Return-Path: Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:34 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (1/6) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU What Dreams May Come (A sequel to: Perchance to Dream) Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit & (in part 5 only) explicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), you have been warned. Thank you. The characters depicted herein are the property of James Parriott, Sony/Tristar, Paragon, and the other PTB. Many thanks to all of the creative minds involved. I'm just taking them out for a little excursion. I promise to bring them home not much the worse for wear, and to tuck them up nice & snug with a goblet of bloodwine & a good book. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. Permission granted to archive at www.fkfanfic.com. Anyone else, please ask me first. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 1/6) by Amie LaRouche Nicholas did not sleep until well after daybreak. Instead he sat musing, contemplating the flames, considering the many scenes witnessed by the fireplace itself, this object which he had carried with him for so many centuries... He lost himself in the past, almost afraid to think of the future which rose before him - a future both glorious and terrifying. A future with his Natalie. Forever. One way or another, he would make sure of it. Well past dawn, he slept. And he dreamed... Natalie was his, they were together by sunlight or by starlight. He revelled in the sight and scent and taste of her, sensuous images blending and swirling in his mind... They were one, heart and soul and flesh. He dreamed of pleasures mortal and immortal... of making love to her, stroking her silken skin, watching her cry out, inexpressibly beautiful... of the ecstatic pain of her fangs piercing his neck, the joy and passion in her blood as he fed from her in turn... He half-woke, smiling... and slept again. And he dreamed... Her skin was satin under his... her kisses fire and wine... Bliss turned horror as he fought to control the beast within him, his entire being focused on not draining his lover. She sensed his hunger, began to fight him, bringing his predator's instincts to the fore. She tasted of terror and desire as she collapsed in his arms... The scene shifted: he was trying to reason with her, fearing for her and himself and the mortal she was hunting. He held her arm, and she turned to snarl at him, eyes glowing red in the starlight... In the distance he saw his master, laughing... Nicholas woke with a start, drenched in sweat, trembling. The dreams taunted him with the shattered remnants of last night's castles-in-the-air... His optimism fled with the setting sun, leaving his heart once again in darkness. It could not be done. He could not give Natalie what she needed. He dared not try again for Janette's cure, after his near-disastrous loss of control on their last attempt. He could not truly believe that Nat still had faith in him after he betrayed her trust. The irony that Natalie was alive only through LaCroix' intervention was not lost on him - and he knew that another attempt would end in the same way, this time without such an unlikely saviour to rescue her from his folly. As for bringing her across... she really did not know what she was asking! To demand that he condemn her to the hell from which he wished only to escape? How could she possibly wish to become a creature like himself? It was madness... Had she forgotten how her own brother had been affected when he was brought across? Richard had been a dedicated police officer - he became a vigilante, a madman who had to be destroyed... Nicholas had seen it happen too often, that slight instabilities became magnified by the vampire existence. Admittedly, Nat's blood had shown him no such tendencies, but who knew what might happen? And he could not - *could not* - ever, under any circumstances, bring himself to destroy his beloved Natalie. He had almost killed her once, and it was too much to ask that he should even contemplate risking her life again. So why had he allowed himself to be seduced by her letter the night before? He rose shaking, trying to suppress the tears which choked him. He ran the shower scalding hot, willing the streaming water to carry away the anguish... he thought, He sighed heavily. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He dried himself, putting on his customary black silk pyjamas. This was his night off from work, and he saw no need to dress properly yet, if at all. Belting his red brocade smoking jacket firmly, he stalked out to face a night of hard decisions. ********************** (end part 1/6) Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:34 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (2/6) To: FKFIC-L@lists.psu.edu Disclaimers, etc. in part 1 Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), you have been warned. Thank you. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 2/6) by Amie LaRouche At the top of the stairs he stopped. Seated on his leather couch was one of the two people he least wanted to face at this moment. LaCroix turned, his expression carefully neutral. "Good evening, Nicholas. You are late getting up. I hope you don't mind - I have availed myself of your excellent stock of bloodwine, while I waited." LaCroix watched Nicholas closely, as he walked reluctantly down the stairs. "Good evening LaCroix. I'm glad it's more to your taste than usual. Thank you for providing it." Nick responded, as neutrally, as he headed for the fridge himself. he thought, Nick placed a bottle of blood and a goblet on the table, while he went to re- light the fire. The hearth-fire itself, like the mantelpiece, was a link with his past. He didn't actually require its warmth, but he never felt quite at home without its flickering light. He returned to sit in an armchair, facing his father. "To what do I owe the honour of this visit?" "I am sure you already know, Nicholas. I have come on behalf on Doctor Lambert. As I believe she has told you, we have been in contact since the... unfortunate events just over two weeks ago. I know the general contents of the letter she sent you. As I have come to be rather fond of Natalie, I think that we should discuss your plans before you speak to her. Particularly as I sense rather a change in your mood since this morning. Twelve hours ago you were filled with anticipation... now you appear to have returned to your more usual state of gloom." LaCroix' piercing eyes seemed to see into his son's very soul, a knack which Nicholas had always found intimidating. "What has happened to dampen your enthusiasm for the good Doctor's excellent plans, Nicholas?" As LaCroix spoke, Nick felt his earlier confusion wash over him once more. He tried to come up with an offhand response to the question. Instead he found the words tumbling out, found himself telling his father of his fears as he had not done for many decades. "LaCroix, I don't know what to do... Natalie wants to try again for