Date: Sat, 6 Apr 1996 10:58:34 +0200 From: Marina Bailey Subject: Wonderful Misapp., 1/6 I suppose you could label this 'yet another baby story', although when I started it, not one baby story had been posted yet. I actually got the idea a couple of months back while watching the Highlander episode "Mortal Sins". I felt sure that Nat wouldn't do to Nick what Anne did to Duncan. That's how the story started. Somewhere along the line the emphasis changed slightly to consider families (vampire and otherwise). Please note there is a tiny (I mean minute) spoiler for "Human Factor". Insert standard disclaimers here. Comments eagerly awaited! Send them to tmar@fast.co.za. WONDERFUL MISAPPREHENSION By Marina Bailey with thanks to Wendy Tillis Natalie stared at the test results for what seemed like hours. She simply stared, unable to believe what she saw in front of her. Finally, she shook her head and slammed the pages back onto her kitchen table. "No. It's a mistake. It must be a mistake. I'll do it myself tomorrow." Tomorrow came, and Natalie repeated the test that her doctor had given her. Same results. Same *mistake*. Same tightening in her chest when she wondered what she was going to do. Same fear that this would push Nick away from her. How could she have done this, she wondered? What had she been thinking? But Natalie knew that at the time, she *hadn't* been thinking, simply reacting. Reacting to the emotional ups and downs she'd been forced to endure. She'd heard of people who, after suffering a loss, or almost suffering one, went out and found someone else, someone to offer short-term comfort, someone with whom to affirm life. But she had never thought that she would do it. And certainly, she had never thought that this life affirmation would result in... life. It had been that night Nick had scared her, the night after he had nearly killed her at Vanderwal's house. She had been unable to bear the thought of yet another setback, of the look she had seen in his eyes, of her fear. Her fear of the vampire, yes, but also her fear of losing the man she loved to the beast. Her fear of dying, of being dinner. But to rush into the arms of another man... What had made her run do it, what? Natalie buried her face in her hands. And, most of all, what had made her old friend from medical school call her that very night? Natalie, always the scientist, would normally have called it a coincidence. But now she knew better. Perhaps these things were never coincidences. He was a good friend, someone she had enjoyed spending time with while at medical school. He had been blessed with a lovely fiancee and she... She had been blessed with some or other boyfriend whose name she could no longer remember. Now he was newly divorced (his wife left him to 'find herself', how cliche could you get) and she... she was in love with a vampire. And for one brief evening, they had tried to forget their troubles in each other. It had worked, too, until the morning. They had looked at each other and admitted what had happened. Remained friends, even. Promised to call when in each others' neighbourhoods. Natalie knew she would keep that promise, and so would he. Only he might be getting a call a bit sooner than he'd bargained for. Natalie pulled her hair back, tied it, and reached for the phone, composing her speech. "Remember that night we spent together? Well, you're going to be a daddy. Congratulations." No. Too flippant. "That night we spent together... had an unexpected result." Yeah, that was it. Wait for him to figure it out. That was... Someone behind her. "What's up?" asked a voice behind her, and Natalie suppressed the urge to jump up and smack him one. "Nick! Don't do that!" Nick was grinning. "Sorry." "I'll bet you are. What can I do for you?" That was it, immerse yourself in work. Keep it professional. It hadn't been as much of a setback as they had feared, but that didn't change anything for Natalie. There was still a little problem... Nick stopped grinning and frowned at her. "Your expression... Nat, what is it?" Natalie knew she'd blown it. She had never been very good at hiding her feelings from Nick. They had just both pretended. And now she didn't know if she should tell him. But even if she didn't, she wasn't going to be able to hide it forever. Better just to get it over with. She turned to him. "Nick, I..." She took a deep breath. This was so *hard*. "I guess there's no easy way to tell you this..." Nick stiffened where he stood. "You're leaving." "No! No, I'm not leaving, I..." Her shoulders slumped. "It's just... I'm pregnant." Nick was pale, but he went ever paler. "What?" "I'm going to have a baby, Nick." She thought that if she had staked him through the heart, he wouldn't have looked as pained. Nick simply stared at her. Finally, he managed to speak. "Do you love him?" "No." It was so easy to say. "No, I don't love him." She hoped he would hear the words neither of them dared to speak: 'I love you.' "But, then..." Natalie would have said anything, asked him why he ran off to Janette or the Raven whenever his desires got to be too much. But that would have hurt him, and she had had enough of hurting for now. So instead she told him about her feelings after that night at Vanderwal's, about a coincidence that probably wasn't. And all the time Nick just stood there, taking it all in. "Are you going to tell him?" he finally asked. Nat was surprised that he didn't ask when, where or how it had happened. She shook her head. "I don't know. It isn't fair not to, but we aren't going to be together..." "You should tell him, Nat." It was more an order than advice. "You should tell him." Then he turned, and... "Wait! Nick!" Nick stopped in the doorway, but she could see he didn't want to. "Nick... what does this mean for us?" He only looked at her sadly. "I don't know." So, Natalie did what she had been planning, and called. And gave her little speech. And the reaction was... unexpected. "Nat, I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken. I can't have kids." "What?" "My doctor told me, years ago. I think that's part of the reason *she* left me. Because I couldn't give her children." "N... no," protested Nat. "There must be some other explanation. I haven't..." She swallowed, trying to get the words out. "I didn't... you were the first one in... a long time." "If you want blood tests, fine, but I think you'll be disappointed." A long pause, and Natalie knew that he just was not going to believe her. He didn't *want* kids, didn't want some complication. It was understandable - he'd been told something, and now he refused to believe that what he'd been told was wrong. "Nat, I know you think I'll make a good father, but my advice is to tell the guy who really is the father." Natalie closed her eyes, holding onto the phone so tight her hand hurt. He thought she had chosen him - wealthy doctor, eligible man - to provide a child with security, a suitable role model. She tried to continue. "How... how could you even think I would do that?" He kept up the litany. "Nat, I'm sorry." "Okay. Fine." She slammed the phone down. Another friendship terminated. Natalie began to shake, repeating, "Okay, fine. No problem. I can handle this." And then she burst into tears. Tracy Vetter looked into the morgue to see if Natalie was there. They needed the autopsy report on a possible suicide. Natalie was there all right, crying, and saying, "Okay, fine. No problem. I can handle this. It's fine." "Nat?" Natalie was obviously startled. "Trace?" She wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, it's the autopsy report, right? Here it is." She handed it to the detective. Tracy took the report, but didn't open it. "Nat, what is it?" Why did she feel that she could confide in this woman? Tracy was irritating, young and endlessly perky, but she was also kind, compassionate and wanted to be Natalie's friend. Right now Nat needed a friend, even if it was Tracy Vetter. "It's just, my life seems to be crashing down around me. Tonight was the end." "Why, what happened?" "I just found out I'm pregnant." Tracy's face lit up. "That's great! Congratulations!" Natalie looked at her, stunned. "Great? You think it's great?" And then Tracy said something that made Natalie see that she and Nick were not doing such a great job with their little pretense of friendship. "Yeah, I think it's wonderful! Okay, so Nick probably has no idea how to look after babies, but I'm sure it'll come. You just have to work on him a bit." Natalie looked up. "What? What about Nick?" Tracy looked at Natalie conspiratorially. "Nat, I hate to say this, but the two of you are terrible at hiding your feelings. Everybody in the precinct knows about the two of you." Natalie's face went paler than it had been. "They... they *know*?" "Sure. And we don't get why it's such a big secret. Neither of you is married." Natalie wondered how come the conversation was now about her and Nick. Tracy spoke again. "Nat? Why is it such a big secret?" That brought Natalie out of it. "I really don't wanna talk about it anymore, okay? I'll be fine now." "Okay." Tracy bounced towards the door, and Nat was just about to call her back and tell her not to say anything to Nick, when the morgue phone rang. As Natalie answered it, Tracy made her escape. Tracy, of course, wasted no time in running to Nick with her congratulations. "What?" he asked when Tracy's effusive greeting (and hug!) was upon him. "I think it's great, Nick, really, but you should go down to the morgue. I think Natalie needs you. Probably got parenting jitters. I mean, this is the first one for both of you, right?" Nick suddenly realised what Tracy thought. And that Natalie hadn't said anything to the contrary. "You think... I'm the father?" he asked, shocked. "Oh, don't play the innocent with me, Nick. I'm your partner. Everybody in the precinct knows about you and Natalie." She turned to retrieve the folder containing the autopsy report, and when she turned back, Nick was gone. Tracy proceeded to read the autopsy report, smiling happily because Nick had (she thought) taken her advice. When Nick appeared at the door of the morgue, Natalie's tears had long since dried. She looked up, with an expression of almost... amusement on her face. "Let me guess. Tracy." "Yeah. Tracy." A very long, awkward pause. "Nat, why... I mean, did you...?" "Why didn't I correct Tracy's misapprehension? Because she rushed out of here too quickly. Did I call the father? Yes. And guess what, Nick? He doesn't believe me. He says he can't have kids, but we can do blood tests after the baby's born to make sure. He doesn't believe the baby is his!" Her tone of voice betrayed her anger and hurt. And Nick, not wanting to ask, but knowing he had to, ventured, "Are you sure... I mean, is there not some other explanation?" "Like what? Someone else? Want a list of who I've slept with since I've known you, is that it? It's a real short list, Nick. It has one name on it. Just like your list," she added. And stopped. She hadn't meant to bring that up. Nick looked away, and Natalie saw the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring Janette into this." She threw up her hands. "It doesn't matter. The father is out of it. I'm not going to put myself or my child through blood tests, court cases... I won't do that. I'll do all this myself." And Nick suddenly had the craziest idea. "Maybe you don't need to do it by yourself, Natalie. I'll help you." "What?" "Think about it. Who better than me? I mean, when people find out, they'll automatically assume I'm the father, the way Tracy did." "Nick, I... I couldn't do that to you." Nick actually grinned. "Of course you can." He hugged her tightly. "Don't you see, Nat? I've always wanted to have kids, a normal life. And now... now I can." He cringed inwardly at how selfish that sounded... but it was very true. "But that's not why, Nat. I want to be there for you. Let me be there for you." Natalie looked up into those blue eyes she loved. "Why, Detective Knight, people will say we're in love." "And they'd be right," he smiled, kissing her. Not on the forehead. Not on the cheek. On the lips. And it felt right, as it had that day when she'd brought him back from the hospital after he'd been shot. Natalie put her arms around him and just held on. Nicholas had been terrified that LaCroix would do something to hurt Nat and the baby, but, surprisingly, his master had stayed away. Nick knew that LaCroix was aware of the situation - Tracy would have told Vachon, Vachon would have told... But his master always knew what he was doing, anyway. And he hadn't said a word about it. A month passed. Two. Three. Finally Nick could stand it no longer and confronted LaCroix. Who merely smiled that knowing smile of his and said, "You're not going to deny you love her, are you, Nicholas?" Too much had happened for Nick to deny it. LaCroix knew how Natalie had helped at the hospital when Nick had been shot - he probably even knew that they had gotten close again. "LaCroix, if you hurt her I'll kill you." LaCroix had, despite himself, come to respect the doctor. What he had said to her that night in Nick's apartment had been true. They had made quite a good team, protecting Nick. It really had been rather... fun. And lately LaCroix's relationship with his son had been improving as well. Nick didn't fully trust him yet, but the hate, the struggle he'd felt from Nick for the last couple of centuries was ebbing. Nick hadn't returned to him, but he no longer ran from him, either. And if, by sparing Natalie and Nick's other mortal playthings he could win back his child, LaCroix was willing to do it. "No, I won't hurt her, Nicholas." Nick patently didn't believe him. "What