Date: Mon, 11 Nov 1996 10:42:45 -0800 Poster: Cat MacLean Subject: The Voice of the Raven (01/6) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE VOICE OF THE RAVEN (1/6) Disclaimer: The standard disclaimers apply with regard to Nick and Company who obviously don't belong to me, but to TPTB. Catherine, however, is mine. Also, thanks and disclaimers to Fred Mollin for his inspirational music (love it, love it). I don't know that this whole story isn't a bit of a song challenge. Author's note: Being a firm believer in the power of imagination and living by the credo (most of the time) that a little inuendo goes a long way, I would rate this story no more than PG (I've seen much worse during prime time). Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. BTW, it comes in sequence after my story "Can't Forget You", which is available on the ftp site, but will stand alone, so it is not imperative that you read that one. Please be kind with comments, fragile ego at work...Thanks ever so... THE VOICE OF THE RAVEN "Why are you taking me to the Raven of all places, Nick? I thought you said 'don't go there, Nat. It could be dangerous for you. _Bad_ things might happen?' There was more than a hint of sarcasm and bitterness in her tone. Try as she might, Natalie couldn't contain it. She was still on the outside, trying to get it. "There's something I think you should see, Nat." Nick wasn't buying into her mood; he ignored her harsh inflection competely. He had done some serious thinking about this evening. He only hoped he hadn't misjudged Natalie's feelings and made a huge mistake. "Really? What? Blood for a Buck night? Janette running a kissing booth in the back? I know, LaCroix reliving his disco era." Her mouth was just getting the better of her tonight. Suddenly, there were two not so gentle hands on her shoulders and two not so understanding blue/gold eyes boring into hers. "Look, Natalie. You've asked me more than once to bring you across, into my world. I think you should take a good, hard look at that world before you make any more rash decisions." Natalie had frightened him badly in the recent past with her attempt to come across without him. Of course, her actions had been prompted by his own mysterious disappearance into thin air. Damn LaCroix again and again; it was due to his interference that Natalie thought he had deserted her. The Tribunal had given Nick an ultimatum regarding Natalie. See her die or bring her across. When the sentence had been pronounced, Nick had been confident that he would make his own decision; he convinced himself that he didn't particularly give a damn what the Tribunal had decreed. And then he had come home to find Natalie dying; and he was responsible. Nick had been forced by his own conscience to admit that Natalie may be right. It wasn't only his decision to make. The very thought of Natalie becoming a vampire terrified him. Not only because he feared that he would never be able to bring her across successfully, but that once across she would hate her life and him for bringing her to it. He feared losing her more than he feared facing his own eternal darkness. "That's right, you get to make all the decisions in this relationship, don't you, Nick?" Her voice was full of unfulfilled desires. She refused to flinch in his rough grip and let him know how much he hurt her, both physically and emotionally. "After that last little stunt you pulled, maybe I should." Nick released his tense grip and self-consciously rubbed away the ache in her arms. He took a deep breath and went on, "What I've decided is to let you in. All the way, Nat. No more secrets, no allusions, no hiding what I am. No hiding what you would become...if you became a vampire." He purposely loaded the final word with all the self loathing that floated ever close to the surface of his self esteem. "Ask me anything you want, Nat. I'll tell you the truth." "Why, Nick? Why offer to tell me the truth now? Haven't you been honest with me all this time?" "There's honesty and then there's blatant, ugly reality, Nat. I don't feel like I have much choice anymore. You nearly killed yourself, you know." The memories of her dying in the hospital and he being helpless to save her lent anger to his voice. "And I nearly made it across, too." The unspoken words 'without your help' hung between them. "No, Natalie, it wouldn't have worked. This is what I mean by complete honesty; you were going to die. If it hadn't been for LaCroix you _would_ have died. There was never any possibility of my blood bringing you across; it's been tried before...a long time ago. How do you think I felt, sitting by you, day after day, watching you slip away from me and knowing that it was my fault and that there was absolutely nothing, nothing I could do about it? Yes, this time it _was_ my fault. The only thing that keeps me alive, if you want to call it that, is deadly to you. There is no inbetween, no room for second guessing, second chances." Nick snorted in self derision. "It was a true life altering experience, wasn't it? So, what I'm saying is, if you ever do come across _and_ I'm telling you again I would take a lot of convincing to be a willing party to it, you'll need all the help you can get. You'll need one of us then, Nat, no matter how much you try to be independent." Natalie looked up into his eyes with shock written plainly upon her face. "I was so sure it would work...I didn't feel like I had a choice either, Nick. I did what I had to do." "I know, Nat. I'm sorry, I dont mean to be cruel. This isn't easy for me, either. Forgive me?" "Of course I do. I just don't want to get into that argument again." Natalie took a firm grip on her emotions and resolved to be more receptive. After all, this was a step in the right direction, wasn't it? Nick had never voluntarily taken her to the Raven before tonight. "All I'm asking is that you give yourself time to consider what you'd be getting into. Six months, a year, maybe two. Maybe when you've learned all there is to know, all the dark, sordid realities of my life and who I really am, who I've been, what I've done, you'll have an entirely different perspective on coming across. I know you think I'm being overprotective. But it really isn't..." "That simple, I know." Natalie smiled up at him. "Truce?" She found it so easy to forgive him, even when she didn't want to give in so quickly. "Truce. Let's go. The party may have already started without us." He was thankful that Natalie seemed to see a bit of