From: "George Gorby" To: Cc: Subject: The Ribena Club Date: Sat, 1 May 1999 21:47:06 -0400 Permission to Mel Moser to post on the FK fanfic site. Author's note: This was my first-ever attempt at FK fan-fiction, so please don't judge it too harshly. This story could take place somewhere near the end of the story, before "Ashes to Ashes". The date given in the first piece of dialogue was just a haphazard guess - it is just there 'cause I needed a date. For my purposes, in this story, Tracey knows Nick and LaCroix are vampires. Teasing of any character is all in good fun - no offense intended to anyone. Disclaimers: This story is a Forever Knight version of the movie "The Breakfast Club" with a quick "Monty Python's Flying Circus" cameo. Everything belongs to its respective PTB and no copyright infringement is intended. I'm not making any money off this, only losing sleep, so please don't sue me. Warning! Mild spoilers for "Black Buddah" (parts one and two), "Dark Knight" (parts one and two), "False Witness", "Cherry Blossoms" and "Sons of Belial". Title note - Ribena is the liquid sometimes used for blood in the shooting of FK. Special thanks to my sisters Anastasia, Elbereth and Arista and to my parents for all their KtK advice and help. Lots of love to Canada, where the best vampire shows come from. Additional kudos and recommendations for "The Breakfast Club", not only the definitive 80's movie but also the definitive teen movie. Character Key: Nick Knight - NK Natalie Lambert - NL Tracey Vetter - TV Javier Vachon - JV LaCroix - LC Schanke/Carl - SC Spanish Inquisition Cardinal - SIC Enforcer 1 - E1 Enforcer 2 - E2 Okay, enough chitchat. Time to get stupid. John Hughes never saw this coming... "The Ribena Club" by Morgaine, CotK Act I Scene: just before sunrise. Outside of the Raven. Nick's voice is heard off-camera (o.c.): NK: "Sunday, May 19, 1996. The Raven, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Dear Enforcers, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Sunday incarcerated for whatever it was we did wrong. And maybe what we did *was* wrong. Who's to say? But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? I mean, you see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a guilt- ridden person who detests himself; a cold, manipulative control freak; a human-sympathizer in leather; an annoying, curious blond and a meddling doctor. Correct? That's the way we saw eachother at sunrise this morning. We were brainwashed." Scene: the main room of the Raven. Two tall men are pacing the floor impatiently. They are Enforcers, strong vampires dedicated to pre- serving the secret that their kind exist. They don't seem happy. One glances at his watch. E1: (stomps his foot) "They should have been here by now!" E2: "Give 'em a few minutes. They'll come, knowing what's at stake." E1: (shudders) "Please don't say the 's' word!" E2: "Sorry." (footsteps are heard) "Ah, here they come now." Enter Detective Nick Knight, Dr. Natalie Lambert, Lucien LaCroix, Detective Tracey Vetter and Javier Vachon. They seem a bit confused. E1: "Very good. Presumably you all received the note I sent each of you." (pulls from his pocket a piece of paper and reads from it) "'Dear friend, this is your friendly neighborhood Enforcer. You are ordered to be at the Raven at sunrise to- morrow. Penalty for not coming shall be as follows... Detective Knight, if you do not come, your mortal doctor friend shall be sliced pizza- fashion, with enough garlic to keep you from identifying the body. Javier Vachon, if you fail to appear, we will thrash your undead butt and cut off all your hair. Dr. Lambert, if you fail to come, you will do your next autopsy on Det. Knight. LaCroix, if you are not present, we will most severely trash both your club and Det. Knight." LaCroix growls angrily. E1 shrinks back a little, but continues reading. E1: "And Det. Vetter, if you don't show we'll tell your father who embroidered the pink bunnies on all suits." TV: "Eeek." E1 puts the note back into his pocket. E2: "I'm sure you're all wondering what this is about. You are each accused of the following crimes..." E2 comes closer to the group, eyes resting on each person as he addresses him/her. E2: "Javier Vachon. Allowing a blond, perky mortal (glances at Tracey) to know of our existence. Involving said mortal in the affairs of our world. Attempted murder