has changed for you?" His master merely looked at him with those ice-blue eyes and said in French, "Many things have changed, Nicolas. I will never forget our agreement. I have merely suspended it... for now." Nick knew that LaCroix was telling the truth. "LaCroix, I swear..." "Yes, yes. You are a tad too predictable." He turned away, dismissing his child from his thoughts. Nick took the hint and left. Natalie was down at the precinct - supposedly delivering a report. But instead, she and Tracy were oohing over something... Nick stepped closer to see. It was a really tiny, crocheted baby jacket, in pink. Nick's face formed into his famous 'I don't know what this is' frown. "Why is it pink?" Tracy's happy face turned to him, regarding him somewhat oddly. "I think it's gonna be a girl!" she enthused. Natalie merely smiled happily. "Tracy made it. Isn't it cute?" "Looks like clothes for a doll." Nick picked up the tiny garment, which scared the hell out of him. "Are you sure this will fit the baby?" Natalie and Tracy exchanged knowing glances, and Natalie took it upon herself to explain to this baby-ignorant male. "Nick, babies are very tiny when they're born. It'll fit fine. Promise." Then she got up. "Here's the autopsy report. As we suspected, strangulation." She continued to go on about the case, but Nick was hardly listening. He just kept staring at the garment. Babies were a foreign, scary thought - the human way of living forever. He had not had much contact with babies, even though he had always wanted some. And now he had volunteered to be the child's... father. That idea was more scary than LaCroix. He wondered how he would ever do it. He snapped out of it to find Tracy clicking her fingers in front of his face. "Nick?" "Uh... sorry." "The case? Our suspect?" "Yeah. Right. The suspect. Let's go." He kissed Natalie on the cheek. "See you later." As time went by Nick got less scared of baby clothes... but now he had to put up with questions and congratulations from everyone in the precinct. Everyone in the precinct seemed to think that Nick would make a wonderful father, and said so. He would come in to work and find wrapped packages on his desk. He would open his locker to find presents. He even found a couple on the front seat of the caddy. "Nat?" said Nick as he walked into the morgue with yet another armload of gifts. Natalie was just coming out of the cooler, wearing something that, despite her condition, was *still* too big for her. And as she turned sideways to close the door, Nick marveled at the sight. Life. Human life, there. Nick swallowed against the sudden tightness in his throat, the wave of guilt that washed over him. Humans could create life, small replicas of themselves... Vampires could only take life. He would never have the opportunity to pass on something of himself, not as long as he remained a vampire. Natalie caught the look, the guilt emanating from him in waves. "Nick, what is it?" Nick wiped a blood tear from his eye. "Nothing, it's..." He took her hand. "I was just... thinking. About how humans can create life, can revitalise each generation. And vampires... we go on and on, stagnating. Taking life. I'll never create life as you have, Nat. Never." Natalie had often tried to get Nick to feel the baby, but he had always refused. She knew what he was scared of, but how was he going to support her if he was scared even to touch her in that way? Now she took his hand and put it against her stomach. He tried to pull away, but she held on. "Now you listen to me, Nick. I don't want to hear that. We are going to find a cure, and..." She hesitated momentarily. "And we will have a child of our own. Do you hear me?" Nick said nothing, and Nat was about to get angry when he looked at her with such an expression of... wonder?... on his face. "What is it?" "I felt... the baby moved." "Well, of course she did, silly." "She?" "Tracy keeps calling it she. I guess I picked up the habit. We can always find out, the next scan I go for." Blood tears splashed onto Natalie's white coverall. "Nat... you want me to go with you." Not even a question. "Yeah. Yeah, I want you to come with me." Nick said nothing, merely nodded as he touched Nat and her baby. He was still rather overcome with emotion when he went back to the car. As he got in there was a rushing sound, and another vampire appeared next to him. "Vachon." The younger vampire said, without preamble, "Tracy's been on at me for weeks, so here." He handed Nick a present, wrapped with baby paper. Nick stared. "Not you, too." Vachon shrugged. "Tracy's really happy for you. She talks about you, Natalie and the baby all the time." A pause. "I'd watch her, if I were you. She might just decide to plan a wedding without telling you." Nick grinned. "Yeah, she just might." "So... you like this idea, this baby thing?" It was Nick's turn to shrug. "I was frightened at first. A bit resentful. But... Natalie needs me." "And it doesn't bother you, that..." "That she was with someone else?" "Yeah." It *did* bother Nick... or it had. He had long ago let go of those feelings, however. "I can't blame her... I'd disappointed her one too many times. But I can forgive, if not forget." "Yeah, forgetting's the trick. The evidence will always be there." This made Nick a little angry. "She's not *evidence*. She's a baby. What happened isn't her fault!" Vachon grinned in that devastating way that he had. "I thought so." "What?" "You do love it, the baby." Nick knew he'd been set up, to make him see this. "Did Tracy put you up to this?" Javier Vachon grinned again. Tracy had been worried that Nick, whom she thought was the father, was not taking an interest in 'his' child. But all Vachon said to Nick was, "Yeah. It worked, huh?" "It worked. I have no choice but to love someone who's a part of Natalie." As he said it, Nick knew it to be true. And now he knew that he would do everything correctly from now on. Scans. Doctor's appointments. Lamaze. Labour. Midnight (midday?) feeds. Diapers. Everything. He turned to say as much to Vachon... but the Spanish vampire had flown off again. The doctor who did the scans was pleased to see Nick - he could tell. The previous times, Nat had come alone and the doctor had wondered if she was going to be a single mother, if the father was squeamish, or one of those male chauvinists who thought that babies and everything to do with them were women's territory. Natalie introduced them very carefully. "Ah... Doctor Brooks, this is Nick Knight." She had practised saying 'Nick Knight', 'Detective Knight', 'my boyfriend, Nick'... everything she could think of. And in the end it was easiest just to say his name. They shook hands. "Do come in," said the doctor. Once they were inside, the doctor explained everything to Nick... who turned a little paler at some of the details. Natalie smiled, thinking that