reason. Maybe his plan would work, after all. She linked her arm through his and stepped up her pace to match his stride. "What kind of party is this anyway, Nick? Please tell me I was wrong about the disco." Natalie made an concerted attempt to lighten the situation. Nick looked down at the woman at his side and felt his heart contract in his chest. He wished that he could keep her near him always, where he could protect her. She desperately needed his protection, even if she didn't know it or want it. Nick felt that time was progressing too quickly, leaving him standing still, watching a horror unfold. He was watching someone he loved play russian roulette with a loaded gun. He only hoped that if Natalie was as enamoured of coming across as he thought she was, the stark realities of tonight would repel her into backing off and thinking about taking anymore foolish chances. But, would she feel repelled by him as well? It was a chance he had to take, to keep her safe. Natalie had certainly dressed for the occasion. Low neckline, high hemline, black of course. And those shoes she wore to make up for what she considered a lack of stature. He might have warned her ahead of time to go easy on the perfume. Her own scent of roses was going to be quite enough to attract attention in this crowd. "Nick, I asked you what kind of party this is? Belatedly, he realized that he'd been staring down at her, not answering. "It's like nothing you've ever seen before, Nat. Just please tell me that you'll be careful." "Careful? What for?" "I won't go into the details, Nat. I don't want you to go in with any preconceived opinions. But, I need you to promise me that you'll stay with me." He hoped she wasn't going to tell him off for trying to make her behave as a modest female should. That wasn't what he intended at all. Natalie could tell he wasn't mocking her now, he was deadly serious. "Alright, Nick, I promise. You'll be with me, every minute, right?" Didn't he know, all she wanted to do was stay with him? She loved him, parcel and package, good and evil, vampire or mortal. She shivered in spite of herself and it wasn't the cool evening. "You'll be safe...as long as you stay with me." to be continued...comments to: -- Cat MacLean **N&N Packer with Shades of Grey** **Closet Vaquera/2nd Cousin Once Removed** **One of the Proud, the Few FK Fans in San Diego** Date: Tue, 12 Nov 1996 11:01:58 -0800 Poster: Cat MacLean Subject: The Voice of the Raven (02/6) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- VOICE OF THE RAVEN (2/6) (see disclaimers and notes in part 1) And then they were there. The Raven, the black hole of vampirism, that dark den where unnatural desires were fullfilled and flaunted. As least that's how she thought of the place. Actually, it was a rather smallish, dark and depressing club that could have used an industrial strength cleaning. A polished wooden bar ran the length of the back wall; light reflected from dozens of glasses dangling in racks above. To the left of the bar was a huge plate glass mirror. Natalie knew that was the one-way window to LaCroix's broadcasting booth. LaCroix, voice of the subconscious of the undead, voyeur of the night. The music asaulted Natalie's ears, pounded into her brain, heavy metal erotica pulsing with an almost human heartbeat. Nick held his hand firmly under her elbow as they traversed the crowded dance floor. Natalie was immediately glad for his protection. The place already seemed dangerous and she'd been there for a grand total of five minutes. The seas parted for LaCroix's son and guest; hungry and curious eyes followed them as they crossed to the bar. There were supposed to be only five tonight for the crossing. Was there a special surprise planned? Anticipation rose. Natalie slipped onto a barstool as gracefully as she could in her tight skirt. The fact that even in four inch heels her feet didn't touch the floor wasn't helping her dignity. Nick stood between the barstools, casually, yet protectively and looked out into the crowd. The bartender placed two glasses in front of Natalie and began to pour the house reserve. 'White wine, please." Natalie placed her hand over the other glass and swallowed as her voice came out higher than she realized. Nick turned and gave the bartender what Natalie fondly thought of as 'one of those looks' and a full bottle of chablis magically appeared from under the bar. "Each to their own, I always say," he commented as he decanted the pale liquid. Natalie raised her glass and then gripped the stem of her glass convulsively as she felt cool breath in her hair and even cooler lips whispering in her ear. "Nice to see you two." Javier Vachon slipped onto the stool next to her and raised his own glass in salute. The dark liquid sloshed in the glass and began to run down the side. Absently, Vachon licked the rivulet and leaned back against the bar. Nick was giving Vachon another one of 'those looks'. Vachon looked properly chastised. "Sorry, forgot my manners. It's just different tonight. You know, no mortals..." His voice trailed off. "You mean everyone in here tonight is...a...?" Natalie looked around her quickly as if she might see something that shouldn't be acknowledged. "It's OK, Natalie. You can say the "V" word in here." Vachon smiled teasingly. Natalie's glare would have reduced a mere mortal to an apologetic heap. Not so our intrepid Spaniard. "You know what I mean. Am I the only mortal in the entire place?" If she was, no wonder she was beginning to feel like a shrimp roll on the buffet table of life. "Not the only one. There are a few others. See if you can tell who. I hear you have pretty good 'vadar'." Vachon's attempt at humor was falling somewhat short of his goal. Natalie took in the scene laid out before her. There were vampires to the left, vampires to the right, vampires all around her. And, oh yes, a few souls who didn't look quite as nervous as she did, but came close. There was something anticipatory about the five mortals she could positively identify. There was definitely something big in the works. "So, Knight, what changed your mind?" "About what?" Nick wasn't really paying attention to Vachon, he was looking for someone in the crowd. "Natalie, of course." Vachon signalled for another round. "What Natalie, of course?" Natalie faced Javier and lowered her voice. If Nick was distracted, maybe Vachon would be more forthcoming. "You know, the 'coming across' party." Vachon gestured to include the entire room. "Our version