Date: Tue, 13 Feb 1996 18:26:02 -0500 From: Carrie Krumtum Subject: Vacations (Part 1) This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 1: The Evening Before) By Carrie Krumtum Nat had been working without a vacation for way too long. When she had put through her request she hadn't even really considered what she would do with her time. The beach, the mountains, or maybe just stay home. No. Not home. Not this close. She needed distance. She needed to gain some perspective. She needed to decide. This was going to be hard. She sighed. She would be leaving tomorrow. She would just pack up the car and head for the open road. See where it would take her. But, tonight she needed to tell him she would be gone for the week. She sighed again. This WAS going to be hard. Nick had been planning this time off for weeks. He wanted to surprise her by telling her tonight that he had gotten his vacation request through. He was going to take her out. Get her away from the morgue. She needed it. She had been so tired lately. They all had been tired. The past few months had been hard and there had been some problems but things were looking up. He walked into the morgue with a big smile on his face. Nat was looking at a specimen through the microscope and raised her hand peremptorily when she heard him come in. "Be right with you." She made a note on the pad next to her and peered back into the microscope. "Ah ha. That's it." She looked up at him. "I'm done!" "Ready to go home then?" Nick asked. He still had the smile on his face. "Just as soon as I clean up. Why so happy?" She grinned at him. His smile was kind of contagious. "I've got some good news." He caught her from behind and around the waist as she rose from the lab stool. Oh boy, she thought, I'm really going to rain on his parade. "Yah? What?" She looked at his grin, "WHAT?" "What would you say if I told you I've got a week off and I wanted to spend it with you?" Nat turned to face him stepping back to gain distance and break the hold he had on her. "Uh, Nick." She stopped. She didn't know how she was going to tell him. Damn. Nick could see the look on her face was definitely NOT what he had expected. He looked at her without the grin and with growing concern. "I thought you would maybe like that. What? Do you have plans or something?" He tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "Uh, well..." She didn't meet his gaze. Damn. "I'm...uhh...going out of town tomorrow. I'll be gone all week. My vacation...." He brightened a little. "Want some company?" He knew the instant that he said it she did not. She wasn't looking at him but every sense he had told him he had made a BIG mistake. He should have never presumed she would be happy about his news OR that she would want to spend the time with him. Why hadn't she told him she was leaving town? "Nick..." She turned to the lab table and began putting the slides in their appropriate boxes and then placing them in their appropriate drawers. "I just need to get away for a while. You know. Take a break from everything. It's been so crazy lately, and, well...I just need to get away." He heard it in her voice. "From me." She looked at him then. His face held the hurt she knew would be there. "Not just you Nick. Everything. I need to think." He turned away from her then. This was making him feel...well...like a fool. He was getting angry and he really wasn't sure why. She had every right to take her vacation and spend it however she chose. Didn't she? He had no claim on her. Did he? "About?" He heard her sigh. "Everything." She moved to him and touched his arm. "I'm not walking away Nick. I'm taking a time out. There IS a difference." She let her hand fall away from him and tried to sound sympathetic to what he must be feeling. "Please Nick. Just give me a few days, okay?" He face was unreadable when he turned back to her. He touch her hair gently, "Okay." He didn't really know what else to say. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 2: The First Morning) By Carrie Krumtum Nick had spent the whole night sitting at her beside. He listened to her breath and counted her heartbeat. He had wanted to touch her but didn't dare wake her. He really hadn't thought about what he was doing there. He just needed the proximity. She was leaving in a few short hours to...where? He didn't know. He didn't know if she would come back. He didn't know what would happen if she did come back. The only thing he was sure of was that she was leaving. Her resolve was apparent when she had told him last evening. He would let her go. "If you love someone let them go..." he whispered. Natalie awoke feeling chilled. The window of her bedroom was open just a crack. I don't remember opening the window, she thought. Oh girl, you've had too much on your mind. She closed it and went to take a shower. She had to drop Sydney off with Grace this morning and then she was free to leave town. She had three different maps and was not yet sure which one she would use. Well, she thought, if the hero can ride off into the sunset a maid should be able to ride off into the sunrise. Sydney purred as he nuzzled at her ankle. She picked him up and petted him. "It's okay, I'll be back soon. You mind Grace. No bills for shredded curtains. Do you hear me?" Sydney purred. She checked her machine one last time. The light wasn't blinking. No messages. She had thought that there might be at least one from him. Guess not. She made a last visual sweep of her apartment to be sure she hadn't forgotten anything then closed and locked the door. Nick sat perfectly still. He stared at the items sitting on the table in front of him. A half empty goblet, the bottle, the phone. He had reached for the phone more than a dozen times in the last two hours or so. He wasn't really sure how long he had sat there. She would be gone by now. He should get some sleep. He remained where he was. He felt as if he had no energy to lift his body from the chair. He would have to move from his chair soon. The remote was on the other side of the room and the sun was up. The beams from the sunrise slowly advanced across the floor. He estimated that it would be another thirteen minutes before the first rays reached his feet. He sighed. He remained where he was. He stared at the items on the table in front of him. He sat perfectly still. Still until...OUCH! He yanked his foot sideways out of the sunlight. He glanced down at it. It was smoking. He rose then and skirting the rays that flooded into the room he reached the remote. He pushed the buttons to close the blinds and watched as darkness overtook the room as they fell. He listened intently to the grinding sound the mechanism made as the motors dropped the blinds into place. He waited until the grinding stopped as the blinds were forced shut. He sighed. He took two steps, whirled on the ball of one foot and dropped onto the sofa. He covered his eyes with one forearm. He didn't remember going to sleep. She was on the road only about a half hour when she had to make her first stop. She needed to buy sunglasses. It had been so long since she had driven in the daytime that she had forgotten how intense the sunlight through the windshield could get. She tried on several pair from a rack in the convenience store until she found a pair she liked. Walking up to the counter she passed the magazine stand and a picture caught her eye. She picked up the copy of Mountaineer Mag and stared at the picture on the cover. The scene was the most beautiful she could remember seeing. The snow peeked mountains in the background with a cabin by a lake in the fore. The trees were green and the sky and lake surface were so blue. Like the blue of his eyes...She shook her head. No, let's not start thinking about that too soon. She turned her attention back to the cover. "Yes." She took both items to the counter and paid for them. Sitting in the front seat of her car she checked the table of contents page of the magazine and found the photo credit for the cover. It read 'Crystal Lake, Penn.' She noted the story line on the cover. "B and B's in Heaven'. Finding the page reference on the table of contents she turned to the article. She read the brief description of the amenities listed for the Mountain Top Inn located at Crystal Lake. There was a phone number listed. She got change out of her purse, pulled out a credit card and walked to the payphone on the outside wall of the store. She dialed the number published in the article. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie ased on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 3: The First Evening) By Carrie Krumtum She had been driving all day. After making the reservations she had bought a US map and traced the route suggested by the owner of the Mountain Top Inn. The sun was setting as she rounded the bend and saw the sign. She took the turn off and followed the winding road to the front of the Inn. As she pulled up she could see the lake behind the main building of the Inn. The mountains shone behind the lake as the sunset behind her. She stood enraptured at the view. This was perfect. He had been awake for about an hour before he got up. He lay on the sofa where he had dropped. Well Nick, what are YOU going to do with YOUR vacation? He didn't want to do anything. He wanted to be with her. Well...that's not going to happen now, is it? He sighed. Nat. Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. Hell. No I wouldn't have. He got up and found the remote where he had left it. He opened the blinds to watch the last fading rays of sun disappear into darkness. Darkness. Appropriate for him. He didn't turn on the lights. He didn't need them to see anyway. He felt the darkness around him, like a shroud for the dead. He felt dead. Inside. No joy, no anger, no bitterness, no...nothing. Dead. His feet felt planted in the concrete of his loft floor. He continued to stare out the window as the city lit up for the night. A night without her. "Natalie Lambert." She gave her credit card to the owner at the registration desk in the foyer of the Inn. The building was of Victorian type architecture and included eight rooms on three floors with a common bath on each floor. Currently the Inn had only five guests. Six with her arrival. It was not yet peak season and she was lucky to find the article. Sometimes fate can be kind. "Yes, here you are." The owner/Inn keeper was a middle aged woman, plump and rather short, but with an easy smile and an air of sincere hospitality. "Thank you for choosing Mountain Top Inn Ms. Lambert. I hope your stay with us will be enjoyable. My name is Thelma if you need anything." Thelma handed her a key on a small carved wooden keychain. The carving was an eagle. Simple and elegant. "Thank you. I will." Natalie smiled as she looked at the keychain. An eagle. "Your room is on the second floor. Two doors down on the left. Can I have my son get your bags?" Thelma came around the desk to stand in front of her. "Oh yeah, sure." She handed the woman the keys to her car. Thelma left to find her son and Natalie ascended the broad staircase to the second floor. She traced the banister with her hands and enjoyed the feel of the rich polished finish. She turned left at the top of the stairs and found her room. The door was unlocked and she stepped into the room. It was beautiful. The bed was a fourposted bed with a hand quilted spread. The dressing table was set before a large full length mirror. The curtains fluttered in the light breeze that spilled through the open windows that were on either side of the bed. This was just perfect. She couldn't have done better if she had planned it. "Tonight, dear listeners, we talk of belonging. Of ties that bind. Ties that link us. Ties to our history, our family. Ties that define our lives. Your ties are to me. I am the Nightcrawler. And I am tied to you with bonds that cannot be broken." Nick had turned on the radio with the remote but hadn't moved from his spot in front of the window. "Some bonds are meant to be broken, others are bonds that cannot be. You must learn to define which is which. It is the life long struggle is it not? To define for ourselves which ties to keep knotted and which ties to cut free. There are bonds that bind us against our will. Bonds that define who we are and who we come from. Then there are artificial bonds. Temporary ties that restrict us from strengthening the ties that truly bind. Cast of the earthly ties that bind your mind and heart, that keep you from the true bond of family that is here for you. I am here for you. My bond to you is eternal. I am the Nightcrawler and you are bound to me." She had unpacked and changed into her sweats. They were the most comfortable things she owned. She opened the cover of the blank journal she had brought with her. She picked up her pen and looked at the first blank page. She had thought that if she kept a journal, maybe wrote things out it would help her to figure this thing out. Her mind went blank. How to begin? She didn't know. She closed up the journal and laid the pen on the cover. There was a knock on the door. Thelma stepped in as she opened the door carrying a tray of food. "You arrived too late for supper so I just brought you up a little something." She placed the tray on the dressing table. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful of you." Natalie smiled at her. "Well, have a good nights rest dear." Thelma left and she closed the door. She looked over the tray and smelled the fresh baked bread. YUM. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten fresh baked bread. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 4: The Second Morning) By Carrie Krumtum He looked up at the stars from his place by the window. They shined with the light of universes unknown to him. He wondered if there even existed a place in all of creation where there could be no such things as vampires. That was the core of it. He was a vampire. She was not. They were creatures of two very different worlds thrown together in common history. Fate was cruel. He guessed it was about three am. He began to feel dizzy. He staggered into the fireplace mantle and leaned heavily against the wall. How long had he stood there thinking? He was sure. He had stood unthinking and unmoving for a long time. Listening to the radio. He had heard the Nightcrawler's monologue come and go, music, then dead air. He had turned the radio of with the remote and noted the silence. It was the silence that started him thinking. How silent would his life be without her? How plain? How empty? He couldn't answer his own question. He was afraid to answer his own question. He hadn't fed since coming home yesterday morning. He turned to see the goblet still half empty and the open bottle on the table where he had left them. He walked to the refrigerator and opened the door. He took the nearest bottle off the top shelf and saw the protein shake that Nat had prepared for him two days ago. She had made one of these for him nearly daily for years. He made faces, gagged when drinking, made excuses when she gave them to him. He had never once thanked her. Not once. Damn idiot. Damn. He felt dizzy again. He looked from the bottle to the shake and back, then he closed the door to the refrigerator and pulled the cork from the bottle with his teeth and spat it across the room. He placed the bottle to his lips and drank then. Slowly at first and then with urgency as he felt the hunger rise in him. He didn't stop until the bottle was empty. He was breathing heavily and his head was spinning. He leaned forward onto the refrigerator and placed his head on his arm. Damn. He was still hungry. He set down the empty bottle on the counter and opened the door again reaching for a second bottle. He stopped half way there seeing the shake again. He slowly reached for the shake. She knew she was dreaming. She had to be. The sun was up. She heard him call to her from behind and she turned to see him running to her. His hair was a beautiful golden mane about his head as he ran. His eyes were bluer than the crystal clear water of the lake. His smile outshone the sun! She loved to see him in the sunshine. With the sunshine in his face. He called to her again. She wanted to call back, to run to him, but, she could make no sound, she could not move. Every muscle in her body tensed with her effort to begin the movement toward him. She could not move! She felt the panic rise up in her, she wanted to shout to him. She opened her mouth to shout. She made no sound. She tried harder. She tried to scream his name. The darkness behind him began to build and rapidly advanced towards him. The smile on his face vanished as he looked behind him and saw the blackness that gave chase. He tried to run faster, the fear was clearly etched on his face. She tried again to scream, to tell him to run faster. He was losing ground now. He wouldn't reach her before the darkness overtook him. He looked back again and stumbled, falling forward onto the path leading to her by the lake. The darkness rolled relentlessly forward and he disappeared within it....The last thing she heard was his scream.... She bolted upright and grabbed a post of the bed, holding on for dear life. Her heart was racing and her breathing raged. She had been dreaming. She knew she had. She felt the sweat roll down her back and began to shiver with a chill that began in her bones. Oh God, she thought. Nick... He threw the cup containing the protein shake with all the strength he possessed against the door of the bathroom. The cup seemed to explode on impact as the lid came off and the contents splashed the wall with beige liquid. He then grabbed the empty bottle he had just drained and flung it in the same direction. It shattered on impact and the sound of breaking glass filled the loft. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 5: The Second Evening) By Carrie Krumtum She had recovered from her nightmare. Mind you, it had taken almost all day to do it. She had gotten up afterwards and gone down to watch the sunrise from the porch. It was a beautiful sunrise. She stood entranced by the colors and the majesty of the scene. She wished he was there with her enjoying this. Her heart ached then. No, no. She sighed. This time is for you. You need to think this all through. You REALLY need to think this all through or you'll go crazy. That dream...remember the panic, the fear? This is your life unless you figure some things out. She watched the shadows shorten as the sun climbed. She was just turning to go back to her room when someone called her name. "Ms. Lambert?" He had cleaned up his mess and showered before going to bed. It was mechanical and practiced in every respect. He had thought that the burst of anger would make him feel better. It hadn't. He had slept an empty sleep. No dreams. He heard the sounds of his loft, that's all. When he awoke he felt no better. Empty. The loft was so empty. He dressed and fed. He stood watching the last rays of sun disappear with twilight and wondered about where she was. Wherever it was, he hoped she was smiling. That surprised him. He really did hope she was happy. It was all he could give her right now. He best wishes. He didn't know where she was, if she was happy. He could only wish. It was dark now. He opened the window and took to the air. Thelma had seen her on the porch and gone to tell her that breakfast would soon be served. Natalie was hungry, she hadn't eaten much from the tray the night before. During breakfast she met the other guest, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, newly weds who would be leaving today. Good, she thought, I don't need to be reminded.... Mrs. Emma Rand, an eighty year old ex-school teacher who came to the Inn every year. She was something. She was full of life and vitality. Still drove and could walk at a good clip Nat noted. She would have to talk to her about her secret to longevity. Something other than the night shift.... Mr. and Mrs. Roddenwell, a middle aged couple from Virginia here on vacation. They were motoring across the country just to see the sites. They were an open and cordial couple. He had prostate cancer. They had decided to see as much as they could before the disease incapacitated him. They were not morose or morbid. They seemed genuinely happy and, he especially, quite content with their lives in the here and now. Nick could learn a thing or two from this guy.... The Roddenwell's did most of the talking through all three meals. The Johnson's had left shortly after lunch. That left only four guests at the Inn. She liked that. She really just wanted quiet and time. Time to think. She really hadn't done much thinking today. She had spent most of the day walking the grounds of the Inn and discovering the beauty of the place. She walked along the lake edge, up a path in the hills, along the flower lined road that led back to the highway. This was a beautiful place. She felt safe here. At peace here. It was a shallow peace, she knew. But it was enough for her now. She needed time to let this play out in her head. And her heart.... He flew. He hadn't really had a destination. He just needed to be out. He flew. He felt the air pass him, his hair tugged by the wind. The sound of the city and it's people surrounded him. He could catch small snatches of conversations, arguments, moments of passion. He kept going. He flew. Then he was at her apartment. He stopped at the window of her bedroom. He didn't go in. He looked at the room through the window. It was a pretty room. Personal. Bookshelves filled with her favorites. Vanity topped with the personals she had left behind. The bedspread her grandmother had made for her. The place smelled of her. He flew away. He continued to fly...he could still smell her. He pick up speed. The air rushing past could not dim the odor. He reached maximum velocity. He flew. He felt the exhaustion coming on and headed for the loft. He didn't slow until just before the window he had left. Then he was back...breathing hard from the exertion. He paced the loft. He could smell her here as well.... After she had finished dinner she had gone to her room just long enough to get her sweater and had spent the remainder of the evening on the porch sitting in the porch swing. The air was clean and smelled of the flowers. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Unbidden she saw his face then. It was filled with confusion and pain. The face she had seen at the morgue when she told him she would be leaving for the week. She opened her eyes. What are you going to do? She asked herself. You can't keep going the way you've been going. That road was leading you to unhappiness and pain. You don't want that. What do you want? That was really the question, wasn't it? What do you really want? For most of her life she had known the answer to that question. She had wanted to be a doctor. She had wanted to be a wife, a mother. She wanted to make a difference. Pathology was her way of contributing. She had wanted to be happy. Her life had gone pretty much as planned. She had finished med school and residency, worked at her job long enough to feel competent. She was making a difference. The bad guys went to jail and families had answers. She hadn't got married but she felt that that would come eventually. Her life made sense to her. Then he was brought to the morgue and her world was changed. It was if the rules didn't apply anymore. She had to look at it at first like a scientific puzzle. She had to try and solve the puzzle and make it all make sense. To fit her new reality into the old rules. What she had found was that the old rules of her life, her universe, couldn't quite cover all of this new reality. She had tried to make it work. To look at his condition from a scientific point of view. To find a way of manipulating the variables to reach the desired outcome. But, she found that she couldn't control ANY of the variables. Not even her own heart.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 6: The Third Morning) By Carrie Krumtum The night had been long and he was tired. So tired. Too tired for the events, he thought. He had taken a flight then returned to the loft. He felt and smelled her in every corner of his world. Nat. He could not escape her. He seemed so filled with her that there was no room for anything else. He didn't even listen to the radio last night. He had had enough of LaCroix for now. He didn't need the psychoanalysis. What he needed was Nat. Pure and simple. Sure, he had been in love before. He had loved deeply and without reservation. He had loved superficially and with ulterior motives. He had loved sacrificial and selfishly. He had loved. But never like this. He could never remember a time that he felt quite this way. This terrible wonderfulness. The exquisite pain. What if she didn't...couldn't love him? He knew she had feelings for him. She had told him that she loved him. But that was over a year ago and a lost night's memory away. There had been a lot of water under the bridge since. The feelings they shared always remained at arms length. For good reason, he thought. This could only end in her pain, or, he shivered at the thought, her death. He closed his eyes to try and shut out the vision of her dead body in his arms. He had been down that road before. No. This was a fear deeper than that. What if, when she thought about them, together, the possibilities, she realized she could not love him? Why should she? He had SEEN the condition of his soul. Worm ridden and hideous. Twisted with the damnation that scared him. A cold heart. A killer's soul. How could she love that? Why would she? Didn't she deserve more? A lover who was pure of heart? True love? Selfless love? What could he possibly give her but his need. HIS need. That was all he had given her in over four years. And he had taken from her. Taken her ignorance to the darkness and scared the lighted world she had once felt joy in. He had taken her joy. He had filled her life with sadness. It was there in her eyes like the blue color of a sun filled sky. A sadness replete with loss. Loss of her dreams. And yet, she had given and given.... She had slept without the nightmares, but, she had slept little. She had lain awake for much of the night. She had thought about him. Nick. She couldn't help how she felt. You just don't' turn your feelings on and off. None of that 'love is a choice' crap. She loved him. He filled places in her she had not known needed filling. He was becoming her world. She felt like she was losing herself in him. But, was that bad? Isn't love supposed to be like that? She didn't know. Maybe she had been in love before. Carl, in college, maybe. But that had been nothing like this. This feeling was so...different. So BIG. It seemed to encompass the entire universe. She couldn't escape it. Of course not. It had been every bit this large...or...deep...or...whatever it was, from the very beginning.... The music filled his ears but could not deafen the memory of the laughter. The scorn filled laughter. He played. Played for hours in the early light of the day. He left the blinds open. Let the sun come. He played. His hands moved across the keys mechanically at first. He played one piece after another. The notes came as if of their own volition. He pounded out the melodies and harmonies without real thought. Then the mood of the music began to change. The pieces took on a softer edge where they had been harsh and threatening before. He remembered the mocking, scornful laughter. LaCroix and Janette had both found his quest so ridiculous. They didn't understand his need to regain mortality. They...LaCroix had twisted the search, the motives, the need, to suit his own purposes. To reclaim him. To punish him. To shame him. To amuse himself. Yes, that was it. He could still hear the laughter. That