WE DON'T DO BIRTHDAYS . . .


A Conversion Day Challenge Story


by Patt Elmore


*****************************


"Hey, Nightcrawler," the unfamiliar voice drawled from the
other end of the phone line.  


Though his outward posture did not betray him, LaCroix
bristled slightly at the too familiar tone of the caller.  The
vampire, his face strobed shades of blue by the subdued
lighting in the booth, leaned forward and spoke softly into the
mike.  "Yes?"


"A little birdie told me that you had a birthday coming up," the
voice said smugly.  "How old are you, anyway?"


"Old enough to have done it to your mother, I would
imagine," LaCroix spat back. 


"Touchy, touchy," the voice responded, now gleeful.  LaCroix
listened closely as the caller continued to prattle, making vague
references to age and decrepitude.  But, this conversation did
not interest LaCroix.  He was much more concerned with
listening to the background noises which might identify the
phone assailant's current location.


With a sly grin, LaCroix received the information he desired
when a background voice announced  ". . . precinct."


"Ahhhhhhhhh," LaCroix smiled, disconnecting the officious
caller with a flick of his finger.  The mike uncued, LaCroix
continued to mumble under his breath.  "Nicholas has decided
to play a prank.  How droll.  How uncharacteristic of one who
prides himself in maintaining his own personal high standards
of doom and gloom.  Someone must have spiked his moo
juice."


Then, LaCroix's grin broadened.  


"Two can play, my willful child," LaCroix muttered with a
facial expression somewhere between a grimace and a grin. 
"Two can play . . ."


************************


Natalie Lambert exited the morgue's front entrance and headed
down the stairs.  She was tired and her feet hurt.  A bubble bath
was the only thing on her current agenda and she was not
prepared for what happened next.


Leaning against her modest sedan, waving two tickets of some
kind in the air, was an overwhelmingly happy Nick Knight.


"Win the lottery?" Natalie inquired, reaching past Nick with her
key.


"Better," Nick grinned in response.  "How'd you like to
accompany me on an all expenses paid trip to sunny Italy?"


"Sunny?"  Natalie gave the vampire cop a very odd look.  "Are
you sick or something?  Did someone spike your . . . ?"


Nick shook his head feverishly.  "No, no . . . nothing like that. 
I'm still me."  As if to demonstrate, Nick jumped straight into
the air, alighting atop a nearby lamp post.  Natalie glanced
furtively around, making sure no one had seen this scene, then
glowered up at the smirking vampire.  


"Get back down here at once."


"Why?"


"Because you're making my neck ache," the lady coroner
growled.  "What's the matter with you anyway?"


Nick jumped lightly down and gathered Natalie into his arms. 
"I'm just happy, Nat," Nick assured her with a broad smile. 
"I'm at peace with myself."  


Natalie tilted her face, regarding Nick suspiciously.  "Why?"


"I had a revelation last night, Nat.  I was watching one of those
infomercials on television, about taking charge of your life.  I
usually don't pay much attention, but this guy said some things
that made sense.  He said that you, and only you, can decide if
you wake up happy or sad each morning."  Natalie tilted her
head the other way, her eyes narrowing further.  Nick corrected
himself quickly.  "Or night.  Whatever.  Anyway, *I* decided to
take charge of my life, and the first step was letting Pops know
I'm free of his yoke."


"Uhhh huhhh," Nat didn't look convinced.  She shifted
uncomfortably on her tired feet and stared into the inviting
interior of her car.  "By *Pops,* I'm taking you mean LaCroix."


"Yup!"  Nick nodded with youthful enthusiasm.  "I tweaked the
old, and I mean *old*, boy's nose tonight.  Got one of the
rookies to call in and wish him a happy birthday." 


"How sweet and considerate of you."  Natalie gave Nick a half-
smile.  


Nick nodded.  "Well, before you get too happy, let me back up
a bit.  You see, it's not exactly his *birth* day, as you'd know it,
but the anniversary of the day his was brought across."


Natalie's eyes widened with sudden interest.  "You celebrate
those?" she asked.  


"Well, not usually," Nick replied.  "But this is a special occasion. 
And," Nick's dark blue eyes twinkled with devilish amusement,
"the call was just the beginning."