she really should make him a protein drink that tasted better, if only to thank him for putting himself through this... Thirteenth century throwback that he was. Nick held Natalie's hand as they looked at the baby. He could hardly believe it - a tiny human life flickered there. A part of Natalie that would go on forever... And if he did a good job, maybe he would have something to contribute, as well. Nick came out of the ozone to hear the doctor repeating the question. "Mr. Knight?" "Uh... sorry, what?" "I said, do you want to know the sex of the baby?" Nick smiled at Natalie. In the car on the way over they had made a pact: if Tracy was right, she got to be godmother. "Sure," Nick said, as Natalie nodded. "It's a girl." "Yes!" Nat grinned, looking at Nick's face. Tracy was often a handful to have around, and now... Well, they had made the pact. Tracy would be godmother. Natalie wanted to ask Captain Stonetree to be godfather, as she had always liked him, and Nick had agreed. They knew he'd be very flattered indeed. The doctor finished up and handed Nick some pictures from the scan. Pictures of a baby not yet born. Nick asked Tracy the next day. "Of course I'll do it! You and Nat are good friends of mine!" she enthused. Nick mentally shook his head, but to Tracy he only said, "Good." "So, you're feeling better about all this baby stuff now?" Nick sighed. "You and Vachon must really start minding your own business." "I just... I want you to be happy. You always struck me as a loner. I'm glad this happened to you, because you *need* a family, I can tell." Nick squeezed Tracy's hand. "We'll be fine. Thank you." They had been talking as they came into the precinct, and Nick stopped at his desk to find... yet another gift. But this one had a card emblazoned with the logo of... the Raven. It had to be from LaCroix. Even Tracy was looking at it oddly. Nick said nothing to her as he picked it up and read the card. "A promise kept, L.L.," was all it said. Inside was a tiny baby bonnet, in black. Nick put it straight back into the package, closing it again... but Tracy had seen. "Who gave you that?" "An... old friend of mine." "From the Raven club?" Nick had no way of knowing if Tracy knew that the Nightcrawler was a vampire. Vachon had said that Tracy only knew about himself and Screed, but still. And, he had to say something. "Yeah. The Nightcrawler, they call him. We don't really get on too well." Tracy shivered; she'd seen LaCroix. Someone had pointed him out to her at the club and told her he was the infamous Nightcrawler. "He's kinda..." "Scary?" asked Nick. "Yeah. Scary eyes. He just glanced at me and it felt like he could see everything in my eyes." Nick merely nodded. "He likes to frighten people." "How did you meet him?" "Through an... acquaintance." Tracy seemed to accept that. "Still, he's a bit weird, wouldn't you say? Giving someone a black baby bonnet." Nick shrugged. "It's his favourite colour." And mood. And attitude to life. And the colour of his soul, he would have liked to add. He knew he'd never show the gift to Natalie. And as Tracy saw him put it under a pile of papers in the bottom drawer of his desk, she knew too. Eight months had passed, and things had not slowed down for the unusual couple. People *still* brought gifts in to the office - every day, it seemed like. Nick had even gotten one from Urs, of all people. She had given it to him at the Raven, stammering slightly over it. "Uh, Nick... Vachon says you're doing this for Natalie, and to treat this like it's yours, so..." She held out a small pair of booties. "I made these." Nick was stunned. "You *made* them?" "My mother taught me how to crochet when I was young, so..." She faltered. Nick let her off the hook. "Thank you, Urs." Urs merely smiled and went off, but Nick had other things to do. One was to ask... well, more like order... Vachon to come and help him move all Natalie's things to the loft. He had decided that Natalie would not be alone when the baby came, nor would she be alone in the last, difficult month. After much discussion, Nat had finally agreed. She hadn't looked too happy at first, but she understood why. "You want me to WHAT?" asked the Spanish vampire. "Help me and Tracy move Natalie's things." "Why me?" "It was..." Vachon chimed in at the same time, "Tracy's idea. Yeah. Well, okay." Natalie's apartment didn't hold that much stuff, and so it didn't take very long. As they looked around Nick's loft - which now looked far more homey and less dungeon-like - Natalie would have liked to offer Vachon a drink. She knew that Nick kept a bottle of the 'regular stuff' around for emergencies, but Tracy wasn't supposed to know that she knew about vampires. Well, she could just put the blood in coffee cups, and no one would notice. "Anyone for coffee?" she asked. Nick and Vachon both declined and Tracy accepted. Natalie shoved her out of the kitchen area so that she could pour the blood - two types - into the coffee cups before making some coffee - two types (decaf for herself) - for the two humans present. "Here ya go!" Nat handed Nick the cow blood, and Vachon the human blood. Both vampires immediately knew what was in their cups, and drank. Tracy stared, not touching her own beverage. She would have to ask Vachon about this later. Definitely. But right now... "You two are great together; why don't you get married?" Nick and Natalie merely looked at each other. Nick would have married Natalie in a second... if he'd been mortal. But he wasn't going to condemn her to a life with him in that way. At least this way she always had a way out... if she wanted one. He would always be with her and the baby, but he still felt sufficient angst over his nature that he thought she might one day get fed up. So marriage was not an option. "Well?" asked Tracy. Natalie tried to think of something really quickly. "Well, Trace, the truth is that Nick and I made a pact that..." Nick picked up the cue. "Only love would keep us together. The other stuff is only a, er, societal convention." Tracy shook her head, sighing in an exaggerated manner. "If I didn't know better, I'd say the two of you had been teenagers in the 60's." Nick grinned openly at that. "I hear the 60's were a blast. Especially Woodstock." Vachon's eyes narrowed, as if to say, 'Watch it!' But he didn't actually say anything. Natalie was feeling rather tired as she rinsed out the cups in the sink away from Tracy's eager eyes. Nick caught her pale face and ushered the guests out. "Natalie needs her rest, I think." Tracy nodded frantically. "I understand." She pulled Vachon out by his jacket. "Come on." When they were gone, Natalie sighed heavily and turned back to Nick. "Thank you. I feel like I'm going to explode. I *have* to lie down." She looked warily at the stairs leading to the bedroom, but before she could attempt to climb them, Nick lifted