Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1999 12:02:16 EST From: Judy Freudenthal Subject: Transitions 00/? To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU I generally make it a rule not to post my stories until they're finished and beta'd, but with this being World AIDS Day, I knew it was the perfect day to start posting. Transitions follows Devastation (which followed Nightmare) and won't really make a lot of sense if you haven't read the first two stories in order. Nightmare is available at fkfanfic. Devastion is available from me if you can handle a large file. (DanaKnight@aol.com) You must see "to be continued..." at the bottom of every part to have it all. Since Devastation left off with a cliffhanger..... here is that part. A month later Natalie was seated at her desk in the morgue finishing a report that the Captain wanted as soon as possible when the phone rang. "Lambert." "Dr. Lambert, a dead body's been found," an officer's voice told her before giving her the address. She was out the door, jacket and purse in hand, as soon as she had hung up. Natalie quickly arrived on the scene and approached the first officer she saw. He pointed her to the body. It was a dark haired male about mid-forties. Natalie squatted down to examine him. Before long she had finished the preliminary examination. Tracy watched Natalie, knowing that the medical examiner would approach her sooner or later. She saw Natalie head for her and fought to keep her emotions in check. "That guy looks like Swiss cheese. What happened?" Natalie asked as she began to examine the gash on Tracy's forehead. She saw that it was not too deep and turned her attention to Tracy's bloody shoulder. "Nick and I were following up on a tip when all a sudden it was raining bullets. I took one in the shoulder. I must've hit my head when Nick knocked me out of the way. He saved my life. That one over there was already dead when we arrived on the scene. What's your take on him?" "He's been dead less than an hour. I would say cause of death is multiple gun shot wounds. I counted at least eleven bullet holes. I'll know more after I get him on my table." Natalie realized she hadn't seen or heard Nick since she arrived. She wondered if the stunned look on Tracy's face was from something other than her own injuries. "Where's Nick?" Natalie asked, beginning to panic. She started in the direction Tracy had been staring. She must've somehow missed the officer down bulletin. Tracy tried to stop her but couldn't. "Natalie, you don't want to go down there." Tracy was trying to hold back her tears. "I have to see him," Natalie said. She couldn't believe Nick was laying down there badly injured. Natalie walked over to where Nick was lying. She had to make sure he was alive. "Tracy, I need you to remember as much about what happened as you can," Natalie said, trying not to panic and barely succeeding. "We arrived and everything seemed fine. It wasn't until we got over here that all hell broke loose. It was a trap, and we fell into it. Nick risked his life to save mine. He put himself into the line of fire for me. Before I could react, the bullets hit him." Natalie examined Nick's body, her panic rising several notches when she saw the open wounds. She knew they should've closed up by now. She counted four bullet holes in his clothing, one where his heart was, one in his lower shoulder where his lung would be and two in the abdomen. "Natalie, he never had a chance. He was probably dead before he hit the ground," Tracy said, devastated, yet trying to hold it all together and barely managing to. She couldn't even begin to understand how Natalie must be feeling as she examined her dead husband. Tracy knew she could never be that strong. Tears ran down Natalie's face despite her attempt to stop them. She wasn't entirely sure why she was crying. Was it because Nick would be forced to move on and leave her behind? Was it because she would have to face the disease without him? Was it because Nick wasn't healing like he should've been? Natalie completed her onsite investigation, too in shock to fall apart. "Take the bodies to my lab. I'll be there as soon as I can." "Natalie?" Tracy asked, surprised and quite concerned. Natalie didn't respond, but headed for her car instead. Natalie quickly arrived back at the coroner's building and changed into her scrubs. She found Nick's sheet draped body on her table. Memories of their first meeting flooded her brain. She allowed herself a brief smile before pushing the memories back down. Terri entered, seeing how distraught the forensic pathologist was, amazed at how well she was holding up. Terri knew that if that had been her, she would've lost it already. "Dr. Lambert, I can't let you perform this autopsy. It goes against all the rules." "Terri, please. It's the last thing I can do for him. Let me find out who did this. You've told me many times that I'm one of the best in the county. Doesn't he deserve that?" Terri thought that over, knowing the other M.E. on duty had a fraction of Natalie's experience and expertise. Detective Knight did deserve the very best. "Okay. On the condition that you make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's crossed. I don't want this coming back to bite us both on the behind." "No problem. Thank you," Natalie said, greatly relieved. She slipped into her smock and latex gloves. She was so grateful that she didn't have to do a real autopsy on her husband, knowing that she probably couldn't do that, not without completely losing it. Terri left. She couldn't believe she'd agreed to that. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to autopsy your own husband. She hoped she never found out. Natalie took a deep breath before pulling the sheet from the body. It scared her that he still had not started to heal. Their first meeting once again came to mind. She pushed it aside knowing she had important things to do and little time in which to accomplish them. She grabbed a unit of the emergency blood and a large bore needle. She jabbed the needle into Nick's stomach and squeezed the blood into him, praying that no one entered. After that Dr. Lambert took a closer look at the wounds, unable to learn anything further. She removed one of the abdominal bullets for closer examination, stunned that they were partly composed of wood. She quickly removed the other abdominal bullet along with the one lodged in his lung. She hoped her hands were steady enough to retrieve the one just digging into the outer edge of his heart. She carefully removed that one, pleased to see that his heart seemed to have escaped serious damage. She irrigated each wound after she removed the bullet. She used her magnifying goggles to make sure she had not left any wood splinters behind. As soon as the heart slug was removed, Natalie grabbed another unit of blood to hand him in case he woke starving. Dr. Lambert moved to her desk to fill out the required paperwork and figure out how to make it work without the tissue, blood and organ samples. Those would have to get "lost" in the system somehow. The paperwork would have to be strong enough to stand on its own. She kept an eye on Nick the entire time, not needing any new surprises in her life. She knew she needed help and picked up the phone, dialing a number. "Hello," came a relaxed male voice. "Vachon, I need your help. How fast can you get to the morgue? No one should see you enter." "I'll be there before you know it." to be continued in part one I don't own the characters, but the story is mine. If I did own them, they'd have had a much nicer life, and I'd have a lot more money. Each part should end with to be continued or its not complete. The order of this series is Nightmare, Devastation and Transitions. Each story picks up where the last left off and should be read in order. Send virtual dark chocolate and comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. Transitions part one by Judith Freudenthal 1999 Transitions by Judith Freudenthal Within two minutes Vachon entered Natalie's office. He saw her standing by the steel table caressing Nick's cheek, fighting back tears. "What happened?" he asked concerned when he saw how devastated she was. "They walked into a trap. Nick pushed Tracy out of the way, saving her life, but ..." Natalie said visibly upset. "And you need my help getting him out of here. Is Tracy okay?" Vachon asked, concerned, seeing the open wounds on Nick's body. "She'll be fine. I need you to whammy an orderly into believing he picked up the samples and have him sign this form." Just then the door rattled. Vachon threw the sheet back over Nick's face. An orderly entered, surprised to see a stranger in the morgue. Vachon saw that Natalie did not much care for him, it was not obvious, but it subtly came through. Vachon caught the orderly's eyes and matched his heartbeat to the mortal's. "You did not see me here. You will sign the form on the desk and take the sample case with you." The orderly signed the form and picked up the sample case, unaware it was empty. Natalie despised having to do that, but she had no choice. She had promised Nick she would protect his secret and was not about to let him down. "You will leave now. You will remember only that you picked up the samples and signed the proper paperwork. You will put this case down somewhere it will get mixed in with many others," Vachon said right before he broke contact with the orderly. The orderly left, taking the empty sample case with him. He set it down in another lab where a bunch of other sample cases were on a counter. He left the lab to continue on with his work. Natalie and Vachon were still in her office talking. "I know that an injured vampire heals better with another's blood," Natalie said, very concerned that Nick's condition had not changed. "The bullets that hit him were partially composed of wood. There was one in the outer layer of his heart." "That would explain his unconsciousness. Any trauma to the heart like that takes another's blood to heal." Vachon saw the fear in her eyes along with the sadness. He knew the fear was that Nick would not recover. Vachon bit his wrist and held it up to Nick's mouth. After the first few drops dripped into Nick's mouth, Nick grabbed Vachon's wrist and sucked until Vachon pulled away. Natalie found it a little hard to watch, but at the same time completely fascinating. These creatures required no medication, just the blood of another for near instantaneous healing. Nothing short of the sun, sharp sticks, fire or decapitation could kill them, or one disease she thought sadly. She watched as Nick's wounds closed, leaving the skin unblemished. Natalie handed Vachon a bag of their emergency blood supply, glad the expiration date had just passed so she would not have to explain where it went. When Vachon still seemed hungry she handed him a second bag. "Thanks. You won't get in trouble for this will you?" "No. Take the empties with you. Okay?" "Sure. No problem." Natalie handed Vachon her keys which she had dug out of her purse while he tended to Nick. Vachon nodded his understanding and took off at vamp speed with Nick slung over his shoulder, not wanting anyone in the morgue to see him and ask questions. Natalie had wanted to wait for Nick to regain consciousness, but could not risk anyone walking in on that scene. Natalie knew Tracy would probably head for the church as soon as she was released from the hospital, and then the loft to talk to her. Natalie was glad Tracy did not have the access code because she was in no way ready to deal with Tracy learning the truth and being furious that everyone lied to her. It was the only reason Nick's return to the loft was safe, or at least safer than the church. Natalie made sure the paperwork on Nick was as close to perfect as possible under the circumstances. She tried to keep her mind off the fact that their life here was over, knowing that if she did not she would never be able to finish what she had to without totally loosing it. She forced back the tears threatening a flood, and tried to ignore the growing ache in her heart. She worked to keep her hand from shaking as she signed the last report. Signing his death certificate was the hardest, most heartbreaking thing she ever had to do. Once done, Natalie stripped off her gown and headed for the changing room, knowing that the other coroner on duty could handle the autopsies on the other two bodies from the crime scene. She could not believe what she had just written up. It had to be the biggest fabrication of her whole career. And might well be the last one if she missed anything. She ran into Grace in the hallway just outside the changing room. "Natalie, I'm so sorry. I just heard. I was at dinner or I would've been here for you," Grace said, a tear running down her cheek. She was stunned. She could see the heartbreak in her friend's eyes. Grace wrapped Natalie in a big bear hug knowing she needed it. "I'm okay. I want to turn in the report and go home." "Report? Don't tell me you..." Grace said stunned. "I had to. He deserved the best." "How..." Grace did not know how Natalie could possibly do the autopsy on her husband or how their boss would have allowed it. Grace was now concerned for Natalie for new reasons, wondering what sort of psychological effects this would have on her friend. "I refused to let myself think of who it was, or look at his face. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I *never* want to have to do something like that again," Natalie said, barely able to contain the tears in her eyes. "I... I have to go... now." "Do you want some company?" Grace asked, quite concerned, seeing the deep sadness in her friends eyes, not to mention the tears fighting for release. Her heart broke for Natalie as she gave her another big bear hug. She felt Natalie return it, taking strength from her friend. "No. I need to be alone." Upon seeing her friend's expression grow more worried she said, "I'll call if I need to talk. I promise." "Are you sure you're up to driving? It wouldn't be a problem for me to drop you off at home." "I'll be okay." Grace nodded, knowing it was only partly true. Natalie continued on her way, wiping at her eyes, forcing the tears back, knowing she could shed them all later. Natalie ran into Terri a short ways down the hall. She had hope to avoid her boss, only because she was not in the mood to talk to anyone. "Are you okay?" Terri asked, concerned by the deep pain she saw in Natalie's eyes. "I'll be okay. Here's the report. Do you mind if I book off a little early?" "No. I'm surprised you came back at all. Take as long as you need." "Thanks." Natalie quickly changed into her clothes, wanting to get out of there before she lost it completely, not knowing how much longer she could keep from crying. She could feel the full impact of it all starting to hit, and knew that when it did, she would not be able to control her reaction. No sooner had she left the parking lot than the tears started. She had to pull into another parking lot because she was crying so hard she could not see. She let all the tears out, not wanting Nick to see her crying like this. After a while the tears let up and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose before heading home. She opened the windows to allow the cool air to help alleviate her red nose and puffy eyes, not wanting Nick to see them. The drive to the loft never seemed as long as it did that night. to be continued... Sorry this took so long. The characters were being difficult, real life took over, and I spent a weekend with Ger. Now I'm back, my arms healed, and I'm ready to post more regularly, real life permitting. Disclaimers in part 00. I want to thank my beta readers for all their hard work. This can be archived on FKFanFic, the ftp site, DNN, DNP, and LeeAnn's Underlying Fantasies. Send comments and virtual dark chocolates to DanaKnight@aol.com. Transitions pt 2 Natalie entered the loft, unsure what she would find there. She had so many different emotions running through her that she did not know what to feel. She was terrified that he might not be okay, that he would have to leave her, that feeling also made her incredibly sad. She was terrified of being on her own here now that everyone knew her secret. She was mad at him for getting himself killed, but glad he had saved Tracy. She was mad at Tracy for not being more careful, even though she knew it was not Tracy's fault. She was just plain furious that her life with Nick here in Toronto was over, and there was nothing she could do about it. Natalie saw Vachon looking around, being careful not to touch anything fragile. "How is he?" She asked, her worry clearly evident on her face. "He'll be fine. He's awake and has fed. You can go in there. I'll take off in a few minutes. Tracy will probably need me." He saw the evidence of her tears as her eyes were still a little puffy and her nose a little red. "Thanks for everything, Vachon," Natalie said, her gratitude coming through in her voice. "No problem. I'm sorry it had to go this way." "So am I." Natalie turned and entered her bedroom. She saw Nick lying on the bed with his eyes closed and started to leave. A tear trickled down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away, not wanting Nick to see it. "Nat, don't go," he said, softly. "You okay?" She asked as she walked over to the bed. "I'm a little sore, but I'll be fine in another hour or two. Nice work," he said with a grin. He sat up and motioned for her to join him on the bed, noticing the remnants of her tears. He held his hand out to her. She had to grin at his comment. Not many of her patients were able to compliment her work. She took his extended hand and sat down next to Nick. Leaning against his chest, she felt his arm wrap around her. "You scared the hell out of me." "I'm sorry." "I didn't even suspect it was a trap. I'm sorry I set our work back, and that I..." "I told Vachon to feed you. I knew it was what you needed. I'm the one who set our work back. But that's life. We'll just have to make a few adjustments to compensate for it," Natalie said. Each knew the other was avoiding the truth, that he had to leave. Neither wanted to be the first to admit it. He enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms and silently held her. She pulled him closer, relishing the sensation of being so close to him. Both enjoyed the other's company as much now as when they'd said their marriage vows. When he released her he saw the tears streaming down her face and tenderly wiped them away with his fingertips. She gently wiped the blood tears from his cheeks with her hand. "I don't want you to leave." She sighed, knowing they couldn't avoid the truth any longer. "I know you have to." "I didn't want it to end this way. Would you consider coming with me?" "I didn't want it to end this way either, but we don't have a choice. If I disappeared right after your death, Grace, Don, Myra and Jenny would think something had happened to me. They wouldn't want me to be alone now, especially knowing I have AIDS. There could be some really unpleasant questions at work because there is only paperwork to show I did your autopsy." Natalie said trying to keep her voice steady. "I do want to go with you, but a small part of me isn't ready to give up this life. Maybe in a few months…" Nick heard the pain in Natalie's voice as she spoke, and saw it in her eyes. Nick tightened his hold on Natalie. Natalie saw the pain in Nick's beautiful blue eyes and hated to be the cause for it. She held onto him harder, not ready to let go of their life together. "I understand. You're right," Nick said, sadly. She could hear the pain in his voice. "I'm glad they will be here to help you through it. At least you have them and your support group to turn to," Nick said, relieved she had people to help her through it. "I'm grateful for that, but it won't be the same. I had hoped we would've had more time together." "I know. Me too." "How long ..." She could not finish her sentence. "However long it takes for the arrangements to be made," he said, sadly. She was the best friend he'd had in a very, very long time. He did not want to leave her any more than she wanted him to leave. "You know, I would've had to move on in another year or two tops." "I know. I would've been prepared for that. Maybe I would've even been ready to go with you then. Will you be okay?" She knew he had no one to comfort him, which only made her sadder. "Yeah. It will take some time, but I'll survive," Nick said, sadly. "Maybe if we'd told Tracy, then she would've covered for you. We could've had one more year together," Natalie said, grabbing any last hope she could find. "I know. But I'm not sure she could've handled having a vampire for a partner. Remember, she didn't handle it to well when she learned Vachon was one of us." "You're right. We did the right thing. I just had to ask." "I'm glad you did. I had wondered the same thing." "Can I help you pack?" "Sure," he said, knowing she wanted to be with him as much as she could before he had to leave. He wanted to make as many memories as he could to take him through the long endless nights before him. He would miss the closeness they had developed over the years, especially since their wedding. "What about work?" "With some effort, I convinced Terri that because of my experience I was the best person to do your autopsy. The paperwork should stand up to intense scrutiny. It has to be my best fabrication to date. Signing your death certificate was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Nick saw how much that had hurt and once again tightened his hold on her, rubbing her back to soothe her and felt her arms tighten around him as she melted against his body. "I know. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said, looking down into her eyes. Her eyes met his and she knew she'd miss seeing those beautiful blue eyes. "It's another reason why I can't leave now. If I did all sorts of speculations would run rampant. Ones about if I had covered up anything. If everything had been too much for you and you had committed suicide, or if I was running off to do so, now that I was without you. Tracy and Grace would be stuck in the middle with no real answers to tell anyone." "Once again, you're right. I don't want to see them hurt like that." "You can stay here for as long as you need to." She hoped it would be several days, but knew it probably wouldn't be more than a day or two. "What about the people stopping by to offer their condolences?" "They won't stay long." Almost if on cue the doorbell rang. "Natalie, I know you're up there. Please let me up," Tracy's voice sounded through the intercom panel. "It's Tracy," Nick said. Natalie reluctantly pried herself from Nick's arms and headed downstairs. Nick stayed in their bedroom while Natalie answered the door. "Tracy, what are you doing here? You should be in the hospital or at least at home resting." Natalie noticed the bandage above Tracy's left eye and the sling supporting her right arm. "I'm okay. They just released me. I couldn't sleep. I thought you might need someone to talk to," Tracy said with tears welling in her eyes. She had never lost a partner before and it was tearing her up inside. Natalie embraced Tracy, being careful not to hurt Tracy's injured shoulder. Natalie led Tracy to the couch. "Trace, how are you doing?" Natalie asked, concerned, suspecting Tracy had signed herself out. It was the only way she would be out so soon. "I'm okay. The bullet didn't cause any permanent damage, but required thirteen stitches. No concussion. It took six stitches to close the gash on my forehead. These steri-strips are much better than the stitches in my shoulder. They patched me up and let me go. Reese ordered me to take the next few days off," Tracy said, knowing Natalie was concerned about her. "I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he gave up his life for mine. I feel so... I don't know. Maybe if I hadn't missed some obvious clue..." "Tracy, it wasn't your fault. The officers who did the follow-up told me it was a trap." Natalie wished she could tell Tracy that Nick was fine, but she could not handle that battle right now. It was bad enough that she had to go on without Nick, but having Tracy mad at her would be too much. "I know. I've never lost a partner before. I've lost very few friends this suddenly." "It never gets easier," Natalie said, having lost more than her share of friends and family. "It doesn't hurt any less when you're prepared for it." Tracy noticed the deep sadness in Natalie's eyes that came from losing many loved ones. She could not imagine how much that must hurt, especially adding Nick's death to that pain. "How are you holding up?" Tracy asked concerned. She laid her hand on Nat's arm for comfort. She'd heard the sadness in Natalie's voice. "It feels like someone cut out my heart, but I'll be okay. Eventually," Natalie said as a few tears ran down her cheeks and were immediately wiped away. "Natalie, you don't have to be strong for me. It's not healthy to hold it all in." "I know. I'm just not ready to think about life alone yet." "You're not going to be alone. All your friends will be here for you. I know it's not the same as having Nick there, but we will do our best." "I don't know what I'd do without them, without you." Tracy could not imagine having AIDS and losing your husband. She knew that Natalie would be a mess for a while yet and knew that she would not be handling it half as well if it were her. Tracy had heard the stories of how Nick and Natalie were meant for each other, and had to agree. She had seen the intense love between them and knew that they were each other's main support in her battle with AIDS. At the forty-fifth precinct Captain Schanke heard a knock on his door. "Yes, Jeffers?" "Here's something that might interest you." Jeffers nervously handed the Captain a slip of paper then left, not wanting to be there when his boss read the report. Schanke's face paled as he read the sheet. "No..." he said stunned, his voice barely more than a whisper. He knew Natalie must be devastated. He did not know whether to go straight to the loft or to tell his wife and have them go together. He grabbed his jacket and headed home. Myra heard the door open and headed for it, not expecting anyone. "Don, what's wrong? Is Natalie okay?" Myra asked, worried. She saw how pale and upset her husband was. She noticed the single tear track on his cheek. "Physically, yes. I don't know about emotionally." Don took a deep breath and motioned for his wife to have a seat. "Nick was killed in the field earlier tonight. I don't have any of the details." "Oh my God!" Myra said stunned, and deeply upset. Tears welled in her eyes, and one slipped down her cheek. She knew Natalie would probably be a complete wreck. to be continued.... See part 2 for all the disclaimers, archive permission, etc. Send comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. ALL parts MUST end with to be continued... to be complete. Transitions part 3 Judith Freudenthal 1999 Tracy entered the old church which Vachon called home and found him strumming his guitar in a candle lit basement room. "Tracy, what happened?" Vachon asked upon seeing that Tracy was injured. "Nick's dead. He died saving my life," Tracy said, breaking down into tears. "I can't believe he gave his life to save mine." Vachon wrapped his arms around her, careful not to hurt her injured shoulder. He wished she knew the truth, but could not tell her. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned. "I'll be okay." Tracy sighed. "It was a trap. Why didn't we suspect a trap? Why did he have to die to save me?" "I don't know. Sometimes it's how things are meant to be." He knew it was a lie. He knew Nick and Natalie were meant to be together for eternity. A part of him wished he would find his soul mate. "It's not fair. Nick and Natalie been through so much. They deserved a little happiness," Tracy said with more than a touch of anger in her voice. "I know." "I don't think I could handle it, if it was me. What is she going to do without him? It can't be easy having a disease that makes you an outcast, and then losing the one closest to you." "She'll go on because she has to. It won't be easy. She will really need all the loving support she can get," Vachon said, wondering if Natalie would leave with Nick. The loft's buzzer sounded about an hour after Tracy had left. "Natalie, please let us up," Don said, sadness in his voice. Once again Natalie reluctantly pulled herself out of her husband's arms and headed downstairs. She released the elevator, allowing her guests to arrive. When the door opened, Natalie saw both Don and Myra. They quickly entered the loft and embraced Natalie. Natalie returned their embrace, needing their support. "Natalie, I'm so sorry," Don said upset. He could not believe Nick was dead. "I know, Don. Thanks for coming over. Come in," Natalie said, as she escorted them to the couch. She and Myra sat on the couch, with Don in the overstuffed chair near it. "How are you doing?" Myra asked, worried. "I'll be okay. I'm not ready to think about being alone. I'm going to miss him so much," Natalie said with a little sob. She knew Nick was listening to every word and did not want to make him feel worse, but she couldn't help herself with these two, their closest friends. "You're not alone. You never will be," Myra said as she placed her hand on Natalie's. "I know nothing can take his place." "I don't know what I'd do without you two." A few tears ran down Natalie's cheek, which were quickly wiped away. "I'm here whenever you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. About anything," Myra said as she gave Nat's hand a gentle squeeze. Both ladies knew that if they hugged they'd completely lose it. "Same goes for me too, although I think she's probably the better listener. If you need a hug, though, I'm always available." Don said as he tried to keep from sniffling. He was trying to be strong for both his friend and his wife. "I appreciate that. Where's Jenny?" "She's spending the night with a friend, and doesn't know yet. I'll tell her in the morning. Would you mind if she wanted to come over?" Myra said. She knew her husband was having almost as hard a time with Nick's death as Natalie was. "No, I'm always happy to see her." Natalie wondered if this would undo all the progress she and Jenny had made. "How are you two handling it?" Natalie asked, sadly. "I can't believe he's gone," Don said still in shock. "I can't believe it either," Myra said. Both Don and Myra wondered what sort of an effect this would have on their friend's battle with AIDS and hoped it would not have a drastic negative one. Later, Nick and Natalie were packing up his most treasured possessions, being careful not to pack