of a brother vampire." JV: "Hey, I never did that last one!" E2: "Oh, really? Does anyone have a copy of the 'Black Buddah' script?" Nick begins to dig in his pockets. He pulls out a packet of papers and hands them to E2. NK: "Here ya go." LC: "Ever the pack-rat, aren't we, Nicholas?" NK: "This from the man who saved all his togas." LC: "For your sake, Nicholas, I will pretend I did not hear that." E2 tosses the script to Vachon. He leafs through it. JV: "Oh, yeah. The Inca. Sorry." E2: "Detective Tracey Vetter. Repeatedly involving yourself in affairs of the vampire community." TV: "That's it!?" E2: "Well, you weren't doing anything else." TV: "True." E2: "Lucien LaCroix. Allowing mortals and vampires to mingle in this club, thereby endangering our secrecy. Allowing Det. Knight to endanger us again and again with his ridiculous shenanigans. Sheesh, man, don't you have any control over him?" LC: "Have you ever been a parent?" E2: "No, not counting my hamster, that is." LC: "Than you cannot *possibly* understand how difficult it is." NK: "Am I really *that* much trouble? LC: "Duh." E2: "Dr. Natalie Lambert. Interfering with affairs of the vampire community. Encouraging Det. Knight in his quest for mortality. Attempting to 'cure' vampirism, thereby putting us all at risk." NL: "And how many times have I covered for you guys?!" E2: "Yeah, thanks. Detective Nicholas Knight. Attempted murder of your master vampire. Murder of your own kind. Allowing mortals to know of our existence. Becoming involved in affairs of the mortal world. Attempting to regain your mortality. Risking our secret while attempting to aid mortals. Replacing Mr. LaCroix's blood supply with Kool-Aid." LC: (glares at Nick) "That was you?" NK: "It was Janette's idea!" E1: "All right, all right, settle that later." NL: "So what's this all about?" E1: "Well, normally the punishment for these crimes is death. But that was getting old. So we've decided we'd be more creative this time." NK: "Meaning...?" E1: "Meaning you will all stay in this club for the rest of the day together. You will not leave, or we *will* enact the individual punishments we spoke of before. We will be waiting in the front room, and we will allow you to leave at sundown. Until then, you must tolerate eachother and keep yourselves occupied. Any questions?" Silence. E1: "All right then. Till sundown." E1 and E2 exit, wondering how many will make it out alive. LaCroix address Nick. LC: "Was it really you, Nicholas, who pulled the Kool- Aid prank?" NK: "Ummm...well, yeah. And it wasn't Janette's idea. (defensively) But just think of all the hell you've put me through over the past seven centuries! Besides, a little Kool-Aid won't kill you." LC: "Perhaps not. Though it did make me extremely nauseous." (shudders) "If it happens again, I shall serve the good doctor as the 'soupe de la nuit'." NK: "You stay away from her! And another thing - why can't you just call me Nick? You sound like my father." LC: "I *am* your father." NK: "You think I want people to know that? Anyway, why don't you just call me Nick, like everyone else does?" LC: "For the same reason you do not call me 'La'. It is not your name." NK: "Oh, fine." Natalie motions to the back of the room, where five armchairs are conveniently arranged in a circle. NL: "Why don't we all sit down?" Everyone sits. TV: (bounces in her seat) "Let's play a game! How about Truth or Dare?" Everyone looks at her blankly. TV: "Okay...I'll go first. Vachon, Truth or Dare?" JV: "Truth." TV: (cackles wickedly) "Was your relationship with Screed purely platonic?" JV: "Trace, that's disgusting. We were just good buddies. But don't ask me about Screed and those rats..." TV: "Ew. Your turn." JV: (looks at Natalie) "Truth or Dare?" NL: "Truth." JV: "Okay, Dr. Lambert, what are your feelings towards Nick?" NL: (blushes) "I love Nick - we're close friends." JV: "Just friends?" NL: (clearly lying) "Yes, just friends." LC: "Translate that as 'He's not getting any.' " NK: (embarassed) "LaCroix!" LC: "Well, you're not." Tracey and Vachon try desparately to contain their laughter. Small, repressed giggles escape them. Natalie is now an unusual shade of red. JV: (still giggling) "Umm...hmm...your turn, Doctor." NL: (in a challenging voice) "LaCroix, Truth or Dare?" LC: "As it seems to be the more challenging, Doctor, I choose truth." Nat looks as though she wants