her into his arms. "Hold tight, we'll go flying." And in a blink she was lying on his bed. Nick was about to go back downstairs to sleep on the couch when Natalie stopped him. "No. Stay here with me, please, Nick. Hold me. I need to feel secure." "Okay." He lay on the bed next to her, holding her close to him... Throughout the day, Nick kept waking up as the baby moved. It was a miracle to him. What was even more of a miracle was that Natalie hadn't left him, hadn't decided that a vampire was not a good role model for a child. She was grateful for his help, for all he did... she loved him. And, heaven help him, he loved her. So much that it often hurt to think about it. Nick was contemplating this when Natalie's eyes opened. He looked down at her and said it, just blurted it out. "Nat, I love you." Natalie was shocked. Nick had always intimated that he loved her, said it in other ways... but never this way. There was only one response to something like that. "I love you, Nick. I love you." They kissed, then, and it wasn't a companionable, friendly kiss. The undertones were there: repressed love and desire. Nick felt enveloped in Natalie's warmth, totally accepted by both her and the baby girl inside. Natalie moved suddenly. "Uh... I think this is it." Nick pulled away from her quickly. "What?" He got up off the bed at vampiric speeds. "Have to get your things, get the keys... No, wait, I'll take you, it'll be faster..." Natalie interrupted as she continued to lie there. "I'm not going yet. The last thing I want is to spend hours lying in hospital. We can go when it's a bit further along." At Nick's look of skepticism she added, "Besides, it's still daytime." That stopped him short. "Oh. Yeah." He looked a bit lost. "Nat, are you sure...?" Nat smiled - Nick looked very cute when he was worried. "The doctor said so, Nick. If I go in too early, they might just send me back to wait some more." Nick still looked skeptical. "We must call the doctor," he said firmly. "Yeah, all right, we'll call the doctor. Give me the phone." Nick passed her his cellphone, only to have Nat chat to her doctor, then pass the phone to him. The doctor told him exactly what Natalie had, and Nick looked duly chastened when he closed the phone. "You were right, she said..." He trailed off at the look on Natalie's face. "Nat?" "It isn't time yet, Nick. Don't panic, okay? All we need is for you to start sweating blood... literally." Nick took the hint and calmed down. It was well into the night when Natalie decided that it was time to go to the hospital. Nick had called earlier to explain his absence from work, and had to almost threaten Tracy to keep her from rushing over as well. As his arms went around her, Natalie noticed the look on Nick's face. "Nick? What are you doing?" Nick's expression changed to that little-boy-lost look. "I'm taking you to the hospital." "Why do I feel a bit like Lois Lane?" Somehow, Natalie had just known - perhaps from the way he was holding her - that Nick didn't intend to go to the hospital the usual way. "This will be faster." "Forget it." Natalie could be very forceful when she wanted to be. "Besides, I need my things, and I don't know how good it'll be for me metres up in this weather." When Nick sighed in defeat, Natalie knew they'd go in the Caddy. Nick paced up and down in the hospital room while the nurse checked Natalie. "Yes, I think we can definitely admit you now." She pulled up the sheet and smiled at Nick on her way out. Nick waylaid her, however. "What about... uh, forms? Don't I have to fill in forms or pay a deposit or something?" The nurse smiled. This guy had yet to join the 20th century, she'd noticed. Making comments about boiling water and things, and now forms. "No, Mister Knight, your girlfriend filled those out months ago. All the information is in the computer. And we'll bill you, don't worry." Nick didn't look relieved, and the nurse knew why: he wanted something to *do*. She patted Nick's arm. "Why don't the two of you watch TV or something while I call the doctor. Then we'll get the blood and other samples we need, okay?" "Okay." Watching TV together was something he and Natalie did well. "Nat? You wanna watch TV?" "Why not?" When the nurse had left Nick did turn on the TV, then he turned to Natalie. "Nat? What do they need all those samples for?" "Routine. Nick, calm down. You're being the worst expectant father under the sun." That made him relax. "I take it you mean the moon." "Whatever." Natalie tensed - this contraction looked like it hurt more, and it lasted a little longer. Nick was beside her in a flash (literally), but then it was over. "I'm having a baby, Nick. These things happen, okay?" "Okay." "Good. Now sit here with me, and let's watch TV. Change it to something good." Nick started flipping channels until Natalie told him to stop. "Wait! My favourite soap opera!" Nick frowned. "That's the Sci-Fi Channel." "I know. That's Dark Shadows. My favourite." Nick didn't recognise it. "Dark what?" "Shadows? The soap about the vampire, Barnabas Collins?" "You're kidding!" But he settled down to watch with her. The doctor arrived not much later. "So, Natalie, I see you actually got him here." Nat grinned a little shyly. "Yeah. He was in a bit of a panic. He'd have flown me here if I'd let him." "Most partners are like that," said the doctor, missing the dirty look Nick gave Natalie. "Okay, all the tests are fine, everything's going well," she said after a minute. "We'll put the monitor on you now." "The what?" Nick hadn't heard of any monitors except for that thing they used to take pictures of the baby. Ultrasound, that was it. "It's a foetal monitor," said the doctor, motioning for the nurse to help. "It'll give us the baby's heartbeat and tell us how strong the contractions are." The doctor also began putting in an IV line. "What's that for?" Nick didn't recall seeing this on any TV shows, either. Then again, he wondered how accurate those were. Not very, he thought, if this was any indication. "It's just in case we need it later. We won't have time to put it in then." "You... you think there's a problem?" "No. It's..." "I know. Routine. Are you sure?" "Yes." The doctor gave Natalie a smile and left the room. "What now?" asked Nick. "Now we wait." Nick sensed when the sun came up. He had closed the curtains in the room the last time the doctor had been in, but some sunshine was still getting in. He was trying to ignore the sunlight trickling through when he felt another vampire and turned. "Vachon." "Hi," said Tracy's supernatural friend. "Hi, Doctor." Nick's jaw dropped when he felt his master, who entered just behind Vachon. The daytime... they were here in the daytime. They intended to be here until the baby came. And Nick was stuck. Natalie, who was starting to be in more pain than before, didn't look too happy. "Oh, great, a