of the prom." He tipped the glass back, drained it and poured another. "Vachon..." Another one of 'the looks' from Nick. "It's not what you think, Nat. Alright, it is what you think." "Is that what all this is?" Suddenly, hope rose in Natalie's heart. But then fell again just as quickly. Nick had told her already once that night that he would need convincing to bring her across. Frankly, she was tired of hearing him say it. "Yes, that's what this is, Nat. And no, not for you." Not yet, and not ever if I can convince her, he thought fervently to himself. "Why not?" This was too much. Natatlie couldn't keep the dissapointment from her voice. "Yeah, why not?" echoed Vachon. "Perfect night for it." He looked Natalie up and down with a slight leer. "She's all dressed up and no where to go." "Look, Vachon, I brought Natalie here to see what life on this side is really like. I don't appreciate your romanticizing things, if you don't mind." Nick's eyes were starting to turn yellow at the edges. In a room full of vampires and wannabes he didn't bother to control it, either. "Ok, ok, don't get excited. Just stating an opinion, OK?" Vachon took this opportunity to refill his glass one more time. Before Natalie could ruffle her feathers at being left out of this conversation completely, Nick laid a hand on her arm. "I want you to just watch, Nat. Try to see things without rose colored glasses. This life isn't what you think it is, Nat. It can be so...ugly." This last was said in a whisper. Natalie snapped her mouth shut on the six nasty things she had to say to both of them. "All right, Nick. I'll do it your way...tonight." "Ah, Nicholas and the charming Dr. Lambert." LaCroix was making the rounds as host. He lifted Natalie's hand as if to kiss it and tsked as she abruptly withdrew it from his grasp. "Not happy to see me again, Dr. Lambert? A pity...after all I did to help out in that unfortunate affair..." Natalie realized that LaCroix reminded her of nothing more than a reptile, hissing included. Still, she should try to be graceful and grateful. LaCroix's intervention had helped save her life when she lay dying in the hospital. "Thank you for that, LaCroix. I do owe you my gratitude." She tried to smile at him and was immediately sorry she had when he smiled his feral smile back at her. Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 09:11:42 -0800 Poster: Cat MacLean Subject: The Voice of the Raven (03/6) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- VOICE OF THE RAVEN (3/6) (see disclaimers and notes in part 1) "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Lucien LaCroix, your humble host. Welcome to the Raven on this night of nights!" Polite applause from the crowd echoed eerily off the high ceiling of the room. LaCroix continued, "Tonight we gather in celebration. A celebration of Life, a taunting of Death. We expand our community, we are born anew. The chosen will now step forward!" Five nervous mortals, three women and two men, slowly entered the circle of LaCroix's spotlight, casting wary glances around them. Their attention was riveted upon LaCroix, they were held in thrall by his voice. "You choose this life of your own volition and swear to obey your chosen master and the rules of this community? How say you?" Five voices responded, in varying degrees of confidence, "I swear." "Very well." LaCroix passed each candidate as if in inspection, looking into their eyes, their souls. He stopped before the first woman and raising her chin to force her to look at him, demanded, "Who is your master?" The blonde before LaCroix stammered and then summoned her courage and gave a name. LaCroix proceded slowly down the line of mortals, probing their thoughts, asking and receiving information. When all five were standing before their masters-to-be, LaCroix turned to the now restless crowd. He held up his hand and his voice rang out in the sudden silence, "These mortals come before us to join us. They have sworn to uphold the laws of the community. Shall they be one with us? How say you all?!" A ragged cheer of assent rose from the assembled vampires. At the bar, Natalie was alternately fascinated and repulsed by the events on the floor. Vachon was pounding the bar with his fist in excitement, his eyes glowing. Nick stood unmoving next to her, unspeaking, hardly breathing. As she risked a glance at him, she saw that his eyes, too, were golden. Before Natalie could ask what would happen next, music filled the club. She'd forgotten the band on the stage. A pinspot of light illuminated a lone figure standing at the forefront of the platform. Catherine. The halo of suffused light made her hair a flaming wreath; her dark eyes seemed to glow with an inner passsion. "Nothing like a little musical accompaniment, to set the mood, eh, Knight?" Vachon was obviously reveling in the mood of the crowd; his fangs were extended and his words came quickly. Nick ignored him and bent down to whisper in Natalie's ear. "This is what life on this side can be, Nat. Pay close attention. Is this what you really want?" He didn't bother to hide the effect the events were having on him. His eyes flamed at her and his fangs were in full view as well. The answers were whirling in her head. Suddnely, Nick and Vachon seemed like strangers to her; she didn't know them anymore. They had been taken over by the beasts that always resided just under the facade of their existence. The events happening around her were so sensual, so inviting and alluring but at the same time so cold, calculated and cruel. If she had had to make the choice at this moment she would have been unable to. "Let the revels begin!!!" LaCroix stepped out of the spotlight and left the floor to the participants. The music wound it's way sinuously around the ten figures left standing in the center of the club. "My, God," Natalie breathed. "Are they going to do it right here in front of God and everybody?" "I hardly think your God would be interested in our little doings, my dear Natalie." Natalie nearly jumped off the barstool in terror. LaCroix was speaking right in her ear and she hadn't seen or heard him approach. "Nicholas, why don't you explain to your guest?" LaCroix glanced at Nick and was gratified and pleased to see him in all his power. Expecting no answer to his request and receiving none, LaCroix went on to explain to Natalie. "In answer to your question, my dear Natalie, yes, they are going to do it...as you so delicately phrased it, right here in front of God and