Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 23:40:24 -0700 Subject: Torn (1/2) Message-ID: <19980728.234105.14734.1.CjSachiko@juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 1.49 X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-178 Status: Disclaimers: The characters belong to Sony et al. I'm just borrowing them for a while. "Torn" is by Natalie Imbruglia and the lyrics are indicated by **. Permission granted to archive at www.fkfanfic.com. All others must ask permission first. My thanks to Sue for betaing this for me. This is a piece of Valentine (faction) fic and has >small< references from BMV and LK. I am an N&Npacker at heart, honestly! ;-) All comments welcome. :+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+: Torn (1/2) by Cj http://members.tripod.com/~EngrCj (c) July 1998 :+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+: She had hunted them down. It had taken her six months and nearly all the money she had. She watched them from behind the corner of a building. The street was empty save for two pedestrians entering a night club called The Pale Moon. It was near to dawn and the club was closed, but one of them had a key. She watched them disappear as the door closed behind them. The sun would be up in another half hour, just enough time for her to get to her hotel. She turned around and let out a yelp of fright as a woman with a wrinkled visage pointed a finger at her. She hadn't heard the woman approach. "What do you want?" Natalie demanded as her heart pounded. "You will not find what you seek here." A putrid odor pervaded the air as the old woman spoke. Natalie heard the woman's dried lips crackling in the dewy air. "What is it you think I'm searching for?" Natalie asked, her curiosity piqued. "You seek the truth." The old woman cackled. She coughed before continuing. "You are seeking the light, but there will only be darkness. Those who think they search for light only find that it blinds them, plunging them into a darkness that *no* light can touch." The woman turned away and fled. Natalie stood there, shaking from the impact that the woman's statements had on her. She walked back to her car, filled with a feeling of dread. She reached the hotel and entered her room, covering the windows with the heavy drapes she had requested of the staff. Washing off the evening's grime, she thought about what she was going to do the following evening. She was frightened. She was going to confront LaCroix and Nick. She had nothing to protect herself. She fell asleep, into dreams haunted her memories. :*:*:*:*:*:*:Flashback:*:*:*:*:*:*: "Does LaCroix ever talk to you about faith?" "Faith is a mortal folly." "You cannot deny what I am!" :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*: **I thought I saw a man brought to life **He was warm, he came around like he was dignified **He showed me what it was to cry Natalie awoke in a sweat. The tendrils of distant memories still tangled her thoughts as she rose from bed. She showered, then dressed in a black dress. she thought to herself. She brushed her hair, leaving it untied. She smiled grimly and saw a thin, pale reflection of a woman stare back at her from the mirror. She touched the side of her neck, rubbing the scars to try to ease the burning. Shaking her head, her hair cascaded over the marks and hid them from sight. She left the hotel, not looking back. She found herself at The Pale Moon. There were many patrons, vampire and mortal alike. She waited at the bar, asking for a glass of merlot. She sipped it, watching the warm and cool bodies as they writhed on the dance floor . She felt a coolness flow up and down her spine. She turned around. From the corner of her eye she saw them enter the club together. Nick's eyes widened in recognition as LaCroix met her eyes and gestured for her to join them. She took in the last of the merlot in a single draught and made her way to them, past the dancers. "Natalie." Nick greeted her stiffly, then made his way to the bar without another word. She nearly followed him, but LaCroix had grabbed her arm, preventing her pursuit. His grip was icy cold and painful. "Shall we talk?" LaCroix's smooth voice pierced her pain, enhancing it. When she nodded, he pulled her towards the back of the club, to the private rooms. She took one last glance at Nick, still seated at the bar, before he was out of her field of vision. He had made no other acknowledgement to her existence nor any attempt to rescue her from LaCroix. **Well you couldn't be that man I adored **You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for **But I don't know him anymore **There's nothing where he used to lie **My conversation has run dry **That's what's going on, nothing's fine I'm torn LaCroix led her to the last room in the hall. He released his grip on her. She rubbed her bruised forearm. Taking a keyring from his pocket, he unlocked the door. He opened the door to reveal a room decorated with sparse decorations. The room was dimly lit. He motioned for her to have a seat on the love seat. She sat on the edge of it. He was a blur as he moved behind her and pushed her head to one side and exposed her throat. She didn't resist. She felt his cold breath on her neck. He sat behind her, pulling her back against his chest. "I see the wounds have healed . . . somewhat." His long fingers caressed the indentations and lines caused by the healing of those horrible injuries she had received. She remained still in his arms. "So, tell me, Doctor. Why did you come here?" He began to rub her scars with a hypnotic motion. "I want the truth." She answered simply. Every touch caused her to remember the pain that had caused each of the wounds at her throat. The pain . . . and the pleasure . . . of the first wounds she had received. "You're dying." She didn't answer. "I see you realize that." He stopped rubbing her scars. He released her head and allowed her to move, but maintained a firm grip about her waist. "I want to live." She stated it simply, honestly, and without reservation. She wanted to live, with or without Nick. Her life belonged to no one. She twisted her head and looked into his eyes. LaCroix laughed. "And how do you suppose you're going to accomplish *that*?" He released his grip on her and stood up. He retrieved a bottle of bloodwine and poured a glass. "Is this what you desire to become Natalie?" The smooth tones of his voice entranced her. He held the glass up to the light, examining the clarity of the liquid. He took a deep breath of the scent before downing the contents. His eyes glittered in the pale light. He set the glass down and stood before her. She was staring at the