**********************************


LaCroix sensed that someone had been in his quarters even
before he turned the knob to enter the rooms.  He glanced
around quickly, taking note of any changes.  In the first room,
nothing seemed amiss.  LaCroix strode toward his bedroom
and stopped short.


Upon the vampire's bed was a gaily wrapped package,
complete with blood-red bow.  LaCroix crossed the room and
noted that it bore an unsigned card which said simply "Happy
C-day."  LaCroix lifted the gift and shook it.  Nothing rattled,
nothing exploded.  But it did begin to ooze.
 
LaCroix dropped the box, which accommodatingly broke open
to reveal a massive rock nestled in a bed of white foam.  A
cracked vial was near the rock, obviously broken in the jolting
LaCroix had given the box, and the cause of the resulting
spewage.  The rock, of course, was lava and the bubbles were
representative of molten flow.


In response to this *gift,* LaCroix kicked the rock across the
room, then flinched as the pain of the effort ran up his leg.  The
vampire hobbled toward his bathroom, his mind beginning to
form a plan. 


*****************************


"This is 'Sunny Italy'?"  Natalie looked at the playhouse
entrance which sported in neon billing, "A Funny Thing
Happened on the Way to the Forum."


"Best I could do on short notice," Nick smirked.  "Somehow, it
seemed the right place to be tonight."


"I see . . ." Natalie said, then she began to shake her head.  "No .
. . no I don't see.  Nick!  Just what is going on??!"


"Wait and see," Nick encouraged the doctor as they assumed
their seats just as the theater lights began to go down.  He
leaned over and planted a suggestive kiss on Natalie's startled
lips.  "This is just to put us in the mood to be ready for When in
Rome . . ."


*****************************


LaCroix stepped from his shower and padded across the thick
carpet of his bedroom.  He stopped in front of the armoire and
opened the heavy wardrobe doors, intent on donning one of his
dark, silk robes and reading until sleep claimed him.  Inside the
closet, however, no dark robes were to be found.  Suspended
from each of the hangers was a costume store version of a toga. 
LaCroix pulled one from the closet and stared at it with
incredulity.  


"Too far."


*************************


Nick flinched slightly as he felt LaCroix's rage zip across their
link.


"What is it?"  Natalie looked at her companion with concern as
his fingers contracted painfully into her shoulder muscles.  The
last act of the play was drawing to a conclusion and Nick
should have been laughing.  Instead, he was obviously
distressed.


"I may have given too much," Nick replied, offering the woman
a weak smile.


"Oh," Nat said, pretending to understand.  She offered Nick an
empathetic look and a tissue.


"You're great, Nat," Nick said, hugging the woman.  "Want to
come back to my place and spend the night?"


Natalie stared at Nick, breathless.  "You mean it?"


Nick nodded.  "Sure thing.  I think it's high time we had our
own little C-Day celebration."


"See Day?" Natalie said, allowing Nick to grasp her hand and
practically drag her up the aisle.  "Isn't that kind of dangerous
for you - - to see day?"


"My silly valentine," Nick kissed the astonished woman with
such passion that her head began to spin.  "Car too slow.  We
fly!"


Nat didn't even have time to shriek in protest as Nick leapt into
the air with her in his arms.


**************************


Across Toronto, LaCroix quietly closed his window and smiled. 


*******************************


Entering Nick's loft from the skylight was a new experience for
Natalie.   Her hold on Nick's neck tightened as he plummeted
downward.


"Easy on the jugular, Sugar," Nick scolded lightly.  "You're
getting me over-excited."


"OH!"  Natalie's eyes widened.  She relaxed her hold on her
paramour and flopped back in his arms, just as he landed on
the ground floor of his massive open living space.  Nick
immediately slammed Natalie down into the folds of his
overstuffed leather couch and pounced atop the woman.


"Nick, Nick, Nick!"  Natalie mmmfffffed from beneath the
vampire.


"Nat, Nat, Nat . . ." Nick whispered from within her hair.


"Wait, wait, wait!"  Her palms sought his chest and began
shoving at him.


"Why, why, why?"  Nick mourned.