everybody." LaCroix raised one eyebrow in amusement at the stunned look on Natalie's face. "Oh, don't get your sensibilities outraged. There are many different ways to bring one across. Some as simply more pleasurable and therefore more private than others. Observe..." Natalie couldn't have closed her eyes if she had wanted to. The five couples on the floor were in various positions of embrace moving sensuously together, encouraged by the sultry music. The words of the song slipped into the night and began to sink into Natalie's mind; *Close your eyes *And walk the endless night to sleep. *Know the lies *And no more promises to keep. *Light the light. *Follow closely as you lead. Natalie felt her body swaying slightly with the rhythym of Catherine's soothing voice. *It ends tonight. *It fills the emptiness and need. *You must give in - you must give in. *A game that you can't win, *The hunger. *The darkness aches *And tears away the strongest heart. *The music plays *The fire burns the soul apart. Five couples moved closer together as Catherine's voice rose and fell in caress of the lyric. As the first vampire took his mortal lover to him, the crowd errupted in whistles and catcalls. Natalie shook in her seat and clutched Nick's arm in a frantic grip. She could see, even in the dim lighting, the blood streaming from a gaping wound on the woman's neck. She could see the intense rapture on the conquering vampire's face. She could see it all. Another and then another conquest was made in the spotlight until all had come across. The audience was transfixed in surrogate passion as the scent of human blood filled the air. More than a few of the watching vampires took their own pleasure of each other, caught up in the moment, unable to restrain the impulses that drove them. *The fever breaks; *Cool rain is falling on our bed. *The time is come; *The hunger's longing to be fed. *You can't turn back - you can't turn back. *The night bleeds in black *The hunger. Natalie saw that clearly now. Natalie didn't know how much of this she could endure. It was her fantasy being acted out before her and she was not allowed to partake. She was more confused than ever. The flaming desire washing through her was nearly unbearable. Each breath was more difficult than the last, her eyes felt as if the images before her were burned there for eternity. If she closed her eyes now, she would still see the lovers before her. *You must give in - you must give in. *A game that you can't win...the hunger. The song was ending, slipping away into the night. Natalie could see that hunger etched so plainly on her companion's faces. Vachon giving in eagerly to that need, reveling in the power. Nick fighting the urges compelling him on. Natalie saw the forces at war as if for the first time, there on Nick's face. Startled, Natalie realized just what it was Nick had been trying to tell her tonight. This life didn't allow you to take control; _it_ took control of you. Natalie would herself become a part of what Nick loathed in his own self. She saw with clarity that she, herself, was part of what gave him hope to reclaim his soul from the darkness. Her inherent humanity was part of what inspired him to try every day of his life to change. She couldn't come across; she would betray Nick and all that he believed in to ask that of him again. Natalie sighed and brushed away a tear. She had a sudden sense of intense loss and sadness. Had she lost Nick anyway by her selfish demands to come across? Across into something she had to admit now that she did not understand. Still she ached to be with him. She only wanted to be with him... She didn't have any more answers now anymore than she had before. She had thought she would join his world if he couldn't join hers. But this was so much more than she had bargained for. The intensity overwhelmed her and she was lost in confusion. "Our new companions!" LaCroix was there again at the center of the dance floor, raising a glass of blood in a congratulatory toast to the new initiates. Again, cheers reverberated from the walls of the club as the vampire community celebrated its renewed life. They would survive. The newly made vampires melted into the crowd with their masters to attend to their first hunger as LaCroix once again spoke. "A special treat for us all tonight. Someone who has sorrowed with us in our misfortunes and celebrated with us in our triumphs, supported us in our struggles and urged us on to higher aspirations, someone who has been one with without taking that final step of being one _of_ us has made a choice. Our very own Catherine has consented to join us!" Foot stamping and deafening howls of approval greeted his announcement. On stage, Catherine swept a deep curtsy to her appreciative audience and blew a kiss to LaCroix. "Her beauty and talent will never be lost to us. She will be with us forever." There was actual tenderness in LaCroix's voice as he spoke, his eyes, with their faint golden glow, betraying his passion. "I give you now, the Voice of the Raven, our own, Catherine!" Dark music swept over the crowd again as she began again to sing. The words tore into Natalie's very soul as she sat, entranced as the rest of Catherine'e audience. The song spoke to her heart, said what she could not put into words. Catherine seemed to be singing her own passions and dark desires. *Take me to the edge of darkness, *Follow the moon to its hiding place. *There is magic in the silence *As I start my fall from grace. *There is no stairway to the light. *There is no answer, heaven knows. *Will there be music left to write? *In my fantasy...Black Rose. *Start the masquerade without me. *Take illusion and disguise. *When your only love's a stranger *You scorn the truth, you need the lies. Natalie felt icy hands smooth the tension from her shoulders and she leaned back into the cold touch, welcoming the chill. Her only love was still such a stranger. "It speaks to you, doesn't it, my dear Natalie?" Natalie's head snapped around. Nicks hands were firmly in his pockets, it was LaCroix who carressed her so casually with his touch and voice. "Don't try to answer, my dear." LaCroix touched one finger to her lips. "Your answer is plain upon your face." Before she could summon her voice to answer, Natalie's attention was riveted to the stage once more; she didn't notice or even care if LaCroix released her. *They say that good things come to those who wait *And I've waited for so long... *It's now or never and the hour's