Date: Tue, 7 May 1996 16:48:32 -0500 From: Robbi Egersdorf Okay, guys. Here's my first attempt at FK fanfiction and my first stab at writing since High School, so be generous with your praise and kind in your criticism. I wrote this piece and do continue to write because the FK story has so touched me and opened up a part of me I didn't know existed. I have a very strong need to touch these characters and be a part of their story in more ways than just watching the show or even reading the lists can provided. It's like a hunger that as soon as it is filled, cries for more. I do my writing in the night during the slow periods at work. It seems quite appropriate, don't you think. In writing, I get an idea of how hard the writers on this list work to provide us with the quality stories that are there just for the reading. The only thing they ask in return are praise and virtual gifts. If everyone were so easy to please... I would like to thank Dalton Spence for his generous gift of first and second season episodes ( It's not a complete set. Hint, hint.) and for the background and greater understanding of what FK is that they have given me. Dalton also helped me with info on certain Toronto locations. I would also like to thank my beta readers for their comments in helping to shape this story. Disclaimers: 1) These characters and the FK concept are not mine but were created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen. I have just borrowed them with no intention of making profit or gain. 2) I tried to portray the Native American in my story in a sensitive light. I even requested beta readers with NA background and blood in order to gain their perspective. Please keep in mind that my only intention is to entertain not to offend. Now without further ado, let's proceed to the main attraction. I am excited to share this with you and know it will give you pleasure and enjoyment. Robbi Knightie With Dark Tendencies egersdor@magiclink.com Disclaimers: These characters and the FK concept are not mine. They were created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen. I have just borrowed them. The other characters and situations are mine and I take full responsibility. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 1a by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He jerked awake with a start, glanced at the clock and realized he barely had enough time to prepare for his shift. Disoriented, he looked around and saw that he was still in the chair. The restless, sleepless events of earlier that day began flooding back to his memory. "Wish I had some of that time now." He raced up the stairs for a quick shower and fresh clothes then back down and a quick swig of bottled blood from the fridge. He thought to himself as he rushed into the elevator. Nick was in so much of a hurry he almost forgot to set the security alarm on his way out. It was a good night to drive the caddy with the top down. Maybe the cool night air could clear the cobwebs that still clung in his head. He reached down and switched on the radio to listen to that smooth, seductive voice that was ever so familiar in it's cadence and meter. Lucien Lacroix, his nearly 2000 year old maker who now calling himself the Nightcrawler. Nick had known him as many things in his life from savior to bitter enemy. Right now they were in an uncomfortable truce. Nick knew that Lacroix was always waiting for every little chance to pull him back to the *fold*. Back into the vampire community to embrace his *true nature*, to drink human blood once again as his only form of sustenance, to even kill again. The thought came unbidden, but there it was. Lacroix, his *father* would be ever so happy if he were to slip and it seems lately he had had a few close calls. Sheer *will* was the only thing able to subdue the terrible urges. The drive as strong as life itself. It seemed the more he resisted the vampire in him, the stronger the drives have become. Would he ever win? Would there ever be a release from this horrible living nightmare that was his life. He grow weary of the daily battle. How he wished there were a way to rest, to back away and regain his prospective. It didn't seem there would be any pause in this *war*. Natalie and her good intentions were constantly pulling, reminding him of her promise to help regain his humanity - his soul. Then there was Lacroix, constantly pulling him back to the killing. There were times he felt as if he would explode. Nick didn't know how much longer he will be able to hold this life together before he would have to get out of this tug of war or let it totally destroy him. He had arrived, pulling into the parking lot. Shut off the engine. The vampire took a tentative glance at the sky to make sure no rain threatening clouds had snuck up on him. The sky was clear. A wave of longing hit him so hard, it was difficult to keep from taking to the sky that very second. The desire was strong to soar above his problems, to suspend them for one golden minute, to break free.... With difficulty he tore his eyes from the sky and returned to his reality. He walked nightly, masquerading as a mortal human being with a somewhat rare allergy to the sun. Natalie had come up with that excuse for why Nick had to stay out of the sun. A reason normal humans could believe and accept. Humans who were oblivious to the existence of *Creatures of the Night*. "Nick, your late." Captain Joe Reese greeted him. "Nothing gets past you does it, Cap?" The Captain shot Nick his wiseguy-today-huh look then continued. "We've got a hot one for you. A lady was found dead in her house about an hour ago. I guess there was quite a struggle. Blood everywhere. Here's the address. You better get over there right away. Vetter's already on her way. She left about 15 minutes ago." Nick was looking forward to having the new case to help take his mind off himself. "Nick, you sure look pale. Are you feeling okay?" Reese asked with a look of concern "I just haven't been able to sleep is all. Once I get going, I'll be fine." With that he turned and left the station. Back out into the night - alone. It seemed that no matter what happened, He always end up alone. Lately he hadn't been very good company. He slid back into the comfortable old car and backed out onto the road. The drive took 20 minutes, but it seemed more like 3 hours to him. The sight was a familiar one. Several squad cars with their lights flashing rhythmically. Police lines holding off the curious. He flashed his badge and was admitted to the house. A two story Victorian house that looked rather ordinary on the outside. A wave of human blood smell greeted Nick as he entered. It was streaked onto the walls, ceiling, furnishings and floor. Unbidden his fangs began to lower and the vampire gold started in his eyes. Anywhere; without warning, the hunger could leap into existence and threaten to destroy all of his hard earned resolve and will power. The blood lust was ever present, never satisfied. It waited just under the surface for any number of things to trigger it. Quickly Nick closed his eyes and put his hands to his face and the fatigue from the previous days lack of sleep returned. Unconsciously he began to chant, "There's so much blood, so much blood." Just then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?" It was Tracy on her way out to retrieve more sample cases. "Does this blood bother you? If it does, you shouldn't go in there." She pointed to the back room where a uniformed officer just entered. "This is just decoration compared to back there." He looked up into her face, dropping his hands. All traces of the vampire were gone from his eyes. The hunger was pushed back for now. "I'm all right. I'm just tired." He lied partially, but Tracy accepted it and continued out the front door. Taking a deep breath, he entered the room his partner had indicated. Stunned by the amount of blood that was dripping from the furniture and puddled on the floor, he began to repeat again, "So much blood, there's so much blood." as he moved up behind Natalie. The Coroner was bent over the corpse as it lay in the middle of the room in an awkward, unnatural position. It was evident that the victim had been slashed numerous times by a sharp object of some sort. Without turning around or pausing in her task, Natalie answered, "Your right. There is a lot of blood. A lot more than from this one person." Finishing what she was examining, she stood and turned to face him. She stopped suddenly. "Your so pale, Nick. Are you all right?" "I just couldn't sleep today. That same dream - *nightmare* - that I've been having kept me awake. I still can't remember any of it." After a momentary pause of concern she returned once again to her detached mode and began, "I would say there must be enough blood in this house," surveying the room with her eyes, "for three or four people, though It's hard to estimate blood. It has a tendency to look like there's more then there really is." "We are taking numerous samples so they can be analyzed for blood typing back at the lab. That will tell us if it's from stolen blood or if maybe there are more bloodless bodies out there." end of part 1a The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 1b by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (scene continuous from part 2a) Reese walked into the room, looking about with very large eyes. "I guess they weren't kidding when they said it was a mess. Who would do something like this?" "I guess it's our job to find out," Tracy piped in as she entered the room with an obvious look of distaste on her face. Reese turned and smiled at the statement, but the smile faded quickly. "All right, here's the drill. Tracy, you check all the places that might have been missing blood in the past week or so - hospitals, blood banks, etc. Nick..." He turned to Nick to be sure he was listening and was greeted by a horrified look on the officer's face, "Hey, Nick? Are you going to be okay with this." He snapped his eyes over to Reese and gave him his full attention with obvious effort. "Go on, Cap. I'm listening" "As I was saying, you check around the area for any recent homicides where the bodies have been drained of blood." "We'll get right on it, Cap." Tracy took the pass, walked over to Nick and took his arm. "Come on partner, let's go get started." She figured he would need a hand out as he had resumed that horrified stare. The vampire then began to repeat, "There's so much blood, so much blood." As the room began to spin and he felt his knees buckle. Helpless to hold himself up, the world faded from black to red and it wasn't the blood in the room that he saw, but the endless blood he had partaken of. Stolen blood to feed his constant hunger and keep him alive all these 800 years since his rebirth. All those faces passed before him. All those; whose lives he had cut short, whose promise of life he had snuffed. "So much blood." He heard himself repeat again. The weight of his guilt pressed heavily upon him. Opening his eyes again, they focused on the three concerned faces looking down on him. He listened intently to the voice he heard, but couldn't quite make out. "Nick. Nick, talk to me. Don't tell me this blood is making you squimish, after all these years." A little more focused now, he sat up. "I'm.... sorry, I...I... don't know what... came over me. I was just standing there and everything went black. It's the lack of sleep. I haven't slept for the past several days." how many was it? He couldn't think, everything was fuzzy. "That's it." Reese began. "You're off this case and I want you back home to rest. I don't want to see you until you've got this cleared up. That's an *order*." His tone of voice was sombering and stern. Nick began to protest, saw the look in Captain Reese's eyes and thought better of it. Nat put in, "He's right, You won't do anyone any good like this. Go get some rest. Dr.'s orders." He looked over at her. A face like an angel. What a strange thought for a vampire. Must be really tired. Tracy stared to put in her two cents worth, but before she could do much more than open her mouth he threw up his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. I'll go. Three against one. I don't think I have a chance with that sort of odds." The tension was broken and they all began to chuckle. He stood, feeling a little light headed. Leaning towards Natalie for support, he stated with a glint in his eye, "I think I'm a couple pints low." Tracy grabbed his other arm. "I'll make sure he gets home, Cap. I'll be right back." Nick felt helpless to protest, so he just followed the blonde who had his arm. They took the steps cautiously. When they arrived at the caddy and he began to reach for his keys, Tracy put out her hand, "I'll take those. Your in no shape to drive Mr., now hand them over." "Okay, Okay. I know when I'm licked." Then he slid into the passenger seat, bent down his head and closed his eyes. He was oblivious to anything until they arrived at the loft. Tracy called a cab and was gone quickly. Nick just stood there, staring into the room. He tried keeping his mind blank, but they came anyway. They all came and marched through his head like a long dead army. Dead by his own hands. He had never even bothered to know most of their names. It was easier that way. He shook his head as if to clear it and the images were gone. "Blood. I need blood." Then there it was. The image of that house and the rooms, dripping with it. His stomach did a lurch. "I've got to get out of here before I go crazy." and he turned on his heels, not even touching the fridge. Back out into the night. The cool, fresh air hit him, clearing his mind a little. Looking around to make sure no one was watching, he lifted into the air. It had been a while since he had felt the urge to run from himself, but tonight it was so strong, he couldn't resist. Didn't the Captain say he could take as long as he needed. He had plenty of vacation time left, a *lot* of time. Heck, he never use them. There were a lot of times when he even worked his days off. With that thought a little more peace came to mind. The night air on his face felt good and the stars were bright tonight. No moon and only scattered clouds to block the view. Fast and furious he flew, trying to leave the blood behind, to leave himself behind. The farther he went the closer it was. On through the night he flew, not paying attention to where he was going, not caring where his flight would take him. One main thought dominated his whole perception, getting away from all that blood. There's so much blood, so much... Just then it hit him like a ton of bricks. The weakness from lack of feeding and sleep. He plummeted unchecked to the earth. Nick was too weak to help himself, too weak to care. Once again everything went black and he was enveloped in a dark and whispery dream world, where he seemed to float carelessly suspended by many webs of thought. Occasionally he would feel the tugs of memory - a familiar face or a faint recollection. How long he floated on the wings of memory, he could not tell. Passing through many, not touched by any. Only the continuous flow of the past marked time for him. Stark and straightforward. The thought did not frighten him. It was just there. end of part 2 The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 2 