"Now don't get angsty on me," Nat reproached him.  "I was just
wondering whatever happened to romance?  After all, I've been
waiting quite a few years for this moment and a slap and tickle
on the sofa wasn't exactly what I had in mind."


Nick sat back and regarded the woman.  "What did you have in
mind, Nat?"


"Oh . . . a little courting might be nice," Natalie replied.


Nick frowned.  "Always hated courting," he replied.  "Had to
dress up, bow to Dad, wear a sword, pledge fealty, listen to
Fleur try to sing . . ."  Nick shuddered.


"Not that kind of *court,* you dunce."  Natalie poked Nick hard
in the arm.  "I meant fantasy and foreplay stuff."


"Oh . . . music, flowers, etc., etc., right?"  Nick looked pleased at
his comprehension of the situation.  Natalie rewarded him with
a bright smile and a nodding of chestnut curls.  "I can handle
that."


Nick hopped off Nat and strode quickly across the room. 
Grabbing his remote, he clicked seventeen of the forty-seven
buttons.  Natalie watched in awe as the transformation of the
loft began.


Lights subdued, windows closed for ultimate privacy, the
television vanished, the air clouded with the scent of peach
blossoms and metallic copper.  Natalie sneezed.


"Your musk is kind of strong, isn't it?" Nat remarked, blinking
back tears as Nick approached her.  


He stopped and beamed at her.  "Just like the man it
represents."  Nick stanced and demonstrated a flex of his
muscles.  He was rewarded by Nat's sharp intake of breath and
just a tinge of salivatory response.  "Music?"


Natalie nodded and once again Nick was amazed at the way
her hair seemed to bound around with a life of its own.  The
vampire pointed the remote again and the CD player chugged
into life.  


"One of my favorites," Nick grinned.  Natalie waited
breathlessly.


     "Old Nicola had a loft . . . e i e i ohhhhhhhhhhhh,"


Nat gave Nick a worried look.  Nick was mouthing the words
along with the song.


     "And in that loft he kept some chicks . . . e i e i ohhhhhhh,"


"Oh, I am out of here."  Nat jumped up and ran for the door. 
With vampire speed, Nick darted in front of her, his face
concerned.


"What's the matter?"  He seemed truly confused.


"You're so clueless, Nick Knight!" Nat yelled at vampire.  "Why
would any woman want to stay here and listen to a song
touting your 'Neck of the Week' exploits?"


"Huhhhh?"  Nick's eyes clouded.   "I guess you don't want this
then . . ."  He held up a plush yellow chick in her face.  When he
gently pressed the side of the toy, it emitted a soft peeping
noise.  


Charmed, Natalie threw her arms around the neck of a
confused Nick and began planting kisses all over his exposed
skin.  "Oh, Nick."


"I take this to mean that we're *on* again," Nick finally
managed to say amid Nat's smothering embrace.


She nodded, her lips currently occupied in trying to remove the
epidermal layer of his chin.


"Kewl," Nick grinned.  "But," he said, gently detaching the
woman, "I have a few more romantic-type things to take care
of.  Wait here."  He wriggled out of her hold and jumped to the
landing above, disappearing through his bedroom door.


"Remember to make it quick," a restless Natalie called up to
him.  "We promised to make this a *short* story--no more than
three posts and we're already to the middle of the second."


Natalie couldn't make out Nick's muffled response, but he
sounded mildly irritated.


The intercom buzzed, announcing a visitor.  Natalie walked
over and pressed the communications button.


"Home delivery from Azure," a voice announced.


"Ohhhhhhhhh, I didn't know Azure made house calls." 
Natalie's mouth began to water.  "That must have cost him a
pretty penny of the de Brabant Foundation's liquid assets." 
Natalie pressed the button again and told the delivery man to
come on up.


The lift door opened and a slight man in his early twenties
rolled a cart into the room.  Natalie tipped the man, who
frowned slightly at the gratuity before leaving.  Natalie was too
engrossed in examining the contents of the cart to notice.


"Hmmm . . . salad, cheese, bread, sardines . . . yep all here."  She
reached for the wine bottle breathing in its chrome casket. 
Natalie examined the label, whistling low as she noted the
name and date.  The good doctor glanced up toward the
balcony and, seeing no sign of Nick, made a decision based on
scientific hyperbole.  "It's for me anyway," she said
emphatically, pouring a hefty dosage into one of the fluted
glasses provided with the repast.