late. *I want this moment right or wrong! On stage, Catherine emphasized her words with enticing movements of her hands and body as she called her siren song to the crowd. One slender hand trailed down the creamy skin of her neck and lingered at her breast in invitation. At the bar, Natalie's breathing quickened. *There is no stairway to the light *There is no answer, heaven knows. *There is a flower of the night. *My only true love...Black Rose. As the song ended on an eerie, minor note the stage was sunk in sudden darkness. Thunderous applause shook the club from wall to wall and jolted Natalie back to herself. She felt herself blushing and wondered if anyone had noticed her internal turmoil. Probably not, she sighed, and a good thing, too. Firmly, she pushed the whirl of thought back into a dark corner of her mind to dissect later. "Exquisite, isn't she?" LaCroix's soft voice broke into all their thoughts. Nick and Vachon turned to look at him, noticing his presence for the first time. LaCroix slipped one of Natalie's curls around his finger as he spoke. Too surprised by his action to move, Natalie stared at him. "Why, my dear Natalie, look what you've done to our poor Nicholas. A shame, however, I do have an excellent tailor, if I may recommend. Now, if you'll excuse me, my dear..." He was gone again. Natalie's eyes widened as she looked down in horror at what she'd done to Nick's jacket sleeve. Her nails had ripped quite through the raw silk material as she'd clawed him. He hadn't even noticed, so caught up was he himself. "Nick, I...I...I'm sorry. I'm don't know what's come over me..." Natalie stammered to a stop, embarassed at what she'd done to him. "I do, Natalie," volunteered Vachon. His lips brushed her neck as he murmured, "You want this, don't you, Natatlie. I can tell." Natalie glared at him, shut up, Vachon. Nick chose not to hear Vachon's comments. "It's OK, Nat. It's OK. It's a lot to take in." Nick slipped a comforting arm around her. "This IS why I brought you here tonight. I want you to see...everything. There are things you have to know...if you ever, if we ever..." His voice was soothing and she relaxed into him, hoping he could protect her from her own emotions. Before he could continue, their attention was drawn to the stage once more as LaCroix stood again in the center of the floor and spoke. to be continued...comments to: -- Cat MacLean **N&N Packer with Shades of Grey** **Closet Vaquera/2nd Cousin Once Removed** **One of the Proud, the Few FK Fans in San Diego** VOICE OF THE RAVEN (4/6) (see disclaimers and notes in part 1) "The time has come, my dear Catherine, for you to join us. Who do you choose as your master?" Lewd suggestions flew across the floor as volunteers tried to outshout each other. At the bar, Vachon leaned across Natalie and punched Nick in the arm. "I sure as hell wouldn't mind, would you, Knight?" Nick silenced him with a look. "Well, 'I' wouldn't, anyway," Vachon asserted. LaCroix raised his hand for quiet. "How do you choose?" LaCroix was her obvious choice. His gaze compelled her to make him her choice, demanded it of her. However, Catherine was never one to do the expected. "I choose Nicholas de Brabant." The waiting crowd of vampires greeted this statement with stunned silence and then cheered uproariously. "No!" The words came from LaCroix and Nicholas simultaneously. "It _is_ my choice, is it not, Lucien?" Catherine demanded, her hands on her hips, eyes flashing. "Yes, yes, of course, my dear." LaCroix lowered his voice to a persuasive purr. "But, surely you see the numerous advantages in choosing myself." Catherine desended the stage steps regally and stood before LaCroix. Gently she reached up and placed her hand against his cheek. "Yes, I know the power that you could give me, Lucien. I've also seen the way you torment your children. I won't give you any more control over me than my own heart has already given you." Her voice belied the sting of her words. She stepped even closer and brushed her lips against his. Catherine continued, "Nicholas is part of you, Lucien. I will still be with you." LaCroix could deny her nothing; this woman had touched a part of his heart which had remained frozen for a very long time. He returned her brief kiss. "Very well, my dear. I step aside for my son." LaCroix gallantly offered her his arm with a flourish and together they left the dance floor. At the bar, Vachon was congratulating Nick. "Always the lucky dog, Knight. Always in the right place..." Vachon caught Natalie's initial reaction of shock turning to pain and amended his thought to himself, Natalie sat in stunned silence at the turn of events. This was becoming too much for her already strained nerves. "Nick, you wouldn't...would you?" Natalie's small, anguished voice was lost in the tumult of noise around them. Nick couldn't bring Catherine across. He couldn't if he loved her, Natalie. Janette she could almost understand, but this woman was a stranger. And LaCroix's creature apparently, as well. The object of all the attention was not hearing either Natalie or Vachon. As LaCroix and Catherine approached, Nick uttered a single word. "No." His voice was edged with anger and his eyes were rimmed in red. "Nicholas, my boy, of course you will." LaCroix took Nick's obedience for granted. He smiled down at Catherine who would soon be his. "No, I will not." His voice softened somewhat as he too looked down at Catherine. "You cannot ask it of me. You do not know what you ask." "I do ask it of you, Nicholas de Brabant. This is _my_ life we are discussing." Catherine stood her ground; her intense desire to live was in her eyes for all to see. Natalie had heard those words before, out of her own mouth. Would Catherine's pleas have any more effect on Nick than her's had? Perversely, Natalie hoped not. "I do not ask it of you, Nicholas. I am telling you." LaCroix's voice was hard and his eyes were cold. He would brook no insolence from this one, his child. "You cannot tell me whom to bring across, LaCroix." Natalie was proud to see him stand up to his master, just this once. >That's right, Nick, you're your own person, not one of his creations.