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Natalie stared after Nick in stunned silence as he limped out of the house, leaning heavily on Tracy. "Now there's a mouth you could drive a bus through." Reese stated flatly. "What? I'm sorry, wasn't listening." "That one went right over your head." She gave Reese a puzzled look, then she went back to her work. "Guess I'll have to go make those calls myself. See ya later, Doc." He turned and started to leave, then he turned back. "Oh, and have Vetter call me at the Precinct when she gets back." The big man turned again and was gone. What did Nick mean by so much blood? Surely he hasn't gone queasy on. A vampire who faints at the sight of blood? That's just too bizarre. She picked up the clipboard she had been taking notes on and resumed where she had left off. It was hard for Natalie to concentrate. Her mind kept returning to Nick. He must be over the edge. With all the setbacks they've had lately. That last phrase stuck in her mind *my Nick*. He was not her Nick, now was he? He was becoming more distant everyday. Dr. Lambert let out a long sigh. She had begun to wonder if Nick was still sure he wanted this human business, what with his hesitation to cooperate, drinking more and more blood, even human blood. None of that reasoning even came close to answering the cause of the detectives bizarre behavior tonight. Maybe it was fatigue like he said and she was blowing everything out of proportion. That was it. She made the decision to go have a talk with him and clear things up, after her shift was over. She was going to drive herself crazy; running to conclusions, always thinking the worst. Resolutely she pushed Nick Knight and all his problems out of her mind. She had work to do and needed to throw all her efforts into performing the duties she was trained for. ******************** Natalie looked up at the sound of heels walking in the door. "Man that was weird. He really freaked at the blood. I guess it eventually get's to you." "Yeah, I guess it does." Natalie always felt she had to protect and defend Nick, even if she didn't understand his reason herself. she thought mockingly. Involuntarily she reached up to rub her eyes. "Oh, Tracy. Captain Reese wants you to call him back at the precinct as soon as you can and now, if you'll excuse me. I need to start packing up here. There's nothing more I can do. What's left will be for cleaning miracles- are-us." "Do you think they can clean this up and make it livable again." Tracy's voice always sounded so fresh. How did she do it? Dr. Lambert ignored the question and started picking up all the samples that had been gathered, carefully cataloging each and placing them together in her bag. ******************** Natalie lay in her bed trying to fall asleep, but her mind continued to race. After her shift she had gone by the loft to see if she could get any of her raging questions answered. The caddy had been parked in it's garage, but there was no answer of response from Nick. The security system hadn't been turned on, so she let herself in. Maybe he had been too tired to think of such things and was just asleep. Natalie went right to the bedroom and found the bed empty. The sun would be up soon and no Nick. She had searched each room in turn with no response to her calls. The bed wasn't made. The shower room had been used, but not recently. There was a towel laying as to dry and the shower stall itself was dry. It did not appear to her as if anything had been taken, as if to stay away for a few days. She had sat and waited until sunrise. "Where could he be?" Knowing it was futile, she had set the security system, closed the window blinds and locked the doors before she left. "Where could he be?" She repeated aloud in her dark and lonely bedroom, turned over and fluffed her pillow again. Finally, she drifted off to sleep. ******************** Nat awoke with a start, her heart pounding and tears welling up in her eyes. As she pulled back the covers and stood, every muscle began to shake. Flopping back on the pillow, she put her head in her hands and let go. Her tears flowed as the dream came back. It had seemed so real. Nick had stood before her in a cape with his hair slicked back in the Hollywood vampire style and said, "I can't stay here any longer. I just have to move on." Then he had taken to the sky and was gone. Surely he wouldn't leave without saying anything. He had been so distraught the night before. Lacroix! If anyone knows anything, he would. If he didn't feel he could come to her, maybe he went to Lacroix. "His Lord and Master." she spat aloud with all the disdain she felt for the vampire who had made Nick what he was. He had hounded and tormented him at every turn, refusing to let go even when it was evident the younger vampire no longer wanted anything to do with him.She couldn't understand how or why Nick was drawn back to this man. Some unseen force that she would never understand. Nick often listened to his Nightcrawler radio show. She had asked him why once, but the answer sounded as though he didn't even understand the whys himself. She had listened a few times to his gloom and doom to see what Nick found so interesting. The subjects were always too dark for her tastes. Lacroix with his honey smooth voice that bristled with carefully controlled fury and savagery that always lay just below the surface. It gave her chills just to think about it, yet it was a part of Nick's life. It had been a part of her's since his body had been wheeled into the morgue in a body bag, dripping with blood. Eddy had said that it was a real mess. He had been at ground zero when a pipe bomb exploded. Upon seeing his body for herself, there had barely been a mark on the body no more than if he had cut himself shaving. When Nick had jumped off the table all fangs and glowing yellow eyes, she had been frightened at first. Fear that was quickly replaced by fascination. Her life had been turned upside down from that moment. She had seen that carefully controlled fury come out in Nick. His eyes would glint that iridescent gold and the savage beast of the vampire would threaten to overwhelm the man she knew and loved. The Nick Knight she cared for was a sensitive and gentle man. The appearance of the vampire side often startled her. The fact that the two totally opposite natures lived in the same body intrigued her. She and Nick had worked long and hard to exorcise the demon in him - the vampire demon, the savage killer that all too often reared it's ugly head. She just knew there was a physical cure. She had to have a talk with Lacroix as soon as night fell. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 3 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "What brings the good Dr. Lambert to my humble establishment? Police business I hope." The words came civil and smooth, yet she could detect the subtle barb in them. "Where is he?" Trying to keep the anger down, but loosing the battle . "Why, whomever do you mean, Doctor?" She couldn't help herself. The anger rose. She steeled herself and took a deep breath before continuing. "You know darn good and well who. Nick." The last was spoken through clenched teeth. "Calm yourself. Have a drink, on the house." "Don't patronize me. Where is he?" "He's not here, Dr. Lambert and I advise you not to go looking for him. When he get's like this, it's not wise." "You know something your not telling me. If I find out you are behind this. .." "Threats from you? Do you think that scares me?" There it was, the ever present fury, "I could kill you in one heartbeat, take your life and be done with you. Now there's a thought." Another deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'm just so worried. The last time I saw him he was so.....so upset." He turned back to the bar and his crimson drink, taking a sip before continuing, "All I know is the inklings I've been getting lately. You see, he and I have a bond the likes of which he will never share with a mortal. I have neither seen nor heard from him. I have learned from experience that he is best left alone to brood when he's like this." She had been dismissed and would not get anymore from him. She turned and left the club. ******************** Natalie opened the car door and got in to the driver's seat and just sat with her hands on the steering wheel. She said aloud, "Nick, wherever you are, I hope your all right." and the tears began to flow as she started her engine and drove away. ******************** Slowly, awareness began to return as he clawed his way out of an endless dark pit. He began to feel the sensations of his body once again. Every muscle and joint screamed with stiffness as he reached up to rub he eyes. "I feel like I've slept for a hundred years." and a groan involuntarily escaped his throat. "Actually you've only slept for three days straight." Nick jerked up to face the direction of the strange voice. It was deep, yet soothing somehow. It told Nick he had nothing to fear. His senses told him the other man was also a vampire. "Who are you and where am I?" "You will learn all of that soon enough. For now, you need to feed. Here." and the stranger handed him an earthen pitcher of dark red liquid. Tentatively he sniffed the concoction and a smile spread across his face. "How did you know. This is horse blood, I believe." The stranger pointed to his own neck. Nick put his hand to his neck and could just feel the puncture wounds that were nearly healed. "I took the liberty of reading your blood, as you were in no condition to tell me about yourself. Besides, " motioning towards the pitcher of blood, "I don't drink anything but animal blood myself. Oh, I've drank my share of human blood in my time. In fact, I prefer it. As with you, I quit a long time ago. I know you understand why." He had never met another vampire who really understood. Nick took a big drink of the pitcher. "Well, I guess you have me at a disadvantage. You know a lot about me, but I know nothing of you or this place. Where are we? " He downed more of the thick liquid and got up from the bed. He had to catch himself as a wave of dizziness hit him. "Whoa, take it easy. There's plenty of time for that. Right now you need to concentrate on getting back your strength." He handed Nick a second pitcher. The edges of the hunger were starting to dull and he could feel the warmth from the blood begin to seep through him. "This must be fresh. It still has animal heat in it." "There are a lot of herd animals around. I raid them during the night for what I need. I knew you would be waking soon, so I decided to fetch some just before the sun came up this morning Nick finished the second pitcher and held the empty out to his host. "I think we're up to speed now. I'll just go in the other room and fetch some more." ******************** Several pots sat empty on the stone table before him and he felt his strength returned enough to venture another attempt to stand. Nick surveyed his surroundings. The walls appeared to have been carved from stone, possibly lava rock. Ancient and modern articles adorned many nooks cut into the rock and hanging on the wall. There were black ware, red ware, grey ware with myriad designs incised in them and painted on them. There were shells inlaid with such things as turquoise and lignite. Many masks and headresses made of wood, fur, bone, horns, human hair, shells, beads, feathers. Skins of buffalo, antelope, deer, bear that were painted with different designs and depicting many scenes from events, battles, celebrations, hunts. There were Katchina dolls and masks of many different makes. Tomahawks with designs incised in the blades, baby carriers decorated with beads, shields, totems, figurines. From what Nick could remember from his archeological studies, these were artifacts from South America to Alaska and everywhere in between. Some appeared to be very old while others showed no mark of time. He was admiring a particular deer skin depicting a battle. "That's the battle of LIttle Big Horn." "I know. Were you there?" "No, but this was painted by a good friend of mine that was there. He's been dead a long time." and he handed Nick two more pots of blood. "Quite a collection you've got here the likes of which I have never seen." The awe was apparent in his voice. "These are just my favorite pieces. I have many others. You see, this is my life's work. The gathering of this collection and the preservation of the many peoples who called this continent their home long before the whites arrived." He walked over and fondly stroked a baby carrier, "There is nothing so sad as a people who have lost their past." and a forlorn, far away look came to his eyes. He shook himself from his revelry, "I have other rooms filled, the likes that would amaze and mystify you. I'll show them to you later if you would like." "I would like that. I was once an archeologist. I've even taught it." Nick's mysterious host wore long black hair with high cheek bones and a prominent nose. His skin had a dark, olive cast to it regardless of what he was. He wondered how long had this vampire walked the earth. The Native American stood a good head shorter than Nicholas, yet his bearing was one that commanded respect. The kind of bearing and dignity that came with great age. "Now that I feel much stronger, how about..." The other cut him off in mid-sentence with a gesture of his hands. "First you must bathe. There is a natural hot springs that I have incorporated into my humble abode. Let me show you." Nick hadn't realized how dirty he felt. A nice warm bath would be wonderful . They walked through the doorway, down a long hallway past several rooms, all with closed doors. "Here we are. I've laid out some clothes for you. We'll talk when your done." and he left him to his privacy. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 4 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> His mind was racing with questions. Where was he? How did he get here? Who was his mysterious host? He was decidedly Native American, but that was all he knew. Should he trust this vampire? He did save his life, after all . What sort of angle did he have? Living for centuries with Lacroix had taught him to be cynical - paranoid if you will. There *was* a lot to worry about, but for right now this very minute he could relax and soak his troubles away. The mineral hot springs fed the *spa* and the water stayed an optimal temperature year round, warmed by this volcanic area. Where was the nearest volcanic area to Toronto? Nick had never bothered to find out. He stripped his blood sweat clothes from his body and eased himself into the water. It seemed the cares of the world washed off him and just floated away. A relaxed smile moved across his face as the water swirled around him . Peaceful, so peaceful. Not a care in the world. How long had it been since he had felt this carefree? Was it ten, twenty, or maybe a hundred years ago . He couldn't quite recall. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing but the water and him existed right now. He closed his eyes and lay back, letting the tension and anxiety seep out and then her angelic face danced into view, smiling with so much love. Suddenly the smile was gone, replaced by a look of sheer terror and revulsion, all the while she was looking at him. Quickly he jerked up, the tranquil moment broken. He knew exactly why Natalie had been smiling as well as the reason she had been afraid. It was all for him. First the human side, then the vampire side of his nature. They constantly waged war, battling for dominance. The human side with compassion, love, and abiding respect for all things living. The vampire side, aquainted with death and killing in all it's ferocity and stark terror. The blood lust constantly driving to the kill. For the first time since he had awakened, the conflict resumed. He had felt oddly at peace with himself, but the realities came starkly flooding back. "I'll never find any peace. I'll never become human again. Natalie and I will never be together like we want. I'm only fooling myself. This stupid quest of mine... Lacroix was right. It's impossible." Grabbing the soap, he finished the cleaning process. He felt fresh and clean on the outside, but no amount of cleaning could make him clean on the inside. The clothes laid out were loose fitting, comfortable, and of simple design. Rather what he would have chosen for himself, *black* like his mood. ******************** She dialed his number again, being greeted by the same answering machine message, "This is Nick. Either I'm out or asleep. You know what to do. Beep." "Nick, this is Natalie. After the other day, I'm so worried. what has become of you. *Please* call and let me know what's going on." Click. She stood there with the phone still in her hand, just staring at it. "Maybe I just need to face the fact that he's not coming back, after all it's been 3 days with no word." she took a deep breath and set down the phone. "*Natalie*, you've got to stop this. Your letting your imagination run away with you." She walked into the kitchen to grab another cup of coffee before she took off for work. She planned to leave a little early in order to drop by the station to see if there had been any word from Nick. She had already made it a ritual. Captain Reese had assured her the minute he knew anything, she would be the first to know. That wasn't good enough for her. This waiting and not knowing was hell. It seemed her whole life was on hold. She really hadn't realized how big a part of it Nick had become. As she sipped her coffee, she let her mind wander back to the first time they met. His very existence shattering her neatly ordered world of preconceived notions. This was the stuff of fairy tales and *nightmares*. Right from the beginning she had to find a way to fit him into her *scientist's* world. If he was gone for good how could she be just plain Natalie again. Startled , she realized she had been pacing the floor. Looking at her watch she shouted, "OH, I'm late!" grabbed her keys and ran out the door. ******************** The sun was just setting, allowing the vampires to once again venture forth into the world of darkness. The cave that the Native vampire had made his home was some 300 feet underground, accessible only through a vertical shaft. After a quick flight up and out of the shaft, Nick surveyed the landscape. Sagebrush growing scattered here and there, large rock outcroppings were visible all around. To the north were rolling hills and to the south the horizon was speckled with several concentrations of lights. Suddenly the other vampire was there. Nick turned to see the face, knowing who would be there. Pointing, he asked "How far to the closest town?" "Oh, maybe 20 miles, as the crow flies, or in this case the vampire." He gently laughed to himself, pleased with the humor of the statement. Nick gave a brief smile, found a large rock for a seat and got comfortable. He then began to survey the area more closely. The sky was so clear and the stars so distinct. The vastness of the heavens seemed to suck all the anxiety and self doubt from him, replacing it with a sense of peace. He began to think back on the conversation he had had with his mysterious host, after his bath. ******************** He had reentered the room where he had awakened earlier and began to question his host who was calmly examining one of his many artifacts for some fine detail. His questions had been greeted with another question, "Do you believe that things happen for a reason, Nicholas?" The question had taken Nick off guard. He replied after careful consideration, "Do I believe things happen for a reason? I guess I have to say...I really don't know. I've never seen anything in my life that says so." His benefactor considered his answer then spoke, "I'm a Native American, It doesn't matter from what tribe. They have long since gone from mother earth . My name is Raincloud. I am a Shaman - a healer among my people. After my change, I became awed and revered. I was given what you might call an almost godlike status. I was brought across about 200 yrs ago by a Spaniard named Javier Vachon. Vachon brought me across during the small pox epidemic that threatened to wipe out the Atfalati people. A *gift* from the White man. We had no resistance to their diseases. I was training to be a medicine man at the time and was working hard to keep my people alive when I was stricken with the illness." "Vachon had stopped in his travels to visit and trade. I had watched him and could tell he had no fear of the dread disease that was claiming my people, so I begged him to share the secret with me so I could go on healing my people. That is when I accepted the vampire life and because of him, I was able to help my people live for another 130 yrs." He looked over at his companion and stopped at the shocked look he saw there. "Do you mean to tell me Javier Vachon brought you across?" "You know him? It is a small world indeed. You two are quite a lot alike, though I don't think human morals bother him as much." "You obviously have education and contact with the human world outside," gesturing to the shelves of books that lined one wall and the few modern furnishings that were about. "I have all I need and want here. From time to time I have ventured out. Until recently, society has been quite unkind to those of us from different backgrounds. At times it still is. I have taken night classes and spent a great deal of time among many tribes across this great land learning of their ways and cultures in an attempt to preserve what was here before the white tide came. Lately, I've grown accustomed to my own company." At that Nick smiled, envious of that. There had been a time in his past when he had chosen a solitary life. He had *enjoyed the solitude* The silence continued and brought many voices with it. Nick felt compelled to talk and drown out the voices that reached him, even here. "What did you mean when you asked if I felt as if things happen for a reason?" "Do you know why you are here, Nicholas? Have you given that any thought. You didn't end up here by accident." "I guess it's because I wanted to get away." "Partly. Your mind, your psyche sought me out and brought you here. It touched me and recognized me for who I am - a medicine man - not only for my long dead tribe, but for vampires as well." "You mean to tell me my unconscious highjacked my body and brought it here?" His voice began to grow louder, "That's pretty far fetched for even me to take." He turned his back on Raincloud and leaned against the wall, feeling the coolness seep out through rock. Raincloud smiled his gentle, patient smile waiting for Nick's next move. After a few minutes his patience was rewarded. Nick turned, crossing his arms. Closing the distance between the two, "Suppose I believe that your telling me the truth. What reason would I have to seek you out?" "I would think that was obvious. I can give you something you can't get anywhere else." "You mean..." he left it open, afraid to believe it might be true. Nick's eyes grew wide with anticipation. "No. I really don't believe a cure for vampirism is in my power, but there is something you have been searching for and your subconscious - as you called it - is the only one who knows the true answer to why you sought me out." A puzzled look came to Nick's face. Changing the subject, "How did you happen to find me, anyway?" "I was out raiding a herd of wild antelope some miles west of here and felt the presence of one of our kind. I looked up and saw a dark shape falling from the sky. It was getting pretty close to dawn and I knew you wouldn't be much more than a pile of ashes if I didn't help. I had felt your searching and was sure you were seeking me. I took you to my cave and saw to your comfort. You know the rest." Nick threw up his hands in a gesture of enough for now. "Do you have anymore of that horse blood. I sure could use some more right about now. I need to digest everything you've told me." It was a lot to take in all at once. His host rose from the couch and crossed the room to his cache, brought back two pitchers. He handed one to Nick and set the other in front of him. "Do you believe there's a farm about ten miles southeast of here that raises draft horses and goats for the soul purpose of harvesting their blood for medical testing. I just intercept a shipment here and there and nobody misses it. At least I convince them they don't miss it." Nick just had to laugh at that. It seemed it was so easy to be relaxed with Raincloud. Talking came easy and he felt he had nothing to hide from the wise man. A smile came to his face again as he remembered the exchange while he sat, watching the stars. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 5 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Just give him some time. He's been working hard for a long time, without any vacation. No matter how hard I try, I can't get that man to take any time off. Maybe this is what he needs to get back on track." The big, black man looked across his desk at Natalie with his fatherly concern. He seemed to be filling *that* roll more and more in this position. "I know your right, Capt. Reese. I can't help but worrying about him. You saw him that night. He was pretty fragile that night. Anything could send him over the edge and we may never see him again." It was a sure bet that Reese was worried too, but it was becoming more and more apparent to Natalie that no one could do anything. It was a matter of watch and wait. "Let him work it out. He'll be all right." She looked at Reese with resignation written all over it, "That's exactly what I got from Nick's...ah.Old friend." "Well, there you go, Don't worry. He'll work it out." Joe stood and walked over, opened the door for Nat and repeated with emphasis in a softer more personal tone, "He'll be all right." She stood, walked to the door, gave Reese a mechanical smile,then left. When she got to her car instead of getting in she leaned against the door and repeated with her face turned up to the sky, "He'll be all right. Knowing what I know and seeing what I saw, how can I help but worry? Well. Nick, I'm just going to have to trust you on this one aren't I? Nothing else I can do? Not a thing." She didn't like being helpless. Moving from the door, she got in the driver's seat and sped off to start her night's work. ******************** "Nat!" He put a hand over his face. 'I almost forgot. I have to let her know what's going on. She'll worry herself sick." He jerked out of his revelry, the thought slapping him as if he had been hit with a wet towel. "That's no problem. We can go into town and I'll show you where there's a pay phone." and he was airborne almost too fast for his vampiric senses to realize what had happened. Nick followed suit just as quickly. "Damn!" Nick shouted as he hung up the phone. "There's no answer at the morgue and her answering machine won't pick up at her apartment. Guess I'll just have to try back some other time." and they were off again. Back in the cave, each with a pot of blood slowly sipping, the questions that Raincloud hadn't answered began to surface in Nick's mind, "...So, if it was my psyche who sought you out, how are we to know why I'm here?" He looked up from his drink to his companion across the table. I've been thinking about that. There's a ritual my people used to answer questions of the heart. It's called many things by many cultures of the world, not just Native American. Essentially it's a Vision Quest. The seeker's consciousness is altered in some way, then is able to seek out answers to questions that haven't even found awareness yet." Taking another sip of horse blood, Nick asked "A vision quest, huh. I like the sound of that. I'm a seeker on a vision quest!" A look of concern crossed the Medicine Man's face, knowing the gravity of such a quest. "There are a few things you need to keep in mind. Occasionally people from ones past or even some one you've never met before appear as guides to impart wisdom or show folly. The other thing you need to keep in mind is *you* are in total control of the situation. Whatever happens or whatever you learn, the seeds of it all were with you before the journey was undertaken. Lastly, I need to caution you that once a journey has begun it must be played out to it's conclusion before it can end. Do you understand? It may be a satisfying journey, a peaceful one, or a very disturbing quest that you embark on. Whatever it turns out to be, it will be for your growth and learning - uniquely yours." Nick had listened intently to what his host had said, excited at the idea. "I understand and am willing to take this journey." He gulped down the rest of the blood in the pot and replaced it on the table. "When can we go?" "Wait just a minute. I haven't even explained everything to you yet." "Well?" The keen sense of anticipation was growing in the pit of his stomach. Raincloud took a deep breath. This would be the hard part, "It can last anywhere from fifteen minutes to several days. As far as how... it would be best to just show you." There was a whoosh of air and he was gone. Raincloud returned after about twenty minutes holding a five foot long diamondback rattlesnake. Nick backed away a few steps feeling the natural aversion to snakes. His eyes grew large. "What are you going to do with that?" Nick hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from the snake as it writhed in Raincloud's hands . The man showed absolutely no fear of the reptile as he stood silently. "Wait just a minute, You're not going to do what I think your going to do, are you?" The other vampire nodded his head with a benevolent smile on his lips. "Do you really think I'm going to let that snake bite me?" Raincloud shook his head, "That's what I was afraid of." his countenance changed to puzzlement. "Surely your not afraid of a little ol' snake. A big strong vampire like yourself?" A smile spread over his face and soon an uncontrollable laugh started with the Shaman. Nick following suit after realizing how ridiculous his reaction had been. There was no place in his life for his ancestral fear of snakes. After Raincloud caught his breath, he continued "I have found that the venom from a rattlesnake bite works quite well in facilitating a quest such as yours - for us of the vampire persuasion anyway. For a mortal, I know of several herbs and combinations that work quite well, Peyote among them. After I was brought across, they didn't seem to have the same effect as before. Brother Rattlesnake showed me a better way. This area is famous for it's rattlesnake population. I got this