vampire convention. Why don't you call Janette and have her come over too," she said sarcastically. "Tracy made me come," said Vachon, at least having the grace to sound unhappy about it. "She worked last night and went home, so she made me promise to give her a report later." "What's your excuse?" Nick asked LaCroix. "Just here for moral support," the older vampire said, sounding anything but sincere. "For me?" gasped Natalie as another contraction began. "No, for Nicholas," LaCroix replied, as if that were extremely obvious. The nurse stared at the people in the room - and at Vachon for a lot longer than everyone else (of course). "You can't all be in here. Out." "Nicholas wants us to stay," LaCroix told her, in his most persuasive voice. The nurse didn't care. She shoved him. "That way, if you please. The waiting room is clearly marked. Thank you." And she slammed the door behind them. "How're we doing?" she asked Natalie. "Okay," said Nat, but she was starting to sound tired. "I think she's in a lot of pain," Nick told the nurse. "That's normal." "Well, can't you give her something?" The nurse looked at Natalie. "Would you like something for the pain?" Natalie shook her head. "Please!" Nick said to the nurse. "Your girlfriend said she doesn't want anything." She turned to Nat. "We'll see what the doctor says about an epidural. I think your chart says you'll have that?" Nick remembered discussing something about that with the doctor a few weeks before. "We discussed that - she wants that." "Ms. Lambert?" "Yeah." Just then the doctor came back in to insert the epidural. "How are you doing, Natalie?" "I'm tired. I want to go home." "Well, not now," said the doctor, reasonably. "There's a little baby that wants to make her appearance first." A short while later the doctor arrived to check Natalie out again. "Good. All ten centimetres dilated. I'll get my staff in here." Nick knew that ten centimetres was the right amount for delivery. "Isn't she supposed to go to the delivery room?" Not even the worst partners had nagged the doctor so much. What, was this man from the Middle Ages or something? "This is a modern hospital," said the doctor, bustling out. "We use one room for it all, these days," clarified the nurse. "Oh." Nick continued to look confused, but his face was stern again when yet another contraction gripped Natalie and the doctor rushed back in. "Okay, Natalie, you can push whenever you're ready." Natalie said nothing, but concentrated on her task. Nick was rather shocked at the people who were casually walking around helping, and yet ignoring Natalie. "Nick!" Natalie yelled suddenly, and grabbed his hand when he came closer to her. "Don't leave me!" "I won't, I promise." "Ever!" Nick stared at the doctor, who just made an indication that Nick say whatever Natalie wanted to hear. "Never, Nat." "Push again," the doctor said, looking at the foetal monitor. Natalie pushed, Nick stared and worried, and then... "Something's wrong," he said, straightening up. "What?" the doctor said, in total exasperation. "The baby's heartbeat..." said Nick. He could hear the heartbeats of everyone in the room, plus one faster, lighter one... the baby. Only it wasn't so fast anymore. The doctor looked at the monitor again. "You're right. It's dropped a little." She frowned at the vampire. "How did you know?" Before Nick could say anything, Natalie groaned and pushed again. And nothing happened again. The doctor was shaking her head. "I think the baby's in distress." She looked at Natalie. "And I think Nat needs the relief. Natalie?" She spoke to Nat soothingly. "Uh huh..." murmured Natalie. It didn't hurt but she was very tired. "We're going to do a C-section. Okay?" "'Kay." Nick followed them down to the operating theatre, where the nurses made him put on a gown, mask, the works, while they got Natalie ready. He stood with her at the head of the table while the doctor performed the operation. "It'll he okay, Nat," he said, over and over. Natalie couldn't reply because of the oxygen mask, but her tired eyes told him she appreciated all he was doing. Nick could tell the exact moment the cut was made, because the smell of blood filled his nostrils. Nick looked down at Natalie. She was holding onto his hand for dear life, but she didn't look good. Nick refused to contemplate what he would do if something happened to her... "It's a girl!" said the doctor suddenly. "What?" That had been fast. Nick looked over as the doctor finished up, then put the baby on Natalie's chest. Nick just stared. And stared. The feeling inside him threatened to overwhelm all his senses. This, then, was mortality. This, then, was also immortality. Natalie would go on forever, because of this little girl. If he died... nothing. But here was Natalie's way of becoming immortal... and Nick felt the pain of knowing it was superior to his. A tear splashed onto his shirt... luckily it was black so the blood didn't show up. Natalie hadn't said anything, just held the baby to her. The nurse interrupted, saying the baby had to be weighed, cleaned, etc. "She's off to the ward now," said the nurse. "You have to get some rest. Just let the doctor finish up." Natalie nodded, closing her eyes. It hadn't hurt right at the end, but it had still been tiring. The nurse was talking now, and Nick focused on her. "I'm sorry, what?" "You need to wait outside now, please. Go back to the ward while we finish up here." Nick didn't want to. What if something happened, what if... And yet he knew that even if something dire did happen, Natalie already had immortality and wouldn't want to be brought across. Outside the ward, Nick encountered LaCroix and Vachon, and... Tracy. "Well, Nicholas?" asked the master vampire. "It's a girl." He realised that he hadn't paid attention at all to anything else and didn't know how much the baby weighed, or... But he did know she was perfect. The two other vampires looked at one another. "That's good," said Vachon, trying to say what he figured you should. This had been the first time he'd been in this part of a hospital, ever. It was unnverving because it made him think of immortality in a new way. LaCroix had clearly been thinking along the same lines as well. "I have a show to prepare," he said. "I will visit you and the baby later." Then he and Vachon went out, leaving Tracy behind, looking stunned. "Men!" She came forward. "Nick? How did things go?" "They had to do a C-section, they called it. The baby was in distress. But she's all right now." Nick felt tired himself, and he hadn't even done anything hard. "Get some rest, Nick," his partner said. "You look like hell." He shook his head. "I have to be here when they bring Natalie back." "Then I'll wait with you." And they sat outside the ward to wait. It was almost half an hour before Natalie was wheeled back in. The doctor gave her a sedative so