> "Ah, but, you are wrong, dear boy. I can tell you and I will." LaCroix stepped closer to Nick. Try as he might, Nick found he could not break the spell of his master's gaze. "Tell me, Nicholas do you remeber when I brought you across, lo those many long years ago, we made a bargain, did we not? Do you remember your words to me? Do you remember our little bargain?" Finally, Nick gained the strength to glance away from LaCroix. He was trapped as surely as any animal. "I remember." "And you have yet to fulfill that bargain, do you not?" LaCroix saw his victory at hand and relished his power over his son. "Very well then. You owe me this, Nicholas. And I WILL have Catherine brought across. There will be no more discussion." To his own astonishment, LaCroix found himself vastly amused by Catherine's choice and Nick's subsequent discomfiture. "Would someone mind explaining what's going on here?" Natalie found her courage in the bottom of her wine glass, determined not be an idle spectator any longer. "Nicholas, tell her," commanded LaCroix. "No, you will get more pleasure in the telling than I. Go ahead, LaCroix." For the first time since their arrival, Nick reached for his glass and drained it, ignoring Natalie's accusing gaze. It did little good; his eyes remained unchanged and his fangs still itched to bury themselves in flesh. LaCroix did indeed relish the telling; bursting this little mortal's naive ideas of her Nicholas' true nature pleaseed him to no end. "Simply put, dear Natalie, when a new vampire is made, he or she owes his master one small favor...one kill. Or in this case, not quite a kill. Nicholas has never paid his debt to me." LaCroix really had the most evil smile Natalie had ever seen. "There was one occasion, however, in Paris, I believe it was, a young dancer..." LaCroix continued and was interrupted by Nick. "You win, LaCroix. I'll do it." His eyes flashed red/gold fire at LaCroix. "And then I owe you nothing further, agreed? Our dealings will be finished. Forever." "Agreed, Nicholas, agreed." He had won this round, there would be others, no matter what Nicholas believed. LaCroix placed Catherine's hands in Nick's and turned to lead them to the center of the room. "Not here." Nick refused to move. "Modesty, Nicholas, at your age? Ah, I forget myself. You are a bit out of practice, are you not?" LaCroix laughed briefly under his breath. Nick had LaCroix by the collar in one swift movement. "Not here, LaCroix. You may force me to do this, but I won't be entertainment for you." "I understand, my boy, not in front of the good doctor. Quite thoughtful of you, actually." LaCroix spared Natalie a single pitying glance. "Very well, my quarters are at your disposal." "Nick?" Natalie reached out a tentative hand, not quite touching him. In spite of all their history, the sight of Nick so firmly the vampire frightened her more than she wanted to admit. There were a million questions in her eyes. "Stay here, Nat. Stay with Vachon." Nick refused to acknowledge the pain on her face. He couldn't, not now. He had a precarious grip on his beast as it was, allowing himself to see the hurt he was causing Natalie would only bring the evil closer to the surface. He couldn't afford to lose control. Nick skewered Vachon with a look. "Take care of her. I expect to find her just here, just as I'm leaving her, when I return." "Sure, Knight. What do you take me for?" Vachon reached behind him for a fresh bottle of the house reserve. If he was to be Natalie's watchdog, he'd best feed. Thoughtfully, he held another bottle out to Nick. "I suggest you drink up, too, Knight." Nick shook his head and without a backward glance at Natalie, left the bar with Catherine. Natalie watched in misery as the black leather door leading to the back rooms of the Raven closed behind Nick and Catherine, taking them from her sight. Beside her, Vachon was forgoing his glass and was tilting the full bottle of blood to his lips. Disgusted by his overt display of vampirism, Natalie turned her head away from him. "Sorry, Natalie. If I'm to be your guard dog, I can't let my 'appetite' get out of control, now can I? And you are so appetizing." Vachon shook his head. "Knight's a fool." "Stop it, Vachon. Just stop it. I'm the fool and I'm leaving." Hurridly, Natalie picked up her purse and started to slide off her seat. "But first I have a few things to say to Nick." She turned in the direction Nick and Catherine had taken. "Oh, no you don't." Vachon gripped her firmly by the arm. "Knight wants you here and here you'll stay." "I don't give a damn what he wants." She was truly angry now. She tried to free herself from his grip, but it was useless. He was just as strong as Nick was. How dare these two think that they could dictate her actions. "Don't follow him, Natalie. You don't really want to watch him make love to another woman do you? And that's what he's doing." Vachon's voice trailed off as he became lost in his own fantasy of doing the same to Natalie. "Making love as vampires do, Natalie, first sharing of the blood and then sharing of the body." "Stop it, Vachon!" Her voice cracked as tears came to her eyes. Instantly, he was contrite. "I'm sorry, Natalie. Really sorry. Please stay here, with me?" Vachon wiped away a salty tear with his finger and handed her her wine glass. "Please, just stay with me, OK?" His mouth curved in the enticing smile he could show when needed. "I promise to behave." to be continued...comments to: VOICE OF THE RAVEN (5/6) (see disclaimers and notes in part 1) As the solid door of LaCroix's quarters whooshed shut behind them, Nick and Catherine separated and stood apart. Now that the time had come, Catherine was more than just a bit nervous. In fact, she was terrified, but determined to put a calm face on it. Sheer bravado had gotten her through the evening thus far, but she was weak physically from the cancer that was slowly killing her and suddenly exhausted by emotion. Carefully, she made her way to the divan and sat. At the window, Nick stood silently staring out into the endless night. The moon was waning, a pale light filtered into the dim room. Catherine watched as he stood there, a handsome specimen of a man, but not her man. "Nicholas, come and sit with me." One of them had to make a start. There would be only one outcome to this evening, they both knew that. "Do not think to order me, just because you have LaCroix's favor." Nick's eyes were glowing red-gold and his voice was barely civil. "I do not think to order you, Nicholas." Catherine sighed. Her reasoning for choosing de Brabant was valid. She summoned up nearly the last reserves of her inner strength and went on. "Perhaps you will allow me to explain..." "Explain away." Nick's tone was unforgiving. He turned from the window and pierced her with her glare. "Please explain why I've just had to hurt the