the most visible artifacts, so she would not have to explain why they were not in their usual place. She noticed the care he took in packing the small sculpture she had given him. She listened, fascinated, as Nick once again told her the stories behind each item. He would tell her the stories as many times as she wanted to hear them. The intercom buzzed. They did not know whether or not to answer. Natalie didn't feel like talking to any of their friends. She and Nick wanted to spend as much of their remaining time together as they could. "Natalie, I know you're in there." "I guess I have to let her up. Hide. I'll get rid of her." Nick nodded and headed for their bedroom. Once he was safely out of sight, Natalie pushed the elevator release button. A minute or two later Tracy entered the loft. "I heard you'd been granted a short leave of absence." "Yeah. I thought it was best that way. If I went in I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I'd just be in everyone's way." Natalie said, still upset over the fact that Nick would be leaving her life way too soon for her liking. "I heard you've also been given a short leave." "Yeah," Tracy grumbled. "It's partly because of my injuries and partly due to…" Tracy didn't continue, not wanting to further upset Natalie. Also, she had trouble saying that Nick was dead. "It's for the best. You know that," Natalie said. "I know," Tracy grumbled. Tracy looked around and saw that Natalie was packing some stuff up. "Do you want some help?" Tracy asked, remembering how sad she had been when Vachon had nearly died. "I need to do this myself. Do you understand?" "I think so. If you need to talk, call me." Tracy continued, "I always liked how Nick never treated me special because of my dad. He expected me to pull my own weight and take the blame for my own mistakes. I miss him." "Me too," Natalie said, before changing the subject before it got too painful for both of them. "How's the shoulder?" "It's doing fine. I should get the stitches out beginning of next week." Tracy decided that she would leave Natalie in peace to finish packing. "You're not leaving town are you?" "No. Just packing up some stuff." Tracy didn't know what to say so she silently walked to the elevator and took it down to her car. Once Nick was sure Tracy was gone he came back downstairs. "How are you doing, Nat?" Nick asked, concerned. He saw the pain in her eyes. He gently caressed her cheek with his fingers as he spoke. "It hurts. I know you have to leave, but I wish you didn't." A part of her was glad he was leaving before she grew sick again, as it would make their parting a little easier. She touched his cheek with her palm causing him to lean into her simple gesture of love. He wondered if part of the reason for her not coming with him was because she did not want him to watch her growing sicker over time. He wondered how long the drugs would work and how quickly her condition would worsen once the virus was immune to the drugs. "You do know that I'd never willingly leave you… no matter how bad things became." He again wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, pleased to feel her arms tighten around him. He kissed her on the lips as proof he meant what he said. "I know. It's one of the reasons I love you so much." Natalie said as she returned his kiss, then rested her head against his chest. Late the next morning at the Schanke household, Jenny entered, worried when she saw her mom's sadness. "Is dad okay?" "He's fine, honey," Myra said as she wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulder and escorted her to the family room couch. "What's wrong?" Jenny asked relieved to see her dad sitting on the couch staring out into space. "Nick was killed last night," Myra said. "NO!" Jenny cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Is Natalie okay?" "It happened while he and his partner were out investigating. Natalie's heartbroken and it's going to take her a while to recover," Don said, settling next to his daughter. "Dad, I'm so glad you no longer have to go out into the field every night. I used to worry..." "I know." Don said as he hugged his daughter. "I thought I'd hear this about Natalie first," Jenny said. "Why Nick? Natalie needs him. How's she going to handle everything?" "With help from her friends." "I'll miss him," Jenny said, a fresh batch of tears streaming down her face. Don hugged her and gently rubbed her back, trying to comfort his little girl. Nick and Natalie talked as he hid out at home. They would spend hours at a time discussing anything and everything. Natalie was trying to store memories for herself, just as Nick was. They would both really miss spending time together. That night they fell asleep on the couch in each other's arms, not wanting to waste a moment of togetherness. The next night there was a knock on the stairway door. Nick knew it was for him when he sensed an unfamiliar vampire on the other side of the door. Natalie insisted on answering the door. "You're supposed to be dead. Remember?" A small sad grin formed on his face, matching the one on hers as he said, "I forgot." She opened the door, blocking any view into the loft, and was handed a large manila envelope. Before she could say anything the messenger was gone. She closed the door and walked over to Nick, sadness filling her large blue eyes. "I thought we would have more time together." "I had hoped so myself." Nick did not want to see the end of Nick Knight. He had been happier here than he could remember being for a *very* long time. Natalie detected his feelings. She understood what he was feeling as she was feeling much the same way. He had made some of the worst times of her life bearable, sometimes even joyful. "When you leave, will I ever hear from you again?" "Yes. How could I forget the best friend I've had in centuries?" He gently caressed the side of her face causing her to smile. "How could I forget my beautiful, loving wife?" He loved seeing her blush slightly. He kissed her on the lips, pleased when she responded. "I love you, Nick. I always have, and I always will. You're a warm, loving, sensitive husband." She reached up and ran her hand across his cheek. Followed by a kiss on the lips. They knew they were heading into dangerous emotional territory and retreated to safer topics, neither wanting a tearful goodbye. "Do you still want to help me find the cure? I'll still keep in contact either way. I'll take care of all your expenses." "I promised you I would find the cure and I will not go back on it." She ran her fingertips over his cheek and down his face towards his chin. "I will still need blood samples, though." "I'm not supposed to have contact with this life but I will give you an address to reach me at. I'll send the samples whenever you need them. If you ever need anything, please let me know." He gently caressed the side of her face with his hand and she leaned into the caress. "You know I will always love you. I want you to be happy." "You're leaving. How can I be happy?" "You will be in time." Nick said. "I love you, and I always will." Natalie said before kissing him again on the lips. He happily responded to her kiss. They both knew they were soulmates and would remain committed to their love for each other as long as they lived, and possibly well into the next world. They had never felt as loved and fulfilled as they had since the moment they realized they were meant to be together for eternity. Sadness filled them both. Again, Nick felt guilty for not being able to prevent the attack. She saw that look in his eyes and tilted his chin up to face her. "I thought we agreed that neither of us would feel guilty about the rape. There was nothing either of us could have done any differently." "You're right. I'm sorry." Nick opened the envelope and looked at the information. He had her scribble down his new name and address so his handwriting could not be traced. "We have two hours before I have to leave. When I get settled I'll set up an account for your research. It'll be through the de Brabant Foundation. I'll send you all the information as soon as everything is set up. If you ever need any money for yourself, don't hesitate to use that account, or to contact me." "Thanks. You will continue to take your pills, drink the protein shakes and try to eat won't you?" She asked, having given him her recipe. "Yes. You will take good care of yourself, won't you? Promise me you'll let me know if you progress." "I promise," Natalie said, knowing it was most likely a matter of time before the protease inhibitors no longer worked. Part of her was glad he would not be around to see that. Nick wrapped his arms around her and held her. He sensed that she needed this as much as he did. "Are you sure you won't come with me?" "I'm sure. I'm not ready to leave here yet. There would be too many questions, rumors… Maybe in a few months." Nick saw Natalie lost in thought, wondering what had her so captivated. "Nick, please make love to me one more time." He too wanted that closeness one last time, and swept her up into his arms in a wordless response. Their lips met as he carried her into their bedroom. Their kisses grew in intensity. Nick kissed her eyes, her forehead and the tip of her nose before kissing her cheeks. He kissed her lips again, avoiding her neck, knowing it would only stir the beast within. Natalie savored every second of contact. She pulled off his shirt and trailed kisses down his chest, loving the feel of his cool skin pressing against her warm lips. Nick removed her shirt and bra, slowly kissing his way down her front. He kissed all the little sensitive places he'd discovered during their many nights together. He gave extra attention to the ones that gave her the most pleasure, the ones that caused her to moan in ecstasy. His hands caressed those same spots adding to her pleasure. Nick savored every moment of contact, knowing that this would be their final time together, maybe forever, maybe only until she found his cure, if she succeeded. Or until they were both ready for her to come across, if the disease did not claim her first. Natalie was enjoying his loving attention one final time, wishing he did not have to go. Hoping she would see him again before she died, and that when they saw each other again, they would both be ready for her to join his world. She loved how his very skilled hands lightly caressed her body, making it feel more alive than it had ever felt. Nick fought down the beast as it tried to rise, not wanting to spoil this for Natalie. One more afternoon of pleasure was the least he could do for her. Both were quickly becoming more and more aroused. They knew that the further it went, the more dangerous it became. Nick's eyes turned gold and his fangs dropped, a sight which no longer bothered Natalie, as she had grown used to it over the years. They both had accepted that the change was a part of their attempts to make love. to be continued... Disclaimers and all that stuff in past parts. Comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. This and all parts must end with to be continued... to be complete Transitions part 4 Judith Freudenthal Nick was having great difficulty keeping the beast at bay and suddenly bolted from the bedroom. Natalie had sensed this, especially when the change came over him. Nick drained two bottles and took a cold shower before he felt confident to return to their bedroom. He found her tucking in her shirt, her hair still damp from her cold shower. They both knew it was the emotional turmoil from the past few days which had thwarted their latest attempt. Their emotional state had both increased the intensity of their feelings as well as drawn the beast to the surface quicker than usual. He wrapped his arms around her, and she did likewise. He escorted her over to the bed where they sat down. They cuddled against each other, doing nothing the least bit romantic. Soon Nick sensed it was time to leave. She knew it, too. "One last thing before I go," Nick said, before leaning in and kissing her as passionately as he could. She did not resist, giving into the feeling, kissing him as passionately as she knew how. A few minutes later, which seemed all too brief, he broke off resisting the beast that was trying to surface. His breaking heart gave the beast more strength. It wanted to savor the love running through Natalie's blood. Nick would not allow that part of him to hurt her. "Nat... " Once again words failed the 800-year-old vampire. Natalie could not fault him. Words failed her as well. She could see the anguish in his eyes and knew he could see the same in her eyes as well. Nick quickly took to the sky, by means of the skylight. Natalie stood at the window staring up at the sky long after he had gone. Tears streamed down her face as she looked out at the empty black sky. She headed upstairs and curled up on his bed, letting the grief overtake her. Her entire body shook as she let the tears flow. When there were no more tears to be shed, she fell asleep. His scent soothing her. A few hours later, Natalie began to toss and turn as her dreams about Nick turned into a horrific nightmare. Nick walked into his new apartment and barely noticed the spartan decor. His heart, mind and soul were still in Toronto, while his body was in Boston. "I'm surprised the good doctor stayed behind." LaCroix's voice broke Nick out of his revelry. "We had no choice. It would've raised too many questions if she'd left with me." "I warned you about getting involved with them. It only leads to pain," LaCroix said. "I'm surprised she has not asked you to bring her across." LaCroix knew quite well that neither of them were ready for that step yet and wondered if they would be before the disease claimed Natalie's life. Watching the drama unfold before his very eyes would be very amusing, he realized. "How did you find me?" Nick asked a little surprised. Natalie was the only person outside of Aristotle who knew his current location. "I have my ways." "You didn't…" Nick said before his father's look cut him off. "I had no need to ask her. She would never have told me. No, Aristotle didn't break his vow." LaCroix was not about to admit he'd carefully rifled through the loft to find the information he wanted. Nick wanted to pursue the topic, but the truly evil glare his master gave him ended the discussion. Nick decided that he wasn't going to spar with LaCroix and withdrew. LaCroix sensed that he wouldn't have any further pleasure from his son that evening so he left. He knew the sun would be rising soon and did not want to have to spend the day with his moping son. Nick knew his furniture would not be arriving until tomorrow night so he laid down on the bare floor and tried to sleep. Images of Natalie filled his dreams, starting with the night he proposed to her. The next afternoon back at Natalie's loft, the buzzer sounded. Natalie did not want to see anyone. "Natalie, I need to see you," said the sad voice of Jenny Schanke. The elevator door opened and Jenny hesitantly stepped into the loft, fighting her feelings. "Hi," Jenny said. A part of her did not want to be there because of all the fears she had about death. Another part wanted to be there for Natalie, who was one of her best friends. "Hi," Natalie said, pleased that the teen had come. "I'm so sorry about Nick. I miss him," Jenny said trying to hold back the tears. "I miss him too." Natalie wanted to