laughter. Mocking him. Perhaps he was pitiable and laughable. Perhaps LaCroix had been right all along. No. NO! He shook his head as he played. He listened to the melody changes. She didn't believe that. She believed in the possibility. After so long...someone shared the belief with him. Someone could believe even when he could not. Someone had that strength. She had that strength. He played. She remained quiet through breakfast. The fatigue from a long night written on her face. The situation was not lost on Emma. She looked at this young doctor with interest. Such a young girl to be filled with such sadness. She would befriend this young one. She liked her. After eighty years she could spot a good egg when she saw one. A good egg but a lost one, she noted. She had always believed there was a reason for everything. Yes, she thought, I would like to know her. Natalie was the only person staying on the second floor since the departure of the Johnson's. She asked Thelma if she could lie in the bathtub for a while. She had always loved to take long baths. She could think in the bath. Thelma smiled and promised to guard the door if she needed to. Nat assured her that would hardly be necessary. The tub was large and cozy. The warm water was plentiful and soothing. She lay her head back and luxuriated in it. He played for her then. He played with passion. Caressing the keys to coax the beauty of the music out of them. For her... She thought, as she lay surrounded by the warm water, that she heard music. Piano. Funny, she thought, I don't remember seeing a piano in the house. The music was beautiful, wherever it was coming from. It relaxed her even more. She smiled as she fell asleep.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 7: The Third Evening) By Carrie Krumtum The bath had helped. She had relaxed. Falling asleep hadn't been in the plans but, she must have needed that as well. The lake was so beautiful this evening. She just walked along the edge and, having picked some flowers, smelled them caressing their petals. She could still hear the music. It had been lovely. The tone seemed familiar. It reminded her of him. Funny thing was, Thelma had denied there having been any piano music. She had been in the house the whole time Nat bathed and couldn't remember hearing any type of music. Oh, well, Nat thought, a tired mind will play havoc with the senses. It was beautiful anyway.... Emma watched Natalie from the porch. Now there is a sweet, lost child if ever I saw one. She is strong though. Emma had been much like that in her youth. She smiled at herself. Her youth. Long, long ago. He had played until the sun forced him to close the blinds. He remember then just how tired he was. He needed rest. His mind wouldn't allow the sleep to come. He tossed and turned on the bed for the better part of the day. He roamed the loft now. He felt caged. But, he lacked the drive to attempt escape. Escape. There was no escape. He winced at the sunset as the blinds rose. She was seeing the sunset now. Somewhere. He wished he was with her. He felt so distant from her then. The emotion hit him like a physical blow. He leaned against the window pane. Nat. He felt panic rise within him. He couldn't remember her face. He tried to summon the image but it would not come. Nat! Nat! "You don't mind if I join you?" Nat asked Ms. Rand as she reached the porch. "Not at all dear. Please sit down here next to me." Emma patted the seat on the swing. "It's Dr. Lambert isn't it?" Natalie took the place on the swing proffered to her. "It's Natalie." She smiled at the older woman. "And I am Emma." Emma smiled back at her. Yes, a sweet, lost child. "What brings you to my favorite spot on earth Natalie?" "You come here every year don't you? It is beautiful." Natalie caressed the petals of the flowers she was holding. Emma seemed to be looking right trough her. It wasn't malicious, but it did make her feel a little uncomfortable. "Yes. Yes it is." Emma paused. The silence was soft but she could tell it was uncomfortable for her young acquaintance. The question had gone unanswered. Perhaps she was not ready yet. "You know, I had no idea where I would be three days ago? I just headed out. I needed to get away, " Nat began, she felt the need to talk to someone. Emma seemed kind. Nat had talked to the squirrels by the lake, but, it's pretty hard to keep perspective when they are concerned with nuts and you are concerned with vampires. One certain vampire in particular. "I just needed a place to think. Do you ever get like that?" The question was weak. Emma knew this young woman was far to intelligent to be so shallow. It was an invitation, to share, to help. She liked her. "Yes. I do. That IS why I come here." Nat looked at her face. "After eighty years I have a lot to think about." "Yeah," Nat half laughed, "me too. Not that I'm eighty," she realized how that must have sounded, "but I have a lot to think about." Emma placed her hand on the sleeve of Nat's sweatered arm, "Life gives all of us a lot to think about." Her face was filled with an understanding that astonished Nat. Guess this is wisdom. Wish she would bottle it and sell me some, Nat thought, I could use it right about now. "Especially when it is a matter of the heart." Nat looked at her with renewed wonder. "How did you...?" Emma laughed, not a mocking laugh, "In my years, all my years, I've seen it many times. In my students. My friends. Myself." She let go of Natalie's arm. "It is, after all, the most common of life's trials." They talked then. Emma, mostly listening, Nat mostly sharing. Sharing with a near perfect stranger. There seemed to be safety in that. Of course she couldn't talk about the vampire. She didn't need to. He was so guilt ridden. The obstacles were so numerous without the vampire. She talked about them. His need and her need. The bond they had developed. The walls they had erected. The emotions that threatened to drown her. She talked. Emma listened. "I come to you this evening, gentle listeners, with a parable. A parable about value. What do you value? It's seems that there was once a merchant who found a pearl. A pearl of great price. He coveted to the pearl. He must have the pearl. You know what he did, don't you? He sold all that he had. Everything. He walked away from it all. And...he bought the pearl. Was he happier with the pearl? Did he get a bargain? Did you? You've heard the old adage, the pearl is always brighter? Well, maybe, maybe not. One thing is certain. You have found a pearl in the Nightcrawler." He turned the radio off. The end table beside the sofa was littered with empty bottles, photographs, cards, the pill box, his watch. He had kept every one. All the little momentos of their friendship. Everything she had given him. They were like a lifeline. The time they had shared. All of it. Was precious. Precious to him. Did he get a bargain? He had received the universe with her friendship. What had she received? Did she get a bargain? Hardly. He looked through the photographs. He had needed to see her face again. What are you going to do Nat? I won't blame you if you walk away. A solitary tear slid down his face. Please, please...don't walk away.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 8: The Fourth Morning) By Carrie Krumtum She woke up feeling a little better. It was late when she had gone to bed. She and Emma had talked for a long time. Emma had lost her husband ten years ago. They had been married since Emma was seventeen. Theirs was true love. Life long love. Nat wanted that. She wanted that with him. That was what she wanted. What you want and what you get are two different things. But, Emma had asked her something. Emma believed everything happened for a reason. Was it not possible that Nick was always meant to be for her? It wasn't that easy. She had wanted to tell Emma about the vampire. To tell her about how impossible it all was. What really separated them. If she could not find a way to bring him back across, to make him human again, they could never be together. Never marry. Never have children. Never. He would not bring her across. She knew that. He wouldn't even discuss it with her. He hated what he was. The evil he believed infested his soul. The bloodlust and the night. It was the demon he fought every second of every minute of his eternity. She couldn't even imagine what that must be like. How had he managed to struggle for so long? For centuries. She could barely deal with the past few years. Her life was defined by time. His was not. She would grow old and die. He would not. She could have a family, recreate herself in her children. Leave a legacy of love and growth. He could only create more darkness. Bring another soul across. She had seen what that darkness does to a kind soul. She had seen it in Richard. Richard. Yes, that had hurt. Not just her but Nick. She had demanded he do this for her. She had accused him of not caring. Of playing God. She had hurt him. And...he had done it for her. He had done the thing he swore he would not. For her. And it had hurt him. Richard had become what Nick had been. Nick had had eight centuries to learn to control his nature. He still didn't have perfect control. He had strength that seemed deeper than oceans. But it was not always enough. Richard had no time to gain control and it destroyed him. That destruction had hurt Nick in ways she would never understand. His age had shown clearly in his eyes that day. The weariness. She had done that to him. She sighed as she got out of bed and dressed to go down stairs to breakfast. If Nick was meant for her did that mean she was meant for him? She sighed again. What did HE want? Surely he deserved someone who would not hurt him that way. He had spent the night slowly. Time seemed to pass so slowly now. Eternity seemed too long to endure. He felt as if another second of eternity was too much, too long. He just wanted it to end. Then, he could hear her voice in his head. 