revenge for LaCroix's earlier comment. Then, apparently realizing what a unique opportunity this is, she loses her resolve. NL: (smiles) "Tell us an embarassing story about Nick." NK: "Hey, wait a minute!" NL: (wicked laugh) "Sorry, Nick, that's my choice." LC: "Don't worry, Nicholas. I will tell them only that during the first few days of your new life you refused to go to sleep without your 'blankie'." Nick covers his face with his hands. LaCroix leans back in his chair and smiles. Nat, Tracey, and Vachon try very hard not to laugh. LC: "Nicholas, Truth or Dare?" NK: (still angry about the blankie story) "Dare." LC: (smiles coolly) "Very well, I *dare* you to give up this foolish quest for your mortality and be content as you are." NK: "Uh...um...er...uh..." NL: (quickly) "Why don't we all do something else?" LaCroix nods knowingly. Act II a while later The group is silent. Just then, Schanke walks in! He's pushing a cart loaded with mops, brooms, buckets, sponges and bottles. He smiles at the group and begins to sweep. NK: "Schanke! I thought you were dead!" LC: "Dead? No, he's the Raven's custodian." NK: "But you died when your plane was bombed! Where is that 'Black Buddah' script..." SC: "Hey, the name's Carl. And I'm not dead, I don't do planes and I'm not a Buddhist. If you'll excuse me, I got some cleaning to do at..." (pulls out a slip of paper, looks at it and sighs) "...oh, great, the high school. Damn kids..." Schanke/Carl exits with his cart. Vachon suddenly starts giggling maniacally. JV: "Hey, guys, look what I swiped from that Enforcer!" Vachon reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small scroll. TV: "What is it?" JV: "I haven't opened it yet. It was in the dude's pocket, so I figured I'd snatch it while Nick and LaCroix's Kool-Aid argument was distracting him. Maybe it's a treasure map." TV: "I hope it's a blueberry muffin recipe!" LC: "Perhaps it's a hoax designed to distract us." NK and NL: (in unison) "Maybe it's the cure!" LaCroix glances at Nick and Nat. LC: "Vachon, perhaps you should give it to me." NK: (jumps up) "No way! Give it to me!" The door opens suddenly. Vachon quickly shoves the scroll into his pants. Nick takes his seat in his chair, and everyone attempts to look casual. E1 enters. E1: (angrily) "Okay, where is it?" NK: (innocently) "Where is what?" E1: "Don't play dumb with me, Knight! One of you took a small scroll from me, and I want it back, now!!" NL: "We don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you dropped it somewhere." E1: (looks terrified) "Oh no! What if it falls into the wrong hands?" LC: (smiles) "Impossible, sir. It's in Vachon's under- wear." Vachon's eyes widen. E1: "Very funny, LaCroix." E1 stomps out, closing the door behind him. Pause, while Vachon makes some very rude gestures at LaCroix. E1 comes back in, carrying a few sheets of paper and a couple pencils. E1: "Just for that..." (leaves paper and pencils on a table) "...you have to write an essay about who you think you are!" TV: "And if we don't?" E!: "Then I'll be forced to break out the stakes. And I don't mean the kind with A-1 sauce!!" TV: "Eeek." E1 storms out. Vachon glares at LaCroix.. JV: "Thank you sooo much, LaCroix! You ratted me out, and now we have to write essays!" (stomps his foot) LC: "Calm down, my dear Spaniard. The Enforcer said 'essay'. He did not insinuate that he requires more than one, nor did he specify length." JV: "Woo-hoo!" NL: "Well, how do we decide who has to write the essay?" Silence. NK: "Um...how about the oldest of us has to?" LC: "I think not. The essay was only requested because Vachon stole that scroll. It was his fault, therefore it's his responsibility." JV: "The scroll! I almost forgot about it!" Vachon retrieves the scroll, opens it and reads silently. Everyone holds their breath in anticipation. JV: (surprised) "It's a note from the author! It says: 'Dear friends, I'm grateful to you all for taking part in my story. Since I'm a newbie at this, I'm not quite sure what to do with you yet, so please bear with me. If you're having trouble deciding about the essay, try a game of Charades. First one to stump the rest picks the person to write the essay. I that doesn't work, I'll think of some- thing. Have fun! And by the way, Vachon, I love your glow-in-the-dark fang boxers. Your friend and fan, Morgaine." The group seems puzzled. The name is