Natalie sniffed the glass, then downed the contents in one long
gulp.  A self-satisfied smile soon radiated from her cherubic
countenance.  


"This better?" Nick called from above, spreading his arms to
display his new attire.  He was resplendently romantic in a
swashbuckling sort of way:  leather knee britches, high boots,
white linen shirt with dropped shoulders and puffed sleeves. 
Natalie regarded him dreamily as he vaulted to the floor. 
"Figured we might play pirate . . . and you can be my captured
wench."  He grabbed hold of Nat's waist and pulled her toward
him.


"Hic . . ." Nat coughed in response.  


Nick noted her glazed eyes, the glass in her hand and the open
wine bottle at her side.  "What's this?" he asked.


"Din din," Nat giggled, holding the glass toward him.  "Want
some?"  Then she giggled again and pulled the glass back. 
"Sorry . . . forgot.  Not your taste."


"Hmmmm . . ."   Nick lifted the bottle and sniffed.  His
handsome features contracted in concern and anger. 
"Diphyllaiam.  Vampire date-drug.  Guaranteed to make the
most ardent resistor completely compliant.  Where'd this come
from?"


"Over the deep blue . . ." Natalie hic-tittered in reply.   "I wanna
be ravished now, okay?"  She threw her arms around Nick's
neck again and buried her head in his chest.


"Okay," Nick replied, lifting the coroner up and carrying her to
the examining couch.  He laid her gently on the sofa and barely
had time to get his own balance before she was reaching for
him, intent on ripping his shirt off.


The intercom buzzed again.


"Damn!"  Natalie fell back, frustration evident on her face.  "I
know I said foreplay, but this is ridiculous."


Nick got up and walked to the speaker.  "Yea?"


"Delivery . . . from the Raven."


He turned and grinned at the doctor.  "For me?  You shouldn't
have."


"I didn't," Nat replied, then her expression became odd.  "Or at
least I don't remember if I did."


"Not to worry," Nick said cheerfully.  "Let's see what we got."


"Nick," Natalie said, suddenly worried as the lift doors began to
open again.  "I thought this was a LaCroix story.  He hasn't
been in this segment at all."


"And, you're complaining?" Nick asked, moving aside so the
delivery person could enter.  "No one likes LaCroix stories
anyway.  Isn't this much nicer?"


"Well, yeah . . ." Natalie's voice trailed off as she tried to process
the data she was receiving.  "But, I don't see him just leaving us
alone like this."


"You think too much, Nat," Nick responded, tipping the
delivery man, who smiled at the gratuity.  "One of the problems
with educated females.  What say we just sit back and enjoy a
LaCroixless moment?  I figure it won't last long."


"What's that?" Natalie blinked in surprise as Nick rolled the
huge crate further into the room.


"No clue," Nick replied, examining the wooden container for
tell-tale markings.


"As usual," Natalie murmured, reaching for her wine bottle.  


"Ahh, ha!" Nick announced.  "It says 'This end up.  Fragile--
handle with care.'"


"I should be as lucky as that box," Nat said dryly, taking a long
sip from her refilled glass.


Nick headed off in the direction of the utility room off the
kitchen.


"Where are you going, Nick?" Natalie inquired sweetly.


"To get a crowbar--to open the box."


"Nick . . . why do you need a crowbar?"


Nick stopped, his expression stymied.  Then he shrugged and
grinned sheepishly at Nat.  "I see your point."  He returned to
the crate and tore the wooden bracings off easily.  The sides of
the crate fell to the floor with a loud thud.


"What is it?"  Nat had slid up behind Nick and was peaking
over his shoulder at the now exposed object.


"Not sure," Nick examined the mound of clay-like material with
interest.


"It looks kind of like a huge . . . cow patty," Natalie offered with
some trepidation.


Nick gave her a harsh look.  "This is conical, Nat.  Cow patties
are flat and bulbous.  Everyone knows that."


"Like I go walking through pastures in my spare time," Nat
replied indignantly.  