'How dare you. How dare you stand there and not care. Not care if you die. How do you think that makes me feel?' Nat. He sighed. It's been so long. So hard. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. Maybe Erica was right. Maybe I've become a burden. Surely I have become a burden for you. You deserve better. So much more. He was holding a photograph of her. He had stared at that face for hours. Yes, you deserve the universe. And I. I deserve hell. He could tell this was getting dangerous. The feelings he picked up were growing increasingly more distressing. He would have to take the personal approach. Perhaps a good spanking was in order. Spare the rod, he thought. He had only a few minutes before dawn to get there.... "Did you sleep well dear?" Emma asked her as she sat down at the table. The Roddenwell's had left early that morning on the next leg of their trip. Thelma had said that there were no more reservations scheduled until this upcoming weekend. She and Emma were to be the only guests for a few days. "Yes, thank you." Nat said it without conviction. She had slept. She had felt a little better at first. But now, now her heart hurt. Emma noted the incongruity. She would work it out. She was strong. Emma was sure she would. Natalie had to decide whether or not she wanted to be happy. That was it. Exactly. Happiness is a state of mind. Not a medical condition. You can decide to be happy wherever you are if you want to. The key is being at peace with the decisions you make. She was making decisions now. Could she be happy with them? Emma hoped so. "What do you want?" The venom in his voice gave the darkness in the loft a menacing quality. He had not moved. Not looked up at him. He had sensed his arrival instantly. "What the hell are you doing here?" LaCroix had arrived on the top floor of the loft. He descended the stairs slowly. "Why Nicholas, I have come to see you, of course." "Go back. I don't want you here." "That may be. But, you need me." LaCroix reached the bottom of the staircase and stopped. Nick still hadn't moved. The anger he generated was palpable. "I don't need you." "Nicholas. Poor boy, you do not know what you need." It had always been that way with him. Nick rose then, slowly. Deliberately. Menacingly. He was in no mood to banter with LaCroix. He turned to face LaCroix. The look on his face was the darkest look LaCroix had ever seen there. Yes, this situation was well out of hand. Well, he would have to take it back. "I...do...not...need...you!" His words struck LaCroix in the face with each syllable. He smiled. Children could be such trials. "What you need is to come to your senses. You really cannot go on this way Nicholas. What would the neighbors think?" He mocked him. Nick let the words pass over him. Deserve hell? I'm already in hell! "Get out. NOW! Get out before I kill you!" His hands were clenched so tightly that there was no color to the flesh. LaCroix stood staring at his son for a moment. Judging. He could not possibly kill him. He very nearly succeeded once. He was powerful now. LaCroix sensed it. This threat was real. But, he was too ancient and strong to be frightened by this threat. He would kill Nicholas if he had to. That would be a loss he did not relish. "Don't be silly Nicholas. You are incapable of it. You have tired." Nick was behind him in an instant. LaCroix felt the pressure against his back just behind his heart. "Perhaps you are capable of it." His voice had not changed in tone. He was still mocking him. Nick was undecided. The paint brush handle he held would end it. All he had to do was thrust. He wanted to end this. To get away from him forever. To end this slavery to LaCroix's twisted plans, schemes. He had been a pawn long enough! He place a little more pressure on his target. LaCroix flinched than, ever so slightly. That move was just enough to distract Nicholas' concentration. He whirled and grabbed the hand with the brush. He squeezed the wrist. Nicholas' face grimaced with the pain. LaCroix hit him then with his free hand. The blow sent Nicholas back onto the staircase. The brush skidded across the floor and came to rest against the far wall. LaCroix had him around the throat and lifted him to the skylight. They hung there in midair. LaCroix snarled at him, "Is that anyway to treat your father?" Their golden eyes glared at each other. Nick gripped LaCroix's wrist with both hands. Let this end then, he thought. He released his grip and let his hands hang down at his sides. He kept his gaze steady. He was not afraid to die here. LaCroix saw it in his face. No. That would be too easy. He threw Nicholas backward into the wall. Nicholas bounced off the wall and plunged all the way down to the bottom level of the loft, hitting and smashing a chair on his way down. LaCroix landed only inches from his head. He knelt down and whispered to him, "I will not kill you Nicholas. I will help you." He reached for Nicholas' collar and drug him to his feet. He threw him back against the far wall, the door to the elevator. LaCroix hit him with his fist as hard as he could, snapping Nicholas' head back against the metal of the door. Nick kept an even look on his face. How many times in the past had this happened? Had he endured this kind of treatment? This was helping him? He took another blow to his jaw. "This is hurting me much more than it is hurting you Nicholas." LaCroix remained calm. He would have to really hurt him before he would get a rise out of him. He grabbed his shoulders and threw him over his head into the fireplace across the room. Nick crashed into the fireplace head first. He knew LaCroix was trying to get him to react. To bring the bloodlust to the fore. He would not give in this time. If he killed him. He would not give in. He attempted to stand. His left shoulder was dislocated. It felt like his jaw was broken. it took him several tries but he managed to stand and face LaCroix. He advanced toward Nicholas. He was angry now. What would it take? "You must stop this Nicholas! I will not tolerate this self destructive behavior in you any longer. You are my son. You will NEVER be human again!. NEVER!" He hit him again. Nicholas reeled back against the mantle with a groan. Nick stood again. He faced him. He kept his face even. It was odd, the resolve he felt. He wasn't at war within. Yes, odd. A kind of peace. He took another blow to his chest. The fire exploded inside him. LaCroix hit him so hard that he could hear the rib cage break. It wouldn't kill him but it would knock him out. Nicholas dropped unconscious at his feet. "Damn you Nicholas!" He picked him up and carried him to the sofa. Nicholas would heal. He always did. This blackness in his heart was another matter. LaCroix had seen the resolve in his eyes. What he didn't know is what Nicholas had resolved to do. Defy him for the rest of eternity? Commit suicide? Continue this infernal quest for redemption? What ever it was he was very sure he would NOT be happy with it. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 9: The Fourth Evening) By Carrie Krumtum They had talked again over lunch. Emma had pointed out that happiness was a choice. Nat had not considered that. Love, at least for her, was not. But happiness? Could she be truly happy with the decisions she had to make? She didn't know. She sat at the vanity in her room staring at the empty pages of her journal. She hadn't managed to write a word. Not one single word. It was as if to write it down would make it immutable. Unchangeable. She didn't need that now. She needed flexibility. She need enough room to think. She closed the journal then and packed it into her suitcase. She would do this all in her heart. That was where the matter belonged anyway. The first thing he became aware of was the pain in his chest. Every effort to breath caused the pain to explode anew. It was dark. He cast his senses into the room. He was alone. He didn't know what time it was. He wasn't even sure what day it was or how long he had lain there. Lain where? He has on his sofa. But he had been on the floor when he lost consciousness. LaCroix. The events of their encounter returned to him then. He tentatively laid a hand on his chest. Just the pressure of the weight of his hand sent new shockwaves of pain through him. His breathing was a little easier though. He would heal. He decided just to remain where he was. He thought about LaCroix. He was lost to LaCroix and LaCroix knew that. He would not return to him. He would not run from him either. What ever happened to him now would happen here. As long as she was here. He may yet die. LaCroix may kill him. The