familiar. NL: "Who's Morgaine? What's her affiliation?" NK: "She's a Cousin of the Knight, a Celtic Glow- Worm and a Nick&NatPacker, with various tendencies." NL: "How do you know that?" NK: "Umm...she talks to the TV." NL: "Oh." TV: "Goody, Charades! I get to go first! Ok, this one is an animal." Tracey moves to the center of the chair circle. She hunches over and hops around, swinging her arms and grunting. Vachon giggles, while LaCroix looks quite alarmed. NL: (smiles) "Trace, is it your mother?" TV: (stops) "Hey! Well, at least I'm not involved with one of the undead!" NL: "Yes you are." TV: "Oh yeah, kewl...no, it's not my mother." Tracey resumes her Charade. LC: "Reminds me of Mr. Shakespeare while in one of his moods. (smiles) Nicholas, to this day I am convinced that he had you in mind while writing "Hamlet". Both such downers...Nicholas? Nicholas?" LaCroix looks at Nick, who is staring blankly into space. Tracey, no longer the center of attention, sits down. The others seem concerned about Nick, but LaCroix realizes immediately what's going on. Nick is having a flashback. NL: (waves her hand in front of his face) "Nick? Nick, are you okay?" LC: "I assure you, Doctor, that Nicholas is perfectly fine." (smiles wickedly) "Friends, I propose a new solution to our little dilemma. All those who do not wish to write the essay, raise your hands." Everyone raises a hand except Nick, who is still oblivious and engrossed in his flashback. LC: (pleased with himself) "How kind of you to volunteer, Nicholas." JV: (laughs) "Cold, LaCroix, very cold. It seems Morgaine works in mysterious ways." Nick suddenly snaps back to alertness. NK: (disoriented) "Huh? What happened?" LC: (smiles) "You just graciously volunteered to write the essay, Nicholas." (feigning sur- prise) "What? You did not mean to? Oh, well...done is done." NK: (sees everyone retracting their hands and realizes what happened) "That's low, LaCroix. Even for you." (pouts) LC: "Perhaps. But at least we need no longer play that ridiculous game." TV: "But no one guessed what I was yet!" No one is listening to her. JV: "So what do we do now?" LaCroix gets up and heads toward the bar. LC: "Would anyone care for a drink?" Everyone nods and follows. They all sit at the bar and give their orders. LaCroix begins to pass out the drinks. LC: "Nicholas, your usual cow blood." (shudders) "doctor, coffee. Vachon, Bloody Mary with extra blood." (shakes his head in confusion) "Detective Vetter, chocolate milk with two straws." TV: "Goody!" LaCroix picks up a bottle and uses it to fill five wine glasses. He passes them out. LC: "But first, I insist you all try this. It's new, and it has proved useful in fooling any meddling health inspectors." The liquid is dark red and thick. Tracey and Nat look disgusted. NL: (gestures to Tracey) "We don't *do* blood." LC: (laughs) "It's a sort of blood substitiute, Doctor, I keep a few bottles in stock. It's called Ribena, and I assure you, it's perfectly safe, and rather nice." (raises his glass) "A toast, to new friends." (drinks) The others each take a nervous sip. JV: "Hey, it's good!" NK: "Not bad." TV: "Hmm...sweet!" NL: "Strange, but I think I like it." JV: (laughs) "This is probably the first time all of us have agreed on something. Funny, how a simple drink can bring five totally different people together." The others nod in agreement, and smile at eachother. It's a Kodack moment. TV: "Okay, enough of that." (puts glass down) Tracey picks up her chocolate milk and puts the ends of both straws into her mouth. She begins to blow bubbles in the milk. Everyone stares at her. TV: "What?" Act III A few hours later. Everyone is sitting in the circle of chairs. It's silent, except for the occasional rustling of paper. Nick is working on the essay. LaCroix is engrossed in a book titled "Problem Children: A Parent's Guide of Do's and Don'ts". Natalie is flipping through episode scripts she borrowed from Nick. Vachon is passed out in his chair, emitting an occasional snore. Tracey is reading a comic book, or at least looking at the pictures. Nick rolls his eyes, apparently exasperated with the essay. He glances over at Nat and smiles, thinking. LC: (without looking up) "Nicholas, if you are so curious as to what the good doctor looks like naked, why don't you simply ask her?" Nat's head snaps up, her face a mixture of embarassment and surprise. Nick