specimen in a snake's den about 100 yards from the mouth of my cave. Beauty, isn't he?" Nick eyed the snake with disdain, "I'm sorry, but I just can't view this creature as beautiful." ******************** "Are you sure you're ready?" "Yes. Let's just do this before I lose my nerve." Nick sat in the hot springs cavern of the cave, stripped to the waist, sitting cross legged on a mat. Raincloud approached him with the snake and the older vampire closed his eyes and whispered, "I must be crazy to be doing this." "You need to suspend what you believe for this to work. Brother Rattlesnake won't take you until your ready. I have told him what is expected of him and he has agreed." "Of all the things I've seen in my life, this is not nearly the strangest. It really makes sense, now that I think about it." Nick made an effort to relax and the tension began to melt from his face.. "The three days you lay in my cave, unconscious was a time of preparation. At that time I decided whether or not I was going to help you. I guided you in the preparations. You do not conciously remember, but the knowledge is there. Just let it take you over. Clear your mind of all the baggage of this world and let yourself go." Gently and with great respect, Raincloud set the snake down on the stone floor of the cave. Nick watched as the snake began to slowly circle him, as he sat. Closing his eyes, he began to empty his head of all distractions. Vague memories and impressions began to press on his consciousness as he heard the rattle just before the strike. It hit him in the right shoulder, giving him no more than an sting that was faded quickly. Sinking his 2 inch fangs deep, the snake pumped the deadly venom into the wounds. After withdrawing, it returned to the Shaman. Nick began to feel a warm flush spread through him, beginning at the bite and radiating outwards until it consumed his whole body. His perceptions began to waver as he felt Raincloud enter the room after returning the snake to it's den. The pungent smoke of unfamiliar herbs filled his nostrils as he heard the chanting begin. "To the East where the Sun rises. To the North where the cold comes from. To the South where the light comes from. To the West where the sun sets. To the Father Sun. To the Mother Earth." "Other religions teach men what to believe, here each man learns truth for himself. Given the rattlesnake that through it this vampire might know and be shown his own road by his own heart. When he takes the venom he sees the road, he knows and sees all the truths of life" E-ya-ha-we-ye-he-ye-ye He-ye-ho-we-ye-whi-ye-ye E-ya-ha-we-ye-he-ye-ye E-ya- ha-we-ye-he-ye-ye The foreign sounds of the chant penetrated Nick. He didn't understand the meaning, yet somehow it pulled at his thoughts. It soothed and comforted. He-ye--ho-we-ye-hai-i-yi-hi-ha He-yi-ha-i-...-ya-ha-ya-ya Ha-ai-ya-ha-ai-yo- yu-ai-ye-ya Ho-ai-ho-ho-...-o-yu-he-a-ya The words began to become visible creatures that moved through the air in waves, dancing and swirling to the music of the chant. A thrill of pleasure penetrated his body as he began to feel it floating and turning in time with the chanting, joining the strange creatures before him. The creatures that *were* the chant. Suddenly he felt a jolt as his body began to spasm out of his control and into the control of the chant. His eyes flew open at the sound of her voice. A voice he hadn't heard in over 700 years. "Fleur?" So soft and gentle, full of concern. There she sat, just as he remembered her, when last they parted, "Dear brother Nicholas, What has become of you ? You must foresake this evil path and once again join the human race." Her apparition faded and he felt a pulling sensation towards her. "Don't go! Come back!" In the opposite direction a voice he knew all too well called to him. The voice of his master to whom he had enslaved himself all those many years ago . "Lacroix?" "I have you and you are *mine*. When will you learn that you can never go back. Give in to your nature, Nicholas. Come back to me...." he faded and was gone as Nick felt a pull once again. only in the opposite direction towards where Lacroix had been. This pull was decidedly stronger and more serious. "Nick, Nick. Where are you? I can't find you." His head turned back to where Fleur had stood and saw Natalie appear out of thin air. "Oh, Nick. There you are. I thought I would never see you again . I thought I had lost you. Nick, don't give up, you *will* be human again and I can help you. I just know it." She began to fade and pull him to her . Nick could feel something give deep inside. It just snapped and his vision began to blurr. The tugging and the voices of each returned repeating what had already been said in a jumble of voices. The tugging was more insistent . The vampire nature pulling from this side and the human nature pulling from that. His hands flew up to his ears in an effort to shut out the cacophony of voices that chilled him. "I can't!" he shouted to the sky, "I can't be what you want me to be." This to everyone and to no one as his sight doubled and the air around him began to ripple as waves of the sea. Everything faded to black... and all awareness ceased...all sound ceased... The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 6 By Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jerking awake with a total body shiver, he opened his eyes to take bearing on where he was. The same room as he remembered, the cold stone floor, the warm fire. Slowly happenings began to filter back into his numb brain. He began to realize there was someone sitting very close to him, to his back. He whirled around to see who was there and was greeted by his own face, fangs extended and eyes glowing a golden warning. Nick looked back at where Raincloud had been seated, chanting earlier. He was greeted by the medicine man's total shock and surprise at what he had just witnessed. "What is going on here? Is this some kind of joke?." "I assure you, Mr. Knight this is no joke nor do I have any explanation for what my eyes have just seen. You kind of... *liquefied* and pull into opposite directions then *solidified* into two separate personages. It was better than any Hollywood special effects I ever saw. Both Nicks shot him a puzzled look. "Well? You don't expect me to spend every Saturday night alone do you?" ******************** "...And as always when you have a friend in the Nightcrawler, who needs enemies." He reached over and turned off the transmitter for the day. It would be dawn in a matter of minutes. The club had closed and all employees had left. The Raven was his again until nightfall. He walked out to the bar and the bottle of his special stock that was left out for him daily to pour himself a crimson drink. His mind returned to the annoying subject of what had become of his errant son, Nicholas. The visit earlier that night from Natalie had got him to worrying. That had brought the inklings to the forefront of his mind. Recently Nicholas had been restless and broody. Lucien had known that he would soon take off for a while, maybe a week or a month, depending on how deep Nick felt disturbed. The elder vampire could not understand nor did he even harbor a desire to understand the reasons his protegee' could possibly feel guilty for taking what he needed to survive, for being what was in his nature to be. Shaking his head to rid himself of the thoughts, the Nightcrawler downed the last of the blood from the glass and made his way to his bed and to sleep. ******************** "Nick! Your back!" forgetting herself, she ran up to him and put her arms around him. She squeezed so hard, Nick wondered if he would be able to draw his next breath. Suddenly Natalie stopped, pushed Nick out to arms length and examined his face with puzzlement. She studied him as if she would find something in it that would say 'This isn't my Nick.' All that greeted her were the familiar blue eyes, the pale smooth skin, the perfect mouth. All seemed as it should be, yet it was in the middle of the day. How could that be? "Wha...Nick is that really you? It's broad daylight outside. How did you get here in the sun? What happened?" Not quite able to believe it, she waited suspiciously. "Let's go find some lunch first. I'm starved. I've been traveling all day. " Unsure what to say, "Well...sure." and she laughed, "Let me get my coat and purse and I'll be right back. Her heart raced in her chest, the adrenaline flowed through her veins. Could this really be true? Had Nick actually found a cure where she had failed? It was too good to be true. As she stopped to slip on her coat, she said aloud to no one in particular "Someone pinch me." "What was that? I didn't catch it?" He was standing at her door just a mere ten feet away and couldn't understand her? A shiver ran up her spine as she closed and locked her door. They sat and ate as he recounted the events of the last few days since his disappearance, carefully leaving out the part about the other *Nick*. Natalie noted how he ate, with such gusto. Like a man who hadn't had a meal in centuries. "Are you going to finish that?" "No, go ahead." She laughed as she pushed what was left of her sandwich and fries over to her companion. "Waitress," he gestured, "I want some pie. What kind you got? Never mind. Just give me a piece of each." "Nick, you really don't have to eat everything all at once. Don't you think that's a little too much?" She laughed. This was so great! "Yeah, I guess. Just bring me a slice of peach and one of apple." Natalie shook her head in resignation. "You know you can't keep eating like that, you'll make yourself sick." "I can't help it Nat, everything tastes so good." She just smiled to herself. After all, this is what they've been waiting for for so long, isn't it? Let him get used to it. She began to revise her initial assessment of the situation. Maybe the face and mannerisms were the same. There still was something strange about this man that she had known and worked closely with the last five years. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Maybe it was just that change of being human. That was it. It *had* to be. ******************** Lacroix was sitting at the bar sipping a goblet of blood and a familiar twinge greeted him with the most recent arrival to his club. The crowd in the Raven tonight wasn't very heavy and the patrons were rather subdued. The elder vampire raised his glass in salute, "Nicholas, I see you've found you're way back home once again. Did you get things straightened out?" "Yes, quite nicely, thank you." Lacroix looked at the younger vampire as he sat down next to him. He looks the same, walks the same, yet there was a subtle difference about him. He wrinkled his brow in puzzlement then shot up in surprise as Nick stated, "I'll have what you're drinking." "Careful, Nicholas. This isn't what you're used to." "I know what it is." he growled at his master and slugged down the drink as soon as it was placed in front of him. "Another and leave the bottle." "My, how your tastes have changed, Nicholas. Dare I hope you are giving in to your true nature?" "I need a place to stay for a while." Nick stated abruptly then looked at Lacroix, who was studying his protegee', desperately for an answer. What had caused such an abrupt change in his creation? He could sense none of the qualms at drinking human blood, no hesitancy whatsoever. He got the distinct feeling that if he should ask his son to go hunting with him, the offer would be taken without a seconds hesitation. The thought brought with it his self satisfied smile. He opened his mouth to speak when another thought hit him. This wasn't right. There is something amiss here. He just didn't know what, yet. Nick spent the rest of the night at the bar, drinking blood. He said nothing more than to ask for a refill. Lacroix kept his distance, watching with reserve, as he probed through the bond that was their's as maker and son. One that was familiar, yet... Gone was the self loathing, the recrimination and guilt. There seemed to be no resistance on the part of the younger vampire, whatsoever. This...This change was what he had wanted, wished for since that day so long ago. Yes...It was in 1228 when Janette had brought Nicholas to him. He was a brash young knight of the crusades who thought he wanted immortality and all else that Lacroix had to offer. It wasn't long before he realized this would be an adversarial relationship. A relationship that had thrilled him and drawn him back again and again to his son, Nicholas DeBrabant. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 7 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Nick entered the station with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Joe Reese watched from his office as the detective walked over and took his place at his desk. "Nick, in my office." The Captain called, standing in his doorway. Nick walked in and took a seat opposite Reese, who had seated himself behind his desk. "You look more rested than I think I've seen you in a long time. What happened? The last time I saw you, you were coming apart at the seams. I honestly didn't know if you would be back." "Well, Cap I have had a burden lifted from my shoulders that has been weighing me down for a long time and I feel great." "Great. Then I think it's safe to say we can get back to work. If you find Sanchez, he can update you. He kind of stepped into your place while you were gone." "Thanks, I will." Knight rose and left. Reese sat in his chair, his hands on his desk, fingers interlaced, shaking his head. "I wish I could feel that good again." Opened the papers on his desk and started reading. Henry Sanchez, who usually filled in here and there wasn't hard to find. A very outgoing young man of about 28, seemed to always be the center of attention when he was around. He always had a story or a humorous quip. Tonight was no exception. "Hey, Sanchez. Cap said you could bring me up to speed on what's been going on while I was gone." "Sure, Knight. Just a minute," to his enraptured audience, "I'll finish the story later." Henry pushed some papers around his desk, found the set he wanted then threw them down in front of Nick. "Day before yesterday we found another house just like the first. Everything covered with blood. Here are the reports. No clues, no leads, no suspects as of yet. Natalie can brief you on her end . Tonight is Tracy's night off so there you are. Anything else?" "That will do just fine. Thanks." After sitting down and going over the reports, he made his way over to the morgue. Natalie was bending over her latest case when Nick arrived. "What's up?" "Oh, hi Nick. Jane Doe suicide I'd say. Witness watched her jump off the bridge. It's pretty cut and dried." She pulled the sheet back up over the face. "Sanchez said you could fill me in on the blood houses." "Yeah, just a minute, let me get my info." She removed her gloves then washing up. Walking over to her desk, she punched a few keys on her computer. "The blood from both houses were mostly mixed types with preservatives added . The same type they use in blood banks. A shipment of blood had been hijacked as it was being delivered to the hospital and ten units were taken the day before we found the first house. The only witness, the driver is still in a coma and not talking. There was another hijacking of blood