wrap her arms around Jenny but did not know if that would cause her to flee. "I won't ask you the same stupid questions. I can see how much you're hurting," Jenny said, a tear running down her cheek as she approached her friend. "Would you like me to stay awhile?" "I'd love that," Natalie said as she wiped a tear from Jenny's cheek. Jenny surprised her friend by hugging her, knowing that's what she would want if the situation was reversed. Outside of her husband being alive and there. A few moments later Jenny released Natalie, and headed over to the couch. Natalie sat down beside her. "I still want to be your friend. I'm just a little…" Jenny could not find the right words. "I know what you're trying to say. It's okay." Natalie's small smile reassured Jenny that she did indeed understand. That night, Natalie had Vachon give her a hand disassembling her bed and donating it to a local battered woman's shelter. She did not need two beds in the room anymore. She slept in Nick's bed because it made her feel closer to him. Nick woke shortly before sunset, showered, dressed and fed. Once that was done he headed out to the small college where he would once again enjoy being a professor. This time history was his subject. Nick arrived at the campus, found the faculty parking without too much trouble. He pulled his thirteen year old black Mercedes 300 SD into the spot marked Nick Baldulf. The windows were tinted as heavily as the law allowed. He was grateful for the ample trunk space it had. The Caddy had remained with Natalie, since it's disappearance would cause questions. He knew that barring any unforeseen incidents, he would eventually get it back, hopefully when Natalie was finally able to join him. The other alternative was to purchase it back after... he didn't want to think about that option. He headed to the administration building to get the keys to his new office. He remembered their surprise when he requested an office without a window. He hoped his class schedule would be ready and accurate. He had requested night classes, and had to teach one late afternoon class. He'd spend the night scoping out the best routes around the campus using the underground passageway system that seemed to be present in many colleges and universities. Nick entered the administration building and found his way to the division head's office. He knocked on the door before entering. He saw the short redheaded assistant seated at her desk typing away at the computer keyboard. "I'm Nick Baldulf. I'm here to pick up the keys to my office and my class schedule." "Welcome." " The assistant asked, turning her attention from the computer screen to Nick. "How do you prefer to be addressed?" A small grin spread across her face. "Nick is fine," he said, knowing it would take a few days for him to get used to his new last name. He was so used to hearing Knight. The assistant moved around files on the desk, pulling a paper from here and there. "I'm Tiffiney. Here's your schedule." She dug around in her desk drawer. "Here's the key to your office and one for the main door." "Thank you. Is there anything else I should know?" "I don't think so. If you have any questions feel free to call or drop by." "Thank you, I will," Nick said with a grin. Nick left Tiffiney's office and headed for his office. Nick unlocked his office door, noticing the name plate on the wall next to the door, with the room number right above his name. He turned on the light as he entered. A quick visual survey showed a small, empty, windowless room. He glanced at his schedule. Classes started on Monday. He knew he still had a lot of work to do to prepare, but almost a week in which to do so. He locked his office and headed out to seek out the book he wanted his students to use and procure enough copies. He also had lessons to plan, a course outline to construct. He knew the guidelines he had to follow, but that left him plenty of room to work. The next afternoon, Natalie was fixing lunch when thoughts of Sarah and Amy came to mind. She had not seen them in a while, life had been too hectic for one reason or another. She wondered if they were going to come to Nick's memorial service. Just the thought of the service made her shiver. She knew he was not dead, but Nick Knight was. Still, knowing he was alive, but not being able to be with him was as hard, if not harder than if he had truly been dead. The only bright spot was that they might be able to reunite sometime in the future. Natalie's mind wandered back to when she had told Sarah and Amy she had AIDS. ******** Natalie had gone up to see Sarah and Amy for the weekend. Since her brother, Richard, had died she had seen less of them than before. Nick had encouraged her to go, knowing it was a good idea. Natalie figured that she felt guilty about forcing Nick to turn him into a vampire to give him a second chance and had avoided them as much as possible since then. Natalie prayed that Sarah never remembered the monster Richard became, as it was hard enough for her to live with the memories, and the guilt for badgering Nick into bringing him across when she should have listened to Nick. She remembered how hard it was to tell Sarah and Amy that she had AIDS. She had done it shortly after her first illness, not wanting them to find out some other way. Natalie, Sarah and Amy were sitting in the family room, after lunch. "Natalie, are you okay? You seem much thinner than you should be, and you seem tired, maybe a little depressed." "I am and I'm not. I have something I need to tell you. Yes, I'm thinner than I'd like to be, but there's a reason for it. It's also why I'm tired." Natalie took a deep breath and continued. "I have AIDS." "Oh my God!" Sarah said stunned. Amy did not say anything, she just sat there stunned. "I am a little depressed. I just recovered from my first serious illness. I'm okay. Both the tiredness and depression will disappear shortly. Being around family is a big help." "Does Nick know?" "Yes, he's known from the beginning." "I hope you don't mind me asking this but…" "How did I get it?" Natalie said, cutting Sarah off, knowing where she was headed. She saw Sarah and Amy both nod. "I contracted it from the bastard who raped me. "How come we couldn't detect it?" Amy asked. "I was symptom free for almost six years after the diagnosis, then they started showing up one by one, but no one outside of Nick, noticed anything until after I had lost a few pounds. ************ The memories brought some comfort as neither Sarah nor Amy had stopped visiting, calling or writing once they knew. The following evening was the memorial service. Natalie was dressed in black, dreading the service. She was not in the mood to face everyone. She would have to thank everyone for their offerings of sorrow and support. It made Nick's not being there anymore seem too final. She had explained having the ceremony at night because that was where his life was spent, and because a few members of his family had the same condition he had, and by having it at night, they could attend. It was a full honors ceremony since Nick had died in the line of duty. Natalie had requested a closed casket, a wish that was honored. A picture of Nick in a dark wooden frame sat atop the casket, along with the flag and wild flowers. Natalie had ordered wild flowers for the ceremony as they had always been Nick's favorite flowers. There were a few roses in every color but white mixed in. She still associated white roses with the horrible night at Azure. A figure dressed all in black hid in the shadows at the back of the cemetery. Natalie had attended several of these over the years and it had never affected her as deeply as this one did, even when it had been a good friend. Seeing some of her close friends wearing their dress uniforms in honor of her husband nearly caused her to break down into tears. The tears welled in her eyes, but she would not let them fall. Tracy was in tears, still having trouble accepting the fact that Nick gave his life to save hers. Natalie saw Don, Myra and Jenny there. Don was trying not to cry, knowing it was not the "manly" thing to do. Sarah knew how Natalie must be feeling, having lost her husband many years earlier. Amy did not know what it was like to lose a husband as she was only a teen, but she knew what it felt like to lose her father. Natalie found herself sadder and more depressed than she expected. A tear rolled down her cheek about halfway through the ceremony. As the ceremony continued, tears silently rolled down Natalie's cheeks. Nick was pleased that all those he considered friends had come to say goodbye to him. He hated to see them in so much pain, but knew it could not be avoided without revealing his secret. At the end of the ceremony, Natalie wiped away the tears, not wanting to face her friends like that. Don Schanke sniffled and wiped away a stray tear, not wanting anyone to see it. He knew life would be very different without Nick. He'd truly miss his friend. Meanwhile, Natalie's friends approached to offer their condolences and see if she would be all right. Natalie faced Reese for the first time since he had lost one of his best officers. "Natalie, I'm so sorry. I know this isn't much, but I put Nick in for a medal of valor." "Thank you." "Are you gonna be okay?" "Yeah. I just need some time," Natalie said trying to sound more cheerful and hopeful than she felt. Sarah and Amy approached, taking turns embracing Natalie. "Natalie, I'm so sorry. If there's anything we can do to help, just let us know," Sarah said. "Why don't you come spend some time with us." "I'd love to but I can't. I have too much to do here. I hope you understand." "I do. If you change your mind, or just need to talk, call me. Anytime." "Thanks, Sarah." "Natalie, I really liked him. You two belonged together." "Thanks, Sarah." "What mom said goes for me too. I'll listen anytime you need someone to talk to. I do hope you'll come visit us sometime. I miss you." "Thank you. I might just do that." Sarah and Amy headed back to their car, knowing that Natalie had to talk to other people. Natalie knew she had to face Cohen and Commissioner Vetter. She did not mind talking to Cohen, but was not in the mood to face the Commissioner. When the crowd thinned out Myra approached Natalie. "We want you to come home with us. You need a good hot meal." "I don't want to be any trouble." "You won't be any trouble. We have to eat. I know you won't feel up to cooking, so why not let me do that for you?" "I won't be very good company." "No one expects you to be." "Okay. I need to go home and grab a few things. I'll be over later." As Nick flew away, a small sense of relief washed over him. Natalie would not be grieving alone. to be continued... Comments and dark chocolate to DanaKnight@aol.com. Disclaimers and other stuff in parts 00 and 1. Transitions pt 5 Judith Freudenthal Natalie headed home, trying to hold back the tears until she was in the elevator. As soon as she had shut the door the tears she had struggled to hold back earlier at the ceremony broke free. When the elevator stopped she opened the door and walked into the loft, letting the door slam shut behind her. She curled up on the couch and cried until there were no more tears to cry. As she wiped her eyes and blew her nose she realized how alone she was and how empty the loft was. She headed upstairs to pack, knowing that if she did not show up at the Schankes' soon, they would become worried. She decided to splash some cold water on her face before packing, but first she had to change out of the clothes she had on. She slipped into her favorite sweater and a pair of jeans, her sneakers completing the outfit. She entered the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, not wanting her friends to see her puffy red eyes and red nose. She threw a few changes of clothes, her pajamas and what she hoped was an ample supply of medication into her bag, zipped it up and headed for the door. As she drove to the Schanke residence, her mind wandered back to when her coworkers learned of her disease. Most of her coworkers understood that she was no danger to them, or to her own work and did not treat her any differently, or at least tried not to. There was a handful that gave her a rough time for a while. She was grateful that no one tried to force them to deal with her before they were ready to, as it would have made things worse. Slowly, most of those few learned to believe that she was not a danger to them. A few still would not have anytt most of her coworkers did not turn against her. It hurt that any of them did, especially after her open discussion with everyone. Before long, Natalie arrived at the Schanke residence and knocked on the front door, bag in hand. Myra answered the door, having changed since the service. She hugged her friend and motioned for her to enter. "Come on in. Make yourself at home. I'll be right back. Your room is the one next to Jenny's." "Thanks. Remember, I don't want to be a bother." "You're not, nor will you ever be. You're family, Nat." Myra showed Natalie she meant what she said with a big hug, which was returned by a grateful Nat. Natalie walked upstairs and towards the only spare bedroom the three bedroom house had. "Hi Jenny," Natalie said as she passed by the teen's room. "Hi Natalie. I'm glad you're staying with us for a while." Natalie's spirit brightened when she heard that. She remembered how much Jenny had tried to hide her uneasiness the other afternoon in the loft. At dinner that night Natalie did not eat, she just pushed the food around on her plate. There was not much conversation, and no one tried to coax Natalie into talking if she did not feel like it. "Natalie, you need to eat," Myra said concerned. "I know. I don't have any appetite." Natalie knew that her body needed fuel to continue it's battle with her disease. Natalie ate several bites before putting her fork down, earning a small grin of approval from Myra. Myra and Jenny cleared the dishes. "Don, what are we going to do without him?" Natalie asked, sadly. "We'll miss him a lot, but we have to go on." "I know." "I'll really miss his teasing. That's how I knew he cared," Don said. Everyone headed into the family room to relax after dinner. Natalie sat off by herself and was quiet. Myra, Don and Jenny let her be. They too were a bit subdued as it had been a difficult afternoon. About two hours later, Natalie said, "I think I'm going to try and get some sleep, if you don't mind." "Not at all." Jenny, Don and Myra all hugged Natalie, pleased to see their embraces returned. "See you in the morning," Natalie said, trying to hide how brokenhear ted she was. It was obvious to Natalie's friends exactly how devastated she was by Nick's death. There was no light in her eyes. Her usual spunk was gone. Natalie entered her room and shut the door. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and changed into Nick's black silk pajamas. She didn't care if anyone knew they were Nick's. She crawled into bed and turned out the light. She tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Tears ran down her cheeks as her mind replayed scenes from their life together, starting with the night he proposed to her. About a hour later she was fast asleep. Two nights later, Natalie paid a visit to her support group. She saw the concern on their faces as she entered. "We were worried because you hadn't been here in a while. We heard about Nick," Mel said. "I'm so sorry." "Thank you for the flowers. I'm sorry to worry everyone. Things have been so hectic I haven't had the chance to come here. I did miss you." The other group members expressed their sympathy. Natalie was pleased to have friends like them. "Did I miss anything important?" "Not really. How are you?" Lisa asked, concerned. "I'm surviving. Our friends always told us that we were meant for each other. I feel like I'm missing half of myself. I miss him so much." Everyone gave Natalie an embrace, knowing it's what they would want in a similar situation. She returned every one, gaining strength from her friends. "Thank you all. How is everyone here?" "I'm about the same. Only a slight drop in my cell count." No one had any massive changes, which Natalie was relieved to hear. "How are you doing?" Mel asked. "No changes so far. The drugs are working well. I feel good, physically," Natalie said. Three nights later, Don was settling down to watch his favorite show. He saw Natalie walk by. "Hey, Nat. I could use some company. How about it?" He knew that angle often worked best, and not just on Natalie. "I don't feel like it right now. Sorry." "Come on. Don't make me watch Jeannie all alone." "Don, please." "I'll share my secret chocolate stash. But, you have to promise not to tell Myra." "Dark chocolate?" "There is some dark and some milk." Don hoped his trick helped. He knew that sometimes laughter and chocolate were the best medicine for grief and depression. It wasn't a cure, but sometimes getting your mind off the problem for a while helped. "Oh okay." Natalie reluctantly gave in, knowing what her friend was trying to do. Maybe it would help. Natalie settled herself in the recliner next to Don. He passed her the dark chocolate. Before Natalie knew it she giggled at the antics, then laughed. "Thanks." "You're welcome." The two of them sat there and watched another episode. After a week with the Schankes, Natalie knew it was time for her to try to spend a night in her loft. After breakfast, Natalie packed her bag and dropped it by the door. She saw Myra tidying up the family room. "Thank you for all the hospitality and understanding. It helped more than you'll ever know." Myra knew how much it had helped. She'd seen Natalie slowly start interacting with her, Don and Jenny a little more each time. Natalie had even laughed at I Dream of Jeannie the other night. She knew her friend had a lot of healing, grieving yet to do, but knew that she'd be fine, eventually. "Remember, anytime you need company, you're more than welcome here. No calling ahead needed." Natalie removed the Schanke house key from her pocket and handed it to Myra. "No. Keep it. If you ever need it, feel free to use it." "Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it," Natalie said as she hugged Myra. "You look like you're going back to work." "I am. It's time." Myra saw more of the light back in Natalie's eyes, as well as the spunk reemerging. Natalie entered the morgue knowing she had to get on with her life and the longer she waited the harder it would become. "Natalie, are you sure you're ready to come back?" Grace asked concerned. She knew her friend had a habit of rushing back to work too soon. "Yes. I need to be around my friends, and I need to get back to work. I have to do something before I lose my mind." Natalie hoped her words and small grin were convincing. "Okay." Grace knew she could not change her friend's mind. She was concerned that being around death all night might have a negative impact, and hoped not. That morning Natalie entered her loft, her suitcase in hand. She shuddered, feeling how big and empty the loft was now. Glad that it wasn't as barren as it had been before their marriage. She knew that if it had been that way she never could've returned as it would've been too gloomy. She nuked herself dinner, stuck their favorite movie into the vcr, turned on the tv and made herself comfortable. She still really missed him. After the movie was over she turned everything off and headed off to bed, hoping for sweet dreams of him. She hoped he was doing all right in his new life. She slipped into his black silk pajamas and curled up in bed, holding onto the other king sized pillow as if it was a person. She laid there thinking of him, missing him, and the tears started. She knew the first night back in the loft would be the hardest. After a while she fell asleep out of exhaustion and the tears stopped. Each day and night became a little easier. She felt more of the good memories surrounding her, which helped ease the pain. When she saw the archeological artifacts he'd left behind she heard his voice in her head telling her the story behind each piece, causing her to smile. She sometimes wore one of the two shirts he'd left behind to make her feel closer to him. Myra made sure that Natalie continued to eat properly, even if she had to take the food to the morgue. Myra quickly discovered that she hated being in the room, especially if she entered while Natalie had her hands in someone. Myra could tell how much Natalie appreciated the gesture. She knew it was probably the only reason Natalie ate, or ate more than fast food. Natalie was determined to get on with her life, knowing it was what Nick wanted, and what she needed to do to stay sane. As a part of this she continued her weekly rock climbing sessions with Myra at least once a week, twice when they had the time. The only sessions they had missed were when Natalie had been sick with pneumonia and the two weeks afterwards. They loved the new wall their gym had because it tilted in various directions and moved while they climbed making the climb even more challenging. She and Myra loved the extra challenges it provided. It helped Natalie release her frustrations and helped her stay in shape. The concentration required gave her a nice mental release from all the stress in her life. Natalie caught a glimpse of the calendar as she dressed for work, noticing that three months had passed. She would have known this date without looking at the calendar. She knew it because of the depression that settled in every year on this date, the anniversary of when she had been raped ten years ago. The depression was heavier this year because she was alone. She knew her friends would be there for her and was grateful for that fact, but she needed Nick. to be continued... I don't own the characters. If I did, things would've gone a lot better. Please don't sue. You won't get much at all. Send all comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. You must see to be continued... at the end of this (and all) parts to have a complete copy. Transitions pt 6 by Judith Freudenthal 1999 When Natalie heard the phone ring she picked up the receiver, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. "Hello?" "This is Dr. Banks office. We've had a cancellation for today and was wondering if you would like an earlier appointment?" Natalie thought about it for a moment before responding. "What time?" "Noon." "I'll take it." Natalie was glad to get her doctor's appointment over with even sooner. It would fit in perfectly to her lunch break. At five of twelve, Natalie was filling out the standard paperwork while waiting to be seen by Dr. Banks. She dreaded every appointment, fearing the news that the disease had progressed. It was harder this time, it being the anniversary of the rape, her first one without Nick. The nurse stuck her head out the door, "Natalie, your turn." Natalie walked into the hallway and down it to the examination room. "Dr. Banks will be with you shortly." Natalie knew the routine. She reluctantly changed into the paper thin gown that was open in the back and sat on the exam table. Her legs swung back and forth betraying her nervousness. Becky entered, smiled, slipped into latex gloves, picked up a needle, unwrapped it and cleaned a spot on Natalie's arm. Natalie looked a bit nervous. She still did not like needles. In fact, she detested them even more now. She flinched as the needle punctured her skin. She could feel it inside her. "Natalie, how are you doing?" "It's tough, but I'm doing okay. I miss his support," Natalie said, a little sad. "Thanks for the flowers." "Nick seemed like a nice guy. One of the few out there." "He was great. Sure he had his little quirks, but who doesn't?" Natalie responded. Becky drew four large tubes of blood for testing. Natalie always dreaded t his, fearing that the results might come back showing that the disease had progressed, and that the protease inhibitors would no longer be effective. Becky removed the needle and had Natalie hold a small gauze pad there to stop the bleeding. It quickly stopped and Becky covered the spot with a small bandage. Dr. Banks entered, shutting the door behind him. He knew this day was never easy for her and had wondered why she had chosen it for her examination. "Hello, Natalie. How are you?" "Okay. And you?" "Pretty good. Do you have any medical complaints?" "No," Natalie said. She liked him. He was very supportive. "How are you doing emotionally?" He asked, having heard the bad news. He knew that emotions played an important part in a patient's well being. He had met Nick a few times and liked him. "I'll survive." "I was sorry to hear about Nick." "The flowers were beautiful, thanks," Natalie said. "I'm alone now, which only makes it harder." Thomas put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "What about your other friends?" "They're still there for me, but it's not the same." "I know. If you want to talk, I'll listen." "You have been doing that since we met, haven't you? I really do appreciate that." Natalie said with a grin which was gone when she continued. "I miss him so much. How I want his arms around me now, telling me that everything will be okay." A single tear ran down her cheek. She brushed it away. "We were together for over eleven years and now...." Thomas handed her a tissue, which she gladly took. "I know how hard that is. I remember when my best friend died. We had grown up together. She was killed in a head on." After a moment's silence Thomas decided to change the subject. He slipped into a pair of latex gloves and began the examination. "I see the drugs are still working quite well. Any side effects or medical complaints?" "Yes, they're still working well, and no problems or complaints to report." "That's what I like to hear," Thomas said with a grin. He continued with the thorough examination, except for the gynecological part. She still could not let a man conduct that exam. "Well?" She asked, a little anxiously. "From what I can see here you're in good health. I'll know for sure when the test results come back. I'll call you when I get them." "Thanks. I appreciate how you always call me yourself." A few hours later at the morgue, Natalie was seated in front of her computer, unable to concentrate on the screen in front of her. Natalie heard something which snapped her back to the present. "Natalie, are you okay?" Tracy asked, concerned, knowing what day it was, and that Nick wasn't there for her as he had always been. "I'm fine. I was just thinking." "About Nick?" "Yeah," Natalie said, trying to sound a bit cheerful. "I miss him too." "What brings you here?" Natalie asked, changing the subject. She could see the concern in Tracy's eyes, pleased that her friends truly cared for her, even after learning she had AIDS. "I came to see if you had the Heath report finished yet. How do you like being on the day shift? I love it. I never could quite get used to the nightshift." "I like seeing the sunshine. It helps make it a little less depressing. But somehow it just doesn't seem normal to be working days. I guess I spent too many years working nights. I'll have the report for you in a few minutes. Do you mind waiting?" "No. I heard I have to break in a new rookie. I remember how nervous I was. I feel sorry for whoever it is." "I remember when I was new here. It is a horrible feeling. You want so much to fit in, but you don't and hope that will change over time," Natalie said, thinking back on Tracy's growth over the last few years. "I remember when you were the rookie. You've really grown and become quite a detective." "Thanks. I owe most of it to Nick. He taught me so much. It seemed so natural to him. He was so knowledgeable and patient. He never treated me like I was stupid, even when I made dumb mistakes." "He liked helping people." "You didn't either. I know there were a few times I probably accidentally insulted you or questioned your competency without realizing it. You never got mad at me." "Like I said, we were all new at one point. The important thing is you were not afraid to ask questions and to learn from your mistakes." Natalie finished the report and handed it to Tracy. "I'll drop by later if you like," Tracy said. "I'm leaving early tonight. Maybe some other night." Natalie knew she did not want company tonight. She wanted to be alone. She hoped Nick would remember the significance of today's date and call. She *needed* him to call. Tracy saw that Natalie was once again lost in thought and left without disturbing her. A small sad grin crossed Tracy's face as she was reminded of Nick and how he used to 'space out' at any time and any place. Natalie thought about the real reason she had switched to days. It had been too painful working nights and expecting Nick to walk through her office door, knowing he would not. She had hoped that the day shift would help her forget, but it didn't. At first she had trouble readjusting her biological clock. She had also found that she wasn't used to all that sunlight. She had worked the occasional day shift before but she had not spent as much time outside during the day as she had during most of the last two and a half months. Natalie's coworkers who remembered the rape knew that this week would be hard for her, especially since it was the first anniversary of it without her husband. Those that had been around since then, knew how much those two meant to each other and how much he had helped her through that horrible ordeal. They understood any crankiness or if she seemed short tempered, and helped the others to understand it as well. They knew it would probably be much harder for her this year than in the past. Natalie was home after her shift, seated on the couch, having changed out of her work clothes. The phone's ring startled her. She snatched up the receiver as soon as the first ring finished, hoping against hope that it was Nick on the other end. "Hello," Natalie said. "Hi. I thought you might need someone to talk to," Nick's warm voice said, knowing it was once again the anniversary of the rape. "Hi. Thanks for remembering." "How could I forget?" "How's your new life?" Natalie asked, knowing they'd both be in trouble if the conversation lingered too long on their feelings. She hoped her question led them to safer ground. "Pretty good. I'm teaching history at a local college. It's not a very big school but they have a large night school population... of mostly mortals." His grin came through in his voice. He knew and understood why Nat had changed the subject. "You should be an excellent teacher. You're very good with people. Besides, you don't have to rely on books for your information," she said, teasingly. She remembered how much he loved his last job as a professor. "That is true. But I only know about what I witnessed. My students seem