turns to LaCroix and glares at him angrily. NK: "Stay out of my head!" LC: (laughs, unphased) "Doctor, if you are as modest a woman as you seem to be, you should be grateful that you cannot hear his thoughts as I do." NK: "You're humiliating me even more than usual tonight, LaCroix. What's the occasion? Revenge? For what? Fleur? My attempts to kill you? The Kool-Aid? The time I booked the Spice Girls as entertainment for the Raven?" LC: (shudders at the memory of the Spice Girls, then frowns) "You forgot the time when you enrolled me in the Hair Club for Men." Nat manages to stifle her giggles. Tracey, however, bursts into hysterical laughter. LaCroix gives her a LOOK, and she falls silent. NL: "LaCroix, may I ask you a few questions?" LC: "Of course, Doctor." (seems amused) NL: "Well, I've been reading some of Nick's scripts... in 'False Witness', Nick asked you if you didn't have a soul and you said '*We* do not.' Do you remember saying that?" LC: (puzzled) "Yes, I do." NL: "In the next episode, 'Cherry Blossoms', you told Nick that he couldn't go back to being mortal because his desires were in his soul. Correct?" LC: (impatiently) "Where is all this going, Doctor? What is your point?" NL: "Did you say that?" LC: (pause) "Yes, I did." NL: "Well, you obviously contradicted yourself. Hmm.. faulty memory...sounds like a symptom of senility. Could old age be setting in, LaCroix?" Nick looks on in shocked silence; he can't believe she would dare. NL: "Well, LaCroix? Would you care to explain your- self?" LC: (annoyed, flashes a menacing look) "I agreed to answer a *few* questions, Doctor. Who do you think you are, the Spanish Inquisition?" NK: (alarmed) "the Spanish Inquisition? Where?" Frightened, Nick hides under his chair. LC: (soothingly) "It's all right, Nicholas, the Spanish Inquistion is not here." Nick pokes his head out from under the chair. NK: (fearful) "Are you sure?" LC: "Yes, I am sure." Relieved, Nick resumes his seat in his chair and begins to work on the essay again. Nat looks at LaCroix, baffled. NL: "The Spanish Inquistion?" LC: "Nicholas, do you have the 'Sons of Belial' script?" NK: "Yeah." (pulls it out) LC: "Give it to Doctor Lambert." (to Nat) "That should explain Nicholas's reaction to the mention of the Spanish Inquisition." Nat takes the script and leafs through it. After a few minutes she nods and hands it back to Nick. She looks at LaCroix in surprise. NL: "Wow! It's amazing how much I miss during Nick's flashbacks." LC: "You understand now, Doctor?" NL: "Yes, I do. I mean, I assumed you and Nick had encountered some religious fanatics, but I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." Off-camera (o.c.) a yell is heard from the front room: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Nick, Nat, LaCroix and Tracy look up, confused. E1: (o.c.) "Who the hell are you? What do you want?" SIC: (o.c.) "We are the Spanish Inquisition! We want but one thing - to find enemies of the Church and destroy them...two things! We want to find enemies of the Church and destroy them and make a successful crossover...three things!" E1: (o.c.) "Hey, partner! Would you escort the Spanish Inquisition off the premises?" Off camera, footsteps and protests are heard, followed by the sound of a door slamming. Then all is silent. NL: "Okay...that was creepy." LC: (shakes his head) "This *Morgaine* must be a Monty Python fan." (Author's Note: Damn right.) Act IV A few hours later. Vachon wakes up and stretches. TV: "Oh goody - you're awake!" (to LaCroix) "Mister... um...Nightcrawler, can Vachon and I play with your radio station gadgets?" LC: (sighs) "Very well. But do be careful." TV: "Woo-hoo!" Tracey runs off gleefully. Vachon shrugs and follows her. NL: "Are you sure you can trust them around your equipment, LaCroix?" LC: "Hopefully Vachon will keep Detective Vetter out of trouble. Besides, it's more peaceful in here with them gone." NL: "Still working on the essay, Nick?" NK: "Yeah, though it's not really coming out like an essay. It's tough trying to speak for everyone." NL: "Don't worry. We trust you." Suddenly, a loud crash is heard off-camera. LaCroix rolls his eyes and slowly, calmly heads toward his little radio broadcasting-room. NL: "Nick, as weird as it sounds, LaCroix is actually being kinda...