shipment the day before we found the second house. This time outside the blood bank. Same situation. The driver was found unconscious, but not expected to live. Last I heard, he's still hanging in there." "How about the victims?" "Both elderly ladies, retired, no family locally. No connections yet. Both died of blood loss after multiple slashing with a very sharp object. No weapon as of yet." "Thanks." He turned to leave then turned back, "How about we grab something to eat later, say about two?" Natalie hesitated, her face blank. Nick couldn't read her. "Sure. I can work it so I'll be free." "See you later then?" "Yeah, see you." He left and she stared at the door after him. "Boy, that's going to take some getting used to." ******************** Nick thought to himself. He couldn't hear as well, his power's of persuasion were gone and flying and getting shot were out of the question. There would be no bouncing back from that anymore. He was going to have to be very careful or this hard won mortality could end with a bullet. How many times had that vampiric constitution of his save him? He had lost count a long time ago. What if he forget and got in front of a bullet? There would be no second chances. Dead is dead. The enormity of the possibility of death rattled around in his head as he drove back to the station. It continued to plague him as he poured over the papers Sanchez had given him. He was unused to fear and failed to recognize the signs as they grew - the shaking, the sweaty palms and the increase in heart rate. "Nick, you all right?" It was Natalie and Nick had been so startled, he had knocked his papers on the floor. She had been able tosneak up on him just like that. He hadn't sensed her or heard her coming. She laughed as she bent to help him recover his papers. "Nick, you got too wrapped up in those reports and you forgot our lunch date. Two o-clock. Remember?." Quickly, he glanced at his watch. Sure enough, it was two-thirty. "I thought for sure I had been stood up." and she laughed again. "I'm going to have to do something or I'll go stark raving mad. How do you do it, Nat?" "Do what?" "Live like this. Normal I mean." "Well, Nick you need to take it one step at a time. You can't run until you've learned to walk. If you take it slowly, you'll be all right." The papers were placed back on the desk in some semblance of a stack. "Let's forget about that for now and go get some lunch." Nick was glad for the distraction, and such a pretty one to. He hadn't been able to concentrate on what he was reading anyway. He had read the same paragraph over and over again and still was no closer to making any sense of it. Natalie handed Nick his coat then half pulled half drug Knight to the door and her waiting car. ******************** The crowd of vampires were thinning. All mortals had left long ago. Soon it would be closing time. Lacroix was just finishing the last of his monologue on CERK radio, preparing to sign off for the day. Nicholas still sat at the bar drinking what he had spent so many years swearing off. It thrilled him to see his son return to his true nature. There was still a part of Nicholas that was hidden from him. All seemed good, yet Lacroix had reservations. Seeing his son act more *naturally* gave him a hope that he hadn't had for centuries. Lucien had been patient with the reasons Nicholas had given for his behavior through the years. Lately Nick had had several serious setbacks. Each time had given the master vampire more hope that his creation would come back to the vampire community and accept the gift he had been given. That was all Lacroix had ever really wanted from him. "Hey, Knight," came a voice as he felt a pat on the back. I heard you were back. Anything going on?" He took the stool beside Nick at the bar and ordered the usual. Nick turned and scowled at the newcomer, Vachon. He had probably stopped off for a little refreshment before going back to the abandoned church he called home. "Don't call me that anymore." he growled at the younger vampire, "I'm Nicholas DeBrabant." "A little touchy aren't we?" "Just don't call me Knight anymore." "Okay, Okay. I got it." After a long interval of silence, Nick volunteered, "I met a friend of your's the other day. An old American Indian named Raincloud." Vachon looked over to DeBrabant. "I seem to remember him. I brought him across maybe 200 years ago as Screed and I were traveling along the Oregon coast. We came across his band. They were dying of Small Pox. He begged me to bring him across so he could continue to heal his people. Sad lot. Proud people though. The diseases the whites brought with them nearly wiped them out." Nick continued to stare ahead, "He says all his people are dead since early this century." He took another sip of his drink. Vachon grunted, "Sorry to hear that. Where did you run into him anyway?" "He's living in a cave in the middle of sagebrush country." His face nor his voice gave any hint of emotion. "Small world, huh." Then Javier picked up his glass and made his way over to talk to Urs before he had to leave. She had been sitting at the other end of the bar watching the exchange. "What's with Knight...Excuse me - DeBrabant over there? So glum." He gave a look over his shoulder at the other vampire who hadn't changed positions or expression. "Oh, him. He's been sitting there all night like that. Not a whole lot of use for anyone. He seems kind of strange tonight." "Your telling me." He slammed down the rest of his drink, wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "Got to run. See you tonight." She acknowledged his departure with a nod in his direction, then looked back to Nick as she sipped her own drink. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 8 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> All patrons were gone and the bar help was just walking out the door. Nick remained unmoved. Lacroix decided to approach him directly. He had to know what was going on. He walked over to the younger vampire and set he glass on the bar. "Why the change, Nicholas? Up to a week ago you wouldn't have dared to sit here and openly drink human blood." Nicholas turned to Lacroix after finishing his drink, with the same dead pan expression, "What does it matter, Lacroix?" The voice was calm and low, with an edge to it. He almost spat the name. "You finally have what you've wanted. An obedient son." His words dripped with enmity. "Now show me to my quarters. I need some rest. I've traveled a long ways to be here." "Maybe tonight you can elucidate me on your change of attitudes, after you've had your rest. Follow me." Maybe it was fatigue as he said. He would give him that, but he would not tolerate this insolence beyond that. There was a definite irritation building in Lacroix. ******************** Natalie hurried to get her work done so she could leave early. She planned to go shopping, then have breakfast ready by the time Nick arrived at the loft. She was so excited at the prospect that she went out to her car before she realized she had left her purse. When she arrived at the loft and stepped through the sliding door, she stopped suddenly, her arms full of groceries. A sudden chill coursed through her as gooseflesh appeared on her arms. This place was so barren. She had never realized it before. Why now? She shook her head as if to rid herself of the feeling. Nick had arrived in good spirits, humming some tune or other. Natalie was unaccustomed to his high spirits. "Smells wonderful, Nat." He walked over behind her and put his arms around her waist as she was dishing the scrambled eggs onto two plates. Just then the toast popped up. "I'll get that." He whispered into her ear then kissed it and moved away to the toast. It all seemed so normal and natural. Everything their relationship had never been before. The relationship that had started out between a pathologist with a secondary interest in vampire medicine and a vampire cop was now only between a man and a woman. He wasn't exactly an ordinary man, as this man had 800 years of memories and experiences. Could he learn to live a normal life after being a vampire for that long? Natalie couldn't even imagine what it would be like to live that long, to go from life to life, never growing old, never really changing. She was noticing the slow appearance of wrinkles around her eyes, she definitely looked older this year than she did last year. Now she wouldn't have to worry about growing old as Nick continued to be endlessly young. They could have a family, grow old together - if he had a chance to grow old. How many times had he taken a bullet and miraculously recovered. More times than she cared to think about. She probably didn't even know all the times. Could he learn to be more careful with his life now that it was more fragile? What if he forgot at a vital moment. Habits die hard, especially habits that are eight centuries old. She looked over at his smiling face as he set the table. He's so deliriously happy. It's good to see him happy. He deserves a chance a chance at a normal life. Lord knows he's had his share of misery and grief - a lot of which was a direct result Lacroix being his master. And what of Lacroix? What would he do if he found out Nick was mortal again? She placed the plates on the table and poured herself a fresh cup of coffee. "You know, I don't even know if you like coffee or not. I don't know if you like eggs or how you like them cooked. I don't know...." He walked over to her and gently put his fingers to her lips, stilling the parade of words from her mouth. Then he lovingly placed a kiss on her lips with his hands on her shoulders. "Nat, I haven't eaten in a very long time. They didn't have coffee back during the time of the crusades. *I* don't even know, but I want to try. I want to try everything. How else am I going to know what I like or don't like?" Then he placed a kiss on her forehead, pulled back and looked into her brown eyes. "Now stop worrying so much and let's eat. I just realized how hungry I am." They both walked over to the table and sat. ******************** Nicholas DeBrabant slept fitfully that day, tossing and turning. At one point he sat straight up in bed, his eyes glowing yellow and his canines descended, his forehead drenched with bloodsweat. "Natalie! Natalie!" He looked around and realized he wasn't at the loft. It took him several minutes to orient himself to where he was and that he was no longer Nick Knight, homicide detective or a vampire trying to find a cure to become human again, but Nicholas DeBrabant, a vampire who would always be a vampire , having been separated from everything human in him. At the same exact moment, in the loft one Nick Knight sat bolt upright in bed, dripping wet with clear human sweat, his heart pounding a hundred miles a minute calling "Natalie! Natalie!" He looked around the room and to see that he was in his own bed in his own bedroom, alone. He lay back down with a sigh. After they had both eaten breakfast and done the dishes together, they had stood face to face and gazed into each other's eyes. How long had they waited till they could be together like this without having to risk Natalie's life? He remembered holding a lock of her hair and drinking in her scent as only a mortal human man could. As he had moved to kiss her it had been Natalie who had pushed him away, then turned from him. Was she crying he couldn't tell, but there had been a catch in her voice, "I don't think this is a good time. There's a lot of things you need to get used to in your new life. I think it would be best if we took this slowly. One step at a time." That said, she had picked up her purse and coat and left without another word, without even looking back at him. Why did he get the distinct impression that their relationship was over even before it had a chance to begin? ******************** "Natalie Lambert! You are being absolutely ridiculous about this whole thing." she reprimanded herself on the drive home, "What is there to be afraid of? He certainly can't bite anymore." The tears flowed unchecked. The only man she had ever really wanted had been this close to her, willing and finally able to fulfill her every fantasy. All she could do was turn tail and run out the door as fast as she could like a scared rabbit. "Oh, man am I stupid. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this situation?" There had been many a night when she had awakened from dreams of Nick holding her, kissing her, making love to her. Sometimes with the beast rearing it's head the feel of his fangs sliding into the flesh of her neck and her life flowing into him, giving herself to him without boundaries. Other times there was no beast between them, just the human Nick there with her. She pulled into her parking spot, closed her eyes and bowed her head, bringing her thumb and forefinger up to the bridge of her nose. She repeated to herself, "Everything's going to be all right. It's just got to be." She drifted off to sleep that morning remembering the gentleness and warmth of his touch as he had cupped her chin in his hands just before leaning forward to kiss her. Just before she had pushed him away and left. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 9 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He awoke with a start. Some abrupt noise had sounded in his head insisting on attention. As he fought his way to consciousness the phone rang a second time. "Knight here." "Nick, this is Joe Reese. I need you right away. We've got a situation here. We had the blood banks and hospitals staked out and the team we had at Scarborough General Hospital witnessed a shipment of blood being commandeered. They gave chase and the guy ended up in a house where he's been holed up with two hostages. Tracy's already on her way. Just a minute , I'll get you the address." Nick glanced at the clock, the sun would be down enough he could go out in about twenty minutes....That didn't matter anymore, did it? ******************** He rose and dressed in the black clothes he had worn the day before and entered the Raven. He was famished and needed the blood he knew would be found there. Bottled or warm from the source, he didn't care. He needed to feed, in feeding maybe he could forget. Forget the curse of her face, the feel and smell of her, her smile, the timber of her voice. She haunted his every waking moment and even in his sleep she did not leave him. She was lost to him forever now and wouldn't even know he was gone. Yes, she would know Knight had lost the vampire in him but she would not know that it went on existing, deprived of her. In the long dark night, he had gone so far as to imagine what her essence would taste like - sweet and warm something akin to vanilla and spice. She could fill the empty places he felt. The empty places that yawned threatening to swallow him. To obliterate his very existence. "Did you sleep well?" The silken smooth voice of his master came from behind him as he sat at the bar sipping the crimson liquid of life. Nicholas turned to greet his maker, to whom he had given himself. There was no reason why not to. The memories of the killing he had done in the past no longer haunted him. He had no fear of killing again. After all he had done it to merely survive. Who could blame him for following his nature after all. "Quite well, thank you." He lied. The last thing he wanted was Lacroix to know that Natalie haunted him, giving him a fitful days rest. The bar was only sparsely populated now, mostly with mortals so early in the evening. "What about your old life as a detective. What about our Dr. Lambert?" inquired Lacroix. "That was another life. It's over for me. I've given up the loft as well, if your wondering. There is nothing to keep me here anymore. I think that maybe I'll be moving on soon." He couldn't be speaking farther from the truth and he knew it. Natalie held him here the same as if he were shackled and chained here. Nicholas turned back away from Lacroix and continued to sip his drink. "Careful, Nicholas. You might be able to lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me." Nicholas stared after Lacroix as he walked away to the broadcast booth to prepare for his nightly Nightcrawler show. More and more of the vampire regulars were beginning to show up, Vachon among them. "Aren't you supposed to be at work or something?" DeBrabant looked at the younger vampire who had come up and seated himself by him at the bar, then away again taking another sip. "No." "Day off or vacation maybe?" "Neither." "You quit!" Nicholas turned to Javier, full body this time and replied with an air of annoyance, "If you must know, I just left." Then he picked up his glass and the bottle and made his way through the gathering crowd. ******************** Nick arrived at the barricade of Police cars with their lights flashing. He scanned the area and found Tracy. Nervously, he looked towards the focus of all the activity - A two story tudor house of twotone blue. The only movement he could detect were the flashing lights from the patrol cars. "Hey, Tracy. What we got?" He tried hard to keep the nervousness and fear out of his voice, but did a poor job. "Are you all right, Nick?" "Sure, I'm fine. What we got?" "What we believe is the murderer and architect of the blood houses holed up with an elderly couple. We're not even sure any of them are still alive." Suddenly a single shot rang out from the house. The officer's all ducked behind their vehicles almost in unison. Nick cowered there, shaken. The fear was so intense. He couldn't remember ever experiencing such a level of fear, even during his mortal days as a Knight. Tracy hunched down behind the car and stared incredulously at her partner. She had never seen this side of him before. She had seen him in a lot of situations since their original pairing, but she could not remember a time when she had detected fear of any kind in her partner. What would happen if they got into a situration where she depended on him with her life? He would not be able to respond in a rational manner. What had happened to him in the few days he was gone. Nick had been acting oddly since his return. This sudden display of fear was definitely not in Nick's character. "What happened, Nick. Are you all right?" She heard a whimper escape from his throat as he sat there with his hands over his ears. No response to her question was forthcoming. They all sat behind the cars, waiting for the suspect to make his next move. After a space of time and total silence, Captain Reese sent in two men. "Nick, It's okay. Your going to be all right. The suspect just killed himself after he killed his hostages." She reached up and pulled Nick's hands down after which he opened his eyes and stared at Tracy with a look of sheer terror in his. She was absolutely stunned. "This isn't like you. What's gotten into you?" "I....I don't know. I really don't know. I....can't help it. I'm so *afraid*." Then he got up and ran to his car and was gone. Tracy ran over to where Reese was, having witnessed the whole thing. "Now where does he think he's going?" "Cap, I don't think he's ready for duty yet. He needs some more time off before someone gets hurt. "Yeah, I think your right. Must be burnout. I've seen it lots of times. If something doesn't happen soon, we're going to lose him permanently. Damn ! He's one of the best detectives I've got. I sure would hate to lose him. " The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 10 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On his way home he stopped to buy a fifth of Vodka. As he paid the attendant, his hands shook. Nick had over half the bottle drank before Natalie arrived. She walked over , picked up the bottle and eyed the level, "Don't you think you're going a little heavy on this stuff?" He grabbed the bottle from her and filled his glass again then proceeded to drain it just as quickly. "Captain Reese told me what happened tonight. Do you want to talk about it? " "I've lost my nerve, Nat. In all my 800 years, *that* has never happened before. I just couldn't face dying." His speech was beginning to slur and his eyes were becoming bleary. "Let's not worry about that now. We've got plenty of time to work this out. Right now we need to get you up to bed so you can sleep this off." She took the bottle and dumped it down the sink then helped him to his feet. Together they stumbled up the stairs and to Nick's bed. He lay across the bed and Natalie removed his shoes. "You know what, Natalie? I love you. I couldn't live without you." "Yes, I know. Now let me get these covers over you." There was a pause then he began to sob. Nick grabbed her by the shoulders so suddenly it startled her. "I'm so afraid of being alone. I don't want to die alone, Nat." She pulled his hands from her and folded them under the covers, "I know. Everything's going to be just fine. Now close your eyes and relax." His breathing relaxed and she knew he was asleep before she turned out the light. "Good Night, sweet prince." she softly whispered, then quietly pulled the door shut and was gone. ******************** Nicholas left the Raven by the alley entrance. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, then launched himself into the air. He was being drawn like a moth to a flame. He had to see her, to smell her. He couldn't live another minute without her. He landed lightly on the roof of the coroner's building. Her car wasn't there, yet. He decided to wait. His patience was rewarded after less than an hours wait, when her car drove up and she got out. He looked around and saw no one about. As he swooped down, Tracy drove up and witnessed Nicholas grab Natalie then take to the sky again. He didn't see her until after he was committed to the act. It was too late to stop. He was committed to the act. Even though he was there and gone in an instant, she was still sure that Nick was the one who had taken Natalie. Natalie had tried to resist and was screaming before a hand was placed over her mouth. "Nick's a vampire! I don't believe it! It was right under my nose all the time. Now it all makes sense. He did die when he was shot in the parade warehouse. How could I have been so stupid?" "Vachon. I've got to find Vachon. Maybe he can help." She drove up in front of the Raven and eyed it with trepidation. The characters she saw going in and out of the door gave her the shivers. "I wonder how many of these guys are vampires." She braces herself and entered the dungeon of vampires and started looking in earnest for a familiar face. There he was, seated at the bar drinking.. .only one thing the red drink in his hand could be. She made her way across the crowded room being pushed or shoved more than once during her trip. "I have to talk to you." She shouted over the din. "What?" She grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him out the door and over to her car. "I have to talk to you, Javier." "Yeah, I need to talk to you too. It's about your partner." "What about Nick?" "He definitely looked like him, but he didn't acting like him. He's been sitting at the bar the past two nights doing nothing but drink." He was afraid to give away too much of Nick's secret. "That's not possible. He's been at work the past two nights." "Something's not right. How could he be in two places at once." "Wait, there's more. Just a few minutes ago I drove up to see Natalie at her office and just as I drove up I saw someone that looked an awfully lot like Nick grabbed her, then fly away. It didn't look like she was very happy about it." "Oh, that definitely complicates things just a bit, wouldn't you say?" Tracy grabbed Vachon by the lapel and got very close to his face, "You would tell me if Nick was a vampire, wouldn't you?" How could he. He was forced to trust her with his own identity. He had had no choice. She wouldn't yield to his persuasion. "Yeah. I'd tell ya. Now look, if a vampire has her, we better find her real soon for Natalie's sake. Where's Nick?" "I think he went home, Why?" "Let's go. What are we waiting for. Get in." and he was in the passenger seat faster than her human eyes could see. ******************** "Nick, are you in there? We have an emergency. Natalie's been kidnapped. Nick." then to Vachon, "He must have gone to bed or something. We've got to get in." The vampire with his enhanced strength pulled the door off it's hinges and set it aside, giving an-after you gesture to Tracy. Tracy headed straight up the stairs and to Nick's bedroom. After pounding on the door and yelling his name a few times, she entered and turned on the light. She walked to the bed and shook Nick. Tracy was rewarded with only a groan. "Nick, it's Tracy. You've got to wake up." Then she got a whiff of Nick's breath, "Whew, he's drunk." Just then Vachon arrived, "Look, we're going to have to get him up and in the shower. He's got to wake up." He stood there with a puzzled look on his face. This was definitely no vampire. This was a mortal man. The Nick he knew was a vampire. What was going on here? "Don't just stand there, help me get him up." He snapped out of his revelry and went over to help Tracy, who was attempting to put Knight into a sitting position. "Tracy, why don't you let me do this. Go make some coffee. Looks like he's going to need all the help he can get." "Sure." and she ran out of the room to get the coffee going. Vachon stood Nick up with his arm around him. "Come on, old boy. You've got your Doctor friend to save. I have a feeling your the only one who knows what's going on." He half walked and half drug his burden to the bathroom. There Vachon set him in the shower, clothes and all and turned the on water straight cold. "That ought to wake him up." Nick started to cough and sputter, thrashing about. He looked about, trying to orient himself when his eyes finally focused on Vachon. A look of recognition graced his face, "You! What are you doing here?" "I might ask you the same question. Your not the Nick Knight I know." "Yeah, I know. I'm human." Surprised, his eyes flew wide, "But how?" Just then Tracy walked in with the coffee. "Strong and black, just like you like it, I hope." The she handed the cup to Nick who had stood and turned off the water. He took a sip and grimaced. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit." "Natalie's been taken by someone who looks a lot like you." Vachon hesitated and looked over to Tracy to judge her reaction. He continued careful not to give away too much, "and he can fly." "WHAT!" The shock came from knowing his vampire double had taken Natalie. Tracy took it to mean otherwise. She looked at Knight then back to Vachon with her mouth open as if to explain further, then Vachon pretended to hypnotize Nick into remembering the time when he had found out Javier was a vampire. "I can always make him forget again." "Look, Tracy. I need to get out of these wet clothes. Can you go wait downstairs while I get dressed." "Sure." She turned and was gone. They waited in silence until they were sure she was out of hearing distance. "What's going on, Knight? None of this makes any sense whatsoever." "It will." Then Nick proceeded to recount the events that led up to the split with his vampire half. "Oh, so that's who's been hanging out at the Raven the last couple nights drinking blood like it was going out of style." "Yeah and that's who's got Natalie. Vachon, I don't think she's safe with him. When we split, all that was human in Nick Knight went with me. The vampire killer went with him along with all of my courage. I'm not even sure I could tell you where he went." "Come on, Nick. This is Natalie we're talking about here. Isn't she important to you anymore?" Knight looked at Javier, then back at the cup of coffee in his hands. "Sure , but I don't know what I can do against that thing." "That thing is a part of you. You know what he knows. Think about it. Is there somewhere where you would have taken her under these circumstances?" There was silence as Knight thought it over. "Wait a minute, there is one place. The CN tower." (The needle tower that graces Toronto's skyline.) Wouldn't that be ironic. To take Natalie to the same place to kill her that Serena killed a mortal in an effort to gain her mortality while he *watched* . "Yes, I think that's where he'll be with her, if it isn't too late already." "Let's get going...*Now*" Vachon grabbed Knight's arm as he moved past him, "What are we going to tell Tracy about all of this." Nick thought a moment. "We'll come up with something." "You know, we may not be able to salvage this. She's a resister you know." "Yeah, I know." and he pulled away from Vachon and went to dress The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 11 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It was very difficult for Natalie to keep her wits about her. She had to continually force down the terror. She thought to herself in an effort to use clinical detachment to keep from letting the panic overtake her, which in this case could prove fatal. and she found herself wishing he hadn't found his cursed cure. (her hope took it's last breath). That didn't help at all. It only made her realize if she was going to get out of this alive, it would have to be on her own. She couldn't count on anyone else for help. She began to look around her, careful not to move too much and risk being dropped. There was definitely something familiar about this vampire. *What* she wasn't sure of, but recognition stayed on the fringes of her awareness, mocking her. She finally got enough courage up to turn to see the face of her abductor. As she began to move a gruff voice growled in her ear, "Hold still or I might drop you, Nat." She stiffened when the realization hit her. "Nick. Nick, is that you?" There was no answer forthcoming. "Nick, you don't..." "The name is Nicholas, Nicholas DeBrabant. Not Nick Knight. Please respect that." Her head spun with the implications. She had never really discussed how Nick had regained his mortality, only vaguaries about a Native American Shaman vampire whom he had met in a very strange way. Now there are two Nicks, one human and the other vampire. Suddenly things started to add up. Nick had seemed strange because part of him was missing and here was that part taking her to heaven knows where for only one thing that Natalie could possibly think of. To bring her across or she would die in the trying. An unshakable knot of fear caught in her throat. "I'm sorry, Nicholas. I won't do it again. You see my Nick didn't tell me about you." she took a deep breath and braced herself. "May I ask what we are doing, Nicholas?" "You'll find out soon enough." "Okay, then. Where are we