else. The anger. Yes, she thought. The rage. He kept it
well controlled now, but it was there. She thought of the stories she had
heard about him. He had risked his life countless times to save innocent
victims, criminals and cops alike. His bravery was legendary. It must make
him feel helpless, she thought. No amount of bravery could help him here.
This was a battle of a different sort. It required a special type of courage.
He was brave in the face of danger yes, but did he have the courage to face
the terror of her need? His anger? Julie hoped so. For both of their sakes.
     Nick stood up against the wall beside the window. As the sun rose to it's
zenith the light streamed in past the blinds and made patterns on the wall
that opposed Natalie's bed. It was hard for him to watch her. She seemed so
empty of life, mechanical. She had crawled into a protective shell.
Eventually the shell would break. He knew. He only hoped what he could give
her would be enough to help her when the time came. He hoped.
     It took over an hour for Nat to complete the face. When she placed the last
card, the one with the hair, she saw her attacker before her. Nick saw the
recognition on her face. He moved quickly to look at the face of his enemy.
As he did Julie went around the other side of the bed to view it as well.
Nick let the image burn it's impression on his brain. That face would not
have long to see this mortal world. He felt leviathan begin to rise and with
sheer force of will pushed it down again. There would be time. Night would be
here soon. 
     "Is that him?" Julie was asking Natalie.
     "Yes." Her answer was curt. It was him. The image made her shudder. It was
him. She felt her emotions returning and, with a mental violence that made
her wince, slammed the door on them to keep them contained. Not now. Not yet.
I can't. She felt his touch on her shoulder. Nick stood next to the bed and
his touch anchored her. She took a deep breath. "That's him."
     Julie looked at Nick then and with a recognition realized what he must be
thinking. The look on his face spoke of a dark resolve that almost frightened
her. She saw now why others spoke of him as a kind of paladin. He would
avenge his love given a chance. He was dangerous. Not to the general public,
but to this perp and to himself. She knew she would have to find the perp
BEFORE he did. She had seen this before. "Nick, you have to leave this to me.
We'll get him." 
     He didn't look up. No, he thought, I'll get him. He is mine! 
     "Nick?" Julie was really concerned. She would have to ask Captain Reese to
help her with this. 
     He took one last look at the composite as Julie reached to pick it up. She
flipped the clips on the template to keep the cards in place and put it in
the box then shut the lid. He didn't meet her eyes. He knew she had seen his
anger. She would try and stop him. That was her job. She had no way of
knowing that she was powerless to stop him. Let her think she can. He tried
to pull back his control around him like a blanket. "I'm fine." He finally
was able to say.
     Natalie looked up at him. His face was unreadable to her. She could only
imagine what he must be thinking as he looked at the face of her attacker.
No, she thought, I don't imagine, I know. He wants to kill him. She was
concerned for him then. She hadn't even thought about how Nick must be
feeling about all this. She had seen him when he was angry. When he had lost
control. "Nick?"
     He heard Natalie and was brought instantly back to her. He turned to face
her and sat on the edge of the bed again, pushing the tray table away from
the bed. There was concern on her battered face. Concern for him. His face
softened. "I'm fine, Nat." His response was automatic. She shouldn't be
worrying about him. She had enough to worry about. He could see the fatigue
on her face. It had been a long hard morning. It was now early afternoon and
she needed to eat and rest. Without looking away from Nat he spoke to Julie,
"Are we done here?"
     Julie regarded them. Nick would stay here with her for a little while. She
was sure of that. She knew he had an allergy to the sun and wouldn't leave
until it was dark. That gave her a head start. "Yeah. I'll get this back to
the precinct. Natalie, thank you." 
     Natalie looked from Nick to Julie. "Don't let him get away." It was all she
had to say. 
     Julie nodded and turned to leave. She paused and looked back at them. "Let
us handle this Nick."  He didn't respond to her. She left.
     His lack of response was not lost on Nat. "Nick, don't." She was looking
back at him now. She could see the terrible truth on his face. He would kill
her attacker if he could find him. It and been over one hundred years since
he had killed. She didn't want this from him. For him. "I don't want that.
Please Nick. You're not like that anymore." She was frightened.
     The fear on her face made his heart ache. "It's all right Nat. I know. I
should let her handle it. I know." He couldn't hide his anger. But he would
control the rage. They would have only one chance to catch him. When night
fell, he would find him. There was nothing that would stop him. Nothing. He
purposely softened his countenance and waited for her to relax. You must take
care of HER now. "You should eat something. And get some rest." He gently
pushed her hair back from her face and caressed her cheek. She looked so
tired.