Enforcers might. He was the only reason that she was still alive. If he had not stopped LaCroix.... She was probably in danger still. Damn. And whose fault is that? He remembered waking up in her morgue. The shock on her face. The absence of terror. Why couldn't she have been afraid of him? He had warned her. He had to warn her. But, secretly he had hoped she would have the courage she had since proved to have. She was extraordinary. In so many ways. He loved her. Nothing anyone could do would change that. Nat. He closed his eyes, the fatigue overcame him then. He slept. She sat on her bed and stared out the window at the stars. They seemed much closer here than in the city. Close enough to reach out and touch. What mysteries do they hold, she wondered. What mystery? Vampires. She shook her head. How could such a thing be. Beings capable of such evil. One of them filled with such good. She thought of him then. She didn't shy away from it this time. She needed to know how she really felt. She loved him. He frightened her. Not because he was a vampire though. He frightened her because of the strength of the emotions he stirred in her. Nick. What was he? A vampire with human tendencies? A human with vampire tendencies? Both? Neither? He was so complicated. He had told her so much. But, she suspected the worst was withheld. He probably feared the rejection. Wouldn't she if she were him? Rejection hurts. She knew all too well. She had been hurt. It was her own fault, she knew. It was her own expectations. She had wanted him to love her. Desperately. When he had told her that he cared her heart leaped in anticipation. He didn't want to get in the way of her happiness. He was glad she was seeing someone. Someone else. That had hurt her more than she was willing to admit. She didn't want to see anyone else. He had never asked her what she wanted. She had never told him either. He had refused to bring her over. They had thought the world was coming to an end. Well, she had thought that. He had been the eternal optimist through the whole thing. The only one now that she reflected on it. And he had refused to bring her across. That had hurt her in a way she still couldn't quite define. If the end of the world isn't a good enough reason for them to be together, was there reason? What would it be? Perhaps there wasn't one. The thought scared her. She had wondered what it would be like to be a vampire. The scientist in her couldn't help but wonder. But, his torment frightened her. He struggled so. He had succeeded in becoming one of the most caring and compassionate beings she had ever known. Perhaps she lacked that capacity. She didn't know. If he would have brought her across, would she be able to overcome the darkness as he had? To love life as he did? To revere humanity? She had no way of knowing. She had judged him unfairly for his refusal. She knew she had. He was protecting her. It was in his nature. He was a knight after all. Chivalry is not dead, she mused. He dreamed of her. He saw her standing in the light before him. Her hair looked as if it were made of fire. The joy in her face seemed to drive the darkness from his soul. He would be content to stand and gaze at her for the rest of eternity. She raised her hand and beaconed for him to go to her. He took a step and realized that a chasm existed between he and her. He tried to take to the air but was unable to fly. She continued to call for him to come to her. He looked around but could find no way across. It wasn't until he looked around him that he noticed the darkness that engulfed him. She began to walk towards him. She walked on the very air. He shouted to her to stay away. He did not want her to step out of the light into his darkness. He wanted to step into her light. She didn't heed him and kept coming. No. NO! Nat. Please stay away from me. You belong in the light.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 10: The Fifth Morning) By Carrie Krumtum He awoke with a start. The pain in his chest was barely noticeable now. He could tell the sun had risen. What day is it? He didn't know. Nat. He shook his head to clear the images he had dreamt from it. He rose and grabbed the remote. As he did he glanced around the loft. The scene of the battle. What a mess. He shook his head again. I think I'll send LaCroix the bill. He got a bottle out of the refrigerator before sitting down on the sofa again. He needed to know what day it was. He turned on the television. He needed a dose of reality.... She was crying again. Damn. Her emotions boiled within her. She could not keep them pent up any longer. The love she felt for him overwhelmed her. Her need for him was so great. All night she had battled her feelings. Her insecurities. Her desires. Her needs. Her dreams. They buffeted her. She wanted love. She loved him. He loved her. HE loved her. She knew that he did. All the little inconsistencies, ironies, arguments aside. She KNEW that he did. He had proven it to her over and over again. He had tried her prescriptions. Not with perfect grace always, but he tried. He had saved her life, how many times? He had stood at her side in silence when she needed him near. He had given her space when she had asked. He had warned her not to get too close. He had apologized for his mistakes. He had brought Richard over at her request. He had sheltered her from her own stupidity. He had held her when she needed to be held. He had known they were special together, even without his memory intact. He had done all the things someone does when they love another. And more. Was that what frightens you? HE loves you this much and you are afraid you can't return in kind? She had made mistakes. He hadn't cornered the market on regret or guilt. She had let him down and hurt him when he needed her. Hell, she had nearly killed him, or made a junky out of him. She had failed to trust him when he was right. And he would never fault her for it. Damn you Nick. Can't you see, your not the only one with doubts? I know you think I deserve better than you. No I don't. Damn. Damn humanity. All of the problems, non of the answers. There really are no answers, are there? Just calculated risks. Best estimates. Guesses. Prayers. She loved him. No matter how she played out the scenario in her mind it always boiled down to that. How much did she love him? Enough to take the risks she knew she would have to take? He loved her that much. He would take the risks to live in her world. Could she do the same? She loved him. The emotion buried her under it's weight. She let it wash over her. She was crying. He turned the television off. He had lost a day. He felt like a century of bad karma and needed a shower. The loft would have to wait. He stood under the lukewarm water. His skin was so pale. He had finished the whole bottle, but he was still hungry. Injury always did this to him. He wished Nat was there to give him one of her shakes. Even as he thought it he made a face at how he knew it would taste. But, it would make him feel better. He thought about Nat then. With the water running down his skin. He closed his eyes. He could see her face, her neck, the curve of her shoulders. The flush of her skin. He could remember feeling the warmth of her against him. He sighed. He wanted to be with her. Every cell of his body needed her. The risk was just too great. He would kill her. He would never be able to control it. The vampire. The curse. He leaned his head against the wall of the shower. Oh God. I need you Nat. I love you. Come back. He had dressed and set about cleaning up the loft. Twice in a week Nick ol' boy. Your setting new records. He began looking for the brush. He remembered it skidding across the floor to...he followed the vision to the wall where the brush lay. He picked it up and ran his fingers through the bristles. He hadn't painted since...since Schanke was killed. He had tried a few times. He always wound up staring at empty canvas. He tapped his chin with the brush. He would paint today. He would paint.... She had said her apologies for missing breakfast. Emma was concerned that she was not resting well. Of course, love does that to young people. She remembered what it was like for her. Natalie would be okay. She was dealing with her feelings. They were so plainly written on her face. She probably would have been horrified to know that. Emma wouldn't tell her. Natalie walked back down to the lake. There was something about this place that make her feel better. Thelma had told her that the Indians believed this place was a place of magic. She could believe that. It's incredible beauty seemed other worldly to her. Her world was so stark. Death and night can do that to a life. Yes, that was it. That was what bothered him so much. His life was stark. Death and night. She could bring her life to his. If he would let her. She wanted to. What ever the restrictions. To be with him. She knew now that there would never be another love for her. Not like this. This all consuming storm that raged in her. It made her afraid and yet, more alive. She would never be the same. She could never go back. He had invaded her existence. Pure and simple. She would give up another life, she knew. A normal life. But. Her life wasn't normal anymore. It hadn't been for years. She would give up everything for him. If he needed that. She knew he would argue with her. He needed her. He didn't like the sacrifices that meant. But it wasn't his decision to make. It was hers. And she would make it. If there was a way to make him human again, they would find it. What ever it took. She could accept no less from herself. She loved him. For her, that was enough. And marriage? Children? Well, there was still a lot of life to be lived yet. They would cross those bridges as they came to them. She wanted to go back today, but, she was so tired. She knew she needed rest. Today she would rest. Tomorrow she would see him again. She should call.... He had finished the base coat. The exertion of the past several days had taken their toll. His fatigue overcame him and he went up to his bed to sleep. He slept a deep healing sleep then. And as he slept the phone rang.