Challenge:  Sticks and Stones (01/02)
By Tyra Mitchell and LeAnn Condren

First off, this story has sexual connotations but no explicit scenes.  I would
rate it PG-13 if it were a movie.

Well, here is our contribution to the celebration of our beloved LaCroix's
cross-over.  LeAnn and I (Hi, this is Tyra!) worked on this little piece
together.  I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I was when several  lines
of dialogue for the characters flew from her computer into mine.  We are sorry
it is late, but real life got in the way of our best intentions.  Please send
chocolate and nice words to LeAnn and flames (and chocolate!) to me.  One last
word of warning, we both belong to the NNPack, so they are in our little
story.  Hope y'all enjoy!

Disclaimers:  We do not mean to infringe on the copyrights of the owners of
the characters of Forever Knight or Frasier.  We only wish to play with them.
We will return them in APPROXIMATELY the same shape in which we found them.
All radio personalities used in the following story are fictional.  The book
"The Art of Arousal" is available through your local bookstore or Amazon.com.
Neither of us actually own a copy, so this story does not imply an endorsement
of the book's content.  Deep breath, on with the story

Permission granted to archive at the fanfic site.  Anyone else please just
ask, we can be bribed with chocolates.

Challenge:  Sticks and Stones (01/02)
By Tyra Mitchell and LeAnn Condren

The start of Summer, 1998

     Lucien LaCroix, the Nightcrawler, was on the phone talking to his agent
about syndicating his radio show into the major US markets.  It was a big
decision, even for a man almost 2,000 years old.  It was a bit of a risk
taking his persona national, but the thought of all those psyches available
for shredding greatly excited him.  His fan club was up and running and could
easily branch out into America.  Yes, he decided the Nightcrawler was going
into syndication.  He began to wonder if his fan club should set up an
American branch or if it would be better to run everything through the Toronto
office.

August 1998

     The summer flew by for LaCroix.  His show was a hit in the US.  He was
amazed that the Americans he dissected were even more demented than his
original Toronto audience was.  It also seemed that they had more sexually
oriented problems.  Some of which even made him blush, before he hit the
disconnect button.  All and all, he did not think things could get much better
for him.  Even Nick was less angst ridden than usual, LaCroix assumed that it
had something to do about a trip with Natalie.  He overheard his son talking
to Vachon about needing to get out of town the end of August.  LaCroix had
smiled; Nick obviously did not know what to do for his anniversary this year.
For a change, LaCroix was looking forward to his vampire birth anniversary.
He planned to spend it alone, curled up with his fan mail and computer.  He
had found a mailing list on the internet devoted to sexually explicit stories
about him written by fans.  They held his interest quite well.

August 23, 1998 - The Raven

     LaCroix relaxed in his office at the Raven.  He had received a package
from his agent earlier that evening and was anxious to find out its contents.
He opened the box.  The note inside indicated that the enclosed tapes were of
his competition's shows.  His agent also enclosed information on each of his
three main competitors.  The first was a Dr. Thelma who specialized in
relationship counseling, particularly between adult children and their
parents.  LaCroix winced when he thought about him and Nick attending
counseling sessions together.  He moved on to the bio about Dr. Frasier Crane
whose show was out of Seattle.  Frasier's bio, LaCroix noted, waxed poetically
about his achievements in the field, where he studied, and what he had written
but spoke little of his accomplishments as a man.  LaCroix noted that he
looked like a pansy and probably, he thought, had one of those, everyone loves
everyone else shows.  Lastly, LaCroix read about the sex therapist that his
show competed directly with in the Atlanta area.  Her name was Dr. Ruby and
she talked very bluntly and openly about sex, to anyone that would listen.
She had written many books on ever aspect of the topic.  LaCroix wondered what
Dr. Ruby's husband thought about her graphic language and topics.  LaCroix
popped the first tape into his player.  From there, the night went down hill.