goi...." She was interrupted midword by a sudden drop in altitude. She gave an involuntary scream as she felt her stomach rise up in her throat. Nicholas chuckled. "This is where." He set her down, retaining a grip on her wrist. "You *will* stay here either on your own or I'll be forced to hold your wrist *tightly* and you know what that means. I am quite capable of causing severe damage to bones and nerves. It can be quite excruciating, they say." "I'll stay put. I promise." She held up her other hand as if to swear. He to release her. Nat rubbed her wrist to get some of the feeling back into the offended member. Where could she go even if she did decide to run. This vampire could catch up with her in an instant. No, she wouldn't take the chance to make a break for it and risk the ire of this Nicholas. She knew and felt safe with Nick, the Nick she had known these past years. Oh sure, there had been a few times lately when he had frightened her, coming very close to giving her the fatal kiss. Nick had thus far been able to keep himself in check. That Nick was at the loft in bed, drunk. "Why did you have to pick tonight of all nights to get roaring drunk." "What did you say?" he growled at her even though it was said in a low whisper, not meant for his ears. He knew she said something. With his super hearing he should have understood, but was preoccupied. "Nothing. It was nothing." He stood there, just looking into her eyes "Natalie, oh Natalie, I can't live without you." There was an edge of despair in that voice as he recognized the revulsion there. Nick had gained his mortality and what was left was standing before her, devoid of any hope for redemption, resigned to a hopeless existance. Why did he take *her*. Though this was a vampire as true as they come with the human portion torn away. They both must share the same memories and emotions. If that was true, then the hopelessness that Natalie could feel emanating from every pore of this creature was well warranted. There would be no more search for a cure, no more dreams of a normal life. He walked over to the edge of the landing and looked out over the city of Toronto. The lights gave out a warm glittering glow and he longed to be somewhere safe surrounded by... Breaking the thought, he turned back to Natalie, who hadn't moved an inch. He smiled. The smile was quickly replaced by a frown that creased his brow. She didn't move, just as she had promised...because she feared him. He turned abruptly back to the skyline. "You have nothing fear of me." "Thank you for your concern. I'll be afraid if the situation warrants it. I do believe that this is one of those times when fear has it's place." "Suit yourself." He turned and began to pace around the structure. "I don't suppose you know why your here?" "Oh, I understand perfectly well why I'm here. I seriously doubt that you know why your here, though." A grunt issued from the dark form as he continued on the circuit. "Why am I here? Why am I here?" His voice rose into a maniacal scream then he broke out in an insane laugh that echoed from every corner. "You want me to tell you why I'm here...excuse me, you want to know if I know why?" Calmly he advanced on her. She stood fast, disregarding, even fighting every nerve in her body that cried out to *RUN FOR HER LIFE*. He held her chin in a strong grip. "Aren't you afraid of me, Natalie. I'm that part of Nick that you've always wanted to kill, and *I* know it. Well, I'm not dead and I don't plan on going away. You got that." Then he roughly let her go. Natalie reached up to rub her now sore jaw. "I am here because *you* couldn't accept this part of me. I'm here because. .." he stopped and his demeanor became soft. Abruptly he turned and walked back over to the edge. "because I was ripped from Nick's very being by the tug of war that you and Lacroix played with our lives. My life was difficult before, but now I have been thrust into this living nightmare of darkness and loneliness." the edge on his voice once again wore thin and he paused to take a deep breath. "The few things in my life of darkness that made it bearable have been forever taken from me. My hope, all of my dreams , and you..." The last word had been said in such a small voice, Nat could barely hear. She could feel the words vibrate through every fiber of her being. He stared at her. The look of defiance came away from his face leaving only the desperate hopelessness that she now understood punctuated this situation . Something dark seemed to glisten from the corner of his eye then run downward as gravity took it's toll. He made no attempt to brush it away or to hide it. His stare burned a hole straight to her soul. She felt uncomfortably naked at that moment. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 12 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> They all rode in Nick's caddy. The drive seemed to take forever, though it could not have been more than eight minutes. Vachon was getting quite impatient. If it was just him, he could have made it in no time straight to the top. He had to defer to a more earthbound means of transportation because of the two mortals that accompanied him. Finally they arrived. Tracy was the first out of the car and was running for the fence when Vachon grabbed her by the wrist and drug her back to the car. "What do you think your doing?" "We've got to get up there and save Natalie." "Not you. Just Knight and I. Your staying right here and just in case you get any bright ideas about following us, I'm going to handcuff you to the car." Taking Tracy's handcuffs, he put one cuff around the steering wheel and the other around her wrist. "Give me the key." "NO." "The key!" louder and more insistent this time. This time she ignored him. Grabbing her by the chin and turning her face to him. "You don't want me to take it, do you? Besides, we're wasting time here. You don't want Natalie's death on your conscience do you?" She reached into her purse and pulled out the key, handing it to him. "She's got a spare." Nick chimed in. Tracy gave him a look that could melt Antarctica, pulled out the spare key and handed it over as well. "Is that all?" "Yes." She replied in a cold hostile tone. She couldn't stand the thought of missing the action. "I just don't want you to get hurt." That was the only part of the truth he could tell her. He could not let her see what or who was on top of that building. Gaining Tracy's ire was a little thing in comparison to preserve Nick's secret. "She's going to be hopping mad at both of us when this is all over." "She'll get over it." Nick held tight to Vachon's chest, from the back and they both lifted off and headed for the landing above. Nick could sense his double's presence. ******************** "My only hope is to bring you over to my side." He was right behind her in an instant, his arm around her forehead, pulling it to expose the pale expanse of her neck. Nicholas felt his fangs drop. "I have longed to taste you since the day we met. I awoke from my blood soaked dream of death and there you were. The hunger was so strong. I would have had you then and there if it wasn't for *him* there to stop me. He's not here now." He pulled back his head, baring his fangs and gave a low growl. He was about to sink his teeth into her tender flesh. "Wait...Nicholas. Don't I have a say in this? Don't I have the right to choose? Consent freely given. You told me that once. I had to give my consent freely." She began to tremble uncontrollably. He stopped and couldn't decide. He was so close to having what he had dreamed of for so long. If he were to let this opportunity pass, he would never get the chance again. "*He* told you that. Not me. I would rather show my face to the sun at midday than to allow you to go free." He paused and looked toward the edge as he felt a strange vibration at the center of his being quite unlike the feeling he got when Lacroix or another vampire was around. No, this sensation meant his doppleganger was here and would spoil all of his plans. Just then they appeared over the edge where he was watching. They alit several feet from them. Nicholas met Nick's eyes with a savage defiance. The mortal Nick cringed and backed away. Vachon turned to Nick, "What are you doing? You've stood up to him before." The fear was apparent on his face. "He couldn't hurt me before." "Come on man, you're Natalie's only hope. You know she doesn't want to be a vampire. You don't want her to be a vampire." They all stood, unmoving for the space of a few short seconds, that seemed to all, an eternity. A smile spread on the vampire Nicholas' face and he made a move to take Natalie again. Just as his teeth brushed her neck the full impact of the situation hit Nick , "STOP." he shouted, "You can't do this." Nicholas paused, then looked up at his advancing twin. "So, the mouse roars ." He chuckled to himself, his golden eyes gleaming. The vampire pushed Natalie away. After regaining her footing, she ran to Vachon for safety. Nicholas could get her again easy enough once he took care of this imposter that bore his face. The one who took all of his happiness from him, the one who had everything that he wanted - a normal life, a woman whom he loved, Lacroix off his back - the one who had the fulfillment of all his dreams and desires. The anger began to build towards this other man for he was the focus of all of his troubles, real or imagined. The gold in his eyes flashed anew as he drew back his lips and snarled. Natalie and Vachon looked on in aprehension at the amazing sight of two beings. They were so much alike, yet so different. The clouds swirled above and punctuated the scene below. As the distance shortened between the two, each focused their attention on the other to the exclusion of all else. Nick looked deeply into those golden eyes that reflected raw savage impulses. He looked beyond the threat that was implicit there to see the fear and sadness that lay at the heart of the creature. This creature that frightened him so, this creature that he loathed for all that it stood for in his life - his life since he had stepped into vampirehood. There he saw the blatant lack of respect for life , the selfish disregard for the needs of others. The suffering of the creature washed over him and he knew like he had never known before that this was a part of himself, a very essential part of himself. He had felt the pain of the creature ever present down through the centuries of his existence. This was his own pain, his own despair. This was the missing part of himself that made him who he was. Not just a cold heartless killer , but someone who was striving to make life better for all whose lives he touched. This was a part of him that he could not continue to exist without . As he neared the vampire, a savage snarl came as the beast bared his teeth in threat in an attempt to frighten off this man, the human part of himself, the one who had taken any chance of happiness from him, the man who had spurned his very existence. He snarled again more feral than ever as the mortal Nick reached out to touch the vampire Nicholas' arm. The vampire drew back as if burned. Undeterred Nick reached for the other with renewed commitment. "This is what must be. If mortality is to be found, it will have to be the two of us, together - as one." Nick whispered. The snarl died in the beasts throat and the ferocity faded from his face as the realization that this human counterpart had accepted him with all of his depravity. He saw the acceptance and empathy in those blue eyes that met his gold, draining them back to a mirror of their blue. Nick held the vampire by the shoulders now in a strong grip, a smile creased his face as the tears began to flow from his eyes, clear human tears mirrored by the vampire blood tears. It wasn't Natalie that he needed. This human part of himself represented all of his hopes and dreams. The human Nick needed him back as a part of himself. The two moved closer and embraced and the world fell away. The very molecular structure of the two vibrated as the merging began. A white flash enveloped them as the atmosphere around them rippled. They were once again of one heart, one body and one mind The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 13 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> His eyes flew open wide, at first unable to focus. He sat on a blanket on a stone floor before a fire. Any attempt to move was greeted with protest from every muscle and joint. He tried to stand and nearly succeeding in falling as the world went black again. He was caught by a strong pair of hands that buoyed him upright. "Hey, Nick. You all right?" He felt a soft slap on the cheek and opened his eyes. The strong, gentle face of the Medicine Man he knew as Raincloud came into focus. "I thought you were a goner there. Let me help you over to the table and I'll pour you some goat blood." Nick smiled weakly. He was ravenous after his ordeal. He downed two bottles of the red elixir. After catching his breath, he asked Raincloud, "How did I get back here?" "You never left." Nick's eyes grew wide in surprise," Wha...." "It's been four days since you left in *mind*. Your body was here with me all the time." The silence grew as Nick slowly sipped the contents of a third bottle, trying to soak in all that had happened. The Shaman sat quietly waiting while Nick meditated over the occurrence. "You mean all of this.....What I experienced, was a dream?" "You could call it a dream or a vision - one meant to give wisdom to the seeker. This is what you sought me out for. So you could find truth for yourself. ******************** Natalie settled down to her nights work. There had been a bad automobile accident the previous day, killing several people. Her work was cut out for her. Still her mind kept wandering back to Nick. "How could you just up and leave like that?" Her lament fell on dead ears. "I guess it's not like you have never done anything like this before. A few months ago I know you were getting bored with your life here." She set down her instruments and closed her eyes. "How could you do this to me, after everything we've been through?" When she opened her eyes, there was an imaginary Nick standing before her, conjured up by her grieving mind. Echoes of her voice had barely died when the air rang with the falling of instruments as she knocked over the tray she had been working with. She knelt down to pick them up as a flood of tears started, "Oh, Nick." The words seemed to echo back from the sterile metal and tile in the room. She put a hand over her face and sobbed for what seemed a very long time. Finally she stood. "Pull yourself together. You'll get through this. You have to. You did just fine before he came and you'll get along just fine without him." Just then she heard a gentle whoosh and felt the air around her. Whirling around she came face to face with Lacroix. "What are you doing here?" Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest, it beat so fast. "It has been a week since our last visit, Dr. Lambert. I am here to ask if you might have heard from our dear Nicholas." Her eyebrow shot up in puzzlement. "No, I haven't heard anything. I guess this means you haven't heard anything, either?" "No. That would be quite uncharacteristic of him to call and let me know he was having a wonderful time without me." He replied with heavy sarcasm. "I guess your right." She looked down to her hands as she fidgeted. She had recognized the concern, even though this ancient one had tried hard to disguise it. She knew his reasons were selfish by experience, but it was concern all the same. Just then the phone broke the silence that lay heavy between them. "If you'll excuse me." she gestured towards the phone. He gave a nod and she turned her back on him to answer it. "Hello, this is Dr. Lambert." "Hello, Natalie." That deep, smooth voice she had longed to hear was there and her heart jumped. There was no disguising her reaction she knew. She looked back at Lacroix to confirm that he knew. "Nick, is that you? Are you all right? Where are you? What have you been doing all this time? I've been so worried. Whatever possessed...." Lacroix's vampire hearing had no trouble in picked up the other side of the conversation, "Calm down Natalie. I'll answer all you're questions when I get back. I'll be arriving at the airport at about seven this morning. Can you meet me?" "Sure, Nick. I'll be there." She looked away from Lacroix once more. "Oh, and Nat. One more thing." "Anything." "Can you bring the Caddy just in case we need the trunk. You know how airlines get delayed sometimes." "Yeah, I'll see you there." She hung up the phone. "How did you...." When she turned back to Lacroix, he was no longer there. It was odd how he always knew when it came to Nick. There was a depth to their relationship, she could never pretend to understand. It spanned the spectrum from mutual hatred and loathing to love. The rest of the night was spent in anxious anticipation of Nick's arrival. He hadn't given her much to answer her questions. The last time she had seen him, he hadn't been in very good shape. Now that she thought about it, hisvoice did sound happy, at peace, even rested. She was glad of that. Things would get better now....maybe. Maybe she was seeing what she wanted to see. When she had told Captain Reese that Nick was on his way back, the big man had let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he hadn't lost one of his besta detective after all. Tracy had wanted to go to the airport and meet him with *Welcome Home* balloons and such. Natalie had used the excuse that he would be tired after the flight and that it might be better to wait. The real reason was partly because she didn't know what the situation. If he had to use the trunk of the Caddy, it might be real hard to explain away. Those were actually excuses that she used to cover the real reason, she wanted to keep him to herself. She was unwilling to admit *that* to herself. She would *have* to share him eventually, but she made sure this time was all hers. ******************** Nick was quite uncomfortable flying. Hadn't it been quite recently that his partner of three years had been killed during a routine prisoner transfer while on an airplane that had been blown out of the sky. "What are you thinking of so intently, Moonwind?" Moonwind was the name chosen by Nick during the ceremony of naming that they held after the vision quest had concluded. Raincloud had insisted on him taking a name and becoming an honorary member of the Atfalati tribe. He had conducted the ceremony in Tualatin, the language of his people. Doing so in honor of his ancestors and Nicholas' newfound self awareness. "I had someone close to me die recently in an airplane mishap and I was just thinking of him." "Flying makes you nervous, doesn't it?" "It always has." The wiseman nodded, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes to rest. Nicholas watched as the deep lines in that weather worn face relaxed. Without thinking his hand went to the amulet that hung around his neck. Raincloud had made it to always remind him of the valuable wisdom he had gained in such a short time. As he placed it around his neck, Raincloud stressed to him. "You have learned something about yourself that has taken you your whole life to find. Don't ever let that knowledge slip away." Nick smiled as he remembered the gentle touch of Raincloud's hand on his shoulder when he had said those words. He was struck once again by the sheer wisdom of this vampire. He was barely a quarter his own age, yet he felt the younger in the relationship. Nick closed his eyes and leaned his head back to rest as well. The Thin Line Between Dark and Dawn Part 14 by Robbi Egersdorf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Natalie had been surprised to see that Nick had brought home a friend. Their greeting had been short and nervous. The drive to the loft had been in silence. They had arrived just as the sun was reaching the level that would be dangerous to their vampire physiology. They took time to sit and relax, finishing off the last of Nick's reserves. Nat had set and stared, saying nothing the whole while. "I think I'll go home. I'm getting tired. It's been a long night." She got up and gave a yawn, walked over towards the door. Nick met her halfway. "Wait a minute, your not leaving that easily." His voice was so gentle and deep, it sent a shiver through her. She looked at him and said nothing. There was no attempt made to continue to the door. Her facial expression gave Nick no clue to the inner turmoil that bubbled just below her cool exterior. Raincloud rose and yawned. "I think I'll turn in, if you don't mind." He could see that they needed their privacy. Nick looked away from Nat to Raincloud. "Yeah, sure. Let me show you the way. I'll let you have my bed and I'll take the couch." "I don't want to inconvenience you." "You won't be. Come on. Let me help you carry that." They split the luggage and went up the stairs. After a few minutes Nick descended the stairs in anticipation of telling Natalie his story and was stunned to realize she hadn't moved. There was only a subtle change in her posture. Now he could see her shoulders heaving in sorrow and he could hear the soft weeping. He came to her and took her by the shoulders. "Tears for me?" "Yes, tears for you!" She said between clenched teeth and the dam broke. All the emotions - worry, fear, anger took hold. "How dare you leave like that." She reached up and smacked him in the chest, "You didn't even stop to consider how I would feel." She smacked him again. He began to retreat as she advanced on him. "You didn't even call to tell me not to worry," Smack, "Not only me, but everyone down at the precinct has been worrying about you. I don't know why I even bother with you." And she folded her arms and turned her back on him, and the torrent of tears flowed even heavier. "I know I've been inconsiderate and I'm sorry. I did call your place and you weren't there and for some reason your crazy answering machine wouldn't work." She turned on him again. "You could have called me at work. I'm not the only one you could have called. There's Captain Reese or Tracy...." "Okay, Okay. I admit it, I was an A # 1 jerk. I should have tried harder.. . Do you feel better now?" She stood there dumbfounded for a second. She started to laugh and Nick followed. The anxiety slowly dissipated. "Even Lacroix has been wondering about you lately. He came to see me last night just before you called. It was like he knew you were going to call or something." This was going to be difficult. He wonder how much of this was because of the vision. Nick's mind wandered back to the last night he had spent with Raincloud in his domain. They had sat out under the stars and enjoyed the tranquility of the Earth. "Moonwind, after your experience, I need to go back with you to Toronto to make sure you don't run into any problems that won't resolve themselves. You see, you really weren't alone during your experience. In laymen's terms , It's was if you pulled the shadows of people to you to play out their parts. As a result, each will react towards you as if they were there. They will not be conscious of why they feel the way they feel." "I see. My coworkers and my friends will act as though I had actually done those cowardly things and Natalie will act as though I had actually kidnapped her, then came and rescued her." "Exactly. Sometimes it takes a while for the person to work through the feelings their shadows have brought to them. There are times when a person refuses to let go of the feelings, no matter how unreasonable or unfounded. Besides, I want to see Vachon again. It has been such a long time. I need to get out of this place for a while." "Great, you can stay with me, if that's all right." ******************** He came back to the present and Natalie's dilemma. "Come, let's sit. I have a lot to tell you and I know there's a lot you want to know. But first, I have something for you. He pulled a small box from a bag that had been sitting on the table. A peace offering. "Here." He handed her the plain looking box and a huge smile crossed her face. "A box of Idaho Spud bars! How did you know that they're one of my favorites?" She reached over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. When she pulled back the smile was gone. "I don't know why, but I get the feeling I should be afraid of you." "Don't worry, Nat. Hopefully that feeling will pass. It's one of the things we need to talk about." He put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the couch where they sat in amicable discussion most of the morning. "So, Raincloud says my shadow - Is that what you called it?" Nick nodded. "That my shadow experienced this kidnapping and rescue and now I have those feelings to work through." "That's how Raincloud explained it to me. Oh, Nat. I've missed you so much ." Leaning over her gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "But I do need my sleep." He yawned "If you don't mind?" "Sure. I'll get out of your hair. I've had a long night too and should get some rest as well. Thanks again for the gift. I'll see you tonight ******************** "I'll take you to the Raven before I go to work. That's where Vachon hangs out. There's someone I need to see as well." "Your master?" "In a manner of speaking, yes. We don't get along well in the best of times though. Let's say we have a difference of opinion. I want to live my life my way, he just wants to live my life." On the drive to the Raven, Nick tuned in the Nightcrawler on CERK radio. The dulcet tones of Lacroix's voice filled the interior of the car and reverberated into Nick's mind. "...There is a thin line between dark and dawn in all of us. Most of us spend our lives moving freely between dark and dawn in our day to day or shall I say, night to night existences. Some preferring the dawn, spending most of their lives in the light, ignoring the existence of the other. Then there are those of us who prefer the dark and are held enthralled by the enticements and rewards thereof. Whichever you may be, this one thing you must remember - There is no dawn without the dark." Nick pulled up in front of the Raven and switched off the Caddy. He sat staring at the front door of Lacroix's den. "Aren't you coming?" "I'll be with you in a minute. Go ahead." He continued to stare at the Raven's front door. Natalie had told him that Lacroix was wondered about him while he was gone. Nick pondered on how all of this would affect his master. Getting out of the car, he entered the dark world of the Raven. The Hangout of the vampire community. He could sense a good number of vampires among the mortal crowd, which was just beginning to reach it's peak for the night. He made his way between jostling bodies who were dancing to the music that was now playing on CERK. He spied Vachon and Raincloud at a table in the corner in animated discussion. He walked over to say hi. Vachon took one look at Nick and had to look a little closer. Yes, this was the Nick Knight he knew. Everything seemed to be in order. He thought to himself how strange it was that he had to double check. Nick looked over to see Lacroix just leaving the broadcast booth for a break and some refreshment. Lacroix felt the familiar tug that denoted Nicholas' presence. He looked over and gave his son an irritated sneer. Knight couldn't help but laugh at the reaction he got. "Now that's a reaction I can live with. Hey guys, I've got to go. See you later." and Nick began to make his way over to Lacroix. "It's nice to feel missed." Nick greeted his master who glared back at him. Lacroix could feel the irritation rise in him as Nick approached, why? He hadn't a clue. "I take it you enjoyed yourself." "Very much. I've got to go to work now. I'll be seeing you around." and turned and walk out the door. Lucien just stared after him in stunned silence as he sipped from his goblet . ******************** "Knight, in my office." Captain Reese called to Nick when he saw him enter the precinct. "He's not wasting any time, is he?" he said aside to Tracy who was shuffling papers on her desk. She looked up and smiled. "He really was worried about you while you were gone. You may not be able to tell it now." It seemed strange to Tracy, but she felt almost motherly towards Nick. She had never felt that way before. Could it possibly be because she had helped him back to the loft after he had collapsed that night on the job. She thought about it then dismissed it . Absently she began rub her right wrist. Nick entered the Captain's office and closed the door behind him. "What's up, Cap?" "I want you to sit behind a desk for a while. I can't have you turning tail and running whenever it gets hot out there. I have to be sure you will be there when your partner need you." "Captain, I've never run away from a fight and you know it." "Yes, I know it. Your one of the best I got right now. I just have this bad feeling." Nick opened his mouth to protest. "Just humor me Nick." Reese cut in and Nick knew there would be no arguing him out of this one. He would have to endure being behind a desk for a time , at least until Joe Reese was able to work through the feelings left behind by the vision. "I won't take any arguments. Do you hear?" "Yes, sir." Nick turned and left. "That wasn't so bad, was it." He said to no one in particular. Nick went back and sat behind his desk, leaned back in his chair with a self satisfied grin on his face and his hands laced behind his neck. "It's good to be home." ******************** When he arrived at the loft that morning he found all of Raincloud's belongings gone. He looked about and felt, once again how lonely this place could be. He noticed that there was something new. An easel was set up in the middle of the main room near the fireplace, with an antelope skin draped over it. On it was painted the depiction of his journey to Raincloud's cave, his fall from the sky, the snake bite, his split into two then back to one. Nick smiled, remembering how good it felt to be *whole*, as much as that was possible. There was a note attached to the painting. He opened it and read : "Nick, I see that you are going to be all right. When you need me again - and you will - look for me and I will be there. Remember, every man has his own identity and he has his own purpose in this world. There is a way to finding that identity and how to carry out that purpose. No man should interfere with that. Changes that take place in the external world occur first in the mind. Your vision quest has made some changes in your way of thinking. The chang