that she could rest, and ordered Nick to go home and change. "Mister Knight, things are going to be hard for Natalie for a couple of days. You'll need to be rested. Go home, take a nap, eat something. That's an *order*." Tracy pulled Nick away from the ward, where he was kissing Natalie's cheek. "I'll make sure he gets some rest, doctor." "Good." As they drove back to Nick's apartment - Tracy was driving her car and had promised to pick Nick up again in six hours - Tracy asked *the* question. "So, how does it feel?" "What?" "What do you mean what! To be a father, Nick!" Nick now wondered if not telling Tracy the truth had been such a good idea. But he also knew that this baby would know no one else... In fact, this baby would have *vampire* protectors. The Community owed Nat. "It's... hard to believe." Tracy just smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure it is. But you'll get used to it." "Yeah." Nick smiled his innocent smile, the one that made women faint. Luckily Tracy was watching the road at the time. "You'll do great," Tracy said as she pulled up to the warehouse. But then she also started getting out of the car. "What are you doing?" "I'm coming with you, to make sure you eat, and to tuck you in." Tracy looked at her partner sternly. "I mean it, Nick. We're partners, that means we have no secrets. If I have to yank all your clothes off and put you in bed myself, I will!" And she would, too. "No!" Nick tried to sound a little less panicky. "I'll get some sleep... and I'll... eat. Promise." "All right." Trace got back in the car. "You'd better look better when I pick you up in six hours." Nick did exactly as he'd promised. He ate... okay, drank... fed. Then he fell asleep on the couch. But he did wake up in time to take a shower and change. Tracy was pleased. "You do look better, Nick." "Gee, thanks." Tracy ignored the sarcasm in his voice. "Things will be rough for Natalie for a couple of days," she admonished him. "Remember, she had actual surgery." "Yeah, I know." Nick tried not to sound irritated, but Tracy's advice *was* starting to get to him. So was remembering all the blood in the operating theatre. That feeling he'd gotten in there, the sudden realisation that humans were mortal and immortal at the same time, had made him forget the bloodlust... All he'd been able to think of when their baby had been born had been what a miracle it all was... Nick suddenly realised what his thoughts had been: he'd thought of *their* baby. Oh, he had been prepared to be a father to the baby girl, but never once had he thought of her as *his*. And now he did. Natalie was his, and he was hers. So the baby was theirs. It all made wonderful, beautiful sense. Natalie was holding the baby when Nick and Tracy got there. "Hi, guys." She looked much better than she had the previous night, although she still looked very tired. "She's sleeping. Just dropped off now. I think the nurse will be along in a minute to take her to the nursery." "Don't they have rooming-in here?" asked Tracy. "Absolutely." Nat smiled again - a satisfied, motherly smile. It made her look utterly fantastic and fulfilled, and Nick's heart just warmed to see this. He'd been looking at the baby - and Nat - with utter fascination since the minute they'd walked in the door. Tracy, however, looked confused. "Then...?" "Advice from my doctor, and friends. Don't go for rooming-in, it takes too much out of you. Get the rest while you can, you'll need it. At home I'm on my own." Nick looked wounded. "No, you won't be." Natalie grinned at him. "Oh, yeah, and just how much do you know about babies?" If they'd been alone, Nick would have offered to hire a nurse if Natalie wanted. But he kept quiet because Tracy was there. So all he said was, "More than I did nine months ago!" "Yeah." Just then the nurse came in to take the baby. Her ID bracelet still only said, "Baby Lambert", as Tracy noticed when Nat shifted the baby and handed her to the nurse. "So, what are you guys gonna call her?" This had been something Nat and Nick had not even discussed. All the girls' names Nick could think of were from 13th century Europe, anyway. "We don't know yet," Nick finally said. "We're working on it," added Natalie. Tracy nodded in understanding and looked at her watch. "Nick, our shift started five minutes ago." Nick nodded and leaned down to kiss Natalie. "I'll see you later," he whispered. On his 'dinner hour', Nick went to the Raven. He left his car at the precinct and flew, just to make sure that Tracy wouldn't follow him. Not that she would have, but Nick didn't want to have to put up with questions later. If he left his car at the precinct, then Tracy would think he was still there somewhere. LaCroix had just finished one of his monologues. "What were you doing there, LaCroix?" It was a demand, and the master vampire didn't take kindly to demands from his wayward son. "I wanted to offer moral support." "Who to? Me? Natalie? Neither of us needed it, thank you." Nick didn't really want to be in this confrontation, but he had to ask, to reassure himself that LaCroix wouldn't decide to make a snack of their baby. "You really can be so tedious, Nicholas. I will have my revenge, but it will not be now. Live your life with your mortal coroner and child. They'll be gone soon enough, and I can wait." "Please, don't go near Natalie." "I - will - visit - Natalie," LaCroix said in a deliberate, don't-mess-with-me tone of voice. "Why?" "To see what it is about her that has you so... enamoured." Nick looked down, allowing his anger to ebb. "LaCroix, please." "I always pay my debts," the master vampire said. "And I always keep my word - such as it is." Nick, shaking his head, walked out. LaCroix turned back to the microphone. "What is it about new lives that has all humans so enraptured? Why do we sit around complimenting new parents on their luck in the gene pool? There can be only one answer to that, my children: fear. Fear that without these pathetic, helpless creatures, we will not go on. All of us would like to leave a legacy behind. All of us. Some of us leave poetry, plays, music, great writings. These will outlast all of us, myself included. And those who can't do such things, bring forth small versions of themselves in the hope of clinging to immortality. Such a fragile basis upon which to build, but the only one some are allowed. Is this our legacy? Is this what you, my listeners, will leave after you?" His own thoughts starting to make him feel uncomfortable, LaCroix stopped. He had done the same, he knew. Daughters, sons... But none as special as his beautiful Janette, now lost to him. None as special as his handsome knight Nicholas, who hated the gift he'd been given. What legacy did he, Lucien LaCroix, have? Without Nicholas, none. LaCroix vowed to get his wayward child back, even if it meant being sickly sweet to