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 11: The Fifth Evening) By Carrie Krumtum She heard his message, "Hi, Nick Knight. I'm not at home or asleep. Leave a message, don't take it personal." She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't think of anything to say. She hung up. He probably was asleep. It was only four in the evening. This was the second time today she had called. He probably wouldn't be up for a couple of hours. She didn't want him to hear a message. She wanted him to hear her. He heard the phone ring. It had wakened him. He sat up in anticipation. The message played. There was a pause. Whoever it was hung up. Damn. He had wanted it to be her. He decided to get up then. He wanted to get back to the painting. He knew what he wanted to paint. The image was so clear. It hadn't been like this for him in a long time. He changed and went down stairs. He poured himself a glass and stood in front of the canvas. He closed his eyes and the image became crystal clear. Now, if he could only translate that to the canvas. He set the glass down and picked up the brush. If he could only translate the image clearly... She packed everything but what she needed to prepare in the morning. She had told Thelma she would be leaving first thing tomorrow. Thelma was very gracious and offered her any help she may require. Natalie would remember this place. She would return. Maybe even with him. Emma was right. This was a place to think, to heal. She would have to remember to thank Emma. God, she thought, you sure helped me out on this one. Emma had been just the right person at the right time. Just then a thought hit her. I wonder if Thelma has.... She went to find Thelma. He had been working for four hours before stepping back. It was beginning to take shape. The colors where right. Yes, this was it. He had a lot of work left, but, this felt right. He liked it when it worked liked this. It had been a long time. As he took a drink from his glass he felt him. He did not know how long he had been there. He turned to see LaCroix sitting in the chair by the fireplace. "Nicholas. So glad to see you quite well." He had that mocking smile on his face. "What do you want LaCroix?" The anger of their last encounter was absent. The resolve was not. "I see by your work that you remain committed to this pitiful sham you call a life. Will you never learn Nicholas?" LaCroix rose from his chair. As he did so he noted Nicholas tense. He laughed. "I live the life I have chosen." He was. He knew how his kind felt about his choice. Janette had said it long ago. 'These lives we make for ourselves are playthings. Mortals age and we outgrow them. Eventually we must move on.' He had replied, 'And what if we take these lives seriously?' She contended, 'Then we get hurt Nichola. You know that. We get hurt.' "You will only end up getting hurt Nicholas. One way or another." He advance a step towards him. This time Nicholas did not move a muscle. His resolve had steeled him. "You may hurt me if you wish. I will not change for you. I am not who you think me to be anymore." His voice held no malice, no venom. It was even and matter-of-fact. LaCroix thought that he preferred the venom. This kinder, gentler Nicholas was more than a little annoying. "I do not WISH to hurt you Nicholas. I am at a loss to understand this fascination with these pathetic mortals you have. As I've said before, where's the lasting value Nicholas. Blink and they'll be ghosts. Blink and they'll be gone." He took another step towards Nicholas as he spoke. Nick took a step toward LaCroix. He was rewarded with a slight look of surprise on his face. A very slight look of surprise. "You could never understand. I will not attempt to explain it to you." He wouldn't even try. This struggle was centuries old. All the lies. The deceits. The tricks. The traps. They would end here. He took another step toward LaCroix. He stood directly in front of him then. His gaze never wavered. He would not strike. He let LaCroix decide what would happen next. So, he thought, this is the point of his resolve. To end the struggle. He looked at Nicholas with renewed interest. This new type of defiance was refreshing. But, only slightly less annoying than the brashness it had replaced. "You needn't waste your breath. Your thoughts are irrelevant in the matter. This life you are living will come to an end. As do all of these fictions. I am patient. You will see that I am right in this Nicholas. And when you do, I will be waiting." Then he was gone. "This is not over as you suppose Nicholas," Nick heard LaCroix as he flew from his loft, "it will not be over until I have what is mine. You are mine." No LaCroix. I am hers. There can be no eternity without her. This is the last life I will choose to live. His resolve was complete. This life would be the last he shared with humanity. It would end in mortality or it would end. Pure and simple. She prepared her surprise carefully. When she was done she went to bed. She needed to sleep. She had said her thank yous at dinner. Emma could tell that Natalie had made her decisions. She felt that there was peace within her. She smiled to herself. Yes, Natalie had reminded her of herself. Emma had decided to defy her father and marry young. She never regretted that decision. She had been rewarded with over sixty years of marriage. Happy years. She wished Natalie the same fate. Happiness. Nick worked well into the night on the painting. He would not stop until he had completed it. He felt strangely liberated by his resolve. His decision. As he painted he debated whether or not he should tell her. He didn't know. He painted. All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 12: The Sixth Morning) By Carrie Krumtum Emma woke and thought she heard a car driving away. That would be Natalie. She got out of bed and put on her robe. She would take a shower to begin her day. As she opened the door to her room a package fell forward onto the threshold. It was wrapped in silver wrapping paper with a gift card attached. She picked the package up and read the card. Emma, Thank you for your sensitive ear, kind words and heart born wisdom. You were a gift to me when I needed one. I wish you continued happiness and health. I hope I see you again. Natalie She opened the gift and found an empty journal. One small sentence on the first page stated it's purpose: 'There is wisdom in your rememberings...' Emma smiled. Yes, she really did like Natalie. He sat on the floor in front of the picture. He had been sitting there since he had finished. The sun was up and he would have to close the blinds. He didn't want to take his eyes off the image. It was perfect. Perfect. What was he going to do with it? Give it to her? Keep it? His first inclination was to keep it. It stirred such emotion in him. The image had stirred such emotion in him that he had to reproduce it. Maybe she'll like it. Maybe. He sighed as he rose. Where are you? Are you coming back? Will you even want me to be a part of your life anymore? He watched the rays of sunlight being extinguished as the blinds fell into place. He thought of a life without her. He shook his head. A life without her? That would be no life at all. An end. Nat. Please come back. I'm not ready for it all to end.... She had left at the first hint of dawn. She wanted to try and be home by dusk. To spend as much time with him as she could. She needed to spent time with him. They needed to talk. There was so much she wanted to tell him. She understood so much more now. Getting beyond the fear had been necessary. The shear weight of her emotion had been overwhelming. Once she had allowed herself to ride out the storm she had been able to reason. To make her decisions. Her life wasn't what she had thought it would be. It had changed in so many ways. Terrible, wonderful ways. It would change again, perhaps. He would gain back his mortality. Or? She would let the future take care of itself. It would only be a guess anyway. Now. Now was what was important. In the here and now she loved him, needed him. Would do anything to be with him, however they could be together. She had made her decisions. They were hers to make, after all. Chivalry is one thing Nick, overprotectiveness is quite another, she thought. I know you want to protect me. But, I don't want to be protected anymore. The risks are real, but, they are mine to take. When it becomes necessary, I'll