Date: Sun, 16 Apr 1995 14:06:52 -0700 (MST) Ways and Means by James Walkswithwind The laughter rang through the room, bouncing off the ceiling and filling the loft with its hollow, mocking tones. Nick grimaced; he had *thought* he'd beaten him, or at least convinced him to go away. Or at least.. well obviously he hadn't. Lacroix's voice echoed through his home, making him realise that no matter what he did, how hard he tried, Lacroix would be there trying to mess things up. And even when it didn't work, something *always* did go wrong. Like this time, he'd nearly lost his cover as an honest policeman. Everything had been pointing to Nick, evidence damning him as a cop on the take. Only a stubborn partner and a willing witness (courtesy vampire persuasion, but one did what one had to) had cleared Nick's good name. Nick owed Schanke a huge debt, and owed Nat at least three dinners in one of Toronto's fanciest restaurants. She'd helped Nick replanted some stolen evidence, which would help prove that it hadn't been him, receiving money for information. Nick sighed. His head hurt! All that work, all that skating around trying desperately to save a falling house of cards. All because Lacroix had gotten bored and decided to play with Nick's career. Play with his mind. He'd won the battle, but Lacroix acted like that had been his intent all along. One of these nights, he was going to.. Nick sighed again. He didn't know what. He just wished he could do something to get the vampire off his back. "It's really fascinating. Have you seen this? I don't know what they're up to." Nick waited until the sounds of Lacroix's parting laugher died away, and tried to reassemble his thoughts. He'd had plans, before this latest fiasco. Plans for.. something. What was it? He had a sudden image of he and Nat, wandering the streets of Paris. *That* wasn't it. Was it? Taking Nat to Paris, on vacation? Was he nuts? Taking her to Europe, when by rights they'd only worked their way up to dinner and a movie? Oh! Nick looked up with a smile. That *had* been it. Dinner at a french restaurant, owned by an old friend from France. And a double feature of Bogart films. Well, it was almost Paris. "How are things going? Any more trouble like yesterday?" Lacroix sauntered into the Raven. He gave Janette a huge triumphant smile. She returned it with little interest. Lacroix had the distinct impression she was only being polite, and that she'd rather he had gone elsewhere to celebrate his latest. Well, so it wasn't an impression, it was a clear reading of her thoughts. Same thing. Lacroix ignored her disinterest and sat down beside her. The waiter brought a tall galss, and he saluted her with it. "Aren't you going to join me for a toast?" His eyes sparkled in delight. "I don't think so. I am not hugnry, and I have no interest in your games with Nicholas." She barely glanced at him, and returned to watching the dancers- and the waitresses moving among them. She'd had trouble yesterday, with one young girl trying to make friends with her customers. She kept an eye on her while Lacroix gloated. "You should have seen the look on his face." Lacroix grinned, as he sipped the blood. "Yes.. you seem to enjoy hurting him." Janette said, distractedly. Like she didn't care either way. "Oh, but my dear you know better than I- *I'm* not the one hurting him. I'm merely showing him how his *own* behavior is causing him such pain, confusion, and loss." He smiled. "It isn't *my* fault." He chuckled, and emptied his glass. "So far I haven't seen any signs of trouble, not like yesterday's. I've never seen them act like that.. but then these are a pretty unique group. Sometimes i think there's a lot more going on, than we realise." When Janette refused to rise to any of his comments, Lacroix decided he'd inflict his charms on others. it was such a joy, owning a radio station, setting his own rules and doing everything his own way. Broadcasting whatever his current whims dictated. And it tickled him that Nicholas always tuned in. As if he couldn't help but listen to his master, even as he tried so hard to "break away". Lacroix flew to his station, and pondered what joys he'd indulge in tonight. "What are you saying? That they're smarter than average? We knew that already. Anyone could see that, by how quickly they adapt. But if you're saying there's a *reason* for their strange behavior.. where's your data?" Lacroix turned the switches that let his voice cover the city. He smiled, and played a few selections from Handel's Messiah. He giggled throughout, as he felt Nick's sudden move away from the radio, as he turned it on. As it ended, he began his monologue about being nice to those you loved. He kept the delight from his tone, keeping it low and somber like the Nightcrawler was suppsoed to be. But he laughed aloud whenever he played the music. The look on poor Nicholas' face was priceless! It was something he'd have to do again.. "Well look at this. I've charted the behaviors that we've seen more than five times, and recorded which one performed which behavior. And to which other it was directed. I mean, it's wierd! Number five *always* does this patting behavior towards numbers two and four, but never to the others." "But five is male, two and four are female. Surely that-" "Yes, but twelve is female, too. And five never seems to perform this patting behavior in her vicinity. And this rooting behaivour, digging in the sand, with three. None of the others does this, but five and three do it all the time when they're together- and never when they're apart. "What's more, number one is always fighting with five. We know that- but look at this pattern of behavior. First one spends time with six, then he goes to five and sometimes they fight immediately, sometimes they seem to tolerate each other for awhile, then they fight. And then one goes back to six, or he goes to this corner. He spends a lot of time in this corner, just sitting and facing the others. It's like.. I dunno. It's wierd. And that *this* one. Number three. We know he eats more than any of the others, often foregoing other activities. But have you noticed how he never seems to go near one? It's like they dont know each other exists. And he almost never approaches six. Three spends all his time with five, twelve, and four. Even though five spends time with all of them. "It's bizarre. I wish I could explain it, but it seems like.. well it's like they're doing something more than just.. eating, playing, roaming around. What do you think?" "You really think they're intelligent?" "Well, certainly more than the regular norvegicus species." "That we knew already. The question is, how much more?" "Well, if I had to guess.. I'd say the rattus diphylla is.. about as intelligent as a squirrel. Certainly as social." "Oh yeah? That'd be interesting. Hey, did you read Pfieffer's new article on squirrel learning behavior? He thinks squirrels can be trained to show up at a certain place, at a certain time, to receive food- which is available at only that time and place." "So what? Bees do that too. Why couldn't squirrels?" Yeah, but squirrel food isn't naturally available that way. I mean, nuts lie around all day long." "Yeah, you're right. Hey, I wonder if our rats could do something like that? Learn to tell time?" "Don't look at me like that. Get one of the grad students. That's why they're here- to do your grunt work." "I would, except none of them will agree to work with these rats." "You're kidding! Why?" "Someone started a bunch of rumours about being bitten by one, and getting realy sick. The kids won't even come into this lab anymore." "Geesh. You'd think grad students would have stopped believing in vampire myths by now." "You'd think. Hey, look at that.. four and five and nuzzling!" the end A pearl goes up for auction. No one has enough, so the pearl buys itself. --Rumi, 13th cent. James Walkswithwind gila@jbx.com