Same night, Natalie's apartment:

     "You ready?"  Nick walked into Nat's apartment and surveyed the luggage
that was by the door.  Natalie kissed Nick on the cheek and handed him yet
another bag.
     "Nick, tell me again why we are going to the Bahamas?"
     Nick kissed her hand and said, "because you will look beautiful walking
on the beach with the moonlight shinning in your hair."  Nick kissed Natalie's
hand again hoping she would accept his explanation.  He continued, changing
the subject quickly, "Do you need this many bags?  We're only going to be gone
a week."
     "Yes, I need all the bags."  She took Nick's face in her hands and made
him look at her.  "The moonlight stuff is a line, and you know it.  Why are we
really going?  Nick?"
     Nick shrugged his shoulders, put his arms around Nat and stroked her
cheek with his fingers.  "I'll tell you only if you promise that you won't
change your mind about going with me?  I am looking forward to the moonlight,
regardless."
     "Ok, I promise.  I am going with you to the Bahamas regardless of what
you say, and I am looking forward to walking on the beach too.  Now out with
it."
     "The moonlight will be "
     "Nick, if you don't tell me and tell me now, I am not going to go!"
     "Ok, It's LaCroix's anniversary of his crossover, well tomorrow is and I
don't want to be in town.  I have run out of ideas for presents and ways to
help him celebrate, so I decided the best idea was to get the heck out of
town."
     "But why the Bahamas?"
     "Too much sun, he hates it.  No chance he'd follow me, us that is."
     "So, we are only going on vacation because of YOUR need for self-
preservation?"
     "No, no, no.  It's not like that at all.  I really do want to go away
with you, Nat.  And I really do want to walk on the beach with you.  I
promise "
     "We'll see."  Nat pulled his lips to hers, kissed him and then handed him
yet another bag.  "Come on, we better get going before LaCroix catches on to
your plan."

Back at the Raven

     LaCroix started the tape of the 'Dr. Thelma' radio show.  When she
commented on the Nigthcrawler's need to work on his relationships with people,
especially any children he might have, he ripped the tape out of the player
and threw it across the room.  Insolent woman, he thought, what does she know.
Next, he inserted the tape of 'Dr. Frasier Crane's' show and pressed play.  He
listened for a while and decided that Frasier's show was a bunch of
unnecessary babble and that he was much, much too sensitive.  As LaCroix
reached for the stop button, it happened; one of the callers mentioned the
Nightcrawler.  He listened with increasing anger as Frasier began to dissect
his radio personality.
     "The man is obviously delusional and has absolutely no grasp on what a
real life is.  Yes, the Nightcrawler in my learned opinion is a man in
desperate need of attention.  Attention that he gets by bullying his
listeners.  He is the worst sort of talk radio personality there is.  All hot
air, no substance."
     LaCroix could barely contain his rage.  "Who does this, overly-sensitive,
sissy think he is?"  LaCroix whispered to himself as Frasier's verbal attack
continued.
     "I don't think we should waste any more precious air time talking about
the redundant babble of a man who obviously has an inferiority complex, which
drives his need to belittle others.  Next caller."
     LaCroix reached for the tape and destroyed it and the tape player in a
matter of seconds.  "Inferiority complex, we will see who is inferior.  This
mortal needs to be taught a lesson."  LaCroix reached for the phone and called
his travel agent.  Before the night was over, he would be on his way to
Seattle to deal with the tiny, little man that dared to call him delusional.
Tomorrow he would celebrate his anniversary in the old way.  He grabbed the
last tape of the Dr. Ruby show and headed to his private quarters to pack.

At the Airport

     Natalie and Nick had checked their luggage in and were making their way
to their gate when Nick felt the presence of his master.  Nick stopped dead in
his tracks and pulled Natalie into the nearest alcove, the men's room.
     "NICK!  Let go, what are we doing in here!"
     Several men, who were trying to use the facilities, stared intensely at
her.  It dawned on her that they were probably trying to figure out if she was
a woman or not.  There had been an unprecedented influx of cross-dresser into
Toronto lately.
     "Nat."  Nick looked around and realized, finally, where he had pulled
Nat.  He quickly pulled her to his chest, covering her eyes.  "Nat, I'm sorry,
I felt LaCroix's presence."
     "Well, couldn't you feel his presence somewhere else!  Nick, NICK.. I
can't breathe "
      Nick loosened his grip on Nat's head and placed his hand over her eyes.
"Nick, I'm sure there is nothing here I haven't seen before."
     "Cadavers are different from live men, Nat."
     "Nick, I've seen live men too."
     Nick let his hand fall from Nat's eyes, a look of bewilderment crossing
his face.  He had never considered that Natalie had
     "Wow, have to admit I haven't seen one quite like that."
     Nick turned to see the object of Nat's comment.  No one was standing
there.  "This is actually my first time in a men's room.  They are different.
Want to go see the women's room now, I would hate for you to feel left out,
but you might get arrested."
     "Nat, this is serious."
     "Nick, I know, I'm standing in the men's room and our plane has started
to board.  Now, I am going to leave and go to our boarding gate.  You can
either stay here and hide or you can go with me."
     Nick eyed the door, worried that a very angry LaCroix was on the other
side.  He could feel the rage coming from his master.  It was not contained or
controlled.  This was one night he did not want to cross his path.  "Natalie,
why don't you.."
     "Did I tell you that I neglected to pack a swim suite for our moonlit
swim in the ocean?"  Nick turned to face Nat and saw the look in her eyes.  He
quickly made up his mind.  He took Nat by the arm and guided her out of the
men's room to the hoots and hollers of all present.
      "Hurry, maybe we'll miss him."  At that very moment, LaCroix flew by Nat
and Nick on his way to board his flight to Seattle.  He did not stop to say
hello.
     "Nick, was that "
     "Yes, guess it's not me he's after."  Nick relaxed noticeably.  "Now,
about that moonlit swim ."