     She watched as the anger seemed to dissolve away from him to be replaced by
his love for her. She needed him so desperately. She closed her eyes at his
touch. So gentle. She was tired. 
     As if on cue the nurse came in with her food tray. "I hope your hungry." She
set the tray down and came to check the IV. It was patent and running
properly. "Are in you pain? Do you need something?"
     "I'm fine," she said. "Just tired." 
     The nurse touched Nick on the shoulder. He looked up at her.
     "Tell her to eat. She needs the nourishment. Then I think you both should
rest." The nurse gave him a meaningful glance and than left.
     "You heard the drill sergeant. Time to eat." He smiled at her. 
     She wasn't hungry but she knew they were right. She needed the nourishment.
If she was to get out of there anytime soon she would have to eat. She nodded
to him and watched as he set up the tray for her. He was making quite a good
nursemaid. She smiled at the mental image of him in a white uniform. 

This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for
the TV series Forever Knight.

Rage (4/4)
by Carrie Krumtum

     When he woke it was nearly dark. He had been sitting in the chair next to
her bed. He listened to her for long moments. She was asleep. The nurse had
given her something for the pain even though she had said she was fine. Her
heartrate and breathing were steady and rhythmic. This was what she needed
most. Rest. Her looked at the hand he cradled in his own. It was so small and
pale. A kind hand. A doctor's hand. She deserved so much more from this life
than this. Pain, anguish. Her life should be filled with light and laughter.
Instead it was filled with the night and knowledge of the darkness. The guilt
filled him. He knew it was because of him that most of that was so. She loved
him. He knew that. She should never have known him. Yet, he couldn't imagine
his life without her. He didn't want to think of what that might be like. She
had become such a part of him. She had touch every part of him, his world.
She had brought the light back into his existence. He bent to kiss her hand. 
     Looking back at her as he opened the window he spoke too softly for human
ears to hear. "I love you Nat." Then he was in the air.
     Joe Reese looked up from the report he was reading and saw Nick at the
computer at his partner's desk. Damn, he thought, how long has he been here?
He walked over to his detective.
As he approached the desk he noticed a look a recognition on Nick's face. Oh
hell, he's found him in the files. "Knight! What the hell are you doing
here."
     Nick hit the ESC key as the captain approached and the screen he was looking
at disappeared. "Just catching up on some work cap." He lied.
     'Like hell you are. I thought I told you to stay out of this. Detective
Crosley told me you saw the composite. You have to let us handle this Nick.
You're too close. You know that. Don't throw away your career on this guy.
He's not worth it." The look on Nick's face wasn't encouraging.
     "What about Nat. Is she worth it? IS SHE?" He was standing now. He hadn't
meant to shout. Everyone in the squad room was looking at them. Of course
they all knew. He looked at the captain, not even trying to hide the anger
anymore. 
     "Look, Nick. I know how you feel..." He began.
     "Do you? No captain, I don't think you do. I don't think you could even
begin to know how I feel." His bitterness was palpable. 
     Reese knew that look. He had seen it in cops before. With this particular
cop it gave him the willies. The rage in Nick's eyes made his blood run cold.
He was very glad he was not his enemy. "I told you to stay out of it
Detective. That IS an order." He knew it didn't make a hell of a lot of
difference. If it had been my wife I wouldn't listen to me either, he
thought.
     "All right cap. Whatever." Nick waived his hand at the captain as he left.
He would do what he had to. Period. As soon as he was outside the backdoor he
was back in the air. Any attempt to follow him would be useless. He would
find him. Soon.
     He arrived at the last known address of the perp. Donald Lavendly. Forensics
had already been through. He was there to get evidence no mortal could
gather. He stood in the apartment and searched it with eyes that were not
human. He smelled every odor to familiarize himself with it. As he stood
there he bid the image to his mind. And he felt the rage within him grow. He
listened. He looked. There was a match book on the counter of the kitchen.
The Blue Lagoon. He took to the air again.
     He landed just behind the alley wall  and walked around the corner. There
was a line leading from the front door of the club. He walked to the head of
the line and was confronted with the bouncer, a very tall, very large
tattooed man. "Where do you think you're going?" He addressed Nick.