Their repartee was interrupted, however, by a flash of light
from the top of the inverted cone.  Nick and Nat stepped back,
awestruck, as the tip began to glow.  They stole a quick glance
at each other and mouthed in unison:


"LaCroix."


The tip of the cone exploded, allowing a fine mist of orange
glitter to rain down upon the vampire and mortal.  Orange and
yellow streamers pushed up from the clay, draping down its
sides in semblance of molten flow.


"Beats my vial and rock all to hell," Nick had to admit.  "This is
righteous." 


"It's supposed to be a volcano, right?"  Nat guessed and was
rewarded with a nod from Nick.  "What's the occasion?" Nat
persisted.


"C-day," Nick replied, unable to remove his eyes from the
spectacle before him.


"What's with this sudden need to 'see day,' Nick?" Nat insisted.


"Not 'see day,' C-day.  Conversion Day."  


"Oh.  This has something to do with LaCroix's being brought
across, right?"


Nick nodded.  "You're good, Nat, and right the first time.  The
volcano is symbolic of Mt. Vesuvius . . . LaCroix was nipped
the night, or afternoon, or whenever, that the mountain decided
to blow its top."


Natalie did a quick mental calculation, then made an
unpleasant face.  "Yuck . . . he *is* old, isn't he?"


"Yep," Nick cast her a quick grin.  "Ancient as hell."


The volcano emitted a whoofing noise which immediately
brought Nick and Nat's attention back to it.  The clay formation
shuddered, then began to expand.


"LaCroix is known for mayhem, right?"  Nat asked, clinching at
Nick's arms.  "Perhaps we should skedaddle?"


"Nahhh, not his style.  If he'd wanted us dead, he'd have used
real fire rather than crepe streamers," Nick reasoned.  Then he
grinned.  "I have a feeling this will be a surprise I might like."


As if on cue, the sides of the volcano widened further and a
dark clad female rose from its depths, arms extended above her
head.  Janette DuCharme looked at Nick, then Nat, then Nick
again and smiled suggestively.


"Janette popping out of a volcano?" Nat poked a staring Nick in
the ribs.  "This is LaCroix's idea of a party favor?"


"Don't knock it," Nick whispered back, his eyes never leaving
Janette's svelte figure.  "Last year Screed popped out of it."


Natalie shuddered in response, thought about the image for a
moment more, then began to smile.  "I need more wine," she
remarked, leaving Nick's side in search of beverage.  


"Nicola," Janette smiled down, extending a hand for his
pleasure.  


Nick caught the offered digits and kissed them coolly. 
"DuCharming as usual," he quipped.  


Nick helped Janette descend from the mountain's heights.  She
was standing regally by Nick's side when Natalie returned.  


"So how do you figure in this scenario?" Nat inquired, taking a
deep drink from her glass.


"I am a reminder to Nick of what a gift truly is," Janette replied,
giving Nat a cool smile.  "Nicola's *attempts* to amuse LaCroix
earlier this evening were accepted with good grace, but did not
have the panache of a gift truly made to please the recipient." 
Janette turned her attention to Nick, running a long, perfectly
manicured fingernail down the length of his chest.  "Shame on
you, Nicola, teasing LaCroix such.  And, on his Conversion
Day, no less."


"So you're supposed to be a gift to Nick?" Natalie inquired,
keeping her voice low.


"Non," Janette laughed lightly.  "Nicola was a gift to me."  She
turned burning eyes upon her brother/sire/ex-lover/best
patron/etc., etc.  "LaCroix's gift to Nicola is wisdom--the
knowledge that, no matter what you two do together, your
tryst can never be as satisfactory as what Nick and I had . . .
have together."  Janette licked her lips and looked at Nick with
smoldering eyes.  "Without the blood, there is nothing."


"Oh yea!"  Nat quickly put herself between Nick and Janette. 
She caught Nick's face in her hands and pulled his eyes down
until they met hers.  "We'll just see about that, sister."


"Wishful thinking, Natasha," Janette smiled succinctly.   


Natalie ignored Janette and attached herself to Nick, her mouth
prying open his with the ferocity of an alley cat.  Her tongue
wrestled with his, threatening to choke him with a
hammerlock.  


"How perfectly disgusting," Janette sniffed, then rose quickly to
escape through the skylight.