to appreciate my stories, even if they don't know I saw them first hand. They say it makes learning fun. Some of them even do more research on the various subjects we talk about. It makes me feel like I'm making a difference. A few of the other professors are impressed by my students' enthusiasm for history and for learning." He paused, "I miss you terribly." "I miss you terribly, too." She sighed, knowing they were once again straying into emotional grounds that neither of them should go to. She changed the subject. "I'm still giving speeches to students. I still enjoy telling them about being a forensic pathologist and watching a face or two light up with interest. I usually have to answer an AIDS question or two, but I don't mind. I'd rather they hear accurate information from me than learn inaccurate info from their friends. I'm still volunteering at the Ped AIDS wing. By the way, I saw Tracy today. She also misses you. She credits you with making her a fine detective. She's doing well and breaking in a new rookie. Grace is doing fine as well and still misses you, too. The Schankes' are fine and miss you as well." "I'm glad they remember me. Have you seen Dr. Banks lately?" He knew she would have her monthly exam sometime soon. "Yes, earlier today. They called about an earlier appointment due to a cancellation and I took it. Dr. Banks said that outside of the virus being present, I seem to be healthy. We'll know for sure when the test results come back. You'd think I'd be used to it by now." "I'm glad you're doing well. I think there are some things you never get used to." Nick knew he still wasn't used to the idea that she was going to die well before her time. "The drugs are still working. I still feel good." She knew he'd want to know. "I'm glad." He hoped they continued to work for a long time. "Have you been a good boy?" "Yes, I have. How's the research going?" "Slowly. I am trying something and will hopefully have some results for you soon. I will need another sample in about a week. The other research isn't going as well." "I'm glad the work on my cure is going well, but am sorry to hear that the work on yours isn't." He knew how important both projects were to her. "I want you to concentrate on getting yourself well. Don't worry about me. Okay?" "Nick, I made you a promise and I have every intention of keeping it." "Natalie, you're what matters to me. I want you to take care of yourself. Devote your time to the search for your cure." She detected the concern in his voice. "No. I have a better chance of finding your cure than mine." "Okay." He knew he couldn't change her mind. He also remembered what happened the last time he tried to insist she give up trying to find his cure. He had nearly lost her that time and did not want to take that risk again. "I'll send the sample in a few days. I hate to cut this short but I took a big risk calling you," He said. "I know. I don't want you getting in trouble because of me." "I love you." "I love you, too," Natalie said. They both hung up, feeling happy but also sad, knowing that there was so much they really wanted to say to each other, but couldn't. Each greatly enjoyed hearing the other's voice even though it reminded them that they couldn't see each other again until she found his cure. And then for how long before the disease reared its ugly head and took her from him? to be continued... This part does have graphic violence as Natalie vividly remembers being raped. I post this warning for those that want to read the story but not the rape parts. There is nothing crucial to the plot, but some information. If you want I can send the part without the rape scenes. Send virtual dark chocolate and comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. Transitions part 7 by Judith Freudenthal 1999 Natalie climbed into bed when she tired and was asleep almost instantly. A while later, she began tossing and turning. ****** Natalie approached her door as she did everyday, when she suddenly felt a presence behind her. Before she could turn around two powerful arms had encased her. Fear rose up inside her as her arms were pinned to her sides and her mouth was covered. She could feel his hot breath on her ear as a man's voice was loud enough for her alone to hear. "I want us to go into your apartment very quietly. I will not hesitate to break your neck if you give me any trouble," he whispered into her ear, the threat coming through clearly. Natalie nodded, pushing down her fear. She had no intention of letting him know he frightened her, refusing to give him that satisfaction. Her medical training and common sense told her that with the hold he had on her, he could easily break her neck. She had no intention of allowing that to happen. She unlocked her door and entered, still in his overwhelming grip. Once inside he quickly locked and chained her door one-handedly. She felt trapped, doomed, but refused to give in to those feelings or her steadily increasing fear. If she did she probably would not survive whatever was in store for her. "If you scream, you die. Understand?" He felt her nod and released her, stepping back to take a look at his prize. She turned around and observed that he was about six inches taller than she was, dark-haired, and was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. He smelled of cigarette smoke and had a haunted dead look in his eyes. He circled her, taking a full measuring look at her, and smiled, pleased with himself for choosing so well. Her apparent lack of fear amused him. "You are beautiful. Intelligent too, I'll bet. Let me guess, lawyer." Natalie knew that her best chance for survival with minimal injures was to treat him as she treated vampires. She would show him no fear or weakness. She said nothing. "Come on. Talk to me," the man said, with false politeness. "I’m not a lawyer," Natalie said, noticing the dangerous look in his eyes. Her fear continued to grow, but she refused to let it show. Thoughts of all the things he could do to her ran through her mind, chilling her to the bone, and were quickly brushed aside as she focused on the threat before her. "A pretty voice, too. Professor? Nope, not the type. Um. Why don’t you tell me?" "I’m a Medical Examiner," Natalie said, her mind working on a way out. Natalie felt his hands grab hold of her arms. He pulled her close while tugging her suit jacket off. She felt it slide off her shoulders and down her arms. A new wave of fear crashed though her as she fully realized what was in store for her. Any hope of a robbery or her just being beaten up was dashed by his next move. ******** Her sleep grew more restless as she remembered more of that horrendous night. ******** Revulsion washed over her as he crudely ran his hands down her body, checking out her curves. She was careful to keep her face neutral as she did not want to anger him. She felt him grab a large handful of her curly brown hair and use it to hold her head in position. He pressed his lips roughly against hers in a desperately hungry but passionless kiss. She attempted to pull away, but could not. She felt his free hand roving across her breasts. She felt as if she were going to throw up as he ripped her shirt open and ran his hand across her breast, caressing the lace bra and the exposed flesh. Her mind was torn between the desire to fight, even if she got hurt badly, and her reason which told her not to struggle so she would not get hurt. She slugged him in the stomach as hard as she could, thus solving the mental dilemma. She was a fighter and could do nothing else when faced with trouble. He was startled enough to release her. She wasted no time in rushing towards the door. She had the lock opened and was reaching for the chain when she felt his arm close around her, spinning her around and slamming her into the door. The lock was relocked. "So you want to play rough, huh. I like it that way." "No," she said, refusing to cower before him. "Then behave yourself," he said as he slapped her hard across the face. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the sting from his hand, but she pushed them back. She would not allow him to see her pain. To show any emotions would only egg him on. She tried to shut down all her emotions, to detach herself from the situation. "Stop it," she protested firmly, knowing it would be ignored. She felt his hand caress the side of her face before she felt herself pushed to the floor. Before she could move she felt a heavy weight upon her abdomen and thighs. The way he straddled her pinned her legs to the floor. She saw him lowering his head for another kiss and struggled against it. She felt the sting of his hand as he slapped her again and roughly grabbed a handful of her hair. He held her head still until he planted his lips firmly on hers for another deep, hungry, desperate, passionless kiss. She wanted to get him off guard so she gently bit his lip and saw him relax a little. He had liked it. She bit his lip really hard at the same time she drew her nails across his cheek leaving a serious set of scratches behind. "You bitch!" He yelled as he punched her in the ribs, fully employing the power in his solidly muscled arms. He followed that up with another slap across her face which snapped her head sideways to impact solidly against the floor. Natalie felt the first wave of nausea and intense pain as his fist slammed into her ribs. A single tear ran down her cheek. Her cheek stung from the most recent impact and was red. She felt blood dripping from her nose onto her upper lip. ******** Natalie's mind and body were at war, leaving her unable to awaken and leave the nightmare where it belonged. She started to thrash about in the bed, as if to subconsciously fight off her attacker. ********* She felt him rip open her bra, exposing her breasts. She fought back the revulsion as he roughly fondled her breasts with his hands. She felt sick as he explored her breasts with his mouth. A shudder went through her body as his tongue examined the surface of each breast. She had to fight back the next wave of nausea and revulsion as he licked his way down her body from the valley between her breasts down onto her abdomen and toward her pubic region. He unzipped his pants before pulling down her underwear. She felt him painfully enter her and struggled not to throw up on him, knowing it would only lead to a severe beating and most likely a fatal one. She tried to disconnect her mind from her body, but could not. She could no longer hold back the flood of tears. They freely flowed down her cheeks. flashed through her mind. After what seemed like an eternity Natalie felt the rapist pull himself from inside her and was terrified of what would happen next. The rapist looked at her face and saw the tears. "Stop it!" Natalie tried but the tears would not cease. She saw the anger in his eyes and felt a stronger pain in her ribs as his boot made contact very close to where he had punched her. She refused to cry out even though her side felt as if it was on fire. She could not ever remember hurting this much. "Get up!" He demanded. Natalie tried to but her body would not respond. She felt the pain as he grabbed her hard by both the hair and the arm and roughly jerked her to her feet. She felt as if she were about to pass out as a wave of dizziness swept over her along with an intense wave of nausea. He threw her across the room where she landed just right to hit her head on the corner of the coffee table. The pain of that impact was the last thing she felt as the world went black. ****** She bolted upright, shaking, breathing hard and soaked, this time from the nightmare rather than her disease. Tears began to stream down her face as Nick wasn't there to calm her this time. She knew she needed to talk to someone that had been there as she went through hell and back, but didn't want to wake Grace. Reluctantly, she dialed Grace's phone number and waited for her friend to pick up. "Hello?" Grace's sleepy voice muttered. "Grace...." Natalie's voice held her fear and tears. "Natalie, honey, what's wrong?" Grace asked concerned. "I had a VERY bad nightmare." "How long has it been since your last one? Do you want me to come over?" She remembered that the day before had been the anniversary of the rape. That mixed with Nick's death, and her current condition was the explanation for the nightmare. "It's been several years. Probably about the time I learned I was HIV positive." Natalie wanted her friend's company, but felt guilty dragging her across town. "I'll be there shortly. Will you be okay?" Grace heard the panic in her friend's voice and grew concerned. She hadn't heard Natalie so upset and scared since the weeks following the rape. "Yeah." Natalie didn't sound too convincing. Natalie hung up the phone and just sat there, leaning against the headboard, her knees drawn up against her chest. Tears continued to stream down her face. About twenty minutes later Grace buzzed and was let in by Natalie. Grace saw the few remaining tears as they trickled down Nat's cheeks and enveloped her friend in a big bear hug, and felt her friend trembling. Natalie returned the embrace, feeling all the fear drain from her. Grace felt her friend stop shaking. "Thanks for coming. I didn't want to drag you across town," Natalie said, both pleased Grace was there, and feeling guilty that she was here and not home in her own bed asleep. "I couldn't not come over, especially after hearing how upset you were," Grace said, worried. She changed the subject by holding up the grocery bag in her hand. "Comfort food." "Perfect." Natalie smiled, nodded and headed for the kitchen. Natalie unpacked, curious to see what goodies Grace had brought with her, thankful that Grace had done so as she didn't keep junk food around because it was too tempting. There was a package of chocolate cookies with lots of white creamy stuff in the middle, a container of rocky road ice cream, gourmet hot chocolate and a bag of mini marshmallows. They brought their mugs of hot chocolate with little marshmallows, the cookies and a bowl of ice cream with them to the family room. Natalie knew that was the worst thing she could eat, but didn’t care. She needed her comfort foods. She promised herself that she'd eat extra fruit tomorrow, and nothing sugary to make up for it. They talked as they ate. Grace could see her friend slowly relaxing as she related her nightmare. Before long the food had been polished off and both women were sleepy. Grace escorted Natalie into her bedroom and tucked her in. "Would you like me to stay?" "Please." Natalie started to get up, so that she could fix one of the guest rooms for Grace, but her friend wouldn't let her. "I was in the middle of changing the sheets, so you'll probably have to put some on the bed." "Rest. I'll take care of it. Is everything still in the same place?" Natalie sleepily nodded. Grace sat on the end of the bed, until she was sure her friend was soundly asleep. Once she was sure, she headed for the closet where she grabbed a set of sheets, a blanket and pillow. Grace made up the bed in the middle room, so she'd be close to Natalie, and crawled under the covers. Within seconds she too was soundly asleep. Natalie's sleep was slightly restless throughout the day. Nothing that woke either woman. to be continued... I'm sorry it's so long between parts. I had meant to post 3 parts a day until finished but real life had other ideas. Disclaimers