most important person in my life. Please explain how I'm going to make this...transgression up to her." "I am sorry I've put you in this position, Nicholas, but you are my only salvation." Catherine fought to keep the desperation out of her voice; he couldn't refuse her, he musn't. Nick laughed openly at that, but there was no humor in the sound, only self-contempt. "Salvation? I am absolutely the last person anyone could count on for salvation." "Please, I don't want to die, Nicholas. And I am dying." Catherine stretched out her hands to him in expression of her pain. "Nor do I want to spend eternity under Lucien's scrutiny. I've seen too much of him to wish that. Surely, you of all people can understand that motivation." "That I _do_ understand. You care for him though, don't you?" The thought that LaCroix should have done something to deserve the love of this gentle creature disturbed him. LaCroix would just end up using her as he had used everyone else he professed to love in his miserable 2000 year long existence. "Yes, I do. I love him, Nicholas. I know that you know what love truly is." Catherine sighed again and caught her breath before her breaking voice could betray the depths of her feelings. "And that gives him quite enough power over me, don't you think?" Nick leaned against the mantlepiece as he began to relax. Catherine was just another victim caught up in his master's tangled web. But, still, could LaCroix actually have changed; could he return Catherine's affections? Unless his acting abilities had improved quite recently, it seemed that he could and that he did. "He's been alone a long time, Catherine." "I know. No one deserves to be alone for so long. Will you cooperate, Nicholas? You are the only one who can help me." Catherine looked up at him from under long lashes. "I don't have a choice. And I don't like not having a choice." Nick crossed the room to stand before her. "Tell me one thing, Catherine; why me? There were plenty of volunteers tonight." "Thrillseekers, voyeuers, manipulative so and so's worse than LaCroix. I've considered them all, Nicholas. And you are the only answer. A vampire with strength of character, power of age and the thing most difficult to find, compassion of soul." Catherine rose and placed her hands on his chest as if in supplication. "You will not seek to dominate or control me. Will you, Nicholas?" Faced with such candor, Nick couldn't help but respond to the naked fear in her face. "No, Catherine, I would not." There was no help for it; he was bound by his oath to LaCroix. And yet, he wanted to help Catherine of his own volition, too. If she was determined to spend her love on LaCroix, Nick would give her what advantages he could. "I will give you my life and free you to find your own way." Catherine stood on tiptoe and brushed his chilled lips with her warmed ones. "Thank you." Ever so gently, Nick enfolded her in his arms. They clung together for a moment, each gaining strength from the other as if they existed in a very still pocket of time. Softly, she slipped out of his embrace. She looked up at him out of 'cat eyes' that, at this moment, were still a light brown with overtones of green and gold. Inspired by his brief taste of her, he suddenly desired to see them flaring gold with passion...passion for him. Abruptly, he turned away from her. "Where does LaCroix keep his supply of the House Special?" Nick began searching the chamber for the blood he knew would be there. Catherine crossed the spacious room to a highly ornamented magohany armoire and swung the door open to reveal bottles, glasses and other bar implements. "Allow me to play bartender; would you like a glass or just the bottle?" "Let us try to be civilized about this. We'll start with a glass." He took the proferred goblet from Catherine. He smiled faintly down at her, slipped her hand into his and led her back to the velvet divan. Nick knew he would have to go slowly to succeed in his quest. LaCroix was right, he was out of practice. Nick also knew he needed to partake of large amounts of blood, human blood, before he made any attempt to bring Catherine across. Otherwise he risked draining her in the inevitable ectasy at the taste of her blood. They sat companionably for a time, side by side, each lost in their own thoughts. Catherine sipped delicately at a fine Rhenish, savoring her last glass of wine. Nick tossed off glass after glass of the blood, feeling the warmth of it coursing through him, energizing him and giving him heightened awareness of his surroundings and his erstwhile partner. She was not what would be called classicallly beautiful by any charity. Her nose was too small, her chin too defiant, but her eyes were liquid and her skin alabaster cream. As the blood lust began to take him, Nick reached out to Catherine and felt that soft, white skin under his hands. Catherine moved into his arms and returned his carresses, confident in her choice for master and her choice for life. Nick could feel that trust in him and it helped to calm his racing thoughts. If any good was to come of this evening, he would have to be perfect for her. He would have to try to bring her across without tainting her with the guilt and torment he felt of his own existence. If this is what she truly wanted, just this once, he would give someone their heart's desire without thought for himself or the cost. "Come to me, Catherine." Nick's fangs were gleaming in the faint light as he lowered his head to kiss her. She was warm, enticingly warm. Her lips parted and responded to him eagerly. Her small hands smoothed the tension from his shoulders and eased his jacket away. He could feel the heat of her as her body merged with his. Her hands were bold, moving over his chest, her sharp nails scratching him teasingly through the light silk of his shirt. Slowly, gently, Nick nuzzled her neck, moving from her lips to shoulders and back again. He tensed as he drew first blood, just grazing her with the tips of his fangs and then quickly licking away the hurt. Catherine had conveniently worn a low decolletage but still he crushed the soft velvet of her gown in his icy grip, bruising her delicate flesh. Catherine shivered at his touch and then shook violently as she felt pleasure in his cold kisses and sharp, but welcome, pain in the first sacrifice of her humanity. Their mutual passions rose, Catherine abandoned herself to her conqueror, Nick gave in to his instincts. Trusting arms tightened around his neck as Catherine threw