Janette's cure - or she says she does. I don't see how she can possibly trust me again, when I don't trust myself... I *know* I couldn't control the vampire. I've almost killed her once. I can't face that again!" "Then do as she desires, and bring her over, Nicholas. It is really quite simple. You wish to be with your mortal lover, she wishes to be with you. This cannot happen as things stand, as you correctly point out. The solution is before you. Why do you refuse to submit to necessity?" The younger vampire rose, draining his glass in a nervous gesture. He crossed to the fireplace, studying the flames as if they could give him the answers he sought. "I can't bring her across! She doesn't know... she *cannot* really know who we are, LaCroix, what we have done... She does not understand!" He turned to face LaCroix. His blond curls, lit from behind, gave him the aspect of a terrible angel. Nick paused a moment, searching for the words to convince his father. "LaCroix, listen to me! I... I was right, wasn't I, about Fleur? Even you have to admit that I was right..." LaCroix turned his head away, the old agony welling within him, but he did not argue. "I couldn't let you bring my sister across. As much as I wanted to keep her with us forever, I knew it would be wrong! To have become like us would have destroyed who she was, her innocence... I had to let her go, to protect her." He searched LaCroix' visage for a response, any response, and found none. He went on, "Can I choose differently for Natalie, merely because I'm in love with her? You, of all people, know how fledgelings can change, when they feel the vampire within them. Even if I allow that to be a vampire is not necessarily evil, how can I risk Nat's soul? What she *might* become? Can I value her mortality less than Fleur's?" "Nicholas, your Natalie is not Fleur! She is no such innocent. She is more akin to a nun than a libertine, but she knows who and what we are. She has seen death, in all its forms. She knows the evil of which men - human as well as vampire - are capable. She has survived great pain and loss, and healed herself. She has the strength to retain that purity of spirit which draws you to her. Natalie is fire, and life, and light, Nicholas!" LaCroix was at his most persuasive. He did not wish to lose either the woman he already thought of as his granddaughter, or this beautiful, difficult son of his. "And it is, in the end, truly *her* choice, my son. She has chosen freely and with full knowledge to be brought over. You cannot deny her this without denying her the autonomy which you value so highly." Nicholas was almost desperate to make the older man understand his reluctance. "She can't decide with full knowledge - no-one can! You know that! She hasn't felt the blood-hunger rise, blocking out thought, erasing love... She has never had to fight the desire to hunt, never tasted the insidious pleasure of draining a mortal's life... She thinks that she can give up the sunshine, but no-one can ever know how precious such things are until they've gone forever. LaCroix, she does not, she cannot understand!" LaCroix began to lose patience with his son. If persuasion was ineffective, perhaps it was time to resort to the brutal truth. With deceptive mildness he responded, "She hasn't told you then?" "Told me? Told me what?" There was already a note of panic in his child's voice. "There is not much left for her to give up, Nicholas. It is already gone. My dear boy, your Natalie is half-vampire already. Have you *still* not thought this through? She is a survivor. She has recovered although you drained her almost to her death. Have you not noticed that she is becoming thinner... how pale she has grown? Can't you sense the change in her? Or do you refuse to acknowledge what you know to be true?" "What are you saying? How bad is it? Nat hasn't said anything to me..." LaCroix replied bitterly, "She did not wish you to know, I suppose. She desires your willing assistance. And she still cherishes the hope - of which I have carefully not disabused her - that she will recover. In the end, though, there is really very little choice. Natalie can hardly tolerate food, Nicholas. She has been living on those dreadful protein drinks, as she can keep nothing else down. And hardly those, at times. Your beautiful Natalie has not been out in the sunshine without pain since you fed from her. She cannot *give up* things which have already been taken away." Nicholas was crestfallen, not wishing to believe that his mentor spoke the truth. "The symptoms should fade with time.. She'll heal, return to normal... It just takes a while for the effects to wear off. I can't bring her across simply because she hasn't yet recovered fully..." "How long has it been now?" The question was scathing. "More than two weeks. Have you ever seen a full recovery after this long? I have not. I have never seen a survivor return to humanity after being so drained... She is more vampire than human now - she cannot go back. And what is left for her? In the end, madness and death. You know this, Nicholas! You cannot deny her need." "LaCroix, you can't ask this of me! I cannot damn her soul, drag her into this hellish existence..." LaCroix' temper, barely held in check throughout the interview, flared. He glared at his son, and began pacing around the loft, restraining himself from physically chastising Nicholas only by a supreme effort of will. "Selfish child! How *dare* you use your vaunted morality as an excuse to avoid your responsibilities? You have stayed in this woman's life, you have used her skills, you have allowed her to remain lonely and unfulfilled for your sake. You knew from the beginning that you should move on, allow her to have a normal life since you refused to make her part of yours... And yet you stayed. You kept her at arm's length, but not so far away that she could find another lover, one who could make her happy, who could love her as she deserved. "And in the end, when she finally insisted that you end the games, you showed as little self-control as any fledgeling! You fed from her, without a *thought* to the consequences. Not only did you almost take the life of this woman whom you profess to love, but you were unforgiveably careless in allowing her to feel so much through your link with her. I have heard her scream in the night, Nicholas! She tells herself that the nightmares are from her own imagination, but we know better... Natalie would not willingly speak ill of you, but it is obvious from what little she has told me that you had no concern for anything other than your own desires. She came to you in love - and you did not even attempt to meet her needs, to give her the pleasure that you took. That she was able to find any love in the bloodlink is a wonder. That she does not hate you for your actions amazes me." Nicholas tried to break in, to say something, anything, but LaCroix stormed on. he thought, "*She* defends you! She insists that she should have known better than to put you in such a situation - that you were