     Nick fixed him in a stare. "I'm going inside." The bouncer's heartbeat
resounded in Nick's ears.
     "Sure," the bouncer said as he held the door open, "inside."
     He entered and stood at the entrance just long enough to become accustomed
to the strobbing light inside the club. He glance around the room and tried
to spot the face he knew must be there. His eyes came to rest on the back of
a man standing at a booth. Just as he decided to go over and take a closer
look he saw Julie. She hadn't seen him yet. He ducked behind a post and kept
an eye on the man he suspected was his quarry. If Julie was here than so were
other cops. He would have to get to this guy and get him out of there quietly
and quickly. He moved with speed that defied human sight and stood behind the
man at the booth. "Excuse me."
     As the man turned around he saw Natalie's attacker standing in front of him.
He could smell his odor from his apartment on him. He felt his last grasp on
control snap and he had the attackers neck in his hand. A woman in the booth
behind the attacker screamed. 
     Julie looked up and saw Nick with a death grip on their suspect. How the
hell did he get there? She pulled her revolver and ran towards them. "NICK!
LET HIM GO!"
     The guys words rang in Lavendly's ears, "I'm going to kill you. You like to
hurt women don't you? DON'T YOU?" He was terrified. The look of rage in this
guys face terrified him. This guy wasn't human. He felt his feet begin to
leave the floor. He couldn't breath. He was clawing at the hand that held his
throat. Someone else was shouting but all he could hear was this guy's voice
in his ears. "You deserve to die for what you've done."
     Nick knew he mustn't turn here. He felt his fangs drop and knew that his
eyes were burning. He couldn't control it. He pulled the attacker to him,
nose to nose. He would kill him here, now. He would never hurt Natalie or
anyone again. Natalie. He closed his eyes at the thought of her. What would
she do if she were here? He heard her words in his head 'Nick, don't. Please
Nick. I don't want that.' 
     Julie was standing beside him then, shouting for him to let go. Others were
surrounding him now.
     'Give in to what you are. Use your power Nicholas. Take your revenge.'
LaCroix! He tightened his grip on the attacker and felt the clawing become
more frantic. 'Please Nick.'
     His head reeled. The rage nearly blinded him to everything else. This
monster must pay for what he had done to Natalie. Monster. Yes, monster. Like
him. 'Nick, don't.  I don't want that.'
Images of the women he had killed flooded his mind. His grip tightened.
Lavendly was thrashing in pure panic now. Julie was screaming at him to let
go. He had killed so many. 'Nick, don't. Please.' Natalie. Oh God Nat. 
     Julie was about to hit Nick when he let Lavendly go. Lavendly fell
unconscious to the ground. They had found the clothes Natalie had described
him as wearing during the attack, in his apartment, with strands of her hair
and blood on them. The forensics would convict him alone. If she could get
him to the courtroom alive. Another officer flipped Lavendly over and cuffed
him as he was coming to. She stepped in front of Nick.
     He stood with his eyes closed tight, struggling with the demons she could
only guess he fought. She place a cursory hand on his arm. 
     He felt her hand on his arm. He waited until he was sure his eyes were
normal before looking at her. Her face was filled with concern and anger and
relief. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He looked down at
Lavendly lying face down and cuffed on the floor. He would never know how
lucky he was. 
     "I thought you were told to leave this to us?" Julie couldn't keep the
irritation out of her voice. What she had just witnessed gave a whole new
meaning to blind rage. 
     "I know. I'm sorry." 
     She was surprised at how quiet his voice was. This was a very complicated
guy. And an honorable one. She wasn't so sure she would have been able to
stop if the shoes were on the other foot. He was looking at his hand.
     He would have killed him if it hadn't been for Nat. He knew that. Even now,
at this distance, she touched him. Nat. He looked back at Julie. 
     She reached out and took the hand he had been staring at. "She needs you
Nick. Let us do our job." 
     "Yeah." He slowly turned and left the club. The crowd that had surrounded
them slowly parted to let him go. He would go back to her. 
     She was still asleep when he landed silently back in her room. He closed the
window and sat back down in the chair beside her bed. The next few weeks
would be really hard for her. He touched her face tenderly. She had already
saved him from the rage. He hoped he could save her from the despair. If
there is a way under heaven, he thought, we will find it. His tears fell on
his face and he wiped them away. "I'll be here for you Nat. I love you."

End