Date:         Fri, 7 Apr 1995 19:44:53 -0700

Stay, We Must Not Lose Our Senses 
by James Walkswithwind

Ok, I should maybe list the references.. Pirates of Penzance, Hitchiker's
Guide to the Galaxy, Pam Rush's PotM story, Lethal Weapon I, Dallas, ET.
This is in response to Laurie's challenge- what if they knew?  And partly
because darkangel complained I wasn't being silly enough.

***************^^^^^^^^^^^^^^########8&&&&&&&&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!

        Nick sat behind the wheel for a moment.  He didn't want to go
inside, he wanted to go home and curl up in bed, with the sheets pulled
over his head.  He wanted to turn off all the lights and pretend he
wasn't home; he wanted to close his eyes and make it go away.
        He was 806.  (Reckoning by his natal day).  He'd spoken to Nat
about it last week, trying to convince her he didn't want to observe it-
he felt old, and he felt ridiculous celebrating a birthday.  After all,
after the first 200 or so birthdays you start running out of novel ways
to observe it.  And when one had been alive for centuries, it got to
where even noticing that a single year had gone by was difficult- if not
labourious.  He'd offered to celebrate his half century birthdays, but
Nat had told him she didn't want to wait 44 more years.
        She'd made a snide remark about being mortal, which had prompted
a huge ugly pillow fight.  But she'd promised to keep her plans low-key.
But Nick had seen the happy gleam in her eye, and now he was too paranoid
to go inside.  She might be there, waiting.. laying an ambush for him..
he wished he could convince her that after 700 or so, one felt a bit too
dignified to wear silly hats and blow up balloons.
        But he had a feeling if he tried telling her that, she'd laugh
herself sick.  He sighed, and climbed out of the car.  He'd have to go in
eventually, else the Captain would have him by the throat.  Maybe he
could sneak in and sneak out...surely there was someone out there being
killed.  Someplace.
        He walked in to the precinct, shoulders tense.  So far so good..
he rounded the corner and stopped.  There were streamers.  There were
balloons.  There was a punch bowl, a large cake, and wrapped boxes.
There was Nat.  He fixed her with a glare.
        She shrugged.  "Hey, Schanke planned it.  All I did was get you a
present.. low-key.  I told you.." She grinned.
        Nick sighed, and shook his head.  He was startled by a glass
someone pressed into his hand, and he distinctly heard someone say, 'pour
o pour the vampire sherry fill o fill the vampire glass'.  He shook his
head and the flashback- for that's what it must have been, cleared.  He
glanced down at the glass in his hand.
        Schanke clapped him on the shoulder.  "One of Janette's best
bottles.  She wouldn't tell me, but if it's the best it's gotta be
Polish.  Ya know what I mean?"
        "I'm sure.."  Nick mumbled, his eyes glazing over.  Everyone
around him was drinking some clear white liquid, or maybe it was yellow.
He sipped the blood, and realised it was indeed one of the best
vintages.  He smiled, and Schanke's face broke out into relief.
        "I wasn't sure, but hey I figure Janette would know her stuff.
Hey, come on! You gotta open your presents!"
        Nick let Schanke drag him over to his desk, which was strewn with
festive packages.  He felt a moment of dread, and then took another
swallow of blood.  It looked like he'd simply have to endure..
        "Open this one first!"  Someone handed him a package.  He gave
them all a grin, and decided he'd better enjoy himself.  Nothing worse
than a birthday party planner scorned.
        He perched himself on the edge of the desk and ripped the paper.
Inside he found a large Thermos, marked with a red cross.  He looked at
it for a moment, then grinned.  Schanke said, "Now you can stop
complaining when we're on stake-out.  You can bring some with you, keep
it warm.. just don't spill any in my car, ok? Or you pay the cleaning bills."
        Nick nodded, and set the Thermos aside.  Nat handed him another
package, and told him it was from Vice.  He held it away from himself,
and asked her, "Do I really want to open it?"
        "Go on!"  Her delighted tone told him he might regret having
finally made friends with the notorious pranksters in Vice.  He carefully
opened the package, and peeked inside.  He blinked, then hung his head.
When the others encouraged him to show them, he pulled out a pair of green
wax fangs.
        "Try 'em on!"  Marilyn called out.  Nick flashed his own at her,
and set the wax ones carefully out of sight.  He shuddered to think what
Janette would say.. or how long she'd laugh at him.
        He let Nat and Schanke hand him more gifts, and he unwrapped a
pair of Vampire Blueblockers (formerly Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril
Sensitive Sunglasses) which were totally black, a tshirt with Darkwing Duck
on it, a pair of moose slippers (or possibly caribou), and a lapel button
which said 'Pardon Me While I Have A Flashback'.  Finally he'd made his way
through all the silliness, and let his co-workers and friends get on with
eating cake (white with a rasberry jelly filling.. it bled when sliced) and
drinking cranberry and grape juice punch.  They traded embarrassing
stories about covering for Nick in front of the press, fielding questions
like 'How did the arresting officer arrive on the scene so fast?'-
competing for the best cover story.
        The best one so far, that Schanke heard and repeated to Nick
(although he pretended he wasn't listening) concerned a small bicycle and
a muppet.  Nick settled in after mingling just enough to get Nat off his back,
and listened in on various conversations.  He did smile at the rookie who
grinned nervously and asked him the same question everyone asked. How did
they hunt nowadays? He gave his standard reply, "With cat-like tread."
        Finally Cohen called a halt to the festivities, reminding them
they had work to do, and the contract with the city's criminals had only
extended to a two hour party.  (They'd promised not to get into any
trouble, Nick had procured a promise from the vampire community that no
one would scarf down anyone who normally deserved it, for the night.)
Everyone slowly drifted off to their jobs, giving Nick final happy 806s
and wishing him the best.  Nick thanked them and tried not to show his
relief until it was only he, Nat and Schanke.
        Then he glared at them both.  "I though I said I didn't want a party."
        Schanke shrugged.  "Yeah, so.. we ignored you.  You ignore us
often enough.."
        "Not on purpose!"  Nick started following Schanke, as they headed
out to the streets to catch bad guys.  "I told you-"
        "Yeah, yeah.. I think you're just using it as an excuse.  Don't
think I dont know you can control those things.  Lacroix told me-"
        "Yeah, and you know you can't believe everything he says.
Remember what he said about those stocks?"
        Schanke grimaced.  "Remind me never to ask a Roman soldier for
financial advice."
        Nick just laughed.  "I tried to tell you, before.  But oh no.."
        Nick and Schanke headed out, gving each other a hard time and
generally ragging on each other.  Then the image faded and changed, and a
young woman sat up in bed.
        Her husband came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and asked,
"Pam? Everything all right?"
        Pam Ewing slowly nodded, and smiled.

the end


James Walkswithwind            "As a man in a sexual union with his beloved
gila@jbx.com                       is unaware of anything outside or inside
                  so a man in union with Self knows nothing, wants nothing"
                                              -The Upanishads