starving, that you could not be expected to behave any differently. Does that sound familiar, Nicholas? Is that not a refrain you have heard too often: 'I love him, it's not his fault'...? Tell me, Nicholas, is that who you are? Are you so self-absorbed that you can see only your own needs? What of Natalie? What of the pleasures you have denied her? What have you given to her that can begin to pay your debt?" LaCroix turned to face his child, rage blazing amber in his eyes. The outrage was not alone for Natalie. It was for himself as well, for the centuries wasted on his son's pointless obsession with mortality, which had time and again led him into actions which had harmed not only his family, but the mortals he adored. Perhaps at last he could be forced to realise how harmful such self-righteousness was. What he saw almost melted his rage - almost. Nicholas slumped against the mantelpiece, staring into the flames, his face streaked with bloodtears, his cornflower-blue eyes blank with despair. His hands were clenched into fists, small trickles of blood falling unheeded to the carpet. The smell of his protege's blood roused the hunger in LaCroix, nearly distracting him from his purpose. "Well?" he demanded harshly. "How will you pay your debt to this woman? Will you allow your self-loathing to destroy her life as well as your own? Or will you finish what you began? You owe her that, Nicholas - not only to bring her across, but to be her father and her master - to guide her, watch over her, teach her how to survive as a vampire. If you will not do it, my son, I *will*. Natalie will accept me as her father as a matter of necessity, but it is you that she wants. It is you that she loves, much as you may be unworthy of it. Will you deny this debt, Nicholas? Will you refuse her need?" The golden-haloed, fallen angel turned from contemplation of the flames. The haunted look in his eyes was slowly replaced by a new determination. Nicolas de Brabant moved to kneel before his master, placing his hands between LaCroix's in a gesture of fealty. He spoke quietly and without hesitation, "Father, I accept this debt. I will atone. All I have, all I am, is hers... I give it to her freely. What she requires, she shall have, no matter the cost. This I swear, by my honour and my life." He paused, looking directly into LaCroix' eyes for the first time that evening. "Thank you... Lucien." Lucien LaCroix raised his beloved son to his feet, kissing Nicholas' hands in a father's blessing. ********************** (end part 2/6) Return-Path: Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:34 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (3/6) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Disclaimers, etc. in part 1 Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), you have been warned. Thank you. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 3/6) by Amie LaRouche Natalie arrived home from work before dawn, exhausted. It had not been the easiest of nights, not least due to having handed in her resignation, effective immediately. It seemed the best course. Her problems with blood were, if anything, getting worse. And if all went to plan, Nick would bring her across very soon... She would need quite some time to readjust anyway, without making things harder by keeping on with her job. So it had been a trying night - and she was more than a little anxious about her future. She had yet to hear anything from Nick in response to her letter of the previous evening, so she had no idea what his response had been. She had expected him at least to ring her... Perhaps he hadn't yet made up his mind what to do. Listlessly opening her door, she saw... White. White roses... A sea of ivory- hued, sweetly-scented petals. Every available surface was crowded with the blossoms. They stood in vases of cut crystal, of fine porcelain, of rainbow-hued glass. They floated in exquisite bowls of every size and shape and material. The scent hung heavy in the air - intoxicating, almost overpowering. She wandered through the apartment, as if in a blissful dream. Her bathroom was transformed into a conservatory. Ferns draped their graceful fronds from hanging baskets, filled the shelves, even surrounded the bathtub. Candle lanterns hung around the walls, their flickering glow casting dancing shadows. An array of enticing bath oils sat in a basket, half hidden by roses. And the bedroom... Candles stood everywhere, surrounded by yet more roses. These blooms, though, were red - the deep, rich red of bloodwine - their scent headier and more sensual than their paler cousins'. The bed was draped with a midnight-blue velvet coverlet, turned back invitingly to show crimson silk sheets. A carpet of rose petals, red and white, lay strewn across the bed. Pure white against the crimson pillow, lay an envelope. Natalie roused enough from her daze to open it. The musky scent of Nick's cologne rose from the paper, mingling with the perfume of the roses. Inside, a note, written in Nick's fine, elegant hand: Natalie, my love - My gracious Lady, all shall be as you desire. Your devoted servant, Nicholas Knight. Natalie smiled slowly. Soon, cocooned in scented steam and shadows, entranced by the play of light on water, she dreamed... ********************** Nicholas returned to his loft mere moments before dawn. He had slipped out of Natalie's apartment via her balcony just before she entered it. Having finally admitted to himself that she was half-vampire already, he had 'listened' for her arrival - and her reactions - along their bloodlink. He found that, when he was not denying what he felt from her, he could read both her feelings and her whereabouts with considerable clarity. The bond was remarkable in its strength. He allowed himself a certain anticipatory pleasure as he considered how much stronger their connection would be after he brought her across... As strong as his bond had been with his own master before he began to shut LaCroix out of his life and his heart. If he was very careful and very, very lucky, perhaps Natalie would never block their link. More likely, he would have some years - perhaps even a century or two - before she began to hate him for making her a vampire, and to push him away. Under the circumstances, he could live with that prospect. He would deal with the recriminations when they came. LaCroix had returned slightly earlier from their excursion to transform Natalie's apartment into a rose-bower. He was again sitting before the fire, a goblet of bloodwine close to hand. As Nick entered, he poured a glass for his son, who accepted it with a nod of thanks. "She was very tired when she came in. But oh, LaCroix! She was enchanted with the flowers!" Nicholas' grin was infectious. A slight smile touched the older man's face as he caught the echoes of Natalie's pleasure through his link with his son, which for once was not closed tight. "I am pleased to hear it. I would have thought her hardhearted had she not been." He studied his son closely. "It was... good, was it not, Nicholas, to work together again? I do enjoy seeing you happy. It happens so seldom. I hope that your new daughter will bring you joy at last." He looked away, not quite willing to vocalise his true wish - that perhaps Natalie could provide himself and Nicholas with a fresh start. In a way, she already had. He and his son were talking - actually talking, not sparring - for the first time in decades. How long it would last he could not predict, but Lucien LaCroix was accustomed to living in the moment. He would enjoy this accord, for as long as Nicholas allowed it to continue. "Yes, LaCroix, it was good." Nick was still smiling, wistfully now. "I've... missed that." He sighed, and shook his head, returning to more urgent matters. "So. When do you think I should bring Nat across? Assuming she really does want me to, of course." LaCroix became quite serious. "As soon as possible. She is gradually becoming weaker, though I have done my best to maintain her strength. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to ensure that you do not take too much." "Very well. Tomorrow night then, if she is willing. I have to be sure, though. If she does not truly wish to become a vampire... I have one child already who hates me for what she is. If Natalie were to blame me for bringing her across... I can't take that chance." Nicholas forced a brief, bleak half-smile. "I don't exactly have the best track record with my offspring, LaCroix. I don't seem to be very good at this." "Well, Nicholas, my children have always been difficult. Why should yours be any different?" LaCroix finished his glass of bloodwine. "Now, if that is settled, I would like to get some sleep. I would advise that you do the same." Nick gathered up the empty bottle and wine glasses, taking them to the kitchen. "Yes, you're right. I'll take the couch if you like." He returned to stand rather nervously in front of the fireplace, stroking the carved dragon's head on the mantel for comfort. "LaCroix... I have a request." He glanced at his father, then away again. "I am really not at all certain that I can do this. It has been so long. And Natalie's blood is... so sweet... You can't imagine it..." thought LaCroix, "LaCroix... would you be here, when I bring Natalie across? I know how difficult it would be for you, but it is the only way I know for her to be safe." He looked pleadingly at his father, unable to read either his face or his feelings. Inside himself, safely shut away from his son, LaCroix fought to master his emotions. He had never thought to hear Nicholas make such a request - of Janette, perhaps, but not of himself! He had planned, of course, to be nearby anyway. He had no intention of risking Natalie's life entirely to his son's unpredictable whims. And yet, he knew that to be present while Nicholas brought her across would stretch his own self-control to its limits. His visits to Natalie's apartment had not been without cost to him. He had already had to increase his feeding in order to keep his hunger within bounds. In part, it was his desire to taste again the nectar of her blood, the rich life which flowed within her. Beyond that though, was an increasing desire to feel the heat of her body against his, to discover the varied textures of her skin, to learn how to make her weak with pleasure... "Of course, Nicholas. I would be honoured to be present. A very wise idea." ********************** (end part 3/6) Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:34 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (4/6) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Disclaimers, etc. in part 1 Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), you have been warned. Thank you. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 4/6) by Amie LaRouche They spoke briefly on the phone in the afternoon, and Nat agreed to come to the loft that evening, as soon as it was dark enough for her to venture out. Natalie arranged for her cat to stay with a friend for a few days. She thought it was wiser, considering the likely results of a bored Sydney-cat alone in an apartment full of bouquets and ferns. Nick rang the station to book off on an indefinite leave of absence. Captain Reese was not pleased, but had to admit that it would probably do Nick good - he hadn't really been focused on his work since Tracy's death. There were a few other arrangements to be made. Extra cases of blood and bloodwine to be delivered from the Raven's stores, a few special orders placed with various merchants... Natalie arrived just after sunset. She felt slightly anxious as she rode up in the lift. It was the first time she had been to the loft since that disastrous night, and she was concerned that being there might bring up unwelcome memories. The lift stopped, she opened the door. What she saw effectively wiped away the cobwebs of the past. The loft had undergone much the same transformation as her apartment. Bowls and vases filled every corner, crowded with white and red roses... Pots of flowering jasmine and honeysuckle vines were twined along the railing of the balcony which ringed the upper level of the loft. Candles were everywhere. Their flickering light, along with that from the fireplace, was the only illumination. The mingled scent of the flowers and beeswax was almost tactile. Stepping into the room, it felt as if she were pushing aside a heavy velvet curtain of scent. Suddenly, she was utterly happy. She wanted to dance, to shout aloud to the world - that she loved, and was loved... And tonight, she would be brought across, joining her lover in eternity. He appeared before her as if from nowhere, with that vampiric speed which still amazed her. He was dressed all in black, as if to emphasise the darkness which she chose to embrace this night. His golden hair glowed in the candlelight, a rebellious counterpoint to his dark message. Anxious lest she react badly to the loft, to his presence, he held himself in check, not reaching for her as he so much desired. She was exquisite! He could not help staring, drinking in the sight of her... She stood quietly, watching him watching her. He took in her clothing in a glance, with the approval it merited. Nearly eight hundred years of life had served to hone his appreciation of elegance. He was, as he had been born, a gentleman, and it pleased him to see his lady- love dressed in a fitting manner. Her shirt was the deep red of claret, with numerous small pearl buttons and a ruffle of cream lace at the cuffs and high collar. The skirt, long and full, was a few shades darker. Her honey- brown, unruly curls were held at the nape of her neck by a claret coloured velvet ribbon. Finally, she took a step forward, unnerved by his scrutiny. "Nick? May I come in?" Profoundly embarassed, Nick stammered, "Yes, yes of course, come in! I was just... You look so lovely..." He pulled her into his embrace, cradling her tenderly, as if she might break with too harsh a touch. They held each other in silence, absorbed in the feel of their bodies' closeness, revelling in the contact once