in parts 00. Send all feedback to DanaKnight@aol.com. You must see to be continued... at the bottom to have it all. Transitions pt 8 by Judith Freudenthal 1999 Later that afternoon, both women awoke. "How about some breakfast? It's the least I can do after dragging you over here in the middle of the night." Natalie asked as she saw Grace enter the hallway about the same time she did. "That would be nice. Want some help?" Grace asked. "It wasn't a problem. You needed to talk and I was happy to listen." "Thank you. It's the first time Nick hasn't been here to comfort me. I guess it freaked me out a little more because of that." "I would've been worried if it hadn't bothered you." The two women entered the kitchen and set about to fix their breakfast. Grace started the coffee while Natalie started the bacon. "Do you have any plans for tonight?" Grace. "Not really. How about you?" "Nope." "Would you like to do something? Maybe go shopping, or to a movie," Natalie said as she removed the bacon from the frying pan. "Sounds good," Grace said as she started the toast. "How do you like your eggs?" Natalie asked. "However you want to do them is fine." "I'm feeling a bit creative, so, how about scrambled with some cream cheese mixed in?" "Sounds good." Before long the food was ready and both friends took their plates and coffee mugs to the table. They talked as they ate. A short debate ensued when Grace insisted on washing the sheets she had used, Grace winning out. After the sheets were done and both ladies had showered and dressed, they headed out for an evening's relaxation. Natalie was at work a few days later and had trouble concentrating on her paperwork. She found herself wishing for a body to autopsy, or a summons to the field, to take her mind off her troubles. She missed Nick more than she let on. She was growing more concerned that her checkups would give her bad news, especially since women tended to get sick sooner than men did. She switched her attention to Nick's cure. At least she could concentrate on that. She had received Nick's latest blood sample the night before along with a short note from him. She examined a slide, not seeing any major changes , only a very minor one which she noted in her journal. After recording her notes, she thought back to the note and was pleased by how he seemed to be enjoying his new life, noticing the unsaid fact that it would be a lot better if she was there to share it with him. She loved his hopefulness that her research would soon yield the cure, or at least the key to it, and hoped she'd find it within her lifetime. She missed seeing Grace's face and her cheeriness around the office. Other than Nick, Grace was the person she missed most since her switch to day shifts. At least they did see each other socially a few times a week. At lunch time she still took nice, long walks and generally had a healthy, well balanced lunch in a real restaurant, instead of eating something from the vending machine as she hunched over her paperwork or computer screen. If she didn't, either Grace or Myra would make sure she ate properly. Sometimes, though, work forced her to bring her lunch back with her, so she could finish her work before she got too far behind. Most of the time she left when her shift was over. Once in a while she stayed late to finish up important paperwork or when duty called out in the field. Even preparations for speaking to students could keep her late. So could losing herself in her research. She felt a little guilty cutting back from her workaholic habits, but knew her health was more important. Natalie also had dinners with friends, parties and showers to attend from time to time. Myra made sure Natalie joined her family for dinner at least once a week, sometimes two or three times a week. Grace made sure she spent time with Natalie at least once a week. Natalie continued to fix herself a healthy dinner instead of popping a frozen dinner into the microwave and ate it in front of the television as she watched a movie. Natalie spent at least one afternoon a week at the pediatric AIDS wing, often two, knowing how much the kids looked forward to her visits. She enjoyed the warm fuzzy feelings it gave her each time she went. It helped her keep things in perspective. It also gave her a chance to chat with Scott for a few minutes. From the moment she'd met him in med school, she knew he'd be a fantastic doctor. One who truly cared about his small patients as people, not just the latest patient in his care. He knew how important family involvement was in the child's care and made sure to include them in every way possible. Natalie looked at the wall of the living room, smiling at the painting hanging there. It was one of Nick's sun paintings. It had been hung where she could see it from the living room and kitchen. Right next to it was the sketch of her and Nick that Katie had done for them. ***** Nick and Natalie had been packing up his paintings when she saw a particular sun painting. "Can I have this one? I really like it." She remembered telling him she liked it when she'd first seen it. "Sure." Nick was a little surprised, but definitely pleased. He helped her decide where to hang it. Not to mention holding it while she hammered in the nail and then hung it on the nail, making sure it was level and stable. ***** Natalie was in the park during lunch rollerblading and saw Tracy. Tracy was a little surprised to see her friend there, but wasn't too surprised to see her wearing all the proper equipment as in helmet, elbow, wrist and knee pads. "Natalie, I didn't know you were into this." "I thought I'd vary my usual routine a bit. I haven't done this for quite a while." "I know that feeling. How about lunch after this?" Tracy replied. "Okay. Where? No fast food, please." "No problem. How about Mario's?" "Sounds good," Natalie said. "What's your usual routine?" Tracy asked curiously. She couldn't picture Natalie doing aerobics or jogging. "Rock climbing," Natalie loved the stunned look on Tracy's face. "Myra Schanke hooked me on it. We do it at the gym at least once a week." "Have you ever climbed outside of the gym?" "We've thought about it, but never had the time, or money to do it for real. That takes months of planning." "What level are you two at?" "We're at the advanced level. The club has this wall that moves and tilts as you climb to make it more difficult. It's great." "Maybe I'll try that sometime." "It's harder than you think. But, anytime you want to give it a shot, let me know. I'll see that you're properly introduced to both my teacher and the sport." "Thanks." Natalie liked the way Tracy had matured. The instincts Nick had sensed in her had developed. She had grown into a good detective and a pretty nice person. One of the biggest changes was that Tracy was now confident in herself and her abilities. Natalie had grown to like Tracy over the years and even considered her a friend. It helped to have a friend who tended to work the same hours she did. Another she could talk to about anything but vampires. "How're the folks?" Natalie asked. "They're still going at it like cats and dogs. I wonder if they'll continue that way until one dies. Then I'll probably wind up listening to the survivor complaining about the same old stuff," Tracy said, having learned to tune out the problem. "Why don't you come over for dinner sometime?" "Some night I will." Natalie smiled. "How about Friday night?" Tracy responded. "Sure, why not," Natalie said after a quick mental check to make sure she wasn't supposed to be elsewhere then. Natalie noticed Vachon was keeping an eye on her, always being discreet, but if he hadn't wanted her to know, she wouldn't have known. He had been doing so ever since Nick left causing Natalie to wonder if he was doing it on his own or if Nick had asked him to. Natalie's thoughts drifted to the conversations she and Vachon had had over the last couple of years. She had gotten to know him better, and found him interesting. She easily understood what Tracy saw in him. He was not like Nick, Janette or LaCroix. He seemed more at ease with his vampirism and even seemed to enjoy it in a way that none of the others she had known did. Natalie found herself wondering if Nick had reunited with Janette. to be continued... I'm sorry it's so long between parts. I had meant to post 3 parts a day until finished but real life had other ideas. Disclaimers in parts 00. Send all feedback to DanaKnight@aol.com. You must see to be continued... at the bottom to have it all. Transitions pt 8 by Judith Freudenthal 1999 Later that afternoon, both women awoke. "How about some breakfast? It's the least I can do after dragging you over here in the middle of the night." Natalie asked as she saw Grace enter the hallway about the same time she did. "That would be nice. Want some help?" Grace asked. "It wasn't a problem. You needed to talk and I was happy to listen." "Thank you. It's the first time Nick hasn't been here to comfort me. I guess it freaked me out a little more because of that." "I would've been worried if it hadn't bothered you." The two women entered the kitchen and set about to fix their breakfast. Grace started the coffee while Natalie started the bacon. "Do you have any plans for tonight?" Grace. "Not really. How about you?" "Nope." "Would you like to do something? Maybe go shopping, or to a movie," Natalie said as she removed the bacon from the frying pan. "Sounds good," Grace said as she started the toast. "How do you like your eggs?" Natalie asked. "However you want to do them is fine." "I'm feeling a bit creative, so, how about scrambled with some cream cheese mixed in?" "Sounds good." Before long the food was ready and both friends took their plates and coffee mugs to the table. They talked as they ate. A short debate ensued when Grace insisted on washing the sheets she had used, Grace winning out. After the sheets were done and both ladies had showered and dressed, they headed out for an evening's relaxation. Natalie was at work a few days later and had trouble concentrating on her paperwork. She found herself wishing for a body to autopsy, or a summons to the field, to take her mind off her troubles. She missed Nick more than she let on. She was growing more concerned that her checkups would give her bad news, especially since women tended to get sick sooner than men did. She switched her attention to Nick's cure. At least she could concentrate on that. She had received Nick's latest blood sample the night before along with a short note from him. She examined a slide, not seeing any major changes , only a very minor one which she noted in her journal. After recording her notes, she thought back to the note and was pleased by how he seemed to be enjoying his new life, noticing the unsaid fact that it would be a lot better if she was there to share it with him. She loved his hopefulness that her research would soon yield the cure, or at least the key to it, and hoped she'd find it within her lifetime. She missed seeing Grace's face and her cheeriness around the office. Other than Nick, Grace was the person she missed most since her switch to day shifts. At least they did see each other socially a few times a week. At lunch time she still took nice, long walks and generally had a healthy, well balanced lunch in a real restaurant, instead of eating something from the vending machine as she hunched over her paperwork or computer screen. If she didn't, either Grace or Myra would make sure she ate properly. Sometimes, though, work forced her to bring her lunch back with her, so she could finish her work before she got too far behind. Most of the time she left when her shift was over. Once in a while she stayed late to finish up important paperwork or when duty called out in the field. Even preparations for speaking to students could keep her late. So could losing herself in her research. She felt a little guilty cutting back from her workaholic habits, but knew her health was more important. Natalie also had dinners with friends, parties and showers to attend from time to time. Myra made sure Natalie joined her family for dinner at least once a week, sometimes two or three times a week. Grace made sure she spent time with Natalie at least once a week. Natalie continued to fix herself a healthy dinner instead of popping a frozen dinner into the microwave and ate it in front of the television as she watched a movie. Natalie spent at least one afternoon a week at the pediatric AIDS wing, often two, knowing how much the kids looked forward to her visits. She enjoyed the warm fuzzy feelings it gave her each time she went. It helped her keep things in perspective. It also gave her a chance to chat with Scott for a few minutes. From the moment she'd met him in med school, she knew he'd be a fantastic doctor. One who truly cared about his small patients as people, not just the latest patient in his care. He knew how important family involvement was in the child's care and made sure to include them in every way possible. Natalie looked at the wall of the living room, smiling at the painting hanging there. It was one of Nick's sun paintings. It had been hung where she could see it from the living room and kitchen. Right next to it was the sketch of her and Nick that Katie had done for them. ***** Nick and Natalie had been packing up his paintings when she saw a particular sun painting. "Can I have this one? I really like it." She remembered telling him she liked it when she'd first seen it. "Sure." Nick was a little surprised, but definitely pleased. He helped her decide where to hang it. Not to mention holding it while she hammered in the nail and then hung it on the nail, making sure it was level and stable. ***** Natalie was in the park during lunch rollerblading and saw Tracy. Tracy was a little surprised to see her friend there, but wasn't too surprised to see her wearing all the proper equipment as in helmet, elbow, wrist and knee pads. "Natalie, I didn't know you were into this." "I thought I'd vary my usual routine a bit. I haven't done this for quite a while." "I know that feeling. How about lunch after this?" Tracy replied. "Okay. Where? No fast food, please." "No problem. How about Mario's?" "Sounds good," Natalie said. "What's your usual routine?" Tracy asked curiously. She couldn't picture Natalie doing aerobics or jogging. "Rock climbing," Natalie loved the stunned look on Tracy's face. "Myra Schanke hooked me on it. We do it at the gym at least once a week." "Have you ever climbed outside of the gym?" "We've thought about it, but never had the time, or money to do it for real. That takes months of planning." "What level are you two at?" "We're at the advanced level. The club has this wall that moves and tilts as you climb to make it more difficult. It's great." "Maybe I'll try that sometime." "It's harder than you think. But, anytime you want to give it a shot, let me know. I'll see that you're properly introduced to both my teacher and the sport." "Thanks." Natalie liked the way Tracy had matured. The instincts Nick had sensed in her had developed. She had grown into a good detective and a pretty nice person. One of the biggest changes was that Tracy was now confident in herself and her abilities. Natalie had grown to like Tracy over the years and even considered her a friend. It helped to have a friend who tended to work the same hours she did. Another she could talk to about anything