glass, watching the scarlet film fade and form a pool at the bottom. He moved to sit behind her again. More gently this time, he turned her head to one side and began kissing the scars. He asked the question again. "Is this what you desire?" :*:*:*:*:*:*:Flashback:*:*:*:*:*:*: "I have faith that there is a future for us . . . Here, as we are now . . . or somewhere else . . . I believe in you . . . I trust you." "I'm afraid of what might happen." "Don't be. I'm not afraid to die. Or of living an eternity in darkness. As long as I can spend it with you. All I have is faith . . . And love. All I'm asking is for you to love me. I trust you . . ." :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*: **I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel **I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor **Illusion never changed into something real **I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn **You're a little late, I'm already torn LaCroix trailed kisses down the nape of her neck, savoring the scent of the blood flowing through her. She was pliable, not resisting anything he did. She shivered each time his sensual lips met her skin. Nick's face flashed before her, then faded as she allowed her desire to wash over her. LaCroix's kisses were soft and gentle. She sighed as his breath brushed her ear. He whispered the question for the third time, "Are you certain you want this?" She answered by turning her head and kissing his lips. She drew back, tracing his cheekbone with her finger. "I don't want to die . . . I refuse to be a victim, living a lie to my death." "And what about Nicholas?" LaCroix asked, his eyes held hers prisoner. She bowed her head down, shutting her eyes tight. :*:*:*:*:*:*:Flashback:*:*:*:*:*:*: "I do not love this woman." "Bring her across." "At least she is one to improve our kind's reputation . . ." :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*: "Nick has made his decision . . . and so have I." She opened her eyes and her mind to LaCroix's presence. "Nicholas has always been spoiled. He took what he desired, not caring about the consequences. He created his quest for mortality . . ." LaCroix's words were edges with sadness. "He created an illusion. Unfortunate for him that illusions are just that, dreams that cannot be captured." She caressed the hand that touched her cheek. He captured her hand within his, and lightly kissed her palm. He closed his eyes, inhaling her mortal scent. His fangs had extended. The points lightly brushed the skin of her wrist as he kissed her there. He pulled her close. Natalie felt a twinge of terror as he brushed her hair away and exposed the scars once again. "I refuse to spoil Nicholas any longer. I have no illusions about what I want." He reared back his head and sank his fangs into her neck. Natalie's neck seared with pain, a pain she allowed herself to plunge into. She wrapped her arms about LaCroix's head, wishing him to read all that she was. LaCroix saw many things in her blood. She had been betrayed by one she had thought she loved, and who she believed to reciprocate that love. He also saw a shadow of a feeling . . . of desire . . . for him. He caressed her hair, comforting her as she whimpered from the intensity of her betrayal. She relived the memories that LaCroix offered about the betrayals he had suffered from Nicholas. ** So I guess the fortune teller's right ** Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light ** To crawl beneath my veins and now ** I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much ** There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn "Drink Natalie." LaCroix bit his wrist and held it to Natalie's lips. At the scent of blood, her nostrils flared and she grasped his wrist tightly. The blood flowed into her mouth, filling her with life . . . eternal. She drowned within the darkness that would forever be hers. :*:*:*:*:*:*:Flashback:*:*:*:*:*:*: "Lacroix, have you ever had faith in anything but yourself?" "I've seen too much." "Well then maybe I haven't seen enough." "Nicholas, be done with her. We must move on. You can not deny what you are." :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*: She later awoke to LaCroix's insistence that she drink. Something hard and cold touched her lips. The scent of it hit her and she doubled over in hunger. She grabbed the bottle and gulped the blood. After she finished three bottles, she lay there in LaCroix's arms as her body accustomed itself to the constant pounding of her senses. Every sound and smell was sharper, clearer. She sensed Nick was still at the bar, drinking himself into oblivion, or so he hoped. She felt a slight tug on her mind and she turned around to face LaCroix. "Will you return to him?" LaCroix asked. "I . . . I don't know yet." She sighed and lay in his arms, trying to get some comfort from the closeness that they now shared. "How does one forgive, when it hurts so much?" A single blood tear ran down her cheek. He wiped the tear away and kissed her lips, urging her to open up to him. She did and returned the kiss with tenderness . . . and gratitude. **I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel **I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor **Illusion never changed into something real **I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn **You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn. Outside at the bar Nick knew the deed had been done. He was angry, nearly breaking the glass in his hand. The bartender gave him one look, and Nick released the glass. It shattered against the bar counter. The bartender proceeded to clean the mess, ordering Nick to pay and leave. He felt a slight tugging of his bond with LaCroix, but ignored it. Natalie left the back room to see how Nick was handling her decision. She sensed turmoil from him . . . and concern . . . and guilt. He saw her from the corner of his eye, but ignored her presence. He paid, then left the club. **There's nothing where he used to lie **My inspiration has run dry **That's what's going on, nothing's right, I'm torn Natalie watched him leave. She made no motion to follow him. LaCroix came up behind her and embraced her, to comfort her. She had eternity to wait for Nick's return. **I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel **I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor **Illusion never changed into something real **I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn **I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel **I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor **You're a little late, I'm already torn. http://members.tripod.com/~EngrCj