thought lost. Nicholas broke the stillness. Burying his face in her hair, breathing in the glorious scent of her, he murmured, "God help me, Natalie! I've missed you so... I thought I'd lost you forever, that you hated me for what I did to you. When I got your letter I was sure you were going to say you never wanted to see me again. I am so sorry, for everything. I just... I am so sorry." She stepped back, facing him directly and seriously. "Nick, we both have things to be sorry for. I have done and said things to you which are unforgivable..." Nick shook his head, starting to deny her words. She touched her finger to his lips, silencing him. "No, don't argue. Please... Just for tonight - no blame, no apologies, no guilt. After you bring me over, we'll have an awfully long time to decide who is sorriest for what. I don't want to talk about it now. Tonight, I want it to be just us, here and now - no past and no future. Please, Nick?" He nodded, obviously reluctant to drop the subject, but obedient to her wishes. He had to admit that she was right. They would resolve nothing by opening old wounds, and he wanted this to be a night of pleasure for her. They cuddled together companionably on his couch, as they had so often done before. Nick poured champagne for Natalie, and bloodwine for himself. Arranged on the table was a selection of delicacies for her last meal as a mortal. Nick had not forgotten her uneasy appetite, but hoped that she might be tempted at least to taste a few items. While, as a vampire, he had no desire to ingest anything other than blood or bloodwine, he remembered many of the foods he had eaten as a mortal with pleasure. If Natalie were brought across with such memories clear and fresh, she would savour them all the more in centuries to come. For a while they talked, about everything and nothing. Natalie made it clear that she truly wished to be brought across, and that she was aware that it was really the only viable option. While they spoke, she picked at the food before her, tasting nearly everything but eating almost nothing. When Nick asked her how serious her aversion to food had become, she gave him a tired half-smile. "Well, it still tastes nice... but it's hard to swallow anything. I'm kind of looking forward to a liquid diet." Nicholas felt that he would do anything to ease the melancholy in that sad smile. To distract her, he told her stories of flying above the sleeping world, hearing snatches of whispered conversations... of the crystal clarity of winter nights, the slight luminescence of starlight magnified by snow and vampire eyesight to brightest daylight... Of moonlit swimming in tropical seas, warm currents caressing bare skin... She was smiling again, the grin of a child entranced by fairy tales. Nick was filled with joy that he would be able to share such wonders with his beloved. For the first time, he truly felt that this was the right choice for them both. It was getting late, and there were things which must be done and said before the night slipped away. Regretfully, the golden-haired man turned to more serious matters. "Natalie, there is something I have to tell you... I have asked LaCroix to be here tonight, when I bring you across, to make sure I don't take too much. I've fed well, but I don't want to take any chances. After what happened last time, I really don't entirely trust myself. I hope you don't mind." Nat was at once disturbed and aroused by the prospect of having LaCroix present at such an intimate moment... "If... if you want him here... I must confess the thought crossed my mind, but I was afraid you'd think I didn't trust you... Which I do, Nick. I have faith in you. If having LaCroix here will cause problems..." Nick shook his head in answer. She was reassured and touched by what was undoubtedly a sacrifice on the part of both men. After a moment she continued, shyly, "It's a bit odd, though, to think having someone else around..." Nick smiled, relieved. "It'll be all right, Nat. He'll just help me make sure nothing goes wrong. It's only sensible. And... I know this seems like the sort of thing that should be just between us, but you have to understand - among vampires, there's not all that much privacy, really. Within our families, we share things that mortals tend to hide away. We can't help it. The emotions come through in our blood-bond anyway. We can shut it off somewhat, but not altogether..." Natalie looked slightly confused. "The... bond. That's how I can feel when you're near - and LaCroix, for that matter? It's a curious feeling, like there's someone else in my head. I know you've talked about it before, but I guess I didn't really understand." A murmur of disquiet passed through Nick's mind, a brief moment of doubt about his plans. he thought, < You don't understand at all. And you won't until it's too late. But I can't refuse now...> He shook off his unease, and answered, "You'll get used to it. You will always be able to feel the presence of another vampire, though it takes practice to know who and where they are. Your strongest bond will always be with me, and to a lesser degree with LaCroix and the other members of our family. It can be a mixed blessing. But in time you'll learn to control it, along with your other new abilities. Just be patient..." There was a slight noise at the skylight, and LaCroix flew in. His customary black atire was relieved only by a large, round silver brooch at the throat. Nicholas recalled the brooch from that night, the night he had almost taken both Natalie's life and his own. He knew that it was worn as a warning, and a promise: I did not allow her to die then. I will not do so now. The master vampire came to stand over the pair, gesturing for Nicholas to stand. He faced his son, searching Nick's eyes - and their link - intently. After a moment, he nodded in approval. LaCroix moved to sit beside Natalie. He took her hands and kissed them. She turned her eyes to his, hazel matched to ice-blue. "Lucien, am I... am I right to do this?" "Yes, mon ange, you are. I will be here in case I am needed." He reached behind her to find the trailing end of the ribbon confining her honey-brown hair. The bow untied, the unruly curls were released to fall around her face. He stroked her cheek softly. "All will be well, ma p'tite.Have faith." He swept her up as if she were a child. She wrapped her arms around his neck, nestling her head on his shoulder. Standing, he carried her across to Nicholas. The ancient vampire held her close for a moment, savouring the soon-to-be-gone warmth of her, then passed her into Nicholas' arms, kissing her forehead as he did so. He locked eyes and mind momentarily with his son, then turned away. Flying up to the second floor balcony, he walked into the bedroom, not looking back. ********************** (end part 4/6) Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:34 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (5/6) To: FKFIC-L@lists.psu.edu Disclaimers, etc. in part 1 Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit & explicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), stop now. Thank you. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 5/6) by Amie LaRouche Nicholas turned back from watching his father's departure to look down at Natalie for the first time since LaCroix deposited her in his arms. He saw her lucent eyes, wide and trusting, watching him closely. He bent to kiss her - for once without fear of the consequences. Her mouth was soft and lush. She tasted of champagne and strawberries and enchantment... She kissed him timidly at first, afraid that he would pull away, deny her need as he had so often done. A moment, though, and she became bolder, running her tongue across his cool lips. With a gasp, Nick held her yet closer, feeling her soft, hot tongue seeking entrance to his mouth. He parted his lips, allowing her to explore, occasionally making forays of his own. He felt his feeding teeth aching to descend, and fought against the urge. This time, he would keep the vampire under control. He pulled away a moment, searching her face. "Are you quite sure, Natalie?" She was surprised to see that Nick's eyes showed only a few gold flecks. She had a moment of doubt, not of her determination but of his. Perhaps he truly didn't want this? Was he just acting out of a sense of duty, to finish what had begun so disastrously? "Yes, Nick, I want this. I want you, so much! But... what about you? Are you having second thoughts? You don't seem very... excited. Actually, you seem remarkably controlled compared to... the last time we tried this." He smiled, that open, little-boy smile which could always melt her heart. "I *am* more in control... And I *do* want this... " His longing for her hit full- force, then, and his eyes turned suddenly fully amber, before he shut them tightly, turning his face away, regaining his composure. When he looked at her again, his eyes were once again deep blue, but his gaze was intense and his voice husky when he spoke. "But this time, I want to do it right - for both of us. I want to be sure that this bloodsharing is what it should be... and I never want you to doubt that I love you, Natalie. Forever." He stood her on her feet - she held onto him for a moment, not entirely sure her legs would support her. Clearing away the remains of her supper with vampiric speed, he retrieved several bottles of blood from the refrigerator, placing them on the table, in easy reach. He sat down at the right-hand end of the couch, drinking in her beauty as she stood bemused, silhouetted before the fire. Her honey-coloured curls formed a glowing frame around her lovely, expectant face. After a moment he said gently, "Come here, Nat." Natalie found that she could hardly walk, her knees weak with trepidation and desire. The few steps seemed endless, moving voluntarily towards a moment which would change her life beyond recall. Nicholas studied his mortal lover. There was fear in her - he could see it as well as sense it - but it was fear of the unknown, not of him. Her love and trust radiated from her as palpably as the warmth of her body. She stood a moment before him, curious as to his next move. Pulling her onto his lap, holding her tightly, he breathed, "I want to hold you forever..." He could feel the delicious heat of her against his cool skin. They sat for several minutes, revelling in this unprecedented closeness. Nick stroked her cheek, enthralled by its satin perfection. He brushed the curls back from her face. She gasped as he trailed featherlight kisses across her throat, nuzzling and nipping at the pulse point under her ear. Her high collar limited his explorations, so Natalie slowly began to undo the pearl buttons. He watched, rapt, as her soft white skin was revealed. He was captivated by the slight throbbing, imperceptible to a mortal, of the carotid artery. It was becoming harder for him to restrain the vampire. To hold her so close after so long, to feel the heat of her body... He could hear her rising heartrate, smell her perfume mingled with the musk of her arousal. Through their bond he could feel her growing desire, which spurred his own. She captured his lips in a long, fervent kiss, then tilted her head back, baring her neck to his mouth. His kisses were more passionate now, his lips and tongue and teeth a trail of fire across her flesh. At the pulse point, he paused, almost able to taste the nectar which awaited him. His feeding teeth ached. The hunger rose in waves, almost drowning him. The predator within him rose up to take its prey... and was forced back before it could strike. He was not entirely sure whether the thought was his own or his master's - he could feel LaCroix' presence intensely - but he obeyed, pulling away slightly. Natalie whimpered, dismayed, as his mouth was withdrawn. "Nick, no! Don't stop... Oh god, I've waited so long for this... Please, please, take me, bring me across..." She turned to look him full in the eyes, shuddering with anticipation as she saw the change wash over him. "Do it now, Nick! Please, my love..." His voice was rough with desire. "I love you, Natalie. We will be together, forever." "Forever..." She lifted her head again, exposing her throat to his sharp teeth. Reverently, he bowed his head, nuzzling the skin over the pulsing artery. Gentle as he could be, he slipped his fangs into her flesh. Slowly at first, then greedily, he drank the honey-and-roses essence of her, the heat of her blood almost burning his cold mouth.For the second time, he saw flashes of her life, felt her joy and sorrow and pain, her courage and her fears... He carefully shielded her from the worst of his own experiences, feeding her the most beautiful images he could conjure from his eight centuries of life. He could not protect her entirely, but it was enough. Her awed ecstasy was clear in her blood, this time unmingled with horror. He heard her pulse slowing, slowing... her heart labouring to beat... At the last possible moment, he withdrew his teeth from her throat, licking the two small wounds to close them. His beautiful Natalie, his mortal angel, lay dying in his arms. Now she must be persuaded to come back to him. She was at the gateway between life and death, where she must make the choice to return or to go into the light which awaited her. For a brief moment, his traitor heart tempted him to let her go - to save her from this darkness, in spite of herself. Only for a moment, before he pushed the thought away. He became aware of a movement. Looking up, he saw LaCroix in the kitchen, drinking blood directly from a bottle - a most uncharacteristic action, though hardly surprising. Their eyes met, gold to gold. LaCroix came to stand beside his protege. Nicholas began to speak gently to Natalie, calling her to come back to him, to live in eternity with him... He pleaded with her to reject the light, to come back to her body. After a minute, when she showed no signs of returning, he looked up, terror-stricken. "LaCroix, help me call her back! Please... I can't lose her..." Their voices joined, urging her to come