"Nat," Nick managed to gag through her oral clothesline hold. 
"If ya don pull it bak in, it's gonna cum out thru my eye."


"Oh!"  Nat fell back and grinned at Nick meekly.  "Sorry . . . I
just got carried away."


"Does this mean that the fooling around is through and we can
cut to the chase?" Nick said hopefully.


"We better," Nat nodded, "'cause we're on page five of part
three of this mini-opus.  McLisa's gonna hurt us if we don't
wrap it up."


"Think she'd let us break the rules in honor of LC's C-day?"
Nick said hopefully.  
 
A moment of silence.  "Nahhhhhhh," Nick and Nat shook their
heads.  


"This means . . ." Nat said sorrowfully.


" . . . only one thing," Nick agreed mournfully.


Due to the FKFIC list posting limits--continued tomorrow.


**********************************


Like you expected anything else from wordy me?? <G>  Patt


*****************************


"Okay, where were we?" Nick asked, gathering Nat into his
arms once more.


"Cutting to the chase, I believe," Nat grinned.  Then, with a
quickness rivaling Nick's own, she slipped down and out of his
grasp.  With a gleeful whoop, she vaulted over the black leather
sofa and darted across the huge room.


Grinning boyishly, Nick pursued.


And finally caught her--after several failed attempts thwarted
by a variety of obstructions including his motorcycle, the
refrigerator door, a collection of lady's toiletries, a lamp -- one
of them really ugly which Nick didn't mind losing--the water
cooler, a dummy wearing armor, a couple of buckets of 
paint . . .


Laughing, the pre-lovers tumbled to the ground, hitting the
hard floor with a resounding *thwop.*  Breathless, Natalie
looked into Nick's eyes.


"I love you, Nick."


>From all around them a chorus of AWWWWWWWWWWWS
could be heard.


"I love you, Nat."


Louder AWWWWWWWWWWWWWs reverberated off the
walls of the loft.


"I love you both," a calm masculine voice announced from
above them.


Nick and Nat glanced skyward.  "VACHON?"


"Just had to peak out of the hard drive for a minute," the
Spaniard noted, looking down at the entangled couple.  "Patt
promised that I'd have a role in her next story, and this is her
obligation met.  Getting some pointers on romancing Tracy-
Perk, you know.  Adios, muchachos, and buenos amoroso."


"Hasta la bye-bye," Nick called up as Vachon disappeared. 
Then the blonde vampire looked back down at Nat.  "Where
were we?"


"Dealing with vampirous interruptus," Natalie replied.  


"Well, I have the cure for that."  Nick lowered his face and
began nuzzling Nat's neck.  The woman arched her back and
whimpered in pleasure.  Nick's attentions moved downward,
focusing on the indention at the base of her throat.  


"Damn you, Nicholas," Natalie cried out, grasping at him, lost
in her pleasure.  Her hands took on a life of their own,
uncontrollable in their search for satisfaction.  Nat's fingers and
teeth ripped at Nick's shirt buttons while Nick licked her ear.  


Their bodies continued to thrash and roll across the floor,
unmindful of the wreckage they caused.  Natalie reached for
Nick as Nick reached for Natalie, both of them encountering
variables they had expected, and many they had not.


"Why do women wear these things?" Nick asked, tossing Nat's
pantyhose over his shoulder.  "The only thing they're good for
is getting runs."


"They helped *snag* you, didn't they?" Nat laughed.  Then a
frown spread across her pretty face.  "What's this."


"A garter," Nick noted where her hand was currently located.


Natalie gave Nick an odd look.  


"Don't ask," Nick replied, removing and tossing the offending
garment away.  "It could have been a chastity belt, ya know."


Natalie opened her mouth to reply, but Nick smothered it with
his own.  He allowed her air and grinned down into her
flushed face.  "All encumberments gone now, milady.  Time to
test the theory."


"I'm ready!"  Nat waited expectantly, afraid to breathe that she
might shatter the moment.  
 
"Nat . . ." Nick whispered.


"Nick . . ."


"LaCroix."


They both turned to see the master vampire applauding them,
his slow clapping matching the shifting of his gaze across their
bodies.  
  
