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  Comments, questions, and feedback on this story can be sent
  to webmistress@fkfanfic.com, where they will be forwarded on
  to the author.  Thank you.

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"Setback"
A Forever Knight short
by Cagey
January 1996

Legalese:  the Forever Knight characters do not belong to me, 
but no copyright infringement is intended.  The story is mine, 
however, so please do not repost or reprint without permission.

Other fiction by Cagey may be found at
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/1263/

"Setback" (takes place immediately following "My Boyfriend is a 
Vampire)
 

Setback

 
Natalie sat in the dim light of her apartment, watching the last  
flickering rays of sunlight slide below the horizon of her  
window, and thought about being alone.  There were many  
fears to be faced in this mortal realm.  In the still of the near- 
dark she catalogued them as easily as she might the parts of the  
human form which passed through her domain each night. 
 
Death.  She saw death everyday--death in its most macabre,  
gruesome forms.  She saw death both with a practiced,  
professional eye, and with the poignant understanding of a  
fellow human being.  Death held no mysteries for her.   
 
The loss of loved ones.  She'd learned that lesson the hard way.   
Her brother's death had taught her that there were far worse  
things than living without a loved one.  Seeing Richard losing  
himself, changing into a monster--not a vampire, but an evil  
creature who could see no difference between right and  
wrong--right before her eyes, at her own instigation, was far  
worse than losing his physical presence.  Her memories of her  
brother would forever be tinged with that sadness, but that too  
she had faced. 
 
But loneliness.  What a strange, implacable foe was loneliness.   
A persistent, gnawing ache that lived inside one's soul.  It  
seemed, she thought, that she had lived with it for an eternity-- 
and she had to laugh at the word.  Nick's entrance in her life  
had taught her so many new lessons.  That an eternity could be  
even longer than she had imagined.  That the torment of  
loneliness was made only sharper, more clearly defined, by  
finding someone who could dim that ache, but who could not,  
would not do so.  To look into Nick's gentle face each day was  
sweet torment, made only more painful by seeing the same  
longing in his eyes, but playing the familiar game of banter and  
friendship to keep it at bay. 
 
Her eyes moved to the bouquet of flowers lying on the table in  
front of her.  The last light of dusk caressed their gaily-colored  
petals as gentle as the touch of a lover, and for an insane  
moment she felt jealous of them.  The unopened card lay next to  
them.  She did not need to open it.  She knew what the flowers  
stood for, what the card said.  An apology.  A plea for  
understanding.  A promise.   
 
Loneliness was a fearsome foe, and a wily one as well.  How  
easily she had let it overcome her, let it seduce her into doing its  
bidding like some poor innocent in the thrall of a vampire's  
eyes.  She had almost pushed Nick away completely.  For what?   
To hear him say a few comforting words?  "What do you want  
me to say?" he'd shouted in the precinct room.  And she realized  
what a fool she had been.  She had tried to push him outside  
their self-imposed boundaries.  Those walls crumbled a little  
every day, night by night, but they would have to fall at their  
own slow pace.  She could no more force away the reservations  
which Nick had spent centuries building, than she could make  
the sun stay below the horizon when it came time for the dawn.   
 
And so she willed the weariness away.  She gathered her  
strength, her hope, her patience, her desire.  He had faced many  
setbacks, and yet he was still here.  They had faced many  
setbacks together, and yet he stayed.  She was damned if she  
would let her own setback drive them apart.  She picked up the  
flowers and their card, almost invisible in the now-dark of her  
apartment.  The sweet floral essence lingered in the air long  
after she had departed.


*end*