Natalie. Natalie had just finished feeding the baby when she felt a presence, and looked up to find Lucien LaCroix standing at the door, bearing a bunch of flowers - roses of many colours this time. "May I come in?" he asked, all charm. Natalie clutched her daughter to her protectively. "Why are you here?" "I came to pay my respects, my dear doctor." Natalie couldn't think of anything to say as LaCroix walked in and peered down at the baby. Normally he only thought of 'small ones' as snacks, but now he could suddenly see why humans were so attached to them. Maybe just a small indulgence... "May I?" He held his arms out. Nat was too afraid to give him the baby, and yet too afraid not to. But then she reasoned that if he wanted to kill her daughter, he could do so at any time... She handed the baby over, hoping LaCroix wouldn't drop her. LaCroix didn't drop her. He'd held his own child once, millennia ago, and hadn't forgotten how. He remembered that tiny face... Divia, his child, his master. It wasn't something he liked thinking about, unusual for Lucien LaCroix. Now he looked down at this child of Natalie Lambert and... not Nicholas. But this child would only know Nicholas as her father. "Congratulations, Doctor," he said. "You have produced a beautiful child." "Thank you," Natalie stammered. LaCroix gave Natalie the baby back; she had been starting to look nervous. "Now, do you understand my feelings for Nicholas?" Natalie, checking the baby, looked up, confused. "What?" "The feelings a parent has. How would you feel, Doctor, if someone tried to take your child away from you?" "I'd want to kill them," Natalie said, knowing it for truth. "Now, can you understand? I am Nicholas' *father*. He is my *son*. And I am fighting as hard for him as you would for your own child." Natalie looked up into those blue eyes. Normally ice-blue, they were now warmer, softer. And she suddenly realised the truth: LaCroix loved Nick! Whatever he did, he did it because he didn't want to lose his son, his child. It wasn't all control, all a power game. The master vampire was motivated by love. All the hate and fear Natalie had felt for LaCroix suddenly vanished, and she knew then that he would never hurt her, or the baby. It would drive Nick away, and LaCroix didn't want that. "I understand," was all Nat said. "I do understand, now." "Then you see why Nicholas' search for humanity hurts me." "And I'm another source of that hurt. Yes. I won't stop helping him unless he asks me, but..." Here Natalie paused, considered the truth. "I know Nick needs you, just as she needs me." She smiled down at her baby. The hope in LaCroix's eyes, quickly quelled, made Natalie even more certain of the vampire's feelings towards his son. Then LaCroix straightened. "Thank you, Doctor." It was hard for him to say, but he said it nonetheless. "I will visit you again," he said. "I'll look forward to it," replied Natalie, meaning it. Natalie didn't tell Nick about the visit, although he had been suspicious of the roses. On the sixth day, she felt well enough to go home. Walking wasn't so sore anymore, and she felt strong enough to cope with the baby. Nick had arranged for a private nurse to come by for a few hours every day, and Natalie accepted gratefully. She was lucky Nick could afford this; most new mothers had to cope - or try to cope - on their own. When she walked into the loft, Nick carrying their - *their* - child, Natalie was surprised. Cards of every kind decorated the loft, balloons were tied to the staircase, flowers, more presents... "What's this?" she asked. "Our friends and acquaintances from the precinct, the morgue... the Community." He said the last one with a touch of trepidation, but Natalie only smiled. "It's lovely." "Yes, it is." In fact, Nick had been surprised that so many vampires had bothered to bring gifts and cards for a mortal child. He couldn't know that a certain master vampire and a certain dark-haired vampire had twisted everyone's arm. They sat on the couch, Nick smiling at the baby. He knew he would never feel as whole as he did right now, holding this child, not even if he became mortal again. His world had expanded immeasurably, and he was grateful. Natalie sat beside him, leaning against his shoulder and looking at the beautiful little girl. "So... what do we name her, Nick? We can't keep calling her 'the baby', you know." Nick thought of a French name he'd always liked. He didn't want to saddle this new life with any baggage left over from his own or Natalie's lives. This child needed a name that belonged to her, and no one else. "What about Aimee?" He told her the spelling, too. Natalie thought about it. "I like it. What does it mean?" Nick smiled. "It has the same meaning in French and Latin. It means 'beloved'." Natalie whispered it to herself and the baby, "Aimee Lambert. Yes." "No." "What?" Nat looked up, startled. "No what?" "Aimee Knight." Natalie was touched. To her, Aimee was 'their' baby, but... "All right. Aimee Lambert Knight." Nick smiled. "Good. I like it. And I love you both." Since he'd said it that first time, it had become easy to say. Easy because he meant it, because Natalie's love had shown him parts of himself he'd thought lost. Natalie changed the subject abruptly. "Nick... do you still want to become mortal again?" And this time Nick answered truthfully. "I want to keep trying, Nat. But I think that with you and Aimee here, if I don't become mortal it won't hurt so much." "Thanks for telling the truth." Nat sat up straight. "I want you to make peace with LaCroix." "What?" "He came to see me in the hospital, Nick. He held Aimee. And I understand now why he does what he does. He loves you." Nick wasn't sure he wanted to hear this. "He wants to control me." "Partly, yes. But he loves you. And I know that he'll never hurt me, or Aimee. He needs you, Nick, and you need him." She overrode the protest she knew was coming. "I know you need him. He's your father." That said it all, and Nick knew that she was right. Father and son; they did need each other. "All right," he said finally. "I'll try." And Natalie knew that they would make peace. LaCroix would have his son back, Nick would have his father, and she would have her family. Leaning upwards, Nat touched Nick's cheek. "Things will be all right now, Nick, you'll see." And as they kissed, their sleeping baby between them, Nick for once felt peace. THE END Copyright Marina Bailey, April 1996. All rights reserved. - Marina. \\ "You've heard it said that living well is ||>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> // // the best revenge? Au contraire - living || R I C H I E >> \\ \\ forever is the best revenge." - LaCroix ||>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> // //=====Marina Bailey=====tmar@fast.co.za=====|| \\ \\===Chief Flag Waver and Defender of Richie====Dark Knightie===//