*nice* today." NK: (nods) "Maybe the Ribena's gone bad." (smiles) "Or maybe the Kool-Aid did him some good." Nick and Nat laugh. LaCroix returns and takes his seat. NK: "Anytihng broken?" LC: "Fortunately not. I believe Vachon and Miss Vetter will be rejoining us soon." LaCroix picks up his book and opens it. Nat glances at the cover and smiles. NL: "Getting any good advice?" LC: "Hardly. All this book seems to do is question my methods. Apparently, killing your child's friends as a form of punishment is discouraged." Nick rolls his eyes. NL: "Have you two ever considered family counseling? With a psychiatrist?" Nick and LaCroix glance at each other. NK: "We tried that once, Nat. It...didn't work." NL: "Didn't work? Why not?" NK: "Well, Dr. Freud started blaming LaCroix for our problems, and it was all I could do to keep LaCroix from killing him." NL: (eyes widen) "*Sigmund* Freud?" Nick nods. LaCroix rolls his eyes at the memory. LC: "He was a mortal, what did he know?" NL: "Unbelievable..." A few moments later, Vachon and Tracey come in, looking sheepish. They take their seats. JV: "Not much longer now, guys." NL: "Yeah, well, as much fun as this has been, I'll be glad to get out of here. I have a lot of work to do at the morgue." NK: "And I have reports to write." TV: "And I have cartoons to watch." LC: "And I do have a club to open. As well as a radio show to do. I believe the Enforcers will conclude this little charade just in the nick of time." Nick's head snaps up. He pulls out yet another script and opens it. NK: "I just remembered!" (looks at LaCroix) "You did call me Nick once,I mean, other than that time when you were talking to Schanke..." (hands him the "Dark Knight: The Second Chapter" script) LC: (rolls his eyes) "Nicholas, I believe that, just prior to that incident, you had impaled me on a steel spike. I was not in the most healthy state of mind." (throws script) "And you will stop carrying these things around! I don't care how useful they are!" NK: "Would you rather I simply have a flashback for every reference to a previous episode? At least everyone can see the scripts..." Nat looks around at her fellow prisoners, and it suddenly dawns on her... NL: "This is a lot like that "Breakfast Club" movie!" LC: (looks at Nick) "Well, it's obvious who the basket case is." NK: "Ha ha. Very funny." Nick returns to his essay, Nat to the scripts, and LaCroix to his book. Vachon and Tracey, at Tracey's insistence, resume the game of Charades. Act V sunset The Enforcers enter, and everyone stands. E1: "Is the essay done?" Nick nods, and places the paper on a table. E1: "Good. Well, friends, the sun is nearly set. You're all free to go. Thank you for your cooperation." The group turns to face eachother. JV: "This wasn't really so bad." NL: "Yeah, it was almost...fun." LC: (smiles) "It's rare to have so many opportunities to embarass Nicholas in one day. We must do this again sometime." Group looks at one another. Silent for a moment. Whole group: "Nah." TV: (grabs Vachon and pulls him towards the exit) "C'mon, Vachon, we're missing cartoons!" JV: "Would somebody shoot me? Please?" LC: "I would, but I doubt it would improve your current situation." Vachon and Tracey exit. NK: "Take you home, Nat?" NL: "Sure." (begins to leave) NK: "Be right there." (turns to LaCroix) "I *will* get you back for the blankie story." LaCroix simply smiles. Nick and Nat leave. LaCroix turns to the Enforcers. LC: (coldly) "I am going out. I expect you two to be gone by the time I return." E2: "No problem. We'll just grab the essay and be on our way." LC: "For your sake, you'd better." LaCroix disappears with a "whoosh". E2: (to E1) "You coming?" E1: "I'll get the essay and follow you." E2 exits. E1 picks up the essay and read silently. Nick's voice is again heard from off-camera, reciting the "essay". NK: "Dear Enforcers, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Sunday incarcerated for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. I mean, you see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a guilt-ridden person who detests himself..." LC's Voice: "...and a cold, manipulative control freak..." JV's Voice: "...and a human-sympathizer in leather..." TV's Voice: "...an annoying, curious blond..." NL's Voice: "...and a meddling doctor." NK's Voice: "Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Ribena Club." THE END Praise, criticisms, questions and 10-Q forms to: Morgaine at morgaine@worldnet.att.et