take them. Better get used to the idea. He went to bed with the image on his mind. His emotions seemed to pound in his heart like the surf pounding the shore. His need for her was so great. The empty loft was filled with such a loud silence. He closed his eyes. The darkness of his mind was invaded with the image he had painted. There must be a way back. A way to step into that light again. There must be. He had explored every legend, every lead, every possibility he had found for centuries. He had made friends and enemies alike with his quest. The world was not so big. He had been to the very corners of it searching. Fate had led him here. Maybe not fate. But, something, someone had led him here. God? Benevolence of vampires? It must be benevolence. Else why bring Nat into his life? She was a gift. A rare gift. Their relationship was so different from the others. His other lives. Other loves. Alyssa. Janette. They had been real. He had needed them. But, not like this. He tried to define the difference. This current life of his. There had been so many others before. He had been so many people before. Doctor, archeologist, soldier, teacher. Cop. Yes he had done that before as well. But, now. This life. It was more real than anything before had been. He had tried to tell Janette. This was not a plaything. It was as serious to him as her vampirism was to her. This life was...right, somehow. It touched a cord in him. It defined him in ways he had not known himself before. If he had been born in this time, he would have been born in this place. To be in this life. To be with her. Even without the need to be mortal again. Love like theirs must be that way. Meant to be from the beginning. This was his reality. His belief. He thought about her then. What did she believe? He didn't know. A week ago he would have taken a guess. Now, he wasn't sure. He hoped. A hope to end all hopes. And it ached inside. He would not hurt her again. He never wanted that. She should be happy. That joy should be hers. It must. He wanted to help her find it. To share it with her. He tried to sleep. Nat. Wherever you are, I hope you are finding what you want. What you need. He saw her again, standing in the light. The joy of life on her face. He smiled. This was perfection. An image worthy of eternity. An eternity of light.... All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie This is a story based on characters created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen for the TV series Forever Knight. Vacations (Part 13: The Sixth Evening) By Carrie Krumtum She drove into the city. She briefly debated where to go first. Briefly. His loft. That was where her heart led her. As soon as she could get there.... He had showered and dressed. He noted the sunset as the blinds rose. He waited. The light faded slowly. As soon as the intensity of the light dropped to his tolerance he took off. He flew directly to her apartment. She pulled up behind the garage door. She hesitated at the door a moment. What would she say to him? Her hand reached toward the buzzer. It didn't matter. She would say what was in her heart. It would be honest. That's what was needed here anyway. Honesty. No more silence-to-protect-you crap. Honesty. She pushed the button.... He was there in short order. He entered this time. He would have to mention her forgetting to lock the window. It didn't matter that she didn't live on the ground floor. He walked through her apartment, slowly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This placed was filled with her. He didn't turn on the lights or touch anything. This wasn't a weird type of voyeurism. This was a close to her as he could get now. He needed to feel close to her. No answer. Maybe he was asleep. He could sleep like the dead sometimes. She smiled to herself and shook her head. You really do have a dark sense of humor. Good thing he likes it. She entered the security code and was rewarded with a green light on the alarm panel. She opened the door and reset the alarm before heading up the stairs. As she entered the loft she noted that the blinds were up. "Nick?" Her voice echoed in the expanse of the loft. "Nick? Are you here?" She took a few more steps into the loft looking around. She moved in front of the painting and stopped where she was when she saw it. Her jaw dropped open and she placed her hand to her heart. Nick! He just stood. In the middle of her room. He let his new image of her fill his mind. He imagined the joy in this place. Filling it from wall to wall, floor to ceiling, and beyond. Her joy. He smiled.... She couldn't take her eyes off of it. Was this how he saw her? This image? So full of light and...what was it? Joy? Yes. Joy. Her heart was pounding. It was so beautiful. Unbidden tears came to her eyes. This was how he loved her. Like this. This was what he wished for her. Nick! He felt a tug on his heart then. He should go. He was the intruder here. He wanted to be with her. Now. To share his hope with her. It would be two days before she returned to work. Two days.... He took to the air again. And went home. She remained transfixed. She took a few short steps towards the painting. She wanted to touch it. To be sure it was real. She reached her hand towards it tentatively. She was afraid. She felt that if she touched it it would shatter. He arrived without sound on the second floor of the loft. He had seen her car and knew she was within. He stood silently, watching her. She was reaching towards the painting. The look of awe on her face made his heart leap. She was there, right in front of him. She was there. Her hand neared the surface of the painting. "Don't." He told her. She jumped back looking up at him. The look of awe replaced by surprise. "Nick...?" "The paint hasn't dried yet." His voice was filled with softness. She returned her gaze to the painting. "It's...beautiful." He walked to the head of the stairs. He watched as the tears fell down her face. He stopped. He wanted to take her in his arms, to hold her. But, he didn't know if she wanted that. He didn't know. She looked up at him then. His presence surrounded her. Her need for him was so strong. Their eyes met and he saw her need there. He went to her then. In a heartbeats breadth he was with her. He took her in his arms, gently. She let him hold her. Her tears dampened his shoulder. They were together... They stood there. Embracing one another. No sound but the beating of their own hearts. Her tears had not stopped. She could not make them stop. He felt as if his heart would burst. The days of aching and longing ended. She was there, in his arms. She had come to him. For him. Thank you God. Thank you for bringing her back to me! He waited until she had stopped crying before releasing her. He looked into her face and found her tenderness there. A tenderness he wanted to hold forever. He brushed the tears remaining on her cheeks away with the back of his hands. The soft dampness of her skin sent thrills through him. He smiled at her. The love in his eyes was like the power of the sun. If filled her with a strange sense of belonging. He belonged to her. And she to him. Everything happens for a reason.... His touch was so gentle. She reached up to touch his face. She placed her fingers to the side of his face and traced the line of his jaw. He was so beautiful. So handsome. He kissed her. With tenderness and gentleness. He felt her tremble slightly and embraced her again. He felt his desire rise in him. The vampire. He didn't shy away from it. He held it there. On the edge of desire. In tight control. When their lips parted she looked into the blue of his eyes. Not gold, she noted. Blue. So blue. She opened her mouth as if to speak. He placed his fingers to her lips and shook his head. It was a plea. Not yet. Let this moment last a little longer. She did. She laid her head to his chest and leaned into him. His arms enfolded her. She closed her eyes and rested in his embrace. The smell of her blood filled him. He noted the passing of each heartbeat. Of each breath she took. The fragrance of her hair, the warmth of her body against his, the gentle expansion of her breast as she breathed. It was all intoxicating. He held her tighter. She felt her feet leave the floor as they rose. She wasn't afraid. She let him lift her. She was so light. So fragile it seemed. He carried her up with him. He slowly began to spin in mid air. It was what his heart felt like. Lighter than air and dancing. As he held her to him he sensed her trust. Her understanding. Slowly they descended towards the sofa. He shifted her weight enough to have her come to rest at his side when they reached it. She laughed a little and nestled down next to him. He hit the button on the remote and lit the fireplace. He continued to hold her. They looked into the fire together. They needed to talk, he knew. But, not now. Now he just wanted to be with her. She could sense he was not ready to talk. His need to just be with her. She smiled. She needed him as well. This was what she wanted. To be with him. To be here, now, was her decision. They both had another whole day of vacation coming. There was plenty of time to talk. Right now she would just be with him. Thank God for fate.... End All comments and virtual chocolate to Carrie, Newbie Knightie