back, not to step into the light and be lost to them. Nick felt the faintest of motions, the slightest indrawn breath. He tore open his own wrist, letting the blood fall into her slightly- opened mouth. She stirred, then with lightning speed grasped his forearm, pulling it to her lips and suckling voraciously. Nick let her feed until he began to feel weak from bloodloss. She fought him as he pulled his arm away, but accepted the bottle of blood which LaCroix handed her in substitute. Draining it in one draught, she dropped it, reaching for the next. After three bottles, she slowed. On the fourth, she stopped, amber eyes looking about her, bewildered. "Nick? Nick, am I...? I guess I must be... So it worked, huh? You brought me over..." Dropping her face in her hands, she began to cry. Her head jerked up after a moment, though, as the vampire within her reacted to the smell of blood. It was on her hands and her face... Somehow she knew it was her own. "It's just bloodtears, Nat. It's all right. You'll be fine... You're safe. Shhh..." Nicholas rocked his daughter in his arms, holding her firmly as she cried out the shock of the change. He felt her confusion, her fear, and her bewildered joy. To his surprise and relief, he sensed no real regret for her choice. Natalie cried steadily for several minutes, then lifted her head from her hands, bloodtears streaking her face. "I... I love you, Nick. Thank you..." She turned to LaCroix, saying, "Thank you, Lucien. For everything." She held out her hand to him. He took it and kissed the palm tenderly. The ancient vampire surreptitiously licked a few drops of blood from her skin, exercising his considerable self-control so as not to react visibly to what he found there. She tasted of the aftermath of her passionate pleasure in the bloodsharing, of her current confusion... and of arousal. He could feel it in their link as well - her desire to make love to her new master was almost as urgent as her initial need for blood. Only long practice at denying her needs was restraining her from ravishing Nicholas on the spot. LaCroix kissed her hand again, holding it in his as he looked down at his new granddaughter. "You are most welcome, my dear." He looked significantly at Nicholas. "Mon fils, I am certain that Natalie would be more comfortable upstairs. Goodnight, children." Without another word, he flew out through the skylight. He paused just outside, however, waiting until Nicholas had carried his new daughter into the bedroom before re-entering the loft. LaCroix could not bring himself to leave, to end this evening without experiencing its conclusion. He knew Natalie well enough to realise that she would be uncomfortable if she knew that he was still present. She would not understand... not yet. Accordingly, he damped down that part of his mind which was linked to hers. At any rate, she did not yet have the experience to positively identify his presence. The ancient vampire could not have counted the nights spent vicariously enjoying the lovemaking of his children - together or with others. Many times he had been an active participant as well, particularly in the first few decades after his favourite was brought across, before Nicholas had truly begun to reject the gift of immortality. Even after his son turned away from him, refusing except on rare occasions to continue their liaisons, Nicholas had seldom shut him out of their link when he made love to Janette. It was as if the love and desire he still felt for his master could not be suppressed entirely. LaCroix could hear soft sighs, murmurred endearments as the two upstairs began their mutual explorations. He could feel their desire, unbearably intense after six years of frustration. In addition, Natalie was discovering that the libido of a fledgeling was almost as voracious as her appetite for blood... His hands ran across his own body as he responded to the increasingly intense sensations he was receiving. In his imagination, he saw what he felt - hands and mouths gliding across skin... He felt Nicholas stroke the satin- soft belly of his lover, marvelling at the texture... the jolt of pleasure as Natalie's mouth closed around his nipple, fangs drawing twin pinpricks of blood, the rich taste filling her senses... her moans as her breasts were caressed and sucked in turn... the slight shock, the scintilla of fear as Nicholas rolled her onto her front, pinning her legs with his, holding both her wrists above her head with one hand... her shiver of pleasure as he ran his fingernails along her spine, followed closely by his tongue... When he used his fangs to scratch small cuts in the tender skin of her back and neck, licking at the wounds, it was as much as he could do to hold her. LaCroix could hear Natalie's voice, pleading with her lover to free her, to let her touch him... whimpering with frustrated desire. All the while, his evil son continued to lick at the scratches he was inflicting, caressing her back and ass, his hand occasionally slipping as if by accident between her legs... Finally, when she was almost silent, mad with longing, he released her... In a moment, Natalie had pushed him back, and placed herself astride him... The wave of sensation as their bodies joined nearly sent all three over the edge... There was a moment of stillness, as each struggled to hold back the tide. Natalie began to move, slowly, luxuriating in the feeling of being filled with each stroke... Through their bond, she shared Nick's experience - and without recognising it, LaCroix' as well - in a spiral of ever-increasing sensation... As her orgasm swept through her, she struck unerringly for the artery in her lover's neck. Moments later, the circle was closed as Nick drank from her in turn, their passion and love blending, becoming one single entity for long moments... until, slowly, they withdrew their fangs and their minds, settling almost imperceptibly back into their separate existences. Below, Lucien LaCroix was swept along on the wave of sensation from his children. At the peak, he sank his teeth into his own wrist. With the intensity the vicarious experience added to his own climax, he could almost forget that the blood he drank was his own... Minutes later, he was in the kitchen again, downing bottle after bottle of blood. He knew that his hunger was only partly physical. Much of it came from the emptiness he felt as he considered the two who now lay entwined peacefully upstairs. As satisfying as such experiences could be in most ways, he had forgotten how they reminded him that he was, in truth, alone. ("What is it you want?" "What I have always wanted. Companionship.") Always and forever, he was alone. ********************** (end part 5/6) Return-Path: Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 15:14:33 +1200 Reply-To: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz Sender: Forever Knight TV show stories Comments: Authenticated sender is From: Bastian & Amie Subject: What Dreams May Come (6/6) To: FKFIC-L@lists.psu.edu Disclaimers, etc. in part 1 Nick/Nat/LaCroix