Date: Thu, 1 Apr 1999 05:22:12 EST From: Shana Nolan Subject: adult: Want Muse-tard With That? (01/01) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Well, here we go again. I'm sending out two tonight, but I promise more... I have a few more already sitting on my HD. :-) Disclaimers: I don't own them, nor can I seem to trade them for my car. Cousin Mary is used with permission (*bang, "Ow!") . Frank doesn't exist, nor does his association (keep reading), and I think I still have the pink slip for myself. Permission to archive granted to Mel's fkffic site and the DPs. Others ask first, just don't mind the straight jacket. Comments to DPangel79@aol.com, I'm a glutton for those. Want Muse-tard With That? by (Cousin) Shana Nolan ************* "You're at it again." "What?!" "You're at it again." "I'm guessing this isn't a good thing." "I don't know, my dear, you haven't defended me very well of late." "I... I... but... there are reasons... I... " "And these reasons are... ?" "Something good... I just don't know what they are yet." *chuckle* "Really?" "I'm beginning to suspect you're mocking me." "I would *never* do that." "Sure... what did the sunset look like today?" "Hmmm." "I haven't defended you recently 'cause I've been busy." "Busy?" "Yup. Homework. Lots and lots and lots. Ever read Tennyson?" "Knew him. He was a really depressed little sot." "I've noticed. So I guess you've noticed I haven't written much recently." "Noticed, yes. Worried, perhaps." "Worried? You?" "You've been ignoring your muse... " "Check your e-mail." "Why?" "Oh, don't look so innocent. I know you're on that list." "What list?" "You're kidding, right?" "Not really. There is more than one list... " "True, but this list is... different." "Oh. *That* list." "Yep! Come on... admit you're on it... I know you are... " "And if I did?" *knock, knock* "Damn! Hold on to that thought!" *opens door* "Hello, ma'am, my name is Frank and I'm from the Get A Life Institute, where we specialise in bringing people back to reality. If you'd like to invite me in, I would gladly expain to you our special, personalised programs that we hand-tailor to your individual needs and re-introduction to normal society with their accepted mainstream practices." *blink* "Get A Life Institute?" "Yes. ma'am, may I come in?" "I don't know, I do have company... " "I would be happy to speak with all the persons in the house." *evil laugh* "Okay, but I hope you have insurance." "Thank you, ma'am, I'll just pick this room here with the... pink decor and the really tall gentleman that is currently staring me down at the moment." "Heehee. Okay... Frank, may I introduce Lacroix." "Very nice to meet you, Mr. Lacroix, I'm Frank from the Get A Life Institute. How can we help you today? Perhaps our image consultant can assisit you with updating the darker, less trusted look that you seem to be conveying... " "Don't kill him, Lacroix." "But he's not running away yet. It'd be so easy." "No." "It wouldn't please you?" "I didn't say that! I just... if you do, it might cause paperwork and that'll cause questions and then your son and Tracy will have to pry into your life and stop me by writing cause my 'puter will be taken for evidence-- " "Excuse me, ma'am, am I interrupting something?" "Don't interrupt me. As I was saying, my computer will be taken in for evidence and then they'll find that little 'request' you had me do and I'd just have to laugh and take a break." "You wouldn't." "Hell, yes, I would." "But there's other files I know you wouldn't want Nicholas to see... " "Hmmm, maybe, but its not like its a secret." "Are you so sure?" "Um, excuse me, ma'am?" "Yeah, I'm sure. Go ahead, embarrass me. I do sign my name to the stuff I write after all." "Uh... sir... ma'am... " "What, you're still here?" "Yes, ma'am. YOu invited me in. May I explain the Institute now?" "Errrr... hold on. You still wanna eat him?" "Come to think of it, anyone like that might not taste good." "You may have a point." "Ma'am?!" "Hush. You're sure?" "Come to think of it, I did skip dinner." "Go right ahead then." "Ma'am, could you please ask your friend not to look at me like a pork chop?" "No, I don't think so. Hey Lacroix." "What?" "Want mustard with that?" "Hrmm. Don't think it would help. Oh... and yes, you and Mary did a fine job." ******************* {finis} I'm collecting all the various ways to be called insane, so go ahead and send your comments to DPangel79@aol.com. hugs! Cousin Shana, the Dark Perk Angel, DPangel79@aol.com DP*fkp-l listowner*TK*Ravenette*CP*NNnut*GWDFC*G4 duckling*MBB*Chimera Visit the Manor-- http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Chateau/1591/manor.html "Go sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here." --As Good As It Gets