"What are you doing here, LaCroix?" Nick rasped, reaching for
his trousers.  


"I just stopped by to thank you for the endowments you
rendered unto me today, my son," LaCroix replied, his look
holding on Natalie's curvaceous body.  


Nick noted LaCroix's gaze and snorted hotly.  "My 
pleasure . . ."


"So I see," LaCroix gave Nat a warm smile.  


"Have you ever heard of knocking?" Nick asked testily,
throwing Nat her sweater.  


"If you don't want company, you should learn to turn off your
lights and lock the door," LaCroix countered, stooping to pick
up Nat's skirt and extending it toward the woman.  "You would
do well to remember the lessons that I've tried to teach you."


LaCroix watched as the others hastily dressed themselves. 
"Don't bother on my account," he smiled.  "In fact, I was rather
hoping that you would finally finish it, Nicholas, and bring her
across.  Give your old man a present he could be proud of." 


"Never!"  Nick replied, irked and irritated.  "Natalie is too
sweet, too full of goodness and light, too wonderful to be
brought into our dark world of despair and loneliness."


LaCroix looked like he might retch.


"Give me a break, Nick," Natalie glared at the blonde vampire
in frustration.  "I'm a woman . . . not a porcelain doll.  I need
good old fashioned loving, right now, or I am going to walk."


"Yes," LaCroix advanced on them, his manner menacing.  "She
wants you, Nicholas.  She desires your dark and brooding
disposition.  She wants that temperament which makes you
unique--a morality play in cinematic technicolor.  Give in to
your true nature, Nicholas.  Give me the gift of her life."


"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"  Nick cried out angstfully.  "I won't do
it."


Nat and LaCroix looked at each other, then back toward Nick.


"Pretty please?" Nat cooed.


"Come on, Nick.  It's my C-day.  Show me you care."  LaCroix
coaxed.


"Give in to your nature," Nat implored, stretching her neck
taut.  "Bite me."


All the happiness fled from Nick's face, replaced by the
haunted countenance which he had possessed, on and off, for
eight-hundred years.


"This sucks!"  Nick announced.


"Promises, promises," LaCroix sighed.


"Nick, I'm waiting . . . " Natalie's voice was edged with
warning.


Nick looked at the woman imploringly.  "I'm in a no-win here,
Nat.  If I do make love to you, then I ruin your chasteness and
go against the canon of the storyline.  And, if I don't, I'm
ruining both of our chances for happiness.  But if I do, I'm
giving LaCroix what he wants, which is against what I want,
because it's what LaCroix wants.  And, if I don't, then I'm
staying true to myself, but giving up what I want, too.  Does
that make any sense at all?"  He looked at the woman
hopefully.


Natalie just stared at him, then slowly began shaking her head. 
LaCroix commenced to giggle.  


Frustrated, hurt, unable to cope, Nick did what he always did
in crisis situations involving LaCroix.


He vaulted into the sky, disappearing to lick his wounds in
bitter solitude.


Leaving Natalie standing beside LaCroix.


"This is not canon," Natalie noted, watching Nick depart
through the skylight.  "He's never left me alone with you
before."


"He's never had you side with me before, either, my dear,"
LaCroix smiled down at the delicious coroner.


"I didn't side with you!"  Natalie protested, then stopped when
she noted LaCroix's condescending smile.  "Okay, I did sort of
side with you, but you were right.  Nick and I belong together."


"Even though such a union would cause him guilt and further
angst," LaCroix reminded her.  "You are a selfish woman,
Natalie Lambert.  I like that."


Nat had opened her mouth to protest, but LaCroix's final words
stopped her.  Her eyes raked over the physique of the dark
vampire master, noting his external punctuation to his verbal
notation.  "Oh," she remarked, noting the . . . vitality . . . of the
connotation.  "I see."


"Do you now?" LaCroix inquired politely.  "Care for a closer
look?  Might help you and Nicholas achieve your goals--all the
pleasure with none of the guilt."


"What the heck," Nat smiled.  "It is your birthday, after all.


"Conversion Day," LaCroix corrected her with a gracious smile. 
"We don't *do* birthdays."


*******************************


The End 


Patt Elmore
patt79ad@juno.com or
pattelmore@juno.com