her head back in the joy of the moment. Nick could plainly see the blood pulsing under the fine skin, drawing him to her as a bee to a flower. Nick fought the driving impulse to take her for the briefest of moments and then with one final surge of lust, he buried his fangs in her neck and tasted the riches offered to him. He had forgotten the ectasy, the absolute pleasure to be had from a willing victim. All Catherine's hopes and dreams ran like burning fire in his veins; she sang to him in his blood. She needed him, she wanted him, and, still, she loved LaCroix, devoutly desired to be brought across, firmly believed that this was the only choice to be made. She eagerly gave up her life's blood to him, her saviour, her master. She was not his victim, but his child now. His responsibility. With a ragged gasp, he forced himself to stop drinking. Nick raised his eyes to her face and looked for signs of his failure, or his success. Searching her eyes he saw a peace and contentment he knew he had never felt, even in his brief mortal life. "Catherine...are you allright?" His voice was hesitant. "That is the most idiotic question I've ever heard, Nicholas." She smiled lovingly up at him even though her voice was weak. She felt pleasantly drowsy and allowed his strength to hold her upright. "I'm dying, aren't I?" There was hope and anticipation in her question. "Yes, Catherine, but not for long, I promise." Carefully, so as not to jostle her, Nick tore at his own wrist and brought it to her lips. "Drink, Catherine. This is my life I give to you." Hesitantly at first and then with increasing determination, Catherine took what she needed from him. As her first hunger was sated, Nick laid her gently back on the velvet pillows. "Rest, Catherine, rest now, my child." He laid a hand on her forehead and felt the warmth receding. But, before she closed her eyes, he saw the golden glow of them. Catherine caught at his hand as he rose from her side. "Thank you." Sleep took her. to be continued...comments to: VOICE OF THE RAVEN (6/6) (see disclaimers and notes in part 1) Nick had no idea how long ago he had left Natalie in Vachon's tender care. He had lost all track of time in Catherine's company. Oddly, he felt no guilt about what he had done to Catherine, for Catherine. She was content and would live and be happy and that was enough for now. There would be time later for doubts and recriminations. Time later to let the guilt surface. He attempted to slip unnoticed into the dark of the noisy club but LaCroix was instantly at his side. "Well, Nicholas?" "You have what you demanded, LaCroix. And now I'm quit of you." Nick stepped away from LaCroix, then turned back. The thought of Catherine going willingly to LaCroix stuck in his throat. "She's too good by half for you, LaCroix. Be warned, if you ever mistreat her, you will have to answer to me." "Oh, playing the propietary father figure does not become you, Nicholas." LaCroix voice was steel. "Catherine belongs to me, now. Do not forget it." "She belongs to herself, LaCroix. There is more strength in her than you could ever imagine. Her's is not a spirit that deserves to be broken on the altar of your vanity and power. She is worthy of so much more than that. And if you cannot or will not see that, LaCroix, I pity you." Nick turned his back on the elder vampire and stode away. Natalie was just where he'd left her, sitting at the bar with Vachon. Only something had changed in his absence. Vachon sat with his arm around her and Natalie rested her head on his shoulder. Nick couldn't know that they had found the one thing they had in common, a desire for someone they couldn't have. The futility of their separate lives, the unsurmountable distance between themselves and their desires bound them together in a way Nick could never fathom. Nick stood before the two of them, apart, a stranger, not knowing what to say. What was there to say? I'm sorry was so inadequate, and as he mercilessly probed his own thoughts, he wasn't sorry for what he'd done. He was only sorry that LaCroix had profited by his actions and more sorry that Natalie had been hurt by them. Would she acknowledge that he had indeed had no choice? That he had been trapped by his past? Natalie looked up at Nick and her eyes narrowed. "Where's your jacket, Nick?" She slid off the barstool and stood up to her full height. She looked accusingly at him and spoke hurting and hurtful words. "The least you could have done is wiped the blood off." Belatedly, Nick took stock of his appearance. He knew now that he'd left his jacket lying on the floor in LaCroix's quarters, that his shirt was missing at least one button and he could feel the drying blood on his lips. Resolutely, he resisted the temptation to lick at the stain. "Well, I've been a good girl, Nick. Stayed here with Uncle Javier, didn't make a spectacle of myself, didn't go and get myself brought across. Although I think I could have found a taker." She sneaked a sideways glance at Vachon who raised his hands in protest. "Don't look at me that way, Knight. I've been behaving, too." "And, now if you don't mind, I'm leaving. Leaving this place and you." Natalie felt as if she couldn't leave the club fast enough. She had seen too many of her hopes and dreams crushed into dust in one night. "Nat, I'll take you home. You shouldn't go alone." Nick's voice was tired and resigned. "I'm through listening to shouldn'ts from you, Nick. In fact, I think I'm just through." Natalie turned to Vachon, who had sat as silent witness to the awful finality of her words. "Javier, would you mind taking me home?" Vachon rose a bit unsteadily to his feet. "No, not at all, Natalie. Be happy to." Taking one last drink, Vachon helped Natalie with her coat and escorted her out of the club. Neither one of them looked back at the solitary figure at the bar. finis Hope you enjoyed this one. I know that I ruffled a few feathers with it and it's not my usual happy ending, but if all we had were happy endings we would have nothing to hope for in the future...Stay tuned to this same channel for part 3 "What Goes Around". Thanks ever so for reading...comments and virtual whatevers to: -- Cat MacLean hawksrdg@pacbell.net **************************************************** *N&N Packer with Shades of Grey/Closet Vaquera * *2nd Cousin of the Knight/Lonely Hearts Sympathizer* *Writing Is Easy, Just Stare at a Terminal Until * * Drops of Blood Form on Your Forehead * ****************************************************