but vampires. "How're the folks?" Natalie asked. "They're still going at it like cats and dogs. I wonder if they'll continue that way until one dies. Then I'll probably wind up listening to the survivor complaining about the same old stuff," Tracy said, having learned to tune out the problem. "Why don't you come over for dinner sometime?" "Some night I will." Natalie smiled. "How about Friday night?" Tracy responded. "Sure, why not," Natalie said after a quick mental check to make sure she wasn't supposed to be elsewhere then. Natalie noticed Vachon was keeping an eye on her, always being discreet, but if he hadn't wanted her to know, she wouldn't have known. He had been doing so ever since Nick left causing Natalie to wonder if he was doing it on his own or if Nick had asked him to. Natalie's thoughts drifted to the conversations she and Vachon had had over the last couple of years. She had gotten to know him better, and found him interesting. She easily understood what Tracy saw in him. He was not like Nick, Janette or LaCroix. He seemed more at ease with his vampirism and even seemed to enjoy it in a way that none of the others she had known did. Natalie found herself wondering if Nick had reunited with Janette. to be continued... Sorry for the delay between parts. Between company, and the rest of holiday life, with more company arriving in several hours, there has been little time for revising. You know the disclaimer drill. Must end with to be continued to be complete. Send comments to DanaKnight@aol.com. Transitions pt 9 by Judith Freudenthal 1999 The next morning Natalie caught a glimpse of the date and realized it was once again her birthday. She had never felt so alone before in her life as she did at that moment. It wasn't the first, nor would it be the last time she would be alone on her birthday, but this was the first one in over twelve years without Nick. She wondered how many more birthdays she would see and how many more before she was too sick to care. She also found herself a bit stunned when she realized how long she had been with him. As she headed for the bathroom she started talking to herself, "Tonight I'm going to buy myself the nicest steak and the best chocolate dish I can find. Not to mention the funniest comedy." Her attempt to cheer herself up barely worked. She took her medication, as she had done every morning for the last seven years, before stepping into the shower. She looked through her closet and picked out something a little different from what she usually wore. She again changed her mind about her outfit as she decided to take her bike to work for a change. Before long she was dressed and heading out the door, helmet in hand. As she opened the door a package fell at her feet. She picked it up curiously and headed for the couch, closing the door behind her. She saw no return address on the package but recognized the camouflaged handwriting. She knew he was too far away to have delivered it himself. She quickly opened the outer box and found both a card and an elegantly wrapped present inside. The fact that he had sent her a gift warmed her heart and melted away most of the depression. She was still sad, but she did not feel so alone now. She opened the card. The sweet and sentimental verse pulled at her heart. The card read, 'Happy Birthday,' on the front and on the inside it said, 'Though distance may keep us apart, the love that is between us shall never fade. On this day you're especially in my thoughts. As much as I wish we could be together I know that in our hearts we are. Wishing you every happiness on this and every day.' It was signed, 'Love, Nick'. There was a p.s. that said, 'I miss you'. She ripped the wrapping paper from the small box and discovered a black jewelry box. A tear ran down her cheek when she saw the beautiful pair of earrings inside. Each was a delicate gold heart containing a single small diamond in the center. Under the platform that held the earrings in place was a note which read 'To help you remember that you're never far from my heart. Love, Nick.' Several tears ran down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. Natalie took off the earrings she had been wearing and put on Nick's gift. They matched perfectly with the heart necklace he had given her for her last birthday. She checked her makeup in the mirror before grabbing her helmet on the way out. Tracy was waiting in Natalie's office for her friend to arrive, knowing she might need some cheering up. "Happy Birthday, Natalie," Tracy said, as Natalie entered. Tracy handed her friend an envelope. "Thanks, Trace," Natalie said as set down her helmet before opening the envelope. She pulled out a funny birthday card and smiled while reading it, moving aside the gift certificate. After she had read the card she examined the certificate, noting that it was from her favorite store. "I didn't know what to get you." "Thanks. This is just what I needed. Both the card and gift certificate. I needed a laugh." "I thought you might need a funny card to cheer you up. How are you doing?" "I'm okay. I miss him," Natalie said as her hand subconsciously went to her necklace. "So do I. Those are beautiful earrings. Are they new?" Natalie nodded. "Apparently Nick had ordered them several months ago. He must've arranged for them to be delivered on my birthday." "They match perfectly." "They do, don't they?" "Are you doing anything tonight?" "I was planning a nice quiet dinner." "Would you like to go out, my treat?" "Sure, why not," Natalie said, pleased not to be spending her birthday alone. "I'll pick you up at the end of your shift. Okay?" "Sounds good." During the lunch hour Grace entered Natalie's office to take her out for a birthday lunch. Grace figured Natalie would need some cheering up since it was her first birthday without Nick. "Those are nice earrings. They match your necklace beautifully. New?" "Yes. Apparently Nick had ordered them several months ago, and had requested they be delivered on my birthday." Natalie fingered the heart hanging around her neck. "How romantic," Grace said. "Yeah, it is. He could be so romantic when he wanted to." They enjoyed lunch at their favorite restaurant. Grace loved watching her friend turn bright red as all the waiters in the restaurant came over to sing to her. The large slice of chocolate fudge cake had a lit candle in it. Natalie made her wish and blew out the candle. The rest of the afternoon was hectic, as the morning had been. Natalie couldn't believe she had to work late on her birthday. Several of the nightshift workers entered Natalie's office for an impromptu birthday party. Grace was in the lead holding the oversized chocolate chip cookie taking the place of a normal cake, a bunch of lit candles stuck into it. For the occasion Grace had armed the crowd with Serpentines. Natalie quickly counted all the candles and realized that there were not quite as many candles as there should be. "Happy birthday to you," the crowd began to sing. They added a humorous verse in an effort to cheer her up. Natalie smiled and relaxed. As soon as they were finished singing she made her wish and blew out the candles. "We were nice this year and didn't put a candle for every year. If we did the cake would've exploded," Grace teased. "Hey, I'm not that old. Just wait until your birthday," Natalie said, returning the tease. Natalie eagerly opened the gift that Grace handed her, knowing it was from the whole group. Inside was another waist pack and a twenty dollar gift certificate for Harrison Athletics. "We figured you'd probably worn out the old one by now." "I had. Thanks." The giant cookie was cut up and served to everyone there. Each person took a piece of the cookie and headed back to their work. Grace disappeared a moment and returned with a gift wrapped box. "Not another mug, I hope," Natalie teased. "No. I think you have plenty of those," Grace said with a smile. Natalie unwrapped her gift with childlike glee and then smiled as she pulled out a pair of black leather gloves. "Thanks. The others were getting a little worn out." She tried them on and noticed that they were incredibly soft, almost like a second skin. "They feel great." "I'm glad you like them," Grace said. "By the way, I decided that if I'd stuck a four and a zero on your cake, I'd be the next one on your table," Grace teased. "Yup," Natalie said, a wicked twinkle in her eyes. "Welcome to the big four-oh," Grace teased as she quickly retreated from the room. Natalie chuckled, not really sure how she felt about hitting forty. She didn't feel like doing any heavy emotional soul searching while she ate her cookie slice so she let her mind wander to lighter things. After she finished her snack, she settled down and opened the first folder on the pile in the corner of her desk. Natalie found that she was able to get the crucial work done within two hours, and the rest would wait until morning. Tracy stopped by the morgue to pick up the birthday girl. She and Natalie went to a local Italian restaurant where they talked over plates of pasta. "This is nice. Thanks. Sorry it's so late, though." "No problem. I didn't think you should have to be alone on your birthday." Natalie smiled a bittersweet smile as she remembered her 28th birthday, the night she met Nick. "What?" Tracy asked, curious. "Did I ever tell you I met Nick on my birthday?" "No. You didn't. How did you two meet?" "He came by to pick up a file, had to wait a moment or two and we talked while waiting for it to print," Natalie lied. She wasn't ready to tell Tracy the whole truth. "I guess it makes the day harder, because it reminds you of that." "Yeah." Natalie stopped by the Schanke residence on her way home from work. Myra saw Natalie pull into the driveway and had the front door open for her as she approached. "Happy Birthday!" Myra cheerfully said as she hugged her friend. "Thank you," Natalie said with a smile as she returned the embrace. Myra ushered Natalie into the family room where Don and Jenny were waiting for her. Both of them hugged Natalie and wished her a happy birthday. They inquired about Natalie's necklace. Natalie told them the same story she'd told Grace. The three Schanke's thought it was a really sweet, romantic gift. Natalie sat next to Jenny on the couch, and was soon handed her first present to open. Natalie tore off the paper, a smile on her face. As she carefully opened the box she found a chocolate heart and a chocolate brain, both anatomically correct. "Thanks, Jenny. I love it!" Natalie's smile caused Jenny's to grow. Jenny was pleased Natalie liked her gift as much as she hoped she would. "I see your sense of humor takes more after your mom," Natalie teased. Don handed Natalie the next present, his present. Natalie unwrapped it, curious to see what he picked out. Natalie saw two movies, Maverick and Raiders of the Lost Ark. "Two of my favorites. Than you!" She'd watched her copies so many times she'd nearly worn them out. Myra handed Natalie her gift. Inside the package, Natalie found a new climbing harness. "Thanks. This is perfect. I almost bought one last week, but work kept me too busy." "I heard. I'm glad you like it," Myra said with a smile. "Mine was just about worn out and knew yours probably was too. "Excuse me a moment," Myra said as she stood and headed for the kitchen. A couple minutes later Myra came out of the kitchen with a chocolate frosted cake full of lit candles. Her friends sang 'Happy Birthday' to her, causing her to smile even bigger. Natalie made a wish and blew out the candles, getting all twenty in one breath. Myra set the cake on the coffee table before handing Natalie the knife. Natalie cut everyone a generous slice, saving the first one for herself. They ate their cake and enjoyed each other's company. A couple hours later Natalie was yawning and said thank you and goodnight to her friends before heading out. A few days later, Natalie arrived home from her twelve hour shift exhausted. She grabbed her mail on the way to the elevator. As soon as she entered the loft she kicked off her shoes, set down her purse, briefcase and black medical bag. She quickly flipped through the mail. She saw a large envelope from the de Brabant Foundation and ripped it open. Inside was a small stack of paperwork containing all the information she needed to know about her new research account. She quickly scanned the information, being too tired to read it. Her eyes grew larger and her jaw dropped as she saw how much money Nick had given her - ten million dollars. He had set it up so that she would never have to pay taxes on the money. She could not believe it. Natalie put that paperwork in a safe spot, not wanting anyone to find it and start questioning her or worse, investigate. She knew it was completely legit but would rather not have that can of worms opened. She looked through the rest of her mail and found a typewritten envelope that somehow caught her attention. There was nothing noteworthy about it. She opened it, found a type written note on Foundation stationary. 'Dear Natalie, You should by now have the paperwork. Checks will be arriving within a day or so. Feel free to use this money should you ever need anything for yourself. I wanted to make sure that you had more than enough funds to work with. If you ever need anything let me know. Sincerely, Nicholas de Brabant.' A tear rolled down her cheek as it again hit her how much she missed him. He had seen to it that she would be taken care of until they could be together again. She knew he would want her to use it to make her life easier. She was torn between that idea and saving the money for when she was forced to quit work. A part of her knew that she would never have to worry about money. She didn't want to use his money when she could still pay for things with her salary. She wiped away the tear as she carefully filed away Nick's letter and headed for the bedroom to change. While she was slipping out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable her mind wandered. ******** to be continued... I redid the last major scene at the end of part nine, so if you're saving the parts, please replace the old version with the new version. You'll see what I mean when you read it. I don't own the characters. If I did, they'd be treated much better. I do promise to put them away properly when I'm done with them. You must see to be continued to have the entire part. Send all comments to DanaKnight@aol.com Transitions pt 10 by Judith Freudenthal 1999/2000 A few days later, Natalie arrived home from her twelve hour shift exhausted. She grabbed her mail on the way to the elevator. As soon as she entered the loft she kicked off her shoes, set down her purse, briefcase and black medical bag. She quickly flipped through the mail. She saw a large envelope from the deBrabant Foundation and ripped it open. Inside was a small stack of paperwork containing the information she needed to know about her new research account. She quickly scanned the information, being too tired to read it all. Her eyes grew larger and her jaw dropped as she saw how much money Nick had given her - ten million dollars. He had set it up so that she would never have to pay taxes on the money. She could not believe it. Natalie put that paperwork in a safe spot, not wanting anyone to find it and start questioning her or worse, investigate. She knew it was completely legit but would rather not have that can of worms