interaction. Implicit sexuality. So, if you're under your local minimum age for reading such material (often 18), you have been warned. Thank you. I'd appreciate any comments. Please send them to: a.larouche@ext.canterbury.ac.nz. Thanks. ********************** What Dreams May Come (part 6/6) by Amie LaRouche LaCroix sat in the black leather armchair, drinking this time from a wineglass. His hunger was sufficiently assuaged, but he sought comfort in the bloodwine. He was lonely... so achingly lonely. It all rose before him - the centuries spent mourning Fleur, regretting his betrayal of Divia (necessary though it was), the constantly renewed pain of his beloved Nicholas' rejection of his love and his gift of immortality... The old heartsickness welled up within him, threatening to engulf him again in darkness, the darkness in which he cloaked himself to hide from an endless, uncaring eternity. Nick sensed his father's distress as he lay beside Natalie, watching her sleep peacefully in his arms. He carefully disentangled himself, soothing her back to sleep before she even became aware of waking. Dressing in his usual black pyjamas, he flew down to speak to his master. So wrapped in thought was the ancient vampire that he did not notice as Nicholas landed lightly beside his chair, for once discarding the unnecessary formality of walking down the stairs. He jumped, snarling, eyes flashing amber when he felt Nick's hand laid softly on his shoulder. "What do you want?" Nick's eyes were gentle and blue... He regarded his father with concern. "Nothing. I... I was worried about you. I knew this would be hard for you, but I didn't realise... LaCroix, you love her, don't you? I could feel it..." LaCroix glanced away, responding harshly, "I will go tomorrow night. I will leave you to be with *your* Natalie until I have conquered this. I had planned... I had planned to stay in contact, to be of some help in her training, but I can see now that would not be wise." He looked up at his son, eyes once again ice-blue. "Do not tell her why. Say only that I was already intending to move on. That at least is true." He stood to leave. "LaCroix! Don't go, please... " LaCroix glared at his son, challenging him to provide a reason for this delay. "I need you... I need your experience and wisdom..." Nick smiled wryly, "No- one has more experience in dealing with difficult fledgelings. And Natalie would be devastated if you left. She has come to depend on you." Now Nick looked away, struggling with his own feelings of resentment, fear... and hope. "Oh, hell... She's begun to love you, LaCroix. It scares me, but I can't take it away from her. I swore an oath: that she will have whatever she needs, whatever the cost. And she needs you. Please stay with us." Joy flared briefly in LaCroix' heart at Nick's words, but reason prevailed. He would not torture himself by staying only for Natalie's sake. If his son was only willing to tolerate his presence in fulfilment of his vow, that was not acceptable. Natalie was adorable, but he could store her in that far corner of his heart where he hid away lost loves... But Nicholas, his Nicholas... No. He could not stay in close contact with his son, feeling the resentment, the centuries of hatred. Better to move on. Perhaps this time he could bring himself to stay away. "No, Nicholas. I must go. Perhaps I will look you up... someday." He noted his son's crestfallen expression, and added a sarcastic bite to his next words. "Is this not what you have always wanted? To be free of me? Not to have me 'interfering' in your life? Well, now you have it. I will go. You have your Natalie, and an eternity to be together. She will soon get over any little infatuation she may feel for me... You have her! Only give me the world, and we shall be done with one another, Nicholas. Goodbye." He flew to the balcony, pausing for one last look at his golden-haired child. He felt the last glimmers of light fading from his soul as he did so. Soon, all would be darkness, within as well as without... With speed even LaCroix could barely follow, Nick landed beside him, grasping his arms. "Please, LaCroix... Stay!" The younger vampire's distress was obvious, and genuine. "Father, I beg you... I don't want you to go! Not after so long, not like this. We were just beginning to heal the old wounds... I want you to stay for *me*. I need you." He released LaCroix' arms, hands moving to unbutton his shirt collar. He pulled back the black fabric, exposing his smooth, white throat to his father's gaze. "Please, mon maitre, let me show you?" LaCroix searched Nicholas' face, looking for any signs of mockery. He found none. In his bond with his son he could feel only love and concern, and (could it truly be?) a rekindling desire. LaCroix felt the change sweep over him as he stepped closer. Nicholas' eyes, blue and trusting, met LaCroix' amber ones. Nick lifted his face to his father's and they kissed, briefly, tenderly, before the ancient vampire struck with lightning speed at the artery in his son's invitingly bared neck. In his beloved's blood he found... not the adoration which had once been there, which had been withdrawn in anger so many centuries past, but a wish for reconcilliation, and a tacit admission that there was still love between them. The rage was still strong, but tempered by Nicholas' dawning realisation that he was not entirely a victim, but an active antagonist in their perpetual feud - that he had sought out his master as surely as LaCroix had followed him, and caused as much pain as he had received. Withdrawing his fangs before he depleted his already tired son too much, the ancient vampire stood a moment deep in thought. Nicholas waited silently, feeling the conflict raging within his father, knowing that LaCroix needed time to process the feelings in the blood. Even knowing as he did that this would be a temporary truce, that true peace with his son was most likely impossible, LaCroix allowed himself to imagine the possibility of staying... There would be a few years, at most, of concord, before Nicholas once again rejected him. Such events had happened before, ending inevitably in rancour... but perhaps, just perhaps, they might contrive to walk away from this latest episode with less damage. If not friends, at least they might not be enemies. LaCroix opened his eyes at last. He spoke softly, almost haltingly. "Very well, mon fils, I will stay. Subject to Natalie's approval, of course." Nicholas' smile of relief and delight seemed to light the room, and began to melt the chill which still gripped LaCroix' heart. "Well," he responded briskly, dancing away from actually discussing such a delicate subject, "I suppose we'd best start making plans... for the three of us." Upstairs, Natalie stirred slightly in her sleep. In her dream, she walked unknown streets, but felt no fear. She had faith in her own powers, and in her protectors... the two vampires whose love was her very world. It was a good dream, and would be a better awakening. ********************** (end part 6/6)