Flight 105 to Seattle

     LaCroix settled into his first class seat and put the tape of Dr. Ruby's
show in his portable tape player.  The headphones were uncomfortable but
necessary.  He started the tape.  It did not take long before he heard his
name mentioned.  He reached for the flask in his jacket and took a long drink.
     "Yes, now, this Mr. Nightcrawler appears to be suffering from the affects
of a repressed sexuality.  Often when a person denies himself pleasure, he
wants to deny other's of it as well.  One has to wonder what kind of lover
this man is.  His attacks on his listeners are quite violent and I wonder if
this violent nature is a part of his private life as well.  If the
Nightcrawler is listening, please, call me.  I am here to help.  And now a
caller from Atlanta."
   LaCroix pulled the headphones off.  He downed the contents of his flask and
groaned.  The plane ride to Seattle would be a long one.

Seattle, Early AM of August 24

     LaCroix's plane landed on time.  He arrived at his hotel and checked in
just before dawn.  He was grateful for the sleep that washed over him.  His
dreams were haunted with the words of the three radio shows.  He awoke in a
sweat with a powerful thirst, more powerful than he could remember in years.
     He waited until Frasier's show was on the air and took flight from the
balcony of his room.  It did not take him long to find the radio station.  He
nearly ripped the door from its hinges as he entered the lobby.  He stopped
the first person he encountered and quickly inquired as to Frasier's
whereabouts.  The hunt was afoot.
     LaCroix did not bother to control his anger as he entered.  The vampire
had fully emerged and he growled at the blonde man in front of him.
     "Oh, my, and people call me pasty.."  Niles stammered.
     LaCroix crossed to the desk where the man was standing.  "FRASIER!  I am
the Nightcrawler, prepare to die."
      "What!! I am  I am.."  Niles dove for the right side of the desk as
LaCroix came around the left.  LaCroix was playing with his prey.  He enjoyed
the fear that was building in the man's body.  "Ah, the good old days," he
whispered.
     "Good old days!  I am not through with the current new days " Niles
continued to run around the desk with LaCroix in hot pursuit.  "Say old chap,
could we not discuss this over a couple of mocha lattes?"
     LaCroix laughed and in one fell swoop pinned Niles to the wall and sunk
his fangs into his neck.  As LaCroix drained the life from Niles' body,
Frasier entered the room.
     "What is going on here!"
     LaCroix let the lifeless body drop to the floor.  He licked his lips and
looked directly at Frasier.
     "You must be the dear Dr. Crane.  I am Lucien LaCroix, the Nightcrawler,
and I am going to kill you."
     "Well I never!  This is a civilized society.  We might as well return to
the times of barbarians if one cannot handle constructive criticism."
     "I am an immortal vampire.  I do not have to handle constructive
criticism from a mere mortal.  I was a General 1,000s of years before you were
born.  I have led armies of men and I have seen more of life than your pitiful
existence can imagine."
     "You're a vampire?  Well, now that is just a little unfair."
     "Life is not fair, Dr. Crane.  And you are about to find out how unfair
it is."  LaCroix flew across the room and grabbed Frasier from behind.  He
pulled Frasier's head to one side and sank his fangs into his neck.
     "Of all the days to wear white " the words tumbled out of the Doctor's
near lifeless body.  His last thoughts were of his fans, "what will my loyal
listeners ever do without me?"  The doctor would never know the answer.
     LaCroix savored the blood as it seeped through his body.  He had
forgotten how sweet it was to kill out of revenge in the heat of the moment,
the passion filling your body.  For a moment, he felt like the General he was
when Divia had brought him across.  This anniversary he would remember for a
long time to come.
     He quickly disposed of the bodies and walked the streets of Seattle.  He
stopped in a bookstore to purchase reading material for the return trip to
Toronto.  He picked up a copy of the "Odyssey" and headed for the check out.
He saw the sign as he approached the register.  It announced a book signing by
Dr. Ruby Eastheimer.  She was autographing her new book, "The Art of Arousal."
LaCroix picked up a copy and read the review on the back.  "Dr. Ruby's latest
book traces the course of a sensual relationship form it flirtatious
beginnings to its consummation and blissful exhaustion."  It made LaCroix
think.  How long had it been since he was 'blissfully' exhausted?  Since he
had enjoyed a woman in all the possible ways.  He found himself drifting
toward the table where Dr. Ruby was signing copies of her book.
     Her voice startled him out of his thoughts, "Who should I make this out
to?"
     LaCroix paused and considered his answer.  "The Nightcrawler will be
fine."
     Dr. Ruby looked up and locked eyes with the man in front of her.  "Are
you the Nighcrawler who has the radio show?"
     LaCroix took Dr. Ruby's hand and kissed it.  "I am pleased to make your
acquaintance dear lady.  I believe you were discussing my repressed sexuality
the other night on your show."
     "Well, now, I was only guessing at the cause of you tormenting your
listeners.  Perhaps, it is something different."  Dr. Ruby signed his book;
her eyes alight with mischief.  "It could be repressed sexuality or maybe you
feel inadequate?  Many men worry about size."  LaCroix let a growl escape his
lips, "Touchy subject I see.  Do you feel that your performance is not rating
five stars lately?  There are several books I can recommend to help you
improve your technique."  LaCroix growled again.  She handed him back the book
along with her card.  "Please, feel free to call me if you want to talk."
     LaCroix tried to act pleasant, but it just was not in his nature.  He
grabbed the book and headed for the cash register.  He passed the book display
on the way and picked up another copy of "The Art of Arousal."  Nick could
probably use some help in the techniques department, he thought.  He did not
want Natalie to think his son inadequate.  He would not have the dear Doctor
Lambert being disappointed by HIS son.

