Date:         Mon, 29 Mar 1999 21:36:04 -0700 
From: KYER <KYER@PRODIGY.NET> 
Subject:      The Valentine Spat (1/1) 
To: FKFIC-L@lists.psu.edu 

This can be archived at Mel's fkfanfic.com site.
Now I've got to apologize to fans of Eugene Field's 'The Duel'.
Not to mention playing Rushdie to the outraged Valentine Faction members!
<Theme music from The Fugitive>
(Ahem.)
None of these characters are mine.  All damage will undoubtedly be repaired
by the time someone else posts their fanfic.
Hissy fits can be directed to:  kyer@prodigy.net

Situation?  in the original a calico cat and a gingham dog fought because..

well, because they're a cat and a dog.
In MY twisted homage to the Valentine scenario:   LaCroix, Natalie,
Nicholas
and Janette are all stuck in the Loft together when  LaCroix belatedly
realizes what his newest fledgling choice of beverage is....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE VALENTINE SPAT (1/1)
by Kyer en Ysh on March 29, 1999

The Old Pompeiian and the Coroner, Nat
Side by side on the loveseat sat;
'Twas half-past noon, (and what do you think!)
Nor one nor t' other had slept a wink!
        The Old Crusader and the Fashion Plate
        Appeared to know as sure as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat.

        (I wasn't there; I simply state
        What was told to me the the Fashion Plate!)

The Roman 'Croix went "What's this now!!"
And the Coroner Nat replied "Its cow!"
The air was littered , an hour or so,
with bits of cork and stethesco--,
        While the Old Crusader at the chimney-place
        Up with his hands before his face,
For he always dreaded a family row!"

        (Never mind:  I'm only telling you
        What the Old Crusader declares is true!)

The Fashion Plate looked full of rue,
And wailed, "Oh, dear! what shall we do!"
But the Old Pompeiian and the Coroner, Nat
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
        Employing every fang and claw
        In the awfullest way you ever saw--
And, oh! how the bloodwine and language flew!

        (Don't fancy I exaggerate--
        I got my news from the Fashion Plate!)

Next morning where the two had sat
They found no trace of 'Croix or Nat;
And some vamps think unto this day
That Enforcers took that pair away!
        But the truth about LaCroix and Yupp'
        Is this:  they burned each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!

        (The Old Crusader he told me so,
        And that is how I came to know.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyer, Loyal Squire(ette) to the Knight deBrabant;
Knight de Soir; obviously not a Valentine.

AAAAAAAAAAHH!!  IT WAS THE ONE ARMED MAN!
HE WROTE IT!  I SWEAR!  Now, PUT DOWN THAT STAKE!