September 1, 1998 - The Raven

     Nick knew he had put off long enough seeing LaCroix.  He had to face the
music sometime.  He entered the Raven and found his father, flirting with a
very beautiful blonde woman.  LaCroix saw Nicholas and ask the blonde woman to
wait one minute while he spoke to him.  He walked over to Nick and put his
hand on Nick's shoulder.
     "Nicholas!  I am so pleased that you have stopped by.  I believe you were
out of town in the Bahamas.  How does the dear Dr. Lambert look in a bathing
suit?"  The surprise showed on Nick's face.  LaCroix had known where Nick had
vacationed and Nick was willing to bet he knew why, too.
     "I wouldn't know, she failed to pack one."  LaCroix smiled, glad that his
son's depression had lifted and amused at Nick's thoughts of Natalie's
swimming attire.  "I'm sorry I missed your anniversary, did you do anything
special?"
     "'I traveled to Seattle and sampled the local cuisine.  And I picked you
up some reading material."  LaCroix motioned for the package behind the bar.
"You can open it after leave.  I hope it brings you as much pleasure as my
copy is bringing me.  Now, if you will excuse me, I believe someone is waiting
for me."  LaCroix walked back to the blonde and asked her to dance.  He held
the woman tight against his body and enjoyed the feel of her skin.  Yes, he
thought, it was much too long since he had properly participated in several
nighttime activities.  Tonight, he would enjoy the blonde and the pleasure she
could offer him, especially the pleasure pictured on page 196 of Dr. Ruby's
book.  He trailed kissed down the women's neck and whispered in her ear about
a moonlit stroll in the park

     Nick ripped the package open as soon as he was outside the Raven.  He
looked at the book in amazement and then read the enclosed card.  In LaCroix's
writing, it said, "My dear Nicholas, may this bring you and your Natalie hours
of pleasure.  Love, Father."  Nick took to the air hoping Natalie was already
home.


The End
Flames and chocolates to: Tyra Mitchell at TyraMitch@aol.com
Chocolates only to: LeAnn Condren at Juliun@aol.com
We will both willing accept gifts of blonde, male vampires